Pendejo Time - Boner Is Afraid

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

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Hello. Hey, what's going on? This is Mark's Selling the Ribs. Yeah, this is Mark's Selling the Ribs. Selling the tasty delicious brown ribs with green sauce. How can I help you? Do y'all sell ribs? About a dozen?

We sell chops, links, brats, burgers, porks.ats movie so brats and we do sell ribs by the dozen correct so brats yeah we sell brats I thought they were called brats they were not called brats they are called brats Bratwurst mm bratwurst is this bratwurst it is bratwurst sir I've been calling it bratwurst my whole life. People probably hate you for that. And I've been coming here since the 70s.

It's spelled with an A. It is, but it's the German A, which is like a I. The Germans have nothing to do with my language. Well, they kind of do. You speak English. It's kind of a German thing. German is an English word. Correct.

I mean, yeah. I mean, it is. Yeah, I guess it would be Deutsch over there. But yeah, that's correct. Are you here to place an order for delivery or pickup? I'd like to get it delivered here at the restaurant to my table. Oh, you're going to do it?

How much do I have to charge for the delivery on that Are you at the restaurant currently inside? Okay, well delivered here We can just bring it out to deliver it to my car after I'm done if I do you have a white box I could put this in later a Do you have a white box I could put this in later? A to-go box? Yeah, for sure.

I mean, I don't know. A white box. Yeah, it can be white. Yeah, yeah, it often is. I can definitely have your server just bring you. You don't have to order this to go. Seeing as you are in the restaurant, I can tell your server to bring it to you fresh.

Can I have it fresh? Yeah, that's kind of the whole point of the it whole point of the... I'd much rather be fresh. Okay, yeah, it's a Marcus on the Ribs Promise. Fresh, delicious ribs by the dozen. Marcus on the Ribs. Yeah, that's the name of the restaurant. Yeah. So one order of ribs by the dozen, would you like any sides with that? Mac and cheese, green potatoes, green beans,

baked mac and cheese, vegetables, chef's medley. Chef's medley, is that vegetable's medley? It is a mixture of grilled and sauteed vegetables. It's going to be broccoli, carrots, squash, and onions. Yeah, all kinds of. Sounds like all kinds of vegetables. Yeah, it's the chef. Should be called a vegetable medley. Medley.

Well, I mean, I guess the Chef's Medley is a Medley vegetable. Have you talked to Chef's Medley right now? For sure. We always like to tell our guests they can speak directly to Sous Chef's Medley. Let me get him on the phone.. Yeah, one second chef Smedley Yeah phone Hi Speak to chef Smedley yes, what I have my meal fresh?

You can have it fresh and you can have it in a white box with the vegetables. How do you know about the white boxes? Do they let you eat out of those in here? They do. You can have it however you want it here. I like to dip it in the back in the marks. Mmm. I like to dip it in the back, in the mucks. I like to pull off star-formed chips and dip them in the barbecue sauce and eat them like a taco bowl. I understand.

I like to do the same thing here at Marcus on the Ribs. That's why they made me the head chef. Do they let you eat the food after you make it? Sometimes, if nobody wanted, they'd let me eat it, and they'd let me test it. I be makin' horrible poison food till they always send it back and I can eat it. And all I get is diarrhea. I make horrible poison foods too, but it make my skin turn yellow.

Oh. Well, I suppose I'll take my order from the chef. If you don't mind. Oh, I love it. I think everybody here would rather take that order from you if you've got the spare time I love that. I love to talk directly to the customers directly to my patrons Yeah, that way the cashier can take a little break So you won't make the food and then you can bring it out correct then you can probably pay for it Yeah, who cares? Yeah, that's fine. So you have a warm Marcus by the ribs, ribs dozen.

And you have a chef's Schmedley's vegetable Schmedley. And you want it in a white box to go with a side of barbecue sauce. I'd like it delivered fresh here to go later. OK, so fresh to go to... I gotta go home tonight, I gotta see my daughter. Okay, so fresh hot to go ribs with a vegetable chef's man. I'll have him for here to go to the table.

Okay, all right, yeah, we got that. Would you like a drink? Y'all got pimp sauce? We absolutely have pimp sauce, correct? I have two. Okay. Do y'all have a white cup? We do have a white cup, yeah we do. Okay.

To go here. Okay. Actually I'd like to drink to go. I like the meal for here I don't want to drink nothing till I'm headed home. I understand you get right soft while I'm sitting that well, I'm not driving then I can't walk I Understand young have a cold drink to get on the way home in your hot car

Yeah, because the ribs are hot and the smidgen is hot. So you have to have a cold drink. Oh, yeah. That'll be, let's do the math here. I'm sorry. That'll be $33.14. I don't have none of that. I don't have any money at all.

And I'm scared. And I'm scared. Well, luckily for you, you are the first to patron today to get the Chefs Medley Scholarship for one free Marcus on the Ribs by the Dozen Chefs Medley Vegetable Medley and a cup of pimp sauce to go for the uh. Alright. Yeah. I love you, sir. And I'll do anything to make you happy

and make you better food. Yeah. Oh, my name isn't Chef Smedley. Thank you, Chef Smedley. You're welcome, baby. I'm baby. Correct. Wah.

Yeah, I'm. 100 babies walking up in a trich coat. Yeah, we'll have the milk. I'll have the milk. We'll have the mama's milk. I'll have my mama's breast in my mouth, please. Can I have the binky? Can I get 20 binkies?

Can I get a fresh baby's binky, just for minky? Thank you. Diaper. Diaper and a binky to go, please. Thank you. I guess I'll do 20 diapers and a bunch of wipes. Diaper and a binky to go please. Thank you. I guess I'll do 20 diapers and a bunch of wipes.

