Pendejo Time - Fuck Shit International LLC

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

Well we tried to do an in person episode but Thomas' mic picked me up and the room echo just got screwy so if you can bear to listen to it, it is free to a good home. Support the Show.

Hello. How you doing, man? Man, I just, you know... I'm waiting until... It's my fault for leaving it unlocked, my car. But I'm waiting until you leave so I can, like I said, just put my head through every piece of sheetrock in my house. I'm already looking at stuff to replace what I lost.

But yeah, you know, just sometimes in life, you know, you go to get chicken wings and you're having a good time and you record a video episode and then you wake up and all the trash in your car has been put to the front seat of your car and

you know. Yeah, at least I didn't take the trash. Yeah, it would have been really, I think, one of the most embarrassing things that could happen is if somebody, like, fucking breaks into your car, you know, fucking rummages around in your shit, and whenever they leave it, it looks better than before they broke it. One of my friends, like, I don't know why I expected, like, my lifelong friends to be like, man, I'm really sorry about that.

Yeah. Because, like, that's what strangers say. But you know a guy 10 years, my best friend in the whole world from back home, he goes, did they clean your car out? And I was like, I was mad. I was really mad. I was like, fuck you. But then I was like, a guy you kind of know says,

hey man, my condolences. A guy that you've like, you guys have fist fought each other is like, I'm kind of mad they didn't steal it and drive it off a fucking bridge you'd retook. A guy you've known forever is like, I wish they would have cleaned it out for you, maybe ran it through the wash.

So anyway, that would have been funny, but the stealing the like the socket wrench that i kept in my in my in the in the in the like the glove compartment and like the owner's manual and then like taking the one book i carry that book around so like on trips i have something to read it was like covered in like old red bull and shit. I'm just like, man, like why did they pull the seat up too? Like they like, like what is it? What do you think's under there?

They stole a couple of porky shirts. I'm just like, I'm like, what do you, I'm a man. Okay. Here's the scenario I've been playing in my head. When I was out there, I was trying to call my, call my apartment complex. They open like 40 minutes. A guy walks into a pawn shop.

He's got a... By the way, I don't really wash my hand wraps or my gear all that much, so he's carrying around a gym bag that smells like fucking dick and balls. My cup isn't in there. My compression shorts, my tie shorts. So walks in, denim jacket with a bunch of patches on,

stinky gym bag into like an Austin Pond shop. They've got like $2,000 Telecasters. And he's like, all right, what can I get for this? And the guy's like, for what? And he's like, professional kickboxing gear. My friend gave me this. He's Jean-Claude Van Damme. And then this jacket belonged to Kurt Russell.

So like seven grand would be like what I'd be willing to part with it. And he was like, no. So he'd keep going, going to different pawn shops and resale shops. Like I'm going to go like Monday or whatever to like the pawn shops around here and the thrift stores and see.

Pawn shops will take anything. They're supposed to be like, hey, they're supposed to ask questions, but they don't. And so I'm like, wait, I'm going to walk in and it's just going to be hanging up on the wall. Imagine pawn stores, but they only accept hot items.

It's like theick's up there in this fucking you know crack heads like yeah man i found like half a tire in my in my friend he said i can't go take it he said go take your time because it's gonna be big it's all I got he's dead the only thing I remember but I need $700 now and Rick's like well let me and he goes to the interview

he's like you know I've seen some items like this before and I honestly think this is we might have struck gold

he's like I'll give you $900 for this but that's it and he's like I need oh thanks man he's like, I'll give you $900 for this, but that's it. He's like, I need it. Oh, thanks, man.

At the end, they're like, we scored one hell of a deal today. It's like a donut, the jacket. It's like a crushed up Red Bull can, my kickboxing gear, the socket wrench I had, all my bits, a pair of old running shoes, a pair of underwear. Rick's like, you know, sometimes you you get we had treasure come in here stolen pirate treasure I'd had it under his bed he was an anthropologist never thought it was worth anything I told him get the fuck out of here I'd never seen anything

so useless in my life but something occasionally God sends something your way to dirty Red Bull cans a bunch of underwear with poop stains on it, a kickboxing cup, some gloves, and a denim jacket with a bunch of gay patches on it. And you realize that, you know, that's why you're in this business. We brought an expert in

because I know a lot about, you know, paper plates that have fuck you written in sharpie and like the hood of like a 97 crown big and like some headlights that are cracked but like they still work but also like the wires have they weren't like taken out properly like yeah but these are all collector's items the other day we spent actually about 20 grand on a collection of uh those fish skeletons from the

alley and uh tom and jerry yeah they used to play like xylophones sometimes yeah you know because those go for a lot nowadays well you know it's not every day that somebody walks in with a um not every day somebody walks in uh with a uh black and decker power drill that hasn't had a battery pack hooked up to it in five years and a pack of camel turkish rolls that sat under a car seat for since the car was purchased so they're stale and they're all yellow looking but you know when i started this business in 1983 i said these are the things. When you're a pawn shark, this is what you're looking for. Piss-covered compression shorts and just fucking cum rags. That's what you're buying.

That's what you're in the business for. Today we made some pretty good deals. I got an eight-foot A-frame ladder and the cord of a lawnmower and also a fine gentleman came in with about 16 license plates. I don't, like, we were talking about it earlier, but, like, I'm just, I don't go out really anymore. Yeah, I mean, obviously. Yeah.

But I know that I'm not going to be able to think rationally if, like, in six months I'm out on the town and I see the jacket. What's going to happen is the jacket's going to get sold. It's going to get sold for maybe $200 or $300 because it's not worth that. But with the patches and the way the hipster shops work around here, they'll sell it for that. And I'm immediately going to see red. And I'm just going to sprint head on into the guy or the girl maybe and just smash my head into their body at mock speeds. And then they're going to be like, why the fuck do you just do this to me? And I'm like, that's my jacket. You stole it. And they're

going to be like, I bought this at a Buffalo exchange in Austin. I'm going to be like, no, you stole it out of a Nissan Altima. And they're going to be like, no, I'm five, two and a buck 10. I don't know how to get into cars and I'm like no that's not how it works anybody can steal anything and today is your day of reckoning and then the police are going to tase me and shoot me a bunch and I'm going to die but I will have caught the perp yeah we love catching perps

yeah I love smoking perp and catching perp baby oh man that's fucking good yeah yeah Yeah, we recorded some video stuff. What is this one, by the way? I guess this can be the primo.

Yeah, I guess you're right. You pigs get whatever we throw at you. Because we love you. We love you so much. Hey, man, don't hit that. While we're... Stop. He's...

