Pendejo Time - creamer

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

I see a coffee and I hate to drink it black. I use my creamer to turn it to brown not black Support the Show.

Yay. And I came down, pulled up, ate food, and drank drunk. You were singing this song before, weren't you? Yeah, I was singing something about being a creamer and being a cream monster. Let's see. Fell in love with a creamer, something like that. Oh yeah.

She's coffee, I'm mug and it's yummy. She's French vanilla, I'm in love with a creamer. Creamer, yeah. I'm powdered, she's creamy. She's oatmeal I'm cheap. She's expensive. She's fancy I'm in love with her cream. She's half. I'm half or half and half She's cake. I'm caramel. She's tasty She's not make she's yummy. I'm in love with a creamer.

A creamer. Yeah, yeah. Your way too creamy girl, I put you in my drink, you aren't the powdered stuff, powdered stuff. And she's a really nice oat milk creamer you can get from Whole Foods That's like yeah that foams up good cuz today. I just don't I don't feel like drinking black coffee It'd be a song, but how he wants it right of course yeah Yeah, absolutely man fuck yeah

See cream Cream town drink you up cream Hey stop drink a sip it drinking sip it Where's my cup put some coffee in it? Creamer all in my cup creamer all in my mug creamer all in my tumbler don't believe me. It's cream. Yeah Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm that's what I'm thinking is the new cream in like I'm coffee Cremant like I'm coffee. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely Black black and white black and white black and white, black and white, black and white.

It was black. Now it's white. Cause there's creamer in my mug. Then that, yeah, you get it like black and yellow, but I woke up, pulled up coffee in my cup and a girlfriend need a ride to work. So I pick her up and get a coffee. It's yummy. It's creamy. It's delicious. It's yummy, it's creamy, it's delicious, it's coffee.

And we add some creamer and it makes it really yummy. I just wanna drink some coffee with you. And I'll bring a second mug to sip too. Put that coffee mug up to your lips boo. I promise that Coffee cannot kill you Yeah, and you're you're explaining that it's although it is a technically a drug it's not yeah, it's a little song by Houston artists known as coffee beans

Very nice, okay, very good Let's see Oh Cream drinker I Believe you go inside my mug and that's good. We're going a little bit more 70s. Yeah, I like that I like it. This is a vibe shift we needed Yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah. yeah come from the land of the ice coffee with creamers good in the coffees cold brew

I like to. In my mug it tastes really good, it's K.W.Mail and it goes in my mug. Drinking coffee is tasting really good. Tastes yummy. Coffee drink tastes the way that morning should. Very nice, yeah, absolutely. Took my mug and I filled it up. Cup of mud and it's creamy yum and I saw my creamer in the back of my fridge and I put it in my cup. I see a coffee I don't want to drink it black I need some creamer to turn it brown and not black I see the coffee it is iced and it has milk and it

has oat milk and it has the sugar still and it has almond milk and it has the sugar still. And it has almond milk and it has coconut milk. And it has hemp milk and it has cashew milk. And it has rice milk and it has flax milk. Flax milk. And it has grass milk and it has watermelon milk. It has apple milk, it has pecan milk. And it has banana milk and it has orange milk.

And it has chocolate milk, it has strawberry milk. And it has a different kind of apple milk and it has coconut milk. And it has a different kind of apple milk and it has coconut milk. Coconut milk is one of the main types of milk. I forgot that it is just, that is one of the milks. I made up a bunch of milk and I forgot one of the main types of milk. I named like 10 different milks

and I forgot one of the mostly common types of milk. I think I said it and then I thought of fruits and I thought coconut. And it has papaya milk and mango milk. And it has meat milk and it has chicken milk. I use the pear milk and I use the plum milk. I use the grape milk and the another third type of apple milk. I use the different milks that go inside my mug. If you don't have any of those milks, I'll take milk from a bug.

I use the cricket milk, I use the cockroach milk. I use the caterpillar milk, I'll use the butterfly milk. I use the goat milk, which you can buy at the store. I named like 50 fake milks and goat is one of the milks. I use the rat milk and I make my coffee brown. I use the mouse milk before I go into town. I use the sheep milk and I give it to my son my daughter likes the

She likes them Cantaloupe milk to make her number one. I Don't mean P. I do not make my daughter be That would be weird and that would be odd to sing she if she has to be it's her decision to make I must reiterate I don't make her go pee I don't make my daughter go pee she does it on her own. Same with my son, he does it with his little bone. My daughter's 23, my son is 14. I don't need to help them pee, I think that'd be kinda mean. My kids they are so good when they need to go pee, because every morning they drink their coffee They use all the milks I said earlier in the song You can choose any type of milk you want, it's not wrong

I need to tell you I don't make my kids go poop I use the chimp milk when I need them to go poop the chip milk when I need them to go poop. It makes you bored your bowels, it makes your tummy hurt. Chip milk is poisonous, it makes you feel worse. I poison both my kids with monkey milk, yuh-huh. I drink the bat milk and I got COVID-19. I'm patient zero for coronavirus too. I gave it to all my friends and I will give it to you.

They said it came from a lab but I drank the bat milk. The wizard gave it to me he said it was chill It tasted really bad it was green and it was thick I drank the bat milk and I now feel very sick Would you like some bat milk in your cup it tastes real good Give some to my daughter, she is made of wood. Both my kids are made of wood, they're not real human beings. I did something really bad and killed my family. I feed bat milk to my wood and fake children.