Where's the baby section? Sorry, can you unlock this baby formula? I'm a mom. I'm a baby. Wait, you're the mom? You lock up the baby formula so that the babies can't get in there. That's true.

They do do that. It's pretty cruel. They would eat all the milk powder. They do that so the babies can't sneak in at night and get all of it. The baby activator. You've activated it. They lock it up because they know

that I like to use it as flour. I like to bake with it. I like to use it as flour. I like to bake with it. I like to make baby bread. It tastes just like baby's favorite meat, milk. Milk, it's a baby's favorite meat. We got a new spokesperson for Milk meat. Get this guys, I don't know if you've heard of this, a real baby. I wanted to cry until I had my first taste of milk meat. Fresh from the mama.

Only milk meat tastes as good as a piece of meat to a baby. But if you're too young to crunch into those steaks, take a sweetie sip of that mama's milk. Meat milk, that is. Great job, baby. That was honestly a perfect read. I thought that one was pretty tight. That was pretty tight.

There was no problems with it. I think that looks good. You said it was a 15-second slot? I think that fit. Yeah, there's a 15-second slot for the Milk Meat ad read on the Joe Rogan podcast. It's like a programmatic ad read, so it'll be your voice between Mr. Rogan podcast. It's like a programmatic ad read, so it'll be your voice between Mr. Rogan speaking,

so it should be OK. It should be good, baby. Yeah. So I don't know if you're like ethically or morally opposed to that, but it's the best slot we can get. He's probably like the 30 minute mark. His guest is Peter Thieliel so I don't know if you're familiar with his work he loves babies I remember him from when he was a

baby we used to drink milk together mm-hmm yeah he's a he absolutely goes crazy goes Gaga for you guys if you will sorry I don't mean to offend but uh oh because Lady Gaga used to be a baby? Yeah, precisely. Correct. Exactly what I meant. When Lady Gaga was a baby, I wasn't even born yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. On account of you being a baby now, I mean.

Lady Gaga was born before I could even drink milk. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Hey guys, sorry baby, one second. This baby's kind of weird. He's like the size of a grown man. He's covered in hair. I don't think this guy's a baby at all. I mean, the ad read was good, but you know.

Oh, I can't wait until I'm old enough for solid foods. Hey, baby. Yeah, I was still one second. Yeah. Hey, human. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. This baby has got really sharp teeth. He's about seven feet.

Hello, human adult. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha needs to get up on that tree there. We've got some limbs that are kind of leading over into the power line here at the park. So if you could just get up there and get those down for me, that'd be real good. Thank you. Of course, human, adult, male, white. Yeah, that's another thing I was going to tell you.

If you could stop going up to the women and saying stuff like, hello, adult, female, human, you smell like meat today. I can smell your liver. Stuff like that. I think that would set us up for success. You know what I mean? Hello, human, female.

Your blood pressure is amazing. Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it's conducive to a healthy working environment. You know what I mean? So we're going to want to maybe tune that down. Walking up to you. I. Walking up to your boss. I'm walking up to my boss.

I'm squeezing her breasts. And I'm telling her, hello, female. So yeah, I guess how would you say that you deal with interpersonal work conflicts? You know what I mean? Say, for example, we hire an intern, OK? And it's her first day, and you want to make her feel welcome at the office.

What would you say, or how would you act around her to make her feel like she's a part of the company? Hello. You are human, just like me. And you are not white. OK, not a bad start. Your age is excellent. OK, yeah, yeah.

Your breakfast looks compelling. OK. All right. Yeah. I love your white lunch. I think all that's great. And I like that you're taking what could be considered like an unconventional approach.

We're very unconventional here at Palantir. I enjoy your brown male body. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very good. We don't get a lot of people that are into the DEI thing these days. I love brown bodies.

Very good, man. I'm glad that you do. We have a lot of brown bodies here at Palantir. And we want to make sure it's a safe place for them. I enjoy brown spaces. Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, I mean, you're with it. I get it. You're hip with it. I enjoy white

plates. Uh huh. Yeah. Every plate here is forged at a local platery made from the finest white clay. So that's good. Yeah, that's good. I think you passed that portion of the interview for sure. I love your female body. Your skin is gone.

Man, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm kind of, that's, that is a little creepy. I don't, I think maybe we're getting in the little. Your skin is just like mine, gone. Hey, but we're, we're getting into the territory here. I'm sorry. That's okay. I am a brown body with a thin waist.

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jokes all around, man. Girl, your body is rocking my shit. That is a great pickup line for the bar, but not for the office. Your bones are malleable. I wouldn't use that one at the club.

Maybe not that one. Maybe that one is a little, you know what I mean? You are like a rotisserie chicken. Yeah. Easy to disembowel. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one.

I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I'm going to use that one. I need this job bad Well, I'm glad that you have all the you know a lot of the dedication for sure you know I am in a bad place

Ever since I got robot surgery You're one of those Yes to make my hands gray like metal, I sacrifice everything. OK. OK. And well, we do have a secret. As it turns out, that was not part of the surgery.

So I paint my hands gray like metal. OK. Well, lucky for you, we don't hire cyborgs. But if you had a real cyborg, you didn't have anything to worry about. You know what I mean? If you're just a human guy, that's fine. We don't hire sins.

I am a human like you. I can be killed easily. a human like you. OK. One Sibian. Two guns. Yeah, that was a gift from Kenny. Yeah, yeah. The Sibian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got me the Sibian. And then Elon got me these two guns. One bottle of oil. Yeah. Two guns. Two guns. Two men. Three candles. One tub.

This summer. Jason Statham is. From the twisted mind. Of? Of? You've got one of the directors of Ari Aster. From the twisted mind of Ari Aster. Ari Aster? From the twisted mind of Norbit. Two men, two Sibians, two guns, one tub.

