Pendejo Time - Kirkin' 9 to 5 (FT. Aaron of Trillbilly Worker's Party AKA @afrocosmist)

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

left behind a wife and children kirkin' 9 to 5 one day before they blew the buildings Sub to the show patreon.com/pendejotime See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Start to show with a solemn moment of silence for our fallen brother. It is the Kirkroversary. And the guy's neck blowing out, okay. Yeah, yeah. So, Kirk in 9 to 5. What a way to make a living. And now he is Kirk in 9 to 5 left behind a wife and children. That is all.

Oh, no, for serious, we're going to be quiet. We're going to worry. All right. That's it. That's all he gets. Everybody welcome to Padeo time. I want to introduce our buddy Aaron from Trill Billies. How's it going?

My brother. Hell yeah. Thank you for joining us. Oh, man. Thank you for having you on, dude. Yeah, of course. This is going to be a good one. Yeah, we, uh, it is funny that I guess technically Friday is 9-11.

Yeah, yeah. We're like, this is an important week. The week of Kirkiversary. We get a two-for, brother. We're fortunate. Yeah. It's a 20. I was listening to Morning Radio today here in New York City.

If you guys are familiar. And the hosts, I got to say, we're being so annoying about it. Yeah. They're like, and I remember where I was. I was at school. Everybody was. Yeah, everybody. Everybody was at school.

You were at school and not bored. Yeah. I remember what I was doing. I was being a baby. Yeah, yeah. How is I go, nigga? I don't know. You weren't at school on purpose on that.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather have been at the park when you found out. Right, right. I have people my age talk about it. They're like, like, you can only talk about it with that kind of gravitas. I feel like if you were in New York, but I, like, people that were my age, early 30s, late 20s. It's like, I remember where I was. And it's like, yeah, we were doing our times tables.

We were reading hatchet. I was in music class. Yeah. Bro, so I went to, I went to, God, what was it called, man? I went to, I guess, PS2 30. man, which was Philippa Schuyler. It was like a quote, specialized, like, junior high school in Brooklyn, man. You had to take a test to enter that shit.

So I just remember I was in class, a music class with this teacher who, I swear, hated all the kids, man. Like, this is the most miserable teacher who taught an elective you could imagine. And, bro, I think she was just, like, like, either had us all, like, in a collective timeout, you know, because we were all just like, I mean, I mean, throwing spitballs, paper planes type of shit. Yeah. And we just happened to look out the window when the announcement became one of the speakers. And because of where I was in Brooklyn, you could look out at the Manhattan skyline. And it looked like Mordor, you know?

It was just like, it was just black smoke. You know what I mean? And as a kid, man, I was just like, oh, shit. Like, you know, you don't have as a kid like that, man, like something as, you know, as, impactful as that you just have no frame of reference or even like understanding of what it was right i just remember the next day no we got we actually wouldn't have school the next day so it was like two days later like um i was in another class which was which was like i think it was like what spanish or like i don't even remember dog it was some other bullshit class man yeah spanish just a bunch of bullshit like that just

Just to think I was made up fucking. I took eight years of Spanish between junior high school and high school and I don't speak a lick of Spanish. There you go, yeah. But, bro, they was like, yo, they just made us draw, you know? Like, we were just like, it was so traumatizing for us. Right, right. Just draw whatever you happen to be thinking about right now. Bro, you know what I drew, bro?

I drew, I drew a skyline with a plane in the sky. And the teacher came over and looked at my shoulder. Oh, you can't do that. She's like, you can't do that. I was like, how, dude, it happened, you know.

Right. How do you not? Like, how do you draw whatever comes? Right, guys, which one of you kids did this? Which one of you kids is the son of Bahab and Atah? Yeah. I show a movie in class one time and this happens.

Thomas, can you come up a little bit just a touch? Yeah, like, I fucking, I remember my mom like, pulls me, I've told this story so many times of the shit,

but like, we were in Texas. And my mom, like, she was probably 22 or 23. I was seven. So she like, yeah, she's 23. So she like pulls me out of school. She was like working at Sonic. She's like a roller skating girl.

And she like comes to fucking school with her holding her roller skates. She's like, we got to go. I got to go now. throws me in her Saturn. She rolled to school. Yeah, yeah. And we high tail it out of there. And she's like, like everybody in my family, we live.

in like podunk south houston and they were like we don't know who they're gonna target next they might they they they they're they they're saying houston or atlanta yeah and i and i and i remember thinking like even at seven i was like i was like i didn't know what you don't know what a terrorist tech i know new york's important i was like pasadena tex is not important like am i i i know what i mean like it's like if like my like they're gonna hit tex arcana you know what i mean like they're gonna fuck it like i knew in my mind that we were safe and then And then, like, later, even as I got older, like, we would argue, like, I was in high school or college. I was like, mom, they weren't going to, she was like, you know how much oil we produce?

They would have hit it. And it's like, if they were, no, like, they weren't, what are you going to blow up our oil refineries? Like, they're not. I mean, that's why I think they did 9-11. I mean, if you believe. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, man. I don't know, man, especially as a kid, it was just like, you know, I mean, this is the thing, too, I think is unique to America and our generation. perhaps is that like something as terrible as it was that day 3,000 people died, you know, within a couple hours. Allegedly. Allegedly. I mean, now we make jokes about it.

I mean, America's an incredibly unique country and I'll say this, this country should absolutely fucking die, but the fact that we can joke a joke about it like 30 years later, I got to appreciate that, man. Well, yeah. But they should be not. nicer up here because we don't really joke about the Oklahoma City bombing.

Yeah. I mean, we don't. I straight up forgot that happened at all. And then I went to a wedding in Oklahoma City last year and this whole city is bombing themed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they have, yeah. When I was you bobbing the, they got a bobbing a cake?

Like, what you're talking about? Yeah, the whole downtown is mural. Hey, remember. this? Yeah. My band was on tour there and it was like, they were like that plaques that was like, so many people lost their lives and I was like, wait, when? And then I was like, oh, fuck, an aberration in the heartland of the real, like Timothy

McVeigh and an unknown accomplice who was never identified, uh, fucking, you know, blew up the Murrah building or whatever. Dude, I don't know how much you know about that case, Aaron, but, um, the guy that there was a security guard that, uh, uh, his name's Terrence Yeager. And I'm not trying to get into all the big all the shit Not Terrence Ray my co- Not Terrence Ray Tensiakey is a as a security guard That's the only person we have ruled out

We know he's not Terrence Ray It could be it could be Tom I don't know where Tom was at on the day But uh Terrence Yakey was he was I think a cop on duty security guard dude I forget him anyway He um like after the bombing

He helps get people out And after the bombing like goes home to his wife and he's like they're lying on the news dude like there was another there was somebody else in the fucking you hall like they were directing people like towards more areas of danger like this he didn't even let it marinate no he's his conspiracy no he was like he told his wife we saw and he was like i'm going to do the right thing and i'm going to go to the FBI with this Aaron, within two weeks, this guy killed himself. Here's how he kills himself.

Get this. He had something like 15 stab wounds all over his body. He had slit both of his wrists, cut his neck open, climbed over a barbed wire fence, laid against a tree, and then tried to shoot himself. Like he, like it looked like Funky Town was done to his ass. And the fucking, that was, that was pretty much like the FBI, be it like, it was like they had. had like a they had like a mood board basically yeah yeah yeah too many cooks in the kitchen yeah they're like how we're gonna get them boys we're gonna get him with the gold the old the old slit of the wrist are we're gonna do it with a no it's no no no no no we should open the gate at least right now

leave the close yeah yeah i they well he's a you know he's a black fellow so i don't want to we got to make it look we don't want to do anything too crazy it's and uh and so that yeah and so people were like immediately the nature like the violence he's like i'm not liking the whole tree involved at all. I think we should simplify this. The one woke FBI guy in the 90s? Just shoot shoot him. He was proto woke. He was the pro-o-woke. He was the

woke didn't exist. He's like, I don't like this. Dude, I was just talking about, I'm like derailing the conversation, but I was just talking about how like do you remember we all been on the computer for too long? Do you remember when woke belonged to the HOTEPs? That was their word. Yes. Yes. Woke belonged to guys that were like

you need to alkalize your water. Like black women need to be put in flower petals and they pussy. Dog, it belonged to the biggest who, so when I, when I, um, a couple years ago, man, I was dating this, uh, this white girl. Well, a couple years ago, I could say a couple days ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was dating his white kid dog.

