Pendejo Time - mantras

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

im losing my fuckin mind its over its over its over im dying im dying im dying. yeah can I get a spicy chicken deluxe no pickles with fries and a lemonade. thanks.    buy tickets to the shows next week fellas  check out show and please subscribe     

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They, like, listen to the show, and I'm like, what the fuck are you? That's cool, man. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, oh, yeah, I kind of forget, like, a lot of people listen to the show, but that's good. I'm glad that I can help you. I'm glad that we could be of service. Yeah, we'll have, like, Brittany Spears messages, and she'll be like, oh, my God, I was, I didn't know what dressed her wear, but Jake, you were talking. I didn't know which pills I should take and get through it.

Yeah, I was having a schizophrenic breakdown and doing a dance and a tutu and throwing my dog down the stairs. And I thought, you know, I'm going to ask Jake from Pendejo time what pills I should take to even myself out. He always seems to know the answer to those questions. so I'm just going to make sure he knows that I'm thinking of him dude she's on my list like if I could have it any other way like I would love to just hang out for a day with Britney Spears because clearly her mind's been reduced to absolute slop but a lot of guys I know that I like do like

have their minds have been reduced to absolute slop and they don't have anything so I think it would be cool as fuck to like ride roller coasters with her or something or like you know just ride around on a night nice car or just and then she's like the other day I had a pair of socks on and one of them had a microphone in it and I'd be like 100% you made fucking toxic

that's the sickest thing that you're in the best position you could be in right now actually that's not true it would be great if you weren't like how you are remember when she was in that conservative ship or whatever yeah everybody was like there's nothing wrong with her let her go and then she got out and she's like

ah yeah she literally got out and was like dancing naked on Instagram, and she'd be like, aha, just found a camera. And they keep putting cameras in my, in my, plug, my charging outlets. And I was like, yep, you got to throw her back on. Sorry, I, I didn't understand. I, listen, I wasn't familiar with your game.

Spears family, you guys were very clearly more intimately acquainted with this than I was. So, um, because in my mind, somebody in that state of mind probably doesn't know how much money they have. I, like, I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she knows she has a billion. she's got to know you know I don't know how far gone

she is but she's definitely on the like a if I had dream blunt rotation Britney Spears um Carl Rove just to ask him about 9-11 because I know he knows

and probably Mike Tyson um and then who else oh yeah Steve he's dead but

Steven Paddock if you could bring somebody back to life Dream Blunt rotation those four people I just want to answer also I would have to also keep Britney Spears If it was modern day Okay I'm going Britney Spears Yeah Eddie Williams

Great answer Just those three I'll take that yeah yeah Yeah well because I'm gonna hit the blood twice yeah One for Willie Dude his family keeps His family keeps posting

pictures of him and he and they're like this happens every couple months where they'll be like his disease has progressed and we just want to let you guys know that he that he can't he doesn't know where anything is anymore and he's completely mentally gone and they'll post

a picture of him where he's like I'm like guys we know what dementia you don't have to keep posting pictures of this lost it's fucking it up more for me to give you guys a heads up it's worse it touches his cock anymore And his cock is limp And it's not hard

And he has a soft spot on the back of his head Like a baby And we Yeah with the croquette hammers This is my dad Who's a hundred years old Is no longer the same guy Who may die hard

Yeah that's the thing That's the pets are really bad I can't believe he's not doing What's it called the series that remember when the expendables I can't believe

he's not going to be in the expendables 11 yeah oh god with with 90 year old sliced yeah when

Denzel Washington announced he's not doing the equalizer anymore and people were like it's not going to be the same movie I was like

he can't do karate even pretend I don't know how the fuck he made the last do it was getting he made the frequentizer

with Didi yeah okay okay The Frequelizer? Yo, Did he has the frequentizer. Yeah, he checks his watch

and he's like, in 32 seconds, I'm going to have sex with all you. I work at the baby oil store. Yep. That's my cover. Yep. And I, so my name's Thomas and I do roast. That is the sort of roast I do.

If you guys want more of that. Lisa Lampinelli, Jeff Ross, all you guys, please listen to this podcast. I want to be a professional roaster. Yeah, trying to get me on a dais. I want my life to go just like Greg Giroldos

Exactly like Greg Giroldos I would love to be Dave Attell If you guys could make that happen Yeah Whenever Greg Geraldo died And they were like Nobody knew but he was a lawyer It's like that's worse

That makes me respect him less Yeah I like Wait who's I get him mixed up Greg Giroldo is the guy Who killed himself Okay yeah yeah

And David Tell was just David Tell is still alive Oh, is he? Oh, I get them too mixed up All right, never mind Yeah, he's Um Currently doing very well

With such acts as Legion of Skanks And Ian fight ins Okay, swag Yeah, all right, no, he's doing good He's one of the, He's one of the old comics who just, He sits, Road Dog

Yeah, he like, he'll be on Kill Tony And he's just kind of Wincing the whole time Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah Yeah, whenever they do, Eddie Pepit. I love Eddie Pepitone. Does he go on Killtony?

I think he goes on. I think he went on Rogan once. And sometimes he'll be... No, I'm thinking of Brian Holtsman. I do like Eddie Pepitone a lot. But Brian Holtsman is the guy that's always at the mothership. Another older guy that's just like...

I saw Eddie Pepitone went on Choppo. I didn't watch it, but... Yeah, he's thinking he's promoting his, like... Yeah, he's a leftist. Yeah, that's awesome. Prominent leftist, Eddie. Eddie left at tone Okay

They're fine Yeah I vote I'm voting I'm voting blue I'm voting blue No matter who I think he's just like

I'm yelling about voting How about that guys You like that? That's pretty good Eddie set the tone And he's an angry black guy Oh my God That's so much better

That is insane Not even kidding That is 10 times better Than Peppa vote Or whatever the fuck is like God damn Yeah Eddie set the tone Hey

I'm sick of all these motherfucking It's just a black comedian I guess Eddie Pepper Eddie Pepper phone I'm charging Eddie Pepper Pig He's like Hello

I'm a pig oh yeah that's all right that's fine oh my god yeah have you rest in peace of Gilbert phone freed I'm charging Gilbert phone free

yeah where's my phone where's my phone I needed to charge you've received one text message dude when I found out he didn't really talk like that I was pissed

he does it it's not that bad it's like a he thought he's got a little bit of a thing but it's not that stanky he doesn't have that it's not that crazy it's not doesn't have the much stink on it oh okay

yeah whatever oh you know what motherfucker we got a goddamn uh hold on don't worry about the ad we're worried about we're about six minutes in or whatever I figured like people just went

through six fucking ad reasons yeah yeah hey guys speaking of god when are they going to do a 15 minute ad read in the middle of this yeah yeah we're gonna do something about it we're gonna figure it up oh fuck people keep messaging in me and they they say please one more ad

one more ad yeah yeah I'm chewing ice everybody yeah chew that ice ice yeah yeah some guy fucking what can you do with ice um one thing I did want to tell you

this is badass some cops in Pennsylvania went to serve a warrant up in fucking where they all talk like Bam Margera we're gonna go outside we're gonna yeah

so there's a county up there and they went up to that county to serve a warrant and the guy said fuck all y'all and he fucking drained like four of the cops I think one of them's alive and the other four in what the hospital is calling grave condition

then he blew his fucking brains out I'm not saying that that's cool Is he okay No he blew his brains out So I don't think he's going to make a recovery But the jury's still out I do I do think that if you

People are like I see a lot of guys They're like I'm Come see come to my house And she what happens Like a lot of gun guys say that stuff And then they always like

They die You know Or they just don't do anything If you stand on business And you fucking let send fucking lead down range and a bunch of fucking police officers

and as far as I know the warrant wasn't for anything crazy I think it was for like I mean he was gonna go to jail but it wasn't for nothing crazy I'm waiting for the update on that from the news and I don't have any inside scoops

but I think it was like a minor thing like you get a warrant for a DUI from like four years ago that you never sorted out and then you just kill every police officer that comes to the door it's not like you maybe go to jail for like two months max and you're like nope I'm just fuck all this I'm out of here and you guys are going with me

I think I think like four of them died or some shit which is a tragedy oh fuck sir are you aware that you have violated law and say to Pennsylvania pertaining to these rules and therefore we must take you into full frontal custody sir I'm Officer Garg

I'm only here to help and I talk like this because I was born here in Pennsylvania where they definitely speak in some sort of way that I can't place it is like a it's very

front of the it's cat it's not it's not like that but it is front of the mouth Oh, my balls are huge. And I'm from Pennsylvania. Oh, in Pittsburgh. The police are here. My balls are huge. And I'm from York County, Pennsylvania.

If any of you guys are from fucking York County and you know how the accent is, feel free to send a voice message to Thomas and do your voice for him. Not for me. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear it. I want to hear you speak. fan of Padejo time or potential enemy

who's just listening in to get more intel. I'm going to listen to those cocksuckers tape, Jake and Thomas and see what they've been up to. See what I can use against them. I don't know what kind of blackmail you get.

Kill and hurt, Thomas and Jake. Kill and hurt. Kill them. If you can't hurt. I think it was a Kronenberg movie the other day. I think it was Scanners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a scene where the guys are like, get in the machine.

I want you to get in the computer. I want you to hurt him, hurt him bad. And if you can, I want you to kill him. It made me laugh so hard. In the next few days after, I'd be like, I want you to hurt him bad and kill him. And if you can, I want you to hurt him. Bad.

Hey, man, you step to me I'm going to fucking stomp you out of me I'm going to kill you I'm going to fucking slap you I'm going to hurt you I'm going to cut you And I'm going to fucking laugh in your face man It's like I'm going to be super sarcastic

bro So one part of it I love training day Like it's one of my favorite movies of all time But there's a scene Uncle Tuko Tuko from fucking Breaking Bad is like one of his first roles and then just like some other Cholo actor

and they're playing cards and like Denzel Washington left him there to basically be killed but they go on this like 10 minute rant where he's just like you ever had your shit pushed in white boy oh I've had my shit pushed in real good talking about prison and it was one of those where like I was talking about Blue Velvet one episode two episodes ago

it's like it didn't need to last that long he was like i think have you ever been fucked in prison white boy would have been just fine but tucco was like if you ever fucking oh yeah when they get in there make your poop go higher up your butt Ethan hawk or whatever the fuck uh it's like that's like i don't you think you are Ethan hawk was like i don't need the fucking this doesn't need to be that long man i get it you're talking man you ever have your your ass eating by a guy

It's don't hurt, but it's mad uncomfortable. It's real weird. I went to a prison where they were givers. It's embarrassing, bro. Yes, mostly. It's mostly just... Makes you feel ashamed, man. Whenever you get your booty licked by a guy and you...

You kind of liked them, but you didn't feel like it was time. You'd only been there for three days. It makes a hard to trust, bro. You break your sister's security. man. It makes you feel like all the men in your life are just using you bro. It's like you can't even get like a real

relationship in jail bro. It's like you just want to kiss a guy sometimes man and they don't always take it too far bro. You ever had your nipples sucked by a guy? I've had both of mine sucks and kids. It's like actions that require your consent. It's not talking about

Have you ever kissed a guy? Have you ever had your hair braided by a guy while he kisses your neck? And you turn back and kiss him? Have you ever held a guy's hand while you walk around the yard for two hours? Man, you ever sucked a guy's dick while he was handcuffed? That's what happens at prison homes. That's what happens in prison, bro. You ain't got no choice.

you ever gotten a guy's name tattooed on your lower back as a surprise yeah you wanted to surprise him with an act of kindness and love and dedication to him you ever written a letter to your to your guy friend who's dick you sucked if you ever slept on the bottom bunk with your cellmate even though he has a top bunk man did you ever jerk out one of your friends growing up Like a 12 Yeah 13 or something

Oh man Oh man Oh fuck Man Have you ever watch Call me by your name That's the shit that goes down in prison Bro

You ever watch Saltburn That's what happens When you go to Fucking federal prison Man You ever seen Love Simon bro

like a coming of age story if I remember I remember I remember my mom my mom loves Jim Carrey and she was like wanted to watch a Jim Carrey movie

I think I was like 413 or 14 and my mom is my mom you guys all you know listen to the show She's, you know, religious lady Doesn't really like stuff that's not religious. She loves Jim Carrey

Because it's like nostalgic for it. Anyway, who goes the fuck? We watched us. She threw on, I love you Philip Morris. And me and my mom didn't really know Like what that was about. She likes Ewan McGregor too. So she was like, oh, let's just watch this one.

I think they go to jail together. It's a comedy. And I was like, okay. And then dude, probably like 15 minutes in the movie, Jim Carrey is fucking the hell out of a guy in his butt. And the guy's like, do it, bro. come on my ass and like it's a really

long gay sex scene and Jim Carrey's fucking the shit out of this guy's butt like really and I and like both me and my mom are like shock white uh like dude's just fucking pale white because like I don't I never really me my dad would watch scary movies together or like

he would show me David Lynch movies and stuff but me my mom like we didn't watch anything that was like above the mask like more than PG or PG 13 she just didn't wasn't really that kind of mom so we just didn't read about you know this is before smartphone so we weren't like looking up the movie on our phone or whatever yeah 15 minutes in and he's just dude doggy style in a nasty hotel room fucking this guy in his

butt cheeks and they're both ass naked and uh my mom was like and uh my dad was like I don't know what kind of movie this was he was I don't know Jim Carrey made these kind of movies just he just went up walked outside just like this is a gift movie he wasn't mad he's just like i didn't know he did stuff like yes and just like kind of frown and then walked out of the fucking room with my mom like i guess she'd gotten invested in it so he's like we sat and watched the rest of the thing but she would like if he was ever alone with a guy in jail she would fast forward through it so i miss like and the movie is like half in jail so i miss like so much of the movie so i'd go back and we're watching after but she like if him and you and mcgregor were in the cell together because

they knew they were like together she would just fast forward and you would just see them like kiss or whatever like hold hands and then she would just like go back it was very funny she's just like I will not watch gay porn with my son I will not watch Jim Carrey have sex with me I will do a lot of things with my son but watching gay pornography is where I draw the line

yeah she is it was very funny yeah it's a good movie it's based on true story yeah it actually happened to Jim Kerry. I didn't he's like not a good guy apparently.

Yeah, according to who his dead girlfriend? This dead girlfriend suicide. Oh, I killed myself because actually my super oh, actually, oh, I got AIDS from the guy who played the Grinch. Okay, that's my problem.

Jesus. Oh, the Grinch gave me syphilis. Okay, maybe don't fuck the Grinch then. The Grinch got me addicted to yak and give me... Oh, wow. Yeah, I can't... Oh, the Grinch didn't treat you well? Yeah, he literally stole presents.

The mask didn't treat you well. He was literally eight feet tall and could do magic. He was green with a huge smile. That's a red flag number one. He's been green in two different movies. He's been a green villain. Two different movies. That didn't fucking set you off.

The Grinch didn't tree Good Oh my god Big green monkey Oh yeah Oh my god The guy who's worth a billion dollars And only had five good years of his life

Was addicted to cocaine Yeah the guy from The guy from fucking eternal sunshine In the spotless mind Was like a weird guy I can't I'm so sorry Oh the guy from the Truman show lied

yeah that was the whole movie is he was lying about being the only guy Jim Carrey wasn't a movie called liar liar so I also think that that is he was so you should have seen that coming instead of making a big fucking stink

about it and it is really sad I wish I could have seen it coming she was actually in a movie called a dead fucking lady It's horrible foreshadowing Wow Damn You may know her from a movie

Dead Lady I think RFK Jr's girlfriend or wife Did the same thing Where she was like You won't stop cheating on me And doing fucking pills So I'm out of here

That's alleged I don't know if that's 100% true I'm a soul I, um, I, uh, I, uh, well, um, it has been known that I've been known to have sex with a lot of women and do drugs. And my wife found out and she died. Oh, Robert. What's his little book? I sure wish. You tell me what's in the gallery.

It's nothing, uh, it's nothing, uh, it's just a list of names of, of girls. Some of them are, you know, pretty, uh, just some friends, friends of mine and a couple of dogs, too, that are my friends. Usually when a rich guy has a diary, that's a good thing. Usually says something good in there. I'll read it. There are a lot of Polaroids in there. I don't want you to look at the, you just don't just skip the Polaroids. Maybe he's got a drawing of Mickey Mouse. It's not a drawing of, it's not a drawing of Mickey. It's up

Oh, Robert I love you I'm gonna read your book Oh God I'm not suspicious I sure hope I don't kill myself Oh golly

I sure hope I don't commit suicide But if so Surely I'll be buried In the Kennedy burial grounds So that'll be a plus At least there's no way he can betray me again In death Well, I know about that

There's not a lot of room left That one of us At least he's going to stop fucking 28 year olds when I die About that I'm gonna do it While I'm on Joe Rogan show and while I'm having a kind of a comeback moment, also, there's a nephew of mine that's on Instagram. We're going to have to kill him soon, too, because I think he's some sort of communist. It makes everybody look bad. So if you're going to go ahead and kill yourself, you'd probably want to do that now.

Did you hear he's trans? Is he really? No, I made that up. I'm dead now, so it doesn't matter. Okay, bye. oh my boobies are so big oh Robert my boobies are huge I'm glad you didn't read the

the diary thank you for not reading I didn't I kill myself for no reason I was bored I did I actually got assassinated none of them are normal they said we know how they really get to JFK

we're going to kill his nephew niece-in-law yeah are there any QAnon guys left or have they moved on to the just me they moved on to other things

that was such a fucking big deal man I kind of miss it. I kind of miss the time. 2018 was one of the worst years in my life. Top five, I do believe, yeah. Yeah, 2018. 2018, yep. You were...

I gained 45 pounds in one semester of college. Yeah, I gained almost 100 pounds in like 10 months. It was awesome. And what else? I graduated high school that year. Yeah, that's nice. That's good. I guess that's been my biggest academic achievement ever.

I went to the mental hospital. Wow, what a good feeling that is. It's been almost 10 years. Almost 10 years, that's still what I put on job applications. Oh, my God. some college oh that's okay man i could just hit some college it could be i could have taken

i could have stuck with the six hours of community college i took in high school and never and i would have the same uh same amount of credentials but you know what um whenever we're famous we're going to be laughing about that yeah yeah yeah they're going to say top 10 college dropouts, number one, Elon Musk. Number two. Number two, Bill Gates.

Number three, Thomas White. Steve, Jabs. He dropped out of college, yeah? I think so. Steve Jobs? I don't know. He dropped out of fucking heaven. It's so fucking awesome. He drank so much carrot juice.

He thought he was gay. Yeah, I was going to say it's so awesome to have literally the most money at the time. And then you have infinite resources to cure yourself of cancer. and you just eat fucking beat But you know who else did that? Who? Bob Marley Really?

He died of like toe cancer That I buy though You know what I mean like that Yeah That I mean he fucking I'll be jamming with you He was fucked up in that way But

But Steve Jobs He's got to have fucking people around him You know what I think What I think it is Is people that live in Silicon Valley And work there are not smart this is just a theory that I'm working on

I know that the country kind of sees them as the modern day like you know fucking steel magnets you know Carnegie and all them motherfuckers but I think what it is is I think they're dumb

I think they're really dumb and naive and gullible I was reading here here's something interesting about this there's been a massive cultural shift in and around Silicon Valley and it's not about like hippy-dippy love stuff anymore

they were interviewing this Asian guy that lives there and he was like oh everybody in Silicon Valley now is focused on these things lift heavy run far merry early and eat steak and eggs which is like the life of a carnival strongman from like 1925 like 10 years ago these guys were like

we're gonna fucking solve world hunger and we're gonna fucking ends everybody's gonna be peaceful and then now they're like they're all like deadlifting and fucking like trying to move shit with their mind and they're all fucking stupid shit like dumber than a sack of dogs dicks

and I want them all to die lift heavy run far Mary early eat steak and eggs that's just like what you do when you live in fucking Wyoming I don't I don't understand with people doing that I don't really care right but the problem is is that they're not doing it

because they like it's a thing that you just do they're doing it in order to build their own identity around that shit. You know what I mean? Like, no one gets into stoicism because they want to get a better handle in their life. They get into stoicism because it's like what a man does now, or supposedly what a man does.

Like what they perceive a man to be, eats steak and eggs, reads fucking meditations, or whatever the fuck, and then like deadlifts. Which is hilarious. Because you have all these nerds trying to just get into fucking deadlifting. and they're all getting on TRT

It's so funny For like the first 30 years of your life Like eat a green piece of lettuce And uh Like Microdose mushrooms And then at 30 be like I want to deadlift 500 pounds

I want to eat red meat for every meal And I want to run 10,000 miles And I want to have abs And then all these guys are fucking going to the hospital Because they're fucking soft-ass motherfuckas Their body can't handle it I want to talk Uh, but, uh, yeah.

If you live out there, um, take care of them for me. Just be nice to him. You know what I mean? Go up to him, give him a big kiss. What would your, what would your tenants be? My lifestyle tenants? Yeah, what's your lifestyle? Laugh now, cry later, laugh again, live a lot.

Um, okay. Uh, and then the last one would be, um, um, keep it hard that's it laugh now cry later laugh again live a lot keep it hard

24 7 what about you what are your tenants it's your AI company my AI company sleep sleep slowly wake up fast

blue candy make you got five you gotta have five you gotta have five Yes, this is harder than it seems Hold on, wait, repeat it for me I'm trying to help you out here. What was it? Do you remember?

Slowly wake up fast, blue candy, make it last Five. Here's an ad. All right. E.D. can make you feel out of control. Hymns lets you take it back with personalized treatment options including daily meds that support more spontaneous

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slash PT for your free online visit. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality. Prescription required.

See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Thank you, Hems. No, it's actually coming to me into my mind without even forming. Lime would... Lowe. Lowe. Wow.

All right. Well, that's five. Let me know what you guys think of that. Dude, I had some blue candy today and, um, God, they've still got it. Uh, what kind of candy was it? The nerds clusters. Dude. All right.

I'm not a candy guy. You know this about me? Brother, I got a, I had a, I was filming a sketch. And the sketch required a bag of gummy clusters. When the sketch was done, we didn't need it. for like continuity purposes anymore. I was like, I'm fucking,

I think I've heard a couple things about these. I could not stop. Those motherfuckers are absolutely scrum dittily umptious. They're good. I was ticked with fucking pink. They were so delicious.

I ate the whole fucking bag, dude, was probably like 150 grams of sugar, easy peasy. Yeah, but one of the big bags is only like 500 calories.

Wait, really? That's not crazy for 150 grams of sugar. I'm just guessing, but I know it's probably like a, It's all sugar. Yeah, that's all.

It's just completely made. You could just be eating sugar and a tower of many calories that is basically. Oh, yeah, okay. But, yeah, I mean, not that 500 calories is a small amount of calories. That is a meal. Right. But it's less than you'd think, in my opinion. But it's about, like, eating filet of fish or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, order fries. Which I had today had a double filet of fish with sweet tea. and fridge fries and honey mustard I had some lentils It was not that amazing I had some lentil soup And a couple green apples Oh man that sounds really good

It was pretty good How's the war It's been pretty fucking treacherous man I've been stuck in this trench for fucking Six weeks I've had my lentils Yeah the The fucking

What What kind of war was turkey in? I don't fucking know. The Ottoman War, whatever the fuck is a shit. The Gobolin. The Goblin Ottoman War. Yeah. The Otto Goblin War.

Yeah. Yeah. Turkey. Yeah. The Turkey Ham War. Why did they change the name from Ottoman Empire to Turkey? That fucking sucks. You're asking the right guy. Why did they change the name?

Change name. Nowadays, it would probably be the Otto Women's Empire. Ottoman Empire to Turkey. The name Ottoman Empire was replaced by Turkey, and the country is now known as Turkey. Because the Ottoman Empire collapse after World War I, leading to establish of a new secular and democratic republic known as a Republic of Turkey. Nationalistic effort by the government to break with the imperial past, emphasize Turkish identity and culture, and replace the foreign-sounding names with Turkish ones. I don't know what that means I know the Ottoman Empire was the Roman Empire

basically kind of I don't really fucking know The Ottoman Empire was the Roman Empire The East half Yeah the eastern part of the Roman Empire Yeah When people talk about the Roman Empire falling They're talking about like the West half

That everybody like Thinks about But the eastern half went on for basically If you count the end of World War I guess Yeah it went that But it became It became its own thing. Also, I could be wrong about that.

I want to say that I'm not wrong about that. Well, no, I was 100% wrong about that. That's going to be the Byzantine Empire. Not fucking goddamn Ottoman Empire. I think. Harman Empire was a Turkish Let's be confused with the Sleaps with Teens Empire Headed by Chris Dalia

Yeah Yeah man I like that I like that a lot Oh is he Dude is he fucking He's fully back doing his thing And by back doing his thing

I mean talking to Brendan Shaw If that counts Yeah Um, because, because nobody else was to talk to him. Um, I want to, I have a quick, I want to know something. I want to know what the controversies actually were. With Chris Delia? Yeah, yeah.

He was messaging a bunch of underage girls on Snapchat because he didn't know that you can screenshot and save Snapchat messages. I remember that. And he had girls like getting his name tattooed and stuff. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like married. which I will clarify

him being married probably the least important part of that if you're a single man in your 30s probably still best to not be a pedophile but also if you're married to Christalia I hate to say it but you kind of deserve to be publicly shamed

and you deserve pain in your life because of that but hopefully she's left him Or maybe she's writing his coattails While he hangs out with big names like Brian Callan I don't know Oh yeah I mean all those guys have dope-ass lives

That's kind of the truth of the matter The funniest one is Shaw Because he's not doing comedy anymore And now he's like hanging out with his family And that's like his whole thing He's probably just like a better person now Yeah I remember He's like got bullied into it

Yeah I think there was like a Like an alleged rumor going I remember watching some like comedy podcast with like two girls and they were like alleging that he had like hit on them or something and then he released you don't have to allege that that's a guy who can visibly yeah

that's a man who visibly cheated on his wife a lot you can just tell by a guy's face and how he talks like yeah that's a cheating on his wife oh oh I can't believe this UFC fighter turned podcaster turn comedian this woman that he accidentally got pregnant

15 times is not the highest priority in his life. I can't believe that he exhibits attention-seeking behavior from women. I do like, yeah, I think now that he quit stand-up, what was his special called Tiger Poppy or something? Poppy. Tiger, Poppy Dad. Tiger Daddy. Whatever the fuck. It's funny as fuck to make a special so bad that your friends think it sucks ass and then just quit doing stand-up.

He came out on top, though. Yeah, he did, he did. He went on Joe Rogan. He went on Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan gave him a career. And he publicly, everybody paid attention for like five years. I know. That's the craziest thing.

Like, they were like, okay, let's see it. All right, we'll check out another one. Yeah, yeah, let's see what happens. Yeah, like if, that would be like if every six months I post a picture of my soft penis on Twitter. and I'd say and then I would post you know three months in hey guys probably working on a new picture

of my penis right now I'm probably gonna get some my disgusting balls in there if you guys want to tune in and people would be like well it wasn't a big fan of the last picture but um let's check it out

you know let's let's check it out I'm down to see what you got yeah that's he uh that's cool I think a lot of guys in the circle um get to you know ride the wave or whatever

and then it just never ends up working out I mean it works out real well they're set for life they're gonna work no more but uh um it uh

who gives a fuck I don't know if everybody's set for life like that you know what I mean uh I just I don't feel like most people um who get money

don't immediately spend and that's including me Yeah But who knows It's awesome to be In the UFC And you make like $150,000

Over the course of your whole career Yeah And then you Have a disease in your brain That makes you like hit nurses Like CTE is so crazy It is nuts Did you see Adrian Broner

Went on a camera on a Mesa's podcast? I heard heard about it but I didn't see it I saw I watched the clips he cannot stop hitting on the female coast like yeah he can't talk about anything else yeah and then they're like hey man can you can you not do that and he's like for sure and he's like I didn't know you'd be this attractive in person god you are so fun you look so good and they're like all right man I'm gonna have to ask you to leave yeah yeah you're still gonna pay you for this uh because You can beat all of us up very easily

And Sort of a delicate situation Because it's just two old guys And plaid suits Yeah Super tight plaid suits With fake teeth Arguing with a guy

Who at this point has the brain of a dog Yeah But he could knock you out in one hit Right right Yeah Yeah Adrian Boner What was his thing

Why did he quit boxing Was he just not He couldn't stop being a rock Rock and roll ass motherfucker? I don't know. I think he might have lost a few fights. I think he might have just gotten old. Okay.

Well, because he's 30 or something. He's 36. No, he lost. Oh, he did. He was losing. He was losing. Sometimes those guys stopped training. One of the things that I, like, I do.

That is true. Literally top of the world and they just stop working out. And they just fucking live our lifestyles. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Living our lifestyle. style for even six months will take you out of any sort of competitive shape forever.

One of the things I was literally just about to say so funny you mentioned that is like every I want to say every boxing gym that I've been to worth it salt, like an actual good one. The main coach is either a 5 foot 5, 300 pound Hispanic guy who cannot speak anymore or it's a 5 foot 8 300 pound black guy who can

barely speak anymore. And there's pictures of them all over the gym when they were younger and they're fucking shredded to the gills and they've got belts all over themselves. But they're like, now they're like, yeah, you want to talk about the science is sweet. Everybody want to know how to box, but not a lot of people want to know the things it takes when you're the champion of it and everybody knows how it has to go. And you're like, all right? And then they can show you technique very well.

And then you're like, hey, coach, can you give me some feedback on this? And they'll be like, yeah, the one are you going to want to move your foot out? You have the other one out. And the foot has to be, that's it. And you're like, oh, fuck. Like, this guy can show people how to fight, and he's great. But he didn't, he probably made a little bit of money. But clearly he has a gym, so he didn't make that much money.

So, like, but he still is fucked up like the guys who have money. Like, Mayweather can't read. And I think that's from him not never learning how, but also probably from brain. damage. You know what I mean? Whereas like if you're not Mayweather or you're not like a wealthy guy you're kind of just like, bah and every day is a gift.

They go up after and then like, oh, you are you fucking Chinese people move over to the country? Yeah. It's crazy that CTE does make you racist. They'll talk about a type of, they'll talk about something that's not happening.

Like, there are people illegally coming over the border. You're right, yeah. There's not, they'll talk about somebody that did not. Oh, he's fucking black people moving here from Africa and, and they're taking all the fucking, they're taking all the finance jobs. They're drinking all the purple gatorade at the store. Yeah. Every time there's an elk. There's an elk that moved here.

They only hunt white people. Yeah Every time I go to get the pickle sunflower seeds All they have is a ranch once Justin Gagethe's Always complaining about like Cormia

He's always complaining about like Democrats and like Communists or whatever the fuck And Sean Strickland is You know He's the king of this shit But it's like

Man I can't imagine Actually I do know what it's like If you want to CTE CTE CTE simulators drink about four beers and do a couple keyboard dust your rips and then try to form a political thought

You will be racist for about 10 minutes You will be racist You'll be like that Ugandas will come over here Hanging out of my backyard Jumping on my trampoline Yeah, Jewish people made a new spider Jewish people who got a new spider

It's worse than every other type of spider They're going to bite you on the head We are very, very, very pleased to have Max Holloway here with us, guys. Max Holloway, you had a wonderful career. If you could sum that up in five seconds, how would you sum up your career? You were a battle-hardened warrior and all. Man, every time it would use people make a spider, makes it better than the first one, man. And every time it bites you on the head, makes a red spider.

The Blessed Express, guys. Thank you so much. That's the Blessed Express all the way from Hawaii. Thank you so much. We got BJ Penn. Hawaiian legend. I would you sum up your career five seconds or less, BJ.

Oh. Shit, man. That's it. That's going to be it. That's your time. The pauses that they take, too? It's long, dude. Oh, my.

It sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, man, where's your favorite place to eat in Kansas, here in Kansas City? Uh. Oh, dude. I had burger in Memphis It was real good

Yeah man Kansas got Kansas food He's got real My mama was out of here And she made me a grill cheese Yeah that's right Thank you so much I appreciate that

T.J. Dillishaw Dude, when I was in which Utah, Kansas. There's a, there was an automotive shop. You just remind me of this. There was an automotive mechanic shop called Peniston Automotive, spelled P-E-N-I-S-T-O-N-O-N-O-N-O-O-M-O-O-Modomotive. I fucking was driving to go get beer for the band, and I literally did a U-Turn in the middle of the fucking street to get a gander at it, because I thought I was wiggin out.

It was a big yellow sign. If you didn't get any Wichita heads here, you probably know what I'm talking about. It's not a big city. Peniston Automotive Which I feel like if you're from a small town If you're from a big town And your last name is Peniston

You could probably do stand Like if you're from Brooklyn Your name's like John Peniston That's a crazy funny awesome comedic name You probably do pretty good in the scene Just off the name alone But if you're in Wichita Your name is John Peniston

You've got to change that shit or kill yourself It's not really It's apparently one of the most respected Mechanic shops in the city So maybe they did end up pushing past the name But imagine growing up in the 50s in Wichita Your last name is Peniston I wonder if they're related to C C Cepiniston

Is that a person It's a pop star right C C C Cepiniston Is that real? Like C E C C C Cineston Oh She's from Ohio I think's pretty close

Maybe What is she seeing I was this saying I would assume that Peniston wasn't her real Nah, Cecilia Veronica Peniston Yeah, Peniston is like a surname It's like one of those British names It's a place name

There's a place called Penestown And uh... There's a place for Penestown Penestown, but in the British shorthand That's Penis Town Petun is town Galveston is Galvest Town So there's a place in the UK

fucking stupid and it's the name of the yeah penis so yeah Houston you know how you know whatever

penis in England let me make sure that this is a real thing because I did get the Byzantine Empire wrong yeah penis tin is a town in England

um I just don't agree with that let's just let's change that up why don't we have had enough of Why is it If you ain't from Peniston, just say so

Yeah, yeah Oh, well the British say Penniston But get the fuck out of town This is America I ain't trying to fucking saying all that shit Um We've got a little gang here We call ourselves the penis boys

The Penis-Mex 1-10s The Penis and riders Yeah Yeah We're at M-Max And we come in our shoes The Penison riders

Let's not be from here Go ahead and pull out your money and your penis Where's your money and where's your penis, poor bloke? The bloke's got a proper cock. Where's he from, Pinniston? He's sirked up, go back to fucking London. This is Pieniston, we've got hella Forskin. Oh, dude, get the fuck out of here.

Thomas. The place named Pinniston is first. to test it in the domes day book the domes day book come on oh yeah now we're talking yeah

yeah yeah uh get the fuck out of here a bit of a domes day prep for yeah I'm always ready

to get my shit hog down yeah yeah I got my 200 jaws of as well in the basement in case I need to bust a bunch of fucking nuts out.

Oh, dude. The place name combines the Britonic word pen meeting head with the old with the old English suffolk ton meaning farmstead village or town.

Yeah. I'm from Headtown the first time, first place is the domes day book. What the fuck were the British people on 1100 AD? God damn it.

So I'm not so it's not crazy. Penis tin is just Head town. Hell yeah. New tour date. Yeah, yeah. New tour date.

Penest in. Penest and, um, yeah. Somebody, I remember somebody when I asked them in the city, they said that it, uh,

that, um, they did get print called. They still get print called, but it, it's kind of died down. I remember asking a local and Wichita that uh one of the things that you do when you're like 14 as you call the mechanics

and there's a family mechanic and they've been the mechanic for like 80 years and one of the guys from Wichita was like yeah everybody finds out about it when you're 14 it's like this and the neighborhood and you call them and you're like is this penis in automotive and the guy goes yep and then as the prank caller you don't really have a next move because the guy's like 100 what can I what can I do you for then you have to just kind of go uh uh and then you just hang up the phone but that's just badass to me yeah 100% what can I do you for

this is penis and automotive how can I service you the penis and baronets was a royal family fuck yeah dude

man I'm having so much fucking fun hey if you're British if you're English um you got y'all have some cool ass stuff we kind of fucked y'all's language up Sheep sales have been held in the town since before 1699, when the market received a royal charter in the area produced the now rare penist in sheep. Oh.

One of the first animals you can fuck. These sheep are not bred for the war, nor they're mutton. They're strictly to bang. Shagging sheep goes back generations. All the way back to the dumbstay. book of 186 oh yeah more

you can take the pinniston line all the way to silkstone damn I like the writing the pinniston line all the way of silk stone ever since I was a boy

I go all the way I go from the pen I go from penit I go from penitin all the way to silkston I'm tired of all these performative males reading reading the dumpsday book on the Misson Express on the way to Sook Stone. Mm-hmm.

Uh. They have a St. John, the Baptist Church. Uh. Ooh, Peniston Grammar School. For children. Very awesome. Great. Just the direction.

We were all hoping this would go in. Peniston show is an annual agricultural show. It is held on the second Saturday in Peniston. As well as ordinating agricultures for penist and sheep, penist and cows, and penest and goats and poultry. Injuries are received in penis. They even have Penest and Pigeon Shows. Fuck yeah, man. That's so badass.

There's a twin town called Grindivik Iceland. What does Grindivik mean? I don't give a fuck about any of this. Yeah, grooms his dick, more like... Yeah, I'm from fucking dick at Ballsland, Texas. Grooms' dick. From Grum's his dick, I sleep. Grooms his dick, nice gland.

Yeah, my buddy's from Peniston, and I'm from Grooms' Dick, Nicecland. Yeah, I'm writing the silky express or whatever all the way from Peniston to Grooms' Dick. Yeah, I'm writing the fucking The Penestine line all the way to Silkstone Silky Stone Fucking

Borebjorn To fucking dude Y'all are fucked up I'm just going to say The Scandinavian languages Um You can't say this about like You know,

Erdo or anything Because it's not nice But y'all got some Y'all be having some made-up ass shit Grenda Vickenberger Grenda Vigandiginjurvind you see Yeah, bud Svartsegi power station

I'm just reading shit I'm just reading shit on Wikipedia at this point Um Large sticky power station Yeah Um It was probably cool as fuck to be a Viking But Marge Simsi

Marge Simsi power station Yeah I fuck with that pretty heavy And you'd be liking that type of shit Um Anyway What other fucking My other stuff is in the news That guy killed a bunch of motherfuckers in Pennsylvania

I think that kid that Charlie Kirk is getting a death penalty. If you've been sending me different videos and, like, YouTube walk-throughs and stuff about the conspiracy, I just want you guys know I'm retired. I'm done. I gave up on trying to go the rest of my life,

or at least like a month with no noiding. No more conspiracy stuff. So if I've just left, I've just read it and I haven't seen it, don't think that I'm not, it's not a personal thing. I just don't want to read any more about murdering children or like to you know it just doesn't really been a good uh round of discourse i gotta say now it hasn't it hasn't i'm not big on uh i don't know i it's i don't have

a problem with people making jokes i just don't i don't really i haven't really found many of them be funny uh it's it's not like it's not like i'm like oh my god the secret moment or whatever i just I don't really Yeah Just haven't been Mostly hasn't been winners The only one that I saw That actually got me good was

Call me Charlie Perk I got the 30 in my throat That one I think Shrether had the best one He said He said September 10th A day that will live in infamy That's pretty good

He's a sleeper He's always got the best one now I people were like one of the things everything that's been said about has been said and I tried to avoid it because they don't want to fucking like whatever but the one thing that I do

find bizarre is is it I will say this right now Trump does not give a fuck at all about it I saw like a video of him like dancing like the night it happened at a different event and then somebody asked him about it and he was like it's very sad by the way

I've got a new ballroom which is hilarious It's like, if a guy that I liked got his fucking shit split, you know, I would at least give it a week or two, you know. But a lot of the stuff I've seen is definitely, like, people are buying into the grift. Like, they're making it, like, people that knew him personally are like, buy this shirt that says, we are Charlie. Buy this coffee mug that says, you know, Charlie forever. 100% of the proceeds will go to me. Not even just family.

It's a 150% of the proceeds. for his family is funny too because he's so rich yeah yeah yeah I mean like they're like okay guys we got a Kickstarter going it's like Kickstarter money yeah kickstarter yeah what this is it means

nothing dude the guy that turned his uh that son in some random guy yeah just give yeah give it to the guy that asked him the last question before you fucking ended up no longer here his dad the guy's dad that fucking his dad turned him in

And when they went to give him the million-dollar reward, he said, give it to the wife. I guess that that's admirable or whatever, but you're not catching me doing that shit. If I give my firstborn and my only son up to the fucking Federales, you best believe I'm cashing a big check. Oh, yeah. That Mercedes. Yes, sir. Yeah, yeah. A million dollars.

A little cat with a brand-new adopted son. Adopted Chinese son and a hellcat. A Chinese black son and a hellcat. Six-old bottom of a hellcat. I put the car seat in the fucking goddamn driver's seat Black News son Won't you come

My other one was gay Black new son Won't you come Drive the car Yes In my mind Indispose getting shine going

They're going to give them a death penalty It looks like Which whatever You know I don't know Bright blue tongue In the sun Fun popsicle day

Bright blue tongue Ice cream truck Yumbs away Boiling heat Son won't stare Eating my ice cream over there Black Yeah

Bright blue tongue On my son Gave him Blueberries Anyway, you guys can come up with your own versions Yeah, yeah We'll give you ten seconds This is

This will be good Nice I think you get, Cardi B is in the news. What did she do? Oh, girl, she's pregnant. Fucking swag. She just broke up with Offset, and she already having a baby with Stefan Diggs, and he allegedly has three, two or three other children on the way with other women as well.

Beautiful. Beast. Beast mode. Yeah, more like Stefan Diggs and that pussy. Great. All right. That'll be the end of the episode. I think you.

Yeah. Thank you. for listening. Check out patreon.com slash Pendeo time for all of your for all of your podcasting needs. Toss us a little bit of cheese if you like to show. I would love to hit a thousand paid subs by the end of

the year. Stefan Diggs and that but okay very good and last call well not last call you can buy tickets at the door but next week we'll be on tour in the Midwest for the Great American Steel Tour 25th 26 and 27th we will be in Milwaukee, Chicago and

and Detroit so come hang out with us come have a good time tickets will be cheaper online by the way they're like five bucks more at the door yeah buy tickets online please and then yeah it'll be cheaper than at the door like about five bucks as thomas said i don't have any other spots besides those because i've not been messaging bookers so thanks for listening you guys until next time see you soon if you're in the midwest bye