From the twisted minds of the Safety Brothers. We got to get these guys to safety. You've heard of uncut gems. But now from the Safety Brothers, do you really pr- unworn helmets. Do you really... Unworn helmet. It was about to be like that. Do you really pronounce it safety? No, not until now. I said Ari Aster like that because I was catching my breath.

I think his name is... From podcasting. Is Ari Aster not how you say it? Ari, I said, Ari. Oh, Ari, gotcha, okay. Hardy Aster in the Boner movie. You may say, Thomas, name one Ari Aster movie. To that I say, the one with Joaquin Phoenix on the front of it that I will never watch? It was actually...

Just her? No, that was going to be... That's Spike... Oh, for one. Spike Jonze. Fuck you, Ari Aster. You're thinking of Bo is Afraid, which if I'm being honest is kind of not really a movie so much as something that you just like boners afraid from fucking

his mom be arch midsummer more like midcomer are yes actually had been meaning to watch that and I think I was thinking of someone else no that is Ari Aster that is his movie. Boner's Afraid. Yeah. Midcomer. Yeah, Edgington. The Strange Penis About The Johnsons. Get Headed Terry. Yeah.

Boner. Cream Scenario. Bohner. Cream scenario. Death of a eunuch with a horn shaped penis. I think that's pretty much all the movies he did. Harry A** Turd. You got it.

Also, the turtle's head. Munch owls, all owls and all up a penis. Very good. That was one of the best reads I've ever heard. Very scary. I don't really much particularly care for his movies, if I'm going to be honest. He seems like one of those guys where you have to like the movies

that he makes, or else you're not allowed to have an opinion on movies. But I think- I'm going to a Q&A. You know Todd Solons? Yeah, the guy that did- Happiness? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to a Q&A for it.

That's sick, man. That's actually really fucking cool. I think that was the only movie of his I've seen. I saw it a few months ago, and I had to pace around the house the whole time during all the pedophile scenes. I didn't like those. Yeah, but I understood they are funny. I just, you know. What made you uncomfortable about them because you don't like to revisit things you used to do to people? No. That's good.

Mark 1 for Jake. That was a good one. I gave you a lot of shit on the show, but when you call me a pedophile and you land it right there. It hurts real bad. No, it doesn't hurt. I think, all right. There we go. This is the game we trained for.

Yeah. I think that we're 20, 23 minutes in, and we got, all right, we got to fight some, we got to fight back. No, it was good. That was very funny. I mean, Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's so good, man. What a damn guy.

He's so good. Rest in peace to one of the literally like, I think we do toss around goat a little too much in today's society. But I do believe one of the goats, easily. I always tell people, I'm a die-hard Mission Impossible fan. Mission Impossible 3, when he's the bad guy, so damn good. So good.

Some of the most intense, like genuinely, I know it's just a movie, but you think of a movie bad guy and you're like, OK, it's The Rock, or OK, it's Dolph Lundgren, or it's Jason Statham. There's something very terrifying about a bad guy that's like a schlubby loser. You know what I mean? I mean, he's not a schlubby loser in that movie.

He's like a fucking evil mastermind or whatever the fuck. But yeah, genuinely more terrifying to me than like a bad guy with abs or something. You know what I mean? But big time respect to PSH. Sorry, what happened to you? Don't like it when an actor dies of heroin. Doesn't really feel good.

Well, you're open to that opinion. But yeah, it's a real shame what they did to that man. What's the cue? Where is it as like at a movie, like one of those nice movie theaters in New York or something? I actually don't know. I think it's in Manhattan somewhere. Oh, that's cool. But it seems like one of those things

where I'm just going to see a bunch of people from Twitter, probably, and know more about movies than I do. It seems like one of those things where I'm just going to see a bunch of people from Twitter probably know more about movies than I do. I hate talking about movies with people who are good at watching movies because it makes me feel stupid. Yeah, for sure, man. Yeah.

I like, there's a certain, I do like talking to people who like movies. But whenever people start doing film talk, it really gets on my nerves. Because a lot of times it's's like, I know vaguely what you guys are talking about. And there's no need for you to be wording things like this. Correct.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they only speak in film school terms. And it's like, you could put this in layman's terms when you're choosing not to. Yeah, there's a certain type. And some of these people are my friends. So I don't know. But fuck them.

They call me gay or whatever. If you're like, oh, the way that the Dutch angle, go home and do a bunch of keyboard cleaner and then come back and talk with me. We don't have to do this, man. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. Movies are movies. I'm not a Philistine or whatever the fuck.

You know what I mean? It's a movie. I've watched movies where I've been moved like damn. Like when I watch Tree of Life, I get a little choked up. That's my favorite movie of all time. I've made the mistake of talking Tree of Life with movie people. And I'm like damn, you just ruined this for me. I don't know mistake of talking Tree of Life with movie people and I'm like

damn you just ruined this for me. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't know any of these terms. It's just a great movie about a dad that sucks and Sean Penn and there's some dinosaurs which for a guy like me that's all you fucking need. You just need a dad that sucks set of textures. It's a great movie, man. I need to re-watch it. It's my favorite movie of all time. Terrence Malick is the motherfucker, or one of the motherfuckers, if I do say so myself.

I don't know about you. I definitely tried to be a movie guy when I was much younger. Kind of like in high school a little bit, and then a little bit in college, where I was like, I'm going to be a guy that talks about movies in a smart way. And I quickly realized that I am stupid. And so I don't understand actors' motivations or directors' motivations or camera stuff.

I don't really understand sound design. I don't understand lighting at all. And I'm learning that because I've been on, I don't want to say on set and sell it more than it is. It's on set in my house filming. And the guy that's doing the directing is doing lights. And I'm like, can't we just turn the camera on? And he's like, what are you, retarded?