I was in, yeah. Yeah, my brother. Yo, knock, no dog. Yeah, I walk past the, and they believe that like the black Israelites is who I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, um, they believe that. And people, I mean, fuck you, if you listen to you get mad and be using the word Hotechette with black Israelites.

They, to me, they hold taps, you know what I'm saying? They are in the black community. That shit is not normal, you know what I mean? No, no, no, no. These are the kooky niggins that you avoid at all costs. You cross the street. If you cross street for any black person, you cross street for these niggas, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

I was walking my white girlfriend, and they was yelling at us. They was like, oh, you fuck a white woman. That's like, as a black man, that's like fucking a goat. And I'm just egg in a bar because I thought it was funny. as shit. Yeah. My girlfriend was like, y'all, no, we can't talk to them.

Dude. We can't speak to them. I was like, bro, I told Thomas the same thing. I watched the same thing. I was outside this club called the Valdarum in Austin and they set up behind, behind, or in front of the club is an empty parking lot where a bar used to be. And they set their stage up and they're wearing their, they all dressed like Thanos.

They've got this like purple armor on and they've got like gold crowns. And they've got like their Bible or whatever. And this big old, this big old bowl. black dude and he's got like dude she's like like 10 out of 10 snow bunny like she got the juicy couture on like whatever and uh paug yeah yeah and the fucking and dude the the the preacher guy is preaching about like the filth that goes on six tree where all the drinking is and he's like there ain't nothing out here but degeneracy they ain't nothing out here and then he stops his fucking sermon and he points at this guy this dude's big bald motherfucker and he goes oh look at this

out here walking his dog out here walking his dog and she's like feisty so she's like excuse me and he goes oh dog you know how to speak he teach his dog to talk and like the big ball black dude is like he's a unc so he had like a huge

Louis Vuitton cell phone case and like like a Louis Ta's cell phone case where his cell phone fits in like the fourth quarter of the bottom quarter of that yeah yeah yeah yeah It's like, yeah, he was, and he was like, you, I could, I said, I lit a cigarette. I was like, I don't got up for another 20 minutes.

So I'm going to see what happens. This dude, like, his girlfriend is like yelling, but he's trying to level with him on some wise, unk. He's like, listen to me, brother. Hey, brother. These things are going through, they go through, they go through telepathy, they're not even, at this point, they're just staring at each other like Professor X. Yeah, yeah.

It was like, like, with the rings emanating from his head. Yeah, the old black guy was like, like bringing, he was like, I remember Malcolm X and they were like, you don't remember shit. Because also like the hotel dudes were young. They were like maybe like, I don't know, like early 20s. They were young kids and they and they had like one older guy with him. But he was so fat he had to sit down on a lawn chair on the stage. And I guess he was like. He had to take breath while he was doing to love at the ocean.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah. And they were talking about like before that whole thing happened. They were, I've seen them. They come out like once a month and they do sometimes talk about their powers, which is like, like, I'm, like, I'm very familiar with the weird, um, intermechanations of the Ku Klux Klan because I have distant family that they never confirmed nor denied, but I'm pretty sure remembers. And so I, the intermachinations of their belief system and stuff and like, you know, whatever. But they don't, they have like grand dragons and imperial wizards, but it's like a weird, they get in a weird like, um, like, uh, world. of Warcraft type shit.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. It almost feels like cosplaying. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, yes, it's very weird, you know, especially as a sci-fi fantasy guy. I'm kind of like, wait, hold up. I can't get into that because, like, I'm black. Yeah. But also, too.

Like, you know what I mean? Well, I think, like, I've always said that schizzo is the one thing, like, when all the world building that some of these, like, right-wing guy, schizo guys, I'm like, you should just write books. Like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

of this lore and of these places and connections like Philip K. Dick, the only thing that was different between like Philip K. Dick and an insane guy on the street smoking fint was like a little bit of discipline, you know what I mean, just like a little bit. Literally. Yo, dude, this is the thing about, like, so sci-fi, I'm a sci-fi guy, man, but, and you always see that, whether it's like Star Trek or even like fantasy, like, um, uh, token and Lord of the rings. You see these alien races like the orcs, man, or whether you have like, you know, something like the Vulcans, right? Or rather the Romulans from Star Trek. All these alien races or mythical beings are standings for other people, you know? Sure. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you read Tolkien,

you'll be like, dog, he could be talking about a Polish guy. Yeah, yeah. But he's talking about an orc, you know what I mean? Yeah. This is incredibly racist. But to me, as a guy who likes lore, sometimes I have to be a little bit careful because I'll be leaning into this you know what I'm saying? I'm like oh shit dude hell yeah describe the orks nigger they fucking niggas up and I'm like oh shit you talk about me you're talking about me

yeah they're like and the the king orc held his mace sideways the king orc yeah yeah the uricard paid even more for cards chants

commandeered the lily white elf yeah yeah yeah what do you say Yeah, the orc king pulled up in a fucking caprice. His ribs. Yeah, yeah, you're like, wait a minute, 13 inches. The king of orc hung up on his FaceTime call and drew his bow. So the York went on his porch, drinking the St. Ives, you know. And smoking to black and ma' jazz wood tip.

I remember, like, after like my seven, this is going to, I'm, I'm showing my own internalized racism here. But after my seventh play-through of Skyrim, I was like, all right, I'm going to be a red guy. guard and you literally like your first time your first thing you do is you go to white run and like is a red guard like you go into the gate they go you go through the gates and everybody's like no you got to you can't you got to get up out of here brother i was like wait what and then like if you play as like the one of the lizards they're like uh reptile and it's like it's like okay the the red guards they're not even an ork they're just black guys and then the the worst is when you're playing as one of the nords or something and you're

leaving White Run and there's a group of Red Guards coming in and they're not letting them in and there's nothing you can say Yes, yeah, there's nothing. The guards would be like They seem They seem nice, man. Let them in the club, brother, they're not. They don't got it. You never chipped at the tavern.

What if you like a ballad? What if you like a ballad? Like, what if you're lighter skid? Do they still like, like, not let you wet? Yeah, I don't know. They don't have the brown paper bag bag test, you know? Well, also like I thought it was funny that if like I remember in Skyrim the first Red Guard you meet everybody else is like welcome to the Yars kingdom or whatever it's like very Scandinavian is or whatever it's very like it's an accent you can't place because it's fantasy and then the first Red Guard you meet is like they ain't letting me in here they're not they're not they say I can't come inside the building and you're like hold on a goddamn second like are they are the Khajit supposed to be Asian or something yeah they're in Middle Eastern so the art Why are they all addicted to crack? Is that like, what is it?

Scuma. They're addicted to scuba. You're like, oh, there's cat people. And they just come up. I want to, there's a drug now and I want to buy it or sell. Well, so like, I was like putting two and two together. And I got you got the Britons that are just like Anglo-Saxons. They're all right.

And they're good at talking. And you got the nords who can just, ah! And like, everybody shuts the fuck up. And then you've got the Argonians, which are lizard people and they love coins. And I was like, all right, we don't got to get into that. like enough's enough I know exactly where this is going brother I played a Cajit play through and it is

true it's like every you meet one of your own like cat people and they're like scum of her I know you I know you're itching like and it's like you have this specifically Sephardic people as well yeah yeah yeah it's very it's like we're all they're all five six and they go bald early but they're

seriously good at finding more treasure than other people like it's like it's like it's Star Trek bro there's the Ferengi which the Ferengi, they are a hyper-capulous race. And like, when you watch the show, when I watched the show, you know, I didn't see these, I mean, I don't know, man, it's not even microaggressions because actors have said who played Ferengis, who are Jewish actors, actually, most of the actors who played Ferengis, I mean, these guys, I don't know how to describe, man, they got weird big noses, they got big ears. Yeah. And again, they're very fond of money.

