Pendejo Time - dana black

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

I got all the fights on my tv and my tv got carpet on it    buy tickets 

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Best of all, not only does mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, listeners get 20% off their first order with code P.E. D-E-J-O. So head to mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code P-E-N-D-E-J-O at checkout to save 20% on your first order. That's P-E-N-D-E-J-O at checkout to save 20% on your first order. I guess a lot of people have been asking us to talk about this, and it is really annoying

whenever you are on your computer and your computer wants to open Discord. Yep. And you don't want Discord open, and you, at one point, did change it in your laptop settings to not automatically boot Discord. Yeah. Because you went in your settings, and it was checked off. Oh, automatically boot Discord constantly. And you're going, okay, turn that off. Yeah.

You turn it off, and it keeps doing it. Well, it's good. Now you can talk to all your friends on Discord. Yeah. while you're trying to put all your focus into sending an email and a half today you know it's crazy that kids like

go on there to watch child pornography and like send videos of them killing neighborhood dogs and stuff because I mostly use it for sending gifts to guys that I used to be friends with but they went to jail or something and now they're out and people reading that yeah Discord

is like a pretty pop grooming and stuff yeah the 7664 order the nine angles stuff that's all I know it for so I can't really yeah legging

yeah I think yeah yeah have you join the the the shining discord yeah

yeah me and my brother's got the shining discord yeah I don't mean to brag but I'm in a chance founded by Al Capone and voice channel Just like an old Like fucking Appalachian

If you could get me on telegram I'd be happy to share you with A recipe for Grand Pappi's White Lightning Just get me on telegram At the Rapist Devil I want head-cooked privileges I want mashmaster badges I didn't

Keep me the Swamp Man Roll I don't I have been known to be in the swamp Being up to no good So I've been knowing to do that I saw you in the Bayou Bia channel The hashtag

Bayou And they added the Gator Bot to the Bayou Channel I board my old truck engine out and I've been using it to run from the law and I've been making uh I've been making fuel out of corn and drinking it and they gave me the big by you boss man badge for that one and I've also been using it to worship the devil I suppose all those guys they have a they'll like give themselves a nickname like knife and slitter fucking blade it's really I

uh I went down like a little bit of a rabbit hole on the like the uh Order the nine angles, like, uh, seven, six, four stuff. It's, um, like, how do I, I'm trying to be thoughtful the way I say this. If, if you're 15, um, and things aren't going super good for you, maybe your home life is really, really dog shit, uh, it's super bad. Um, maybe your mom and dad beat you. Maybe they, like, touch on you. They slap your shit around and maybe they fucking do other crazy shit to you.

Maybe they smoke glass Whatever the fuck it is that they do You're primed to start Like a really good band You're primed to be like The next fucking Taking Back Sunday or something You're primed to be like

In a shoegaze band Just find the nearest big city to you And find the fattest drummer you can And your life could be good You don't have to go on Discord and some pictures of your bloody balls and like read satanic spells to other children. You don't have to do that. I don't think that I don't know if anybody listening to this is maybe dipping their toe in the fucking left-hand path.

But all I want to say, all Jake wants to say is you don't have to do that. If you're 15 and you're depressed, you can be in a band, man. You can fucking being depressed in 15, you can maybe wear a different type of clothes. And maybe that'll work out for you. You know what I mean? Maybe you can wear a lot of black. They get a lot of purchase. A propeller hat.

You could eat a lollipop, a big one. You know what I mean? Like, there's so many things you could do besides joining a kind of black magic accelerationist cult and make child porn with other teenagers. You don't have to be doing all that. So I just want. Well, when it's that, you know, if it's mutual and everybody's cool with it, honestly, I mean. Who gives a fuck?

Jake and I Jake approves of that Stop I don't want that I don't want you to be saying That type of stuff Okay Anyway

Uh Hold on Wink wink They They fucking I was like Bro please don't say That stuff out loud

Bro Bro That's between me and you That's between me and you dog There's a private man That is a private conversation Between me and my friend to John Reapcast

Oh dude that shit was crazy I was like damn It really doesn't happen very often at all Yeah I mean comedians are horrible people But you don't hear about one being an actual pedophile Very often like Yeah like an old school

Like a texting pedophile Like a real life Like I show you mine you show me yours Classic old school style Yeah Yeah like a monster Yeah yeah Well, I saw the picture of him, and I was like, he's one of those guys where I see him and I go, oh, that motherfucker, you know what I mean?

And then he, yeah, he was, I guess, trying to have sex with kids. It's like the guy from that band lost profits. They were one of, they were like one of the big, like, I guess they were like thrice. You know, it was like a, like, radio alternative rock. Not butt rock, but like kind of fucking whatever the fuck. and as it turns out the lead singer was arrested for trying to orchestrate an orgy involving a child and all of his usernames on the computer where I have sex with kids don't clip that and and so he had to go to jail for the rest of his natural born life

apparently in jail he kind of is like a proud to be in there for what he did so I hope he gets AIDS and dies once I think Anyway What the fuck was I talking about Last Proff is it sounds like it would be Like a rap Syndicate type thing Yeah no yeah for sure

Something that it would be like To Lip Kali and those guys You know what I mean Yeah Or like a you know like Like a J. Ditt Like a Dilla Maybe like a Griselda thing

Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah But instead it was Aophile band So It's got to sucks to be in a band with somebody

and you're normal yeah dude I was thinking about that too yes dude you were just trying to like do your thing yeah man I didn't even like them do you know like whenever like whenever a really big one breaks

like I as a guy who's been in a bunch of bands obviously never made it or whatever like you know how fucking hard it is to even get to where you have an audience it's hard it's harder than like stand-up I think or any other types of shit and there's more people are doing it so it's like you become a big band and you're torn all over the world and

you're just like man i can't believe it you know what i mean like oh all it's all true it's all real fuck and then uh your lead singer is a nonce as the british would say um or you know like if you're smoking cocaine and like finger blasting groupies like that you shouldn't do that but i feel like whatever you know what i mean like if as long as the groupies are fine with it i suppose whatever the fuck but uh i would be so mad if my bandmate was a pedophile i would be so pissed yeah because i guess you gotta like probably gotta stop being in the band with him probably yeah for sure or he has to go to jail if the crimes are egregious enough well we're kind of anti-incorceration so i don't know how i feel about that but

But, yeah, that's fair. How's it going, Jake? Can you hear me? It's over? Jake disappeared. It's okay. We can chill for now. What have you guys been up to lately?

