Pendejo Time - Coochie Swampy

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

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Breast. For dinner I'll have pepper breast. What? For dinner I'll have the pepper breast. He says he wants a pepper breast on two pieces of marbled rye, Italian sauces, two peppers, one chicken, drown it down and put it on the float. Sorry, we got a new guy. This is a regular. His name is Orifice the Forbidden. Hey, Orifice, how you doing? How's it down there in your portal?

Yeah, Orifice, he's kind of like a demi-spirit. You're good. Yeah, Orphus, he's kind of like a demi-spirit. He works down at the portals. He guides damn souls in and out. Every day before his shift, he's a union devil. He comes down and gets a peppered breast. Ain't that right, Orphus? You got it that way. You know, a lot of the city right now, they saying Union Devils are no good. But you know, Orphus, he's been coming

into the sandwich shop, what, two, two, three thousand years now, Orphus? Getting a peppered breast every single Sunday morning. Never, never fails before he heads off to the portals to put all the unbaptized babies, rapists and murderers to hell. Orifice, I call him Orifice the sweetheart. Everybody says forbidden, but he's nothing but nice to me.

We had to make a door for him, 35 feet tall, just to get him into the to the back of the sandwich shop We got a new kid working the sandwiches orifice. I'm sorry. He's uh he's getting your peppered breast cooked up Would you like a nice 35 cat gallon oil drum of hot blood like usual? Mmm Yeah Perfect get this get orifice to forbidden a nice hot oil drum of hot fresh blood all the way from the back the the forbidden. The sexual and evil devil what God shows. Bam.

Bam. See, that's what I tell them. Bam, and that means that the sandwich is good and the service is wonderful. So next time I'll make the sandwich orphans. Here's your sandwich. How's the portal been? Lot of evil.

In the world, I imagine you're a busy guy. So a few different pieces of people coming in. Pretty much robbers, bankers, Adam Levine. Adam Levine going through the portal. the Alright. Maroon 5, yeah. The singer from Maroon 5. I'm sorry to hear that he's going to hell. That's no good. Man, my wife, right. How's the wife, Orphus? She's gray. She's gray? That's good. I know you said she was turning blue there for a second.

At gray, I guess she advanced. She evolved from a lower devil to a higher form of devil. Mm-hmm. She was going to be gray for a long time. So she's pretty much pretty good. She's good. She's gray. She's got a promotion. Gray.

She's got great pants. She's got great pants. She's got great pants. She's got great pants. Yeah, that's good. She still eats pepper breast. Yeah, the pepper breast is right here. Yeah, here you go. Sorry, I know you got places to be. She still eats pepper breast.

She eats pepper breast too. You gotta have your breast peppered. That's what I always say. My name's not. Yeah, we have a salad table. Salter. That's what I always say. If my name's not. Yeah, if you have a salad tater, something. That's why they call me Bobby Sandwiches. Bobby Q. Chips. Bobby the Sandwicher.

That's correct. Hey, that's, you've been coming here a long time. That's very good. We serve all types of, you know, evil creatures, creatures of myth, you know. You're not the only devil that comes through here. You're not the only demig of, you know, evil creatures, creatures of myth, you know. You're not the only devil that comes through here. You're not the only demigod. Jesus comes over here sometimes.

Get's all the whole... Halal meatballs. Could you believe it? Yeah, I don't know. I don't like that. You know, like Jesus, I understand you being a demon and all. It's not... probably not. He's mean. He is mean to you guys. He does not fuck with you. I understand. Jesus, I'm sure he's mean to the demons.

But you know, you guys have kind of a symbiotic relationship. You know, I mean, he offers salvation, you guys tempt. You know what I mean? You know, he says, turn away from greed and avarice and envy and lust. You say hey those things are great, you can do them down here as much as you want. It's pretty good, it's not bad. It's okay. Are you tired of being a demon?

Yeah. You want something better for yourself. I remember you telling me you don't want little orifice to grow up and have to be a daemon I understand you know I don't want I don't want to talk like this You want to talk normal? Don't want him to talk like this. You don't want orifice. Yeah, I don't want Bobby working in the same which is either Tugging this work the rest of my life. Definitely the rest of this.

You've gotta take care of your mental orifice. A depressed demon is no good to nobody. You've gotta take care of you first. Everybody thinks that being a demon is about being mean and scary. I understands you guys, you know, you got it You got to look on the bright side of life. Yeah, you torture and rape souls forever, but you know, you got it Don't ever walk with your head down orifice. You know what I mean? You got a chin up. You know what I mean? Your son's gonna be okay. What is he, 50 billion years old now? Probably 80 feet tall.

Probably 80 feet tall. 15 million. That's great, Orphans. That's great. Anyway, hello everybody. Hello. Hello, welcome to the show. Hello, welcome to the show. Hello, welcome to the Thunderdome. The Thunderdome.

Fuck man, god damn it. It's time to play the game. I am the game, you know you wanna play me? I'm having a little game in it. Man, wrestling used to be so fucking cool. There was a guy on there named Mr. Ass. There was a cop that was called Mr. Boss Man, Big used to be so fucking cool. There was a guy on there named Mr. Ass. There was a cop that was called Mr. Boss Man. Big Bad Boss Man. Lots of cool, awesome characters.

I think there was even like a storyline where like Vince McMahon was trying to like impregnate his own daughter or something. I don't know. That guy belongs in prison for the rest of his life. It's kind of crazy that he just gets to have Netflix documentaries about him and stuff. like impregnate his own daughter or something. I don't know. That guy belongs in prison for the rest of his life. It's kind of crazy that he just gets to have Netflix documentaries about him and stuff. There's no justice in the world. And that is true.

None whatsoever. Oh my goodness. I like to think that he's probably a better guy now, though, at least. You think so? Yeah, at least we can rest easy knowing that. Uh-huh. He doesn't do anything bad anymore. You think so? You know? Yeah, at least we can rest easy knowing that.

He doesn't do anything bad anymore. He feels bad about everything so he changed his ways. Yeah, he changed his ways. I believe that. I could see that. He left WWE to become a monk, I think. Yeah. He looks awesome.