But when I watched the show, I was like, oh, dude, like, I just like these characters. You know like you see them first than the next generation But over time though I was just like scratching my chin while I was watching it I was like huh This is very Jewish coded this is kind of weird you know what I mean This is a standing for certain people but yeah again the actors have said you know oh this is this is for anyone who's been ostracized in any country like people I mean the cast has gone and the crew have gone around the world doing tours and people always say like, oh, these are like, you know, the outcast people or the minority in our country, not specifically Jewish, but I mean, to me, I'm like, yo, that's a little bit. It's like,

it's like in Harry Potter, how the goblins are, yeah, obviously Jewish coded, you know. Yeah, yeah, they got shirt. With Star Trek, at least you have so many stupid kinds of aliens going on that you kind of forget, like, you get lost. Like, yeah, exactly. It's like, these are, they'll have, like, they'll have like toddlers with a fake eyebrows and it's like, and this is an alien too. And it's Like, no, that's a little white baby. You didn't have a costume this week. You just put eyebrows on this baby. Who did a good set to do this?

No. A little white baby. They're not good child actors. They look confused. They don't know why they're there. Actually, I will say the episode you're talking about, Thomas, that episode, that little white baby does do a great job. Because obviously, his voice is dubbed over by, like, you know, an older white man who will eventually turn into that white baby will turn into. That white baby will turn into.

the voice actor clearly you can see that but like you know he was annoying child actor he was alright for a little white baby you know yeah I haven't seen I hate a little white baby the episode I'm talking about I think I saw it like 17 years ago so give me a little grace with that one but no yeah there was

it's or like the Star Wars canteen scene where they just clearly had some costumes lying around it's like and there's a race of guys who look exactly like the devil yeah yeah yeah yeah they put like a little black they put like a little black War from that costume?

Yeah, yeah. I was, I don't, I've never really been into the Star Wars, but I caught the, like, the big battle between, it's in one of the newer shows, but it's between, you, like, Owen McGregor's older character and Darth Vader, like. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the old Canobi show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And during the big fight scene, like, Hayden Christensen, like, they get their mask, and it's, like, half Anakin and half Darth Vader's voice. And I thought it was kind of funny that, like, that his, like, you know, like, Anakin's. God, and then they bring back What was the old black dude that did the OG?

What was his name? Um, um, fucking God. The guy that boys, Darth Vader. I saw him on a fucking Arizona. James Earl Jones. Nah, James. It's James Earl Jones. Okay.

Not the guy who played, um. Not Samuel, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he played Misses Wind, but,

uh, anyway, there's a point, there's a point where it's like, you didn't kill, and I could, Scott, it does black voice for a second,

and it's like, And it's Anakin like, and I wonder like when they were editing of Hayden Christian was like, you got to, you can't dub over me with the OG. Like I'm white behind the, like, you didn't kill Anakin. Let me ask you a question. Can you do is it possible? Okay, so we have blackface, the OG. We have digital blackface, you know, people posing as black people online with avatars. But can you do like voice blackface?

Is that a thing? Black guy voice? I've been doing that all the time. Yeah, black guy voice. I mean, yeah, to be fair, it was really good. Yeah, Jake has been doing that for a long time. I've been doing that a long time.

I've been telling me you, you can't do. You can't do it. Oh, brother, brother, I'll be telling you right now. So, dude, the last movie that you could do, yo, bro, I'll give you the past. I was like, that now, the last, the last, the last movie, yo, that was probably not even okay for black face. I'm just saying that niggas don't even remember this shit was Tropic Thunder.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Robert Downey Jr. played such a good black guy that I forgot there was an actual black guy in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget the actor's name.

I don't even know his name. I don't even know. It doesn't matter. We were just talking because we rewatched this kind of recently. And that actor used to be, my girlfriend brought this up, that actor used to be in like every role

that goes to Kevin Hart now. Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. He was like the funny sidekick. We go to jail and I'm white. like a token like a token black comic relief character and then Kevin Hart has talks with the exact same like he has a little like jingle thing he does you know what I mean but but he's like you know became the biggest stand-up in the world so that he's a way better filling that's that they must suck to lose your job to like another like niggin doing like minstrel you know I mean that must really

Have you seen the video of Robert Downey Jr. In character in blackface doing Terriology? You know Terrence Howard's math that he invented terriology? Do you know about this? Yes. I've heard of go. Terrence Howard's a weird dude. He's weird and he's a wife beater and he's weird.

But anyway, there's a DVD commentary, B-roll of a... It looks like a snuff film, bro. But I've talked about this on before, but Robert Downey Jr. has one of the key grips in a bathtub. And he's doing math, like weird math. Hotep math on this kid's back His white kid's back And he's got a cabby hat on And he's got the goatee

And he's like Now we're going to talk about numbers And geometry So I'm gonna draw a little triangle And his white boys back one moment And he draws a triangle And he's like Now zoom in on this shit

One plus one don't equal two They've been lying to you They've been lying to you And I'm like dude No you're really good at that Okay you're really good at that If I close my eyes for a minute You sound like

Okay You're really good at that Listen I got a lot of practice But it was funny because, like, I didn't know. I remember seeing that and I didn't know what that was about until some years later. Apparently it was confirmed that like this was before Terriology dropped, but Terrence Howard would go to Hollywood parties. Because he didn't release Terriology until, yeah, he debuted it later. He did.

In 2012, he wrote a book or tried to write a book. But he used to go to Hollywood parties all drunk. And like the rumor has it that R.D. Robert Donny Jr. was like at one of these. and fucking Terrence Howard is drunk as shit and he's like one time one don't equal two I'm sitting here telling you it do not And it's really funny to do an impression of that But do it you're like well I'm in blackface

And it's like kind of for a reason that might fly Yeah yeah yeah Where I'm already gonna be on camera for a whole movie Right right right worst stuff We're just gonna this is my one chance Do you I can't imagine like I've been on sets of like indie stuff before where you're the whole time you're wondering like is this going to work like are people going to like this but imagine like robert downy jr's just walking around in blackface being

like in character the whole time you're making kirk lazarus that was the actor yeah that must have taken a long time to film also like it's a pretty complicated movie like also there's a lot going on with it and imagine you're just like a pa jay bear a shell imagine you to nigg imagine you the Imagine you niggie delivering a coffee and you black, you know what I'm saying? You have to go up to Robert Dowdy Jr. With a Luke Warb cup of coffee. He's giving you the nod every time. He's like, thank you.

Big homie nod. I remember Jay Barrichelle, the nerdy kid, the nerdy guy in the movie that's like, hey, guys, you know, let's get it. Let's save it. Let's help each other. Oh, yeah. I remember in an interview like, I don't know, this is a few years back. I saw an Instagram real of it, but he was like, they were straight up in the jungle for parts of it. I don't remember where

I don't think it was a Vietnam anyway they kept having to reapply his brown because he would sweat and he's a very Robert Gennier like he was playing

he was method acting a method actor and so he would be like yeah re-religalegos and he would drop the black in and go into the Australian Kirk Lazarus accent he'd be like

I need to have my I need my black reapplied please I need it reapplied and then the black would go back on and he'd be like all right all right

well we'd want put one more coat we're going to take it from the top and i was like dude what an amazing movie did and then tom cruise tom cruise wrote that part for himself i thought that was so incredible like dude you can't you can't i'm not gonna be the guy to say you can't make movies like that anymore because of woke but you really cannot no we're working on it actually we're working on it oh y'all are cooking up the lab trump thunder two everybody's black like everybody writing a new Pootie Tang and stuff too. We're doing a lot of stuff behind the scenes.

You would not believe. Oh my God. Soul plane? Did you ever see SoulPay? Sadat-A-Tay. I saw a SoulPlan on Tubeby like a month ago. I've been trying to download it. They have every ad in the world.

I just posted about on Twitter. Dog, I'm trying to download SoulPlane, but the shit got like, on tour? Like it got zero seeds, bro. I've never, I've never seen. It's at 72 days. I've never seen that many Fabriz commercials while trying to watch something. Dog, I've been trying to download.

it but it says 72 days to download because there's no seeds and I'm like n nigga I wouldn't watch SoulPlan I need to watch that you know it's like lost media there's this whole thing we live in a digital dark age where like we don't keep like physical media is dying and I remember talking to somebody about Soulplane and they were like I

have a DVD I got at a pawn shop of Soulplane and I have an old DVD player and he was like I think I might have one of the only physical copies of Soulplane like in a lower 48 Soulplane has this trope that you don't really see anymore in movies, which is like a middle class

like kind of buttoned up white guy sees a black girl shaking her ass and he's like, ooh, what is this? Like, like, like he hasn't seen an ass being shaking before and he's like, he's got like birds spinning around up here.

