Pendejo Time - goofy hamburger

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

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I need something to drink And it tastes like juice My old man Take a look at my knife It is very good Yeah Yeah I like that song

That's a good song And Let's see You got it man If you want to keep it going This one Burger with some chicken and fries It's a lot like

Ooh Yeah All right Yeah I'm eating food at night and it's lettuce too. Eating fooding at night and it's lettuce too. Yeah, absolutely. I need something with bread and it's yummy.

Grew, chew, chew, okay, that's fine. It's yum to chew. Yeah, perfect. Hey, Neil Young. Our names are Thomas and Jake. Yep. And in honor of the song that you may or may not have written nobody knows

and did, used to the song maybe a hundred years ago. Yeah. We have our own little rendition. But with a twist, you may have heard of Weird Al, well,

this is sort of like Weird Al, except without any of the talent or skill or the stage presence or charisma. Correct. Yeah. Or the production level or... Any of the ambition or drive

or anything like that, any kind of... the vaguely Eastern European ancestry, none of that. I don't think it's vague. Yankovic is about as Eastern European as it gets.

Well, I mean, is that his real name? Al Yankovitch. Yeah, Albert, or Alph. Adolf Yankovich.

I thought, I thought it was such an absurd last name that it was made up like, because it had Yank in it? Alfred Matthew Yankovitch. Yeah, he,

I think he like, I'm pretty sure he's, like an Israel guy Zionist We are going to find out I don't think he has a whole lot of influence Oh he doesn't he has never made a comment I just went off his last name

Which is fine sometimes to do It's fine to do that it's not really It's like a 50-50 if you're right Nobody makes a big stink about it If you're wrong somebody might make us think about it But it's not really a huge deal We don't have to think about it anymore Keep talking about it even if we

We can move on completely Anyway Yeah, I don't think he would really be Holding the strings You know Of the world The culture I'm sorry, man

We were gonna book you tonight But Weird Al He made the boss call You know what I mean Yeah Yeah It was him and Meatloaf

They rose up against you And decided to take down your career It's funny Meatloaf Has like one of the best Selling albums of all time Yeah, yeah he does man You know who I was talking I was just, I had this weird thing last night where I forgot, you were like really young, probably like six or seven, but I was like 12.

So I kind of remember how big Jared Leto's band was. Like they were incredibly huge. Meat luck sold over 100 million records worldwide across his career. 100 million? Really? Over 100 million. Bad out of hell has said, 4. Yeah, yeah.

...of 43 million copies. God, yeah. And just in the U.S., it's 14 times platinum. Bad out of hell, too, back into hell, which was like 15 years later, sold 12.7 million copies worldwide. Good Lord. Yeah, I mean, at 32nd Samars, way less than that, but way more than what I thought. Around 25 million worldwide, which is just fucking absolutely insane. was reading about the crimes of Mr.

of one, alleged crimes of one Mr. Jared Letto, having rewatch Dallas Byers Club and thought it was a wonderful, I thought I think that movie is very good. And I do think he is good in it, but I do think he belonged under the jail. And then I remember that he was in 30 seconds to Mars. And I was like, oh, yeah, he was in like an emo band for like a year. That was a weird kind of side project. And then I Google it.

I did not know that they were like triple. I just didn't remember them being that big, but they went like quadruple platinum. them and it's just one of those things that like I kind of like memory hole out of my head because everybody that kind of mall emo was so big uh like fallout boy and that type of stuff some of it was so some of it's good it's okay a lot of it's straight butt ass poop but i kind of forgot how massive they just i just didn't really remember how big they were um and i did read allegedly that um one of his former stage hands was jameen job was to call up agencies and ask for um their um prettiest and youngest

models to bring to the show allegedly uh and it was a that is true jared leto will not sue us because he is a pussy i i will not be afraid of legal action from jared leto what is he going to do to me i'm an adult with a mind I can beat him up. He can't trick me and I have no money to take. Yeah, correct. Yeah, it's a good point. Jared Lotto, you're 55 years old.

Jared Lotto versus the IRS. Who can take Thomas's money first? Be my guess. May the best men win. Yeah, Jared Lotto versus the United States country. I owe $18,000 for the back taxes. So Mr. Lotto, you can take a number, brother. Yeah.

I went on his Instagram and he, He posts a lot of videos with the caption that says like POV summer vibes. And it's like him with his tongue out like this. That's awesome. And he's dancing on a boat. And a lot of people on the boat are not in their 50s or their 40s or their 30s or perhaps I don't know, hard to tell these days in their 20s. It's mostly him and his brother. And then a lot of people, mostly women that I would imagine are at the very least,

30 years his senior Or junior, sorry. He doesn't have 75-year-woman on his boat. Anyway, I bring him up because you brought up the meatloaf thing. Meatloaf is actually cool. I have no beef with Mr. Meat. Rest in peace to a goaded legend. Tenacious D. Pickup Destiny was a on-repeat, on-rotation film in the Rhodes household for many years.

It's so crazy. He was in Fight Club, too. I forgot about that. He was a bitch-te. tits, Bob. His name was Robert Paulson. Yeah, I mean, people used to fucking buy anything, man. I just looked up.

I just looked up. Run DMC has sold over 40 million records. Right. Yeah, well, they're not bad. They're not. They are. Bro, bro, come on, dude. They had that one song.

Who am I thinking? My, uh, Ditas. That's not a terrible song. They've never made a song that wasn't the worst song in the world. If you read their Wikipedia, it's like, they met with rock, they met with music genius, Rick Rupin, and he had the idea to combine rock and roll and hip hop. Who am I thinking is?

A legend was born. Who am I thinking of, motherfucker him and John Wayne? Flavor Flay was his hype man. Who am I thinking of? Chuck D. Chuck D. That's who I'm thinking of. You're thinking of Public Enemy?

Public Enemy. Yeah, I was thinking of public enemy. I'm thinking of me, even though I don't listen to them. That's what I'm thinking of it. I think they are cemented as cool. Yeah, they're obviously. Because they were, you know, they were political in a way that wasn't super corny. You know what I mean?

For the time, you know, they were into like Black Panther shit and stuff. Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't call them back. No. But run DMC, I did, I got them because they did the song with Aerosmith. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, this right. Yeah, yeah. And apparently that, like, revived Aerosmith's career. It did. It did. Fuck about Aerosmith anymore. Yeah.

Well, Aerosmith's another thing where you're talking about people will buy anything. Aerosmith really is the rock equivalent of Run DMC in a way. Yeah, I just butt. They have never made a song that wasn't for the dumbest guy in the world. Sweet emotion has a nice little thing going, but it is a song for dumb guys. Love in an elevator was catchy. I remember my dad would play it sometimes. Living it up while I'm going.