I killed my family and I drank a big latte. I put some milk in it so I could have a good day. I'm a linear, I used that app to kill my son. I just downloaded it at a picture of a gun. I used the gun app and I killed my family. Deleted them from my browser history now it's just me and this milk and my two wooden kids I like to drink that milk it makes me really big it makes my boner big when I drink boner milk It comes from factories where they have it distilled

What's in boner milk you ask I'll tell you the secret You can get it from a man. He secretes it it you can get it from a man he secretes it his name is Peter and he has sickle cell he's quite evil but I think that he means well he's a big black man that's where I get my boner milk. It comes out wide and smooth and very silky silk. Peter is the only white guy with sickle cell. And the only man who makes boner milk through cell. You can buy it at the store, it's a specialty type of milk. I'm running out of words that rhyme with milk, it's chiller silk. And there is also the word ilk, that you can earn, you can earn somebody's ilk.

I think you earn their ire, you don't earn their ilk. You don't earn their ilk you don't earn an ilk you earn somebody's ire ilk is like someone you associate with like Thomas and his ilk I drink the garbage milk and it was filled with filth I drink the brown garbage milk it made me very wild I drink the grandma milk it made me make a quilt. I went to college school it made me very skilled. I don't drink my son's milk that would not be very cool. I don't drink my daughter's milk, that would not be very cool. I don't drink my daughter's milk, she's always away at school. I drink the artist's milk and cause a tapestry.

And drink the celery milk and it made me go pee. Artist's milk. Do you guys have any alternative milk? Maybe like an artist's milk? I'm kind of like really done with oat because of the seed oil so I've been wondering if I can get some artist's milk. Yeah we have it. We have the artist's milk and it is here for sale.

It comes with feather and the bristles of a bristles of a whale I mean that's Bailey that is what they filter through before they're delivered to you thanks for the artist milk it tastes tastes very good. What's that? I drink the krill milk in it Krill I drink the krill milk and I go up for air Big humans that live up there I Like to go and scare all the boater man, I flip their ships over and get them in the sand. I Go to whale heaven and fuck a human girl It is amazing the things that life cannot follow

Didn't know you could fuck a girl all the way up in whale heaven You can fuck a girl if you want and you can be friends with Kevin. Whale heaven's probably in their ideology. Probably actually the bottom one cause it would be deep in the sea. Cause I feel like going up for a whale is not fun. Seems like that would be their hell That's where they get speared in they take out all their sperms And they take out their oils gave them to the worms

But deep in a whale see the deeper that it goes The closer whale can man can get to touch his toes Though closer, well, man can get to touch his toes. If they have well heaven, they must have well Christ. Did he get crucified or did he get tempura fried? I saw well Jesus and he still was white. I thought he was so cool. He was like Moby, well, white? Moby White. Moby White was a big book about a whale. He was my cousin and he had a tiny tail What would you do what if you saw a big ass whale but I had a tiny tail and it had huge human breasts and

Your face and human legs and it was the size of okay four feet tall Okay, so like Wait wait wait, wait. It had on a big jean jacket. A whale, small tail, human legs, four feet tall, and it's got a jean jacket on. What would I do if I saw it? Yeah, what would you do? Is that the question? I don't know, man. I'm a pretty chill guy.

I'd probably go ask how it's been. Nice. I'd introduce myself, say, hey, man, I'm Jake. I know you just moved into town You know I like to go I Like to go to Twin Peaks and watch the fights if you want to come later, and he would say like oh You know what I mean? Yeah, that's good. I Would probably harpoon it and kill it on the sidewalk

Okay, you you'd execute him for for being a whale. I take out all the sperm. Oh, so this is because kerosene is big right now. What's kerosene made of? Well, it used to be made of the oil from whales like the blubber. Oh, maybe, you know, actually, no, that's not true. I don't think that's not true kerosene is a different thing. I believe I believe they used to burn Whale blubber back in the day, but I think kerosene was something else. Let me look that up real quick

Haven't read a book about pirates in a long time Yeah, that's okay. Well. I think kerosene is different. It's just it's not that efficient of a fuel source from what I remember well blubber fuel Whale oil yeah, it was used to Oil from the bowhead whale was sometimes known as train oil which comes from the Dutch word Tran interesting They have this shit known as train oil which comes from the Dutch word Trane hmm interesting they have this shit oh that's cool Lily caught her mouse and has been meowing for

like five minutes straight yeah I can kind of hear she's just going ape shit yeah I have to go up to her so she stop, but I'll keep podcasting she just has another 45 minutes to go and she'll be good Okay Can you hear it? Yeah, I can hear it. Yeah, it's pretty I'll be right back. Yeah, do your thing. Uh, while Thomas is away congratulating Lily on getting her mouse

I want to tell all of you guys that I saw a lady, I was at Lowe's looking to get some lights for the van and a lady walked into Lowe's with a flag of Israel head scarf and a flag of Israel draped over her shoulders like a cape.

And for like a half a second I, well when I first saw it I was just kind of like let out like a, you know what I mean, like a, but then there was a part of me, I couldn't really see, she like reached around to get something and I thought I was about to watch like the most unathletic mass shooting of all time I just had like that I don't know any of the American fans if you see a weird guy at the mall who's just or like the store or like a concert you kind of have that like at least for me I have that like for a second and then he's just like a normal weird guy or whatever the fuck he's not like a guy who's coming to kill a bunch of people. But anyway, I

Saw her and I was like, oh damn I hope she isn't doing stupid and she didn't she just walked into the stores and went to the left to the plant aisle But I would like to say That if you're wearing if you go outside and you're wearing a big Israel flag And you're not at a pro, I don't even want you to wear to the protest This is just how I feel about the issue but that's not here or there if you're just going to the store and You're putting you're getting all gussied up here at your apartment