I, uh, had a nice chest day. yesterday and um um testing you're good i'm testing i'm just chilling well i don't know if i don't know what happened uh i don't know if i'm recording anymore i think your internet might have cut out it's still recording okay yeah um whatever oh yeah so i don't know what internet went out or something it's okay we were just talking about like oh god was great talking about life yeah i don't fucking uh i don't know how we get another topic of conversation uh but uh we're talking about if if your bandmate was a proper nonce yeah and you said you wouldn't care but i was disagreeing with you i said i would care a lot

and i wouldn't be in the band anymore and you said i would stay in the band yeah man i think uh i think i would probably the pedophile leaves the band and you guys get worse like you guys yeah he was the glue he was the fucking rock yeah yeah it's got to happen most of the time you know troubled souls who they put all their anguish into playing guitar and yeah that's what I'm saying though don't really good

if you have a bad life man I don't want you don't join a fucking right wing Satan is cold don't join don't fucking don't join a militia man if you have a bad life just get a boss grunge drive get a fucking made in Mexico stratcaster

get a fucking solid state amp and then just fucking yam on that motherfucker, dude. Bring joy to the people's lives. We haven't had a good rock band in fucking forever. There hasn't been a generational talent rock band and God knows how long. And it's because all of our young men are fucking getting depressed and being molested and getting beat on by their parents. And instead of starting awesome ass rock bands like smashing pumpkins and fucking Nirvana and all the other ones, they're fucking joining Nazi death colds or they're fucking shooting each other or they're fucking shooting up schools or they're fucking. Or they're

Or, or they're posting substacks about, like, Roman statues and deadlift mechanics. Get the fuck out of here. Suck my fucking Texas nuts. Who is the best, like, big rock group? I mean, Billy Corgan was, like, a profoundly, like, Billy Corgan now would have not started to smash pumpkins. He'd have started a substack called the Golden Nation of Yore, and he would have talked about bench pressing and,

and how he had gay thoughts, but he literally lifted them away. He wouldn't have done, he wouldn't have made Siamese dream. He wouldn't have made Gish. He wouldn't have made melancholy. Was the best, it was the last big rock group?

The Black Keys? People say Turnstile, but I think that's a load of shit. I think like the last big one. I never, I've never listened to Turnstile. Well, they're pretty big. But they're not generational.

Right. They're not like, they pop at all, though, right? They're, they've been more. poppy but the point that i make when i usually bring people bring them up as i'm like what was the last band that like they listened to and fucking timbuck to africa at weddings to me that was system of a down they're fucking like like the last band that like literally you ask

any cocksucker on the fucking street to name five songs it's like system of a down that's it lincoln park like i don't think we've had a big motherfucking band in a long ass time like a big one you know what i mean like turn like i mean we've had big bands like but not like rock bands right Rock is, that's what I mean. Cold play's huge. They're bigger than God. You know what I mean? 1975?

Yeah, they're pretty big, but they weren't like, they weren't like generational big. They didn't like redefine a genre. You know what I'm trying to get at, I guess. They were pretty big, though. I mean, I don't know. I still think it's so funny that the... The other music is just kind of like Target music.

Yeah, yeah, it is. I still think it's so funny my dad got into them before he died. That's just such a funny band to like be like a 50 something year old like metalhead drug addict girlfriend music yes i don't know because he was on tinder before he died a lot so i don't know if he like met a girl that showed him that and he texted me he's like i'm gonna listen his band and it's like i'm like i go over to his fucking apartment and galvison we're smoking weed if i was single and a girl in 2025 said that she her favorite band was in 1975 i would

that would be to me a sign of incompatibility, I think. Yeah, well... Not that you have to have the same music taste as me. There are some red flags. I would know. I would think she's so stupid, probably. Mm-hmm. You know.

What a dumb broad. What a fucking moron, you know? You can like some pretty dumb bands and I'll respect it. Like, if you said your favorite band was like the butthole surfers or something i'd be like i'd get behind that yeah it's it's clearly like a unique person whatever yes it's like being like oh my god my favorite drink probably the macha from starbucks my favorite drink is probably coca cola uh my favorite food uh probably

meat probably i guess domino's pizza my favorite food probably cheese or burger or maybe even meat. Yeah, I think my favorite lunch is probably a sandwich and an apple. I really hate, like, I hate the whole, like, co-worker music, normy stuff. I think it's really reductive and degrading and mean. But then I'll, like, go to hang out with Ashley's, like, one of her friends who's, like, literally works in HR, is like a Swifty, like, bankrupts herself to go to every Taylor Swift show. And then we're hanging out with her friends, like, friend group D, like four friend groups

removed, and we're all, like, at brunch once a year, we run into each other in Houston. And dude, literally, it's that. It's like, I've been really enjoying this, this place. Which Witch? Have you ever heard of it? It's so good. And the person's like, what's in it? It's like, so you can make your own sandwich.