But I remember thinking your point is like, I feel like the only part of me that finds this appealing is the part that is like a rural Protestant that wants to hurt people. You know what I mean? Like it's the... I think dude looks like a lady might be the worst song of all time.

It's up there. It's up there. Especially when you hear it as a ringtone from an old guy and you go, that's your ring. It happens maybe once a year for me. me where I hear a guy's ringtone his dude looks like a lady

yeah I and it's not even just for I don't really fully understand the song I don't know even know if it's transphobic or if it's just a like a weird thing that they're saying but the tune itself is very jarring and off putting

to me it was written about like the hair they all look it was cool to look like a woman back then uh it's I remember one I remember the last in person. If you can pull it off. It's always been cool to look like a woman or androgynous.

If you can pull it off. Yeah. It's a thing. Because the cool thing isn't, the cool thing is that you're pulling it off. Really? Well, it's like, yeah, it's like David Lee Roth was probably the best at it.

And I love Van Halen. I don't, I know, I know what everybody's thinking, I know. There was a time and place where like, sometimes I wish I could like go back and just listen. like drive a fucking firebird around Lowell Canyon and just listen to fucking Panama. It's just a high on fucking Medellin Cartel.

Van Halen, I think. It circles around it being actually good, though. Because it is music for good, it's music for dumb guys, but they're really good at it. Yeah, and it's music for a good time. I don't, Aerosmith. I'm not anti-dum music.

I mean, a lot of the music I listen. man i'm just trying to think uh what's up you know it's a good dumb guy band i always get the order of the words mixed up on this one but sometimes sometimes i come back to it it's soul collective oh yeah two black or two white two rum a two right two right two my dad played the fuck out of that album

heavy yeah yeah yeah yeah is one of my it makes me laugh every time I listen to it because it makes you imagine yourself like doing like a WWE walk-up. Yeah, like... Sometimes I'll... Songs that make you daydream about body slamming your boss?

Sometimes I'll look for good like UFC walkout playlists. Yeah. The equally dumb guys have made and then I'll try and listen to those while I'm like on a horrible... By the way, I'm running, but my pace is like, 14 minute mile. Like,

knees are completely blown out. I'm wearing disgusting basketball shorts. I'm heaving bad. And I'm listening to like, hate it or love it. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

But, yeah, that music does have its place. I really liked, I mean, I don't know, I fucking love, like stained and shit. Like, I like all that dumb fucking, I love Cedar, dude. I love, I love, like, unironically,

I know it's having its moment in the sun again, but like what people refer to as dad rock. Like, that was a big thing. Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam. Dude, well, Stone Temple Pilots for me is my favorite, like, grunge band. I wouldn't even call them Dad Rock. I was going to say the last actual ringtone I heard song was Waiting Room by Fugazi, weirdly enough.

But it was like, it belonged to exactly who you think it would. It was like a skinny old head at a fucking concert or like a small venue punk show that I was at. This is before the bands got stood and he was like setting the bar. up and his phone went off and he was like i'm a patient boy oh wait out and i was like all right man i don't know what you did in your life but it's probably bad i'm just assuming that you're a bad person i love fugazi they're great yeah i'm just finding out about some bands recently uh one that i never really listened to ever like i hadn't even heard of it but i've been liking his modern color checked that band out recently i'm not listening to them i've been listening to a bunch of that um

she's on s andl but she's got like a y2k pop thing going on called me as a girl. Oh yeah, Veronica. Veronica, yeah, her shit is really good. But I'm a sucker for that shit.

I'm a big fan of that band after, so I fucking, I like that stuff. What wasn't? Another dumb guy, poison, that was it. They were like right at the,

poison. Dude, one of my friends, he was actually, my best friend growing up, I haven't talked to him in a long time. We kind of fell, fell up,

when he would get really cross-fated, I knew how to play Every Rose Has a Thorn on guitar because I learned it from my dad and he would get really crossed and he would get so crossed we were like 12 or 13 He would be

Need something to like ground him Because we had like smoked And drank so much And like take whatever Taking whatever pills we could find On the medicine cabinet So he would get like Kind of like couch locked on this bean bag

In his dad's garage And he would be like Hey man I need you bring me back And I would be like okay And he's like let's just just play it just good because he played guitar too he'd be like i'm gonna get my guitar you get your guitar and you play something and i was and then he would try but he was like he's like he's like he's like do something stupid man i don't know i need to laugh and i was like okay like what do you want to

play it was either the sweet child of mind riff which i can still play to this day or it was fucking every rose has his thorn i sit outside of the stuil is in the day of the night and i would start singing it and his eyes would kind of like open up a little bit and they'd be like just red as the devil's dick and like a small smile would form on his face and he'd be like, that's it. I'm coming back. I'm almost, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

you're safe with me. And I would stop singing it because I can't get through every rose has his dawn without laughing. But he'd be like, no, you gotta keep. I was like pulling him out of a bad trip every time I played it on guitar or the sweet child of mine. And then he'd be like, dude, those songs suck. They suck so bad.

It's funny the, like the totems and inception, the stuff that brings you out of being too fucked up. His was the sweet child. the mine riff or every rose has this thorn mine was I had like comfort movies

if I get too scared on acid or something I'd throw on like good fellows or something or like I'd watch like Ed and Eddie or something like like TV that I'd seen a bunch

I'd stop being scared because I knew what was gonna happen I'd have seen if I'd have been if I'd have seen a movie or something anyway no no that's not really important yeah poison was stupid as fuck

I liked Pearl Jam back to Grunge I liked all that stuff obviously a big smash and pumpkins fan even though Billy Corgan is gay and bald he sucks so bad dude yeah happens to the best of us

one of my friends shout out Cameron drummer for the band Stab you should listen to them they're super good if you don't already he just opened you know that guy Jimmy Brown the fake British guy on Instagram yeah he just opened up for Jimmy Brown last night his band oh that's cool

yeah and I think it was a chess club it's like a punk venue in Austin but anyway what was I saying Oh my buddy always said that Like the only reason that Billy Corgan He sucks is because he survived Like imagine Kurt Cobain alive like now

Like none of those guys Like the only one that- He'd be so fat He the only guy that aged It didn't kill himself And his politics don't suck And he's not a weirdo is Eddie Vedder He writes like OSTs for like movies about the woods

And in Dave Grohl's defense All he did was cheat on his wife And had a kid with a lady that he'd been cheating on his wife for like 20 years You can't do that when you're a rock star? I mean you can but he... By rock star by rock star standard?

