Pendejo Time - Hombres 2 (Ft JT Kelley and MycalDede)

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

You can watch the video here

What's up, fellas? We're back with Mr. Mike Dead Aiden. Of course, Mr. J.T. Oh, my God. We're back to the show. We'll note that J.T. has got a sick new facial hairdo because he was Muslim for like 72 hours. Black Hebrew Israelites. Black Hebrew Israel.

Actually, I did do it for a full week. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was supposed to meet up with them right after I went to the barber. And then I went and they had already left. And so I was like, oh, I got to keep this haircut and mustache for a full week. It was nice. Does your hair grow fast?

or you're going to get the mustache back to cover the mouth? I think it'll grow pretty fast. I usually always have a big fucking cartoonish mustache. I have not seen your lips ever, and it is unsettling. I feel like a slut. Yeah, I hate them. There's a ISU, when you started, the first time we did an episode together at your old place,

and you told me about the ISUPK, like my phone did the thing where you say it to me and I started getting nothing but reels about it. And there was a school in Alabama called like the compound of knowledgeable black geniuses. I'm not even kidding it. It's one of those acronyms where you're like, I was joking with J.T. Like the first time we did an episode, like it's a black acronym.

You know what I mean? Like the universal ingenious man of the Titan of the King. What is this that you're talking about? The Black Hebrew Israelites School. They have a school. Yeah, the International School of Universal Practical Knowledge. Oh, yeah. They have schools, captains, officers.

It's an incredible organization. They're there just like learning how to like cook. Yeah. It's a giant home at class that they're doing. It's like if Scientology was like cool black. guys. That's so funny. The same organizational structure as different Scientology orgs because they're all like

want to be Prince black guys. Yeah. Are they sending their kids to the school? Like how many kids are in the school? They send their teenage boys there. So the video that I saw, it's a compound and they like box each other and they hit each other with like fake swords and stuff. They're doing just straight animation.

Yes. They're all like in my opinion, I-SupK stuff is like black keeper Israelite stuff is the natural conclusion of anime black guy. Yeah. Like it's, it's homeschool anime black guy. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like cool.

Because I think anime black guy is a thing where it's like, oh shit, anime's cool now. In Atlanta, you're like a cool anime black guy with Harry Potter glasses and dreads. Yeah. That's a cool fucking guy. I think it speaks to the corrupted spirit of white people that if you homeschool a white person, they just become like a school shooter or a rapist. You homeschool a black guy, he becomes a wizard. He becomes like a Chinese wizard.

He's into some racist like shit. Like he's into some like anti-Semitic psycho. shit. But he's not blowing a school up. He's just like, yo, I got magic powers. I'm just working on them. You know what I mean? Whereas you homeschool a white kid for too long. There's a solid chance he becomes a prolific didler. He's like, I have to shoot someone. In my church growing up, there was a black guy named Adosa in like my homeschool community. And Adosa went through this phase where he was trying to stare at a soda can to dent it. And he was also like my youth leader and stuff. And I remember him,

always referring to himself as the Spanish word for black all the time. He'd always use full Spanish sentences to describe himself in black and I'll think it's so weird a dose, so don't do that. Yeah, yeah. There was a kid, there were two kids in my school that would fight, two

autistic kids. One of them was an anime black kid, and the other one was this like scrawny white kid. Dude, they would stand across from each other in the entrance to the lunchroom and they would charge up. Hell yeah. One would go, and the other one would go, like they were like,

Dragon Balls-E style. Dude, and then they would run at each other and throw the gayest punches of all time. I imagine that's how, like, the, the gladiators actually were. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I imagine in the Coliseum, it was all just, like, autistic-y anime people, like, you know, play fighting and everyone having a good time watching them. We have to think, like, in the movies, they're all jacked and they have, like, you know, 40, 50 pounds of muscle. Like, all the gladiators back then were slaves.

They were not eating protein. They weren't getting their steps in. Yeah. They were, like, probably skinny fat and had syphilis and were, like, falling the fuck apart. I like, I miss the hills of Spain. Yeah. I miss my family. Oh, my fucking God.

I've been working on this bit about how I think what really makes, like I think all the misogyny in the world and like where the school shooters come from is really white women's fault. Tell me more. They raised their kids and I used to be an elementary school teacher. Yeah. And there's a way that. Before the gations. Huh?

I said before the gations. Before the gations. Before the gations. Yes. Before I was removed. No. But there's a way that I believe white women talk to children. children that is, it's very infantilizing, and it makes them go insane.

Because I was going insane and listening to it. What they do is they won't tell the child to do something. They try to get that, like, what did we say? What was our company? What is this? I'm like, he's seven. He thinks the moon is following the car. Just tell him the thing you want him to do.

Stop talking like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say that like a man that's never had his car followed by the moon. Well, this is the thing that I make. If you ask a white guy. who's your top three rappers? What were they going to say? Eminem number one.

Eminem's number one, right? And the guy that does the I want to say it music videos. Tom McDonald's number three. I didn't tell him to say Eminem, right? What is the number one? What does Eminem mostly rap about?

Like white, like his mom? Yes, wanting to kill his mom. And white guys hear that and relate to it and I think it's because they're moms. I think that there's a connection there.

I haven't made it yet. One of my favorite, like, just universal tropes, like, it's in movies and memes is, like, the first time a Hispanic or a black kid hangs out with a white kid, and the white kid tells his dad or his mom to shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's so... So I was the white kid, and I, me and my dad, as soon as I was able to do, like, five push-ups and I, like, I could see my nuts. Me and my dad had beef. So from, like, 12 on, it was like, as soon as I get big enough, motherfucker, I'm... But I would let him know. He would let me know.

He was like, I didn't want to raise you, really. And you don't like me, so, hey. And so anyway, I don't you admit that is fair. It's very fair. It's very fair. So I would have friends over to play Tony Hawk,

and my dad would come up there and be like, hey, I need $20. And I would like, and I would like, kill your son, fat faggot. And he would be like, what?

And then my, but my friend would, like, turn to me and be like, do you call your dad? Yeah, that's insane. I'd be like, yeah, but he calls me a piece of shit,

retard, But they couldn't call. I was like, does your dad piss you off? And you'd be like, yeah, no, my dad's like a bum too. And I'd be like, yeah, my dad's a bum. Like, just tell your dad off. And he's like, no, you'd kill me. I can, I know for a fact I could beat the shit out of my dad right now, but I would never say that.

Never smiled after. Never. Huh? Could I take him too? I think you probably could at this point. Let's get your dad's in the mess. He's injured right now. I can take him out, you know.

