Pendejo Time - Mind Porno

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

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I've been anyway. Yeah, so I was discussing That that song it's like oh The Wiz Khalifa version I like it because Because of I mean the vibe, you know is nice. It's nice. It's like you're you know a party, you know, ten years ago or whatever 2016 yeah, but My favorite part of it is he he goes in I'm addicted to champagne Like that's part of the chorus that he makes Yeah, which I really like some I like somebody saying I'm addicted to champagne.

Yeah. So like going to AA and be like, yeah, I was like, I was popping bottles of champagne like every day. It was like becoming a problem. Like I would ball, I would like get bottle service at the club and like all the bad bitches would be in my section. Like I think I was addicted to like dropping like 50 bands in the club and it just being nothing

You know what I mean? Like I think I might be addicted to like high dollar champagne Like real champagne not like sparkling white wine. I mean like from the region of France. You know what I mean? Like champagne like real shit. You know what I mean? You're like going directly after a guy who just talked about how he was like drinking like, rotgut whiskey and like ran over his... Yeah. And had to do like 20 years in federal prison. You're like, yeah, all that shit probably like, I'd probably be pretty depressed too

if I was drinking like, Kentucky Deluxe or whatever, but like I was addicted to like really nice bottles of champagne and having awesome sex with with really like like fit Yeah I would have orgies with like crazy bad bitches and then I would wake up and I'd forgot I even did it because I Banked so many of them and then I sometimes I would just find like big stashes of money Yeah, I like honestly I'm really only here cuz like I have to be here for court But like I don't really I want to make something clear

I don't want to change anything about my life You guys need to for sure cuz you like don't have any money and you're addicted to stuff but like I have like so much money in my life is so awesome and My house is really big and it has air conditioning like in every room and like all of my cars are paid for. I know John you just said you lost your house and your car because you were homeless for a while. That's honestly like nobody wants to hear all that bro. You know what I mean?

Like nobody wants to hear that shit. They want to hear about my life because like I'm a big baller and like I get a lot of money and like you know I drink a lot of really high dollar. Probably like, how much you make in a year? Oh, like 20, 30 thousand? That's fucking crazy dude because I went to do my, the reason that I'm here right now is I got DUI. But that night at the club I spent five times your yearly salary on just champagne because

I'm crazy addicted to it and I'm crazy addicted to this like crazy sexual like money-getting lifestyle I have and and so yeah that's why I'm here but your life shit that fucking sucks dude you should quit drinking for sure you should probably like I don't know like rethink everything about yourself I know you're 62 but you know like a reinvention you'd really could use that I'm I'm 28 and my whole life's ahead of me, and I'm fucking I got like hella money and like hella bitches But yeah for sure you guys have it really bad here. You guys need to make some changes. I will not be making any Yeah, okay, thank you whiz

Thank you I'm going to hi, my name is whiz But addicted to champagne I'm whiz yeah hi whiz Wait are you whiz Khalifa? Sorry we don't do full names in here There's the anonymous part of it Yeah, I'm whiz I'm addicted to champagne and popping bottles and rolling up at the College dorms and all the bad college bitches being on me, but all of them are When I perform this song later, it'll be all the 25 year old girls It'll be all the grad students that I'm rolling up with. That's gotta kind of be awkward for like rappers who you know kind of start to

get a little more self-aware as they get older. Yeah. And then they like like Rick like Rick Ross has to think about it sometimes you know what I mean like when he's doing a song from when he was younger But it's crazy cuz like he blew up like in his 30s, too. So he was like, yeah he was like 36 talking about like Yeah, like I put a Molly in her drink. She don't even know it. Yeah Yeah, I can't imagine like like I guess he was just done He was I mean, it's not like your brain developed so

Like to a crazy degree after that age you know what I mean. I don't think he Yeah, I mean you could chalk it up to like the musical like like some of just the musical subject matter of Like you know like we're young we're reckless like we're getting fucked up whatever, but one of my favorite reckless, like we're getting fucked up, whatever. But one of my favorite lines of that, where you like, dude, if you wanna go and take a ride with me with three, dude, that's a great song, right? It's a classic, certified hood classic, forever, timeless. But there's a line in there that's like,

she could be 18, 18 with an attitude, 19. Dude, Nelly was like 30 something. All the dudes on that track were like and but I Remember I brought this up one time and somebody was like, oh, yeah, but that song was like from forever ago I was like that song from like 2000 and I get it. It was like 2000 2001 2002 something but I'm like I I completely agree. It is crazy. That was like 23 years ago. Yeah

Like that doesn't seem like it should be like 2009 shouldn't be that long ago. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like What people like 15 years ago? What's that? Oh, yeah, cuz I was yeah, yeah, I was well I just 15 years old. 24 minus 9, so that would be, yeah. 13? You made it way more complicated than you had to. Yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah. But anyway.