He did this thing. He himself cultivated an image of like I'm not like the other rock stars. I'm family guy. I'm Peter. You know what I mean? Like, why? No, he...

No, motherfucker I'm saying. He was like, I'm just, I love my family and I fucking play the guitar and I was friends of Kurt Cobain. And then that was all shattered when he was like, he texted the world from his phone, yo, I've been getting some tang on the side and I did have a baby.

And my wife is gonna stay with me. I'm not saying that he's a bad guy for that. I'm saying, I am saying he's a bad guy for that. You should never do that. Well, there's different ways to look at it, Jake. Because think of the other things. Imagine if he was just unhappy in his marriage and he took it out on her or something like that.

I mean, I think that counts as that. but I know what you mean I would say it's He was it He could have been a David Bowie type And instead he was addicted To blowing off some steam I see what you mean yeah

You know There's not something I would do But I think if you were in foo fighters And you were in Nirvana You can have kids with women Who aren't your wife And I don't really care Yeah if you helped write

That's the thing where it's like You helped write fucking Yeah like she she could just divorce him And then have a bunch of money You know who it sucks for is it sucks for women whose husbands have no job. Yeah. And are doing that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you what, I encounter people all the time where it's a lady who's working. And a guy who's... And a guy who is not working, and he is having kids with other women, and they are together for some reason because they had a kid together. Yeah. And then they stay together and just argue all the time and just fight all the time. And neither of them has any money. Yeah.

Because she doesn't make that much money. and whatever money she makes, he spends it. And then they put... Dave Grohl is a huge millionaire with a million bucks. He's got like 16 houses. His wife could just leave him and eat steaks with a hot guy instead. Yeah, that's true. That's very true, yeah.

If I was his wife, you know, she probably is just, she probably already, they were probably just cheating on each other already. I don't know. I would like to think that she wasn't, but she's a very beautiful moment. You would like to think that, but she, let's face it. And I know we don't like to use this type of language. She looks like a huge whore. I don't actually know what she looks like.

She's just like a normal-looking lady. I was just doing it for the bit. I don't know what the fucks she looks like. I have no idea, but... I mean, look, she was... She signed up for this. That is true. You know, I hate to play devil's advocate like this,

but you could see it in Dave's eyes. He's been full of cum for a long time. I mean, he busted off one load in an adult woman, you know. And suddenly the world's up in arms. And suddenly the world's up in arms. And suddenly the world. up in arms. Yeah.

You know, if you, if you write, if you help write, know you're right and learn to fly and smells like teen spirit, I guess you maybe earn yourself. Lithium and all that other stuff. Yeah. Yeah. What beautiful, how many people did she help get through middle school because they were pretending

that they wanted to kill themselves? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. None. I mean, yeah, he, yeah. But imagine you listen to that stuff, and then you grow up, and then you suck that guy's dick, and then he gets you pregnant.

Swag, yeah. I don't know how old the, I think the lady was around his age. I don't think it was. She was, it looks like she was in her 70s. Wow. And I'm just looking at the facts here. Just pulling the facts up on the,

let's look it up. Dave Grohl's side, bitch, let's pull it up. 72. Name is Mildred. I looked up. Jamie, we just pulled it up. Dave Grolesideho.

Yeah, they'd been married 22 years. Um Dave Grohl He went Um He went to over 430 therapy sessions Across 70 weeks He went to therapy six days a week

To work on himself and mend his marriage That's crazy That's a lot of work I'm gonna say this All right I'm not doing all that I mean First off I'm not doing the cheating

Right But I'm not doing that kind of I'm not doing that kind of mending on any relationship I don't care how bad I fuck anything up I will never I mean I just go ahead and call it Yeah just call just call it

4306 days a week of therapy I've never done anything Can you imagine finding a therapist who's willing to talk to you six days a week I mean it's I mean you're Dave gross I'm not willing to come into work a six day to talk to my co-workers because I get paid to be there. Yeah. I mean, that's just atrocious.

If your husband is willing to go to therapy six days a week, for, I'm assuming at least an hour every time. Yeah. Here's what's going on. He is lying about that. He's going somewhere else. For six days a week, he's going to that girl's house. He's fucking these shit.

out of her. And then he's coming home. Yep, we actually worked on ending today. We had a big breakthrough today. We had a big breakthrough today. I cried the whole time. I can't, I'm so grateful. Yep.

My therapist wants me to come back over tomorrow night. Around 8 p.m. Yep. It's Saturday night. I have to have my phone off. She says, I have to go out for drinks with my therapist. We have to talk about the progress.

She said to have my phone off. Actually, in a yonder. My therapist is also pregnant, weirdly. My therapist. has requested phone off and is pregnant. Intensive therapy also should not be reserved for a guy who was addicted to pussy. Yeah. Intensive therapy, like six day a week therapy should be for like pedophiles only.

Yeah, serial murderers. Yeah, yeah, guys who are. People who if they don't change right now need to be put down. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, guys who kind of have to Herman Gurring, that type of stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. He actually, you know, it's funny.

Guring, I think, had roughly the same amount of technical therapeutic hours done while he was in Nuremberg. So to do Guring levels of therapy, he talked with the Douglas Kelly guy, I think, I don't know, hundreds of, perhaps maybe even thousands of hours. To get the same amount of therapy, just in terms of hours spent as Guring during the Nuremberg trials, just because you, you know, went out for a little snack. after closing time seems a bit excessive I will say yeah I mean maybe she said hey also you know what that does

what it really makes it about you yeah I think that's what it is I think that's what's so off-putting but the six jokes aside I do agree with that I think it really makes it about your personal journey

yeah in a way that's disgusting if you cheat on your wife you know that's a bad thing to do right Yeah, yeah. But you've caused her pain. The thing isn't that you've done a misstep in your journey.

You've done something bad to somebody love, right? Like you've caused pain. Irreparable damage. There's a second family. This isn't like a oops. You know, this was a calculated affair that lasted a long time that ultimately culminated. It's almost better to just not talk about it. And I don't say that about a lot of things.

but that's bordering on maybe you shouldn't have told her if this is how you were gonna I'm on ironically I'm with you where I'm like I remember when she decided to stay I was like bitch leave Leave get out of there Because he's gonna

Because then anytime you get mad at him for anything He's gonna be like yeah look how much therapy I did What you don't believe me you don't Come on It's just gonna it's gonna be like you have a mouse following you around forever. You don't respect. You're not going to respect him again.