You go You know what would complete this outfit a big Israel flag And you put it on your fucking shoulders and you put it on a fucking headscarf, too I if I had if there were no laws, I would hit you with my Astro van I would turn you to fucking red mist and That's just the way that that's what I personally feel about that lady that I encountered Thomas you're coming in at a really weird part of this story. No I was just telling the audience I meant to tell you on Monday but I was at Lowe's and I was going to get some light

fixtures for the van, some funky lighting and a lady walked in with a flag of Israel like her head wrapped in it, like a head wrap and with a flag of Israel like her head wrapped in it like a head wrap and Then a cape of the flag of Israel like she had it around herself like a cake. That's beautiful And I I told the audience I was like You know people at home I was like Imagine she whipped the heater out. You know what I mean? Like imagine she was there to do got to do fucking Jewish God's will and I would be super pissed if I was just getting some fucking funky disco lights for my stupid-ass van And then I turn and then she is just like oh I got you and then just fucking turn me to red mist

I would get so mad if I don't want to die in a mass shooting But I don't want to get God by a fucking you don't think anybody needed to be afraid other than customer service no I'm with you a hundred percent I was I just have this thing where if I'm at a public place and I see somebody who's being weird in a way that isn't normal I do have a little bit of like you know what I mean like that it doesn't last long it's just like a I get that way in like movie theaters and like concerts and stuff where I see somebody that's just like you know what I mean and stuff where I see somebody that's just like You know what I mean, and I'm like

Is that guy gonna fucking up the Thule and turn everybody to Swiss cheese turns out no he just has Like a we he has these mass shooter Physiogeny fit for analogy phenotype if you will like he just that, which is fine. Some guys straight up just look like that. That's okay. I mean, if you go end up doing a mass shooting, it's not fine, but if you just look like a guy that would do it, that's okay. Um, but when I saw her, I was like, I was just trying to make the point that like, you're at your house and you're like, I got to go run some errands. I got things I have to do.

I got to go Lowe's. You're at your house and you're like, I gotta go run some errands. I got things I have to do. I gotta go Lowe's. I need to get some plants and I need to get like some recessed, you know, shelving. I would like to make a floating shelf. So I'm gonna put my shoes on and then I'm gonna put my pants on and then I'm gonna put my belt on and then I'm gonna put my shirt on and then I'm gonna put a flag of Israel on my head and then I'm gonna put a flag of Israel on my back. I'm gonna get in my car and then I'm gonna put my shirt on and then I'm gonna put a flag of Israel on my Head and then I'm gonna put a flag of Israel on my back

I'm gonna get in my car and then I'm gonna go to the store like that line of thinking I just so we really don't Jamaicans do it Yeah, yes Yeah, I like if a Mexican guy is wearing this just speaks to the overall kind of unraveling of the Zionist mind if I see a big Mexican guy and he's got a Mexican flag on his back I know that that guy is awesome to party with and he's got fucking just be just ice-cold beers somehow in the back of his very hot truck they never tell you how you

keep it cold because you never see a cooler back there. They just have cold Modelo. That's it. You see a guy with an Irish flag on his back. That guy is also cool and fun as fuck to be around and you're going to might maybe you get some trouble with him. You know what I mean? You see a guy with an American flag on his back. It's a 50 50 shot. You might meet a guy who you can have a couple beers with or you might meet a guy who you want to shoot and kill. You know, but you see a guy with a flag of Israel cape, 100% failure rate, 0% success rate. That guy's not interested in having a good time. That guy's not interested in being like a life of the party. He's interested in being, you know, whatever fuck it is. He's got going on upstairs He wants to tell you facts and stuff he wants to set the record straight

And I'm not interested. I would just come with a white flag. I give up I Surrender I surrender to everybody in this Walmart Do whatever you want to me Like a World Cup party, and you just have a white flag. You're like, I just want everybody to quit. Just going into the bathroom with my white flag. I hope nothing happens to me in here because I surrender my body to all of you. You guys are wearing, yeah, nothing under the white flag. I'm going into the shipping container here to surrender.

I hope no one comes in here and dominates shipping container here to surrender. I hope no one comes in here and dominates me because of my surrender. Yeah. You know. Sucking on it. You never really see many pirate flags anymore. The classic skull and bones flags.

What's that one called? The Jolly Roger? Yeah, that's what it's called. Yeah, the Jolly Rancher. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it would probably be called nowadays, all these kids eating their candies. But I think it would probably be called the Jolly Rancher.

So the Jolly Roger. And instead of cannonballs, it would be Facebook pokes. They would send across each other's decks Let's cross the starboard bow you just like send a big finger, and it would just okay Yeah, wait go clean this go look over the snapchat bow Okay, go clean all the snap streaks off the deck Off off of the off of the loop deck the boomerang yeah deck yeah, yeah Yeah, cuz somebody go

Somebody go get in the iPhone be the crow's nest Okay, somebody go to the genius lab, and it's the where the fucking steering wheel is Yeah, it probably be the Crohn's nest with all these Millennials because they all have bowel diseases from from From I don't know what they probably is the American diet or something I'm just a boy in my tummy hurt. Do you like that when I say stuff like that? I'm just a boy in my tummy hurt. Do you like that when I say stuff like that? I'm just a boy. I'm just a boy and my tummy hurt. Do you like, what do you think about me as a man and your friend when I say that sentence with that cadence in that tone?

Honestly, at this point, it's not that bad. Okay. Okay. I was just curious. Because I- I say stuff like that sometimes. Oh, okay. You know, I'll just be like, I'm just like a 24 year old little boy. You know what I mean? I'm a 30 year old boy and my tum tum hurt. I have a little tummy and it's got- hey guys, hey everybody.