No, like, all of the, when people do it, people really do it to Drake a lot cuz it's like You know cuz of like a the beef and B. He's just he kind of has a good face Yeah, cuz he's Canadian cuz he's black Yeah High school picks you was even bad then that's probably like That one just came out like five years ago, too. Which is that's nice That would just came out like five years ago, too, which is that's nice

That one like that one. You're saying a woman can't be beautiful until she's a certain age I think all women are beautiful at every age really too There is beauty in life at the age of two Okay, but I very nice. You know I don't know that I Got you boxed in yeah, well try trying to juke me well I'm thinking about there's beauty in life at the age of two folks straight out of the mouth of You think there's not you want to kill babies I? Don't think this is you want to kill babies. I don't think there's anything cool about being two.

Really? I think being two sucks. I think being two is awesome. If I could be two again, I would. You know why? Because it would make dying further away. That's true. Yeah, very good point.

Yeah. And then I'd go goo goo ga ga. And then I would kiss my own feet and stuff like that all day. Yes. Yeah Yes, I forget the babies do stuff like that like they just put their foot in their mouth And then their hand in their mouth and everything it's crazy that they do that. I mean I get it It's their first time being around and stuff, but like If I had a kid I wouldn't be sure when they're supposed to stop that stuff I Feel like yeah, yeah, because if like a two-year-old like is putting his hand in his mouth. I'm like yeah, he's two

But like if an eight-year-old is doing it. It's like all right. No, you're not supposed to be doing that anymore I don't think like not in front of people but then like when in between is it that like you can't be like Taking your shoe off and biting it or something? Mm-hmm. So what, like four or five? I don't know. I remember I asked my mom, because she had me really young, and I remember asking her,

how did you know about being, how did you like know about like being like how did you figure it out she's like oh like we lived with your grandma like my mom for like for and I kind of remember that when I was like four or five like we lived in a living room or whatever but I asked her I was like how did you know about like when to you know she's like I don't know most of just your grandma figured it out I was working at Sonic is like a roller skating girl and I had this like funny mental image of Mike my mom bringing like milkshakes to people in like 1994 and then my incredibly racist like fat sleepy grandma just like

I'm sucking on my own toes and like eating pennies and shit she's like I know it was never a finger-sucking kid But like I used to just put coins and shit in my mouth way past the expiration date I when you're supposed to do that coins bottle caps. I was like that looks like it might taste good I'm gonna get a little sample of this And it would be like a metal or like a poison or something because I just never I was just like You know I was just curious. That's kind of like how a wet dog would sniff something I was like what does this taste like yeah, it would be like a piece of wax or something

Yeah, piece of string yes, you're saying you'll pretty much just put anything in in your mouth Yes, and then one just curious yeah Just just curious to see like the shape of it and you know kind of like if it fits in there Yeah, yeah, I hope you're not trying to imply anything sort of grotesquely sexual because this is about me as a boy You think it's not about the homosexuality is grotesque. I think we do you think homosexuality is grotesque. I think it's beautiful Yeah, I said it got it How about that? I'd like to think about it actually.

You don't, cause you're homophobic. I'm thinking about it right now. You're thinking about gay sex right now? I win. I'm so woke and so much of an ally, I'm thinking about gay sex right this second, brother. Yup. Now you are too, now we're both thinking about it.