And I'm like, yeah. But I didn't know that we had to do all this shit. It's really hot in my house. Please turn these off. know that we had to do all this shit. It's really hot in my house. Please turn these off. I think my favorite movie is The Big Lebowski, which is one of my most 95 IQ traits.

But it's a good movie. I think that, if your favorite movie is Big Lebowski, it's a sleeper smart take, I think. But I'm also stupid. You know what I mean? It's one of those that I thought it in high school, then I abandoned it because I wanted to seem cool, and now I've rewatched it a few times. Yeah.

It's my favorite movie. It's a great movie. It's so funny. And it's so, like, unique. And as I get into my mid-twenties, I'm more like, damn, this is kind of who. People become those characters. Yeah, I felt that way about Office Space, which I kind of like, to me, Office Space and The Big Lebowski exist in the same ballpark of really funny, well-written movies, and the characters are very much like,

the stories are kind of out there, but the characters are very much real people. Like there's a scene in Office Space when one of the guys rolls up in a wheelchair, and his neck and back is broken, and his arms are smashed, and his legs all fucked up. And he's like, yeah, I got hit by an 18-wheeler. I just got to check for $17 million.

I can't walk, but it's the best day of my life. It's so funny to me. Because there's so many times in my life when I've been on the freeway next to a big truck, and I'm like, dude, if this thing hit me and I lived, dude, I would be so happy. It would change my life. Yeah, I would probably have to fight to learn how to walk again,

and I'd have to eat baby food. But I mean, dude, oh my life. Like, yeah, I would probably have to fight to learn how to walk again. And I'd have to eat baby food. But like, I mean, dude, oh my god, it would just like, it would solve literally like 98% of my problems or whatever. I learned to walk before. I can learn to walk again. Baby food? Sounds good to me.

Peas and carrots? Little bitty milk? Awesome. See, I didn't have $17 million when I was two years old. I lived in the living room of my grandma's place. Get daddy a $17 million check. You know what I mean? That's what we're talking about.

Yeah, and then invest it. Invest 100% of that. No, no, no, no. Keep on working. Keep on struggling. And then as you're getting your affairs together and you're about to pass away, you look at those millions of dollars and you see how well the American Empire did

over the last 30 years. And you just weep with joy. Yeah, 100%. Do you think if everything worked out and you became rich, would you be one of those rich guys that didn't leave your kids any money, like Bill Gates or whatever, and Steve Jobs and shit? You know, I have a feeling that's

going to happen either way. So I'm not too worried about that. Not too. I don't mind thinking about that too crazy stuff. I will be, yeah. I will be leaving them a lot of stuff that I bought on Facebook Marketplace. Yeah.

If I get rich. No, I think I don't really see a situation in which I have an amount of money that is unheard of. Right, yeah, me neither. I think I'll die in the income bracket of a guy who did well for himself, but if I gave all my money to charity, it wouldn't change the world. Yeah, for sure. No, I feel that.

But I do have a good feeling about things in general. I've gotten a lot more like, I really have to believe in myself. Because otherwise I don't do stuff. Yeah, I feel you on that, man. I definitely like it. It's so stupid to be like, no, I'm going to make it. But at this point, it's like I really have to believe it because otherwise I'm just

fucking in New York for no reason. And everybody's just mean. And it's expensive. So I have to be like, no, I'm doing this part of my quest. It is kind of a, I wouldn't call it demoralizing. For me, it's kind of the opposite, where I'm like, OK, I think I'm coming into my, I guess what you'd call, the place where I should get financially stable at a time

when the world is in a very unstable place. And so it kind of has put me in a grindset mindset, where I'm like, all right, you kind of have to work more. You just kind of have to do stuff. Where my ideal dream is to find a brown paper sack that has $20 million in it and then literally jack off forever until I die and do nothing and never ever move any of my limbs or ever do anything.

What exists within me, and this is not me being silly, I have, like, there are two wolves. There is the brown paper sack jack off and get 800 pounds wolf, and then there's like, you need to literally be busy every minute of every day and never ever stop to appreciate anything, because everything is gonna go away at some point. The good is always gonna be replaced by the bad,

and you're never ever ever gonna have a moment of peace. But if you always keep going, you never have to be replaced by the bad, and you're never, ever, ever going to have a moment of peace. But if you always keep going, you'd never have to be forced to think about how most of life is terrible dog shit that's frustrating and boring, interspersed with some type of goodness that you take for granted anyway. And so that being the case, I have to force myself to work more.

And work at stuff that I like doing, playing music or stand up or whatever, acting, whatever the fuck, writing. But if I'm being, there is a part of me that doesn't want to do anything at all. It just kind of wants to rot. Look at my phone for 18 hours a day and like play with my balls. There's nothing like it.

But then you know, you get depressed or whatever. Your balls get raw from all the scratching. Yeah. I only check off my balls so it's kind of hard. I just have to fondle myself to completion. Do you ever scratch your nuts in a way that makes your girlfriend confused? Um... Probably. There's been like a couple times, me and Ashley have been dating where like, I'll go to do a special nut scratching technique.

So like, you know, the pinch and roll, or maybe like the stretch and scratch. Where she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh I'm scratching my nuts. And she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, I'm scratching my nuts. And she's like, no, you're not. You're pinching the skin of your nut and stretching it and then kind of rubbing it. And I'm like, well, that's a scratch. And she's like, no, a scratch is like a scratch.

Everybody knows what a scratch is. And I'm like, no, there are advanced nut scratching techniques. There's the scratch, which is short, ephemeral. Here, one second gone the next, like in the sunset. And then there's the pinch and roll, which everybody knows, but maybe not women, where you pinch the nutskin and roll it.