It's kind of, I think being 78 and having like that little mustache above your lip and being on steroids and walking like that is pretty fucking sick. I'm not saying that there's anybody that it would be good to be molested by, but getting molested by that guy probably no good. Probably really bad. Not probably, definitely not awesome. Anybody! I think in the world of entertainment sexual depravity is obviously something that's pretty pervasive I'm not saying that there's like a better or worse person to be assaulted by but I would imagine that a guy dressed like a ghost or like a lumberjack probably fucking sucks more than if like Brad Pitt just like grabbed your ass or something at a party

You know what I mean like that's what I'm saying. I'm not trying to place any kind of value on any of it But like you know One of those guys been like eight duts You know that sucks But like Vince McMahon brings you over to his house, and there's like a bunch of guy one of them is a wizard The other guy's just blue you know and you have to you know show your ass to those guys I think it would add a little bit of like a little bit more doom to the whole thing I'm not trying to make light of it I was thinking about this the other day

when well when I was reading about the cases that kept the Vince McMahon thing and I was like it's probably like, where my brain went. You know, obviously it was fear and anxiety. And then, you know, I felt really bad for all that. And then I was like, I would, I think if my choices were to kill myself or get molested by a guy with like a flame mask on, probably would just kill myself. You know what I mean?

I mean, if I had the choice. Well, at least then you're not brought back into that same situation in your life that often. That is true. If it's a janitor, you're scared of janitors or whatever. But if it's Hulk Hogan, well then you really just gotta avoid Hulk Hogan. Yeah, yeah. No, I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah. It's not like, oh, I can never take Spanish glets again, you know?

Yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, I, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a professional wrestler. When we had career day at school, we did this thing where I was like, what do you want to be? And I wanted to be a professional wrestler, what do you want to be?

And I wanted to be a professional wrestler really bad. I wanted to be in the NWO. I wanted to be like X-Pac or like one of the bad guys from the Attitude era, Kevin Nash or something. I don't know why. You know what I mean? When I was a kid, that was kind of like my surrogate brothers and Like father figures were guys named mr. Ass and Sean the heartbreak kid. You know the Jidah Hardy brothers

They taught me life lessons like You know back flip off ladder Throw lady downstairs blow your friend up when he's in the hospital. You know what I mean classic life lesson and I remember thinking like like oh This is like what men do is they wrestle they put on makeup and wrestle these guys are tough strong guys So I really wanted to be one of those when I was a kid

and I Would like put tables up in the living room and jump off of them onto the couch and I would like put tables up in the living room and jump off of them onto the couch. I would like wrestle with the dog and stuff. Sometimes I'd kiss the dog, because sometimes they kiss in wrestling. Right, right, like a wrestling kiss? Yeah, like a wrestling kiss. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Yeah, you don't even have to explain yourself. It's different, it's a second stage kiss. It is, yeah, yeah, there's not a lot of tongue. There's a little bit, but there's not a crazy amount. Yeah, it's a second stage kiss it is yeah, yeah, not a lot of tongue There's a little bit, but there's not a crazy Yeah, it's like how they would feel the impact, but they weren't being actually thrown right you know yeah, yeah for sure It's like you'll feel the tongue, but it's not like being pushed on your throat. It's like being lowered into your throat You're pretty uh... pretty like an ace at like insulated from that did you

did you like no wrestling like i'd heard i think i've really heard of like a whole cogan in the rock and john cina brain really i've kind of heard about from other kids yeah i never i never saw a resting so what's how i saw any clips of it it kind of uh... i did like nacho libre though So I thought luchadores were cool, and I thought sumo wrestlers were cool sumo wrestlers are badass I still think they're cool like kind of a different thing. I guess but for sure it is like

Also kind of similar because they just kind of find the biggest guys from like villages and make them hit each other the biggest guys from like villages and make them hit each other. Yeah. Make them better. They have crazy diets, man. Like like craig, like it's really silly. I remember watching one of the like it's like a like one of those YouTube, like little 20 minute things. And it was like Yoshi Ticho eats 10,000 calories of lamb fat and noodles per day.

And then it just cuts to him like and he's speaking like Japanese. And, you you know it's like I've been eating like this since I was 15 years old I can bench press 300 pounds and you know really strong and I was like damn that's probably fucking badass you know what I mean I don't think they get paid a fuckton it's probably just for the love of the game but yeah they also die pretty young yeah they do that's good. They do they do die crazy young. Yeah, it turns out It's not good for your heart to be doing all of that. Yeah whenever back to the wrestling thing, I remember I was watching the Kurt Angle documentary and

He was like, yeah, you know for 20 years I was flying like I was jumping off ladders and getting chokeslam stuff just High as fuck on oxy and i remember thinking at the time because i was all i was pretty fucked up on oxy i was like Man when i want to when i do oxycon i don't want to fucking jump off of light fixtures and fucking Deadlift and fucking choke slam guys and get fucking like sledgehammered in the head i want to fucking watch ed ed and eddy fucking Pull on my beater you know i the head. I want to fucking watch Ed Edd and Eddie fucking pull on my beater. You know what I mean? I don't want to fucking... that's a dedication to your craft. You're fucking hopped up on opiates and you're like I'm gonna fucking put people in ankle holds and shit. I thought that was pretty cool.

They showed like a side of the... and also I was stupid. I was like no those guys aren't allowed to do drugs. They're athletes. I didn't... this was before I knew like basically past 25 in professional wrestling your body is completely destroyed. Like it's worse than football or like boxing or anything. Like if you're a guy in his old age, like you're on everything all the time, just so you're not like screaming in pain or whatever. That's just sick ass fucking life. I think I sent like an email to WWE when I was like 19.