It's like the big who coined the term eureka. He's like, you're weak and I've seen black laugh. Yeah, yeah. And his wife is like well. Yeah. Oh no That's just gross He's like whoa

Yeah It was like That clip's been resurfacing I was just talking to Thomas about it Of Ashton Coucher during punk He's talking about Hillary Duff And he's like She's 15

And everybody in this room Including This guy is waiting for her to turn 18 And like A bunch of air horns go off And like the punk graffiti Like comes on screen And it's like

Dude I always I was like, I was joking about, like, being born to a teenage mom. This is the bedroom camera prank. Like, Lil Wayne, like, in a couple years, hit me, yo, Miley Cyrus. Like, that was 2000 and, what, six? Yo. Like, people have it in their heads. Like, I always, I was joke.

Like, I have a teenage mom and she always says stuff, like, because my dad was 10 years older and it's like, oh, it was a different time. And I'm like, yo, like, the 2000s were not, like, up. That was somebody on Young Money, but was it Lil Wayne? I think that was like a Young Money Posse coat. It could have been maybe. I thought it was Lil Wayne. It sounds like Little Wayne.

Yeah, it could. It sounds like something he would say, but you might be right, Thomas. Because in the same verse, I remember that guy that says that he has sex with mentally disabled women. Oh, yeah, that's right. If he words it in a different way. Yeah, yeah. No, I like people Like I think around 2010

There was this collective awakening where we were like Because I saw it was one of the most popular Reddit thing when forums were kind of in their infancy was R slash jail bait and you would just go and post You're like saw this girl at the mall Oh guys back our slash jail bait What the point I was trying to make is is that like up until like I want to say like

Jake was complaining because he lost his admin's test and it was really like over some bullshit that I know they weren't they weren't down I you every like they treat the mods like absolute shit it's like they don't even want anybody they deserve better at it they uh like the the culture was like half of the movies the comedy movies until 2010 a subplot like waiting for example one of the subplots is like Ryan Reynolds is trying to fuck a 16 year old and then like any other comedy before 2010 there's like a main plot. And then there's like a subplot is like the stoner best friend is like, yo, the hostess from Sheddingles, guess what, guess who just turned 17? And he's like 35.

And she's fucking blonde. Yeah, yeah. And she's got huge. Turns at the camera with the with the knowing wink. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, and that was when people like, well, we can't make movies more, it's like, I know that people of like studios are sketched out about whatever like making comedies. It's like, yeah, we can leave that in the past. Like that one you can leave. Like, like every comedy like you're a tripper. Well, I'm a sleaze bag. Oh, yeah.

I'm a sleaze. It's like like like like you like, oh, I'm the dirty one of the group and it's like, oh yeah, he says like poop and fart and he like, like, whatever and he like doesn't shower. And then also he's a pedophile. Like that's like it's like I was watching break it bad. Um, the other day rewatching it. Well, the other day a couple months ago. The other day a couple months ago.

And, you know, Jesse says. to Walt. Like, he uses the word, like, can I, cannot say it on the show? Can I, cannot say it? Yeah, you're good. You're good. He says the word faggett.

Right. He calls Walter a faggotting, you know. Uh-huh. And back then, you know, like, I mean, now I'm not even going to excuse any of that, but it was just, like, sort of like, oh, dude, it was like, what, the fucking early, it was the late 2000s, like early 2010.

Early 2010, man. Yeah, yeah. But, like, what? now when I'm watching that show, you know, and I'm just like, dude, there's a lot of shit for good reason that you can't do anymore, but what I will say, and I'll like put my foot down on this, I think you should be able to do blackface within acceptable parameters, you know? It has, like, with an acceptable parameters. Can I ask you a question?

You're the, you're the foremost authority on the subject. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think we all get to make rules. No, you got to, you have to say, we've got to, I've been, I've been trying to. I'm directing the movie. You can do blackface. If I'm directing the movie. When those videos come out of the Japanese karaoke guys doing fucking Louis Armstrong, and they're fucking head to toe and they're like,

I see trees of clean. Red roses too. I see them brew for me and you and I think to myself. It's not like other jazz artists who are like, oh, great. Louis Armstrong is doing this one. I'm just a happy boy. I'm just a 50-year-old boy. It'll pan, bro, it'll pan to the Japanese audience,

and they're weeping tears, not of joy, but they're like, this is so beautiful. They think that happened because of Hiroshima. Yeah, yeah. They're like weeping, they're like, oh, like, oh, like, they're like, oh, like, yeah, that's my, that's my thing. That's my thing is like other They'll be like Polish

Like Poland's got talent And like they'll just be a guy who's talent He's really good at guitar and he's in black face For no reason I was arguing I was arguing with a Polish guy About this the other day where he was like There's no anti-black racism in Poland Because there's pretty much no black people

And I was like I don't I'll be honest I don't think that's how it works like Brother You brother because the United States exports culture, you can't tell me that, like, not even exports racism. I'm just saying that you can't tell me there's no anti-black racism in Poland because you don't have black Polish racism in Poland.

Have you seen the, like, TikTok stuff about how black people need to buy property in Poland? That's a big thing right now. That's great. Yeah, and I bet the Polish are mad about it, are they not? I don't know if they have figured out that part of the internet yet, but. I'm sure I would say too. Yeah, I'm screwing them light bulbs. They're still trying to log into the, into the, into the eye cloud.

Into net gear, I feel you. Yeah. Well, their prime minister has a girl's name, and he's like an MMA tough guy. I think his name's Carolina. I'm going to make sure. They should make, they should make me the authority of who and who can and cannot do blackface. They should. A head of state.

You know what I mean? Carolina. I do think what people can. I think whiteface is really hitting right now. When Drusky did the white face sketch a few months ago, dude, the entire, the entire country was so happy about that. Yeah, dude, I was loving that shit. Before that, before the era, he kind of soft-launched it with the NASCAR thing.

Oh, yeah. Oh, the, really. And you couldn't even really pretend to be mad about that. That was just, the Erica Kirk thing was predictably some people were mad about it. Yeah, but... The NASCAR thing was awesome. I don't... I mean, the production value on...

Oh, the NASCAR thing... The production value on his videos has gotten insane, though. I don't know how much money has gone into each, but it's getting crazy. Thomas can tell you about it. The NASCAR one, sorry. And, no, you, you, Thomas, you do the NASCAR one, because that one... He basically did whiteface, but in, like, a Joe Dirtway, like, with, um... You couldn't tell you.

With overalls and stuff. It was so good. And a mullet and stuff. And he went to... to a NASCAR rally in white face and was like being like, hell yeah, go, go America, go Trump. I love me some trucks and all the, you know, the white people, they were, you know, they were, they were still.

They were tricked. Enjoying it's like, it's like, what's that Jamaican artist, man? I can't remember his name. This is. M. D. N, D. R?

Nah, he did. He was, he talked about, on washing his face with the cake soap, which cake soap, I guess it's like a lie soap that if you use it enough, I guess, with lightenier complexion. I can't remember his fucking name, dude, but like, when you say white face, you're talking about, like, powdered up? Yeah, I mean, like, in white chicks.

Yeah, white chicks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he... Not like skin lightning. No, like Sammy Sosa style. Reverse blackface. He, like, wears white paint. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember I got accused of doing digital blackface because my profile picture on Twitter was Jimmy Fallon in blackface. Like, before I had my name, on my name before I had like a like before I like made my shit public or whatever um there was somebody that like I used to know from like an Austin like political thing that I was part of it like privately messaged me and it was like you know you're really damaging your reputation within like the the the DIY like left wing community in Austin for your

and I was like for what and they were like your profile pick on Twitter and I was like what is it the bird box building community of yeah yeah the DSA stop like I break You were about to flip Texas blue and then you fucked it up for everybody. I was like, bro, shut up, dude. Like, Jake is the reason why Beto didn't win. Yeah. Yeah, I felt like that's inception levels of, like, blackface, though, because, like, what are you talking about?