Yeah. I get it, though. He's got a torn ACL. Yeah. I get it though. Like you have like I think there's a different high like there's a different hierarchy structure of like uh of respect like in like in my like for me for example I would never ever never talk back to my mom I'm a mama's boy like she raised me on her own she's like a single mom like dad all off my dad wanted to ride dirt bikes instead of teaching me how to read like I get it you know what I mean like but I think I just don't understand why it doesn't translate over it because no one's better at roasting than like a black 15 year old kid yeah how are you not going to cook your own dad yeah you know what I mean like you could you could you know like he's a bum his dick doesn't work he has no money your mom probably cheats on him all the stuff like how do you not cook your own dad but then it's like oh well your dad will just kill you

yeah i know my dad would he would literally probably beat the shit out yeah yeah my dad never hit me growing up my mom did all the hitting and whatever but he would just like talk to me he was real patient really good with kids my mom was not very good with kids um and i think she's good with like people yeah you know but kids i don't think she not the best my mom was like she never laid her hands on me she was purely psychological operations yeah my mom like she had me way too young and so she had to like adjust to being a parent so she's like i would fucking do something she was like did you knock that over and i would be like no

and she'd go if you keep lying to me something terrible is going to happen it's like a green beret interrogating like a taliban and i would be like okay i did knock it up She's like, so what do I tell you about the truth? The truth is what matters the most in this world. Am I correct? And I would be like, yeah. My dad would be like, I get fucked. I don't know what the fucking guy's talking about.

My parents ran my house like a fucking military school. Were you homeschool? Oh, yeah, I was homeschooled. We also had like very structured discipline. Like everyone in my homeschool community had like a special type of leather made paddle called the Shallywacker that you'd get spanked with. Made by Mrs. Showaiwaker. And-

Wait, her name. It was a proprietary paddle owned by the lady whose name was also the namesake of the battle. She made him for the family. She was hustling out these spanking spoons. She's like an Irish. That sounds like an Irish-ass name. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Oh, yeah. How many people were in this commune? Not a commune. We all lived in South Bay, Los Angeles. Oh, okay. Torrance. It's awful in California. Hermosa Beach was where the church is.

But big old homeschool community. If I disrespect my parents, I was getting swats. Yeah, yeah. I got spank till I was, like, fucking 12 years old. To where it's like, this is weird, and I've seen porn where this is. sexual at this point you can't do this anymore how old were you guys when you guys do you guys get spanked grown up a little bit a little bit like but it was a lot of like it wasn't like an official like bend over spanking it was like a fucking like hey like a quick one like there was no ritual to it like one of my cousins there she got the ritual like they would get the paddle out like bend her over the couch and like beat beat the fuck out of her and I would do after care my parents did Christian after I swear to God this is true and you can watch the video is a Gary Inzo teaching parents to do this. This is like, after you spank your kid, you hold them and you say like, I love you.

This is just about obedience. You need to submit to my authority. That's so strange. And it's so weird because I'm like, I'm definitely like a spanker sexually. I don't know if my parents like wrote that in me, but Gary Inzo. Your source code. Growing kids God's way is what that. That's what it's called.

I'm going to watch it. This is, well, when I taught elementary school, one big thought, that I had is that like when you work with little kids the idea of hitting them is like my parents are insane they're so small yeah you don't why would you hit them yeah yeah like it just it feels wrong because I used to knock I taught first grade for one semester and I quit because I was too big I would knock these kids over all the time because they creep up behind you and you turn around and they're there and I would feel horrible yeah I would spend the rest of the day apologizing so to like voluntarily hit a child is madness and

I grew up getting molested. You meet a seven-year-old, and it's like, dude, you're not even sexy. You're stinky. Yeah. Every five or six-year-old I've ever met, I'm like, oh, you smell bad. Who goes down this road? You're like, oh, dude, you're going to get in. I'm about to change your fucking life.

I got the low line. You're like, bad they stink. They literally smell bad. Yeah, kids are very gross. Yeah, I remember, like, I had a cousin who, who her family, when I would be over there, they would babysit me, they would do the, like,

they would like, you know why we hit you right because you disobeyed us and you disobeyed God and God doesn't like that. Yeah. And I remember, like, for all the beef me and my dad had,

my dad, like, stuck, would stick up for his kids, but in like a, in kind of a psychotic way, like I would come back over there from my uncle, like my place where I was like my babysitter. Yeah, I'd be like,

hey man, I'm going to ask you question. Man, you just, yes or no. And I'd be like, okay. And he was like, today, you know, hit you with anything or give you your lecture about Jesus or any of that gay shit. And I would be like, I know. And he's like, well, if they ever do, let me know so I can shoot him. Because he was like, he was like not particularly like, at least early on not religious. And he just thought all that shit was just weird.

He was just like, it's child abuse. Yeah. He's like, if you're going to abuse your kids, just smoke crack and miss their birthdays. Yeah. Don't throw them down the stairs. Be a piece of shit. Yeah. Be a passive piece of shit.

Yeah. We're not going to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Be a passive. just work on old cars smoke meth don't fucking yeah do y'all want kids

i know j t definitely does i want kids for sure i think i go back and forth yeah uh because i don't know it seems fucking crazy it seems i would love the i would love to foster like a group of boys like on the weekend or something like that trade them to fight yeah fight each other for well no i just want like kids who are like in a fucked up environment like at least one day a week they know like oh we're gonna like go out we'll do some type of fun activity i'll help them with their homework or whatever and then like send them back i love working with kids i mean i was a teacher but do like big brother program yeah like something like a really good structured big brother program i want to have kids that i stake my life on not getting molested oh yeah that's gonna be

my thing just protect no one's molesting these kids every school you drop them off at you're like all right first and foremost yeah they're wearing like gopros on their head we should like a full green beret kit we should make a summer camp and that should be the entire hook of the summer camp because there's a hundred percent money back guarantee that we won't molest your kid if your kid gets molested you get double your money double your money back you pay a thousand dollars you get two grand back well we screen everyone just got a bunch of gambling dads yes they're like bloody out there stilly yeah yeah yeah yeah we screen everyone by uh the the interview process is just three different black women and they all look at the white guys and go I don't trust and then for

black people because it seems like black people won't even less kids when they're good at music like R. Kelly and Drake you know and Michael Jackson

so they have to sing the Star Spangled Banner and if they sing it too good then we're like no put that motherfucker in jail Yeah go to prison Yeah that's how we do it At DeAndre's summer camp

Yeah DeAndre's hashtag No Touching Summer camp for boy For wayward boys and girls That's how we do it Did they ever send you I thought I was straight up

going to camp like a weekend getaway camp and i found out while i was there that it was like a camp a christian camp for troubled kids yeah uh it was like uh it was like so my we're like oh you and a bunch of kids from church are going to go to this like camp yeah and i was like oh cool like i was like probably like 13 or 14 i was like smoking weed doing whatever and i was like oh i don't really want to do this my mom was like you're going i was like whatever we'll get to go to the woods and hike and you know swim in a lake or whatever and i got there and from like 6 a m to like 6 p.m it was like um walking in the woods reading scripture Like, and you're rock climbing and stuff, but it's, like, hard.

Yeah. It's not fun. They're like, get up there now. And you're like, I don't like. I had to stand in line for dinner and, like, lunch and stuff. And, like, if your line broke even a little bit, like, it wasn't a perfectly straight line, you'd be like, all right, your seven minutes starts over. Yeah, yeah.

You'd wait, like, an hour of standing perfectly still altogether to go get. What's weird is I wasn't even a troubled teen. My parents just thought it was a normal church camp. So I went to Wolf Mountain Camp for Troubent's with the Venture Church. I was a weird homeskid. They were just beating the shit out of it. They all knew cuss words and stuff like that. They all called me gay because I had a high voice.