Hey, if you guys are looking for new wrestlers, just kind of let me know. Is that real? Yeah, I would email places a lot back then. Like I sent Nick Cannon a bunch of emails asking to be on Wild N Out. And I would send like rap battle, like notes app raps that I'd written and be like, Hey Nick Cannon, this is like something I wrote. If you want to read it and like think about getting back to me with regards to Wild'n Out. Just kind of let me know. I think it would be kind of a cool, like I could be like the

like the weird school shooter-y white guy that they're like, what? He has bars? I don't know why that's so funny to me, man. That's really good. I could see you on Wild N Out. I think there's maybe, if the multiverse or whatever is real, there is a universe where you're like a player on there. You're like the white guy that's got a little bit of swag. I'm like the Matt Rife or whatever. Yeah, but like Matt Rife, no, no, no. You're not the white guy that's got a little bit of swag and like a panache. I'm like the Matt Rife or whatever.

Yeah, but like Matt Rife, like, no, no, no. You're not the Matt Rife. Like they have a Matt Rife and you beef with him because you're the other white dude, but you're more like, authentic. You know what I mean? I'm like black dude who works at a warehouse. Yes, yeah, but you're the white guy. Yeah, I'm like no flash. I'm just a regular black white guy.

And you have like an ongoing really hardcore beef with the Matt rife because he's very funny, too But he represents like a he represents it like a like a type of showoff swag like okay, Thomas white 19 years old wild and out you've got Tim's on your warehouse worker dickies and then the big white t-shirts that you can get at the gas station and you've got that you've got the The Swagged out white boy ponytail not the I you know I'm talking about not the IT ponytail but the guy like the cool the cool kind of real high and top ponytail and

You know, you're saying stuff like yeah, you know me personally like I don't need to do push-ups to get pussy and everybody kind of goes because they know you're talking about you know what I mean they know you're talking about Matt they know you're talking about Matt and you know I mean he's like well you know at least I got I don't wear the same shorts every day and they're like, oh, all right. I say, I got these from my cousin's house. Oh. He says, what do you mean you got them from your cousin's house? And people go, yeah. What do you mean?

And I go, I left some shorts in my cousin's house when I came back that were gone, so I took these shorts the same size. I figure my cousin probably has other ones He's dead He's dead You can't take it with you by it. I mean my shorts give him back Yeah, they buried my cousin in my shorts cuz they knew they were nicer than his the crowds like yo they buried his ass They buried that motherfucker they're not even rapping

they're talking they're talking normal this sucks this sucks yeah Nick like breaks out hey hey hey hey hey simmer down hey hey hey. My favorite color basketball shorts is black and green. Um. Black and green! Black and green, black and green, black and green. That's awesome. Yeah, I could have seen that for you, man. It just didn't work out. I think I, uh... Honestly, it's crazy to think about like a lot of things haven't worked out for me

Yeah, I love saying shit like that. Yeah, I know it's me honestly like how have I been Not good, dude things aren't working out. I don't think Real bad, man. It's just like... There's actually a few things I was hoping that would have happened by now and they haven't. Acting like I'm the only person disappointed with my life in any way. Honestly bro, I think I'm done with the music shit. Yeah.

And my friends from high school are like, the music shit? Yeah, like I feel like any hope that I was going to be like living off music is pretty much gone. And I go, were you in a band or something? No, I never joined one. So I think it's probably too late. Wasn't rapping either really? Was a rap band.

Didn't really stick to any instruments. So I don't think I'll ever be a musician. instruments so I don't think I'll ever be a musician. They have like they like just had a miscarriage or something and then oh yeah that seems like a problem as well. Yeah. Your music career. It's crazy the problems that people have. It seems so horrible. Yeah. Makes me feel good that nothing bad has ever happened to me. Yeah. I remember every bad thing that ever happened to me

in my whole life, which is probably really annoying. But I can only remember with other people's lives, like coworkers and stuff. Yeah. I remember every bad thing that ever happened to them in case I could ever bring it up after they leave. I could tell people yeah Yo, he actually confided in me that he got molested

Uh-huh, so if he ever comes back to work here like don't bring it up I told you But he said it was by a Reindeer Like he was on the Santa has but he said a reindeer did it. He said it was Ruffle, the reindeer. Ruffle did it? Yep.

So is he like a, I don't remember him in the song. I see he was in a song. He's a different reindeer. He just didn't make the cut? He uses a reindeer named Ruffle. Oh, okay. He's either a reindeer or like a guy in his 40s. I can't remember.

It's real hard to mix that type of shit up. Reindeer or apartment maintenance guy. They're not either one of those. Yeah. No, I do try and remember, you know, things that happen in other people's lives. I can bring it up later. Oh, is that like when that happened to you and it's something else from your life? Just a little tip for making friends.

Yeah, I'm not. I think like I was more like conversational. I have friends, man. I feel like like like my friends that I friends that I've had for a long time, any friend I've made after 26, 25, 26, I don't know anything about. I really don't know anything about them. You know what I mean?

We've been friends a long time. Sometimes we chat about our lives. Somebody's like, oh, Thomas. I'm like, I don't know I think maybe his dad was like a preacher or something Like that. No, I and I think that's I don't know if that's like a guy thing I've heard the cliche that it's like a guy thing or whatever. You know, you just don't ask about your boys lives What the fuck do I need to know, you know? No, honestly one tip for remembering anything about people's lives just think about it while you masturbate. Oh

Yeah See one tip for remembering anything about people's lives just think about it while you masturbate. Oh Yeah Just look at an index card with other information and just be stroke your ish to it stroke my ish off Yeah, one of my favorite things to do stroke my ish Yeah, your issues your issues been like way better lately thanks man yeah I've been we're I've been working on trying to get it stretched out dude my coach saw my ish the other day oh yeah he benched me because of my ish boy get that ish back in them jeans hit Hit the fucking bench now. While you're training here, your girlfriend's with Jody sucking his ish. We way down your wife's throat.