He's going to fuck it up now. He's got to spit on it. Jake's been giving me a blowjob this whole time. No. No, I'm kidding He's spitting on it He's getting that double hand You ever see a boy with Down Syndrome

Eat a bomb pop That's kind of what it'd be like When she'd get up on it Yeah Anyway That's kind of what it'd be like when she'd get up on it. Yeah. Anyway. You know, it's one of those things you can take, like, as far as you want, but, like, it's, I mean, it's, like, 12, 30 p.m., you know, I'm not looking to... Do Down Syndrome Bomb Pop stuff this early?

Yeah, it's Easter, man. No, it's not. It's fucking... I'm operating on full ceilings. I'm behind. I'm skipping my family celebrations for this. syndrome bomb pop stuff this early? Yeah, it's Easter, man. No, it's not. It's fucking Easter. I'm operating on full ceilings. I'm behind. I'm doing my family celebrations for this. Really? Yeah.

I mean, that seems like it's on you. Dude, it's not my fault that I'm a businessman. Yeah. I think I'm going to take it. We're getting holiday pay for this, by the way. Patreon gives it out. Yeah, if you want to take it. We're getting holiday pay for this, by the way. Patreon gives it out. Yeah, if you want to pay us holiday pay, pay more. Get the John Wayne Gacy pricing, I guess.

You just pay $750 this month. Yeah, just, yeah. Minimum wage, you know what? That's $725. Yeah. That's what the thing should be. And then there's a $15 one. I think minimum wage should be zero because he should actually have to work for a while before he starts.

You know what? I'm kind of glad my car got stolen and stuff from stolen. No, the car didn't get stolen. But, you know, I'm kind of glad that they stole stuff because I'm a hustler. And all it does is make me like, I'm going to have to hustle to get that money to get that stuff replaced. And that's why I'm broken. Yeah, I was talking about it. It'd be funny.

Next time you come to visit, you're wearing it. And you're like, man, I just picked this up somewhere. Yeah. And I know that for a fact, those resale shops. I found a dollar bill in jackets I bought from thrift stores and movie tickets. Whoever buys that is going to reach in and there's going to be

like dispensed jewel pods in it and like Snickers wrappers and like parking tickets and shit one time I found like this badass jacket I put it on

put my hands in the pockets and there was like a tissue with like a huge booger on it I almost killed myself that's gross I uh

I've like found like yeah like movie tickets like old ones it was pretty cool it was like a movie ticket I bought a vintage jacket and there was a movie ticket from like the 80s in there

um but yeah I don't know if this is all this episode is gonna be about I'm sorry I just can't you know

like like I said once Thomas leaves I'm gonna pull my fucking bottom jaw off like a monkey. Speaking of monkeys, dude, that was dog shit. Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, I later found out that the zoo we went to is currently under investigation for animal torture. That's not a joke. It is after we went there. Yeah, so.

Yeah, all the, we walked in and there was this. Not a capuchin, it was like a. Marmoset. No, it was the big, it looked like a skunk monkey. That's what I'll call it.

It was like a lemur. That wasn't a lemur. It wasn't a marmoset. Marmosets are little bitty things. The one we saw that was like... Yeah. That motherfucker had a big old white and black tail. He's a big boy.

I don't think he was a fucking... Alright. Well, he wasn't... He looked like he was ready to kill himself. Yeah, he was thinking about the end. Yeah. And that lion was just pacing back and forth and he was like... That lion was too suicidal to even want to kill us. Yeah, he was just pacing back and forth and he was like that lion was too suicidal to even want to kill

us yeah he was just like every animal was like on their perch just like i saw a bengal tiger that was just like a majestic king of the jungle it was an albino bengal tiger they're just a white tiger i i thought that the bengals were there like that's their albinism they're normally like an orange color right they're white I know

so that it's a white tiger yeah man I wonder if they're like circus stuff like rescued circus animals yeah

I don't know all I know is those fucking parrots about about baby shit. They were loud, too. The motherfuckers were like, yeah. The cages for these animals were like the size of a shed. Yeah.

It was kind of sad. I feel like if you're going to keep a bird captive. A bird that size? I'm very against bird captivity in general. With the exception of like when there's a big ass oil spill yeah

they all get fucking murked but like whenever you put like a rare fucking macaw or whatever

and the cage is like 12 feet tall at the most and it's got like 10 feet to fly back and forth. It's like,

how do you like do that and then like keep living with yourself? I imagine if you're in a sanctuary, you're like, I'm sanctuarying them. Yeah.

I mean like, Like you tell yourself that. I mean, if it's like pigs and they're in, the pigs were in like, The pigs are chill though. Yeah, they were in pretty big enclosures.

Like they lived pretty much regular pig lives. Yeah, like just short of being slaughtered up for meat. The peacocks and shit were like basically could just walk around and do whatever. I don't think they really cared. Yeah. But like you put a fucking tiger in a place the size of your yard? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

It's fucked up. Come on, man. This guy, we were looking at the lion that was just pacing back and forth. He was, like, huffing and puffing. And, like, it was already depressing. And then Thomas was like, you know that these things, like, in the wild they they they run like they operate like a hundred square miles like if that's their shit and it made me think that like if you're like if your biological instinct is to like you have land that you like in like a whole harem

and then all you have is like what do you think the square footage on that enclosure was I mean like 2003 yeah like that's your that's what you're working it was like it was literally the size of like a nicer suburban backyard yeah yeah and there were like five rocks in it and like a big ass line it comes in there it's like oh cool i have a tired toy and like this makes up for having a good life yeah a ladder that i can climb up and climb down and while i think about killing myself i have a ball that i can play around with with a string on it that i definitely don't think about just ripping his head off yeah well i wonder if they like hey what's up igor hey what's up

running a doing the sorry we're doing a podcast stuff. This is my roommate, Igor. Yeah, fuck that line. Just kidding. I hope he gets out and gets free. Yeah. He and his homeboy was in there, too. Yeah, the Bengal tiger.

There's no cameras. It's just mics. Yeah, we're not videoing. Yeah. Honestly, man, you can take my place on this one. I'm good. I'm sorry for what? Yeah, do your you can take my place on this Yeah, do you think man Yeah, yeah look at like see if you can find stuff just fucking kill him Slavic power Yeah, like I

Also, like I was noticing that like a lot of the... There were no bears. The bear enclosures said vet. Animal gone due to vet. And I was thinking, I know bears that are in the zoos and sanctuaries go to the vet. But what type of veterinarian... What kind of sack do you have to have to be like, alright. I'm used to dealing with Bichon Frises and Pomeranians and fucking little fat bulldogs and pugs. They have like wildlife vets. Yeah, I know.