I was like, I hate it here. Yeah. They just didn't read the brochure. They thought they were sending you to like sleepaway camp. It was advertised as like a way to, you know, if you, a behavioral camp for teens. And my parents are like, oh, JT's disobedient. Not like doing drugs or cussing or watching secular movies disobedient, but like not cleaning my room when they told me to or something like that. So I was like, oh, this would be a perfect fit.

And it's like, no, these kids like fight each other. these kids hate God these kids don't even submit themselves to Jesus that's so crazy guys I've always been curious like because you hear about it as sort of like an evil nebulous thing but I don't understand like conversion camp is real

I'm always like what do they do? I've always been curious like what do they do with those things? What if you go to conversion camp and then at the end of the week when you pay your card declines and they start molesting your kid in front of you? Just the gayest preacher of all times are touching your son Fuck! No! No!

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, do they... Exposure therapy. Reverse. Reverse. Revers. They just do exposure therapy, they just let the kids fuck. I thought, I really, I remember reading in one of the, like, it was like a Rolling Stone thing where, like, there was one where they would show the, they would show the kids, like,

not pornography, but like sexual, like straight movies. They would show them to the boys, and they'd be like, see? That's straight up grooming. Yeah, like, it would like a topless scene. They'd be like, see, we're only watching this because we're, we're only watching this because we're trying to help you. Yeah, that's so weird. Well, conversion therapy doesn't work because, like, everyone knows getting electrocuted makes you gay.

They're, like, fucks with your, like, shit. Yeah, like Blanca from Street Fighter was gay. Static Shock was gay. J.J. Watt, electricity, he was gay. Yeah, I mean, they're all gay. Electricity makes you gay. Thomas Edison? Yeah, Tesla was gay, famously.

Oh, Thomas Edison? You know that guy? You invented electricity? Yeah. Gay. Gay. Yeah. Yeah.

Benjamin Franklin? Also gay. Yeah, yeah. He was flying a kite in the rain. That was what they called sucking cock. I love that he lived in a time when I was like, I should just like make a book of like all little cute stuff I say. Yeah.

He was like, you know what people would love my little? He goes, A little sames and he earned. He goes, God, the people would love that. I'm going to compile all my best little sayings and just put him out there for people. He's making Bucky's refrigerator magnets before it was a thing.

I remember when I was in a, what grade was? This was like junior high. and my dad told me that when they excavated the land under Benjamin Franklin's house they found like 10 kids skeletons this is real it's not a conspiracy there it's 100% real and the running theory is that he was a lot like at the time he was like an American Leonardo da Vinci so he studied like cadavers and so this is the thing that like gets like but my dad was like a crazy guy and so he was like no he was like a prolific killer of children

Yeah And I was in eighth grade I had so many like very similar stories of this I would like raise my hand We would talk about Benjamin Franklin I'm like yeah they dug it through his house In Virginia and they found a bunch of kids rib bones My teacher's like she's like a 23 year old

Alcoholic like creative writing major Who like never wrote a book So just started teaching English Like Jake please take your desk outside Please put your desk out They found 15 toddler femurs In Benjamin Franklin's yard It's like yeah outside

Jake please stop saying toddler femurs Please please please please please please please please Benjamin Franklin was a science man right So he was like one of those like When science and philosophy were like You were a guy that like Fucked around with dead bodies and read a lot

So you were called a natural philosopher I would argue he was probably making Human Animal Hybrids Yeah for sure If you said hey why does if you ask me off the cuff right now JT why did Benjamin Franklin have a dozen dead boys He'd go oh he's probably making you know A man of animal hybrids

one of the uh the it probably didn't help that he was also like all the freemason stuff is like not real and like the illuminize not real for the most part he was straight up doing like uh black mask stuff where he would like go and they would dress in black cloaks and like have sex and like bachanali and stuff fuck yeah uh and uh he's like a big fat like bald fucked fucked up idiot he looked like russian limbaugh but he was just getting mad pussy because he would go to these like basically like evil like fake catholic sex parties and stuff i love the fucking science that was like yeah i my piss for two months and when it turned white I set it on fire I'm that type of wizard too I'm also that man of science coming out of the Enlightenment area must have been like crazy because it's like okay you know how to read and write at like basically the same level

we all do now but you don't know what P is like on a fundamental level like you don't know what come it like you're like come is probably like a life energy you know or like your eyes you're like I don't know what an eye is I can read it right I can kill people with my hands

I don't like when I have how what it the fuck is a baby I come in this lady and a guy shows up nine months later like what's happening it must have been so fucked up because I was homeschooled I still have that question because I'm homeschooled I'm like I don't know I just found I found out like all about like what the period is recently and like ovulation it's down the fallopian tubes and all the stuff it is great have you seen a video of childbirth before

yeah of course we didn't have health class or anything anything like that grown up. It is nuts, dude. Yeah, it opens up, dude. It's fucking wild. Well, I, because I was an elementary education major, so you have to take, we took four different parenting classes. And the lady taught parenting one, two, three, and four.

Yeah. And every semester we had to watch a video of a child being born. And I swear to God, every video, the vagina got hairier. Were they all white women? I don't know. The races, I'm just saying these bushes were insane. Swag. Like, every video.

I was like, all right, well, you know, parents are number four, surely. But we're talking like, yeah, you just took off your hat. It was like that. Nice. And then a baby's just, like, popping out or whatever. Terrifying shit. It's crazy they don't get, like, a year off of work, like, for having a baby. And they do an ever other developed country.

That's insane. That's insane. You get a year off in the NFL if you tear your stupid fucking knee. These girls are ripping their whole cuder open. Oh, yeah, back in six weeks. Six weeks is wild. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.

That is a life-changing injury. Yeah. It'll never be the same. I think, like, whenever people get all, you know, you talk, people, you'll talk about, like, the Nordic system or whatever and, like, you know, like social democracy, right? And every now and then, and I understand when these people are coming from and I agree with them to some extent, but somebody will be like, well, it's very racist over there. And I'm like, it's racist here. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a racist competition. Yeah. We can do pretty good. If you're telling me that Nordic people are racist, okay, they fucking get to take six months off when they have kids. We're racist here. and it's like, hey, you just pop a baby out. Get back in the factory, baby. I love that argument of like, oh, well, the reason these places are good is because they

have a homogenous society, which is insane argument. It's crazy. Yeah, this is white people just saying, look, I have to, if I see a black person, I will go insane. I've always one of my favorite, and I go like, well, what does that mean to you? And they go, it's just like a smaller country. I go, well, that's not what you said. Yeah.

You're telling me. If I see a brown person, I suddenly don't want universal health insurance. something about it's kind of like what settlers is about the myth of the white proletariat in a very rudimentary sense it's like yeah white people are so fucking crazy in america that if they see a brown person they literally will be like yeah i don't want my life to be good if their life is bad my life is also yeah that's my grandpa you saw me say a white guy would shit his pants just to make a black guy smell it yeah i mean i love that phrase lbj was the one that was like you know let uh tell the white man to like look down in the black man he won't notice why you pick his pockets or whatever yeah i mean i we need an lbj so bad i in on the left. No, wait, wait, go on, dude. We need a guy who, who, and I think that's why, like, people like Gavin Newsom, like, yeah, it's politics or mid or whatever, but I think we just need a guy. Joe Biden could have been that guy, but he lost his brain.