Can I get a hell yeah. Hell yeah. I like that. I'm a horrible cock sergeant. I'm a horrible fucking piece of shit cock. Oh, man. Right. Whenever I was playing T-ball, it was pretty common for the coaches. Like eight years old and I guess it I guess it was machine pitch by then or whatever that coach would

I don't want to say this is exclusive to Texas, but in my experience there were coaches in some leagues That were way way way way too serious to the kids Like I played outfield a lot or I played first base. And whenever I played outfield I would get like super distracted. And I'm not even kidding man, sometimes I would just pick at like the lint on my baseball short, baseball pants. Or I would like pick the grass or whatever. And then I would like, you know, ball would like, people would like snap back into it, I could focus, whatever whatever the fuck and then I'll go back to the dugout and the coach back Are you out there? Yeah, they're playing with your pecker. I see you out there lots on yet. They're fucking yeah, dude shit

My swear fucking dick in your hand just fucking 300 pounds like Fucking grizzly wintergreen flying all over the face hitting in the head. There'd be an eight just being like I don't think I was out there playing my pecker at all. I barely what my pecker is I pee from it. I don't fucking know how it works I haven't quite figured that out yet That's gonna come later But I feel like you should not be your 40 and you're fatter than the fucking day is long And you shouldn't be yelling at an eight-year-old boy that he's out there quote-unquote playing with his fucking pecker It's a Thursday game. This is fall ball sir. There ain't no money

in this shit. I think my mom put a $50 deposit down for the cleats. That's about it. I know you played baseball too. There's a certain type of southern coach that's just like, the way he chastises the players is like, yeah throw your balls yeah you're fucking dick and your goddamn hand might as well be pulling on it might as well be making it come you know what I mean or there's a there's a Christian dad to the Christian dad or stepdad who does not give a fuck if you guys win or lose oh yeah all right I'll be safe out there all right we're gonna make we're gonna play a good clean game. And I just, I wanna see y'all have fun, but be safe and be respectful all times.

Yeah. And you know, don't forget to run that ball and, you know, keep your eye on it. Yeah. And look, if y'all have any questions about baseball, let me know, but I think we're all pretty, pretty set up for this game. Yeah.

What are you guys, seven, seven, eight years old? Yeah, y'all know. You guys seven or eight, look. Don't be out there blowing each other. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Wait, sorry, sorry. Sorry, I coached the teenagers and I coached the kids. That was out of line. That was out of line, what I just said. I, sorry. Sorry. I coached I coached the teenagers and I coached the kids.

That was out of line. That was out of line what I just said. I don't want you put, I don't want you eating the ball with your ass and spitting it out, okay? You pieces of shit. Oh, oh, that was, that crossed a line. What I just said crossed a line, I want to sneak back over that line and say that your guys are going to make your parents proud today. We are, look, pardon my French, we're going to take this team, pull down their baseball pants and fuck them doggy style out on the field. With raw, with no lubricant.

That's what we're doing here today. So it's you guys are doing to these other kids and me and everybody else. We're not going to. We will look away when that happens. I want to make that clear that I will be off the field when that occurs and I'll be throwing up behind the dugout. I hate it. What I just said, I really don't like that. To me that crossed the line.

It's disgusting to me. I don't like it at all. I can't stand it. You know one of the things I do like one of the things kids that we I'm gonna need you guys to understand we win this game is it with everybody needs to we need to we need to be making sure that we're giving money to Israel. But when you guys go out there and you have sex with the other team, make sure after that when we get the trophy that you convert the cash and we give that money to Israel.

Coach Thomas, you got anything you wanna say before we get this game started? I just wanna say I've been going through a lot lately and I've got a lot riding on this game. And if my wife Raven sees that this game goes well for me I feel like I've got a good chance of winning her back in my home and and and she's got her new computer teacher job now at the school she had to leave the university because she got she she was she tried to have sex with the one of her professors

So she did lose her teaching job there. She lost her teaching job there, but she's teaching tech Class to now at the school and and her breasts have gotten bigger Which I'm very sad about because we are no longer having sex we We're no longer having sex. I worry that she may be pregnant. The kids are sitting there like playing with their thumbs. Like kicking the dirt. If any of y'all knows whether my ex-wife is pregnant, it would go a long way if I could find that out tonight. I will let you have first bat.

I will let you, if one of you boys can maybe walk around a dugout and get close to the bleachers and if you could hear, because Raven's right there, right behind where the catcher in blue is, if you could find out if that tall brown fella that she's sitting next to,

if you could find out that if he impregnated her, that would, I would let, I will move the bat and order around, you get to have first bat If you want to be DH There is your chance, and I'll say this up front and I'll let you guys know What's on the line tonight because You know it's not really about me at the end of the day. It's about you guys. Yeah, and what it's also about is

The fact that my parole officer is here. Yeah, yeah. And if you guys fuck this up tonight, it's for everybody, and I get mad, guess who's going back to jail for having an eight ball in his car? That's Coach Tom. Big old Coach Thomas right here.

And if you want them to go through my old Cadillac My North star v8 ain't gonna make it past 80,000 miles, you know what I mean? Yeah, you want them looking through my Cadillac and finding that booger sugar and feel free to try and bunt With two fouls. All right? You bunt with two fouls on the line and I'm going to put a baseball bat, it might be the junior bat, who knows?

I'm gonna put it clean through your fucking head. And I'm going to wait forever if that happens. I'm gonna be one of the first men to soberly kill himself with a baseball bat if you fuck this up for me. And that's just me heart to heart with you. I'm being honest. I've sent this up to our man upstairs, Lord Jesus Christ, already that tonight will be my last night alive. If you do not win. If you do not win. And I need you to win by a lot the the piece your Marlins

Are not ball piece your mom Marlins Yeah are not historically a team that gives up. We're not historically Givers up or losers. We're traditionally a winning team ever since a few years ago when my son We're traditionally a winning team ever since a few years ago when my son Decided he wanted to play baseball and try and stop being such a fairy You know and I take this real seriously Because I do know it's one of the only things keeping my son straight

And on the path that I've set out for him Which is not to be a roadie for Celine Dion or whatever yeah path the devil has set for him but it's to be in a very sexually neutral space which is a little boys baseball dugout I won place with zero underlined tension yeah and basically so I put him in a matching outfit with a bunch of other boys With the whitest tightest pants that you can get for a boy And I said, you know what you're gonna hang out with these 20 guys a lot a lot I'm gonna take you out to eat with these boys and You better just not feel a damn thing

to eat with these boys and you better just not feel a damn thing. That's what you better feel. We got – I want to introduce you guys to your new pitching coach. He came all the way here from Ole Miss. His name is Toucher the Strangler. He's a great pitcher. He was – he pitched for the Rangers for 10 years. And then he, you know, moved into coaching. He was at pitched for the Rangers for ten years And then he you know moved into coach and he was at Ole Miss and he he decided he came all the way down here Pacer, Texas to teach you guys how to throw a mean knuckleball how to really get your fastballs locked in tight so yeah touch her the strangler go on ahead and