You talk about Jimmy Fallon, do it blackface, but you're playing Jimmy, you are Jimmy Fallon's Navtar doing blackmail. Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were like, this is racist. But without that, a lot of people probably would have forgotten that he ever did blackface. That's true. You know, it's like Sarah Silverman, people, I forgot she did blackface and people brought it up.

And I was like, oh, fucking I hate her now, right? Didn't Kimmel do blackface as well? Kimmel did it. Rob McElhenney from It's Always Sunny has done it like 50,000 times. He's done it like a lot. Dude, his are funny too. I don't know if you like It's Always Sunny, but his, when they do lethal weapon, that shit is so like his black, by the way, I wanted this. I'm going to circle back for a second to the NASCAR thing.

Aaron, the only thing that gave it away because he spent so much time on his makeup and prosthetics that it tricked a lot of people but his titty fat, when it was his titty fat would lift up it would be black because they didn't they didn't get the makeup under they weren't intent of enough

no, no, they didn't get it. So he'd be like, hell yeah, and then he would lift his... Imagine they could apply the makeup under the under titty fat. Drew, lift a titty up. Lift a titty up. Imagine how hot it is on your hair. there though this shit probably would have melted off

the necro titty yeah yeah he has he uses I don't even I've never ever wanted to say the N word but but you all have a really cool one it's y'all's version of cock sucker

it's fuck and then the N word that that word is so there's no like dog it there's another comedian we were talking about this he was like uh yeah I forget I forget his name. We were sitting in a green room

with creaking the cave and he's like, man, I really like y'all got cock suckers. He's like, I don't feel, he's like, it's not like I can't say it, but when a white person says cocksucker and he's like, man, y'all got it. He's like, we don't got that.

And I was like, you guys do. And he was like, no, that words too. I was like, dude, you guys have fucked. And he goes, you're right. He was like, dude, that one is like, that could be because cocksucker can be friend. Like, all right, here comes that cock sucker Joe. Or cockucker could be like, I'm going to beat the fucker out of you.

And he was like, yeah, same thing. Cogsaker has to be in enough of a southern accent, though. Like when Jake does it, it's good. But if I, like, if you say it too hesitantly or too slowly, then it just, it seems homophobic. Because if you have, if you have time to really piece together the word, it's like, well, what's wrong with that? You know what I mean?

If you're like, hey, you fucking cock sucker. Like, if you say like two words, two words is really good. You got to have a cock sucker. Cogsucker. Yeah, yeah. Brother, it's like, Jake, to your point, there's a tribe called Quest song, A Tribe Called Quest song. Oh, yeah.

A tribe called Quest song called Suck a Nigger, where a Q-Tip talks about, like, how good it feels to say that word. Dog, like, of course, I'd be calling my white niggas niggas, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, I can call you dude, but also, to the point also of cock sucker, I've been watching the Sopranos. Oh, yeah. Those guys, those New Jersey Italians, say cock sucker in a perfect way, which, again, to your point, Thomas, I feel like if I say it, I mean, like, maybe because I'm black, I'm maybe a little bit less homophobic, but it's a little bit like degrees removed from that. But also, people might assume that you're more homophobic because you are black. Exactly.

People do assume homophobia in black men. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Cocksucker. New York accent, cocksucker. Cock sucker, yeah, yeah. There's a little bit, but like, it's like, they're, the, the.

Tox sucker. Drusky yells that, yells at that homeless guy, keep God in your life. The, the, the, the questioning is, but, man, you, like, like, almost like you're cruising a little bit. Man, you fucking cock sucker? Yeah, like, it's like, it's like just, nigger or nigger, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, cocks sucker? Cocksucker. Yeah, it was like, like, we're, suck.

Man, get out here, you little cuxica? Yeah, yeah. Cuxaacca. It sounds like a bird in the Amazon. Like a bird, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, if I had a parrot, that's all he would say. When I'm working on the car, I'm like, I'm cuck sucking motherfucking piece of shit. And then it's like, I like my neighbors are like, no, I got like a fat Hispanic neighbor and we both work on our shitty cars at the same time.

And he was always like, beach I went away and what I'm like, dang. I like and we both like he doesn't speak English and I but we know curse words in each other's languages and we both just like share a nod like yeah this shit sucks it's a hundred degrees I'm working on my fucked up car whatever the fuck but yeah back to that that word my the reason I brought it up is Druski has a video where he calls a homeless guy the FN and it's just so funny he goes keep God in your life and it just it just in the hands to the homeless guy who's just covered in mud and like he's got fucked up dreadlocks I don't know why that's so funny because he like rolls down the window and he like rolls down the window and he's just it just it just in the hands to the window and he like he's just down the window and he's just and his like Maybach, because he's got money now. And the homeless guy's like, he like gives the homeless guy some money. The homeless guy's like, God bless you,

young blood, God bless you, God bless you. You ain't know what you did. You just, you just bless the real one. You're really, really good at that. Yo, it's kind of frightening.

I'm sorry. Jake hasn't gotten an opportunity like this. Jake hasn't gotten an opportunity like this on the podcast in a long time. You know how long? This is like, you know what, when you've been taking your dog out on walks,

but finally he gets to play around at the dog part. This is Jake getting to run around off the Thank you brother This is Jake off leash Yeah yeah All of my other black friends are an emo band So they talk like this

They're like hey what's up So they're weird old black niggas Oh yeah yeah yeah they're cool I love them But they're not you know what I mean They're like no Their families hate them They're like hey Jake

What's up cock sucker Yeah What's up cock sucker What's up cock sucker What's up cock sucker Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah

You want to listen to some title fight And fucking smoke cigarette Yeah, yeah. He'd dapp you up all wrong. Like, man, man. Sick choker, man. When we were in Chicago, uh, and then when I, sick choker, uh, we're Chicago, uh, we're, I was in the green room and there was like, all the comedians

that were, uh, doing the room next to us. It was like three black dudes and, uh, like, dude, I, I, I fucked up three daps in a row with three different, do sweaty? No, I was just like, I was. You ain't connect like... Because I do have a good one. I do them pretty good, but I was just nervous. I had two-show jitters.

I'm doing pretty good. I do a pretty good one. And then, but fucking I, the first one, I came in too early for the shoulder touch. And so we jammed the hands up. The second one, I just missed the class. Well, you felt the nigga beat or got fired after you. Yeah, yeah. And then by the third fucked up one, I had...

I literally had to bring it up. I was like, yo, that's three strikes, dude. I fuck the game up. Like, I'm so mad. And then Thomas was just chugging THC sodas in the corner. and I go up and tell Thomas, I was like, dude, I just fucked up my third DAP with my third cool black guy. And Thomas was like, dude, you got it. You're fucking, what are you talking about?

Other day, other day I grabbed top two fingers, then did a snap. You really can't mess it up worse than that. I think I've been getting that. Grab the top two fingers, do a snap, walk away and just hold your head. You know, sometimes your hands be sweaty, dog. My hands be sweaty sometimes. Yo, even as a nigga. But also, I never, I never grew up pulling people in for a dab.

I grew up with a dick. I grew up with a distant. I grew up with the this, this. It's okay if the eyes touch, you know what I'm saying? Like, if the thighs touch. I didn't grow up with it being a hug. But meat touch, if you went to that meat touch, you know, that's cool too. The meat touch, you know.

Meat against thigh, bro, you know. Yeah. I guess, I guess, you know, there's different ways to do it culturally. You know, we're not here to enforce, you know, the rules with that kind of thing. I've been messing up regular handshakes, too, lately. just any kind of greeting I've been fucking up badly lately

because I tried I've been working on making eye contact with people better but then my peripheral vision so bad I can't see people's hands and so it's just I just I'll grab a wrist

I'll grab fingertips I'll squeeze too hard or not enough and for me it's kind of all or nothing grip wise like I either crush people's hands or it's like a very limp situation do you guys have

do you guys uh because I if I don't wear my glasses, I have pretty bad vision. So sometimes, like, you know, there was a minute where my glasses broke when I went on a trip in Florida. So when I came back, dude, like, I didn't really wear them, you know, and I couldn't see. So it was a situation, classic situation where I would see someone, like, walking down the block, especially because, like, most of my homies are white, right? And at that point, everyone looks like, right? Even if you're black, but to be fair, it's just like, the faces meld together.

you know yeah and like i'd like you know be like hey what up you know or like approaching closer to someone but that's a fucked up like kind of interaction situation where i'm like man like did i like nod like enough to let the person know that i know them to acknowledge that fact or is it more like like just like a polite like hey what's up you know big homie nod yeah yeah yeah big homie nod or like a A plight, like, you know. Like, I have a very, I have a very antisocial thing that I do whenever that happens is I always double down. And if I go, hey, I was going and they don't do anything back, I'll go, good talk. Every time I go, hey, good talk.