Like, if you watch those old interviews where, like, he's defending segregation. Yeah, maybe that. But he's doing it in a very alpha way. But, no, like, the old debates were, like, in 2008, Joe Biden, where he's, like, going up against, like, Giuliani, and then making fun of Matt Ryan and Sarah Palin, calling her dumb bitch. We need that kind of energy. That's why they're losing to Trump. The Democratic Party is full of losers. They're just like weak, absolute losers. And I think you need an LBJ who will like corner someone, pull his dick out and say, you're going to pass this bill. I am

going to rape you. I think that's what Democrats think Beto O'Rourke is. Yeah. And he's a loser. Democrats saw Beto O'Rourke do a kickflip in a water burger and they're like, okay. Oh, this guy's cool. This guy's in. Yeah. I mean, I understand the idea of like the every man tough guy I guess Democrat but it's like they've backed themselves into a corner where it's like you can't be that yeah like they're all get they're like they've been doing a lot of interviews with Pete Buttigieg

he's a loser he's a rat yeah yeah he was like when asked about Israel like after that video of them like literally like turning a car with a baby in it to like Swiss cheese he was like our relationship with them is very complicated and when it's time to have hard conversations

about it's like this is why black people don't like Pete Buttigieg's and everyone thinks it's because he's gay and it's like no it's because he's it's because he acts gay that's all it is black people love gay people we just don't like gay shit

and everything Pete Buttigieg said this is gay shit oh I need to need to make sure that the children of God's what are you fucking talking about they're getting ran over by taints you fucking moron he's like well he's acting like they're getting like parking tickets yeah yeah yeah I want to snatch his shitty beard off

I hate Pete Buttigieg so much I hate him so much, do you. I hate him, and I hate Cory Booker. Yeah, fuck, Cory Booker. That's why I'm always, like, I don't think we should be hating AOC that much, because I think that's missed hatred that we could be applying to Cory Booker. Yeah, Cory Booker's ass. I want to shove him into a locker so bad.

He sucks so much dick, dude. I hate, every time he does, like, one of these, like, oh, I'm going to talk for 22 hours. You know what you could do? Kill yourself. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't take that long. It doesn't even take that long to kill yourself. All right, well, there goes to my hacking career. I just told the senator to kill himself.

No, dude, no, I'm actually think we should double a triple down. People want these guys to die way more than people think. Like, I remember when Mangione killed that CEO and, like, people were like, even conservative people were like, yeah, well, you know, yeah, that makes it. It's a demon from hell. Yeah, yeah. You know, that man's actually acting as the right hand of the Lord. That's a demon for, every time I hear the name, Gavin Newsom, it's like my Orthodox Christian in K-Oltra Trigger,

where I'm like, oh, I should do something to get in the news. Every time I'm like, though, God wants me to do something to get in the news right. Yeah, yeah. Even hearing this name. Yes. One thing I think about, like, you know, everybody's like, oh, we need a liberal Joe Rogan. No, what you need is John Brown style hand of God anti-racism. You need to convince the people of the South once more that their purpose is not to uphold this stuff.

It's to have a psychotic break and then be the instrument of the Lord that liberates your fellow man. That's what happened to John Brown. He was like, I literally love God so much that I will not let him, I will not let anybody keep my brothers and scissors and chains. So I'm going to start cutting off people's arms and heads. How do we get a leftist Joe Rogan? No, you need to go the other way. You need to find it within yourself. Find a guy, a corn fed dude.

You need a cool Mexican Bobby Sands. Yes, you cool Mexican Bobby Sands or like a corn fed Jack Reacher looking guy who's like, we need to start cutting off preachers heads. We need to start literally raping preachers in the street. we have to like cut their legs off we have to do fucking Spanish inquisition shit to these like prosperity we do need a white guy to lead the new left though that is the thing

and I think it's because like like you said they do have the argument of like a homogenous society but I think no one feels comfortable doing something if they're the only one doing it you know what I mean and the Democratic Party is very like kind of anti white guy but there's no cool white guys so I think white guys just go hang out with the milk boys

or do whatever the fuck you know like yeah Jasmine Crockett is fine, I guess, if you're like a 45-year-old mom, but it would be nice to have some type of masculine guy on the left, even if it's center left, just saying, hey, maybe we shouldn't, you know, maybe we shouldn't, you know, murder children or something like that. Well, it's because there's never, like, it's definitely, like, complicated, but I'm like, and I'm not smart enough to speak on it, but I'm like, that, like, every guy that they put forward is like the substitute teacher where when the substitute teacher walks in and you go,

you're gay, I'm throwing shit at everybody today. That's the energy that that party has where it's like you're a sophomore in high school, you just started smoking weed every day and the sub walks in and you go, I'm going to say the F word and the R word today. It's because they don't fuck. There's no authority.

They command no respect. They demand nothing. And then everyone tells you that you have to like them. You're like John Federman. I remember like two or three years ago. When John, people were like, yeah, we got to get behind this guy. He's the new working class left this guy. And I'm like, this guy is a bald moron who should hang himself?

He should just let the thoughts take over and he should fucking hang himself. And then sure enough, like two years later, he's like, yeah, we should just carpet bomb Gaza until there's nothing left. See, this is what I mean. I don't think you can be a leader of men if you scare the hose. I firmly believe that. And there's all the guys that they put forward in the Democratic Party, they scare the hose. It's why Aaron Rogers isn't a good quarterback. Counterpoint, Lennon did a lot of host scaring.

Lennon did Lennon legitimately Was he a leader Or was he just like a good He was a crazy good leader He was a crazy good Literally And I don't mean this is a joke

One of his confidants Who some historians think Was his pussy getting sidekick Alexander Collentai Let's go During the first women's march in Russia Lennon did not want to do it Because at the time in Russia

A lot of women were like socially spiritually backward because they had lived In religious oppression their whole lives And so a lot of Bolshevik men were like, we're not going to win with these women because they want us to beat them and throw them in holes. And a lot of the women in Russia were illiterate,

and they were like, I literally just want to cook and I want to be thrown in a hole all day. And so Alexander Collentai was a Leninist and a follower of Lenin and was like, hey, you have to march with the women, Vladimir. You have to get behind them. And Lenin's like, these girls don't know how to read and they want to be oppressed.

And she was like, well, they're going to help you win the war if you do it. And he's like, all right. So they do the women's march and Lenin's literally, he's going up to he he would like say shit like hey are you like a weird orthodox lady and they'd be like yeah he'd like fuck all right kind of like a different because he was obsessed with this idea that the women of the time were so socially backward that they would not support their own liberation and it took like it took like highly educated like bolshevik women to tell the other women like hey it's not good that you're forced fed potatoes and forced to sleep outside and they would go oh really that's bad they would go yeah and they go oh and then they would support the movement but for a long time there were lots of Bolsheviks were skeptical of the women of the movement because they were like didn't know how to read.