And really break down for the kids how you throw a perfect fastball Hey guys me touch her and I just want to thank y'all for being here because in a few years I'm going to die in a motorcycle accident. So you know one of the first things you want to know about baseball is the shape. And if one of y'all has a note pad or something feel free to write this down. A baseball is the roundest shape a ball can get. With the, excluding the lines. The lines or ridges are bulging out of the baseball. Like a vein. Like the vein on, I hate to even say this,

like the vein on probably, most of you kids probably have hemorrhoids veins on you kids is hemorrhoids And Yeah, yeah, so when you throw you throw a straight forward who gives a fuck you know what I mean I mean, what are you gonna do? I used to take a, and I used to cheat a lot. Sometimes I would bring a metal ball. So it would hurt real bad when they hit it.

Only problem with that is I warn you guys, it hurts a lot to throw. Hurts a lot to throw a metal ball, so don't do it. A paper ball, really, you actually have to throw it way harder to get it over there, so watch out with the paper ball, too. Oh, no. But yeah, did you guys have a particular type of something you wanted to learn from me? Because I really got to die on a motorcycle wreck soon.

I think we're good, Detcher. Thank you. Thank you, Thatcher. Thank you. Thank you, Thatcher. I'll need a few volunteers to come back with me. Uh, I think we're okay, Thatcher. Bye! Alright, there you go. You can go grab a few. You can put you in the cooler. Come on.

We got a few cold ones for the way home. I got a cooler the size of a boy. Yup. Oh. Oh, man. I got fifteen Coors Banquets and a boy for dinner. Oh man. Dude, I was thinking I was out running around over there by the lake and I think it's got to be so awesome to be like Just a big red belly like Michelob drinking

Guy with the hat that has the the golf hat that has the hair that comes out of you know I'm talking about it's got like the the hair that comes out of top of the hat looks like a wig and You just drinking the Michelob out of the aluminum bottle man, and you're listening to fucking toes in the water Ass in the water as in the sand you go to your son's tea bugging your wife she's drinking fucking to truly out of a fucking tumbler that says mom juice and it's in the wedding font she's so fucking fat and red too and you guys are fucking racist as shit man you've never felt bad about anything in your fucking life you don't feel bad about anything you don't have any it's not even like things that you've done you just don't nothing and nothing

about the world bothers you it seems like the best possible life like south carolina or like north texas dad with a huge belly fucking hey dudes on you know sunburned to fuck shitty ass mustache shit blood at least once a month, it's not a big deal, you're in perfect health otherwise. Going to your son's t-ball game, he fucking strikes out every time, you don't care, you don't give a fuck dude. You bought a house in 2007, you bought a house in Frisco, Texas in 2007 and it was worth $200,000 and now it's worth $2 million.

Your wife is so red and so fat, and her titties are like flat but also big at the same time. What kind of song is that? It's a rice cooker. Oh, okay. It says here is rice and here it is. Eat a piece of rice. Okay. And with that rice have a piece of soy sauce and it is sushi with

a white piece of rice with a brown piece of rice everybody bites to have a piece of rice and it is now ready for rice come and eat your meal oh okay it seems that's what it stands for oh this is not the tune but it stands for okay that's fine that's good that was a old McDonald's at a farm is what I was singing okay that's a parody of food related parody rather than an agricultural riff mmm okay understood. Yeah Understood oh Baby, oh, what if it was old McDonald ahead of parm? Okay, Chi Chi Chi in

And on that bread he had some sauce it was very red With some mozzarella cheese and a parmesan cheese chicken and some bread and the sauce it's very red and when you eat it it tastes so good chicken parmesan yeah like that Jake that was fucking perfect thank you man, I really appreciate that. This old man, he ate bread. He ate bread he got from the store. Was it rye, was it marble, or was it something wheat? When you eat it, it tastes like food.

Yes. Thanks man. yes thanks man yeah the the the cheesy wheezy nachos they had delicious bite jalapenos made a spicy fright there is a bean that rests upon the top. The cheesy, weasy nacho, please don't ever stop. Perfect. I forgot how the song ended. That's OK. That's not a big deal.

Let's see here. What's another great song? The meals that I buy go, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. The meals that I chew, I go, mm, mm, mm. Sometimes it's lunch. What do you think about that one? That was good. Wow. That was awesome. Eating birthday birthday cake food eating birthday food cake sprinkles ice cream happy

and eating s'mores and several cheeses Gotta love a cheesy s'more. I don't like s'mores man nasty I like them you do I don't fuck with marshmallows have you ever tried the way I grew up making them It was like you would roast some marshmallow And then you would do like a couple squares of chocolate and then like two graham crackers did you ever try it like that? No, no, no, I had a completely different way

Yeah, I figured yeah Jake he grew up so rich he would have it on brioche Yeah, yeah Marshmallow sweet bread that poor people can't afford it's marshmallow people have never eaten brioche Never do they don't get to again. They're not three dollars at Walmart get to again they're not three dollars at Walmart. Are eggs even expensive? I don't even fucking know anymore I don't buy eggs. They kind of stabilize so it's fine. That's good. I wonder how many... I think the bird flu did fuck up a lot of stuff though. Yeah well we've got to keep arresting people for not liking pork like I'm still not eating that many eggs though because they're

still kind of I like eggs but I've been on an overnight oats cake for breakfast nice my Ashley really likes that shit I don't fuck it. I think it's a texture thing. I also don't like breakfast. Not really, I don't like breakfast. Uh, I- whenever I eat I get sick. And that's just kinda any part of the day. So if I eat something in the morning I'm pretty much fucked up. Uh, I think maybe my stomach is like, kind of in a position as I get older where like maybe I just need to get fed by a tube or something. Like I just need to get like intravanously, like my sustenance through vitamins and where I'm just not eating anything

because it's just yeah it's just always bad but who gives a fuck about my stupid ass life who cares yeah they got a different have you seen the new um they've got a bunch of new like right-wing Like Protest clubs and that is they're all under the banner of old glory club There's one in your neck of the woods. I want to read you the names of these fucking things Oh awesome. Yeah, it's called old glory club, but the chapter that I wanted to Old glory club. They're called like the Prairie... It's all gay, so the Vetus Dominion, that's for Virginia.