Now the people at home are we'll think about it to six 60 guys on 60 guys just like a centipede Butts and ass and nuts and balls yes Second a fucking it's like a You know I got LGBT Pride rally or whatever like I'm an ally everybody. I'm thinking about gay sex right now or Pride rally or whatever like I'm an ally everybody I'm thinking about gay sex right now thinking about it right now and it's awesome and I approve of what's happening sort of conceptually in my mind I don't I'm not revolved by it

just imagining it like a megaphone everybody I'm thinking about gay sex now and it's awesome it's it's fine mentally speaking it's good It's uh It's fine mentally speaking. It's good It's nothing to me When I when I'm sleepy I go where the pillow is pillow is I don't know this is so Always running up to beds taking a sleepy sleep Always running up to beds taking a sleepy sleep All in all and all we are sleepy boys take my rest use my pillow and my blanket every night. I am blessed Time to go and dream

Sleeping on bed frame Tried to Look at my bookshelf, text goodnight to friends. We are always sleeping where the pillow is, pillow is always making up our bed. That is where the pillow is. Z's and Z's and Z's and we are sleeping in, sleeping in. Never waking up. I'm just, um, um, I'm just sleeping in. And it's, and it's, and it's, uh, cozy-Z. Thought I'd never sleep. And then I went me meet

Now I'm changing into bed Living in a house where I go to sleep and lay my head We are always sleepy and we're chilling and Chilling in living in my bed. I like to sleep in sleep in You got it yeah sleep Sleeping you sleep I did is the where it says on and on and on Oh, oh yes, yeah, I'min sleepin. We are sleeping out sleep again

Never sleeping down. I'm just asleep of what's in sleep of me This this version is asleep now to sleep I can sleep To sleep I can That's how that part is right Yeah, yeah To blankets become bed. I can sleep here on

my mattress I'm a sleepy bug. I'm where the pillow is pillow is cozied up. I'm in my PJs and I going sleepy sleep 90 90 90 90. Hey, goodbye. Hey, goodbye sleepy sleepy yummy for a boy. Good time boy. Good time Sarkis feet Night time for Sarclus fate I Am always taking my melatonin melatonin I Am always taking my Z equal Z equal putting on my sleeping cap and getting into my little bit Man when that song dropped I thought I would never die I thought I would live forever And I'm addicted to nap time

Let's see what we got here. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh a bit, little bit, getting in bed, take a sleep, feeling tired, feeling night, 2 AM, nighty night. Uh eyes not peeled, they are closed in my bed. I'm doing my sleep Yeah, that's about what I got in Okay, okay No go for it you got this Sitting in my bed very tired living my life seeing my dreams people might tell me to wake up I'm screaming out I'm very tired I'm gonna sleep getting in bed no turning back if I'm asleep please don't call I am very sleepy man if I sleep please don't text no I'm sleeping missed your call I'm on

the pursuit of sleepiness and I go to my bed when I'm tired it's gonna be good hey I'll wake up when I need to I'll wake up what you think of that one I thought that was good thanks man let's see tell me what you know about dreaming dreaming. You don't really know about Sleeping sleeping tell me what you know about nighty night every night going to bed normal hour waking up feeling refreshed Okay All right. I got one two. Oh, yeah, go for it, man

snored all of my bed. Snored all in my bed. Snored all in my bed. Don't believe me, just nap. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, don't. Don't believe me, just nap. Don't believe me, just nap. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, don't believe me, just nap. Don't believe me, just nap.

Snored all in my bed. snored all of my bed Snored all for my nap Snored all through nap time time. Don't believe me just sleep sleepy sleepy sleepy Well, you know You know, I've been doing okay so far translating but it turns out every single line has Has a soft a in it for the rest for this next verse I'm just I don't think I can just say translate in real I don't think I can do this in real time no I don't think so I think I'm just gonna pick a different

song now that I look at what the first verse is you know I just don't I feel like I'm too sleepy to not Our kids I can spell sleepy I'm asleep be Fredo awake Tato. He's awake to sleepy My bitch just stay sleepy damn. I hate being awake. I hate being awake Damn, I hate being awake. I'm asleep be Fredo. He's awake potatoes awake, too But we can't spell awake Yeah, there's a lot of n-words in this one, too. I think I need to Lot of n-words and this one I'm I'm sleepy

When I'm very nice nice All right stop, please don't wake my alarm clock I'm very nice nice sleepy All right stop, please don't wake my alarm clock. I'm very sleepy and I gotta go night night Deadly when you wake me up. I need a nap and I need my sippy cup. I Took that one Draven the Dom. I just kind of remembered that one. No you killed it. You killed it. I was I was Thanks, man I'm not asleep. I'm not asleep. I'm going to bed. I'm not asleep I'm not asleep I'm going to bed I'm going to bed everybody everybody I'm sleepyhead I'm sleepy sleeping now together very warm very sleepy it's the norm to go bedtime when it's night when you sleep so good you're like a bug cuz you're tight. Mmhmm tight yeah okay very good.