It's a kid. It's not like he was just caught picking a little bit up. He, it's, there's a kid. So it's like, he's got to be a father to that kid. That's why when the news broke, I was like, jokes. I was like, where a lot of people go wrong with that. He did not need to be a father to that kid. Drake, that's the Drake protocol.

You do not need to be a father to your illegitimate son. You don't need that here. And that's another thing where you know rock and roll is dead. Because Jimmy Page would have shot and killed that woman. Jimmy Page would have drowned everybody in the apartment. And I'm glad, you know. Don Henley kidnapped a 14-year-old girl. I'm glad the woman's safe.

That's all I'll say. Because those prime rock and roll years, the manager would have taken that problem. Like the Eagles. Guy in a big pinstripe suit would have taken care of that. Oh, absolutely. We're going to take great care. We're going to take wonderful care. What's the girl's name?

He must have fired all his management. What's the little girl's name? Okay, I got a woman with no money pregnant. What do I do? Let me tell the entire world and go to therapy for a million years. Let me tell everyone on my... That's the worst. I tell you know, Kurt and those other guys were the brains of the operation.

Chris, this is the dumbest guy. Dumb guys are always cursed with millions of dollars. Dumb guys love to... Dumb guys love to share their problems with the world via their phone, and go to therapy for 55 hours a week. It's one of their favorite things to do. This is how you know also that he had been cheating the entire marriage.

Dave Portnoy, I mean, not Dave Portnoy, Dave Portnoy, has declined rapidly over the past few years. Yeah. Dave Role has looked the exact same for a while. He's not had any abrupt change. He's looked like 45 forever. Yeah, he hasn't started looking sexy all of a sudden.

at any point. He hasn't done any, he still thinks his hair looks cool. Yeah. He still thinks his beard looks awesome. He loves being fat. He has been getting pussy this whole time. Correct.

Yeah, yeah. Because whenever a middle-aged guy has an affair all of a sudden, they start, like, dressing sexy and all this stuff, and, like, they think they're, he would have put out, like, a rap. He would have put out, like, an album with gorillas. Yeah.

It would have been awesome. He would have done something with cemetery, you know what I mean? Like a ghost mountain, whatever the fuck they're called, Holy Mound. I don't know what the fuck. He would have done like a horror core rap rock thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, he would have done a thing with suicide boys. Carter, Nevada. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you imagine? That would have fucking, dude. I would have blown up. We would have had a Calvin Harris song with Dave Grohl on it. Reichstag fire, dude. I'm tired of it. Yeah, I would have been something else. It would have been way too much going on.

But as I said he's been the exact same guy this entire time. because he's stupid well yes he's I think that is what a lot of it comes down to he's a very stupid man

he has earned no respect from the world he knows who his family to bring it full circle Jared Leto has been raping

for according to the accusations 20 plus years and he looks like he's 28 years old I don't know what's up with him dude I can't, he looks

I think he's just been having consistent work done I don't, I see, it doesn't look like he's had a lot of work done to me. Yeah, it doesn't look like it but he's probably been having Botox and all that done this whole time. He looks, I hate to say it. You can have all that done without getting fillers and like looking crazy.

You got like somebody good, you don't get nuts with it. He looks fucking. He's also very gay and has definitely been into skin care for a long time. Yeah, I mean, when you only hang out with teenage girls, they can show you a lot about, like, skincare and all that. That is true.

He only hangs out with gay guys and teenage girls. Yeah. Dude, what if he is doing like an Elizabeth Bathory thing? Like he's bathing in the blood of fucking like to local towns, girls. Like, Jesus Christ. I had a friend who told me a story about like basically being at a party with him, like what that he was at. Yeah. And the guy was there with his girlfriend and Jared Letto was like trying to hit on his girlfriend.

And the girlfriend was like, no, I'm here with my boyfriend. and Jared Little was just so confused by the fact that she rebuked him in that way. Yeah, it was like, so you would rather just stay with your boyfriend than... Jared Lolo.

Then leave him for a 50-year-old rapist. Evil... Will change your life for the worst? Evil rape monster. The youthful rape monster? You want to leave this happy monogamous relationship. You don't want to leave this happy monogamous relationship for a guy who wouldn't even really claim to offer that?

just kind of openly has it cold Yeah Maybe you might be connected to intelligence I don't really know Yeah it's He does I don't know He

He I had a buddy who Won some A raff like a ticket Through some like Raffle thing To go on stage and see them right And I wouldn't call a buddy

He's actually an ass so we don't talk anymore, but I used to know it. And he told me, he never obviously confirmed this because he didn't get a chance to actually talk to him, but he won a chance to go see 30 seconds to Mars in high school. And he realized something was amiss when he was the only guy on the stage. And there was like a raffle to win free tickets that was like countrywide or whatever. This was when they were pretty big, like 15 years ago. And he's up there with a bunch of girls ages like,

17 to 20 or whatever and he's the only dude and Jared Lett is moving them around the stage to get them to stand in a certain way is like they're doing like a chorus part of the song and he's a showman you know and he gets to him and uh said like he's like Jared Lettow looked me in my eyes and like seemed frustrated that he was there like probably 30 near underage or underage girls on stage that he was just absolutely excited to say and then the one there was just one boy he told me he was like I was like I was like I It's crazy that I'm here Mr. Jared, a big fan And then Jared was like, just go over there Just go outside of the stage But the girls are right Oh hi, yeah, you, you come over And started like grabbing other girls

And bring them over And I was like that's Because he accidentally won that raffle That was his conspiracy theory He didn't get properly vetted He was saying it was what he believed Happened is that the girls were chosen There was no lottery

It was a rigged system But you know what is it rigged? There's also a chance that They were like, all right We'll throw one boy in there. One boy? To make it seem normal? Oh, really? You think this was a human trafficking operation?

Then why was there one boy? One Hispanic. One fat Mexican underage boy. Oh, you think I'm into young girls, young white girls? I have one fat 15-year-old Mexican boy on stage with me. If you so care to know the truth. You know what? Well, you know what's not rigged?

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right inside the app. In this UFC Fight Night card featuring Raul Rosas Jr. and Raoni Barsollos is stacked top to bottom. Fair enough. And that's something that's really normal and totally,

that's an appropriate response to that. Fair enough. Let's break down the main card fighters and make our stat projections. Started with... Yes. Yes. Starting with Brady Heistin versus Rehakamura,

Heistin's projected for total fight time is set at 11 and a half minutes. Heistin loves to pressure and drag opponents into deep waters. Like a crocodile. Yeah, so I'm picking more than 11. 5 minutes of control time because these band-in weights

are going to push the pace into the deep rounds. Next up is Rodolf Vireira versus Robert Bischik. Valera's stat projection is set at 1.5 takedowns landed. Valeria is an absolute submission machine on the mat. So I'm taking more than 1.5 takedown to land it for him to get it to the canvas, just like Van Gogh.