But it's funny in my mind to imagine like maybe that guy was busy. It's like, hey man, am I working on like a cat today or like a fucking whole hurt like a fucking pack of wolves? Yeah. Like a fucking pack of wolves. Yeah. Like that picture that somebody sent in Ape Chattelwall back. They had a group of surgeons working on that big ass silverback. I don't know what they were doing.

It was just a picture of a silverback that was getting surgery. And I think it was Eli at Rock and Roll Photos. It was like, hope you don't wake up. It got me thinking. Humans wake up during surgery. It's not super common, but sometimes the anesthesia just doesn't take. I woke up when I was getting my wisdom teeth out. No, I never woke up during surgery. They brought the fucking hammer down when I did it.

Oh, really? I mean, it wasn't like I woke up and I was just like, oh, yeah, I'm ready to go for a walk. You just kind of came to? I was like, ah, what the fuck?

Ah, and felt something in, like, the back of my head. I was like, ah, and they were like, oh,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Which isn't annoying. Usually you want a surgeon. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, there, buddy. Yeah. Damn, I'm fucking. yeah yeah which isn't a noise that usually you want to surge oh shit oh fuck holy everybody yeah

damn I'm fucking give him the rest of it whatever yeah I I like remember like looking at that picture

and I'm like you know you're like you're doing something to the silverback you're like fixing him up and you're like

you see his eye like slowly open and his fist clench and then you just black out something to the silverback you're like fixing him up and you're like you see his eye like slowly open and his fists clench and then you just black out and then you wake up on a hospital bed you're like you woke up after you've done gorilla surgery and a bunch of gorillas were doing surgery on you that's you know so that's like you know they're a bum but that's like... You know, we... Some big philosophical questions you have to ask. You know, you look at how society's moving. Freaking dog can marry a cat nowadays.

I know, man. You never know. It's just a bunch of freaking crap, man. There was a guy I worked with at the bar. He was the bar manager at this pizza joint i worked at bj's and he was one of those like because i get really good ones all the time yeah from from girls really no i thought you had a girlfriend yeah one girl stop dude this is the used to be the one episode she listens to she calls me and she's like hmm

anyway he was like he was one of those like dude i can identify as an attack helicopter like you right you know like because people can identify you know like it's so crazy this world is so fucked up dude and i was like when we were at work one day and i just was really hung over and i was like i can call myself a dog and i was like yeah man you can and that's like not the response those guys want they want you to be like yeah man that's so fucking stupid like people calling me but i was like yeah you can like you you can go you can be cat too if you want you can be like a ladder like you can call yourself whatever you want like no one cares that's kind of like the purpose of the thing like yeah like it's like just it's not a big deal like i get making the mistake sometimes but like and he was like well like but i'm not one i was like i

know that you're not a dog but if you want to be one like like there is not a person alive who gives a fuck i don't he was like man i just get back to work, man. And I was like, I was like, it was also like nine in the morning. I'm like, is this what you were thinking about? Like when I'm in my car on the way to work, I'm just thinking about killing myself. Yeah.

Were you on the way? Yeah. Yeah. When you're on the way here, you're like, there are men dressing like women and women dressing like men. And that's what I think. Like you're,

you're leaving your apartment. You're about to go work a double. And like, dad is what's on your mind. I think. Like, you're leaving your apartment. You're about to go work a double and like, that is what's on your mind. come on, like, dude, just think about your paper.

Get your paper up. What do you, what do you, like, why is this what you're thinking about and way to fucking work? Which leads me to believe that these people who have these like,

little like, personal grievances against like, identity or whatever, either they, A, have some of their own shit going on that's unresolved and they just like mock it or b they just like it angers them the way that like

stubbing my toe angers me it's not a big deal but when i do it i get unreasonably mad like flat tires it's just little shit that like other the real shit in my life that pisses me off like i choose the little stuff to get mad at because I can control those things as opposed to like big shit, which I can't control. Or they're just retarded. That's also like another. Yeah, that's always a real possibility. Yeah. Like that.

I'm thinking I'm trying to psychoanalyze this one guy that I worked with four years ago. And it's way likely that he's just like an embittered 45 year old like you know sexual predator or something yeah I mean there's like I don't think there's that much redeeming to be done like you know yeah it's not like oh you know what I bet he's secretly like a really fucking good guy

or like maybe he secretly has his own identity no it's probably that he just like sucks as a human being and I mean even if if he did has his own identity. No, it's probably that he just like sucks as a human being. And I mean even if he did have his own shit going on, it's like, okay, that doesn't mean you're like... No, yeah, no, I'm not saying it does. I'm saying like that would be a reason to be like, you know, I'm going to wake up today and I'm going to be a fucking M1 Grand from World War I. Ain't that right? And he's like putting lipstick on his car and he's like, I'm going to be a fucking M1 Grand from World War I. Ain't that right? And he's like putting lipstick on his car.

And he's like, I'm going to be a Panzer tank. You know? I'm like, dude, you know what, man? It's a world out there. And you can be whatever the fuck you want to be. We're being inspirational now yeah yeah

if you're listening and you have identity problems and you're thinking maybe you want to wear a dress to the target

to pick up some new bluetooth headphones and if you couldn't you know couldn't have put it better myself yeah i kind of kind of blitzed out there for a second yeah yeah um but you know you wouldn't put a dress on go to target to get some bluetooth headphones and and you just like that's and you want to look in the mirror and you want to see a pretty girl you You don't got to take it out on others, man.

Thomas told me the other day that he just he wears them and he says, man, I look so good. I could if I shave my legs. It would be funny if you just shaved your legs, but nothing else. Shave the beard or nothing. Or like, you know, just you're like, I want to feel like a lady. You put the dress on and you're like twirling around, but like waist up. You're like, yeah, I would need to shave my chest and everything.

Seems like a lot of work. You can do drag with a beard. I don't have the... Drag queens have a certain... Build? No, not necessarily. They have a level of confidence. Yeah, you're more right on that one.

I think people hate drag queens because they know they can't do that. Yeah, they can't. No matter where you lie in terms of, you know, you can't deny that drag queens are like, yeah, they own it. Yeah. No, I mean like. They're cool in the rocking out or whatever. Thomas is just trying to. Jake is giving me a look.

Yeah. Hey, I'm not. I don't. I'm not like particularly interested in the field in terms of. I don't know'm not like particularly interested in the field in terms of I don't know no it's just kind of

it does it's just like the way you were talking about it you're like like you're trying to not like you're just

trying to steer a ship through turbulent waters yeah no I'm not you know you're like they're great they're you know

they're and I just just do your thing or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Do your fucking, yeah. Yeah, man. I'm thinking about what to get for lunch.