So bugs keeps a bug sleeps tight. Very very very awesome. And snug. Young Chopin asleep. I'm not asleep I'm not asleep to go to bed Sleepyhead man, that's really good You want to do a different Eminem song you want to do rap go but it's about nap How about nap God? Yeah, that one's too quick. I don't remember actually how it goes cuz I don't think I actually ever listened to it

Too quick, and I don't remember actually how it goes because I don't think I actually ever listened to it All right, let me see I'm beginning to feel like a nap God nap God all my people from this bed to the going to the net nap time Where's my blankie I got no blankie in my bed, bro. There you go. Yeah Have you ever been sleepy or very tired again? I have I've taken naps and I've been sleepy my friend Sleepy signs in my sleepy eyes. Look at the time. It's time for bed. I'm the motherfucking sleepy kid. That's behind All all this blankie and pillow run deepest oceans exploding Really? He has a really a way with words. It's hard to do I'm a little bit of a cranky and pillow run deep as oceans exploding. Really? He has a really a way with words. It's

hard to do his cadence. I guess that's what it is. That's M and that's cleaning out my closet. Oh yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been sleepy or a sleepy little my friend? I have. I've been a nighty night boy every night. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm napping I am sleepy never meant to wake up every night meant to sleep in then it's awesome time I'm sorry I'm napping I am sleepy went to bed

and had a sleepy night then I woke up and it's wakey time yeah okay yeah I like that one Caroline Caroline she's the reason for the word bed. Bed. I love you. Melatonin, I'm getting sleepy. Droopy my eyes and I'm going EP. I really need to catch some Z's and I got to rest my eyes today. I have two holes in my head in their eyes and they're sleepy Back on my bed, and it's so nice to be going nap a nighty night, and I am Tommy

But they just want to take my blankie way there. We go, okay, okay. Yeah, all right, I got you now, yeah. I put a hole in a blankie with my pee-pee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Put a hole in my blankie with my peepee Very very good this thinking of like 50 cent like in bed We're just like like you're staring at him and use you're at the edge of the bed If you can see his eyes and just his dick's out the blanket his toes are out too. Oh Man, that's awesome Anyway, I like rap music. It's probably like, it probably saved my life.

Yeah. I remember thinking. It was like a rescue dog for me. It was like who saved who? Did I save rap or did rap save me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dude, that's probably one of my least favorite bumper stickers I

Don't know why I just whenever I see like who rescued who on the back of like a Hyundai or something I'm just yeah, you probably suck You probably suck Yeah, I Remember I saw I like that the dogs get punished with bad owners like that You like that the dogs? Yeah, like an emotionally sort of the dogs like the dogs like wish they could live on the street again They wouldn't have to be around like somebody who's on that much pros act Yeah, making them wear like amas sweater and shit and fuck yeah

Feeding them like whole ass yeah big max and stuff people only ever rescued dogs that kill people I've seen like one rescue chihuahua ever the rest are the fucking scariest dogs. I've ever seen they're like oh don't worry He's a rescue so like he sucks more Dogs I've ever seen they're like oh don't worry. He's a rescue so like he sucks more Good that it's good that they're getting rescued, but like people who have never had a dog before like oh, yeah It's a rescue kind of course. So he was beaten severely and I'm like I'm glad that he was rescued You're the one who rescued him. Yeah, you you're you're like pudgy Kind of a pussy You couldn't rescue a fucking you want something aggressive you want to rescue a Jack Russell terrier to start it out with you know