Feels awesome. There's not a lot on par with it. And then there's the pinch, stretch, scratch, which you stay there in that moment for a little bit, like a nice date or something or a good laugh. I'm trying to think of some more advanced nut scratching techniques. There's grabbing the whole sack and just kind of pulling

the whole skin of the sack, kind of like stretching it out a lot. But that one's not, you don't do that all the time. It's kind of like something you do in private, you know what I mean? Yeah. Are you using a certain kind of soap or something that's making you? Like itchy? Yeah.

No, I just like my shit itches all the time my nuts itch constantly like a crazy amount it's always had itch I have a not even joking I have a really crazy dry skin

I get like what's the shit along your scalp like your scalp line yeah I get that on my scalp and I get it like in patches on my body Usually sir is yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but aside from the psoriasis I do just have like crazy dry skin I'll get spells of it usually in the summer where if I'm working out a lot My skin will get like I have to like off the shower like a lot or like my skin just gets all fucked up and sometimes it is on my nuts and like my gooch and asshole area. TMI for the fans but uh. Well no I was just curious because I mean you know. You don't scratch

that much you don't have that much of an itch? I don't really have much of an itch. I'm always repositioning. Yeah. I'm repositioning a lot. But it's typically discomfort driven, but not usually an itch situation. Once or twice a year, I might have poison ivy or something like that.

But yeah, I was just curious. I do, yeah. I mean, a pry. But if you had something to think about, most guys will talk about how often their balls itch. I don't think mine do as often as yours. So I was just checking. Make sure you don't have ball.

Ballitis. Yeah, ball cancer. Yeah. From sunburn from you going up. I know you sunbathe doggy style sometimes, so I wasn't sure. Ha ha ha! Dude, this is really embarrassing. When I was in high school, I got really insecure about how pale I am.

So I went out in the backyard and I laid down on our nasty ass wooden porch that was just rotting and fucking covered in cigarette butts, ass naked and tried to tan like a girl. So like an all over tan. And I went to the CVS and I got some of that like banana boat, like coconut tanning oil. And I just rubbed. I got ass naked, dude. I was probably like 15.

I got ass naked and I fucking, this was also around the time that I was like shaving my shit raw. You've talked about this where you think you're just going to get pussy at any moment. So you just shave your fucking everything, like dick to nuts to gooch like bald. So I just like your fucking everything, like dick to nuts to gooch, like bald. So I just shaved my dick nuts, butch, butch, shaved my shit fucking bone dry.

And then I lubed myself up slick and shiny with fucking coconut oil, banana boat, tanning cream. And then I just laid out on our nasty ass porch in the fucking hot sun for like 30 minutes on one side, and then 30 minutes on the other. I got bit by like fire ants on like my thighs and stuff. It was not a pleasurable experience. And then all that happened was my fucking cock

got sunburned as fuck and my ass cheeks got like raw and red from the sunburn. And I was really uncomfortable. My mom came home and I'm like literally burnt to a crisp like my whole body. And she's like, what happened? And I was like I was jumping on the trampoline. I was like jumping on trampoline a lot in my friend's place and she was like you have like because I like getting in the shower and she's like

you have like sun blisters on like your lower back. She's like were you naked outside? And I was like no no no I just jumped on the trampoline in my bathing suit and maybe uh maybe just got a little hot. I just got a little too much sun. And she's my mom, so I come out of the shower, and I'm going to get a towel. And she comes up around the stairs, and she's like, oh, sorry.

And she was like, Jacob, your ass is sunburnt. She's like, were you outside naked? Were you trying to tan? And I got really embarrassed, and I was like, no, dude. Like, I started yelling at her. I was like, mom, no. I was just like outside in my bathing suit. We went to the pool after the trampoline.

And I just, mom, leave me alone. I got sunburned. My fucking dad comes home. And I guess she was like laughing, because they were like in the garage drinking. And like, I come downstairs, and I'm all sunburned. And he was like, were you fucking out there fucking sun tanning, boy? You trying to get a tan dude or what you fucking read his shit

You we don't tan I could have told you that and I was like no, dude I was just up by the pool. He's like your god mama says goddamn ass cheeks are burnt up And I was like no, dude. I just know and then he's like you're out there I snaked on fucking porch weren't you trying to get a goddamn sun tan fag. I Was like dude, leave me alone. I was like, dude, leave me alone. I was, I look man, okay, fine. Like I'm white. I want, I just, I try to try to get, just try to get a tan. He was like, you got tan lotion? And I was like, no. And he was like, you ain't got yourself some fucking tan lotion, didn't you? He went outside,

laid out there on a porch. You got a sunburn trying to get a tan. Now, that's OK. You know, I'm just trying to get a little tan for summer for the boys. And I was like, no, leave me alone. Dude, my parents cooked the fuck out of me for like two weeks. I was the fucking, their gay little son who tried to get a

sun tan and then just burnt his ass cheeks and the tip of his dick. My fucking balls were peeling, dude. It was all fucked up. Why did you want to get your penis and balls and ass? I think I think like, well, because I was like really, I was like, I think because I saw it from the movies, like girls in the tanning booth.

And then like, I was like, oh, I don't want to get tan lines. So I was just like, I guess I'll tan naked. Dude, I don't know. I can't describe to you like my motivations in that moment. I just was like, I'm going to get my ass, I'm going to get my whole body fucking like a light brown. It's probably, dude, here's the thing. I'm not kidding.

Probably top five gayest things have ever done And I I'm comfortable enough with myself to know that is definitely top five gayest gayest things ever done in my life And I only ever did it to one time which is enough the competition. I mean you're allowed to your grown man You're allowed to do that now It's not against the law. No, I get it. I get it. It would be funny though, because the way your porch

situation is, because it's like a shared. Right now, my loft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Other people are walking past your welcome mat or whatever you're displayed at. Yeah, my fat ass, my like back fat just spilling out on the fucking, yeah. Sorry, I'm trying to get a tan, guys. I'm just trying to get ready for summer.