I don't know about you. I don't know, man. I don't have much of an appetite. I'm probably going to grab lunch on the way home. Yeah. Because Jake hates eating. He doesn't eat breakfast and apparently not lunch either. All I've had was a fucking Larabar and some toothpaste

that I accidentally swallowed. Did my shower clog up when you used it? Yeah. Yeah, it's a fucked up shower, man. Yeah. I had to fucking, you know, just make the best of it. Yeah.

I couldn't even piss in there because I was pissing on my own feet. So, like, I couldn't even piss in there because I was pissing on my own feet. So like... Never mind. No, I'm good. Well, I think what we're thinking about doing is doing some video stuff

for you guys. Yeah, some striptease type. Yeah, so we're going to move the Patreon over to OnlyFans because they take a little bit less of a percentage than Patreon does. I think they take way more. I was lying for the purpose of the joke.

But thank you for ruining it. Yeah. OnlyFans takes a lot. Now, you can also do OnlyForFans or Fansly or you can do you know

there's a lot of platforms that are better for cribs ladies I don't particularly invest in your craft

but you know I always look to new horizons I was hoping to do this podcast on

chatterbait originally didn't work out cause Jake's been there permanently for I was hoping to do this podcast on Chatterbait originally. Didn't work out because Jake's banned there permanently for trying to hack the servers, but you know, that's his business. I try to stay out of it. I do my own thing.

Yeah. Well, I mean, the reason that I'm banned from Chatterbait and Omegle is because I would go in there and try to free a lot of the sex workers. Yeah. I would like use it like I would track their IP addresses and like I'm trying to save you. Like I'm trying to save you, you know.

And they'd be like, ah, you know, like they would do that. And I'd be like, no, listen, it's not like I'm trying to track you down and like hunt you like a trophy like elk or something. It's just like, you know, you're not supposed to be doing this. You're like, like you have so much that you could do. Yeah. You could go to community college and go to beauty school. You can be a server at Denny's or IHOP.

We're not talking law school here, but you can do a lot of stuff. I'll track their IP address and I'll find out where they are and I'll show up, but the warehouse will be gone or the apartment will be empty because while I'm tracking it, I'm tracking you I'm tracking

you I'm right now I'm saying it kind of creepy you know like I am saying it a little weird but your heart's in the right place heart's in the right place like you know it does it help that I'm like like carving into my skin with a razor blade when I do it like on cam and the girl's like please stop why can't I end this call why why why is my laptop, why is my address and my social security number blinking red on my screen? What's going on? And I'm like, that's just part of the game. It's just a part of the game. A lot of people don't understand.

Yeah, a lot of people don't understand. When you're trying to save someone from a sinful lifestyle, you have to go ape with it. Because a lot of people don't want to be saved. And I've saved so many girls i've uh i've saved like like 155 yeah i remember there was this one girl i was trying to save from sex trafficking yeah and she worked at this massage parlor and i you know i had my mask on i broke in I had the shotgun, and I was like, I'm here to save your life.

And she told me, she was like, I'm an esthetician. And I'm like... You have to get in the van. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't know what that is, but I feel bad for you. And she's like, no, I work here and I have a license. I do skin treatments and stuff and she's like I'm like I'm sorry

they're doing that to you but I can build a whole nother life for you you can work at Twin Peaks if you want you can work at O'Reilly's I know a guy

they probably won't let you be a cashier because you probably can't I don't want you to have to work with all the numbers and all that stuff about cars but like

you know yeah well I think you know like the problem with all the numbers and all that stuff about cars. Well, I think the problem with this country is that when you're a guy like me, when you've got a good heart and a good head on your shoulders like we do,

this country doesn't like guys like that. They want guys that are going to the sex trafficking massage parlors. They want guys that are on chatterbait to pull their penises out. But they don't want guys that will on Chatterbait to pull their penises out. But, you know, they don't want guys that will show up armed, you know,

to a massage envy with, you know, an AK-47, like, like drum mag, hollow sight, and, and, you know,

just start pumping rounds into all the guys there because they're there to sin. Yeah. And, and, and then when we, when you bag up all the ladies and you throw them inside a fucking unmarked Astro van and they're like, sin. Yeah. And then when you bag up all the ladies

and you throw them inside a fucking unmarked Astro van, and they're like, why? You know, they always ask that. And you're like, it's for your own good. I'm going to give you a new identity. I'm going to take you to Montana. You can work on a ranch. Do you like goats?

And they're crying and shit. But it's like, you know, they don't get it, because people don't want to be saved. You know, they don't want to be saved. You know, being a... I like to think of myself as like sort of like robin hood but like a lot like more handsome probably you're taller too yeah and like bigger muscles like yeah kind of a wiry build and more yeah he was just a big fucking kind of twinkish but you're yeah yeah not you right okay yeah look like you're about to throw the microphone at my head

no but yeah it takes courage to be a real patriot yeah and I think

you know I'm not like a lot of other guys because a lot of other guys they'll think about real stupid and patriarchal

stuff like Joe Rogan experience making money uh buying a house you know music me i think the only thing i ever think about is sex trafficking yeah and how to stop it not how to be a part of it no i'm obsessed with yeah because like a good guy yeah because people have called me like punisher for sex trafficking. Yeah, they've called me that. They've called me that because I go to these places and I'm here to punish everybody who tries to go to these places and do business here. Because places like Massage En envy and like you know like beauty

schools like that's a front like they're it's a front like when you go there when you go to like itt tech and you see people they're learning how to work on fucking cars and shit like they're being trafficked when you see when you go to fucking ulta to like get your girlfriends and makeup those girls don't want to be there what they they want is a guy, six foot and a half, pale, that smells bad, to come in wearing the same black denim jeans he's been wearing for three months and a pair of Walmart slides to start pumping round after round into managers and stuff and then to take them and free them. Yeah.

Yeah. And what they don't want is to keep living like, like, you know, keep living this lie where, you know, they're just, like, they're happy because that's what their traffickers tell them. You like this.

You like working at Ulta. Yeah, you, you like providing for your son. Yeah, yeah. It's like, no. No. That's not your son. That's classic brainwashing.

It's classic trafficker brainwashing. Yeah, yeah. You need to, you need to put me in, oh, look at me. I'm a big baby. I'm to put me in. Oh, look at me. I'm a big baby. I'm in the car seat. Oh, you can strap me up.