And they have drinks too. And they're like, I have to go tomorrow. And they're like, you should. It's so good. And then the other person's like, oh, that reminds me. I've been eating at this place called Kava. You can get a bowl and there's a meat and salad in it. And the person's like, get the fuck out here.

I had a conversation like that at work recently where they were, People were like, yeah, we went to sweet green today. Okay, like, we live in Brooklyn. Yeah. I saw the Statue of Liberty on the train, yeah. Sweet green today, and I get chicken and rice. The chicken and rice and sweet potato is sweet green. It's so good, but so healthy, too.

I don't fucking... Put it in a cardboard box for you to eat out of. They give it tuna plastic. dog bowl. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's like mean. I get mad at myself when I like have these kind of like knee jerk reactions. But I don't normally when people like us co-worker music, first of all, they're wrong.

They're talking about like a band that is popular, but it's not co-worker music. Real co-worker music is Tom McDonald. Yes. Dude, co-worker music is Tom McDonald and like that that rapper that's also the roofer. I think his name's Jam Wayne. and he's like I climb up on a building I'm a real motherfucker

I'm from Alabama and I got a big ass trucker and everybody want to he's that guy that's co-working music Oh is Jam Wayne Yeah yeah Do you know him

Do you fuck with Jam Wayne? Jam Wayne? I just know about it He actually has like a big ironic fan base on Instagram Like Jim Wayne lovers Yes yeah yeah Oh my God That kills me this

It's so good. It's such a community. And then they'll comment on his stuff. And they'll be like, I fucking love you, Jam Wayne. I would fuck it. Or like hashtag cut for Jam Wayne.

You can't cut for Jam Wayne. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Looking fucking delicious goat. You know what I love about Instagram and when that stuff happens is I don't. I'm dripping down my leg right now, Jam Wayne. Yeah, yeah.

Is it, Jam Wayne probably doesn't understand what's happening. He's probably not tuned into what's happening. He's probably like, people are killing themselves for me and their pussies are wet, man, I'm doing, must be doing something right, you know, jams on his way up, whatever the fuck. And little does he know, the world's just falling apart. Oh, man.

Anyway, there was a recent tragedy in the news. I just wanted to give everybody a moment to think about it. And I don't want to, don't want to joke about it. I don't want to talk about it. You know what I mean? There was just a recent horrible tragedy. I guess I'll share what happened I ordered some shirts from Australia

and they sent me all smalls I don't know what the fuck they were thinking because I'm not a small I think I'm big light I think is the term And so You're a small No

I'm not small And although I have been have been kind of just rapidly losing weight but that's what's supposed to happen I think I think that's what's supposed to happen when you don't eat food

and you do a lot of cardio what's up God what the fuck are y'all doing get out of here I love you both you're such a cute ass dog what the fuck do you want bye

bye Jake was talking to his servants I was talking to my butler and my fucking do Jim Wayne is a musical artist who blends rap in country to create a unique sound that some say offers

a realistic view of life's complexities. His music combines elements of pop and R&B, and his lyrics are said to resonate with listeners. What is that? Is that Google? Google overview of Jam Wayne. No. I want to, hold on, let me see if I can find some Jam Wayne lyrics.

I want you guys to understand if you're not familiar with Mr. Jam. If you're from overseas, maybe you're like a learned. European homosexual Jam Wayne lyrics Jam Wayne is basically a guy from Alabama who, white guy um wears a lot of...

He's only 43. Wow. Only 43, huh? Yeah. He's only 43. And, oh, he's on country rap news. com. Jam Wayne,

the undisputed workforce of country rap. here we go this is jam wayne no problems okay i ain't even gone flex it's sunday i ain't even up next but one day you gonna put this tape in hit the replay going vibe when you ride chill to the music feeling what i'm putting inside dealing with your vulnerable side this go hard and i ain't even try close your eyes just vibe with me do or die for life really when i ride and he driving me hold on a second wayne hold on a second wayne i thought when i'm He driving me Feel what I'm putting inside

Wayne My brother died so my eyes Blurry another ride to the cemetery Are you Wayne are you gay No No he's not Don't talk about Jam Wayne like that

Don't play with his name Don't play on my fucking If you've got some shit to say to Jam say you in the face Yeah There's another one I can't We have jam Yeah we used to have

Jam and jelly for breakfast And now I wake up listening to Jam And Jam and Jelly Roll On my way to work My way at parole office Sometimes you got to roll with it What a fucking dude I don't think I think I probably said something here before

I love that we live in, like, we live in Rogan's, uh, his interests. He just finds something that he likes and then the guy goes on a show and then they're just like a massive part of everything in the world. There's RFK or fucking jelly roll or whatever the fuck. Like, he thinks something's cool and that guy just, it's fucking, it's what it is. He's just, you know what I mean? Like, jelly roll was, I think we, who did we talk to about this? Jelly roll is like something that I remember, like, people that I used to,

to Huff keyboard cleaner would listen to. Like, it's literally roofing music. Like, it's what you listen to when you are, like, not obeying OSHA rules. When you are OSHA violating at a fucking high expert level. You've got two ladders stacked on top of each other and a fat Dominican guy's handing you a bucket of wet paint. Like, that's fucking, that's what jelly roll is.

And now, like, he's going to be at the Super Bowl this year. Without a fucking doubterine, dude. He's going to be at the Super Bowl this year. No doubt in my mind. The Super Bowl this year is going to basically be like a burger fascist rally, I think, probably. Big-ass fucking hot dogs, huge-ass blonde titties, grave digger. His name's tithies? Huge fucking blonde yams.