What I mean, they're they're mean, but they're Yeah, oh, yeah, you know he was I'm a good person so this dog can't kill me now Yeah, yeah, he can't he we're training him off leash It's just how we're training him dude people do that here They will have fucking 200 pound dogs off leash And they will yes leave human sized shits on the ground and it's always those people Who happen to forget a leash and a doggie bag? Yeah, that's Austin to man like there was, I've talked about it before on here,

maybe it was just like stand up bitters, I don't remember, but, there was like a pandemic of like little, yeah, like girls like fucking athleisure, like soul cycle type women. And they were getting these like big drug dealer dogs, like big brats, yeah, like big connie corso's you know big bully pits like just big-ass fucking dogs rescuing them from APA the Austin the non-kill shelter right no kill shelter here we're just

getting them from breeders and dude every fucking Sunday you'd go to brunch with some friends you go get some food after a night out you're just trying to eat your fucking chicken drink your fucking Bloody Mary And there'd be this snarling fucking piece of shit like right And the lady would be like tubby no tabby sit and tubby doesn't give a fuck about her dude Tubby wants to kill tubby's ready to die tubby's ready to go at all times because tubby like you said Thomas was like thrown down the stairs by Like a kid with silver teeth his whole life,

like his whole puppy, his whole puppyhood, he was just beat down and fed fucking wood shavings. So Tubby then went to dog prison and came out and got rescued by like a 95 pound marketing major who lives in a fucking 500 square foot apartment in West Campus by UT. And then she brings him to places, you know, she brings him to the fucking, to the Torchies, fucking to the torches and she's like this is this is blabby

Bubby is a rock kind of course I mix He's a big boy. Ain't you blubbie and blubbies like You know cuz blubbie doesn't respect his woman because if he wanted to he knows that on an animalistic level he could kill her So he doesn't know why he thinks about it every day. You know Yeah, but dude the no leash thing is that really I don't even mean to sound like a fucking Karen or whatever but like that You want to know leash you're like shitty fucking Bichon freeze your pomeranian be my fucking guest If it's a dog they can kill me yeah Yeah, we would consider that one yeah put it on a dog that can kill me? Yeah. Maybe we reconsider that one.

Yeah, put it on a big ass chain. Like a steel chain. I feel like they're just gonna grab a kid and just run off with it like a bird. Yeah. I know most of the time they don't do that. But, um, still like, yeah, that's one of my-

The pit bull thing, man, is like- I don't get mad when I see people just walking in their pit bulls on a leash like Yeah, they're walking them, but like don't fucking not have a leash Yeah, in this in this setting where it's literally New York City There's sounds this is a middle of fucking Brooklyn. Yeah Well even at a dog park dude like people I Brooklyn. Yeah. Well, even at a dog park, dude, like people,

I think people have this in their head that if you've got a big fucking poorly trained, mean ass motherfucking hellhound, that if you're in a big dog park that you can no leash that son of a bitch. I think the rules still apply. If you've got a big son of a bitch, that's like rowdy, you got to leash his ass even in the dog park. Because we used to go to this dark park off Riverside and we would take Dolly. Dolly's not a rowdy girl Dolly's old fat. She wants to go sleepy. She wants fucking peanut butter treat. She wants to go fucking night night and There's yeah big-ass drug dealer dogs owned by these people that are just like playing fucking

On their fucking phone and this guy's just chasing babies and dogs around He's playing but like you know you I, you I know what you're talking about. Those dogs go from playing to not fucking around like, you know what I mean? Like they're just, you know. They're scary. So just don't, you know, people like, oh, we're in the dog park, so you can take them off leash. Wrong. Wrong. That dog needs to be wearing like a bomb vest.

And if he gets too far away from you, it goes off. But just kills the dog. Not else my two cents yeah I was doing some work for a guy who had a couple of giant dogs or whatever and they were well trained or whatever this is out in the country but apparently if something ran away from them they would just chase and kill it And that like couldn't be trained out of them, okay? So anything that just ran away they would just go and kill it He was like yeah, they're really well trained and then I was like that doesn't really sound like

Sounds like maybe the one thing you want to train dog's dogs and not kill on not kill maybe train them not to kill would be good I I know that the guy's grandson was also like five and just running around everywhere and I was just thinking man this is oh dude yeah I don't when people you go over and you hang out people friends got kids or like distant family members our cousin I haven't seen in a long time But he just had his two-year-old baby like running around the house and like Fucking around with their big like mastiff mix that they got from the shelter from like the Houston animal shelter

And this thing was cool like he was a cool nice big boy But like the baby would go and grab the dog's tail, and the dog would go, like, but a playful one. But I just, dude, like my spine tingles just thinking about it because I'm like, ah, you know what I mean? Like the baby was like, ah, and grabbing the dog would go, oh. And I'm like, that could turn into a very different type of, oh, very quickly and there's nothing anyone can do before it went bad.