The Magnolia League, these are all guys who wanna do like race war and stuff, but they do it in a classy way, so they have like secret societies. And I guess you can email them at their proton and you can join them. Ooh, James Oglethorpe That's for Atlanta the Cascade frontier for Oregon the Blackland Prairie Raiders. That's North Texas's Old Glory Club Standard Bears in the cities of Pegasus and Cowtown so basically it's like right-wing

Militias, but they give each other like Cool names like the Blackland Prairie Raiders and I guess their whole thing is they like do jiu-jitsu together and they lift weights and they wait for the race war to happen. I don't know what they're waiting for. I mean I don't want them to do it but they probably could just do it. Anyway, I think I'm going to start I'm gonna start my own. Not a right-wing club. What do you think you'll call it? The sexy black motherfuckers. Probably, you know, I want to throw people off. I want to throw the FBI off. I really like that, the sexy

black motherfuckers. Yeah. I like that. Thanks, man. I think if I was gonna start like a hate group, that's what I would call it. because when you hear the sexy black motherfuckers. You don't think a Racially motivated honestly think about sexy black guys right exactly you don't think yeah Yeah, me too. Yeah, that's what I was thinking so you know you have with the patriot back Yeah, it's patriot front proud boys sexy black motherfuckers. You know I mean I like say cuz that's gonna chill too and then if you're directing Sexy black motherfuckers, you know what I mean? I like that, because that's kind of chill too. And then if you're directing racist hate toward yourself and you're kind of being bait, so you're kind of helping,

you're serving as a decoy for black people, you know what I mean? So then you get attacked or whatever. Right, yeah. And there's white on white crime, and that's good. Yes, it is. White on white crime, and that's good. Yes. It is white on white crime is good Yes, I agree because it lowers us It helps out other races. Yes 100%

Yeah, well also too like you know It just rolls off the tongue. I don't like the Patriot front. I don't like the boogaloo boys You know what I mean imagine you're like watching the news you know During the or during the Portland riots Antifa clashed with the sexy black motherfuckers. You know I mean like that sound it's got like a cool sound to it. You know I mean It would just be me probably I don't think I would probably be able to recruit many people with a name like that But if I lived closer, I would do it, but I'll probably have to do my own. What would yours in New York be called?

Candles in the Wind. We're on the ground here at the Portland Riots. It seems that Black Block and Candles in the Wind have engaged in an unarmed skirmish. The self-proclaimed leader of Candles in the wind have engaged in an unarmed skirmish. Where the self-proclaimed leader of candles in the wind, Thomas White, is here. Care to explain why you're engaging in these protests and why you choose to to violently fight with Antifa and BlackBlock?

To be completely honest, I did not think it through much before engaging this warfare. And I feel very bad about the whole thing I don't fully understand what it what Antifa does or why they're against me I don't feel strongly about politics I feel like I've been hurt a lot by things that have been said about me right right right and I've said nothing negative about Antifa I don't know what that is. Uh-huh. I thought if we were allies I Think we may all be on the same side, and I I'd like to surrender I'd like to give up I'd like to lay the lives of all my soldiers down on the line

and if we are executed that's then I surrender. And my only wish is that if all my men are killed, that I be killed as well. All my guys are behind me like, what the fuck? This guy went? What are you talking about, man? We could be good double agents for the white militia the white movement militia

You know what I mean? I would show up. I would do though I would do the legwork You know what I mean? I would have to say and do whatever to start a chapter of you know the Texas white coalition And then the first fucking time we're out there, and we're scrapping with a bunch of fucking I don't know big city communists I just I get my air horn. I got my fucking white mask on and my goddamn dockers, and I'm like Hey guys, just want to let you know I'm land I'm laying down you guys can come over here and beat the fuck out of my boys Okay, you can beat the fuck out of me you can die you guys can do whatever the fuck you want to our bones and bodies

You can do absolutely anything to especially these guys I understand you guys you know the big dog on campus You want to come over here and tug my balls and poke my eyes out fucking to go my shit That sounds great, but these guys back here. You can take them to fucking tasks You can do the fuck you want with them you can turn them out like a goddamn doorknob I I hear by surrender every man woman and child in this city to your will You may pillage us You can do whatever you want to anybody

I'm just here to take land. I'm here to take the census man. How many people live in your house? He's four to six hundred depending on At least four to six hundred depending on The words is a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn you got four guys in here. Yes. We're 400 strong in our minds Your candles in the wind oh You guys like a weather underground type deal. You know what I mean like is that like a Bob Dylan lyric or something? No, he's never had a lyric like that.

He's never said anything like with candles or anything in the wind. Candles in the wind. Bob Dylan has never said the word candle in his career. He's never said in the wind in his career either. Was he getting a lot of pussy? You think? Absolutely. You think so? 100%.

You think he was getting a lot of pussy? I think 100% he was. Well cause like I see old pictures of him and I'm like, I mean, you know, I think he was fucking Joan Baez, but I'm like was he getting other types? Absolutely. Yeah, that's crazy. He was fucking a lot probably. He was very famous. Yeah other types absolutely yeah, that's fucking a lot probably He's very famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I guess that kind of goes without saying Cuz like there are some guys that are really famous But I don't know if they were getting a lot of pussy like Woody Allen I don't know if he was getting a lot of pussy was absolutely getting a lot of pussy you think so 100% You think he was 100% yes Okay, Jesus Christ. I just I don't know he seems like maybe a guy that was famous, but didn't get a lot of pussy I think he I don't know I think he kind of has a certain had a certain character, but like Quentin Tarantino seems like a guy Just very famous very good at what he does

Probably he did something about him doesn't seem like he was able to use that Quentin and Juno seems like he gives a lot of sex workers Very good from him. Yeah, that's a good point like he doesn't he wouldn't he doesn't need to Because he's famous and has a lot of money my crewman I would see him as a guy who just has a bunch of coke around all the time Yeah, he has like a rotation or whatever except now now he lives in Tel Aviv so I guess he's doing his thing over there. Probably not the same situation.