Moving into the women's strawweight action, we have Vanessa Dimopoulos versus Yasmin Gutierrez. Gutierrez's projections, I said at 40 and a half significant strikes, she likes to let loose on the feet. Boy, let me tell you, there's something I love about people who let loose on the feet. So I'm picking more than 45.5 significant motherfucking strikes. Then we have a bontam weight collision. Montel Jackson, this is how we do it, versus Ricky Simon. A little bit of a prize picks as Jackson's projection at 38.5 significant strikes. He throws heavy leather from the opening bell.

Mm-hmm. So I'm locking in more than 38.5 significant strikes. All eyes are on the main event in the night. Raoul Roses Jr. versus Rauni Barcellos. Rosas Jr.'s projection is set at two and a half takedowns landed. And Barcello's projection is set at 54.5 significant strikes. That's an amazing number.

It is an amazing number. The Nino Problema. Rahulus Rosas Jr. is relentless with his wrestling and chain wrestling style. So I'm taking more than 2.5 to takedowns landed for Rosas. That's going to be an absolute banger of a main event. And speaking of how great the app is, Price picks features

Did you know Price Picks Invented the injury reboot? Yes. If a player in your lineup gets injured In the first half it doesn't return, your lineup can still cash. Price Picks also has an improved search functionality And live box scores to track your picks

Without having to leave the app. I love box when it's alive. Yeah. Then I hate leaving the app. Plus with their social feature, you can find popular picks that users love and copy them in just one click. The price

Price picks app is better than ever, so pull up. Download the app today and use code Pendejo. That's P-E-N-D-E-J-O to get $150 instantly in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. You mind if I say the same thing? Download the app today and use code P-E-N-D-J-O to get $150 instantly in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. Price Picks, run your game. Anyway. That feels good.

feels great. And you know what? I'm so glad. I'm glad. I love the men I'm becoming. I love what's happening to me. And you may be wondering why. Who are they now? Who are there now? What happened to Jake and Thomas?

Well, that sometimes you are given. Sometimes you got no way to hold them. No wind to fold them. Your life is frozen and decay away. Where in the car, and we's crumbling. You try to get your money where you can. Fire pierce till house and blow it live away. You put all of his boys in the U-Haul, and you saved them from slavery,

but they actually became happy slaves, so you got to kill them too. They got a big fly camera inside my asshole. and then I rode At prostate You gotta shoot Clavicular You gotta shoot them 50 times

Depending if I were to do the math And how many bullets are in the magazine of my gun That would be probably four and a half clips Four and a half magazines That I would put inside my pistol So clavicular's body's laying there And he probably died For the first magazine

He was just a symptom of the disease There's a larger problem But it still feels good To kill him and his mom I'm going to kill his old family I'm going to shoot Braden Peters mom I'm going to kill

random people It's not random to me though I'm going to shoot lots of people That do deserve to die We're going to kill The mailman I don't want to kill the male man At the post up.

I want to shoot Peter Thiel. I want to kill Stephen Miller. Everybody who works at the warehouse. I don't want to kill my coworkers. I just want to shoot Peter Thiel and marketing and dreams to do. And people who work at libraries. I don't want to do that. I just want to do that.

I want to kill people. It was his idea. Who are my political enemies. I want to make. them hurt in ways they can't imagine. I'm going to kill all my friends. That's not what I'm singing about. Two different songs.

It's the same song I get. We'll kill Brad Peep's mom. So, Mr. White, it looks like you threaten to kill everybody in the world. This is technically less illegal than threatening a specific person because we know this is impossible to do, but it looks like you've threatened broadly, roughly 600 million people. Within a five following a prize picks, uh, and according to the newly instance. As punishment, you must recite a prize picks,

uh, add every morning whenever you wake up for 20 years. Yeah. And according to the NSPM 7, um, recently amended by President Trump and Stephen Miller, um, both of you threatened to kill A,

uh, the male man, uh, as well as, um, several sitting members of Trump's cabinet, as well as everyone, I want to quote Thomas Maxwell White here, everyone at the warehouse. I want to let the court show that they were singing Kenny Loggins no one to hold them,

but they were talking about killing the mailman, everyone at the warehouse, everyone in the world, Peter Thiel, Mark Andreson, Braddon Peters, Bob. It's like you wanted to kill lunch ladies. Does that, there can't be that many of those. Who would be serving the lunch,

the lunches after that. We're going to play a recording just so the jury can have a full weight and grasp with understanding of the terrorist threats that were made. You got to kill the mailman. No, you don't got to kill the male man. You got to kill all the warehouse workers. No, you just got to kill Peter Thiel. So a lot of people, what they don't know, and now this is how I speak.

You're the other lawyer. I'm Thomas. Oh, okay, that's fine. What a lot of people don't know is at the time that was. satire and what I really meant is we needed to kill the um well it was really I wasn't sure what I meant by that but it was something cool whatever was just kids we were just I was a nearly 27 year old kid doing that I was I was just a 32 year old I really didn't know at the time the ramifications of threatening to kill everybody you're going to be 27 you're not going

to be 26 I thought I said 27 I might have said You said 26. Well, I will be 26 tomorrow as well. I'll be 26 for them. I'll be 26 for definitely at least a few weeks. You know, we, it's nice to start to get to the ages where it's like, you're not old at all. It's just like it becomes less and less impressive that you are, the person that you are. Yes, yes, 100%.

It's not. When I tell people that I'm a, go ahead, yes, you go, go. Like whenever I'm like, yeah, I actually do some stuff outside of work, it's like, well, I hope so by now. If you don't, you're probably getting groomed on Roblox. You don't have a family. Right. You don't have a family. You don't have a family.

You don't have a family. To pursue something, I would hope. Right. Something you're not really super good at, not like bad, but. I should be further along in my career. Right. It's not like Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan still had a family.

Yeah, by the time I, you know, people and my similar, how do I say, career, I'm drifting into Australia a bit, in my similar career path, I've been married with children by now, but, you know, the early bird does not always get the one, sometimes it gets shot.

But you're married with an adult, which is much better. Yeah, sometimes it gets, sometimes the early bird gets fucking his head blown clean off by me. Sometimes the early bird doesn't get the web. I don't think that being married and having two dogs that's a failure by in any sense. Oh, no, I'm not saying that it is.