Her tities were so fucking blonde. A blonde with huge yams. The boops is so pissed. She already had a fucking dick in him. It's fucking her On your press Stop Dude, dude

I don't like that Yeah, I'm so big Who a dick in it Stop Dude, I don't like that I just would tell you all this Oh, oh okay Sorry, go ahead

Oh, so big Who's so big I had a dick in it I love I love when he tweets at his wife And she tweets back at him So awesome I was talking to Ashley about that.

I was like, you need to be on that shit. You need to be on that level when she tweets like Tuesday, 9 in the morning. Can't wait to get home and suck your shit bone dry until you pass out and fart. She's tweeting that shit like seven times a week. She's adding his Twitter at Jelly Roll 19. Hey, babe, I'm flying home and I'm really, my pussy's getting wet. And I'm thinking about licking on your balls to you fart. And he replies like, yeah, that's why I married you, bitch.

Like, what a fucking sick ass life, dude. If I ever text In my fucking fiance Anything like that She was Fucking send me a picture Of a fucking airplane ticket to Ulan Batar

She said that I have a new ass life Away from you As far as God can take me Yeah babe Can't wait to get home So I can fucking gobble on your shit Then you have to Then I'll

Then you have to make you a big ass Meatloaf Do you have to poop? Like it's fucking disgusting Dude It's nasty shit Dude I hate it so much Somebody was

No Someone was pulling up I think it was One of the Chapo F fuck you mean guys They were pulling up old tweets of hers They were nasty They were like yeah It's not the same

With at Jelly Roll's thumb of my butt While I'm sucking him off I'm just like dude First of all Mr. Roll You got yourself a real fucking Babe Ruth okay You got yourself a real humdinger

Congrats Okay jelly roll step aside for a second I need to talk to Ms. Roll We need you to fucking tighten it to fuck up This is We need you to tighten this shit up This is unacceptable I don't like reading it

shit. It's fucking disgusting. Anyway. What if it's people with their labels writing that for them? That would be cool.

That would be cool. I think I could get down with that. Just took a shit and it got on my balls. Can you come look it off on the bridge? At jelly roll. I forget what his wife's name is. A bunny?

Oh, bunny roll. Yeah, something like that. I think it, I think Ashley was telling me she's got a podcast. Bunny boobies? It might be. I might actually be bunny boobies.

Bunny boobies. It's not funny. It might be funny. Bunny jelly roll. What's her fucking name? Jelly roll and bunny. What's the story behind jelly roll and bunny? Test.

So it's an online cannabis company. Check it out. They're revolutionizing how we do with life's challenges. From sleepless nights to get this, Thomas, even stress-filled days. Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blends. They'll deliver them discreetly right to your doorstep. And their epic euphoria gummies, by the way, when nothing's going right and you just need to hit the

freaking reset button on your crap mood, you're having a bad day. Epic euphoria is one of my go-to gummies. They sent me a whole freaking shag bag, dude, and I did not have any nightmares or any bad times. I felt awesome. It made me fall in love with hemp again in a bizarre way, and I want to say thank you to the mood people for that, for carrying stuff for guys like me. What makes these different is how they've paired THC and other cannibinoids with herbs and adaptogens. You're not just going to find gummies like this at a dispensary, or anywhere for that matter.

And they have gummies for literally everything. Immune support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms. mental clarity, sexual arousal, and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small family-owned America farms. No pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the U.S. Vest of all, not only does mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, listeners get 20% off their first order with code P.E.N. D-E-J-O.

So head to mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code P-E-N-D-E-J-O at checkout to save 20% on your first order. That's P-E-N-D-E-J-O at checkout to save 20% on your first order. Jelly Roll and Bunny. Why the fuck is my shit? Test, test. Hello?

That shit fucking penis. Penis pie. Hello? Yeah, I think I got it. Can you hear me? Yeah, you sent it fine the whole time. All right. Jelly Roll and Bunny X-O's story began in 2015 when Bunny reached out to Jelly Roll after breaking up with her boyfriend.

Dude, what a fuck. He hit the home run. Breaks up with her boyfriend, hey, let me come over and gargle on those balls and wipe your ass after because I'm going to do a sloppy style, you big fat pillhead fuck. God damn. Wait, why? It probably feels so good to get high and you look over in your husband. in his jelly roll Hold on

Yes that's very funny I need you to think about this though Bunny XO wears diapers during her period Because of her heavy flow And finds them more comfortable Convenient than tampons or pads I don't know what is What happens to her buddy

I don't know That's what I'm laughing at What the fuck is going on What do you mean? How heavy is your flow? I ain't a woman I've had a penis My whole goddamn life

I ain't too happy with it But it's what God gave me What the fuck is happening I'm sure there's other women To do that too I've never heard that Never heard it But also I probably

Most people that do it Don't go telling everybody about That's probably Okay fair Very fair It's not a big part of their life That they like telling people about Not that it's

You guys need to be embarrassed Or anything But Yeah So think about I guess But yeah I mean

She probably could just put a towel in there or something. I don't know. I'm going to paint a little picture for you. Jelly Roll gets done with a hot summer concert in Tallahassee. And he gets back to the tour bus and bunnies wait in their form. And she peels off his size 46, Levi 501s, and his size 9 wide Air Jordans, the black and red ones. And peels those off. And then she like bends over and she's got the big diaper on.

And she's like, baby, I have my period this month, but I would love to gobble on your shit so sloppy that we have to do anal. Yeah, they probably for sure, do anal. They probably don't know which hole is which they do. No, God, it doesn't matter. They never figured it out. They never did. Yeah. Fuck.