I know we just met at this bar, but I'm a 30 year old Sexually curious boy with with us with an upset tummy Do you think that people would want to be my friend if I think so if you say oh, I'm with your year old baby You start sucking on your thumbs both of them at the same time. Yeah spitting on your thumbs, too, and then suck in the spin Yeah, I'm a 30 year old baby with the upset tummy And I just start like deep throating like all my ends no people would like yeah I think I would I would meet so many new cool guys that would want to be my friend I'm gonna have in trouble making friends lately really Yeah, well, I mean I don't really I don't really want to make any More it's no like not to say that I don't want to like it

So if I meet a group of guys and they're cool, but I think it's me. I feel like I've just been like striking out on like making new friends lately. Really? Yeah. But again, I think it's mostly just, oh, maybe not mostly.

Every time like, like when I go to the gym, you know, like sparring or something and then afterwards people are like, hey, we're going to go this weekend, we're going to hit pads and we're going to go to the river. Do you want to come? And I'm like, yeah, maybe, you know, that sounds cool. And they're like, okay, yeah, here's my Instagram. Um, just like shoot me a follow and then like, I'll add you to the group chat. So I go, oh shit, cool. So I go to their Instagram and all of the posts are like opus day, like repent and submit to Rome stuff.

And this happens more often. You think these guys don't just live in the computer, they're real guys. And so I, I don't want to hang out with anybody that's into that stuff I don't like here's what I don't give a fuck if you're like a normal conservative like just guy from the south I don't care about that really I mean I would rather you not be that but I don't really care we can barbecue and drink beer and you don't have to bring your shit up I don't bring my shit up but it's fine But there's a certain type of guy that like they just that's all they're able to do and to talk about and to

To exude is that you know what I mean, and I just don't and it happens more often than you think So I just try to like not associate with anybody at the gym Just the way she goes. Yeah, no disrespect. Hey, if you are like a Catholic like Crusader guy and you're like and you're from Katy, Texas and you're posting like clips of that movie with about the king and he's got the silver mask and he he's a guy from history and He lost some gay more to like a... MF Doom, yeah. Huh?

MF Doom. Yeah, MF Doom. If you're into that type of shit, I have news for you. The Crusades are over and you are from Tombal. The Crusades are over and you have a Camry. The Crusades are over and you work at Jimmy John's is gay this is gay stuff you're doing this is stupid like it people are always like I you know Maoist or fucking they're all you know those guys live in the suburbs

whatever fine it is to me in my opinion way gayer to be, and dumber, to be like a guy from like Missoula and you're like, yep, when the crusades start again I'm going to be a warrior for the Lord. No you're not. You're going to die, buddy. You're going to die badly and quickly because that's just the way she goes sorry do we looking at your phone pictures of humans, but cheeks no No, I wasn't I was texting somebody back real quick, but I agree with you But it's not good to be a Nazi if you're not see you should you work on not being like that And you said you should maybe get a fucking baller ass polo shirt instead.

Yeah, you should get a fucking you should go by an old. Like an old crown Victoria, and you should fucking get into sewing or something. I don't know. There's a bunch of shit. I don't know if you saw they gave a They were doing ecstasy ecstasy. They're doing like MDMA therapy to a bunch of people and one of the guys that was in the test group was like They brought him on because they some one of the guys that was doing that one of the scientists doctors or whatever that was doing the thing was like I want to see if this shit like does anything to people who have like

prejudice like they buy their their personality intertwined with their identity is hatred or bigotry or whatever so they give this fucking skinhead like a legit skinhead like the fucking hair and the stupid-ass boots and the fucking shorts like one of those like white trash skinheads not like a UK skin guy and apparently he rolled his dick off so hard he got so fucked up on that ETab baby that like during his trip or during his role or whatever he was like, fuck I fucked up, I hate Mexican. It's like, fuck.

Like he felt bad about it, it like twisted something around in his head that he came out of it, he wasn't racist anymore. Which is so sick. Like I know that like the people like you got to get up against the wall we're gonna kill him I'm like that's fine fine cool whatever what if we tried another way first what if we gave a bunch of these guys a fuck ton of e baby and then if they if then they were like I actually don't hate fucking I don't hate Chinese guys or black guys

actually I fucking love everybody dude fuck man I've lived my whole life as a loser and now that I'm on this ecstasy I fucking love brown people and women and gay guys are awesome You know what I mean like that would seem to me at least the more compassionate No, we do that and we start beating the fuck out of them right? Like as they're having the epiphany you just you come in wearing like a Knights uniform like a big yeah it's right now you're getting date raped fucking think twice next time never trust a double-blind college study you fucking piece of shit Nazi moron

You guys give flails Said a fucking chainmail suit Yeah, I just like I'm in like, you know that the elbow patched like suit jacket corduroy pants I get the glasses I got the hair up in the bun and I got an old book and I'm like Wow, what an amazing breakthrough. You've been a skinhead your whole life. You've been a neo an old book and I'm like, wow, what an amazing breakthrough you've been. A skinhead your whole life you've been. A neo-Nazi. He's like, yeah, I feel just in this moment, I feel like I've lived a lie.