I was saying, uh, some, had kids you would have the same life but more stressful. Probably. And also probably with a deep sense of purpose. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I've always thought that if I ended up having a little one, it would probably change my life in such a way that I would require.

Seems like it makes your life amazing mostly, but... Everybody I know with kids is profoundly miserable. You do worry a lot all the time and all that stuff, but it seems like it does... They're better people? It seems like it's a net positive for most people's lives, But if you don't want one and you have one, then you kind of hit yourself forever. Yeah, for sure.

You know what's really, I don't, I'm not saying this as a joke. I think we've talked about this a few episodes back, but as a guy, as a grown man who looks back on his childhood, and there was a time when I was a young man, a teenager in and in my 20s where I thought to myself, I had an absent father for a period of my childhood, as listeners will know.

And I thought, man, I had this. I imagine that my dad, he would be, he was, whatever he was at, he was thinking about me. He was just like, I wonder what my son's doing. I'm here to let you guys know if you haven't talked to your dad in a while, or if you do talk to him now, but he wasn't around when you were younger. I'm letting you guys know right now your dad was not thinking about you, probably very much. I'm going to, because I got firsthand source. I got to ask my pop, hey, what were you thinking about when you were, when you skipped town?

And he was like, I was having a fucking town of my life, man. I really don't know. And I was like, oh, that's no way. I mean, I'm sure you cross your mind. He was like, yeah, you know, every now and then you think about it, but, you know, you think about a lot of stuff throughout the day. And it opened my eyes to this really wonderful concept. I'm not, I can't, I open my eyes.

It's so easy to abandon your family. It's people make it start to be this poetic thing where the dad's like, oh, my family, I'll miss them. No. A hundred percent no. No, no, no, no. Some guys. It'll be a rough first year maybe. Yeah, yes, yeah.

And after that, you would just, you know. Yeah, like, I imagine some guys lament over a whiskey bottle, like, I just can't get right, I miss my boy. That is sometimes. But from what I, anecdotal research, purely anecdotal, in my research, conversations with other men

from broken homes throughout my life, I will say that dad does not really think about the baby mom and the kid too much. He's out gallivanting. And gallivanting is way cooler than lamenting. I want to make that 100% clear. And just in life in general, to frolic is way more

interesting and fun than it is to what's the word I'm looking for than it is to lament or that it is to ruminate to have a great time is way better than to think about I have a son. You know what I mean? Like I totally, I don't know why I guess I had it in my mind

I had romanticized it a bit. I don't know why I had it in my mind and I was like, I bet you thought about me all the time he was like, nah, lots of dirt bikes. A lot, a lot of crack. A lot of cool cars. A lot of pussy. And a lot of beers. Lots of cigarettes. You know, you'd pop in it every now

then, you know, around 2000, 2001. I always thought it was funny that after 9-11, my dad got back into our life, like, super heavy. I don't know what happened. But after 9-11, he kind of- I'll tell you exactly what happened. He showed up for a little while and stuck around. He stuck around and got my mom pregnant again with my brother, which, uh, man, this is,

this is funny. And, mom, if you listen to this, I'm sorry. It's like, uh... She probably stopped listening whenever we... Whenever you made all this terrible threat. She probably stopped listening when I started the show. It was six years ago. Um, she fucking...

Ashley made the joke to be one time, but it's like... To come back eight years later and have a kid, have a second kid, my dad had to be so cool. Like, you know how cool? Like, like, white, like, trailer part cool. Like, fucking, like, leaning up against it old, like... It was like Kenny Powers. Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

Like second-gen, firebird cool. You know, or third-gen, sorry. Like the fucking, the wide-bodied catfish-looking one. That, you know, W.S.6 or whatever, he had one of those. Lained up against that motherfucker just blaring, fucking, I don't know. He's listening to a lot of Dimeback Daryl's band, Pantara. He's listening to a Pantara back then. He just leaned up against that.

I'm back. 9-11s changed me. I didn't. I'm back to have another child And I will be staying I know the soldiers are going to land here soon Here in Pasadena, Texas I want you to be safe

I know that Al-Qaeda will be landing in this trailer park I don't want Osama to take you This is why He's flying a plane here as we speak again I heard a Toby Keith's song on accident It's changed my world view We have to escape in this Pontiac firebird That I'm gonna wrap around a tree

In fucking exactly two months Oh man did I uh yeah anyway we're not to keep going on that but yeah it's just it's uh

it's really it's funny to think like I don't know I know a couple friends of mine who have like they make their moms bailed and I want to say this I will I want to say something when a dad bails dad is like

there's a lot of that so you're kind of thrust into a world where absentee fatherism is very prevalent and so you you it's possible for you to rebound. The guys that I know whose mom's bailed are complete freaks.

I mean, they're completely out of their mind. I don't know what it is about, like, I'm not saying that an absent father is a good thing. I'm saying it happens so much that you can rise out of it, but all my friends with mommy issues,

like mom problems, they're complete train wrecks. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's because the world isn't equipped, like the mom sticks around. That's what it is. You know what I mean? Like the world itself is not culturally,

There's not enough literature on it or enough movies about it. You know, it's always the deadbeat dad thing. You know, the deadbeat mom thing is rarer because women are, you know, more compassionate creatures in general. Yeah, I think also just in the physical sense, if they leave their kids, they feel. They feel bad. They physically ill. Yeah.

You know. We don't have to breastfeed. Right. So we're not staring the baby in the eyes for fucking six hours out of the day. Right. We can just put on sunglasses. Walk out the door. They've got special dad's sunglasses where you can't see kids.

My dad had 10 parents. The white sunglasses with the fucking orange or green. The PPE sunglasses. Yeah, just reflective. The Oakley's. They filter out children. You can't see kids. But it also, it does have a wife selector.