I want to know more about this. I really do. I just kind of swore off all European history. I've like, I've got enough. Read October, the story of the Russian Revolution by China Melville. It does a really good job of telling it in like a...

His name is Chinaman Rebel? China. No, China M-I-E-V-I-L-E. It's a great book. Yeah, read October by Chinaman Thief. I was like, brother, you'll never work on SNL with that name. Let me tell you. That's crazy.

Yeah, my name is Chinaman, Chinamen thievery, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, it was awesome. I love that. I love reading about, like, the story of the Russian Revolution is so much cooler than our story. It really, really is. Yeah, our story is about how we made a bunch of money using slaves, and then we almost did the right thing. There was, like, eight years of us doing the right thing, and then they were like, ah, the wrong thing's kind of fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I love that, like, Winston Churchill, whatever was like, like, I'm like, uh, like, uh, like America always does the right thing only after exhausting every other option it's like no America like always does the wrong thing after exhausting the right option Winston Churchill is another guy that was like

I got a little quip I got everyone to know yes yeah yeah yeah I was like I got quips everyone should know my little quips him and Margaret Thatcher were like what if I just had phrases man that's my dream desert trade desert storm trading card Margaret Thatcher

Yeah, yeah, I hate her so much, and I never was, I, like, wasn't alive for her, like, reign of terror or whatever. But I don't like that she's revered by people who piss me the fuck off. It's weird meeting people that like Margaret Thatcher. A certain type of old school conservative, like the Iron Lady, like she was, you know. Because Reagan is, like, he's out. It's, like, Trump now. Like, Trump is the new figurehead of the party. Reagan, like, by comparison, would be called, like, a rhino.

He was, like, to some degree pro-immigration insofar as, like, they can work the, they can work the fields. You ever, were you on black Twitter that day when they found out that his wife, some rumor, black people just started a rumor

that Nancy Reagan was sucking a dick. It's not a rumor, baby. Not a rumor. No, no, no, no. Either way, even if it was, they were like, this is fact now.

And these were the, that was probably one of the funniest two days on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. They called her a Hoover vacuum. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hungry, hungry hippo. That thing he was known for on the MGM lot was throat and goaten. Yeah, just talking down. Well, because she was like, she was like a Hollywood hangaround girl before she was the first lady oh man she was a she was a yeah so like a groupie but for like this is the second time we've had a prostitute in the white

yes yeah yeah yeah well dude there it's happening again with trump his own version of it where people are like oh my god epstein introduced milania to him yes she's a trafficked estonian woman yeah that's why any i never understood why people lost the debates to trump because if he talked him like that i would have just printed out i'm like this is a picture of your wife's pussy it's online for everyone to look at. Wait, it is? Yes. She has pussy pics online.

Yes. So she was literally like an Eastern blocked trafficked model. Uh-huh. And so she came over to the U.S. And before she was like a socialite figure, she was doing some of the first like full frontal nude

like modeling. And so you can see picture of it. No, we got fucking Riley Reed in the White House. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Sleeping on the same bed as Jackie O. And Michelle Obama.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sullying that room. Two other dumb whores. Dude, I love Did I say I want to make a bumper sticker? Well, it's too late now, but I wanted to say Kamala Harris, question mark. I've only heard it pronounce dumb bitch. Jesus Christ.

I love that, dude. I thought that was so funny, and I told my wife, and she was like, don't ever let me leave that house. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, she was like, say it to me. I love it. She loves me. She was trying to protect me. She said, keep that in the house.

Keep that on our property. I said, no, I should say it to my friends. And I will. Yeah, I like how a mistake. Michelle Obama was just like a, like, she just had like muscles and people were like, that's a guy. Yeah. Yeah, it worked incredible. My uncle believes that Michelle Obama is like a man.

Yeah. It's so funny, dude. It's, that is one of the things, like, to put all of your, like, ideological weight around that is so hilarious. I had a girlfriend that got transvestigated. Really? Yeah, I had a girlfriend that a bunch of people that I worked with were like, oh, she's a trans woman and we're convinced of it. That's years ago. That's so bizarre.

There was a, this just happened, I think, uh, I think, uh, forget where but um oh it was in a starbucks one of the like uh workers like demanded that this girl like unzip her like hoodie before she went into the bathroom because they were like who gives the fuck those are always single bathrooms i don't know i'm like what the fuck is the it's horniness it's horniness yeah it's a sexual there are some schools that are doing like before a part of the physical yeah for you to do athletics in junior high as they like see your pussy or your dick which is madness it's crazy dude i want the government to inspect my kid's ding

hey uncle sam could you tell me if he's got a good old hog or a bad boy hug or a clam could you excuse me god like did like an old south like fog or like pardon me governor would you mind taking a look at my son's pecker and nuts just to ensure that everything's above boy now pardon me governor would you mind taking a look at my daughter's pussy just to ensure that we are as you would say in the good graces of the authoritative We hope for volleyball games are fair-weathered, if you will. I do declare that my son has, as you would say, a sausage and eggs. Because, like, it's always in the States where they interview the mayor about the policy,

and he sounds exactly like that. It's the mascot from KFC. Yes, yeah, Colonel Sanders, yeah, yeah. Well, some people might find it how you'd say consequential or controversial, but me personally, if you come to school and you're not showing you nuts to me, I am immediately suspicious And everybody Like everybody that votes conservative is like genius

That's a political that is a political mastermind That's so good Imagine the guy from uh from Forrest Gump Just been like boy your mama sure does love you Dude now let me get a peek at that wiener I was like Try to make this like joke work forever Like a Forrest Gump 21st century where he's like

I was at the Robert E. Lay school And the kids were showing the principal They're penises and it's like a picture of him next to the principal, the kid with his band running. Now, I was at the gender clinic. Because that's what the movie was. It was just a 40-5.

Yeah, yeah. Now, I don't much understand all the gender stuff. I just kept running. It's just like him, like, running in Portland. Being chased by a bunch of butch lesbians. That's what the movie was. Like, what if a mentally ill guy was at critical moments in history? Yeah.

It was pretty good. they were yes they were I love the the fucking oh god what was the all the like pictures coming out of like

uh like all the stuff that's happening like unfortunately stuff is happening like in Israel Gaza like Gaza like other Gaza humanitarian fun where like they're uh they'll say they'll swear up and down like oh like there's no we don't have any like you know troops here or like you know special forces troops and then like the forest gum photo where he's standing next to JFK

next to a bunch of starving people there's just a guy with an M16 and a full kit with like a U.S. flag badge and it's like oh that guy's not with us I don't know who that guy's like he's in the picture he has a public Facebook where he talks about Jesus in a southern baptist way yes exactly that's so wild that is one of the craziest bits of like gaslighting that we're seeing in real time I mean just the sheer amount of lying about what's going on over there so one of the the private military firm that's running the GHF called safe reach solutions yeah that started it was the former director of the CIA special activities group cool And those guys are, like, real-life bond villains.

There's, like, 200 of them. They, like, wear wigs and contacts and get plastic surgery to, like, go kill, like, business magnets in China. They're crazy. Like, they live, they're literally, like, movie, like, Jason Bourne type guys. Yeah. The guy that's running security for that operation was director of that organization for, like, 10 years. His name's Philip Riley. I think the only reason more people aren't, like, pro-Palestinian is because Israel is so cartoonishly evil that, like, you tell people what they're doing.

They're like, that's not real. Yes. I'm not purposely shooting people in the leg and calling it mowing the grass. That's insane. I told my mom about the thing they do with the drone where they play the sounds of crying children. And then when people come out,

they blow their brains out of my mom was like, that's like something out of a movie. And I'm like, no! That's from real life. That's real. It's what they do. They're sick. They're crazy.

Benjamin and Yahoo didn't order. Organizations here where it's like they'll go to evangelical churches to raise money so that settlers can have like fucking drones that can see like heat signatures. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And it's like fucking worship night at a megachurch so that money can go to illegal settlers

to fucking. So it's like, wait, we have Christian Zionists killing Palestinian Christians with money raised at some fucking megachurch in Ohio. It's fucking madness. I know you're Muslim Day Day. Yeah. We were raised Christian. Do you know what dispensational theology is? Yeah, it's disgusting. So dispensational theology is the idea that through scripture and history, you can ascertain

God's plan for the world and then expedite it in the real world. So a lot of the people, like when Ted Cruz and Lindsay Graham say like, oh, if we back Israel, God will bless us. Yeah. That's what they're talking about. They're talking about a post-millennial the thousand-year reign of Jesus. Yes. So they're literally trying to expedite

the return of Jesus Christ by starting the Holy War so the Jews can rebuild the temple so they can become Christians which will make Christ come back. That interpretation is about as old as Black Hebrew or Israel life. This is all animation. That's all that we we need to connect this and then the and then they come yeah there's a guy jerry fall well so like yeah i remember him yeah so like around the 60s there was this big problem where conservatives were not getting a lot like they were having trouble getting evangelical christians to support israel and to support republicans who supported israel so they got this guy fallwell and his friends to basically create this ideology where it's like hey look if you back these jewish cocksuckers over there killing children what's going to happen is that's going to trigger the holy war and then christ will come back and all your family gets to go to heaven sooner and and millions of Americans in the South bought it wholesale they bought it immediately they're like oh well I hate Jews I hate Jews I can't stand them but if you're telling me I can expedite this war and Christ will come back yeah I'll support their their genocide or whatever I feel like being a Christian is probably one of the most embarrassing things

it really well not maybe not like the version of you all doing it but I'm embarrassing when I'm in heaven I don't know just sometimes the shit they tell me I'm like what the fuck are you talking about dude you have to like I one thing I I agree with you but my thing is I have to tell myself so I don't get like Reddit atheist mode is like a lot of what dominates American religious discourses as JT said like less than 60 years old Yeah like a lot of none of that is

Substantiated yeah this is all very vibes based religion It's a new yeah Like there's a guy in Bryant Texas He sells red cows To people in Israel because of the red heifer thing Oh yeah I heard about that I was looking up that red heifer thing. Yes, so he will genetically breed cows to produce like red-coated, so he can sell them to Israel.

So if they make it to Israel and not a black hair appears on their head, then that means that the temple's ready to be rebuilt and they can do Holy War and Jesus will come back. That's amazing. This guy's a billionaire in Texas. This is a Harry Potter. It's a Harry Potter-assie theory. Yeah. It's not.

What are we talking about? I have no idea. My mom will say this shit to me. She believes this stuff and I go, like, you know how you'll be talking with somebody who you think is like, maybe you get the impression off. ripped that they're like somewhat intelligent and then they say something in your brain does the rainbow macbook and you go oh i'm talking to a god damn wet brain moron yeah and you but you're already in the conversation so you have to kind of be like oh well maybe well maybe yeah that's all this shit i always

say there's like a low level as a guy there's like a certain level of misogyny you have to accept just for a peaceful life like just to make it through the day some guy's gonna come be like bitches am i right and you're like okay well my dick is out as a urinal i feel very vulnerable right now yeah and you disagree to it right right now and then you're like what the fuck was that guy talking about that's madness you know but i feel like it's the same thing do asian people have like conspiracy theories like this i know there's like a new church pop it up in korea yeah i'd love to see the chinese qanon yeah that'd be great it's called phalan gong that's what it is that is the chinese it's chinese qianon on pretty much they're also like

they have like these weird offshoot um christian churches in asia the moonies are based off of them where, like, the Mooneys are a cult out of South Korea. Yeah. Where they, like, worship, literally, they worship the AR-15 as, like, an instrument of death. That's his son in Pennsylvania. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, their church, so the AR-15 is an invention of man. Man is the son of God.

Mm-hmm. So, technically, the AR-15 was invented by Jesus. It's their rod of iron. Yeah, it's their rod of iron. The Pennsylvania one, so it's the Mooney guy's son. Harvard-educated cemetery. seminarian, whatever it's called. He fucking, he's, remember in like

2015 when those photos went viral of them all wearing crowns? Golden, crowns of thorns with AR-15? Yes. Incredible. I saw that and I was like, okay, maybe I'm in the wrong religion. This looks sick. I would love to be in the gun colt. Is there any religion that just like says you guys are just chill and get sucked off?

I think like the Baha'i. The Baha'i's? Yeah, yeah. No, Baha'i don't do gay stuff. Yes, sir, Mr. Randy. Get him. Is that, it's the Bahais coming to get him. Yeah, yeah, big, big Randy. Yes, sir. He can't come away because he'll bark even louder.

He runs his household. He's such a big, nasty motherfucker, dude. That's a huge dog, man. Yeah, yeah. He makes Hank look small, and Hank's big. He's in the middle of the camera. Right in the middle. You're in the shot.

Randy. Randy! Get out of here. I like how embarrassed he gets. It's like, fuck, I'm my bad guys. I'm like being in trouble. Mr. Randow. He's trying to lick now.

He wants to apologize. It's so awesome that you guys got that big motherfucker. Your wife was telling me that we did the same thing where we got a puppy, and I was like, how big does he get? And he became huge. And it's like, same with Randy. It's like, when it's a puppy, you're like,

bah, that's tiny. And then two years later, he's like 100 pounds. And you're like, my life's over. I'm so fucking pro-kill shelter. And, like, the people at them duck and doggy mills, they talk about dogs like fucking Christian conservatives where it's like, you're just going to spade and take that life.

Yeah, dude, I am, because no one wants that dog. And there's this entire little industry of people just passing dogs around to non-profit shelters. And I'm like, dude, all of them, dude, all of them put him down. If those dogs don't get it. Oh, well, he's actually been in the shelter for two years because he's a bad dog. Yeah, true. We dominated dogs. We won.

We made them from wolves. We won. Put down that dog. Yeah. Some dogs suck because I foster a dog. When I first moved to Austin, I fostered him on the weekends. and this one dog bit everything I had and I just remember like a couple months later

like how come nobody wants Zane I want to comment on it? I'm like because Zane sucks Zane's a horrible dog He's a piece of shit Yeah Yeah I like I think uh Was I talking to you about this?

I don't remember we were like We overcorrected on the pit bull thing Like people are like And now the standard like issue belief on pit bulls is like They're misunderstood And it's like, no. Put them down. They're literally murderers.