What a sick-ass life, dude. And that's dope. I'm happy for them. People get mad at them because he fucking, whatever, but. A lot of guys... Get mad at Jelly Roll because they're jealous. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

A lot of guys who are basically Jellorroll just work at National Tire and Battery. And yeah, maybe they even got like a fucking tatted up blonde, like Tweeker Girl to fucking gobble their shit bomb pop style while wearing a diaper. But they're not, they don't got all the riches. They don't got the fame and fortune. fucking goddamn jelly roll brother I love you

I love you Mr. Jelly Row Hello Mr. Jelly Row Yes I've got an order of half a dozen plumpkins for jelly roll and bunny It'll be delivered by A gentleman called

M. Y. Mouth My name is My name is My mouth I'm here to live A six blamkins She's a big sweet boy

And his big fat wife So we can't let you On the tour bus M.Y We did get a call That you were coming But just want to let you know That it is Bunny's time

Of the month And she has her big diaper on It's paid to give her a Blumpkin I know And why? Believe me, six, I know him why I'm 100%. Oh, we're splitting it down the middle this time.

Okay, perfect. Three for gel, three for Bunny. Okay, Bunny is wearing the diaper. Jail just came back from his show in Puerto Ranzas. Okay, so he's a little swampy. He is saying that he doesn't want to. Okay, okay, very perfect. All right.

That's great, M. Y. Awesome. Okay, yeah, clear him on back. Okay. I take my teeth out. You look Well so here's how we want to do it So bunny does have to poop first

So we can go ahead You can start on bun And then I think Jelly Roll is still eating his loamane So we're gonna We're gonna do it that way, I think Okay I'll take my teeth out

I've got two dry sockets Just don't know where the teeth out But Like 30 minutes ago And Yeah, okay, so I'm just trying to get me to be bonkers. It can't really hurt. Yeah, okay, so, Bunny, here's M.Y.

You guys know each other. You know each other a long time. Hey. Hi. Hi. I'm Bunny. Yeah, that's Bunny X. So.

That's your pussy. It's just fine, M.Y. Although it is a little under the weather. Dry and flank. Like the Arizona desert. Oh, that's bad. You better get some mix of saliva and blood on there. I better get some bored and spit on that thing.

Okay, well, that sounds just about fine. I spit super hot right now because it's got so much blade in it. From my wisdom. Head of security was saying you just got your wisdom. wisdom teeth out, is that true? Yeah, they grew back. It has a camera, I guess. Wow, you're a medical marvel, M.Y.

I guess that's why they call you mouth. I have 32 wizened teeth. You're more of like an herbivore, okay? Eat a lot of roots, a lot of fibrous material. That doesn't come. Okay, that's okay. I have a largely Pussy and Cump and TickBased diet at this point

I don't know what you said We're kind of losing you I said I have a largely At this point Pussy and calm Diet And it's weak It led me in a very weakened state

Doctor said I have Cerval Pumpkin syndrome Oh um it's where my body's so full to come and shit that someday it'll cause me to get really full but not today right this makes me full okay that's good my peel a couple of diapers off look at what's down there and that's tummy of yours bit.

I'm going to do it. I'm not going to lie to you and why. I don't know how much I'm lacking how far this is going. Here it is. Jelly will stop wiping gear up a water over here. You show me a dick. All right. Here you go, partner.

Take a fresh look at this. Look at this. This shit makes me hard. She's grown back. Fuck. Yeah, remember me? I'm the boy with the mouth of bleeds.

Of course I remember you, man. Every time I come back to Puerto Ranges You're outside the tour bus Trying to give me half a dozen Blunkins Three for Bunny and three for old jail I like you because you always pray for me after That's true I know as soon as I come in that bloody mouth of yours

You're getting tons of prayers from me Yeah I'll be a lot way I am a veteran I did serve in a war after all Vietnam better In the Texas every day Vietnam, huh?

Yep, I thought 2016 Oh, okay, so you were there Yeah, you were there much later, okay Yeah All right, well Okay, so we got Bunn taking care of Yeah, she was

Brilliant Now, Jill is telling me that On the count of his Blood Pressure Medicine He is only able to accept two Blumpkins uh he and he will take the third on layaway but or he'll accept it a later date tack it on to the other next time he's in poor day

he's barely even bleeding though I know brother I know but kid kid kid rock is finishing up his set so if you're you know wanting to spare something for the kid ball with the bar as the kid say

you know what the bar as the kid's saying on me uh Yeah, it's fine as I can remember, I already sucked him off pretty good. Okay. I'm actually on his dinner insurance. Kid Rock? You're on Kid Rock's dental insurance? I'm on Rock Health.

That's something to be proud of, brother. I'm on kid care. That's awesome, man. I'm happy for you. Rock care instead. Rock care. Nasty motherfucker. I didn't like to weigh it the other terms sounded.

Yeah, I don't really care for that, either. I don't like to raise that sounded. I'm not going to lie to your mouth. As a head of security, I'm going to tell you, I don't care for you too much. That's one thing I could do to help. But just pull out whatever teeth I have left, cut a bunch of holes on my tongue, and give you a ride of your life.

Hey, listen, man I'm just going to say I'm very I'm very thankful that you would consider I tell you right now what I'm going to do I'm going to tie up my feet I'm going to slip off my wrist

put a bullet in my head and suck you clean the fuck off The OKC special Yes sir the okay c bombing special heard all right yeah now we're talking making me feel some type of mcvay motherfucker yes sir wow yeah kill kill yourself and suck his dick hashtag 2025 ladies kill yourself and suck his dick 2025 they're taking my wheelchair away the wheelie me away bye bye

oh fuck i'm so it's just like i'm just imagined like a really like a please please donate to my uh please donate to my cash app like black twitter account and suck his dick and kill yourself 2025 ladies if you're not killing yourself and sucking his dick you're not servicing your man speaking of that shit we don't have an ad read do we no we don't have an ad read do we no we don't I haven't had right out there. No, far as I know. Okay, well, that's good. You know, if there's one guy who's been checking his emails every day.