The blue ones are when you can see the wife. Those are when you can see the wife, but you can't see the kids. Orange. They're special ones for watching porn. And they have special ones Other ones where you can see your wife They have ones where you can only see girls under 20 My dad had my dad

Yeah, they have the Ashley Madison filter My dad had a pair of those two Uh yeah my dad had all the sunglasses He had all the Oakleys Um The start thinking about Thinking about a guy putting on sunglasses I'm sure my dad actually did this

Just looking at his family It's like five in the morning The sun's barely even out Just looking at his family asleep on the couch And they just putting on sunglasses is walking straight out the fucking front door. Just I got one more silver dollar

Like lighting up a cigarette In the living room and just being like so long Like a badass like Oh fuck this shit Like an action movie Like the end of the action drama We'll meet again someday I hope

But now Our baths must part ways Burn a damn I want a more silver dollar You'll understand someday Not gonna let them catch me No Not gonna let them catch

What you'll understand Is that I Do not want to deal with this right now The midnight rider You guys are actually stressing me the fuck out right now You guys are not chill at all The little one yells a lot

The big one Which is the mom It yells even more And it's just really harsh in my vibe And you guys are broke as fuck Yeah you guys I feel like I'm the only one Making any fucking money right now

And maybe I don't want to give it to you guys Yeah How is this baby making no money? Can't use any of this fucking money on tattoos or any cool shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. You guys don't want me to smoke a crack even though it's objectively pretty cheap. It's super cheap.

My dad never paid child support. So he kept all his money. Oh, girl, as he should. I got one more silver dollar. And I'm not going to let him catch me no. Not going to let him catch deadbeat father. That's good. Yeah, that's good.

We're going to have to do a little bit longer because That's okay We have the joy The joy of Of Of Of uh Linguicizing with these

Mothers I love to linguacize I love to language I'm about to get our linguistic up on your pocket Yeah Yeah Fucker Saying that in the courtroom

As an attorney About to get linguistic on your ass Motherfucking your honor Was that Robert Jackson Before addressing the Nuremberg court. I'm about to get linguistic up on you. Yeah. Justice Jackson

before the IMT International National Laboratory Tribunal. I don't know if y'all know, but the motherfuckers in the box next to me are crazy. They do not understand this fucking... You did what? With those babies?

Saying that to Rudolph ass. Hold on a goddamn second. I think that's a mullin bit. I think he did Steve Harvey at the Hague. Oh, did he? Fuck. Okay, sorry, sorry, Nick. My bad brother.

It's okay. It happens. Nick, if you're out there, please respond to one of my messages from last year, so help. That's what the messages say. Say, help me. Help me. Nick, help. It's me, help.

Me, your friend has never done anything for you. Help me. Help me. Help. I know you've only... Malin. I know you've only helped us. in ways that were actually very helpful,

but we need your help even more. As it turns out, we need your help again, Mr. Mullen. Anyway, yeah, then I won't keep doing that. I don't remember him doing that, but I believe that he probably did do that. Anyway. I saw it.

It was in his stand, but some point in my son. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, it was really, you had to be there a moment. The Hague is different from the Nuremberg trials, so I will,

I'll stand on that. Yeah. How about the nervous, nervous, nervous, nervous? Nerd trials. What happened? Did I do that? Did I do that? Oh my God, I killed how many?

Goofy at the fucking Nuremberg trials. Well, gore-gosh. I don't know how that could have happened. I was the only leader of the election. Captain. Goofy Hitler Goofy Hansberger leader of the SS

It says you signed a This letter and mailed it to Hitler and then winter of 1942 asking for More troops to the Pukenwald camp True that you distributed poisonous bones Well I was you know I was I was just following orders Gorge I didn't know what was

going to happen. I was just the Rags Marshal. I was just commander of the Luflopha. I was following orders. I was just following orders. See? It wasn't me. What is somebody else?

It actually says here, goofy, fuck, what did I say? Your last name was? Goofy, whatever, hamburger. It actually says... Goofy hamburger. Rax Marshall, goofy hamburger. It actually says right here that you signed off on the construction. of over 200 concentration camps for

Choose Romani, Gypsies, Jehovah's Witnesses, Cripples, and Homosexuals. Well, I don't recall. It wasn't that many Jehovah's Witnesses. Probably in Poland. Couldn't have been more than 200,000 have in Poland. It's a total of those witnesses. What are they?

Who are they? Using American slang. On phone. him, who the fuck are they? It's not... On five, I didn't kill 200,000... A lot of them are Caribbean.

Weird. Goofy hamburger. Well, I don't quite recall, Justice Jackson, but I wish to address the court. To hove's witnesses were the easiest ones to hide the camp. They were the easiest ones to kill. Please don't knock on the door

in the concentration camp. There doesn't break any sense. They just come up to the front door. Knock, knock, knock, knock. Hey, guys, get the fuck out of here. We're going to kill you all. I tried to save him. I did.

Shut the fuck up. We don't even, you're so annoying. We don't even want to keep. She's even goofy's voice. It's a different voice. Fuck. Fuck. It's just a queer guy.

I'm not even goofy. I'm a guy. I'm a fucking guy. Rikes Marshall. Goofyham. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Oh, my name's Goofy Hamburger, and I'm basically a weird guy.

Guppy Hamburger. This podcast is proper of Disney Enterprises and all material provided is copyright of Disney. This just in third in line to be fewer of the new Third Reich after Hitler's suicide, Goofy Hamburger dies by suicide of cyanide poisoning, much like Eva Brown and many of the Nazi top brass, including all of Gerbil's family. And a new tour is released by Tonka, the Tonka truck. A wooden truck that can roll. Well, cut to our...

Now a word from our sponsors. Tonka. Tonka, Japanese. Oh, Tonka trucks. Finally. A truck made of wood. You kid can play with it. And we're back.

The suicide of Goofy Hamburger has left the Third Reich in jeopardy. Now that the war is over, Germany's denatification can finally take place. Starting off with Goofy Hamburger. Seeing as he's hardly dead, we're going to go on to the next guy. Rudolph Hoss. I believe you were the guy from Zone of Interest, which is going to be a movie in one hunt. Hi, I'm Rudolph. Like the Windier.

You're going to be in a movie called Zone of Interest, so you'll be portrayed by a guy in about a hundred years. interest. No, no. Nope, nope, you're going to be portrayed by. The sort of Pinterest. Incorrect once more. Yep, and it's different clothes I like. It's different wedding dresses.

It's finding wedding rings. Wedding inspo. Wedding inspo. And it all looks like the same shit from every wedding you've ever been to. Mr. Hess? You are here under suspicion of bad wedding inspo. You know, there's a Rudolph Hess and a Rudolph Hoss. And you can't have two motherfuckers.

Yo, hey, yo, Rudolph is? Nah, nah, a motherfucker house. Houston. Motherfucking Rudolph House. Bitch, I come down. Bitch, buck wild. Hit on the stoop since I really. SucC Soldier.