Um... Anyway. I guess it's... yeah. Anyway. Um... No, I think most... every comedian for the most part, it's the only point of being funny. Is to get pussy?

Yeah. Nothing else matters. That's why me and you do it. I don't care about entertaining these people. No, you get funny to make up for other parts of you that suck ass. Yeah, that's true, for sure. And it's just how you have to become better socially. It's easier to, what am I going to, act like I was a star quarterback or something?

I can't do that, so you know, I have to do this. I wonder if there was a guy that or something i can't do that so you know you know this or if there was a guy that was famous but like just for whatever reason maybe you so socially shitty here he just couldn't couldn't leverage it into like having cool things definitely guys who just had a wife or whatever and never like like i settled down early you know it seems like just kind of a sexless,

very famous figure to me is The Rock. Not to say the before, when he was like wrestling, maybe. But now, everything about him, he seems like a corporation. Like he doesn't- I think from what I've heard, it's because he's gay. Oh, so you know why I- Yeah, okay. But he's such a brand that he He actually has to be closeted, but he's so closeted that

he Did it you know? That is just there's just something off about him. Right. That's what I've, people have said, um, and if that's the case I do feel bad for him obviously. And also I'm not trying to be like, oh, you know, there's, there's been like viral rumors about it before, but. I've heard that about John Jones too. That it's like, the reason he's like that is just he's gay and he can't do anything about it before but I've heard that about John Jones too that it's like there's the reason he's like that It's just he's gay and he can't do anything about it like he can't it's

He's the best fighter of all time in a sport. That's like overwhelmingly like right-wing and masculine or whatever the fuck and he's just profoundly gay Dude, he's also he also is right-wing like yes. Yeah, no is like yeah. Yeah, he doesn't he definitely doesn't want to be gay I don't know much about John Jones honestly like personality wise other than like he sucks ass needs amazing Yeah, it's very frustrating when I hate when a fighter is really good It just sucks. Do you like it's like coral Malone? Yeah? Yeah, you know it's like okay, I Don't when Sean Strickland was having that run. I was like damn. I can't you know what I mean like he's you suck So bad, you're so dumb. You're so stupid, but like you're so fucking good at fighting. It was really pisses me off Dude one of my favorite videos recent John Jones videos. He's in Thailand on vacation

This is when he retired and he's on the back of a moped There's a little moped and driving the moped is a little Thai Guy and with like a jacket on and sunglasses and John is fucking drunk as a day is long And John gets on the back of the moped and it looks so funny because John's too big for the moped He's a big motherfucker and the guy's got like shoulder, not like shoulder length, I guess like ear length hair and John gets two fucking big handfuls of the guy's hair and he just grits his teeth and he's like, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was like that's so sick, that's so like that's that's something that like a gay celebrity would moped. I was like, that's so sick. That's so, like that's something that like a gay celebrity would do.

And you'd be like, oh he's just acting. That makes sense because he's a gay guy. But it's John Jones, you know. So he's, you know, he'd kill everybody in the world if he wanted to. Probably not in the world. I think I could kill him with like an A-10 Warthog or something. Or like a machine gun or a bomb or like a cannon or something Yeah, a lady could do it with a silent treatment

Yeah Cinnamon sugar cinnamon sugar sweet dick dog, baby. Oh, yeah It's like a southern comedian like a blue-collar comedy tour type guy Sweet dick dog if that ain't real I ain't sucking that dog's dick ain't that right? Crap, yeah. Oh, yeah, if that ain't real the my the my coochie ain't swampy It's like a huge black guy My name is coochie swampy My name is Gucci Swampy. Gucci Swampy the comedian.

We got a 650 pound black dude from Atlanta. I'm sorry, I've got an appointment for Mr. The comedian. I just call him a Gucci Swampy. Hey dude, I know we told you that we were gonna let you do 10 tonight I'm real sorry, but It's the nature of the business man, we got somebody in the night and we got a big crowd so we can't let you close it's It's coochie swampy the comedian. I know I know I know I'm sorry It's just you know, he's he's so good and people really want to see him

So maybe hey, but look hang out in the green room. I hear Coochie Swampy is like real nice to features. You know what I mean? Maybe you shoot the shit with him. Maybe take you on the road. He's real nice. He can be real nice. Just look at him. He's going up right now. Yeah, well the other day I had a bitch in my house.

Yeah. We see her head on a dress. And she tried to take it off. I said, put the dress back on. She said, why? I said, because you're coochie swampy. And it was a green dress. Wow, that was, wow, he's killing. He's crushing, dude.

I told you, he's really good. If you stick around, you got to wait for the closer. The closer's the best one. He's such a good comedian. I know. Coochie Swampy is so good. You got to wait for the closer, man. I'm sorry.

Just wait. Yeah. Koochie Swampy is so good. You gotta wait for the closing, man. I'm sorry. Just wait. Just, yeah. Yeah, and so I told that bitch, she start slapping me like that, I'm gonna hit the fuck out of her. And she said, how come you won't hit me from the back, but you hit me from the front? I said, girl, cause you cooch this wild pear? I told you, how did he do it? He's really good. He seems like a misogynist.