Yeah, I'm supposed to do something for them that's pretty important, and I haven't done it yet. I need to do it. I need to. It's okay. Take your time. Yeah, I have been taking my time. It's a problem. That reminds you of, you've probably been listening to that logic song lately.

I know. I've been taking my time. I'm going to have a time. It's fine He's He's I didn't know that Halsey was part black

Had no idea Her dad is half Which is hilarious to me Because It's Halsey Okay So you think black people Can only make

A certain kind of music Is that what you're saying? No Halsey is kind of the standard issue like you meet a girl like in college and she really likes Halsey and then she kind of like almost

slashes your tires or something like that you know what I mean like it's one of those types of deals I'm not familiar with her it's it's like she was in that chain smoker's song was fucking uh baby hold me closer in the back seat of you whatever the fuck yeah yeah

that's nice good for her yeah anyway She's biracial Celebrity, I think Probably, yeah Yeah, I think she's dated A white guy You know

It's something that my mom Halsie boyfriend How's the relationship That way if she's been With whoever she's been with We'll see Halsey husband We should do more gossip columns

I would love to do I see that was the guy That was the guy that I remembered She's also been with Maddie Healy And Machine Gun Kelly She's been with like every white rapper Um Yeah I mean that tracks

Every white rapper but I guess a few of them Um Anytime that a male celebrity has a wife That's also not famous My mom Thinks it's like the coolest thing in the world It's, like, pretty wholesome and kind of sweet. My mom would be like, do you know Matt Damon?

I'm like, yeah. He's married to a waitress. They've been married forever. He just married a waitress. He didn't even marry a model or nothing. She just worked. She was working at Chili's. Isn't that something?

I'll say, yeah. You know, Joe Rogan's wife, she's not an actress or nothing. She's just a lady. I don't know why it's such a thing for her. It's kind of nice. I think maybe in her mind, Like, she's always holding out hope, you know what I mean? That she'll, like, land, like, maybe a B-list guy or something like that, you know.

Which would be sick as fuck for me if my stepdad was like, Ben Affleck, get the fuck out of town. Yeah, I just looked up Matt Damon, wife, and this is the lady who clearly could have modeled or something. Yeah, she's very hot. She was, yes, like, she's crazy hot. But she was, she just was like she just worked in the service. Also, I want to say something. I think she was working in the service industry in L.A., which is, what you do if you're trying to be a model.

Same in New York. Like, any restaurant in, like, West Hollywood, like, your servers are like the fucking most beautiful people in the world. And you're like, what the fuck do you do? And they're like, I'm a fucking underwear model. And you're like, no, all right. Well, that's cool, man. I'm not gay or nothing, but we could pull it out.

We could just look at it if you want. All right, put it back. That's cool. Pretty thick and uncut. Swag. What are you Greek? All right, have a good day. Stuff like that.

Things like that. things of that nature I remember when I wanted to be an actor I thought about moving to New York and being in one of those working for one of those restaurants where all the Broadway people work where they sing songs and stuff

and then I went to one and I said if I worked here I would kill myself so I decided not to do that also I say that like I would have been accepted there's like a lot of auditions for that type of shit and I'm not particularly good at anything so I probably

wouldn't have made it either but yeah The fuck It would have been really stiff competition You would have never made it Even if you put your mind to it You could have never been a singing waiter Yeah

I mean I can do a pretty good Frank Sinatra I think it could be a singing waiter Jake You know how you think you can be a fucking People want to work at the singing restaurant I think you could still work at a singing restaurant If you wanted to I also think that's a stupidest Fucking

I wanted to be on Broadway I thought that would have been cool But if I needed another grown man And he's like guys seeing at the restaurant I'd be like oh six Is there anybody else here I could talk to I do remember It's funny

It's funny you say that Because like I'm not kidding man Like from like 16 to like I had this like two year period Where I was like all right I'm just gonna go to New York And like I'm gonna fucking audition for shit And like I'm gonna fucking be like a Broadway actor

and then maybe I'll try to be in the movies or something, you know. And I went to New York, I had, like, saved up some money for work, and I, like, flew to New York with a friend. And we, like, saw Broadway plays in, like, you know, like, musicals and stuff. And then we ended up, like, at a bar where, like, they were having, like, a rap party for, like, an off-Broadway, but, like, a nice production play.

And, dude, I don't know what it is about, like, actual actors. I like acting. It's fun. And I thought I wanted to do it. But every time I interact with people who really want to do it, I want to immediately, like you said, I need to find a new group of people interact with it. And it's like,

it's been happening. And I guess more than going to like, I just walk around California when I'm in town, whatever, when I was opening up for Ben and shit, a few times we did shows there or if I'm doing whatever the fuck there. And inevitably, you know,

you meet somebody and you're like, I wish that they would just drop a nuke on this motherfucker, man. What are you talking about? Who the fuck is Stan is Slavsked? What the fuck is it? You talk about method acting? I have a belly full of cores and vikin. Get the fuck out of here.

I don't give a shit about this stuff. Method acting isn't real. It's not real. If you have to become an alcoholic to pretend to be one, that's not acting anymore. You're just an alcoholic. If you have to, I don't know. That what you were saying? No, I just think, I mean, I haven't met that many.

theater kids or whatever I met a guy specifically and he was a singer the singing waiter singing server I would think there's probably a guy

who's angry about a lot of things that he doesn't want to talk about it. Yeah yeah yeah a hell of your own creation um fucking what's his face from who's up was a fucking ballet

superstar that shit was Clay, that was badass, dude. That was fucking cool because I remember I used to knew a couple of dudes who did that shit and they were gay as the day as long. But I had heard from somebody, yeah, a girl that was in ballet was like, oh, all the straight guys from, you know, that are at do ballet

get like mad pussy. And at the time, I was like, cool. Maybe I will start doing more musical theater to get more pussy. And then I did more musical theater and all that happened was I met a lot of gay guys and a lot of bipolar women. So it didn't really work

out for me in that way. I mostly just, I don't know, met people who I do not talk to. What is something wrong with, with, um, yes, men and women who want to be actors?

No. I'm just saying I have a close to 10% success rate and interacting with them. And I'm sure people feel that way about me. I want to be a comedian. I am a comedian. You know what I mean? Like, including myself,

there's just something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. People who, um, there's just a lot of people I meet that I don't like, but I don't know. I'm not very misanthropic. Not like, not like in a like, oh, I hate you way, just in like a, yeah, not my couple. Right, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't really like to do the misanthropic, like, oh, people suck. Because honestly, the older I get, I do enjoy having conversations with people. people just about anybody because people's lives are like really interesting to me the older than I get like oh shit you make shoes and your dad was a clown what the fuck you know what I mean I made a dude uh in Cedar Rapids at a Cedar Rapids show

his dad was a for real carnival strong man like like one of the guys with a twirley mustache and the fucking leotard his dad was like had him when he was super old but when he was in younger in the 50s and 60s he was a carnival strong man he's still huge I forget the guy's name Chris some he showed me a picture

his dad had him when he was like 68 his dad's like almost 90 or something but his dad was was like he would like travel with the freak show and he would do feats of strength and he had the fucking gold leotard and he was bald and had the torley mustache and I would have never met that

motherfucker had I not just fucking hung around the club hung around the bar after the show and drink beer and fucking talk to people That's badass, man That is cool Strongman is a very It's a cool I mean it's cool

If you're a strong man now That's cool Or what else Like if you're a professional arm wrestler That's sick dude That's so sick I think being a professional arm wrestler is badass It's like being a professional bowler

You're like what? You know? Yeah Man I smell like fucking shit dude I haven't showered and fucking forever What else? Yeah being a professional bowler is cool Even if you're nerdy or whatever

Like in fact the nerd you are as a professional bowler the cooler it is yeah yeah yeah well could arm wrestler like if you're like a quiet reserved big t-shirt guy yeah that's pretty funny

yeah yeah if you're not if you're if you're just kind of like a little bit fat also like if you're not like a you know no for sure I know exactly you're not like a sinewy guy you're just like a you look like a regular guy and you happen to be

you know you're probably not the best but it's just something you do. Yeah, yeah. I respect that. It's okay. You can probably beat everybody in the bar. That's a cool bar trick. You know what I mean?

You just out arm wrestle every motherfucker. I used to try and do that shit, and it was never particularly very strong. I lost an wrestling match to a 62-year-old man. Bro, you've got to be careful with those. In the prime of my, like... Lifting career. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was not like, oh, man, he technically beat me. It was like... He swamped you? Yeah, he was running laps around me I mean, even with him being a bigger guy It was like It should have been a much

Closer race You know what I mean But I mean I wasn't really torn up about it I was just like oh wow A whole different world out there I remember when I Was training at this boxing gym in Austin It was sparring day

So everybody geared up And I got matched up with this This old, bald, big-ass beerbelly black dude in a huge red big dog shirt and little, like, black shorts that, like, almost went up to, like, his nuts. And he took off his, like, like, litter, like, unks shoes and then put his boxing shoes on. And I was like, oh, like, I don't know why I thought this. I should have seen all the signs. I should have seen all the signs. But in my mind I was like

Oh this is one of those guys He's probably a part-timer He was coming in to like stay in shape And you know Throw hands with the young guns And you know Just let out some of the fucking Stress of being in a fucking

Probably a grandpa or like a dad You know That old black fat bastard Beat the fucking shit out of me For 12 rounds Beat the fucking Absolute dog dick Out of me

Bad Fucking fuck me up dude Body head body body body It just fucking Whoop me in the pocket at range beat the fucking shit out of me and then come to find out he's fucking visiting from like two cities over he's the fucking coach over there but like dude he looked like fucking if you're you see friday and next Friday you know the dad

that has diarrhea all the time and his only joke is he has to poop that's who he looked like but with a bigger fatter belly dude and and like in my mind same with you there's arm wrestling thing like I see this guy hobble onto the gym on to the gym floor and then like hoist himself up into the ring and I'm like and we got mad matched up together like purely by luck everybody was like find a partner and uh we were just some of the last ones we were like lolly gag and i was distracted he's old and so i waved him over and he was like i'm old and you take it easy on me and i was like oh yes sir and in my head i was like i ain't taking it easy on you motherfucker this is dog eat dog and fucking fucking he just from round

one to round he just fucking beat the fuck out of me dude bad and one of the worst ass i ever took and then after i was like you box before he's like bah i'm i teach over i coach over Lord's, Jim. I was like, you could have fucking open with that. I mean, and the whole time he's like doing, he's giving me like, he would like hit me with this like fucking slick, stiff-ass jab and he'd be like, uh-huh, got you. Like, he's giving me like unc noises. He's like hitting me like black unk at the grill.

He's like, you see that? He's like turning the meat over only he's just like ripping me the body. Whomp. Yeah, yes. Yeah, dude, he's like, that's a nice one. Yeah. Or if I would land on him, he'd be like, hmm. I'm like, no, you can't

You can't make that noise Oh yeah Like how Jesus Christ Beat the fucking shit out of me, dude I'm black and I'm gonna come I hit him in the note Double jab He just goes, I'm black

I'm black Yeah Yeah, yeah yeah It's like crime like what the Oh shit I'd be jazz so bad I turn you black. This is your first time being black, or you...