Even if it's anything. I go, hey, good talk. 100% of the time. And I can't, I do it at work. I do it every time it happens. I go, yep, good talk, man. That's what you. you gotta do this a loop,

you gotta be like, yeah, dude, I hit a guy with one, I don't even do this, but I was in the green room a while back and I was having like, I think I said something awkward,

like, I was just, I had like, had like two sips of a weed soda and weed fucks me up so bad. I can't smoke it. I get like, I get two milligrams.

I'm, I'm like on acid. Like I get so high. And we were all talking to the green room and I like, I fucked the vibe up. I didn't say nothing uncomfortable. And that just,

I just didn't say, I fucked the, flow the conversation up and I was like but yeah sometimes that's how I be I'd never do that I don't do this ever like that's that's how he's out but you're still there yeah literally like like like you know like that meme where the guy fades away to the fucking party next door song or it's like recognize and then he just fades I thought I was going to disappear but I was just like and it that's how it be sometimes and I just but you stayed in the room for the next time yeah yeah I just no that's where you got to go to the corner you do it but you back up to the

quarter slowly I hate it when somebody tries to like in passing it like does like hey how's it going man and I'm just in my own world and then I snap into life but I kind of it's like I wake up as I'm talking kind of that happened to me today and the guy said hey how's it going and what I said was tuber you man tuber you man just kept going and it was like I combined a few things I had in mind that I might say back and I just had to keep going with my day. When it happens, I just get up and walk away. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't really have a whole lot of good interactions in my day-to-day life. Now that I'm really thinking about the way that I move around the world, this is probably something I could work on. You're like an introspective guy. Like, you know, like, we always have the same when we do shows like, I think like Thomas will like volunteer to man the merch table and then like I just kind of mill around and or whatever. But what it, but it's more of like a I get really anxious if I don't have anybody to talk to.

Like if I'm not around people, I get like really weird. Dude, me and Thomas talk about this all time. I don't know how you guys like you guys are with like Terrence and Tom, but like, dude, Tom is a guy. Thomas is a guy who can like exist in silence and I am not. So we'll be on these long road trips together Like, where like, dude Thomas brought, I brought it up and Thomas was like, yeah, I've noticed it Like several times where I'm like, it'll be like an hour into us hanging out and I'll be like

I don't even like sports dude I'll be like dude, the Astros got a new pitcher and Thomas is like Mm-hmm And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about the Astros But I'm like I need something to happen or like I'm going to start to Yeah, I feel like I've never been diagnosed but I feel like there's like an ADHD part of my brain where I need to talk all the time I mean, I talk to myself

The other day I was fucking walking down the street Just no one It was so early in the morning Walking down the street smoking a cigarette And none of my neighbors were out And I'm just looking up the sky Talking to the sky About like about something

That had happened the night before And one of my neighbors I guess Was walking a dog and was like, huh? I didn't even notice her dude She was across the street But just heard me talking and thought That I was talking to her I was like oh shit

Now, and I guess this is where I'm viewing to like your territory, Thomas. I was like, oh shit. Someone's actually interacting with me, you know, but I'm talking to myself, which is much more comfortable than usually what I'm used to. But still, I feel like when I talk to people, sometimes I'm talking to myself, you know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm most comfortable when I'm like forcing somebody into this situation that I've just created. You know what I mean?

I like to do that. Like the other day, I was in a public bathroom, and there was a, I went to wash my hands. Another guy went to wash his hands of this thing next to me. And as he hit the soap to put it on his hands, I went, oh, yeah, it's classic. And I knew that it would fuck with him. And I knew that that wasn't really. And that was such an uncomfortable thing. but I was totally in control of the situation.

There's nothing he could have said to make it more comfortable or less comfortable. Thomas is classic. Thomas knows exactly what I'm about to bring up, but he does this shit to me all the time and it fucking, is like extroverted, I guess as I am and like bouncing off the walls. Like I've been that way my whole life. Like,

there are certain things that like I get secondhand embarrassment really bad to the point where like my spine will like literally recoil. When we go to order food sometimes, Last time I was in Brooklyn with Thomas, we were at this place. It was like yummy chicken number 58. You know, one of those like places in Brooklyn, it's like they sell everything from donuts to like fucking dim sum like everything. Like, yo, do I want donuts from a chicken place or I do what chicken chicken from a donut place?

Yeah, it was just, we had been recording for like six hours and I was like this place is really bad but it's next to my house. Yeah. So we walked down there and fucking Thomas is up at the front with this like, I don't know, like Armenian, Albanian or Azerbaijan, whatever. I just caused a civil war by confusing all three of those, but like, whatever. And he goes up to the fucking counter, dude, and he goes, hey, could I get an amazing slice of pizza with a delicious lemonade from the, from the cooler?

And then maybe like a yummy dipping sauce with that. And I'm fucking standing next to him and I'm like, I'm locking up like I have toxic shock syndrome, dude. Yeah, like, like the man of war. Yeah. And like, and then he does it sometimes when we're like at the coffee place buys. He's like, can I get an amazingly. delicious iced latte with a yummy pump of vanilla.

And I'm like, and I've, I've tried to do it. Like, I've tried to do it to other people. And by the way, Thomas, I think just has kind of a,

a look about him. Maybe it's a swagger. I don't know, but people let you get away with it. I've tried it and people immediately are like, uh, what's up? Like,

what are we doing? Like, nobody asked questions. I tried to do it to the coffee lady at my, my, by my old place, like a year ago. I was like,

can I get an amazing. an amazing iced latte with a yummy pump of vanilla and she goes, what are we, what are we doing? Can I get a scrumptious pumpkin latte? She's like, no one's ever used to. I'm gonna call the police, you're a pedophile. Yeah, right, exactly.

Thomas, we'll be at this fucking, like, swarma place and he's like, can I get an absolutely delectable swarma, lamb, please? And the guy's like, yeah, 100% whatever you want. You want Zat Zee? Yeah, I got you. Drives me crazy. He's like, bro, you have your cream on it?

You want extra delicious cream on that? Yeah, yeah. bro, I got you. Yeah, yeah. A delightful day. Yeah, yeah. Have a delightful, amazing day. Yo, no one, not everyone can say that.

Yeah, no. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm going. But what I can't say is, hi, how are you doing? Yeah, okay, okay. And so it's better to be able to say the latter for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see this, my boys sent me this, uh, TikTok, uh, where this guy's at a waffle house with his friends. And he adds, like, nigger after every order.

So, like, I feel like that's a particular thing. Bro, he was like, yeah, let me get like an All-American breakfast with, like, you know, two eggs over easy, nigger. You know what I'm saying? Let me get like, you know, let me get like a biscuit with butter on top, nigger. But every other one, every other order is like, you know, like it skips it. But I was like, dude, like, you know what? I think if I said that or if some people say that, well, some people, some black people. Right.

It could be aggressive, right? Or it could be like, okay, dick, I got you, you know. Yeah, yeah. I have an Ecuadorian coworker who does talk exactly like that. And I don't know how he gets away with it because he talks like that with everybody, white, black, Latino, like in an office setting, he will talk like that. And I'll just look around like, I guess we're doing this. I guess I guess everybody's funny.

Dude, every person is like, he's like from a part of the Bronx where he's just, just he's kind of has fat Joe syndrome you know what I literally I literally have my my brother from another mother man my friend well mention his name but he's one of my best friends man I'm still lives back in New York and he's ecodorian dude and he grew up like in a part of the Bronx where like Castle Hill or whatever you know yeah dog he just says and I've never thought about it but what time I remember went to duck and dodoad so like 3 a m drunk as fuck dude and like downtown man hat he was like you know let me get one of the bus and creams and then he's He spoke to me.

And he was like talking to me. It's like, yo, da-da-niggin. And the black chick working like serving the Boston cream. She stopped Boston cream mid-sleeve. You know what I'm saying? Midway into the sleeve of the package turned around, looked at him. She's like, you can't say that. What the fuck?