Now we're going to go get ice cream. Oh, I had a good day at school. No, you didn't. I'm at your house. I live here. And we're going to start a family that doesn't pay attention to what society wants. Because society wants fucking Will Ferrell to get a Netflix deal that he hasn't been worthy of in fucking 13 years. So I was talking about freeing the girls,

but you wanted to start a family with them? I didn't say anything like that. Okay. I was just making sure that you're... No, because I'll tell them. You hear that? That was my stomach. It sounded like a fucking whale.

Was that your stomach? That was my stomach. I tell them. I'll go to the places and I'll say, Baby, I love you. And I need you to understand that these people at the Marriott you to understand that these people

at the Marriott where you just have to fucking lay out the fake ass bagels and shit I don't think

hotels have real food no it's like replicas it's not even plastic it's like astronaut food it's not quite food yeah

I need you to run away with me in this stolen Tahoe yeah and we can start a new life I could buy you I couldn't buy you a house but we could save up

you'd give me 25 years yeah we can get a camper here's the thing you think you like this life where you're an ultimanager you probably make 15 an hour and probably go out with your friends on the weekends. And you have your own apartment. You probably think that you like that life.

But the life that like being free is being rescued from this hellish life that you live. And eating MREs on the side of the road and you know for the next 50 years with a guy who you know over time you'll see that I'm right you'll see that the life that you led before was you were trapped by sex traffickers it's really all of like American capitalism is just sex trafficking. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when I first kind of got free, and this was sort of a while after I kind of learned some lessons from Dave Ramsey. I used to go out to the middle of the field, and I'd point a 9mm straight up in the air. And I would try and get it perfectly straight. And I'd fire off 6 or 7 shots and just stand there.

And I knew if one of them hit me, it was because God hated me. And He didn't want me to be there anymore, and I'd sin. And guess what, motherfucker? I never got hit. So you freed yourself. I can't sin. I can do no wrong. And that's not what I say. I would never claim something like that.

That's what God told me. Yeah. I remember when I found out that my job was to free women from sex trafficking. Yeah. And I had eaten a bunch of mushrooms and i was watching family guy and uh at one point stewie turns to the camera and he's like hey there are a lot of girls that work at ulta and misogyny and they're prisoners of their own life i was was like, Stewie, what are you talking about? And he's like, you know,

whatever he says, like egad or like, you know, like bollocks or whatever. But anyway, like, he just went back to normal. But like, he spoke to me and I knew that was God's voice. And so I was like, okay, like for a while, maybe. It was the mushrooms, you know. But I realized like, no, Stewie in that moment was talking to me

and it was God talking to the television to me. And so that day next day i emptied my savings account maxed out on my credit card you know bought level 3a body armor bought a bunch of armor piercing rounds you know got in it got an astrofan got the ak got the ar uh and you know sidearms boot knives and i said i am going to dedicate my life to freeing women from sex trafficking. Because, you know, like these QAnon guys, they think they're part of it, but they're not. They're lying to themselves. They're LARPers.

Me, you know, I do the work. I do the Lord's work. I do Stewie's work. You do Stewie's work. I do, yeah. And a lot of people can't say that because they live their lives as prisoners. Almost, I'd say almost everybody. Yeah, I think of the almost 8 billion people on this planet,

I might be the only guy that can say that. But yeah, man, you know, and I don't try to get cocky. I think it's important for guys like us who do what we do. It's hard, because when you think about how easy it would be to be like, wow, I do so much good in the world. Where is my, when does something good happen to me? I mean, I do all this stuff and my car gets rummaged through, gets stuff stolen.

When does something good happen to me? But then you have to think about it. You're not, you don't do this for the rewards. You do it because it's the right thing to do. Yesterday, I was on the way here, and I had a profound thought. Let's hear it, man. I didn't really want to tell anybody. Oh, okay.

But it was profound. And that's the sort of thing that happens whenever... So it's a lot like in Harry Potter. Yeah. Where like, you've got your Severus Snapes. You've got your... Your Jelbys. You've got the girl who... You've got your Hermione...

Danger. Hermione Danger. Hermione Ganger. Granger. You've got them here. And then you've got that big-ass snake. Yeah. Tony. You know.

You've got... That's Nagini. I think... Is it? Yeah, it's Nagini. So you've got your Nagini. You've got your Voldemorts. You've got your Voldemorts and your Naginis.

You keep your Voldemorts to the right of you. You keep your Naginis to the left. Yeah, all my Naginis. Anyway. Anyway. I swear that's what it's called. Yeah, I think that is, but I never put two and two together at this moment. And it doesn't mean anything, by the way.

It doesn't mean anything. I wasn't even... But you've got your... Am I going to get in trouble? I think I'll get in trouble. You've got to stick with your Hermione's and you've got to cut some Nagini's off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that little Wayne song?

I don't know. I know what you're talking about. He's not in Harry Potter. Yeah, no, you're right. But I think he should have been. But anyway, yeah, you've got to... He should have been one of the... You've got to know who's your Harry's and who... Because there's not in Harry Potter. Yeah, no, you're right. But I think he should have been. But anyway, yeah, you got to – He should have been one of the – You got to know who's your Harry's and who –

because there's a lot of snakes. And you got to know, like, you know – like, you got to keep your circle small. You got to keep your circle small and your crook tall. Yeah, yeah. You really – yeah. But anyway, I want to get more out of the Nagini thing, but I feel like I'm riding on my –

No, we shouldn't. I feel like we just – anyway. I wasn't even trying to guide it towards there. Yes, you were. You made a space at me. No. No, I wasn't. I don't know.

Anyway. I don't know what you – what? Yeah. You know what, man like i'm sorry sometimes it's got like sometimes you you have like there's things you're lost in translation because you're thinking about all the people you saved it's lost in 10 cities lost intent lost in some you know sometimes you get lost in the translation and then you got sauce in the band's patient Yeah. Yeah. You get lost in translations in your bands keep you patient you know.

Yeah. I think I think I think Antonin Scalia said that. Yeah. Rest in hell. Yeah. Eat shit

motherfucker. You fat piece of shit. He. Big necked having ass fucking wop ass stinky butt

having ass bitch. What's up, people? What's up, Blair? There's, like, a really funny thing people do on Twitter. Hey, man, don't turn that light on or it'll mess up the...

... ... ... ... So, like, a politician who's, like, a piece of shit, right? Like Henry Kissinger. He's not dead yet or whatever. Huh?

I guess he... Was he ever like an elected official? He was like a State Department guy. I thought he was only ever like appointed to shit. Yeah, yeah. He was like a... He did a bunch of fucked up shit. No, I mean, I know he's only ever like appointed to shit. Yeah, yeah. He was like a... He did a bunch of fucked up shit. No, I mean, I know he's Henry.