I'm like all scared. Yeah, fuck. I'm black. I'm black. Imagine the guy punches you in the face and he says, I'm black. Yeah, that's what's getting me. Just hit you with a mean cross. I'm black.

Yeah, yeah, you just got hit by a big, fat, black old man. Oh, fuck. Black, I'm fat, not my old bitch. Oh, man, that was awesome. I hope he's, I hope sometimes he tells a similar story about sparring a fucking literally translucent pale, all legs, trans woman maybe? I don't fucking know. I beat the hell out of a tall lady at the gym.

I, I whooped her ass. He was fucking cool as fuck. I don't remember his name. Daddy, Ever, Everett, Ev, maybe something like that. He had one of those short, short for a longer black guy named nicknames. Ev, you know, Bo. And then later on you find out the name's Bo Seifus, and you're like, come on, man, you can't. Evanescence.

Evanescence, Bocephus. Championship boxer from Tuscaloosa. My name is Evanescence Bo Seifas. I'm I'm from Evanescence, Bocifis. I am from Paris. I am Black. I'm Black.

I'm Black. I'm... I'm... I'm... Black. I'm called Evanescence... Blah. ...I'm called Evanescence Bocephus.

I'm black. My professional kickboxer Paris, yes, we're blare. Oh, man. I don't even want to fucking, I don't even want to fucking know anymore, man. Oh, dude. What time is it? I had to fucking go to Austin.

The fight next month? Yeah, yeah, yes. I am about 15 pounds away from when I start cutting like water so I guess I guess I effectively Patty Pimbleded myself

because every time I see my coach and I'm pretty fucking I'm not like dick skin lean but I'm pretty fucking lean and he'll tap my belly and he goes fat and I'm like bro what

and he's like 155 and I'm like dude 155 and he's like like yes and I'm like but I'm 178 and I'm like you know like I'm fucking I guess I have more to fucking lose but it's just like I mean you weigh in at 155 you don't fight at 155 like I would weigh in 155 when I would fight last time I weighed in last time I fought I waited at 170 and then I fought at like 175 and the other motherfucker was huge so I get it

you know what I mean it's just thinking about that number at my height is crazy you know what I mean like it doesn't make any sense like I told Ashley and she was like you can't weigh 20 or 30 more pounds of me like you can't like you can't only weigh 30 more pounds of me and I'm like it will only be for like an hour and then I have to like eat food and drink water I'm gonna die but yeah yeah yeah yeah uh yeah I still tan I missed up bad because I got a I got to be 265 I got to be 265 and addicted to opiates Dana called me he says Tom I got I got the heavyweight title.

All you need to be is 300 pounds and addicted to heroin. That's it. I'm sending you a credit card and it works on filetio fish. Filetio fish. And this is how I talk. What's up, motherfucker? I'm black. Dana Black.

Oh, man. I'm Black. I'm Dana Black. I'm Dana Black. I'm Dana Black. And I'm going to make it too So you can't watch the UFC Unless it's on a TV in the car

I've been working with Elon I've been working with we gonna make it tour You can only watch the paper review in a car You can't watch it on the phone Yeah I'm Dana Black I'm selling a TV It only shows my shit And it's got carpet on it

I've been working with that Eagleron, motherfucker, and we're going to put a fucking TV and a Buick Regal and you only watch UFC on that shit, motherfucker. I'm having a TV that's got my shit on it.

It's called Dana TV. We're going to make all the fights for it. I'm going to lose $100 billion. We don't make all the pay. Paperviews free for one year. I think they are doing that, actually. And we're going to stop paying the fighters so much.

We're going to stop paying them at all. We're going to stop paying the fighters. And we're going to make all the fighters black. Oh, my name ain't Dana Black. Real good news for a few fighters. If you already have a lot of money, this will not. affect you too much you're a fighter and you are already black

this is for you we got to level the playing field we got to level the playing field we got to make all we got to turn you guys black we got to I'm sorry we got to turn y'all black

fuck oh my god dude if you're listening to this that means that it's free and I want you guys to head on over to patreon.com slash bandahoe time and toss us a little bit of money.

A dollar gets you access to the Discord. Five bucks did you access to a backlog of audio episodes plus a bonus every week. $10 a month gets you access to backlog of video episodes plus video episode. I know I have been slacking on those, but I think I'm done going to the doctor as of next Monday. So I'll be able to produce and book more guests. I have had a spell of some doctors telling me that it's over and some doctors telling me that I'm chill.

And so So I think I'm going to probably get the last fucking final decision on that Monday And then if everything's fucking golden geese I'll get back to recording shit for you guys For the primos and the honchos So thank you for your patience If you are in motherfucking Milwaukee Chicago or Detroit, September 25th, 26 and 27th

That is a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, respectively Please buy tickets Linktree.com slash Pendejo time Please buy those tickets I want to see fucking sellouts across the goddamn board. We got a couple weeks. I got my motherfucking plain tickets. And in exactly two weeks, we will be in your city

getting motherfucking liddy-titty. And actually, I don't know if I'm allowed to drink alcohol. So I might be fucking not a cool hang, and I might be drinking a bunch of club soda, and I might be fucking really pissed off. But if that's the case, maybe you can tickle me, and we can have a good ass time. I'm doing stand-up next week, 17th, and 18th,

at Corner Bar and Velvita Room. if you want to see that. Check out the Instagram Pada Time Worldwide. Follow us, Jake Rhodes and Leno Killer on Instagram. Listen to drunk uncle. Thomas, you got anything?

No, not at the moment. Swag. Motherfucker. All right, bye y'all. Peace.