I don't hate anybody. I'm just mad at my family. And then I'm like, wow, see, they can be healed. And then you drop in from the ceiling like full kitted out dude Like night vision goggles chain mail fucking big claymore sword huge ass boots. They make you like six 16 feet tall He's have like a huge mech fist and you just punch him on the top of his head and his spine shoots out the bottom Of his ass you're like, uh, not nice another successful double blind study jake and I go. Yes, sir

This is called good cop bad cop give ecstasy to Nazis and then to shoot him in the head Yeah you know What if we It'd be funny you just trick them into like yeah, it's like a therapy thing like a Experimental yeah, and you just like you just get them hooked on fentanyl yeah it's like oh yeah that drug though man those that ketamine therapy was crazy how often can I come do this yeah every looks like every 30 minutes yeah it looks like yeah it, you know, we looked at your blood chart and you're actually

one of the few guys who could come in and get your MDMA therapy every five minutes. Yeah. Ever. You can come in a thousand times a day if you'd like, for sure. We can up the dose too because you're just so strong. Your will is just too much. I would, it would be fun to conduct, I'm literally just talking about doing scientific biological experiments on these guys, but just be like, hey, we got this new type of therapy, it makes

you not racist. And they're like, I like being racist. That's kind of my whole thing. And you're like, hey, we got this new type of therapy. It makes you not racist. And they're like, I like being racist. That's kind of my whole thing. And you're like, just give it a shot. And then you just pump their bellies up full of that silicon oil that the guys put in their biceps. You just make them bigger and bigger and bigger.

Kind of force feed them or whatever until they explode. I like that. Yeah. That's good. I'm just thinking about new ways to solve racial divides, political and cultural divides in this country. Yeah. I'm gonna do one where we give guys

a big plate of salmon. Yeah? Yeah. A delicious plate of salmon and mashed potatoes and asparagus. Okay, then what's the? Salmon therapy. They said, well, that was really good.

Yeah, and I say, are you still racist? And they say, I think so. I say, all right, we'll come back tomorrow night. And then they come back the next day and it's a steak dinner. It's a ribeye, eye 16 ounce and it's got Smothered and covered you know yeah loaded You guys still racist and they say I think I might be a little bit more racist I said alright. We'll come back tomorrow and then it's

It's Korean short rib, okay, right rice and Korean short rib Okay, right rice and in a really delicious like melon green tea Then I say all right You guys aren't racist anymore right? I think they say I think we're still racist. Okay come back next day beef Wellington And by this point my finances are running low I'm just feeding Nazis just if anything I'm making worse because they're just stronger now

if anything I'm just spending all of my disposable income and I'm having dinner with fascists every night not really contributing much to the world at all disposable income and I'm having dinner with fascists every night. I'm not really Contributing much to the world at all, but you know I'm trying. I'm really fucking drunk. They're working out during the day And then a night they come eat you know 80 grams of protein at my house get stronger They're doing their hate crime so efficiently now Yeah You get canceled through a watermelon clean through a guy's chest the other day It was horrible

Sorry guys, I really thought I was helping but I've made these guys like the fucking engineers from Prometheus Yeah, I've been why humanoid. Yeah, I put them all on an anivore cycle to see if that would make them less aggressive and racist So far these run really fast Yeah, it's hard for the police to get them and they've been punching the perfect you eat through all the prison bars They've been chewing through all the prison bars. All of the Popeyes in the neighborhood have had their foundations ripped straight from the ground and thrown. Yeah, this is our new anti-racism study. It's where I give a guy a bottle of Xanax and ten thousand dollars.

Yeah, I'm just trying to get him to understand the fucking finer things in life to get him to appreciate things more. You know what I mean? I don't, this is a genuine question. It's funny. I've been thinking about it. All the people who are doing that type of stuff are like around our age younger too And there's this thing of like however you raise your kids like sometimes the kid will like grow up with your values and

Then sometimes they go the other way like that happened to me Or like I just kind of went the other way with it for a bunch of different reasons, but nothing you know whatever My question is If you raise your kid, you're like a fucking Opus Dei return motherfucker. Whatever, super far right wing, whatever the fuck. And you have a whole mess of kids. You're kind of gambling on that kid adopting your worldview.

Because from 12 to 17 or 18 or whatever, kids don't give a fuck about what their parents believe in. In fact, they actively, that's the whole rebellion thing. view because from like 12 to 17 or 18 or whatever kids don't give a fuck about what their parents believe in in fact they Actively, you know, it's the whole rebellion thing What if it does what if everything they want backfires and they just end up raising like an entire new generation of like Pink-pilled like sissy hypno guys, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah Like everything like everything backfires. They're like you're gonna go to Jesus camp You're gonna go to Jesus college and you're gonna be a straight white Christian male.

And they're like, I'm gonna be so fucking gay that the mayor has to get involved. You know what I mean? Like I'm gonna be so. I think that's what my family did. Except for me. I feel like everybody's gay, but I mean it's cool. No, some of the stories you told me

about a couple of your siblings, yes, you're 100% right like they went like They went like next, you know, it's cool. Yeah, but yeah Like I've a lot of people I knew who were homeschooled are like either functionally like like functionally Amish now or like okay or like ended up just being like regular MAGA people or are like I mean there's

different paths but some of them really some of the people with strict upbringings really fucking went buck wild the other way yeah and it is kind of be kind of funny to be like actively rebellious after a certain age Yes, like like not saying people shouldn't like I don't care how you do your hair or anything I don't mean like this, but I mean like when you're doing stuff just specifically to piss off your parents, but you're at like the age where like Like I know older people were like they're in their 40s, and they're still like They they act like they're in like their rebellious stage. You know I mean it's like yeah

they're still getting like full sleeves or whatever just because their parents like Hated or whatever I'm like your parents are like in their 70s at this point. Yeah, I mean if you're yeah They don't give a fuck You they're just worried worried about dying Yeah, you know I mean they don't give a fuck what you do anymore, but I mean hey I'm gonna grab my computer charger one second. No you're good Yeah, back. Well sin was a I Don't know if you had seen but crystal ea is putting out clips again thankfully

Of course yeah When I mentioned that having a bunch of new tattoos thing I remembered he has like two sleeves He's gotten like within the not sleeves, but he's just getting Insane amounts of tattoos and when you see a bunch of new tattoos on Somebody at once it's a little bit if it's a younger person it's like oh yeah you know you're young you're discovering yourself or whatever you know you make mistakes or whatever

or maybe not maybe that's what you want forever but when you see an older guy who's getting all his tattoos at once. There's always something going on. Yeah, either he just got divorced or he, you know, maybe he got an inheritance or something or like, you know, it could be a positive thing, but I wanna say it's usually not if it's like their entire body is suddenly tattooed that's usually not usually there's

something going on. As somebody who is pretty I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna keep getting tattoos until I'm dead like I think you're right because my thing is like I like to have shit on my body that looks stupid I think it's funny like I have Like I have some cool. I guess whatever like yeah, but you've been getting you have old tattoos, too Yeah, oh you're saying like freshly when they're all super fresh Yeah, yeah, I see it like when they all like when there's like almost still gauze on them You know what I mean?

And it's like a 45 year old guy and all his tattoos are crystal clear If you're a 45 year old guy and some of your and most of your tattoos are a little faded. That's fine That's normal. They should be a little bit faded by the time you're middle-aged You know what I mean? Like you see you see an old guy and he's got like tattoos from like the 90s or whatever and then maybe he's got one or Two new ones you know what I mean, that's not weird. What's weird is when a guy from the fucking neck down Has like looks like Like a create your player. You know what I mean where it's like they yes, that's odd to me now

Obviously not the weirdest thing Kristal has done but even if you hadn't seen him before, if you just saw him for the first time you went, this guy has a gray beard and $10,000 worth of brand new tattoos. What is going on there? You know what I mean? I think like, to your original point of like, rebellion, it's like I... Sometimes, this is like a part of a larger conversation of like we've had in the past where it's like however you got fucked up and everybody gets fucked up in some ways some are definitely worse

than others I've met like I maybe it's just people I associate with or like the energy or whatever that I give off but most people I've met have had profoundly difficult lives and only one or two guys I've ever known just mostly had like a normal ass life Like parents are together. They loved each other nothing They never got like fingered by nobody or they never got you know Nobody ever beat the shit out of them or whatever they just had a normal ass life with normal whatever past a certain age I think

Doing things or having it be a fundamental part of your personality like I think just causes you more problems I don't know I not necessarily saying it makes you a bad or annoying person it for sure can and I've seen that happen but like building your entire identity around being a fucked up person when you're like 20 is like okay you like barely understand what being an adult is like probably like you barely like maybe you've worked a job whatever you've had adult obligations also it's like this is

a time in your life especially where you are thinking about yourself all day every day yeah at least I was you know what I mean like oh yeah, because you're like becoming Whoever you're gonna be Yeah, you don't really know who that is so it's like yeah, you're trying out new guys every day. Yeah Yeah, like I you know I still have Times like that, and I'm you know I'm almost 25 I Get I was trying to I bought a polo shirt the other day from the thrift store and the whole time I'm thinking What the fuck are you doing?

As soon as you as soon as you put a polo shirt on people are gonna be like why the fuck does that guy have a polo? shirt on Yeah. Yeah, I have no idea what that I don't even know what my thought process was Mm-hmm. I've worn this polo shirt out in public one time, it's just a regular shirt. But in my mind I thought, oh people are going to think you play golf and you don't play golf. What if people try and talk to you about golf and you don't even know the rules to it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I kind of did that with the van. Like my thing is I've always like wanted to have cool old

Stuff, but I never had any money and now I have like a little bit of money that I can like I don't really have much Anyway, I can I can fuck the game up and then deal with it later Whereas before I couldn't even fuck the game up, you know what I mean? and So the van is an extension of that, you know what I mean? but like And so the van is an extension of that, you know what I mean? But like, when you're like, when you're a kid and your parents are like, this is the world and Jesus is going to come back and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then like I meet adults who are like, they talk, I see this stuff on the internet

more than I see it in real life. And I don't know what that means necessarily for like who I'm talking about but when people talk about like religious trauma I'm like I get it I a hundred percent understand that you're 38 if you don't give him a lesson you gotta get over it after yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yes. Like if you, like if all. And even then, you know, you get a longer period, but you gotta, you can't be telling me it worked. You know what I mean? Yeah, the principle of the loan, the interest you can pay off,

it's a longer loan you can pay off. Right, right. You know, but it's, yeah, yeah. Like, yes, and well, that's always a fun thing when someone talks about like, oh yeah, like growing up at the church, and you're like, well, you know, whatever, and they're like, oh yeah, growing up at the church, and you're like, well, you know, whatever,

and they're like, oh, it's just, I didn't fit in. And you're like, you know, I see some people will make like, oh, like, you know, because of like my lifestyle or whatever, and I'm like, you were raised in a Southern Baptist church. Those people suck, 100%, I'm not defending them. But like, my mom, whenever I used to try to wear like my skin tight like black jeans with like the safety pins in them to church when I was a teenager, she would

make me go change. And that was annoying, but I wouldn't call that religious trauma. That's just like my mom not wanting to take her stupid like oi oi punk son to fucking Sunday service. And I get that. Like I understand that. I'm not gonna, if I have a kid, I'm not gonna take him to church. But if I had a sudden 180, and I was like, we're gonna raise you in the church, and my kid was like, can I wear my fucking minor threat? Fucking, no you can't.

We're gonna wear our Sundays best, and then we're gonna go impress the Lord with our fucking loafers. That's what you do. Yeah, and obviously some churches are better or worse than others, but for the most part, people are usually pretty nice. Yeah. You know what I mean?

People weren't throwing rocks at you as soon as you walked in. You know what I mean? I feel like I definitely have an easy time saying that because although I was fucking stupid and arrogant and openly was like, this shit sucks, I hate this I also was like a straight dude who like never it never occurred to me to be like am I not a dude and do I want to have sex with guys I had a couple friends who for whom their church experience being like gay

or trans or whatever you know like sucked really fucking bad and that I think is like the one yeah deck and that's your whole life That's probably gonna fuck with you your whole life because it's a part of a larger thing and you know struggling with Identity and struggling with the world around you as it rejects your identity. That's a big problem. No me I was I just I'm just saying like I'm with you on the whole thing But the fucking like they like slam the door in your face Gay there the gay alarm comes on me gay alert homo homo homo homo But fucking loser get out of brimstone loading

The devil is coming and the devil is coming he's coming for your soul homosexual anus lower detected The whole like it goes from like the like washed in the blood this red like flash bright lights like fucking death metal riffs homosexual sucking penis detected anus alarm anus alarm anus alarm tweak detected My god Yeah fucking There's a one of the churches that I went to when my I don't know I guess this didn't happen to you guys. I know that your dad like went from like a different type of pretty Pretty pious strict to like a different type of that

But at one point my mom left Southern Baptist and she went the whole like, you know what like non-denominational like when people are like Oh, I'm non-denominational Christian and it's like a church and they have like a big screen TV and people it's like It's like cool church. I guess whatever my mom eventually to go into those and that was the last church I went to for a stop going and The pastor's son was like Super duper like gay like super crazy gay But everybody he wasn't out so I don't want to say I mean he's outwardly gay now last I checked Which was like 20 seconds ago. I looked up on my phone, and I kissed my phone. Yeah, but yeah

But but no so like he wasn't he wasn't out yet, but it was like people I felt bad dude people would be like Pastor Jameson, you know, like you'd hear the old biddies like people like got like I just like, you know At the pot like master Jameson, you know He's interesting. He's an interesting he's interesting. He's a character That's like the southern old lady for like gay as shit Like he's a character or like you know what I mean? lady for like gay as shit like he's a character like you know what I mean and it made me feel bad cuz I was like damn this guy like he was he would wear clothes that that would make it to where you could tell he was trying not to come

across as gay like he would just wear like you know like kind of a bootcut with like a nice like rank you know what I mean and like just kind of try and look like a good but you can't you can't fight that like rank, you know what I mean? And like, just kind of try and look like a good, but you can't you can't fight that energy, that aura, you know what I mean? You can gussy it up as much as you want. And you know, Cavenders in a hat. But he you know, in a definitely like a Dallas Buyers Club type, you know what I mean? And and it was always this thing where it's like, every day the guy would be like, not every day, not every Sunday,

but eventually every now and then, the night that I'm interested in, he'd be like, this marriage stuff in the news, you know, it's getting crazy. Because this was around the time they were trying to legalize gay marriage here. There's some marriage stuff's getting wild, and we just, you know, we pray for them,

but you know, it's in the good book And I was just like his sons in the front row. I'm like Damn all I get yelled at is for wearing trying to wear combat boots here You know this guy has a whole ass thing He's dealing with so anyway if you have religious trauma, and you didn't get diddled or you weren't gay And your dad didn't run the fucking man get over it. It's fine. It's not really a big deal It's literally not a big deal. Oh I had to wear a yellow shirt one time. I had to bow my head.

Oh I didn't like potlucks. I didn't like community and potlucks. I hate grape juice. I didn't like talking to Miss Linda. Yeah. I hated when Miss Linda gave me caramel chews from her big stinky

mothball bag. It made me so upset. Did you guys drink grape juice or wine? Did they do that? Grape juice. Yeah, same for us. Yeah, yeah. Same. And uh, I remember asking my mom one time, like, I was like, oh, the Catholics do this and they drink wine

And they're like they're not supposed mom was like they're not supposed to I was like What they didn't have welches in like the Old or New Testament like maybe I'm fucking wrong, but Not even the adults drink the wine it was just fucking grape juice. This is very per it is cheaper, but like it seems like a classic Protestant bastardization just based on like what like Like what like what I don't I never really understood. I'm sure there's a genuine Historical like I mean I think there were some sects that didn't drink alcohol right of price Yeah, like a lot of the restoration or you know like the hardcore guys came out of the prohibition era. Yeah

Restoration or you know like the hardcore guys came out of the prohibition era yeah It could be part of it, but it was just I get no I to Go to yummy it is do you like wine that shit is that is dog shit I? Like it when I like it when alcohol tastes like soda or bread It tastes like something else get out of here I'll drink a glass of wine like if ash gets a bottle or like we're at dinner You know we go like a nice date like I'll have like if I get a steak I'm like okay, but like I don't I like an ice-cold Court I like a Coors banquet tallboy

I like a Budweiser like I don't like it when I drink wine if that answers your question. You know what I mean like It's not it's like sweet. It's not if it's sweet and fizzy now. We're talking Now we're talking a nice fizzy and yummy and tasty. Okay. Yeah daddy. We drink sign me up for the pussy drink If it's a big loaf of bread with bubbles in it Absolutely on a hot summer day Because here's the thing with wine if it is sparkly and sweet and yummy, and it's still like 11% alcohol I can get on board with that I can drink a couple bottles of that and You're gonna send me home in a fucking cab yes, we're gonna have so much fun

I'm gonna have so much fun that you're not gonna be gonna be at the house with me right right, but if it's some horrible Warm yeah, yeah, yeah room temp It just it literally tastes like bad grape juice and I know oh Mike your palates not developed right It isn't whiskeys gross to me Palates not developed right It isn't whiskey's gross to me I ordered a shot of tequila the other day, and I drank half of it, and I gave the other half to my friend I sipped half of the shot of tequila, and I set it down. I went. I don't know why I did that yeah

dude, I Like I like shooting whiskey. I like shooting tequila I like I like shooting whiskey. I like shooting tequila But I don't not already drunk it's hard for me to do a shot. I hadn't even had a beer yet And I ordered a shot Yeah, okay very good point I've never been a dude who shows up at the bar and it's like give me a shot I got to ease into you got to fucking play with a little bit before you know what I mean Yeah, the problem for me was I showed up and the beer was six dollars beer and shot combo was eight dollars and I went okay

Yeah, of course. That's a really good deal And then I got them both and I went I Haven't even eaten dinner yet So what am I doing here? You know, I mean, I was just hanging out with like two friends and we were just like a beer Two and then go our separate ways. We were not going out of the town. This was a weeknight pretty sure. And then I ordered a shot of tequila and then they fill that shit up to the brim.

Like it was the only surface tension keeping it in the cup. And I realized this is no longer what I want. I think I just want the effects of drinking a shot of tequila and I don't wanna taste it. I wanna taste something yummy instead something delicious Yeah, it's always like I like here Yeah, a tasty beer or like What the ones that when we were at the Davenport and I got brought back those Mexican candy shots

You were like this is the best drink that I've ever tasted in my life I think you had I don't know how many you had that night, but we were all sitting there fucking I wasn't I wasn't drinking that night or was it I don't remember but Yeah, they're really fucking good and if you put it that's the thing when we party with Alex and he knows all of the yummy shots like though Where I'm like, oh this isn't a shot because it tastes good and it's green or it's pink or something You like a lemon drop tastes so good Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, and then you're like I can have eight of these because it's not whiskey. It's not straight

He's a trickster. He's yeah, he's a real Easter Yeah, God the dude. Yeah the first first few nights first you Weekend nights that I was off probation. He would trick me and he would mislead me Yeah, and he would tell me that I'd bought around and then he would buy five of them in a row And and then I hadn't bought any and then I would bring one, you know I'd buy one and then he would buy like ten more to make up for it. Yeah, be like course man This is not how it works Yeah, I mean and then by the end of the night, you know, I

Would you know I would I I was I would just be in a position where I would think I did not like I did not know I could still get this drunk and not die Every year every time I get really drunk. I think Last time I thought last time would be the last time I ever got that drunk and then uh-huh And then a few maybe six months later it happens again, and I go wow here. We are look look at here We are once again. When we were in Chicago, dude, there were like two nights where I was legally, like I was going blind. Like I was fucked up, dude, bad.

And I would go up to the bar to get like a Miller, to just sip on it. You know what I mean? Like you get your like closing time beer and it's just a thing you can hold and drink while you try to come back online. You know, like that, at least that's what I do. Like they say, oh, last call.

I used to be like, give me 17 shots and give me 500 beers, please, thank you. Now it's like, I'm just gonna get one ice cold, China or something that I'm gonna call it. But when we were in Chicago, we were at that bar after the live show And I went up to the bar And I was hurting dude bad bad bad bad I Got up there to get my night night beer and Alex was like

last call so Do a shot and I was like There I don't know what it is Alex is just such a fun guy and so nice other people have asked me that like He would take a shot for the bar clothes now. I got not good, man I'm already pretty drunk, but when I was like you're letting him down Yes, literally. Yeah, I feel like I'm like betraying my friend if I tell him no like he but yeah comes No, it's it's all good. Yeah, sometimes you just Remember this is how it goes

But yeah, no fun guy to hang out with anyway What's the uh? Oh? Yeah, that's what I was initial conversation anyway if you This is a message to generations or a generation in the future if you're raised in a trad, crunchy household and your mom and your dad are like woo woo Christian types and they're raising you to be a good strong American fucking boy or like to be a brood mayor for the state, try Vicodin.

Try Vicodin and doom metal. It'll cleanse your soul of all that dumb shit and then you'll be on your way to being a cool guy that I would want to hang out with. I'm not saying to the unborn of the world that we're going to hang out one day when I'm 60 and you're 18. I don't want to do that. What I am saying is that this is a message to all the people in the Soul Factory. There's a good chance you're gonna get born into some kind of house that's like, you know, adrenochrome and fucking like revelations

and schizophrenia stuff. Just get into sleep and get into like old Iron Maiden and get into Oxycodone for like three to seven years. Your parents will get really mad at you, but it is way cooler than and way more fun Than being whatever the fuck that is This is a message to the unborn. Yeah, just a message to the world If you're listening to this that means that it's free. It's free and it's online And if you want to pay for more of it, you can do that. It's pretty cheap

You can go to patreon.com slash pin day ho time of it you can do that it's pretty cheap you can go to patreon.com slash pendejo time dollar gets you access to the discord if you've signed up for that you haven't got it please message the patreon account and I will give you the account I've had to send people the links but you don't get a bonus of the same email hooked up to your discord as you do for patreon it won't automatically add you so we might have to do it manually if so, it's no big yes If you order a shirt, I'm doing a big delivery Of a couple lost items and a couple orders This weekend. I've been moving so my apologies for the delay on those things

Yeah, five bucks a month gives you access to a backlog of bonus episodes plus a new fresh motherfucker every week every goddamn Tuesday 10 bucks a month gets you access to all that stuff plus a video episode. August is are in the lab they're being cooked up as we speak and they will be out to the fucking door fresh delivered to you soon. Yeah I think that's it. All right goodbye. Goodbye.