No, he was never like a senator, I don't think. I think he was like a secretary of state or something like that. I don't remember. He was like the ghoul in the State Department. He like killed them. He was responsible for a bunch of deaths. When a guy like that dies, and by the way, they die at like 88 years old

and everything went right for them in their lives they had a storied career being a monster they got everything they ever wanted they stayed in power for decades and then they died of old age and guys on twitter are like haha you got yours motherfucker it's like they like reality bent around them like light for like 50 years. They're responsible for millions of deaths. They got what they want. Like when Scalia died, they were like, ha ha. It's like, nothing bad happened to that guy.

I mean, death, but like before that. Yeah, unless you die when you're like 25. Yeah, like if you become a Supreme Court justice and you influence policy that way, or like if you're a State Department ghoul and you kill a bunch of guys and a bunch of Chinese children or whatever and the CIA works for you or whatever, and you die at 90 in your whole career, like up until your death you were doing bad shit, like you did not get got. You won.

Yeah, that's my plan. Yeah. Well, you want to work for the State Department? No, I can't. I can't do that. I think I could probably get a job in like Brazil or something. Like somewhere in South America. My Spanish is kind of rusty because I've never learned any of it.

But I can say apple, mazana. I know how to say all of the bad words. Like from sitting in the bus in like eighth grade. Yeah, getting called everything. Yeah, getting called maricón and hoto and stuff like that. Which means, you know what those mean? Really cool and straight guy. Puto.

Badanji. Pendejo, brother. Anyway. Yeah, so I think what I want to do is I want to get a ghillie suit and I want to sit outside of my apartment in it. Yeah. Because you know what's like in a student apartment complex is random piles of seaweed and stuff like that. And I want to get a sniper rifle and i want to sit in front of my car and i want to leave the doors open and then when somebody comes to take my car or to go through the trash again and steal

whatever the hell else i live in there because i will leave it unlocked and i will leave more stuff in there there's no question about it i don't learn lessons in life i'm'm going to, like, shoot them, but I'm going to kneecap them. And then I'm going to come out of the ghillie suit in slow motion. And then Godsmack's going to play or something like, Hi! Stand alone! And I'm going to fucking, like, I'm going to, by the way, I'm going to be, like, 5% body fat at this point. Yolked.

I like the idea that, like, somebody gets shot at relatively close range in the knee with a sniper. With a.50 caliber. And then gives a fuck about anything around them. They're like, their whole leg gets blown off. And they're like, well that was weird. They're looking up and they're like, God damn. Fuck. That's fucking cool.

Yeah. No, you'd be like, Well, I imagine you'd go into shock pretty quickly. But I'm like, Yeah, you stole my jacket, motherfucker, and you put trash in my car that was already in there, but it was not how I organized it. And you, like,

it's payback time. And they're bleeding out because I blew their leg off with a Barrett 50 Cal. Yeah. Their leg is off. So I got about a minute to do my speech. But my speech is like, got your ass. And then I don't notice the getaway car is speeding towards me at 85 to 90 miles per hour.

And it launches me. It hits me head on. And it launches me like 20 feet. And then, like, some cold place song plays. I don't know. It's slow motion again. I have the ghillie suit on still and a hard hat. And it's like uh

Coldplay. Like whatever the fuck man. It's playing and then like I'm dead. And then it cuts to you and you have a tear rolling out down your eye. I don't think I'd be worried if a girl shot me. What do you mean you wouldn't be worried? I got it.

Shot you where? Shot me. You get center body masks, dude. You're done for. Nah, dude. I'm talking my talk. You feel me? I'll be like, hey, little mama. I know you just hit me with that sawed-off licky. You feel me i'll be like a little mama like i know you just i know you just hit me with that

saw it off licky you feel me like my my intestines are like leaking out of my body my knees yeah but like i can still free you from this life you do anything i'm a girl because i don't think i am i think it's game over, but, like, what was popping, you know? Me and my Naginis are going to go hang out later. You want to come with? Yeah, we can't. We got to go. I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm sorry. I wanted to get one more. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't. Hold on. All right, I'm good. Hey, I'm good. Hey.

I'm in a Did you just do like a magic chant? Like, should I be concerned? No, I was just coughing. I'm clearing my throat. I will be all me.. Clearing my throat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Clearing my throat. Remember DJ Cool?

No. Let me clear my throat. I do remember that. I do remember that. The best music ever where it was just like the same funk loop going for like two hours at a party. Yeah. And they were like, party people. Yeah, just like a clip from Soul Train.

Yeah. Everybody hop on the caboose. And it just looped for like seven to ten hours. And they're like, hey, ladies. And all the women for some reason. Yeah. Do you want a fuck? Okay.

Okay. I'm what I keep here for. Hey, fellas. Yeah. Do you want to hang out sometime? Maybe go see the game. Do you want a hang out sometime maybe go see the game yeah hey it would have been so funny to be a fucking two live crew back in the day but like a hype man for the two live crew or no like just add a show oh okay like by yourself yeah that would That would be, yeah. Hey fellas.

Yeah. Do you like it when she spit back on it with that mouth butter and get your balls rattling around and yeah.

Hey fellas. Yeah. Do any of you possibly drive a two-door red coupe and you are parked illegally

and you are double parked. And you are getting towed currently outside of Madison Square Garden in the parking lot on Lot FB. Yeah. Yeah. Or like whenever they were. Because that's one group where it's like, okay, they were just doing that. They were just doing crowd work. They were just trying to get pussy.

Yeah, they weren't really. Hey, ladies. Yeah? Would y'all, my hotel is nearby. I'm at the Hyatt off of Fannin Street. Y'all ladies like the La Quinta Inn? Mm-hmm. I got the presidential suite.

It has a jacuzzi tub. Hey, ladies. Yeah? Do y'all want to fuck me Where am I Like to have the confidence to call the ladies out But you're a where am I hug at guy Hey ladies

Yeah Do you like soft sensitive guys who Listen to you And think about your needs Yeah Hey ladies Yeah and think about your needs? Yeah. Hey, ladies. Yeah.

Do y'all like guitar? Ah, fine. Could I get a hug? I guess. Nice. Hey, fellas. Yeah. Hey, if it was us, you know what they'd call it? What's that?

Two Guys Crew. Two Guys Crew. Yeah, just a if it was us, you know what they'd call it? What's that? Two Guys Crew. Two Guys Crew. Yeah, just a couple. They did OPP, yeah? That's them? No, that was naughty by nature. Fuck. I knew it.