I want to open up a pro-kill shelter that's like comically pro-kill. And we put it right across the tree from Austin Pets Alive. And we're like, dude, if you adopt one from Austin Pets Alive, we'll put it down for free. You dip the dogs in ass. We're making dog food for the other shelters out of the dead dogs. Yeah, yeah. You're like blowing them up with C-4. You can shoot them from a helicopter like the Pampoia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five big booms for Z. So awesome I love dogs But we don't need a bunch of little doggy prisons all over this Yeah, it's true Where I go oh good You guys got like this stinky concrete area

Where they all live in cages I do think there is like This is one of my like not They're like one of my opinions that I know is bad We're like I think there's some truth to like Red Pill moron idea of like Because we are a society that can't afford to have children anymore We've fallen in love with dogs

Yeah, absolutely And so we give them too much like power Oh, shit, is this a red pill idea? It is. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. We're like, young women don't, they can't afford to have children anymore

because society's falling apart. So they give all of their maternal instincts to dogs. Yeah. And then we have to treat, we put dogs on this where it's like dogs that can do no wrong. They're like the perfect creature. We should love them more than humans. And in my opinion, I'm like, dogs are bad. I love my dog.

Me too. Humans are that this is, we're up here, dude. We matter more than dogs. I'm sorry. I'm putting a good more. I said like the same sentiment. I didn't say maternal instinct for whether. I was hanging out with my wife and I was like

yeah dude people you can't afford to have kids so everyone just treats dogs like their babies and you have doggy daycares and it's weird and she just agreed with me so now I'm like oh shit am I in a conservative relationship I think you and I think you and your wife probably represent like a good they're like it's like a good

litmus test for like oh like a lot of the stuff that I think like I you just intuitively accept it's like oh everybody is smoking dick constantly everyone's stupid as fuck all these like things that you just like kind of intuitively ingest are like this is made up by the CIA in my phone yeah where you're like oh dogs are or like oh yeah like we talked about this where it's like all the red pill guys are like yeah if you just work out

and you just like stop eating candy most of your depression will go away and me and jt talk all the time about how it sucks how right those guys yeah like like like medication like therapy and medicine are like not mostly like even there that's that's true maturity is realizing the way your dad and your grandpa handled it probably the best supposed to push it down and die from a stroke when you're 62 like a man

if you just bench press and run it out don't don't obsess over it and talk about it and create new pathologies about it you're giving energy to something to it negative you feel it you accept it say that sucks and then we move on twice a week three times a week

go pick up something that weighs 300 pounds move it throw it move it throw it get into a fight edit the gym simulated and then it's fine do you agree with the theory because I tweeted this but I think I'm on to something here which is that like I think we're just not

busting enough because I feel like with gay men they're always more successful than us and they're busting like three or four times a day you know um wait is that gay and call my ass Liberacee dude yeah I bust three four times a day well I feel like there's like a in heterosexual culture there's a big push to kind of deny what you like sexually

and and you know certain things are taboo but gay guys are like yeah just line me up and then you know use me as a wheelbarrow you know i think that that freedom just like with moving shit heavy around there's like oh i don't have to worry about coming anymore that's like not a thing now i can create apple or something like i never worried about coming i like i have a chip of my shoulder with therapy like i had a i just i fucking think it sucks and it's not real yeah and i i've i've like come back on the idea of like oh no like my I know what my problems are I know some people don't and maybe therapy is good for those people

Yeah If you shirt up don't know what's fucked up about you You need to figure that shit out I stay up late drinking and doing drugs And I don't know why I'm still mad Yeah If you know why your next thing is Okay now you just have to work

You're a Clydesdale now and if you don't Or you're a gorilla at the zoo If you don't have a big tire filled with hay You're going to start killing the other animals in the zoo I'm a gorilla at the zoo Yeah, I'm a gorilla in a fucking coop I'm a real shit I had a great therapist

He did die But Because he took on your sins Yeah The giver But no I mean I had a pretty good therapist But what I always understood is that

This was going to come to an end You shouldn't be in therapy For years and years No yeah You should learn What's wrong with you How do we solve it Right

And then you should go do it Maybe check in every once Twice a year or something like that Or something traumatic happens Yeah Just you have someone to talk to Yeah but that like the thing about like uh you know exercising and eating better and getting more sunlight

all that woo-woo shit it should not be associated with the far right it shouldn't the far left they did win it like if anybody's like yeah left we do blah blah we need it we need a liberal weapon we have to reclaim the idea of just like be a nasty bad motherfucker just go to the gym and eat fucking lettuce dude it should not belong to nazis that should just belong that's an apolitical thing know how to shoot a gun no how to fucking it stop like a people like oh no My trauma. Yeah. Blow it out your ass.

I'm tired of hearing about trauma. Well, I say, if you do have family trauma, just traumatize them back. You're old enough. Yeah, yeah. I go to my mom's house and I shoot a gun into the air sometimes. Wake up, bitch, you know? Yeah, yeah, you're old enough now. I'm like, you're fucking dumb.

It's like, what are you made? I'm going to Florida. I am going to go molest my uncle back. Yeah. You're like, you're drinking beer in the kitchen and you close the door to the kitchen. You're like, hey, bud. I don't want you know. Remember 2003?

Yeah. So I can deadlift about 4.50 these days, and you're fucked. Here's a sequel, buddy. So what are you, 63? Yeah, there's no way out for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, I haven't come in three months, and I'm on five blot you right now. We're getting through this.

I'm jacking you off. Remember how we were watching old Yeller? Yeah. And you just reached in front of my fucking Spider-Man and ones. Start to play with my nuts. So I'm strong as fuck now, dude. I'm super strong. And there's nothing you can do, unc.

That'd be so funny. Dude, look on his face where he's, like, realizing that you're dead serious. Yeah. He's 64. There's nothing. He can, you cannot stop a third prime of my life, 30-year-old young book. That's my, uh, well, that's my, uh, well, that's my rock hard, guy. He's, you know, perfect.

You guys are describing this, he goes, I can't believe there's, like, we're retirement president. Yeah, yeah, his best case. Do unto others as you would have him doing to you. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah, yeah. That is my nonprofit, though.

Me and, uh, me and about four guys, we drive around, and, uh, this is for women who have been assaulted, but we actually go and we rape your rapist. Oh, nice. I like that idea. It was called five guys, but that's already taken. Four, four guys. Yeah, four guys. We had to go four guys. I went to a therapist, and like my first thing there, I was trying to be fun.

And so I said, just let, I said, right off the gate, just let you know, you're not going to make me a trans woman. And it was like two weeks of me just being like, yeah, dude, so that was just a joke. It's just like the type of he had. And her thinking I was a plus thing. I was like, I told you, you're not going to make me a woman or gay. He's like, all right, so let's unpack that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't, uh, I remember, uh, I saw a very funny TikTok. Can I show it to y'all? And we, like, posted on the, the, the, yeah, if you show it to me, I'll put it on the, okay. I'm going to do it. Yeah, yeah. I was asking you what time it is.

It's a 12, a 257. Oh, shit. All right. It's probably like, we're probably at an hour. No, this is good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I had no service. Come on.

Oh, here it is. Anyway. Uh, no service. You need my Wi-Fi? I got it. We're going to end the episode with a TikTok from Dayday. Dude, this is,

it's so funny. Hold on. Because I feel like this. There we go. Wait to fight. This one glass of wine got me so fucking. I want to go watch.

October. I'm so fucked up off one glass of wine because I'm fucking eating 1,000, 1,200 calories a day. Why are you doing that to yourself? Cutting weight to fight.

If you feel so compelled to vote gay marriage to be illegal, it's because the butt is calling to you. The pheromones from man, ass cheeks are calling to you so heavy. You don't want to answer the door. So you're a skin.

So you're scared. So you try to vote it illegal so that you won't feel so compelled to go in much on a man's buttchecks and balls. The pussy is calling your name. And you don't want to answer the call. You don't want to be the phone. That's awesome. You got to send me that now so I got the edited that man. I'm just like we're at an hour.

I think we're at an hour, but I have no idea. I was in the 202 because I'm an uptown. What are you into? If you want to All right You do You got five Oh we got five

Oh my motherfucking Yeah Yeah All right All right All right All right All right

All right And make them all gay What you guys Got They not like us What's a top song Is Chappelle Rone still top

Is who Chappelle Rown What's that Topal Rone Yeah casual I could Fuck your ass Did I tell you guys

I went to the Club That the Pink Pony Club is after No, I didn't. Yeah, so when I was in... Dude, first of all, so I'm in L.A.

I'm singing in West Hollywood, which is a very gay place. Yeah. And I'm like bar hopping and I go to this, this... It's called cruising. Yeah.

Cruising for gay sex. I swing into this bar called the Abbey, which is this like, it looked cool. It had like stripper poles and like music and lights and stuff,

and it was real big. And, uh, I had a couple beers. there and then I'm just getting like weird looks and then like a guy starts stripping and I was like I think I'm in like the wrong spot so I leave and then I was talking to a comedian at the comedy club

I was doing spots and I was like I swung by this bar called the Abbey and then the first thing he says was oh yeah that's the song that Chaparone like Pink Pony Club and the second thing he says was literally that club is mostly known for rape it's just it's literally you go there and there is a solid

not insignificant chance you're going to get drugged and raped and man woman does not fucking matter it's rape city they are it's popular it's the most one of the most popular bars in the city yes glaring and glaring indictment on society yeah clearing indictment I'm just wearing a bucket hat saying that's my gas bucket hat

I got my gas bucket I put on my oil board uniform that's terrifying yeah no I were like why did you go alone and I was like I'm not getting raped and they're like dude grown men get fucked there do you remember the you remember that scene in the movie American history X. Of course. Sweet boy. Well, I got in trouble in high school because my, like, we watched that movie in high school.

Yeah, yeah. And then my teacher was just like, what do you think that movie was trying to say? And like, on the exit ticket. And I was like, I wrote something to the effect of like, if you're racist, eventually you will be raped. I got sent to ISS for three days because of that. I do think that movie is like a really great movie. but like, so the original director is really mad at how the film ended up. Yeah, I saw the whole controversy up there.

It's crazy. In the cutting room floor, they fucked this movie up, basically. So like, but what the version that we ended up with is like, okay, so this guy, who's a Nazi, starts talking basketball with a black guy, gets fucked in his ass and then isn't a Nazi anymore. That's basically the evolution. Yeah, that's why my logic was right. You what? Yes, that's correct.

Yes. At least in that version of the movie that we got, not the real director's cut. Edward Norton was a fascist. gets fucked in his ass starts talking Lakers with a guy and over laundry and then suddenly

is not a fascist anymore Yeah I was like damn Is that how easy it is? That is Did you, I think I told you about this JT This is a weird aside

I just thought of this There's a like Experimental therapy for like people of like political extremism Where they feed the person A bunch of ecstasy And then they do therapy with them

About their like They're bigoted and homophobia Like their association with like Political extremism And it just straight up cures them because because you get them in a vulnerable state all fucking high up on MDMA when you just love everybody

and then you're like hey man why do you hate black guys and the guy goes I don't know actually that much internet showed me videos of them fucking white women show them booty talk for yeah yeah

when I first heard about that and I was like damn we should just be doing that to all these guys just round up all these guys give them some ecstasy there's a comic who always talked to me about hypnosis porn and I'm like I don't think it's that big of a deal

I think you are finding that. Yeah, no, of course. Wait, what's the big deal about it? Like, it's hurting us? No. Like, he just tells me, like, it's a thing that, like, young boys can get sucked into. Hypnosis. He was sucked into it.

Yeah, he was. That's so neat. He's getting cucked, for sure. That's not, that's so crazy. That's like... How do you do that dress like a magician and carried a cane and had slicked greasy hair and was, like, a homeschool basement dweller, but then became, like, super redid atheist that talked about how he can make.

women come with his mind and he would talk about talking women through it hypnosis style hell yeah and he dressed like an absolute fucking vampire i love that guy dude the type of hang out like those old mall stores that would have like DVDs and action figures the card trading stores yeah yeah yeah i love that dude hitting the back walls metaphysically yeah getting in there mentally he'd hypnotize he'd play music and like he'd play music and special hypnotizing stuff for women until they came big old women the type of women working at game stop stuff stores. The type of women that are nasty.

Cracker barrel waitresses. That's what I'm talking about. Crackle barrel waitresses, absolutely. You don't even know if you're in, but you're in some crap. No, he wasn't touching him. Oh, he wasn't. He was talking him off, making him come with him nosis. Oh, that's so sick.

He'd have him get really hard, but he wouldn't undress or anything. That's crazy. I met him at an improv place, and I asked him if he got really hard when he did this. He'd be like, I was, I'd always be pulled out. I'm going to do that on. This is a real guy you're talking about? It's a real guy I met. I'm going to do that on Kill Tony.

Brick him up? threatening. I heard Dick Cheney got hit with the gay gun. That's why he shot that guy on the side of the face. Really? Oh, yeah, they were hiking, and he was like, can I suck you off? He was like, what? And then he put the ground.

I heard Dick Cheney got hit with one of China or Israel's gay guns. And then when he was on that hike, that's why he shot the guy in the head. Because the quest for butt was calling him. The yearning. I remember one of the many conspiracy, like, hey son, this is how it really happened, was my dad was like oh yeah that guy was going to leak to the news that 9-11 was an inside gig

so Cheney tried to blow his brains out forgot he had bird shot not buckshot in the and I was like that's 100% real that's real I'm choosing to believe that I believe it uh fuck thanks for coming on the show guys you guys have anything you want to plug uh no

no big spots yeah no big spots or anything I'm just hanging out hell yeah come uh if you are in Detroit uh Chicago or Milwaukee September 25th 26 and 27th Go on to linktree.com slash pandeotime and buy those fucking tickets or else I'll stop going on the road and I'll kill myself. All right. Thank you guys so much.

Thank you. Oh, yeah. You got shit? No, that's the thing. I want that. Please go to that. Buy tickets. Oh, yeah.

You are on that. That's right. I got a piece of bad. I drink. Oh, great.