You're just smoking a cigarette naked out on the porch. Hey, guys. Hey, what's going on? Yeah, it's all right. It's a hot one out here, isn't it? Yeah, it's just fucking smoky out. My dick is melting. My ass is hot on this black metal. I had to get a bunch of sunscreen for my asshole. He's talking to the maintenance guy. Hey, Paul.

Yeah, I'm sunning my ass and my balls. Could you guys put down some mats on the floor? My asshole's getting burned every time I put it on here. It's just something I'm working on for the summer. Yeah. Every time I rub my asshole on the porch, it gets burned. Could you guys put something softer down? I pay rent to this motherfucker.

You guys don't have a boys tanning zone? Is there like a zone where me and other boys from the apartment building could like tan together? Yeah, if you guys can work on that. I really think like as it you know as a tenant I'm owed certain things you know so I do think like a boy's tanning zone would be best No, AC is fine. It's just if we could at least have a tanning room Yeah, an outside tanning room. Yeah, you've showered in our showers You know how it's like it's just sheetrock, where the fucking, it's so fucked up, dude.

Like, I think we're getting mold, which kind of pisses me off. But it's just, instead of like being shower tile, it's just sheet rock, for those of you who haven't been to my place. Because they very clearly just like installed the showers with like five feet of like bath tub material. So whatever the fuck that, I don't know what that is. Polyv. So whatever the fuck that is.

I don't know what that is. Polyvinyl or whatever the fuck. I don't know. But I don't know what anything is. Some of you guys are going to be like, oh, it's actually called this. It's called my ass cheeks. Yeah.

Yeah, a pirate's parrot. Poly one of vinyl. it's a parrot, a Polly wanna vinyl. That's if. Yep. So just let me know on that one. That's awesome, dude. God damn, that's awesome, man. Polly wanna vinyl?

Yeah, he's like a music nerd bird. OK. OK. Arrgh. Do you want to listen to some TV on the radio? Or maybe perhaps The Wall? Does Polly want a vinyl? That's great man.

Honestly dude, fuck this show dude. You need to go on the road. Dude, that's why I'm trying to get a special film soon. I gotta capture this while I still have the creativity. You gotta strike while downhill from here. Yeah I know dude. You gotta strike while the iron's fucking hot. You know what I mean? That's for god damn sure.

Can someone please show this to Michael Che? Can somebody please clip that audio and show it to Michael Che? I really want to be on a weekend update. I need to be a writer for the weekend update, like now. Like yesterday, if I'm being honest. Her name is Noel. The Weekend Suck Date. That's what a lot of women would probably call it.

Because they're so loose nowadays. Yeah, they're whores. They get their shit blown the fuck out by football jocks. Yeah. And they don't let the... Yeah. A bunch of fucking Chads. Yeah, they don't let the nerds hit. And Stacey. They don't let the nerds get up in the fucking velvet cave.

I'm a fucking incel. cave with my fucking in cell. I'm a fucking in cell. I'm a fucking in cell waste. I'm an in cell waste. Yeah, I'm a fucking I'm a fucking in cell. Am I is a is a void. Is that like a girl in cell? Is that what that is?

Fimoid. I don't know. I think that's what that means. Let me Google, Foyd slang. It's nice when a word sounds anti-Semitic in a way that you can't even describe. Foyd slang. Yeah, I mean, that one doesn't sound good. Oh, glossary of extremism and hate.

Foyd is a derogatory n-cell term for women, abbreviation of femal, which means female or female and android. I don't think it just means girls. I thought it meant girl n-cell. Or that's fem-cell. I'm dumber than a sack of river rocks so foyd is just for a girl it's like a derogatory term for women while I'm here I would like to

maybe take it would you like to go on r slash and sell and read some stuff with me is it not banned no I think it back. r slash incest confessions, much better. Let's take a look. Let's take a look. Let's take a look where people should be executed. r slash incest has been banned since 2017. Oh my god. Thomas, free use family.

OK, you're on r slash incest. Do you think it's going to be an awesome time on there? Free use family. My wife and I have recently started having conversation about becoming a free use family. We're both young when we met. I didn't know it at the time, but she was free use for her dad and brother.

She finally told me about the relationship she had with her family, and after the shock wore off, I was aroused. I alwaysoused. I always yeah I mean I don't think any of this subreddit is going to be normal stuff. I always tell her it's the reason I married her lol. She loved fucking them and I loved it as well. I got to watch and participate with her and her family after we were married and I fucked her mom too. Her mom was obviously fucking her dad and also her brother. God damn it. This is a guy making up all this while Jack. Yeah, no, for sure. Question from popularcry4794,

what if you have sex with your daughter in front of your wife and she has sex with your son in front of you? Goals right there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna take a selfie. Dude with this has negative 10 vote or down votes. I hope everyone involved in this is safe and is getting the help you need. No time for that. This is all just guys jacking off. Yeah, I free use my cousin. I'm not even going on there, but that's what I would imagine it is. It's always a good

idea to have an open and honest conversation with family when becoming free use. If you want to be a free use family, there's definitely things you need to discuss. First would be bound, I'm not reading this, but you know what I'm gonna read more of it. Very self-conscious. A couple times over the last week my brother touched my feet and I really liked it. Last night he went further and had my toes in his mouth and was using his tongue on the tops, bottom, and sides of my feet. I don't know why he likes my feet.

I'm his sister. Fuck man. God damn. I don't know about you, man, but this is fucking getting me going, dude. Just kidding. Are there any? I need to get out of here. I'm fucking up my algorithm.

Are there any in-cell channels? I used to like to go in here and read about their stuff. I mean, 4chan's gone. Is it? Or no, just 8chan maybe. 8chan's gone. r slash in-cell, where did it go? What happened to it?