Two Life Crew was that one. It's like, mmm, it's so horny. Oh, yeah. And there's also We Want Some Coochie. Yeah. No, We Want Some Pussy. Hey, we want some pussyussay. Hey, we want some pussay. Yeah, that's...

So, like, I hate really, like, bad that, like, I know conservative pundits, or people in general, not even pundits, like, people on Facebook

get mad at, like, Cardi B and Megan, the stallion. I almost called her Megan like we're friends me and meg like dude god damn me and cardi like but they like they'll be like wow music was never like this and it's like there's this uh blues artist named lucille bogan from back in like the 30s big old soulful black woman from the

south and like her songs were like they were like when i see you in the saloon i'm gonna suck on it you can see my poop like it was like she was like it was like like talking about like putting fingers and asses and like gobbling nut sacks and it was like shit that like like red dead type music like you open the saloon and it's playing on a little and this was like 80 years ago now. And this has always been around. Like they're thinking of like the 50s where like Rock Hudson was like, do you want to hold my hand at the bop-chop-top?

Like that's what they're thinking about. But all those songs were about like getting like the sloppiest head in a Ford Pinto. Getting pussy in exchange for like ice cream. Yes, like a milk malt or something. And then like in the 80s. In the 90s you have too like. Like we want some pussy. Down with other people's pussy.

Like shit's always been like this. Yeah. Now granted is like. You know. Like are they. Were they as lewd. Actually you know what. No.

The big booty like dance fucking hip hop music. That all the like boomers get mad about, that's been around for at least coming on 40 years now. I'm thinking about old NWA videos. Or not NWA. Flavor Flav and the guys that were like those videos. It's just been around for fucking ever. Even like Big Daddy Kane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's just, like, you know. It was popular in Hamlet. Even, like, the music that they listen to. Like, fucking, like, I'm trying to remember. Like, fucking Poison and Vanity. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I was about to say, like, White Snake. Like, that video of the girl that's, like, in the bikini and she's, like, spreading her fucking... Death Leopard. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was about to say like Whitesnake, like that video of the girl that's in the bikini and she's spreading her fuck. Death Leopard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pour some sugar on me. Not all in a bit of my ass. And then suck my dick.

Anyway, I think that music should be whatever it was because I'm a free spirit and I free people. Oh, you're a free spirit. Yeah. And so I think when you get mad about like, when Ben Shapiro was like, what is a wet ass pussy? And people fucking went for his throat on it. Yeah.

But it made me think like. Do you think a man like that cares about whether he can fuck? I don't... I think him and his wife, like, those motherfuckers are one of two types of people. Like, it comes out in the news or whatever.

They really are Puritan, like, fuck-through-a-sheet type motherfuckers, or they, like, have, like, butt orgy, like, stink, like, the room stinks type shit. Like they get fucking dirty with it. And so my idea is that Ben's probably the former, not the latter. Like he probably really is like a, oh, gee willikers, are you going to suck my balls?

Like he seems like, I know it's like a very common theme to like, be like, oh, dude,'re just conservative guys actually gay yeah but I think for him if he is it's it's a very successfully repressed thing yeah yeah yeah it's like in the back of his head and he's like he may have forgotten about he's like I'm actually I'm fine yeah. But he's probably not as himself as he... He seems like he's become his own... He's like Sam Hyde himself. He's the bit.

He's the guy that he created in his own mind 30 years ago to be. He could just be like that. I mean, I don't know. All those guys... I don't know if Ben Shapiro is the cause of the case, but that Nick Fuentes kid is most definitely. Yeah.

Like, like, absolutely 100%. He, he, like, was name searching and he,

like, blocked a bunch of people after that video where he did a, he did a video with this guy. Cat boy thing?

Yeah, he's the kid that ironically, like, he ironically wears cat ears and tutus and sucks dildos. And he's like, I'm a little fin boy. He's like, ha ha, this is what gay guys do.

And it's literally like, it's a joke. It's like, dude, you would be way cooler if you just took a dick in the ass like a normal like a normal like a normal guy like everybody does yeah like Thomas you know not like me though see if I did I wouldn't care yeah

but I think for like for those guys it's like you know maybe just to prove a point before I leave I'm gonna fuck Jake in the ass

and I'm so free spirited I'm not even gonna fuck it anyway I'm not even gonna get... Fuck it. Anyway. I'm not even going to get into this.

Victor, do you agree to it? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I did, you know. Fuck it. I ain't worth hiding it. But yeah, you know, I think... Fuck, terrible, man. Yeah.

If I have IBS, dude, that'd be nasty. It just wouldn't work. Too similarly sized. similarly sized yeah yeah yeah dude I'm trying like cause I have trouble you have trouble like fucking a girl

in a car like how do like two gay guys that are tall like how do you fucking a key of soul yeah that's a fairly

common thing it's not like well I don't know what the fuck in a car I mean like for like you see

gay couples and they're, like, the same. Or one's 6'5 and the other's, like, 6'2. But they're, like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's just like being bros or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll bet you suck on each other, too. Yeah, I mean, honestly, that's, like, that'd be ideal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you both like kung fu movies. Yeah, yeah, both like John Wick and, like, Chicken Wings. Neither of you talking during the movie. Yeah, no questions. Nothing, yeah, yeah. Like if you both like kung fu movies. Yeah, yeah. Both like John Wick and like Chicken Wings. Neither of you talking during the movie. Yeah, no questions. Nothing like... One of you doesn't get up

to start a little laundry in the middle of it. Hell, I... Hell, you know. You never know. Honestly, liking pussy is a curse. Yeah.

Honestly, I like it too much. Yeah. I'll be in there too long. You know what I'm saying? I like... I'm like, damn, I like it too much. Yeah. I'll be in there too long. You know what I'm saying? I like, I'm like, damn, I just wish, I wish I didn't eat the whole thing. I wish I had some left over. You feel me?

Yeah. I don't know what that means. I, yeah, I don't really like, I was, I was thinking in my mind before you said, I don't know what that means. Like, I was thinking of a way to keep that going for a few minutes. And then I realized, I don't know how I would like I was thinking of a way to keep that going for a few minutes and then I realized I don't know how I would it was like yeah yeah yeah keep it in the fridge like oh I left it in the car because I forgot to bring it in you know uh yeah but you know to each their own I mean sometimes I wonder if I could have made money in 2015 by making a right-wing YouTube channel.

I couldn't have because I was 15. Yeah. Well, maybe I could be one of those conservative kids. But when I was 15, I mean, I wasn't conservative. I don't think I had any political opinions. I stopped being, because I was raised conservative. But by the time I was 12, I was like,

dude, Mitt Romney looks like a robot. Why does anybody like this guy? Yeah. This is going to sound really stupid, but I don't think it's that uncommon. I watched, when I was like, my first political opinion

was because I watched V for Vendetta when I was 13, and I was like my first political opinion was because i watched a v for vendetta when i was like 13 and i was like whatever this movie is i want to be that because i'm that because he looks cool he threw a dagger and he heel kicked a guy like a spinning wheel kick that's what that's politics to me and then i was like i found out about libertarianism at like 14 and i was like i'm a libertarian i'm a ron paul guy which meant nothing to me at the time absolutely nothing i just said stuff like that uh but really what i was into is like smoking weed uh and i got really into like weed advocacy groups on facebook but i like the point i'm trying to make is is it like I know people that have those same beliefs and they're like 40 like their politics are like we got to

legalize it it's free love brother and I'm like yeah yeah it's legal in a lot of places I'm not anti legalization I'm like very pro but like if you're one of those guys just like dude it if like fucking Tupac came back and like Mikhail Gorbachev and like Obama and they all like smoke and like fucking Bob Marley bro too mm-hmm if they're all like smoking weed yeah Willie Nelson mm-hmm and then like fucking bro like peace on earth like you know what a fucking Nikita Khrushchev and fucking Joseph Mangley, dude. What if Bashar al-Assad took a fucking six-foot bomb?

Yeah, what... Dude, I can't... That would be sick. No, like... Yeah, I can't stop thinking about, like, what if Kim Jong-un just, like, ate an edible and just, like, watched... I feel like he's a dab-off-the-scope type of guy. He's a hot knifer. Like, you know, like, he puts the knives in the oven and then just drips the fucking wax on there?

Yeah, yeah. It rocks to me that, like, it's cool that, like, a guy who is maybe might actually be a tyrant. I don't fucking know. I'm assuming he's a pretty bad guy just from the news. I haven't talked to him that much. Yeah. There are, like, people on Twitter who are like, actually, it's all propaganda. He's a really good guy.

And I was like, all right, man. Some of it's got to be true. Anyway, the point I'm making is a guy like that, like an action villain, he really likes basketball. And more than anything, he loves Dennis Rodman. That is like they hung out when Dennis Rodman was there. And I'm like, what about Dennis? Like, if you can hang out with any legend I guess it's Dennis has a Dennis Robin has a place to play because it's like

he's weird enough to go there you know I'm saying like like there's no way Michael Jordan's like I'm gonna check out North Korea like Dennis Robins like I don't care if I die I'm Dennis Rob I wear an earring I probably killed hookers you know he probably does some weird shit so I guess that's part of it but like the two of them hanging out, I can't picture it. I really wish that Kobe had hung out with them before he died. With Dennis Rodman or Kim Jong-un? With Kim Jong-un, bro.

That would have been. Imagine the tribute video from North Korea. Oh, yeah. With Kobe. Yeah, like a guy who put up, like, how many points his last game? He was like, I'm going to put up 80 points and then did it. Like, I don't even follow basketball, but I just like, I would watch him like,

I would watch the, like, highlights and I'm like, that motherfucker's good at basketball. No, I feel like Dennis Robbins is the only type of guy that can,

like, type of athlete. Can you imagine like, Tim Tebow or like, Peyton Manning or like, like,

who's the fucking Patriots guy? Tom Brady? Yeah, like Tom Brady. Like, all-American corn-fed boys, like, just hanging out with him. And, you know, it's like, what? Hey. Fucking Mike Trouting.

Fucking. Yeah, we got Kim Jong-un. He's hanging out with Nolan Ryan. They're talking beefsteak, man. They're thinking about getting into business together. They're both, like, you have to be a cult of personality guy, I think. I'm trying to think of another athlete. Maybe Brian Bosworth in his prime, the football guy.

Okay. Maybe. Funny if, like, fucking he's hanging out with, like, Rex Ryan or something. Who's that? He's a coach. I don't know that. You don't know shit, dude. You don't know that. You don't know shit, dude. You don't know Jack.

Or, hey, like, Vince McMahon would make a little bit of sense for some reason. Who? Am I pronouncing his last name wrong? Who's who? Vince McMahon? Yeah, McMahon. All right, that's... I don't think

cause he's like an America first Trump guy but that I feel like in a way Dennis Rodman probably accidentally voted for Trump or something if he did somehow vote there's no I mean yeah well I'm thinking like

Dennis Rodman in the voting booth he's like I just gotta check one of these boxes. And they're like, yeah, who do you like? And he's like, I don't even know who any of these people are. Who's Donald Trump? I'm voting for America. America, yeah, yeah.

Was it Eric Andre, the interviewer, they asked him, like, you ever killed anybody? He's like, yeah. I remember, like, it was asked as a joke. interview where they asked him like you ever killed anybody he's like yeah like i remember like he was it was asked as a joke but i i got to thinking i was like dennis rodman seems like the kind of athlete who in his prime like coked up drunk you know and then just chokes a little hooker a little too hard his father had like so dennis rodman was the first kid his father had like so Dennis Rodman was the first kid his father had but he had like fucking 35 kids after that it was like something crazy but I always think like same old lady or was he setting up franchises it franchises okay gotcha but that's nuts imagine like you look back it's like damn

had it on the first try. Yeah. Could just not. Yeah. It wasn't like the rest of them became stars or whatever. Well, athletes like him, like John Jones, I like it that Dennis Robin never tried to reinvent himself as a Christian or whatever. Because a lot of the athletes that go down that route, they have their fun for five years and then they come back and they're super preachy they're like i turn myself over the lord and now you know i'm a soldier guy dennis robin in his interviews now he still has like a lip ring and he's like i like he his brain barely works he's like oh yeah no it's it's cool

being like like having like a like brain damage from alcohol and methamphetamine. He don't even try it. But like John Jones and Matt Hughes, a couple UFC fighters who did the same thing, now they have Christian youth camps, and they're like, I'll never crash my car into a lady. I mean, that was the old me. The new me wouldn't do anything like that.

Sure, it was three years ago, but I'm a different man now because my PR team was like, you keep doing this you're gonna lose all your money we should get a pr team we're gonna become christians this whole time i've been trying to guide you towards the lord yeah and i've been with my little daily graces as i put them, then putting you on that path of wisdom rather than one that is revolting against the Lord God, our Savior. And through

his grace, Jake, you will unlock a world you never knew. The DLC? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's about enough. Yeah, we can wrap that one up. Bye-bye.

Bye. Wait, is that free?