Nothing. Like that dog's head is the size of a cinder block. The guy that you're talking about, like, by the way, the way that people talk about their like clearly poorly trained psycho animals is I feel more comfortable around somebody if they're like, hey man, they've got a dog in the leg or a dog park. Guy's got a dog in a leash.

And he's like, hey, he's a little, he's a little fe feisty so I'm like oh, yeah, I'll take the dog around the corner I trust that guy cuz he knows I'm always way more wary of like like a Younger like early 20s girl or just like kind of like a smarmy dude. That's like fluffy so friendly You can bring him in and fluffy's like yeah, but you know what I mean like not yeah Nothing about fluffy is nice, and you're like I don't think I want to be anywhere around fluff I think I'm good you guys have fun here though like but

What I'm trying to say um we love dogs Everybody loves them, and I feel like sometimes if you say that some dogs aren't good that people automatically You know what I mean like the pitbull thing is the most common example, but yeah like I I Don't know. I don't know as much about dogs as some people. I don't mean it like like I mostly I don't know I'm not even like anti big dogs being around kids necessarily. It's just like the not like they're not training them and not Well, that's what I'm yeah, not leashing them and shit. I'm like, alright, what do you what do you best case scenario? What do you think is gonna happen? You know what I mean? I feel like most piss what I'm saying I was like, I feel like they'll be like no, don't worry. I like yell at it. So

Yeah, that's what I'm saying People you have to like yell at it and then like hit it on the nose. That's how you train a big dog I'm like, I don't I understand you have to assert dominance. It doesn't seem like you've done that at all No, like a dog fucking Once you know that you just feed it if you forgot to feed it one time it would eat you Like within like six hours it was just EU yeah, not even kill you just eat your leg and yes have to go to the hospital That's what I'm talking about Yeah, yeah, not even kill you just eat your leg and yes have to go to the hospital That's what I'm talking about I feel like most people don't most people have shit going on and that's fine like nothing against Pete like I'm busy

Like I'm I'm privileged and I work from home. I have to show I can train Hank You know we spend time with him or whatever and he's been getting better. He was like. He's just a big puppy whatever but most people to your point like most people work dude, and they're tired like you go to her friend's place. Yeah, and he's like this is fucking Doug I Train Doug fuck I pinch his ears, and I saw this guy on YouTube He pinched his ear, and he goes and his ears and that tells Doug to chill That's not working man Doug

Doug's 120 pounds of just pure fucking Doug, you know, Doug's gonna fuck you dude Hank tried to fuck me we had to put a stop to that That was a fun little era You had to yeah, it's like the the cigarettes thing. Yep The dog tries to fuck you you make the dog finish inside you 20 times In a row so his wiener hurts so bad. He never wants to bang you again Trying to explain that to my family yeah, you know we we did a jacket Telling off 20 times in a row so you wouldn't fuck me anymore

Yeah, you know how with a kid they touch a stove you know you make them touch the stove a bunch So they burn their hand up and it and they're scarred forever Yeah, we made the dog have sex with everybody in the house You know 20 30 times How what happens? What do you think happens to somebody that they choose to let a dog fuck them? Like what do you think happens to them mentally? To that place probably a bunch of bad stuff. I'd say Yeah, I don't think the childhood can be great now

I like to think that it well I don't like to think there had to be at least one guy who had like a pretty normal life and it was not mentally disabled Yeah, and did it Just I feel like I feel like a lot of people who do stuff with animals Yeah, literally like very low IQ. Yeah It seems that I've never seen somebody a mugshot of somebody who did it. Mm-hmm and been like what? somebody who did it and been like what that's saying all people with mental disabilities to do it I think it's just I think you got to have something in your brain that that does not like I feel like most people have something in their

brain that's just like a block yes a misf it's a misfire. Or they can do like, they can do like just about anything except that. Like there are way more people who would murder another person than who would have sex with a dog, I feel like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like I feel like I could kill somebody in self defense in a horrible adrenaline situation,

and then obviously I would feel terrible or like but I think like in the heat of the moment or something like in an exchange I think I could see that happening. Yeah you could make that call. You know like I don't want to and I would also like probably like start crying immediately and then I would just kill myself or something. Anyway but I don't want to seem I'm not like fantasizing about it But I'm just saying like I think the part of my brain probably exists. Uh-huh. Yeah for sure

I don't think the part of my brain exists where You could where I could do we're like even with like a gun in my head I think I would just be like I I'm gonna go back down. I think I'm just I think I'll just I think I would rather die then yeah then access that part of my brain Thomas that's I'm glad that you're yeah glad that we know that but I mean there's guys like you who can really do anything and that's great you know you got great we know that should be you know what that should be that's probably how you become the vice president It's not to become the president you probably have to have like qualifications or whatever But to become the vice president they just make you fucking dog. Yeah, JD Vance is like I've done this before yeah, we're good. Yeah

anyway But if I was going to be a big-ass sexy dog prolly, you know, I mean It would be a girl dog to and not on any gay shit either Be the first dog with a bbo You're just like hey, yeah like we could I was like fuck this animal was gotta be a girl don't know no Like just a homophobic I got boundaries man I'm like I don't think I get ever ever even with a gun in my head do any gay shit Bro I

Like guys like it's in the Bible, bro, you can't be doing that Bro, you can't be doing that Bro if you put your bro you put your dick in a man's as you're crazy, but like Like man that's bad too like if it's a guy dog Yeah, anyway, yeah, I'll probably never do anything like that Yeah, it's fun. Did like sometimes like conversations that you and I have and I have with friends it's like You put things into perspective when you're joking because you're like I've been to some weird places in my life, and I've you know Been like dark spots mentally and you know like things like I fuck some friends over you know some shameful things, but I've never in my life

Never in my life have I gotten to a spot like mental health wise where I'm like you know what sounds good fucking goat ass dude Mean like I've had straight full-on episodes of psychosis, bro Like I've like received messages from the TV Like you know fucking two three days no sleep going crazy, whatever I've never bright is honest a hand to God on the good brother I never I've never been on like a bender man or like or just like Having like an episode and been manic and be like I gotta go outside, I gotta fuck a cat, dude.

It's never happened to me, man. And that's good, like that's good. But it makes it, what I mean by perspective is like, dude, it's, that's, being on the computer like you and me are, I realize is way more common than you might think. You may have been on the computer a long time. And in the time I've been on the computer a long time and in the time I've been on the computer

I've seen so much and heard about so much of that and you don't eat you don't look for it But you're like some fucked up friend of yours sends a group chat messages like check this out And you're like didn't need to see that that ruined my week And then you know two three months goes by and it's the same concept different lady different dog or a different guy Different fucking pig or whatever you know Yeah, I mean morally You know from a from a morals perspective Yeah, you would want it to be the biggest animal possible

Okay right why I Want you to walk that out well because it would cause the least amount of physical damage Okay, see I you'd be hurting you were going on I thought you were going the other way with it where you'd want the biggest I was like explain to me why it has to be no Okay Okay with that

From if you're on the receiving end Ideally, I would say Yeah, maybe like a raccoon Yeah, a raccoon would probably really hurt your back. It would probably call your back. Yeah for sure It's a fucking by him by you and stuff Getting your rabies shot and you just have back shot marks all over you Go to the doctor like I think I need my shots. You just go yeah Looks like you have possum DNA all over you yeah, I don't

Was playing soccer and a possum somebody somebody kicked a possum into the ball and landed on me my penis Let's see yeah, I mean maybe like Maybe like a whale, you know, I mean like if you're gonna if you have to If somebody had a imagine you're a pirate, right? And they say you can either walk the plank or you can make Romantic love yeah, which he sent To with this blue whale Which you would be like a barnacle on a blue whale you know what I mean