Rudolph Hoss. In the car with Lil Flip. In the car with Lil Flip. The motherfucker fucking Michael Watts. In the car with Bunby Bits are calm down Michael, Michael Watsky Swang of Boulevard

Uh, never been Trunk full of Funk I never been a punk Brutoffa Yeah, you can't have All of them had too many There was too many motherfuckers I thought that my teacher

Was lying to me In junior high When they said that Hitler's One of Hitler's closest friend's name was Himmler I was like No, I legitimately, I don't know why

but I was like, no, there's no way. And I went home on the big desktop computer at my grandma's place and I looked at it. And it was real. That's like, yeah, that's like if you became a dictator of America and you had a good friend named Bahamas,

Corley. Yeah, I'm dictator Thomas. This is one of my best friends and my trusted confidant rombus. So our new president, Ronald Grump is here. No,

no, that can't be right. No, he was really curious about it. one fair and square Ronald Grump He is a completely different guy I want to make that clear He's a completely different guy

Ronald Grump No Ronald Grump is actually pretty progressive In a lot of ways with fiscal stuff Yeah He has a lot more respect For the Federal Reserve Yeah he is in a bad mood a lot So you're going to want to be on the lookout for that

But yeah And he's not closing any of the concentration camps But he's pausing new developments Yeah They have to be grandfathered in. It's the best you can ask for. Yeah. Yeah, it is, yeah, but just historically...

It's probably easiest fuck to be the president of Germany after Hitler. Don't worry, guys. I am somebody else. I mean, Hindenberg was basically like, all right, I'm going to let you be... Well, he doesn't sound like a mid-Atlantic guy. He was like, I would let you be president. I can't do a German accent, but just promise... I hope to...

I just want you to understand that you have a very important duty And as soon as he took power, Hitler was like, all right, everybody. Daddy's, daddy's in town. So basically, we are asking that you don't do the Holocaust whenever you become president. Because for us, that would be like a huge no-no. A blight on the German people. That's number one on the no-no list is kill all Jews. And for some reason, Jehovah's Witnesses and Romani's and, you know, you can really tell,

when they get to the subcategories, worries you kind of realize how they got away with it. I mean, when they're like, we killed all people who, it was like, we killed everybody who had a blue rug or whatever. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, that's honestly fine. When people, I, when. We killed everybody who went to baseball games to catch a foul ball.

Okay, those people, you know. When, uh, when, one of the things that kind of gets, gets my, gets my goat, grinds my gears is when people are like, There's no way they killed six million in that short amount of time. And I'm like, if you look at the Indonesian genocide, which we helped do, they were killing like 10,000 people a day. If you watch that documentary, the act of killing, one of the guys that was a part of it breaks it down. He was like, he was asked how many people he thought he killed, he was like, his team killed in a day. And he was like, oh, a thousand. And then a documentary guy was like, that's impossible.

And he was like, no, it's pretty simple. If you do it like this. and then they pulled him he brought him to a place in town that was still intact and it was just this big balcony and then there was a pole in the middle and he was like

what you can do is you tie a rope and you tie 10 people around the rope around their necks and then you put a stick on the other side and then you pull the stick really hard and it chokes 10 people at once and they die and he's like you do that

15 hours a day for like a year you know what I mean it's like you know you get up to 2 million pretty easy I mean he was saying this in Indonesian language not as me So I'm always like, yeah, I mean, it's totally possible to kill like that many people in six years or whatever.

I mean, I think the final solution was around like 40, I don't remember. But anyway, also, if you are a Nazi guy and you're like, the Holocaust didn't happen, but also there's an inherent contradiction with a certain type of fascist that like the Holocaust didn't happen, but also it should have. That is one of my favorite types of guy you meet online. You know what I mean? There are guys that are like, actually it was only 250,000. per the Red Army's notes and census. It's funny to hear about the Holocaust and go, well, you might if I play devil's advocate here?

Well, that's their thing is they're like, they're not playing devil's advocate. They're like, it didn't happen, but it also should have happened. It's like an entirely new third position, and I don't mean that in the way that you think that it normally means. It is just as, as tween millennials say,

a secret third thing, which is fucking disgusting. It's largely due to them being stupid. It is fuck. Yeah. Hey, I want to make one thing clear on the Pada type podcast. If you are,

if you subscribe to any of that type of ideologies, you're no good scoundrel and you're lower to the ground than a dog's dick. Probably not listening anyway. Actually, you'd be surprised, man. You'd be really surprised. And they come from a podcast

that I won't say the name of, but it's a dear friends podcast. Oh, no, I don't, but who cares? A dear friends pod, some of his guys come on over to the Pendejo Times side of the river and they do not like what I have to say Actually who gives a fuck If you're mad at me

If you if you're from Lemon Party and you're mad at me For showing Ben like two communist books I'm gonna kill you You're the gayest guy of all time There's like an entire community of like Or a sub-community of people that's in that show That are mad at me For making, I guess showing

The thing is people just get bored I mean Yeah yeah yeah they do get bored Yeah it's all good they'll get bored with you and there'll be somebody else. Gorse, anyway, I think this would probably do it. Thanks for listening to the show. And, yeah, thanks for listening to the show.

If you are in New Orleans, January 28th, tickets are up right now. Sports drink in New Orleans, January 28th, 7 and 9 p.m. Two motherfuckin shows. Nalens. We will be in Nalens. Not a motherfucking Nalens. It's the weekend before Marty Gras. So kick your Marty Girl off with the Pendejo ass time and come see me and Thomas live at sports drink with some local heavy hitters opening up for us.

And then we will be doing stand up and live pod a little bit at the end. Yeah, I will link the tickets in the bio of this episode. But please get tickets to that. If you are in New Orleans of the surrounding area, if you're from Baton Rouge, Lafayette, Lake Charles, Rama, Balsier, Balsier City, fucking Vermilion parish. fucking goddamn hum down there in the bayou fuck I'm forgetting the name who gives a shit if you're in Louisiana

come see the fucking show Louisiana is not that big it's easy to actually it's a terrible estate to drop it's very scary but uh drive it a lot of evil police officers who will just kill people for fun so keep that right regardless of your race don't drive drunk that night

don't even drive it dark if you're coming from out of town even if you're white Yeah, don't, yeah. Even if you're blonde. Just don't. Anyway, you got anything else? Anyway, thank you guys for listening.

Have an amazing weekend. Plug your show, too. Also come to, um. Colomas. Colomas, October 30th, uh,

life world with, uh, some very funny comedians. Me and Caleb Pitts are splitting an hour. Uh, and it will be very fun. Please come to it. Um,

tickets are, I think like $15 or something like that. Not too bad. And then I'm doing a free show at Pine Box Rock Shop and Bushwick this Sunday at 9 o'clock if you want a little taste. It's free. All right. Thank you guys.

Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye.