Pendejo Time - Justin tendersteak

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

beef fajitaI grill my food you use your tongsto make a tacohe doesn't broil yaI can smell by his spice. Support the show

I'm having grapes. I'm having grapes. They're tasting good. They're tasting good Everybody everybody just enjoy them. We can have these grapes together They're not warm. They are cold and enjoyed Everybody everybody come try some grapes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what's the um? Till I eat grapes I'm eating these grapes as long as you feel them the day that I get my grapes the day that I start peeling them Grape you're feeling me grape dog Grape you're feeling me, grape dog.

Grape dog. Grapes taste good to me, grapes taste good to me. Come on now, grapes taste good to me. Good to me, grapes taste good. She don't even know the size of my grape. But she's all on me like she wants a taste. Yeah. Yup. Yup. Yup.

Cause I eat grapeys, I like the green grapeys and the other purple grapes are not so amazing. So I want the real tasty grapes please. Taste yum. Please taste yum. Yeah okay. There we go. See at this point it's becoming natural. It's like a second language to us. Yes Sometimes I'll be in the car and I'll be listening to a song I actually like and I'm being serious right now I'll be listening to a song that I enjoy and

I won't be singing the song in my head. Sometimes I want to be singing it out loud. It'll be like I don't know Sometimes I want to be singing it out loud. It'll be like I don't know Fucking peg steely Dan, you know, I'm in the car. I'm like, I really like stealing this is a great song and it's like Fruit it is very good. Mm-hmm fruit You have a lot of it. I'm like that what it I don't even get to enjoy music anymore, man. It just does And is your game too talented? Yes, I'm becoming too funny is the problem also I was thinking about this and I've heard other people say I think this is like a common thread, but it is way it is It's way funnier if it's just if it doesn't make any sense like

If you're like doing I don't know And we'll all If you're doing float on and you're like and we'll all eat food. It's good. It's way funnier if it's just Complete nonsense. Don't try to make it. You know what I mean like complete nonsense don't try to make it you know what I mean like I have the funniest one for me was when you said I guess you wonder where I food that one is stuck with me and see I didn't know I didn't know I'd said that before and yeah things stick with people the one that I don't know if I've actually said this on the show but I cannot listen to the song

Beast of Burden anymore. Well, I do still listen to it, but I cannot hear it and not hear my the way I do the first line now forever,, I don't even have a Second, I don't even have a full song laid out. But every time I do it a little differently It'll be like, you know, don't wanna eat your cheese Burger, it's there's lots of food. It's tasting good All I want is you to eat fries with me. Yeah, exactly. Are the fries crunchy? Is the burger good? Does the lettuce crunch? The onion rings are Are good Brown there were Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I mean the best that I guess you wonder where our food and then of course

eating trout Gotta love when you're the best one. The best one to me was When when you were doing many men and you said M&Ms taste yummy to me yeah yeah yeah of course that was that's probably my favorite yeah I was thinking about I guess you wonder where our food the other day and just just like thinking like damn that's not even like There's nothing We were so tired we've been doing that the whole episode of that boy. Yeah, I know I was like there's nothing going on there if I were trying to explain that fries within Trying to explain that to literally anybody else like what do you guys do on there? Oh, do you know like do you know music? Yeah, I fucking know songs. Okay, like name a song and you're like, okay, like I don't know fucking

um Reeling in the years and okay. What if it was eating lots of cheese? Eating good burger and then trying to have that be something that you know people understand Oh, I just thought of a really good one off the top of my head. You want to hear it? Sure. Yeah, I got you an easter themed one Okay so quick to hunt for eggs look with me I got a chocolate bunny Easter look with me you don't have to look for Easter eggs, carrot cake. What's the seniorita? Beef fajita, you taste so good.

You sizzle loud in my neighborhood. I like that a lot. I can smell you. He doesn't broil you, I can smell by his spice. Yeah. I'm eating baby back. He doesn't bro you I can smell by his spice Yeah I'm eating baby back ribs Yeah, of course I mean maybe back Yeah, yeah Justin Justin tender uh, Justin Tendersteak, yeah.

Oh my gosh. Oh my god, they're fucking calling it in. Justin Tendersteak, come on. They're saying that there's so much gas in the room that they're cooking that the pistons are firing, fuel the air mixtures, fucking dialed in. God, what's next, Foodana? Instead of Rihanna. The air mixtures fucking dialed in yeah, what's next food on a? Said a Rihanna oh I was going with Donna, but yeah, that's

Rihanna cheese on a burger Cheese on a burger cheese on a cheese on a I guess Rihanna Fenty cheese on a plenty of chips DJ solid We ate notch we ate we ate collard we our we ate cauliflower Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah lady baba ganoush. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh You okay buddy One second Hanks throwing up keep reading

Let's see Usher more like gushers the candy black-eyed peas could still instead of the black-eyed peas it be the black-eyed peas and rice or the black-eyed peas and or the pinto pea the split peas instead of Ellie Golding it would be smells de smells de smells good smell it's that smelly in a good way what are you holding all right so I mean that one works Beyonce more like be cheese on steak like a Philly cheese steak all right that's pretty easy Nicki Minaj Nicki Minaj I know somebody's thought of a good one Think with me here Nikki jerky no Simply Simply good pasta

You've heard of Nikki Minaj folks now simply good pasta Yeah, it's not gonna get much better than that on that one Ariana Grande well like Barbie on a shrimpp-A for my Australian fans. Pretty easy. I think rappers are easier than singers. These longer names are really hard. For example, Chris Brown, more like Beans Brown, like Brown Beans.

Beans brown, like brown beans. That's not a kind of bean. It's like one of the only kinds of beans there is that there's not a brown bean. I mean there are but, my bad. My bad. You're good man. I was really not doing too great on my own. And I said Chris Brown, more like Beans Brown. And then I started laughing because that's one of the only kinds of beans that there are.

That's not a kind of bean. You can say almost anything, it's a kind of bean. Yeah. But Chris Brown, more like Beans Brown. Hey, dude. This little motherfucker just threw up a bunch and then now he's talking his shit and he wants to I Think he's good Drake more like steak

Yeah bake You got to have bacon there cake Cake, he's got very very good. He's got that Shaken but yeah, we had to bake doesn't really count. Oh God damn it. Um See Kendrick Lamar, let's see

Tenders and Tenders and tenders and come on for our beef stick no Cheese stick Enlarged Cheese stick enlarged, and it's just a really big one. I'll take it. That's fine We don't have to we don't have to fight for it. In, in, in SARS. Uh, yes. And so, and SARS, like,

in, no, in, in like in sauce in source. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, that's fine. Uh, how you doing? Anyway, our point stands, um, uh, I, I didn't anyway our point stands I Didn't really have any good ones though I think I had about 40 or 50 really bad ones in a row and things were not going super clean I'm pretty bad Oh, it's a pop smoke. Yeah, I'm really popsicle

Yeah, perfect. Yeah, that's good Doesn't have to rhyme. Do you want to do you want to start over we can we can just keep no, dude I was doing fucking amazing house. Okay, gotcha All right, we're gonna say that was a really good like three minutes where Thomas said Nicki Minaj more like What I say jerky and Sasa I think I said I think I I think I gave up on Nicki Minaj. I think I said jerky and sauce And I said that's not Jerky Sasage, I think you could do that's better than whatever I came up with cardi B. I did hard candy

That's good. Yeah, that's probably pretty good I spice Mmm I spice Nice for nice price and it's kind of like you say it like maybe like a Eastern European guy like a Turkmen He's not that's not Eastern European. That's Central Asia rice. What are the what the fuck do they got going on in Tajikistan? There aren't they like Eastern European Muslims Yeah, I think the're Asian Muslims yeah I went to an Uzbek grocery store recently it was interesting they

all looked they looked like Dagestanis yeah so it's Caucasus mountain people it's um, I find it unfortunate that that they have they're kind of like like over there like Dagestan they didn't have much going on and then they get a bunch of really famous guys and Then those famous guys shut down all the nightclubs. I Remember Habib and like his crew I guess they have a lot of pool over there I remember Habib and like his crew. I guess they have a lot of pool over there

They like got most of like the nightclub shut down and then like some rapper was gonna roll through there some like middling guy And they've got they got the show canceled but he owes the government a bunch of money, and I think he got his gym rated because one of the guys he trained with ended up being like a Like a hard dick assassin or some shit That happens sometimes Yeah, happened to a lot of us happens yeah, it's there's all the time you have somebody on your show and you find out they You know, we're in January 6th happen to us with Mike Racine

Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah Mike was there. Yeah, that's right. He was there Checking there again this year January 6 to that will be fun. I It kind of dude honestly, I'm kind of upset that we're not gonna get one this year I was kind of partially looking forward to it. That's my own kind of selfishness. They did it anyway. Oh of partially looking forward to it that's my own kind of selfishness they did it anyway oh like they just weren't still weren't happy or whatever like they just kind of I mean just for old-time sakes yeah well like if they definitely every election now that would be cool yeah I know I wonder if there's

a little bit of disappointment on like the paramilitary guys in because you know whispers on the forums and you know Intel and stuff you can read That they were gearing up for the big one Like they were gonna do like they had their own beer hall putch and they were like now we're gonna get it right this time If they don't win So I wonder how much planning and like logistics went into like maybe actually going for it this time like, you know Hitler round two style back in a day and then their guy won so they like you just bought a bunch of like plastic shields and like

White face gators and dockers for nothing. You know what I mean? Like maybe you did some push-ups and stuff you went taxi driver mode and then just like your guy wins So it's just all for naught or whatever like it made me kind of sad to think about all those guys that like, you know, got all those grown men that got groomed like in Telegram and Discord and stuff and in Whatsapp to like do basically do like a coup by FBI agents and then now they just don't get to have their big day in the sun. I mean they're guy one, you know what I mean?

So like that's cool for them I suppose, but they didn't get to do the big one you know like I'm with you though now that I think I know that I think about it it would be very funny if they did it anyway it should be like the Macy's parade yeah what would be the floats just like well no I like it means like you watch it on TV every year and it's like oh they're gonna try and kill a federal officer this time. And then, you know, they try and set new goals each year. Oh, we're going to, we brought Ashley Babbitt back this time. She's a cyborg. Yeah. They do like, yeah, they'll do like, I'm going to get her name tattooed on me without telling anybody. It's just sort of a tramp stamp.

She's like, who is Ashley Babbitt? Don't worry, it was a long time ago. Oh, she knows. She knows. It would be funny to get that tattooed on me because Ashley would be like, why did you spell my name wrong? And also, whose last name is that? Like, babe, don't worry about it. There are people who, I mean, you know, it's like getting John Brown tattooed, you know what I mean?

Yeah. I understand. The revolutionaries whose name we have to remember. I understand their frustrations that she died, but I remember when that happened thinking to myself like What did you expect you know what I mean like What do you expect? What do you think was gonna happen? Like one of you guys was gonna get got

Yeah You can't just like It was a girl too. Yeah. Yeah, which I'm surprised they did. Yeah, it's like, you know, she has like tits, right dumbass When they're doing the fucking report like the discharge report dude she had fucking jitted but Pussy and you fucking blew her chest out you blew up one of her boobs dumbass the fuck idiot, dude You're supposed to shoot one of the inbred fucking Pennsylvania guy we were gonna fuck the girls We were gonna arrest them and they were gonna think we were hot because we work for the Secret Service

So we were gonna tell them we were on their side and they were gonna have sex put our ties in their pussies you ruined everything They were gonna pull us by the tie into one of the janitor's closets and bang us Yeah, so killed one of them in it We all took a blue chew right before January 16 fucking ruined it. He killed the vibe I brought all this fucking gray goose for nothing. I I brought all this fucking gray goose for nothing I bought gray group gray goose in the Lincoln Towncar in the bulletproof Lincoln town I just popped a fucking honey pack 45 minutes ago, and you blew a fucking hole in this lady's head Now what are we gonna fuck the hole?

What are we gonna do now you ruined everything this lady What are we gonna do now? You ruined everything. We can't even fuck this lady anymore. You killed her. You can't even run a train on Ashley Babbitt like we had planned on Telegram. We have to delete our signal accounts now. God damn it. Fuck.

Yeah, that's a... Let's look her up. No, I don't want to. All right, fine. No, that's fine. I looked her up. They closed the investigation into her death sounds about right Ashley Babbit

Wow Killing it. Oh my god. She passed away Dude imagine bleeding out. She was a veteran Yeah Dude, imagine bleeding out. She was a veteran. Yeah, I remember that. You're slipping around in your own piss and blood. The lights are going out. And then there's a guy in a rascal scooter with like, I'm with stupid, just kind of slowly smashing

into the fucking congress doors. And you're just trying your hardest to not die. And your whole life's flashing before your eyes. And to the left of you is a fucking guy 500 pound old car salesman in a Rascal scooter a red white and blue rascal scooter Traveling in a blistering pace towards the Congress fucking doors When he's hitting it and then to your right is an FBI agent And you're like damn. What was all this for and then you just fucking die

I'm looking at a picture of her and her jacked husband and in the picture He's wearing giant basketball shorts and a Bacardi shirt. He's awesome. Yeah, I mean of course Didn't another didn't a cop shoot himself in his in the nuts and die or was that or he got I Don't remember some other like DC cop shooting himself in the dick and then like bleeding out that could have been my own My own dream of what happened that day. It says that was you oh Yeah Do you think blows dick off DC cup blows? Dick on hold on Jan six

Dick on hold on Jen's Testicle tasing maybe it was that's crazy wasn't I would I thought it might have been pornography when I looked it up I looked it up There was no pornography thankfully oh Yeah, Alabama man at Capitol riot died from a heart attack Kevin Greeson dies of a heart attack after tasing himself in... Kevin Greeson? Yeah. Chuck Lard dead at the scene. Hey what's up it's Charles Lard how's it going? I came here to hopefully run over Nancy Pelosi's head with my rascal scooter. I got out feel my force ghost lifting up out of this chair leaving a thick trail of poop

behind. Even in my ethereal form I have shit myself. Yeah I find it bizarre that even as a spiritual warrior, I am still wearing a diaper. I am an additional rascal scooter in heaven. That's always been a question of mine. When you die and you go to heaven, do you die? Do you go to heaven as like, you're like, do you go to heaven like peak like peak can only go to heaven without a body you know you're just in spirit form you're not even shaped like a body up there

okay yeah I guess I'm thinking too much about the paintings yeah that would make sense like you're just sort of like a ball of light or some shit floating around yeah you're not a body anymore when you go there you don't look like shit anymore. You're not still an ugly person in the Yeah, this your house body. You don't even have a face in here anything anymore from what I remember. Yeah. Yeah You're just I was wet hole up there Just a glowing wet fucking orifice Yeah, it's horrible. I remember when we were doing the angels,

did you guys do in Sunday school like a- Makes the stairway kind of pointless. It could just be a big ramp. Yeah. Or an elevator. You don't even need a gate really, you just need- Yeah. Maybe it's not really a stairway at all.

Also the streets don't have to be paved with shit. There's no, you're not walking around, you're just kind of bobbing. Yeah, I'm fucking late to work fuck. I'm late to heaven job I hope probably good. I'll probably get a job in heaven. I would try to Janet or something. I probably clean up shit Like one of those New York guys that gets I probably be on a hazmat crew I fucking clean up people that blow their heads off in their apartments You're like yeah, you're a heaven like bio team I'm gonna work in a motel Front desk like like best Western. Yeah

Try and take care of people's needs best I can I think I would try to like What would you do? Nothing don't worry about it. It's okay. Do your thing No, that's fine. I was thinking about like I Would want to hang out with the archangels cuz those guys are cool Those guys are like the Special Forces or whatever like they're like the podcast guys of heaven Like Michael and Gabriel like I don't want to hang out with a seraphim. What the fuck am I gonna say to him? Wheels within wheels and eyes on fire. I don't know how to talk to that guy. Hey, what's up seraph and he's like

Shit to say to you. I'm going up to Archangel Archangel Michael like hey, dude So like what's your fucking KD like how many how many push-ups can you do he's probably got a huge ass dick You know what I mean six pack and all that he doesn't have a dick does he? When he comes down in human form and like when he was telling Mary was it Michael or Gabriel that came down to Mary I'm like you're about to It came to Mary. Yeah, okay to inform her of the well Michael might have come down to some point I can't remember but Gabriel was the one who I think Was he the one that spoke with Mary or was it the same one who spoke with Mary and the one who spoke with Joseph? Yes, he was April was the one who told Mary about the child

Okay, baby or whatever, but I can't remember if it was Gabriel or Michael who spoke to Joseph But I remember the whenever it was Joseph. It was a whole gang of those guys. Yeah, that's gotta be fucked a bunch of jacked guys with wings Oh, yeah, it was Gabriel a bunch of jacked guys with wings come down and tell you that your 12 year old wife is Gonna fucking give birth to the son of man. I'll be so fucking pissed be mad as shit I Think it's kind of inconsistent when people like give When they say Oh Mohammed was a pedophile you can't cherry-pick

I'm pretty sure Joseph and Mary it was like ten years between them or some shit Mary was like 13 or something Joseph was like Like an adult or whatever the fuck Did you guys learn about Jesus's brother that was one of those non-canonical things that like my church was really into No No, no, because we wanted to go to heaven. Jesus had a brother named James, but he was just like a normal born of fucking guy. James, Jesus' brother. I just googled James Christ, which is like not that isn't what his name was

James Christ, hey, what's up? I'm James Christ James brother of Jesus. Oh they got a bunch of them James the just I Call boss from they call him that cuz he was just his brother. He wasn't Jesus. Yeah James the just his brother It is believe I rather be James the lust He was he was stoned to death by high priest Ananas been Ananas dude if my name was anus I'd be stoned motherfuckers too. The stoned Anas?

Oh hell no. That don't sound too nice, fella. Yeah, if I got stoned to death and my brother was Jesus, I think I'd be. Yeah. All right. He's gonna get a memory Yeah I went out arguably in a worse way. Yeah with no magic No fucking I'm not coming back in three days. Like I'm dead. I dad is a fucking Carpenter whatever. Yeah, my dad is god. My dad's a pedophile carpenter. I'm gonna save anybody but I got to suffer so I didn't do shit either

Yeah Arguably I did less. Yeah, I said rather than anybody up. I don't think maybe he was he was a he was a leader of the Apostolic Church Apostolic Church. Well, then he deserved that cuz he saw what happens. Yeah He saw what happened he died like he died like 30 years after Jesus I remember that The only two debt the two deaths they contribute to him either He was stoned to death or thrown off a watchtower which is hilarious because again it's like dude if I believe my brother was like the greatest wizard of all time like an alien like he was that dude and I'm about to get thrown off a fucking big-ass building I'm gonna be telling the guys throwing me off hey I

don't know if you guys know this but my little brother he's a bad motherfucker he's basically the bad motherfucker. And he's not gonna let you guys just throw me off this fucking tower. And then of course as your body sails downward at terminal velocity, you think to yourself, I don't think he's showing up. I don't think he's gonna come, I don't think he's gonna get me out of this jam. Yeah, that's tough. It's a tough one.

He had other brothers. I remember being told that that's what Catholics and stuff believe. But that's not what I grew up believing. Sometimes I... You know, there's a lot of hoodlums out there, Jake, that will try and drive you away from the truth. And they do that because they want you to go to hell Yeah, for sure. That's okay. If you want to go to hell with them Now I don't want I believe the religion that I am actively running from uh-huh. We don't believe that

and The religion that I actively follow is keeping it real. Yeah keeping it a hundred and Don't respect anybody around you put out negativity Backstab where you can? undermine people Still I work to see you take packages off your neighbor's porch when you can percent. Yeah Go to food banks when you make a hundred grand. Yeah Rob kids 100% yeah. Go to food banks when you make 100 grand. Yup. Rob kids.

Drive, steal cars. You know what I love doing? No, not really. I fucking loved, I love to covet. I don't know if we've been through this before. I fucking love coveting, dude. Like, I remember as a kid when they were like, Don't know if we've been through this before I fucking love coveting dude like I Remember as a kid when they were like don't Do that like it's not don't look at what you mean

Do you know? I for me it's or do you envy I think it's covered. I think I I think I'm more of a coveted or than an envyer I think I don't It's not a grinding Day-to-day chronic, so I don't think it's envy but if I see a guy's got something dope. I want that I Don't envy his life that got him there. I just want that thing. So I think I'm just like a great a coveted Not necessarily a hater. I Think that would be more along the lines of envy, but if I see a dude with like a old Bel-air or like

Like somebody's like hey, we're gonna go out on the boat. I'm coveting the fuck out of that boat You know what? I mean, like I don't want what comes with having a boat But I just want to have the boat and that be it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you shall not desire your neighbor's house his field Or his manservant or his maidservant or his ox or his ass or anything that is your neighbors You cannot desire your neighbors ass. It's... Hahahaha

Oh my god, I've been thinking all night about my neighbors ass. My neighbors donkey. Hahahaha He has the best livestock. I wonder if that was like coveting your neighbors like Corvette, you know what I mean? Like ZR, like back in the day, like you're like, damn, I want my fucking, my neighbor's donkey braes loud as fuck and he's fast as shit and he works hard as hell. I want that motherfucker.

And then, you know, the Holy Spirit comes down and is like, dude, you can't be fucking coveting that ass. You got to think about what you have Yeah, I just looked up why rape wasn't in the Ten Commandments Because I feel like that's kind of a big one yeah, apparently it falls under adultery Interesting like as a little caveat Well, it was just a generally like when the Bible was written it was understood that oh, okay got you like it They were saying adultery

Which don't be an adulterer but also like if you do that it falls under that so we don't have to make an additional Rule for it. I'll keep it in Commandments here. Yeah Also, it's probably a bad look, you know, I mean it's a bad look to have to be like hey don't fucking murder Yeah, but if you you know, I guess for keeping it You know, there's nothing about like betting on You know, there's nothing about sports betting yeah like draft is nothing about yeah, there's nothing about Betting on horses yeah, there's nothing about you know Drunk driving on there. No, I think is dangerous. Yeah

That they don't have it on there cuz I know people were doing that shit a lot in the Bible He's rocking the chariot high as hell dude off some fucking strong-ass wine Swinging and banging in the fucking writ. Yeah, I'm sure I'm on that good. I'm on that good wine and leaves at you I got some prostitutes I can send letters to I Don't know what I do if I had to repent I Wish it I didn't join the Roman army

Well, I'm a pit what's up No, I I just read that Marcus Aurelius wife cheated on him with a gladiator He got fucking like hella cucked by like a fat guy that like fought lions his whole life and like a gruel Which is fucking hilarious to me because he's like the king of like the stoicism stuff People read like his meditations and they like try to get promoted at Oracle or something you know what I mean but he like didn't even really want to be the boss hog and then his wife cheated on him with like a guy who couldn't read probably had like scurvy and shit which

is fucking badass I don't so I don't know if that deal it that it delegitimizes the philosophy necessarily but it definitely if I was like a alpha male type guy. It would definitely make me question dedicating my life to it Yeah, I mean, it's I guess anybody can get cheated on but I Mean he wasn't I don't think he was like hey, I'm the alpha top dog. I think it was just guys it But no, he was like silk guys who sell cars and dog I think it was just guys but no he was like silk guys who sell cars and stuff love to get cheated on you know it's very true yeah tech guy it helps like they he worked through her fucking the equivalent of a soul cycle instructor for that era yeah yeah okay

amateur UFC fighter yeah I'm a German fighter. Like a blue belt in Jiu Jitsu. She probably did that because his name was so hard to spell. Yeah, Gladiators didn't have names back then. They just had nicknames. Yeah. More like, uh, smartest, oh, really good at writing. That's what I probably would have called him and he would have laughed so hard if he heard that. Because he would have spoken English.

Yeah, he would have known exactly what was going on. Did they speak Latin? Yeah, high Latin. Is that what the Romans spoke? Latin? I was going to say, did they speak Roman? But then I thought I thought Thomas are you fucking three years old? Yeah, they were speaking Roman or some shit I guess he was speaking a Latin and Greek everything he was speaking Latina Man I don't even want to be the Emperor But I like I don't even want to do you got to let stuff like

Not affect you and shit, and then you gotta like Damn, my wife be fucking gladiators. I think I need to like meditate or something My name is Marco Rodriguez Making that one work big props big props for making that one work I think I got a right in my diary fool like oh like ah sometimes what a warrior is going through true nobody knows a Warrior be going through a lot of safe Like my day-to-day life like I everybody wants me to be the Emperor But like I'd be having like panic attacks and shit. So I gotta make a book about my suffering and Then like 3,000 year 2,000 years later people are gonna read it and then they're gonna make podcasts about it

My name is demarcus or really is to work is the realest My name is demarcus de realist I Got my book called thanking I wrote this book called thanking it's like when you going through shit it's like it's not really that big of a deal you got to know to like detach yourself from suffering or whatever Mark is my favorite book how to be a Buick How to be a Buick it's a how to be a stoic Oh got you okay oh Turns out this is a not written by it was just has quotes from him Oh, yeah, he did a book called how to be a stoic in English. I

Don't know in Roman you know Stoic and English I don't know in Roman you know Stoic Flourish in ancient Rome the stoics believed that the practice of virtue is enough to change big tennis mmm epic teachers epic titties epic my name is epic I'm a Greek philosopher Yeah My name is Epic Teddy. I'm a Greek Star Philosopher. Oh yeah. My philosophy is Earth. Show me your boobs.

Y'all want to see the good life, let me see a pair of your titties. My name is Cool Fitties. Cool Fitties. My philosophy is the feet are stinky. My philosophy is the feed ease Feed ease my village be to feel stinky Crazy I'm crazy Who gives a fuck about this shit dude, I Don't know I guess like people if you want to get into like Greek philosophy whatever I'm just like emperor darpas derpas connellingus

Emperor Reddittus derpas slain by the assassin derpina. Et tu, Darpina? My reddit gold. It seems I have lost the internet for today. You won the empire, good sir. And I could have been a great emperor too, but I took an arrow to the knee Nice Yes, I think hold on Sometimes I wonder like I don't know I guess it's not important but

I don't know, I guess it's not important, but... Yeah, big data's. I think everything is some sort of psychological operation all the time, and so I wonder how stoicism plays into that. I have no discernment anymore, and I believe that anything that becomes popular in pop culture that has any sort of shift or effect on day-to-day life, be it digital life or real life, as the two are now sort of blended as one, is some sort of like operation And so I'm like what does stoicism have to do with the CIA's endgame?

And then I think to myself you're fucking dumb dude like what like you need to stop reading fucking murder books I've been reading that I had the chicken hawk Chicken hawk toa and it's just making me fun go crazy but that's fine yet he needs to be reading the bowl of the chicken stock yet they can because it's becoming fall falls around the corner in december that's when it starts december january and february that's fall and then March, April and May, that is winter.

Spring starts in June. June, July, August, that's spring. That's spring right there baby, spring awakening. And then we finally got our summer. September, October, and November. Are you gonna go see Wicked? I'm ready for summer to be over. Wicked?

Yeah. Oh, that's the thing with Ariana Grande, right? Yeah. What's that about? Is that a musical? It's the musical about the Wicked Witch of the whatever the fuck. It's like the musical for musical theater kids.

It's got the one song, it's like, popular, you're gonna be popular. Anyway, I only know that shit, cause I used to do musical theater, and they used to sing that shit all the fucking time. And anyway- I think it gets a TikTok sound too. Yeah, it is now, cause the song got leaked.

Or I guess Ariana's version of it or whatever. Nice, that's awesome. No, I'm not gonna see that, cause it sounds like fucking, sounds stupid as fuck. No, I'm not gonna see that cuz it sounds like fucking sounds stupid as fuck I like I don't like musicals and I don't like her Very much What's your beef with grande She's a awful frail nowadays oh you don't like it because of just her shape

when women have anorexia that's gross to me I try and stay away from that nowadays it just kind of creeps me out gives me the heebie-jeebies mmm so if I see a woman is suffering from that online I say Sara Nara Sara Nara Sara Nara Goodbye so Ariana Grande, I'm sorry, but Please get that figured out and also I'm not gonna watch a musical anything. I don't give a fuck about musicals Except I think the only musical I've watched was hi. I watched High School Musical Except I think the only musical I've watched was high school musical and I watched Lemusarab. I was in Greece, not the movie, the musical.

I played a duty. Oh in high school or something? Yeah, it was the local community college did a rendition of Greece and I was one of the main guy's like greaser friends. His name was duty and I had played a guy named duty. Yeah, he was really stupid Mike he was like the dumb greaser like he was the guy didn't know how to do anything and everybody thought was annoying which in hindsight, I think I was cast like like kind of typecast because I I was very annoying and Didn't know how to do anything kind of still am that way I suppose but

I remember Having to like learn how to tap dance Which is a secret kind of half-assed talent that I still sort of possess I can actually only do like two tap dance routines Two more than I can't Yeah do like two tap dance routines. Hey, two more than I can pal. Yeah. That in the bag. Well, I think, I think you need to get back into theater.

I, uh, yeah, I just have a lot of disdain for musicals as a format. Same. Honestly, I just, it just, it's not, it's just bad every time I see it. I, maybe it's more fun live to see stuff, you know? So even so, you know, I had friends that were in theater and stuff growing up and I was in a few theater productions in either my freshman year or high school,

yeah early in high school to get my theater credit out of the way like an arts credit. I did theater so I played Santa and a few other things. Fuck yeah that's awesome man. I'm gonna come. No it was fine. It was fun I liked it but I didn't want to wake up to do one act or whatever. You had to be at school at seven every day? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did, yeah. I wasn't doing that. I'll keep it a buck. I did three musicals in total. I did Grease, I did The Music Man, and then I did Lil Abner. In The Music Man, I played the bad guy, Charlie Cowell. And then in Lil Abner, I played the bad guy Charlie Cowell and then in little Abner I played the bad guy. His name was earthquake Magoon You were telling me you'd play you were the black girl in the Annie reboot. They did on Broadway. Yeah

Yeah, that was I made a lot of money doing that Yeah, that was a good gig It's a hard night life for us. I didn't know that was a musical till a few years ago I thought Jay-Z came up with that hook Really? From standing on the corners bopping some of the hottest tapes New York had ever seen. Uh-huh. Yeah, I thought that was him No, no, no, that's I mean that was him but I thought that it's a hard knock life And I thought damn that guy can write a fucking hook. He got a kid on there

He got a kid to sing her heart out He got a kid on that track be he got a kid on that John He's saying that she's saying the hell out of that shit. She's going places Do you know the do you know the musical artist Clara the girl she makes like Alex G for girls or whatever? kind of stuff? Freddie Gibbs had her sing the hook from crime pays that was really cool It was like a crossover for me like an anime crossover or whatever but the one that's like

How does it go fucking? Look to the sky and you will feel high to live she's saying that and I was like oh that's cool yeah I like that type of shit I didn't know that's awesome I kind of assumed that was a sample or something it is a sample it's like actually I haven't heard any of her songs, but I've heard good things about her. I just try not to support women a whole lot with music because guys have just been walked all over for so long. And finally, you know, there's guys you can listen to on the radio now.

Yeah, it never was. I listen to Bruno Mars. I listened to Frank Sinatra's and Jay-Z. I listened to Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z and then I just, sometimes I'll just mute the girl part. No, I get it. To sing the guy. Yeah.

You're a men going. Or I'll, I like the song Run This Town and I'll just mute all the parts that have Rihanna. Who's gonna, you just turn it off. You just turn the ring off. We are, we are. They just. We are we are it just It's so funny to be like patriotic about living in New York City I get it if you're from here

Yeah, even if you're from here, I feel like it's like shut up You know what I mean? Like imagine if there was a bunch of songs about living in Austin? I think there is but they're just there are is but like But like that is like oh, this is our anthem. I Mean, you know, I mean there's Luke and Bach Texas, which is hilarious Yeah, but that's like a hole in the wall place. You know, yeah. Yeah. No, I get a hole in the wall, but like that You know, yeah But I guess what I'm saying is the World Trade Center or Lucca Bach, Texas, you know what I mean? Yeah

Yeah, there's not really like a I'm trying to think of like an equivalent Texas song Was a home on the range. Is that even about Texas Texas song. Was it Home on the Range? Is that even about Texas or is that just about the range? It's just about the West and China. Oh, OK. It's about a third of the country covering that one. Well, OK.

Never mind, I suppose. There's that song, Texas by Big X, the Plug. Yeah, which I'm from Texas. That song is so stupid guy is so stupid I like some of his songs but he's uh he's like a really dumb guy did you see that video and then he was worried his voice was gonna stay that way no it was really awesome he he he hit the helium balloon and then he was like see I'm the biggest the largest and like he was rapping see I'm the biggest the largest and

Like he was rapping and then at one point he goes is my boys gonna go back It bet I can't be talking like this and then they were like just breathe and then he like breathe and he goes Oh, yeah, we beg But like his eyes kind of opened up real wide and he was like I can't be talking this shit can't last So awesome. I was like damn it. That's that rocks Like I want to live that life I

There was like a time when that Texas song drop I would go to like these local small-time MMA promotionals sometimes if like one of the guys from the gym was fighting and Like everybody was walking out to that song Texas now from Texas The swing is input that and like and and one guy would come out to it and like his opponent would come out to it, too I'm like man. I would if I'm on production. I'm not letting that slide

You're gonna come out to fucking home on the range or something something you're gonna come out to the stars at night or big and bright deep in our Texas it's not gonna sound as hard as that one yeah yeah not gonna be as cool I would have one go out to a song that I made yeah where one goes out to the beat sound from saying the other one goes out to a song as a conscious rap song that I made Okay People all around dying and it's so sad People around dying on my face and it makes me mad

Mm-hmm as the guys going out getting ready to fight. Yeah people getting killed by police and by the cars We're getting killed by the feet and by the hands People getting killed with lights feet and by the hands. People getting killed with lightsabers and with lawn mowers. People getting killed by lasers and by apes. People getting killed by birds and by dinosaurs. People getting killed by the tigers and the tape. People licking tape and getting real sick.

People keep licking up glue and they mouth gets shut keep getting shot by arrows I got people who got shot by the feet in the in the hands the guys going out shadow boxing yeah people around me dropping dead cuz the stomach aches I got people who got killed by their stomachs. I know people got liver explosions. I know people got appendixes getting blown up by body parts. Awesome. My uncle tried to kill me with a laser.

My uncle tried to kill me with the police officer. My uncle tried to kill me with the judicial system. My uncle tried to kill me with his hands and feet. My uncle tried to kill me with carbon monoxide. My uncle tried to kill me with his hands and feet. My uncle tried to kill me with carbon monoxide. My uncle tried to kill me with my old jobs carbon monoxide. My uncle tried to kill me with my mom. I got a crazy ass uncle. I killed the police with microphones.

I killed the police with laser bombs. I killed my family with microphones. I killed this beat with microphones. I killed Chris Benoit with a microphone. I killed Chris Kyle with a microphone. I killed Obama with a microphone. I killed JD Vance with a microphone. Birds dying in the street, what from? It's a microphone. People dying in blankets. What from? It's a microphone people dying in blankets What for is a money bird died he had pancakes for breakfast My neighbor died his wife gave me a pearl necklace unconscious rap

Yeah, I took three Benadryl and I crashed my car. I gave my neighbor the fluid, now he don't think too good. Everybody getting sick in the neighborhood. My whole neighborhood turning yellow like Bart because they got sick from the air. Everybody got jaund does from the microphone my neighbor Spanish his name as best doors my neighbor Italian his name is as bestos I got all kinds of neighbors and they the bestest yeah I gotta get my water and seven my seven minute walkout songs the guy has to keep walking up real slow the whole time.

He just walks around the ring. The other guy just runs out in 15 seconds and my guy keeps walking back to the locker room. Yeah. Chewing on the ropes. Yeah. I love that shit. Big X the plug should make, I'll like him if he makes that song for every state Bitch, I'm from Alabama from Oklahoma where we'd be riding swingers and got diamonds in our coma in our boners and our boner

boner Is uh Who's oh got a boner? I? Got a boner That beat drop yeah, yeah. I got a boner. I got a boner. That beat drop. Yeah, yeah. I got a boner. It's really big. I'm stroking it. I'm jacking off my boner and when you see me jacking off on the bus, it's my boner. Put lotion in a condom on my dick because it's a boner My boner slowed it down for me at seven How old were you when you had your first boner do you remember I

Could not tell you I don't think I was really Paying super close attention. I think mine was eight. Eight, definitely older than that. I think it was like eight. I think I was- Definitely was older than eight for me. That's about right. I don't know what they had in the water down there.

Oh, I don't think it was anything anything in the water I think I think that's much of fucking sexy ass shit happening at your house Oh shit, she gave me a boner Oh shit, she gave me a boner Like a therapist to like a clearly traumatized I think something happened to me. I'm my first boner when I was a that's probably a bunch of sexy ass shit happening at that house playboy People know how to get down You had a crazy ass life boy. Oh my god boy She is fuck

Yeah, no, I didn't know I think it was if I remember correctly we had um We had just gotten dish. It was like Me and my mom were living like me and my mom were living at some apartment and then as part of like the promotion or whatever you got like free dish for like a couple months I think and let me tell you my mom would go like travel a lot for work and I would sit and watch hell yeah I would stay up to watch like American Pie and Like you know you remember those movies like the late 90s 2000s. They don't make him anymore

It was just about a guy who had to like fake to be a girl so we could get into college or something and Like 50% of the movie is just terror eats titties and ass That was kind of that was my thing where I would like watch those movies I didn't even know what jacking off was but you know you're like oh that was that's my penis I think I'm pretty sure that that's what that is Yeah, yeah nice. Yeah nice sexy as Town so then you uh

You started calling everybody else mom until she got back. Yeah, the neighbors and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, calling the mailman mommy Thanks mommy for the mail I would just hang out at people's houses when my parents were gone and Then I was the kid where the the other ladies the other kids parents would be like So what's when you um, you're gonna go home and I'd be like, I don't know I you gonna go home?" And I'd be like, I don't know. I don't know. I think my dad is, he's got adventures. And I think my mom has to work at Sonic. They'll be like, oh, I've been over there like two days with my friend, but like, he's my friend. He doesn't pay bills there, you know? I was just there like, dude, if one of my friends had like a gaming system I would never leave

I would just hang out at their house for like four days until their parents was like you haven't showered and I think you need I think you have parents and I would just go back home it was cool being a latchkey kid it was enjoyable I think if I have a son I'm gonna raise sounds like it sucks ass Like it sounds like you had a goofy ass upbringing Yeah If I have a son, I think I'm gonna raise him in like a cube. I think I'm like I think too much shit went wrong for me and Now I'm really paranoid what just like a lot of just a lot of silly like badass stuff

you know what I mean, just like a lot of badass like sexy stuff and Yeah, wait, what happened? Like I remember I remember most of it for sure and and so I Think I would be like a paranoid helicopter parent. So I think I'm just gonna raise them in like like a Like a box or something that'll probably make him good. Nothing bad will happen to him

And he can live in the cube cube son Yeah, I probably I probably Raise him in a military family. I know that's not something I can provide, so it's something I would. Just sell him. I would be willing to give up my kid to a military family

in order for him to be really weird. Yeah. Like I was growing up. I would have my son join the naval reserves at the age of 10. Yeah. And they would teach him how to run laps and do jumping jacks. He'd come home and I'd be dressed up like a girl version of Bugs Bunny. I'd have an apron on,

Bugs Bunny ears, red lipstick. And I'd say, hi honey, how was the Navy? I'd gave him a glass of lemonade, give him a kiss, send him back to his bunny bed. OK, I'm like a regular bed, but it's got a big ball of cotton at the end, like a bunny. OK. I do think I would raise my children in a rabbit lifestyle. Yeah. You know, like rabbits, rabbits and cartoons. Yeah, yeah, of course. And they're all wearing sweaters and drinking tea mm-hmm eating scones yeah that's really my ideal life I think I'd like to be kind of like Max and Ruby situation hobbit sort of

situation yeah I could buy that yeah I think hobbits really it's funny looking back on Lord of the Rings hobbits just had the best lives out of anybody for sure. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. There was English people without bad teeth. Yeah, dope ass houses and stuff. They lived like in the Shire. Yeah, they were super short, still got pussy.

Pretty much dream situation. Big ass feet. Yeah. I never really, like, I was never super into Lord of the Rings I don't know why it was like never really something that caught my eye the movies were really long and I was a I was like when I was a really little kid I was like more into Harry Potter and We thought it was Sorcery sweet and watch any of that. Yeah

Older yeah, some of my family did too and the church was really really weird about it and Which made it all the more interesting to me and For a little while I don't know if this makes sense to you or maybe I was just a stupid kid with an active imagination for a little while I thought just as much as like Castles were a part of history like real history. I thought at some point there was wizards like Merlin and stuff like I was really into like

Is my dad was like an Aleister Crowley? He's like was really obsessed with like the occult and stuff. It was one of his many quirks. And so he would always talk about that shit. And I thought that just as much as knights, you know what I mean? Knights are in fantasy movies and horseback. I thought also at some point there was wizards, but we just lost that to time. And it really wasn't until I was like,

maybe like in fifth or sixth grade, where I had like an epiphany randomly one day where I was like, I don't think wizards were real. I think maybe I've just like invented that as like a fake thing that was nice to believe in. You know what I mean? It happens. Like dragons and stuff.

We all have stuff like that, yeah. I always thought gargoyles were cool. It turns out gargoyles weren't even really fictionally real Till recently they were just cool statues. They built to They're like gutters basically. Mm-hmm Are you saying they're not like folklore or like No, not really. They're not I mean they were just art. Oh Okay, gotcha like stories about if I recall correctly stories about gargoyles being real or like started in like the 18th in the 19th century

Oh gotcha. Okay, just like like oh, what if this was a I mean maybe as like a talisman type thing you know where it's like, oh, maybe this wards off evil or something, but there was never like There that people were never like oh this comes alive at night needs Okay, I see what you mean. Yeah, that makes sense Or like idea of like a gargoyle like coming to life and like fucking you with its great dick is always like pretty scary Kids you think about that a lot. Yeah, it's a concern. Yeah as a kid you are kind of scared I remember as a kid. I was very preoccupied with becoming large enough that if Gollum Strangled me I would be able to kill him like fist fight him and win

Yeah, that's okay. He seems so strong for his size. Oh Okay, I wondered if he would be able to kill me even as an adult. Mmm Interesting. I think now I think now I would have the Thing now he could kill me in my sleep probably but he's pretty like agile, isn't he? Like that's his whole thing He's been in the cave doing yeah. Yeah, I mean at this point. I'm just mostly out in broad daylight You know, I see what you mean mean I also live in New York City, so I don't think that type of creature would be here, right? Yeah, I think I'll probably just be stabbed by a lady who hadn't had water in a few days. Mm-hmm Yeah, be more likely here uh

San marcus is like a people who train hop will stop here Cuz amtrak runs through here, and then so does like all the freight It like goes up to the state and if you can ride it to Chicago if you want And then to all over the country and so you'll be downtown like on the square area and There'll be cross punks out there with like the most malnourished dog you've ever seen in your life And they'll have like a guitar with one string on it and they'll be playing like fucking I don't know Like Woody Guthrie or some shit and I'll have like a guitar with one string on it, and they'll be playing like fucking I don't know like Woody Guthrie or some shit, and I'll have their like case out and it'll be like a bunch of it'll be like a couple and then like a couple of their friends and

I remember bullshitting with one of them, and I had one of those moments where it's like There are people like this in New York for sure where you're like. Oh, this is one of those like lifer Punk guys this is guys like in his 40s and then like like I was born in 2002 and you're like oh yeah you've just been like doing Fint and riding a train and listening to fucking acid bath your whole life so I guess that that'll that'll age you pretty quick but I always thought that lifestyle was cool and for a little while when I was really young like a teenager I really wanted to be like a crust punk But I was too scared to ride the train And I didn't have any trains by where I lived so I mostly just hung out in ditches. That's probably like my thing

Yeah, the only crust I'm a punk about us that pizza crust. I love it Don't get don't make me get punky about my fucking crusty yeah don't make me did don't make me oh fuck what you got going on this weekend big pimping this weekend oh nothing too crazy might try and do a mic or something haven't done done standup in a few weeks and that doesn't feel too good, but it's all right. It's been kind of busy. I feel you.

But got some spots planned out. Nice. That I should be, next week I'll announce some new spots. What about you? I might do standup tomorrow. I don't know. I'm trying to work on my hour I'm not trying to do a special or anything. I just kind of want to like maybe like I

Met this this guy shut up Matt bandwagon who just like goes on the road a lot and just like does an hour and Like lives in his car. He doesn't live in his car here. He like travels around and I was like that sounds kind of fun But now this weekend I'm gonna try to replace the bumper in the van I Bought a breaker bar I've been trying to get like a bunch of 34 year old rusted bolts off the fucking frame and I've been smashing my hands and getting probably getting like tetanus who gives a shit But not much man, I've been trying to chill out I've been drinking a lot

So I've made a pact that I'm gonna try to not drink for like a few months It happens where like I'll be really good for a while and then I Don't know. It's not even like a mental health thing. It's like Sometimes I just want to be like drunk all the time. You know what I mean? I don't think I don't think it's like a depression thing I think it's just like I get really tired of fun. Yeah, I get really tired of being healthy You know what I mean? I don't know if that makes sense, but I get yeah, I get tired of like going seems like a chore Yeah, yes. Yeah, like the gym isn't fun. I don't really like boxing like

And that'll last for a little while like three or four months where like I derive no joy from like anything and so I'll just drink beer all day and and then like right and go to open mics and stuff then I'll gain like a bunch of way yeah I feel bad and shit but it just happens, you know seasons of life. Yeah Well, it's a good thing they don't have a name for that Good good thing that's not a well studied disease of the mind called bipolar to If only they had a medicine that made you completely numb and made your dick turn into a piece of chalk

That would make you feel a lot better about yourself, yeah, dude Did you you were on if you didn't drink enough water? Yeah, you're on lithium. Yeah, I was on lithium Fuck me up. So I was taking creatine Hydrochloride at the same time my fucking kidneys were destroyed yeah yeah yeah but uh yeah for a while it was like wasn't sure where i was same yeah yeah yeah kind of not not great for you um if if unless you're like honestly unless you're like thinking about killing people or whatever or killing yourself i guess I would say lithium for most people Actually, I can't say for most people just for myself Yeah

No, I was the same so it's bad to say for most people for me lithium immediately at the lowest dose fucked me up Yeah, same, but they care like within a couple weeks. I just felt like I felt so fucking bad They kept me on it for a while even though like I had by had the similar reaction We're like even before it hit the therapeutic dose you have to like taper up. You know I Was like I was like getting messages in the TV and stuff I was just like completely losing my mind now I was also like drinking like three mad dogs a day and like doing cocaine and stuff And it's probably not good to mix that stuff with lithium lithium But I don't know the jury's still out on that

But uh, yeah, who knows know the lithium but they were giving me Sarah quill too. It's like a classic bipolar stack apparently it was like lithium and Sarah quill and Dude Sarah quill made me gain like 60 pounds in like four months is fucking insane dude. Yeah, it was how'd you feel feel pretty good, dude Dude, honestly, no No, I didn't feel all that awesome at all my hair was falling out and my penis was a piece of chalk as you said and I was like 260 something pounds and And when you live with a bunch of guy fighting weight right there, oh, yeah, I was a heavy weight

And when you live with a bunch of guy fighting weight right there. Oh, yeah, I was a heavy weight 65 super heavy weight. Yeah, Francis and gone you could have taken on. Yeah, you could take it on John Jones Fight him and could have fought him and steep a that have been dope Yeah, that shit was straight but I was living with all my friends at the time and I talked about on here like ad nauseam but uh At that like I gained it all that weight really quickly and when you live with a bunch of your best friends like from college or whatever Like they'll be like dude. You got fat as fuck like super fast. What's up? not like in not like in a helpful way, you know, just like I remember my buddy Jay. Shout out Jay was like

Dude, how'd you get so fat being a cokehead? This was one of the most mind boggling philosophical questions that had actually helped me try to quit doing blow. That question right there was like a shift in my life. It was like, how did you get so fat? You do cocaine all day, aren't cokeheads supposed to be skinny and hot? And I was like, you hurt like, how did you get so fat? You do cocaine all day. All right, cocaine's supposed to be like skinny, you're like hot. And I was like, you hurt my feelings

in like 18 different ways just now. Like how the fuck did you give like a double insult? Like how did that work? I guess we should shut this one out. If you're listening to this, head on over to patreon.com slash pendejo time and toss us a little bit of cheese Irene I know the holidays are around the corner

Money's a little tight, but if you got a dollar you can hang out in our discord Lot of a lot of laughs in there a lot of great guys have met genuinely some good friends through there And some in any did him ease some enemies. Yeah people I fucking hate I can't know I'm just kidding That's some in did him ease some enemies. Yeah people I fucking hate I can't know I'm just kidding Five bucks a month gets you access to the discorded on a whole backlog of bonus episodes as well as a bonus episode every week Ten bucks a month gets you access to all that plus a backlog of premium video episodes and a video episode every month We're gonna try to get some more of that for you guys

Check out the free video episodes at YouTube Padejo Time Worldwide. We have a great sketch up there and then we also have backlog of video episodes. My stand-up set's over there. Go check that out. Feedback on that was much better than I thought so thank you guys for watching and commenting and liking it Fucking what else? Oh, yeah If you're in Texas, I'll be at Lucy's Comedy Club The day after Thanksgiving, so I know you guys are gonna rush back from being with your families to watch me do New 15 minutes, which I haven't done before so, you know, it's gonna be good

and then December 12th. I'll be at East Austin Comedy Club doing probably the same 15 minutes unless it bombs and then I'll just do a different one. Hell yeah well best of luck with the new 15 minutes that's a lot of time to debut once and you know for a lot of people that go horribly, but I know for you it's gonna go really well Every time I do a new huge batch of material I definitely don't just get one minute into it bomb with one joke and then switch back to a different set and Never even use the rest of the new material that I wrote because I think when I wrote that and the one joke didn't work That meant the rest of it wouldn't work. And so now I should throw think when I wrote that and the one joke didn't work that meant the rest of It wouldn't work. And so now I should throw it all I do that all the time, dude

I do that. I was just talking to another comedian about like He was giving me feedback on like my set and it was I asked about it he's a funny guy like him or whatever and He was like, did you slip up at some point there? And I was like, yeah One new joke didn't land. So I just went back to my old 20 minutes. He was like, you can't be doing that. And I was like, it makes me uncomfortable up there and I wanna kill myself.

Have you considered that at all? And he's like, yeah, I've been doing this 20 years. Yeah, and I was like, I don't wanna feel that pain. I wanna win all the time, you know what I mean? I want to covet you know Cut that shit come all right. Thank you guys. Thanks. Have a good one. Bye. Bye piss. Bye. Bye pussy