I mean, I think it just got banned, I think it got it just got banned you think Yeah, yeah, it got banned. I mean because remember when all the school shooter stuff was yeah Like big in the yeah whole public eye. Yeah, I mean it will be again, but for sure yeah Yeah, it's never it's always a matter of time cyclical or whatever Yeah, I just say sickle you said cyclical You got it. Okay. I thought I said yeah School shooting seemed very sickle Yeah, well, it's all it's all one big sickle it's a big sickle Life is like one big swickel

except mighty Time is a fat circle muddy Life is like one big swivel. Except. Marty. Time is a flat circle, Marty. Time is a popsicle, Marty. I feel like I've been here before in a dream. But we're all just dreaming, Marty. Marty. Marty. But we'll just do him a moody. Moody? Moody.

This is your new partner, Mark. He just came down in from Texas. He's a real hard ass. He can be difficult to work with. Shit balls. You gonna partner me up with him? I heard things about him. I don't want to hear nothing about it, Mark.

You're gonna have to show him the ropes. Now here he is Hey What's your name? Hey My name Let's go I just called ice cold ice cold oh what's cold what rust coal let's go let's go your name is let's go mm-hmm okay well I heard you I heard you did a lot of good work down

with those narcos in Houston we'll get getting to our fairs, you boys. Time flies and you have fun. That is true. I need you guys to start catching cases post-haste. So we've got a couple kids missing. We need to go down there and ask these prostitutes some questions. How are we going to ask questions if they already passed away? What? How are we going to ask them anything if these poor girls already passed away?

You're not asking the dead girls question, let's go. You're asking the live ones questions about the dead ones. Did they do it? Did the girls do it? Well, you're the detective, so you have to, these are questions you have to ask. The twiq question. Listen here, let's.

Did the girls do it? Yes. Listen here, let's go. I'm girls do it? Yes. Listen here, let's go. I'm the detective captain here at this police. OK. That's it. Yes, the girls did it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I put women away forever. Over 75 people have been killed in that year. This makes me think there's a second killer.

Or a seventh killer. We killed six of the girls. Every time I think someone's guilty, I give them a piece of candy. And if they eat it, I kill him. Times of so-called, like a lifesaver. Listen, let's go. You got me, lifesaver.

Let's go. You can't be. You're a detective. You can't be doing this stuff, man. You got to go. You're solving crimes, not causing them. Let's go. I won't have this in my Louisiana.

What do you do? Let's go. Are you eating candy? Marty, you're going to have to get this cocksucker in line. He's killing all the prostitutes. Hand me another piece of candy. He's got six pieces of candy on the on the table yeah sir you can't do that in here you can't eat candy in here if you get the opportunity you should eat your eat you eat yourself if you get the is

Sir we've got reports suspect has eaten a piece of food I We had to throw the whole fucking case out mark halfway through the goddamn interview with the suspect he started eating candy It's not admissible in court They drive by the yellow king But he's just trying to figure out how to turn on the lawnmower. Shit! This is a fucking piece of, grain piece of shit. It won't fucking start.

Oh my fucking god, I'm going to lose my fucking job. It's a great big piece of shit. Wait, the fucking buttons is. It's a great big piece of shit. Fucking shit. Where's the fucking buttons is great big piece of shit fucking shit where's the fucking buttons for this shit this thing is a great big piece of shit and I can't stand it Texas roll how you doing I'm fucking okay what are you doing I'm

fucking okay hey listen uh you know this used to be a school. Ain't that right? Hello? Hey, could you do me a favor, man? Could you get your boot out of your mouth? This used to be a school, right? It's been a school now. Used to be a school. Right now it's just, it used to be a school. Right.

So do you know anything about people who owned it? It used to be owned by the Tuttles, right? That really scary? The Tuttles. Tuttle. Tuttle. The Tuttle family. The about.

Tuttle family. The powerful, well-connected, religious, political dynasty. The Tuttle family is... Tuttle? Tuttle... Tuttle... Tuttle... Oh, I know, Marty.

The Tuttle is like the ones with the beach. Tuttle families. Yeah, I've seen them. They're swimming in lines. Hahahaha. Well, goddamn, let's go. I feel like you and this fucking creature here are best friends made in heaven. Yeah.

Listen, man, if you could just stop sucking on your shoe laces and tell us what we need to know, we can get the fuck out of here What do you know? I'm a big question. I'm a guy who mows the lawn. Why you man me? I'm just a guy Fucking shit, I'm trying to mow fucking lawns. I get paid trying to mow this fucking grass. I go home and fuck my mom I Gotta go get raped by my dad Fucking shit, I'm fucking you Fuck I show big I gotta go fuck my mom's shit. Fucking shit, I take big pieces of shit.

I gotta fuck my sister and then I gotta fuck my grandpa. Shit, I gotta fuck my fucking ass. Shit, I gotta mow the lawn so I can eat my shit. I Check out more along second I should really like it really intense moment where fucking rust is like and this story is like most There's a monster at the end of it instead of cutting to the guy with the gas mask It just stands on a lawnmower, and he's like shit. I got most lunches. I go my fuck my dad Fucking shit, I'm not fucking my fucking sister but the fucking lawnmower is just being a great big piece of trash. The grass is gone. What am I even supposed to mow grandpa? How am I supposed to get a bowl job from mom when the fucking mowers on being a big piece of trash?

my teeth hurt My teeth fucking hurt I can't eat shit Trying to mow the fucking lawn I barked my teeth so I could bang my mom and sister Bang my family. Oh my god. On a property. And I blow up the place. What do you know about this car, Cosas, sir? Car close to me.