You can't say that. I was like, dog, I can't help you here, man. I'm going to back out slowly because that's a black person. I feel like I should have been the one to check you. But you know what? I accepted, but nigga, I don't, you know. I heard that the hood pass, it does. exist, but it's not universal.

It's like trying to pay... It's like trying to pay for a Costco with a Walmart gift card. Like, it don't work the same. Like, I... This was explained to me. But the problem is, too, is that these guys, it just... It's like, uh... They're not gonna get it.

They're not gonna stop. And they don't really understand either. No, no. Dude, I... And the part of Houston I grew up in in South Houston, there's like... It's primarily a Hispanic and African and American, and then there's a... and then white in a small pocket of Vietnamese, right? And we would go to this fucking...

Small but dangerous. Small but dangerous. Bro, we would go to this fucking cornerstore owned by this Vietnamese dude, and he was born and raised in South Houston, still had the accent, but spoke in AVE, and he didn't... He wasn't trying.

Did you call the AVE? A, A, A, V, E, whatever. Hey, yeah, yeah. He's spoken to AVEEE, E, E. However, I just said it wrong. I've never heard anyone call A. Abe. I was like, you talk about a girl?

Jake, the proper term is he bonding? Yeah. It broke. Thank you, Thomas. It broke. Thank you, he fucking, dude, he was, I was in the store and this homeless guy comes in, like, clearly 100% on bullshit. And the guy's, like, literally the guy, like, gets a broomstick, and he's like, you can't fuck with me.

I'm from round the way. I'm from round the way. You do not fuck with me. I'm from round boulevard. I don't, you do know, I don't play. I do not do. You want to come here fuck with me. I do not play.

And, like, like, I heard an old black man. I heard an old head black dude like, hey, I'm from around away. You ain't going to come in here on no bullshit. But he was like, he, but he, but, and he had his broomstick. And dude, like the, the homeless guy who's just like tweaked out, methed out white dude, did not know how to respond. Because it was this like four foot 11 Vietnamese guy that was like, you think you fuck with me? I'm real. You're not real.

You fake. I'm real. And I'm so high. I'm in high school. It's like me, all my friends. And by the way, like this is, this is, I don't want, nobody. come from me this was 2009 we were all saying it I don't care so like

we use the word faggot freely back then yeah yeah the housing crisis had just happened give him a break we lost the road's household we lost the above ground pool there was a lot that went down there yeah hey we never had that don't put me in no middle class bullshit don't ever

anyway so like so I'm fucking we're in the car and we're like we're like I don't know we were rolling a swisher that was real and fucking, I'm like, can you believe this? We were all really high and I was like, I said, I was like, can you believe this? Like, in front of the Vietnamese guy and I said the soft day and my friend who was black,

I had been, I, wait, wait, hold on, can you believe this, nigga? That's okay. Yeah, I'll say here, I'll, you finish it. I was like, can you believe this? Yeah, yeah. And he had let me get away with it since we were in like fifth grade. Don't let him make you a button. That's not.

Yo, brother, I'm very used to it. As a blog, I'm very... Thomas is like, Jake, no, Jake, stop. He's like, you had the LG remote, nigga, don't do I'm doing it. Anyway, anyway, I had never been checked on it for like, for like, fucking dude for like five, six years of my life. The entire life probably, bro. 10 to 16, and but we were all high and I, and I don't know what, he turns around. We were in the, like, this shitty fucking, like, Honda Civic.

And he's like, he's like, rolling the switcher. And he was like, hey, man, man, like, times are kind of changing, man. And he was like, I don't know if I'm comfortable. And, like, and I was like, you know what? That's the thing who started woke, bro. Yeah, that was him. I was like, he was photo woke. But, dude, I went home and I felt so, I had conflicting emotions, dude.

I went home and I was like, I was like playing fucking Tony Hawk's underground. And I was like, I was like, wait a minute. I've been, hold on now. I'm like, you stayed up all night, ruminating through your brain. Yeah, dude, for real. And then like the next day, I was like, hey, man, I'm sorry. He's like, no, it's cool. And he's like, he's like, I haven't like, he's like, I haven't been thinking about it.

It's like, yeah, you probably didn't like, dude. But after that, I had like a phase where I was like at once, once I got chopped on it, once I got corrected, dude, I was the police. Like, I was like, all of my other friends that hadn't gotten the memo. I was like, hey, brother, we don't talk like that. Hey, brother. We don't do that anymore. And we're not fucking these white women anymore.

I still am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody's got to do it. Somebody's got to take one for the team. Indeed. I swore out, yeah, no white women for me. I got to get into, I've Latino syndrome. My mom tells me I should swear him off, but, you know, I don't know, man.

She warns you? Like, they're snakes or something? Yeah, I mean, like, my mom hates white people. Oh, okay. My mom's, she was a man for white. Oh. for white families. I mean, when I say hates white people,

she just does not like white people, you know. Can't believe her. You know, I mean, isn't it? You know, I mean, it's, you know, we're, we're, we can be a ramponious. You know what? Get her on the podcast. We're going to iron this out. Yeah, she'll love me.

You know what I mean? I think she'll love the story you just told it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude, like, I told the story to Thomas, but when I was in college, this kid who, like, skipped three grades, he's from Uganda. a like a child prodigy genius. He lived in our dorm.

He was like 16 years old in college. You mean he'd get like, when he'd get like A minuses, inspiration of like you should have got an A triple A plus type of shit. Yeah, yes. He was the first one in college. Why did you not do better? Yeah, yeah, just turned 16.

We would all go out and and we would all get drunk and we would like use our fake IDs to buy beer. And yeah. Oh, that's a death sentence, bro, for you gond and parents. Dude, we were drinking out in front of the dorms and he was just like being really nervous

and he was like, if we get cut, what is something, they would call my parents. And I was like, yo, it's cool. Your parents will be fine with it. And like, I learned that, because I grew up white trash. So if anybody called my mom and they were like,

your son's drinking alcohol and doing drugs, she'd be like, sounds good. Like, whatever. Hang up to fun. Proud of me. Not a Ugandan mom. I learned that day. Jamaican parents apparently the same.

They're like, they're, anyway. My mom hates the fact that I. My mom hates the fact that I smoke weed, which I haven't in a while, actually. Should actually start that up again. But, um, no, dude, I think there's like, there's this sort of like, um, I mean, it is a stereotype, right? Of, like, especially Jamaicans being these, uh, pot smoking. Actually, Kamala Harris's father said it best. She was like, he was like, she's using the sort of, um, uh, pot smoking joy seeking sort of stereotype of Jamaicans, you know, um, as a woman who,

who as as fucking the GA, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Of, uh, fucking, um, of California who locked people up for smoking weed. Super cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, super cop, dude. But like, also, I was like, dog, like, it's, it's something that feels, it's very weird, man. You know, it feels incongruous almost, you know, where I'm like, dude, like, I'm,

Jamaican. I feel like I should be smoking spliffs all day. Yeah. But it's not accepted. Did you guys see the, do you guys remember the, uh, whiteest kids do you know, sketch? Uh, which one? That was the, that was the, you know.

the, it was like the Jamaican slave sketch. Did you guys see that? I saw that, I was at a friend's house and he had bought, he had bought the box set of white as kids, you know. And we were like going through and a lot of it was holding up pretty well. And we got to that one and it just kind of soured the whole night because it was like, you know, the sketch started and it was like, oh man, I hope this is over quick. But it was like, oh, God, it was, it was the concept was,

what if there was a Jamaican slave? Which doesn't even make sense as a speech because, like, Jamaica. But, but yeah, it was just, and it wasn't even a Jamaican guy. It was just like an American black guy. They could smoke of weed and be like, yo, cut the shit. Yeah, it was just like, he was like lazy. Nah, man. Yeah.

And then the white, like, slave owners ended up smoking with them or like the sons of the slave owners did. And they became like peaceful or whatever. But I was like, oh, I was like, I was like, this is what this is what. Slate, what are you smoking? Yeah, exactly. What are you, what is that in your hand, slave? He's like, yeah, man, hit this shit. And I was like, okay, that's why Kamala Harris's dad was really.

I know. Okay. I told Thomas this before, but like, uh, my ex-girlfriend was like the most normal, like, girl bossy swifty like white girl of all time we were together for like really long time we would go to her i would bring my friends to her like normal she would have like cocktail parties with like little sandwiches and uh niggi i mean 3 000 sandwiches bro you can't give me a sandwich that small we were playing and it's like a it's a hack joke but like we were playing jackbox and my uh my roommate at this time was this black dude cliff and uh niggaday pliff okay yeah and he he He, dude, he was like, um, he was like five, six years older than us. And he was, he was one of those dudes that was like couch surfing and then he just started paying us rent and then he just moved then. And, uh, we were playing jackbox and it was like the quip lash or whatever. And, uh, and he's the only black dude there.

And then like my Hispanic, my best friend, Edgar is, uh, like first gen Mexican dude. And then just like all my white friends. And they're like putting answers in like fart or whatever. And, and, like, and everybody's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Cliff, no matter what the question was, he would put the hard arm. And it would, it would, and then the prompt would be like, somebody you don't want babysitting. You're newborn. And it would be like, like, like, my, my ex-girlfriend, all of her, like, white, like, marketing, advertising, girlie would be, like, a witch or, like, you know, like, a hobo.

And then, like, my buddy Edgar, he would put, like, you know, like, a bean or whatever. And then it would get to the hard art And like, dude, me, Cliff, everybody, all my boys were like But let me ask a question, bro. When you read that word, I mean, like, this is why on Twitter when I first got on Twitter, man, I was just throwing like the word, and they gave my tweets Because it's very funny to me as a white person, especially if you're like, I don't know, man, not even woke, but on the left, you know, whatever.

Sure, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're just a person who, you know, you are poor any sort of whatever. y'all know what i mean yeah yeah yeah it's very funny though to be able to read that you have to because dog you have to visualize in your mind you have to hear to your mind where you when you when you read it yeah i just spin the word around and there's a big no there's a big no sign and i just shake my head and i go uh-uh-uh like your mind you get like if you get like if you get like temporary amnesia for a minute yeah i feel i got yeah my phone makes a big white flash and then when i look up again I'm on a different

I'm on a different Freddy Gibbs in the car and thugging comes on and it's like Brackard Laces in my number three He's take a pull up off the wood And let that motherfucker breathe And then when it

Right when it gets to these It says the N-word My car explodes I think it's spontaneous It can bust It switches to Fleetwood Mac Right as it is Now here you go again

You want your freedom All right kids Let's roll oh fucking good damn shit oh man yeah i like people that was like a stupid debate that was going around on the internet for a little while where it was like um you know like can you say it when you're rapping or whatever like like who can see like when you

whatever and i like and i started to think about like um who's that me that mexican o t he's a rapper from where i'm from like right around the corner from where i grew up Bay City and he was on Instagram live and somebody was like, yo man, keep it Raza, like you don't got to say the N-word and he was like, why don't you suck my balls

and finger my asshole and suck my dick, or he said something crazy and like all the chat responses were like, yo, what the fuck like. But like he kept rapping it and he kept saying it and in an interview he was like yeah, everybody just says it like where I'm from or whatever. It's like Fat Joe, yeah, I think you mentioned it earlier, Thomas

so when did you guys mention this? I thought he was black. Yo dude, I thought like, Like, okay, so, yo, this might sound, all right. Like, I feel like, I'm not going to give anyone the past, right? But I feel like, I mean, also I don't fucking care, dude, whatever. But, like, with Fat Joe, like, every time that he said it in his songs in the 90s, you know, or fucking big pun. I was like, yeah, nigga, okay. But now, like, because of where we are now socially, you know, people have, and for good reason, you know, I'm not knocking at it.

But people have come after Fat Joe for saying that. And like, it's just really funny to watch this guy, this fat, like, pallid, like, what is he, Dominican? Puerto Rican and white or something? Yeah. I think he's, the thing is, I just, I haven't met many Puerto Rican people who were just Puerto Rican. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody I meet is, like, Afro Latino. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Dude, you know who it's not my place, but, like, every person, I've asked people at work, like, oh, like, you know, you have a Puerto Rican flag on your car. I'm like, oh, are you like, your family's from Puerto Rico? Or Dominican. Yeah, or like, oh, and they're always like, oh, my mom or dad is, and then my other parent is black or mixed or whatever. So it's like, I don't know. You know who I didn't know was mixed and has the past and I got crazy.

Halsey. Halsey, who's that? Halsey, she's a, that chain smoker. So, baby, pull me closer in the back seat of Europe. Her dad is a black man. I thought that was a British white woman. Okay. No, no, no.

I was confused with her. And I was, uh, I was like, I got in an argument and I was like, she can say it. The host of Pendejo Time have officially given Halsey the past. With the section of, uh, with the section of error from Tribble. Yeah. Well, it's like, it's like the logic, the logic guy. The Pendejo Time podcast has forgiven Halsey. Rolling Stone's head time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a picture of me like this. I'm doing the bucket. I'm like fading into the background Like Oh my god Yeah like It was like when logic said it

And I dude when logic said it I was like ah I like didn't know Well hold of logic You talk about logic The rapper Yeah the white Okay okay

He's yeah his thing is being biracial Though he's been into that For a long time I didn't know I did not know though He has like three albums about it I don't listen to him Let me not

Let me not judge I'm not gonna be the nigga With the Calipers Okay I'm not going to do that. Like, I feel like, I feel like right now, I'm like, are you allowed to say the N-word? Let family guy. When it's like the race, we have to be the police because all we know is that we can't say it.

And the more people that can't say it, the more included we are. You know what I think you should do? It's like when you go to foot locker boat and they bring out the scale, you know what I'm saying? When you measure your foot, your correct foot size, I mean, maybe I should bring out the calipers, you know what I mean? Yeah. To disdertained who can say. say that word. I hate when I if I go to a shoe store and they try to measure

my feet, I'm like, I will absolutely not. I'm a grown-up. If I'm buying the wrong size, I'm going to keep buying the wrong size. I'm not letting another man tell me how big or small my feet are. I'm going to wear some uncomfortable shit. I'm just tell me whatever size I tell you, just go

see if you have it. Don't do doctor shit to me. I never went into a, I went into a lids one time and I was like, I don't belong here. I got to get the fuck out of here. So why don't they, okay, so if you go to footlock that and they measure your feet, while you go to lids, they don't pull up the calipers to measure your head. So you get the right cap, the hat size.

My dad used to take me into lids and my white trash dad who wore, my dad dressed like John Sina up until the day he died. He just, like, you just, whatever. It's small black teeth, tight-fitting black teeth. Huge black, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge bluer black jeans that went down to like mid-shin and then, like, the biggest or smallest t-shirt you've ever seen in your life. and he always would go in and get a new hat. And so he would take me into lids when I was a kid in like the 90s. And they would be like, my dad would be like, you want a hat?

And I'd be like, no, I don't want a hat. You know what I will say they should. I was making a joke earlier, but now what I'm thinking about seriously, they should probably have calipers for lids, bro. Because I've went to lids before as a kid, man, and I got too many hats, bro. What they got the size is like seven and eighths or like, you know, that doesn't mean shit to me. I don't know what you're talking about.

They start talking about metric shit like drill, like, like, bro. And they're like, oh yeah, just try on a hundred different hats. Let your shit be swimming, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your skull is swimming in the cap. I got a fucking head out because I got a spot. But thank you, Aaron, for coming on the show.

This was a blast. No, thank you for having you on you. Yeah, anything you want to promote. Oh, man, the Trillillies, man, Trailbilly Workers Party. That is the podcast, the main podcast I do. Folks should check that out. I don't. It's a good time.

You do art too, don't you? Or you got like an art? I mean, I'm right, man, but people just follow me on my Twitter, man. Oh, okay, I got you. Afrocosmist. I mean, yeah, Afrocosmust, but really, yeah, I mean, Trilbillian, man. Truebillies, yeah, check out Trilbillies and follow Aaron on Twitter, Afrocosmus. And then head on over to patreon.com slash Pendejo time.

Make sure you sub to the show. And I've got a bunch of shit to plug, but I'll plug it next time. Thank you, Aaron, for coming on again. and I'll see you guys next week. Thanks so much. Yeah. Thank you.