Yeah, he's really fat and he's super fat and black, which isn't a big deal. Isn't that about hitting a lady? Yeah, yeah. So a lot of his jokes are about how women are dog people, you know what I mean and He wears like a cabbie hat. That's too small, and he's a very respected guy in the scene Nobody knows why? But he's a seems like a bad man Two jokes I heard surprised at the vulgarity Seems so flippin about domestic abuse and he's beating this woman that apparently he doesn't

even like what a sexual relationship with you wonder how she Why he's has her in his life what benefit he's getting out of it And why did he make his the punchline his last name? Why is his tagline Coochie Swampy because he's saying Coochie Swampy is a bad thing, but he made his name his name is Coochie Swampy I know I don't know man. He headlines the beacon all the time. He's in Madison Square Garden people absolutely go crazy for him It's just what's hot right now being a 650 pound black guy who beats women is crazy popular Dude, you should see him on kill tony. He's got a great minute for kill tony, and he's really close with those guys

Actually you know what oh here he goes he's about he's about to do his his minute. He just Everybody My name could just wantampy the comedian. And you know why they call me that? Why? They call me that. Katie girl came over the other day. And she put, I was turning around, I was in the bathroom,

she put her, she called me over, she said, dinner ready. And I said, mmm, that smell good. I look over and I just come out of the bathroom and she on the table, dining room table with her legs spread. I said, girl, I thought you had salmone on the table. I was ready for a salmone dinner. And she said, what? How come? Why? I said, girl, because you know why. It's

because you're, uh, you're koochie-stanky. Yeah. You're koochie-swampy. Yep. That's why. I told you. I told you. he's just so fucking good, man. He's just it's incredible. Do salmon live in a swamp? No, they don't. But that's how good he is. You know what I mean? It's just it's it's just it's great.

They're still going. I mean, I have no idea. Impressive. I don't know, man. I we look we try to get him in shape because when he goes, streaks are from Tony Anshkul. It's really impressive. I don't know, man. We try to get him in shape. All those shrieks are from Tony Anshkul. Yeah, I know. We try to get him on the road, and he fucking dies every time he gets on the bus. He's died 15, 16 times this tour.

That's really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Thank you guys so much for coming out to the Chuckle Hut here in beautiful Delaware. Thank you. Thank you so much. Coochie Swampy for what?

Coochie, if you don't mind a little Q&A, what brings you to Delaware? Well, I came in Delaware because I had a bitch out here. Yeah. Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. And she, well, she was from Baltimore. Baltimore, Delaware. Okay, okay. And I went over to her house one time, and she spray her lips, I put some Obey on it. She said, how come you put some Obey

on my kitty? How come you put some Obey on my kitty? I said, girl, man, I said, bitch, get your coochies from me. And I had to say, you know, yeah, anyway. Well, I appreciate you coming by, cooch. Thanks for Swim by Club. No problem anyway. Well, I appreciate you coming by, Cooch. Thanks for Swim Swim by Club. No problem. Excuse me, Mr. Coochie. If you have any advice for a upcoming comedian, my name's Timmy Pussy.

And I changed my name like you did, Coochie. But I wanted to be different. Any advice on how to become a big, big angry fat black guy that hates women too. Yeah, you're telling me you're a timid pussy? Yeah, a timid pussy. I like that, I like that a lot. You got gumption. Thanks.

All right, you want to be a big black guy, angry as hell, hates women and all that. Beat up ladies. Hangs out with Matt Walsh, hangs out with Ben Shapiro. Yeah, that's crazy. You know what I mean? Be a racist black guy. Guy who keeps, I keep fried fish under my hat. You gotta be a racist black guy.

That's how you gotta stand. Yeah, I'm a racist black guy. Sort of like an eight ball. Uh. My advice to you, I guess, would be probably is get you a bitch that makes sure she's skinny, cause if she fat, you gotta get her dinner every few minutes, it seems like. So, and then every time she try to talk to you, you say, shut up, and you make,

and then you put lipstick on, you kiss her, make her wear it. All right, well that's it. And if you want, and that should be all you need to know. Put lipstick on, make her kiss a girl. And lipstick come off. You know you can put makeup on your face, or rub it against a girl and make her look beautiful.

Thank you so much, Kusher. And always keep some honey in your front pocket of your shirt so you can dip french fries in there. I saw a picture of you fishing with Matt Walsh today. Oh, well, yeah, I suppose. I suppose that was me. Here's the thing, we were going fishing for bitches. He caught him some, it didn't look like what I wanted. I wanted me a wife.

Yeah, man, why was so funny? his wife came over, he said, he said, girl, you best get out of here. She said, why, man? Why I serve you in every way? He said, because you're Gucci Swampy. And he shot her with an arrow. He a freak. And then we 69. Anyway, fuck Gucci Swampy.. Hey piece shit. All right. I think you guys were listening

Please please please please please Listen to the rest of this Go to patreon.com slash pendejo time the first post up there if you are in Milwaukee, Chicago or Detroit September 25th 26 and 27th Please come see me and Thomas alive We'll be at Milwaukee at a morphic brewery or morphic beer On Thursday September 25th on the 26th of Friday. We will be at Lincoln Lodge in the big room So get those fucking tickets. They're going really fast. I'm not kidding I like I've been watching them every day like there's or there were like we got the 120 cedar. I

Think maybe like half are left so Not a crazy amount of urgency, but please get tickets. I'm sure they'll probably be sold out in the next few weeks And then Detroit at the independent comedy room, please get tickets to go see us. That would be awesome and Then July 18th if you're at the green room at mr. Nice guys if you're in Austin July 18th come see me at Yeah, mr. Nice guys the green room. I think that's a Friday Doing stand-up. I'm featuring for very very very very funny gentleman by the name Martin Phillips he's very funny. Please come see that show. Tickets are at MrNiceGuysATX on Instagram.

And if you are in Seattle or Portland July 23rd or 24th to 25th, please go to lemonparty.life. I will be opening up for the boys once more for these two shows. Go to Lemon Party That Life and get those tickets. Seattle at Emerald City Comedy and Portland at Helium Portland. Alright, thank you. Thomas? I'm all set. Alright, beautiful. Thank you guys for listening. Go to Patreon.com slash from day time too if you just want to sub to the show. I know you guys are a lot of free listeners. We get a crazy amount of free listeners.

If you want to be a real big boss motherfucker $5 a month toss some cheese $10 a month gets you access to all the video stuff like we talked about Follow us on Instagram Padajo time worldwide follow me on Instagram Jake Rhodes one one one one one one And yeah, that'll do it alright. Peace. Peace