He said, lawn mower. Car close to me, lawn mower. Cosas one. This car is a Cosas one. Yeah, is a carcosis one. Trick question. Trick question. Carcosis means one more. Next please.

Yellow can. Yellow can. Yellow can. Yellow can. Yellow can see the sun. Okay. Listen. Hey, hey, listen.

Let's go. I think this kid's fucking retarded probably worse off than you so we're gonna need to get up on down the road hey thank you so much for your help you can go back to sucking on your shoes and fucking your sister if you want my name is Marty if you hear anything just give the police station a call okay okay cool Okay. Okay, cool. Probably gonna kill a bunch of people. Wait, what was that? You guys didn't see that. No. Probably gonna go away and kill a bunch of people.

Oh shit, shit. Oh no. I'm trying to get away with Lomo fucking stuff. I do have one trying to get away with long, over fucking starts, for shit. I do have one question, detective. Could you help me? What is it, boy?

Can you help me start this one more so I can go home and bang my mom? Uh, I don't actually cut this grass. I use this, I use this grass cutter to go home. He's getting the grass on accident. Oh, shit. No, no. Oh, this is an aerial shot of like just a dilapidated road leading up to one of the old churches, and he's just mowing a mowing a huge penis. My family's been here a long time.

I've been born and raised in Blom-time. I've been doing things for the Blom-time, detective. Detective in Blob City. Now if you excuse me detective, I have to go have sex with my grandpa. in the blood of a man that's waiting on me at home. Oh my god. Oh yeah, that's the good stuff. Thank you guys for hanging out with us. Love you. If you listen to this, please head on over to patreon.com slash pendejo time and toss us a little bit of money.

$1 a month, get you access to the Discord. A lot of great people in there. Shouts out to Nikki and D-Dog and the Licker and Fat Joe and all my great friends from the motherfucking Discord. $5 a month, get you access to the Discord. Plus a backlog of bonus episodes and a bonus episode every motherfucking week. $10 a month, get you access to the Discord, plus a backlog of bonus episodes and a bonus episode every motherfucking week. Ten bucks a month to get you access to that, a backlog of video episodes, and a video episode every week,

plus a premium video episode every week. Don't forget we have free video episodes on our YouTube. Check that out, Pendejo Time Worldwide. Please subscribe, run those numbers up so YouTube can give us some more cool stuff. If you are in San Diego, June 22, on Sunday at the American Comedy Company, I will be there with the Lemon Party Boys. And we're going to have a great time. If you came to the LA shows, thank you so much. They were a lot of fun. And I drink too much alcohol, especially on Sunday.

So thank you for coming to that one. If you are in Seattle and Portland, July 23 and 24th, respectively, I will be at Helium Portland, and I will be in Motherfucking Emerald City Comedy Club in Seattle, again, with the Lemon Party boys, opening up for their show. Tickets can be found for those shows at lemonparty.life. Let me check what else I got coming up so you can all,

I appreciate anybody that comes to the shows. You guys are great. June 20th, Austin All-Stars, thevavidarooom.com. I will be, I think I'm headlining that one, although I'm not sure, so I don't want to say for sure. And then, should we announce yet, Thomas? Or do you want to save that? Do we have ticket links?

We have ticket links for two of them, yes, but not for the other one. We can announce the two that we for sure. Yeah. OK, fuck it. Yeah, I'll post the links up. But guys, get this. If you are a Midwestern motherfucker if you are in Detroit September fuck if

you are Detroit September 27th we are at the independent comedy club it will be me Thomas JT Kelly and Max Schenker that's gonna be a fucking hell of a show I'm really excited for that we haven't been to Detroit yet weirdly enough not just saying this, people have asked us to swing through Michigan. And Flint was busy. So we will be in Detroit. The ticket link for Detroit, I think,

is going to go live tonight. But if you are wanting to get ahead of the game, we are coming back to our most beloved city, the Chicago, Illinois. We will be at the Lincoln Lodge. This time they gave us the big room, so the tickets won't sell out. So I will get those links up on the Patreon

and up front on all socials as soon as I possibly can, once we get all the links. We are trying to get a Wisconsin date. I'm not kidding. I do mean this. If you know of a nightclub or a cool spot that has chairs in Wisconsin, preferably somewhere like Milwaukee or Madison, please

DM me either on the Patreon or message me on Instagram, j-a-k-e-r-h-o-d-e-s, and a bunch of ones. Jake Rhodes and a bunch of ones. I am seriously looking for venues. I had two back out, and we are trying to do this as a full Midwestern little three-day run, similar to what we did in the Pacific Northwest. But we love the Midwest, and we do want to do Wisconsin because we do have some fans there.

And we want you guys to be able to see the show, because we're trying to hit some smaller towns that are not just the big fucking cities that we're trying to hit. We do want to do Wisconsin because we do have some fans there, and we want you guys to be able to see the show because we're trying to hit some smaller towns that are not just the big fucking cities that we always do. So if you are a Midwestern motherfucker and you are from Wisconsin or know somebody in Madison or Milwaukee that has a music venue or a stand up or something with some seats, preferably in the 50, 60, 70

range, please hit my line. Maybe I'll help you out with a finder's fee or something. And you would really help us out. And of course, if you do that and you want to come to the show, I'll spot you a ticket. Let me know. Hit me up. Thomas, you got anything to plug?

Yeah. On Monday, we're doing a free show. My friend Mark Becker is throwing it. And it's at area 140, first bar. Oh my god. Yeah. Area 140, first bar. Oh my god. Yeah area 140 first bar nice Monday at 830 We're doing a free show Let's come see me there. No need to buy tickets nice obviously because it's free, but yeah cool

Listen to drunk on cool Be nice to everybody in your life the The world's a hateful place. The bravest thing you can do is give your boys a kiss. All right, goodbye, everybody. Goodbye.