You're not causing any Any sensation even probably barely even record like like fucking there's probably too much weight on either side of the flap for you to get in You just got to slap it on there Or maybe go Go through the baleen being a pirate must have fucking sucked bad but Awesome I could go for some hardtack and rum right now. Yeah, I mean Drunk all the time. We're basically digital pirates, you know, we just

just eat bread and Drink fucking no rock-gut liquor and you know, yeah, let our teeth get bad Take money from people Yeah, I could see that digital pirate. Yeah, I Guess that would just be people who pirate stuff online actually Make more sense Yeah, I'm pro pro that stuff pro, you know Well, I'm pro freedom. I think I'm like a freedom guy. That's good a guy I went to a

This is really not even funny. I just I just who gives a fuck There was a guy went to college with who posted on his Instagram. It was like one of those six slide things You know like you swore. Yeah, and it was like reasons that I'm a Christian nationalist And no perfect. Yeah, and it was like reason number one. I love God and I was like, okay That's pretty good explains at least 50% of it The reason number two is like I love my country and I was like, alright like we got 50-50 I'm interested to see like the other three reason number three was like I'm anti immigration and I was like that kind of follows another the first one

And the reason number four was like, you know, I give I give honor to like you know I give all glory to God. I'm like you're just repeating yourself. Anyway I bring this up because me and this guy used to inhale gasoline at his house in his garage and like listen to dubstep and stuff and it's just interesting to me to see the paths that some people take like whatever brain damage I got led me to here which is fine I'm not really mad about that you know my it's I have a pretty sick-ass life and I'm happy for everything that you know I'm very lucky but so far but yeah so very very good point I need yes yeah the shoe is always waiting drop you know things can get a I'm not sure. So far but yeah, so very very good point. I

need. Yes. Yeah. The shoe is always waiting to drop. You know, things can get a lot worse. Once you find out, I got some really bad allegations on the way and you are not going to be happy when you hear about it. Thank god. This

is a premium episode because I have done some horrible things. This is free. Jake will soon find out about and it will ruin his life. Let me tell you. And they're all true. I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, coming out. That would be funny if I'd done something

and I forgot about it. But yeah. Coming out as a Christian nationalist is very fun. That's what I was trying to be is like, the caption had all the gravitas of like a guy from the South and a deeply religious family finally at age like 29 being like guys some of you probably know this you're my close friends I'm gay he was like hey guys I'm just I'm about sick and tired of the BS he doesn't curse online which is very funny I'm tired of the BS I'm tired of

this and I just wanted to let everybody know this is where I stand if you don't agree with me feel free to block me I am a Christian nationalist because I love the United States, and I worship God. And I was like, cool, man. I'm going to delete this. I don't even know why I still followed you. I knew him from high school or whatever.

He probably early followed, but I was like, that's so funny. To come out to your friends and family, not as like a gay guy or lesbian or fucking whatever the fuck, but to be like, hey guys, I let you guys know I fucking hate brown people, and I fucking hate brown people and I fucking love this country and all this bad shit It does and I'm proud of it And I think we should do more and I think that it should get worse for you guys If you don't agree with that

For to hit that mute, but you know what I mean feel if you don't if you don't like the fact that I fucking suck Nuts and butts Hey, dude kick rocks brother. They're fucking doors that way I fucking suck nuts and butts Hey, dude kick rocks brother the fucking doors that way It's just it's so there's so much cockiness. I kind of appreciated that there's so much fucking Swagger in that like It's awesome like yeah, you don't like that. I fucking did I suck balls

Don't let the door itching the way out pal. Hey guys just wanted everyone to know that um That I'm really stupid and evil And that I don't have any friends And that at this point the way my job prospects are this isn't really gonna make a difference I'm a Nazi I Think you can still be a Nazi substitute teacher so yeah long as I don't get hired on full time, I'm fine. I am a Nazi freak. I'm anti-Mexican food. I like eating Cracker Barrel.

And I no longer masturbate. I just, um. Growl. I just, yep. I just growl at people and I'm, um, and my feet always hurt and I, I can't eat mushrooms and my, I need a new desk chair. And I got groceries today and I got cereal.

And it tasted good when I ate it. And my favorite computer company is Dell. And I love Hitler. And I like Hitler because I'm gay. And I'm gay because I like being a Nazi. And I like being a Nazi because I love hair gel. And I love white cock. It's all the pictures were you could.

So I guess he I think he had screen shot it from maybe Facebook or something, because they were like the AI generated, you know what I'm talking about, like the AI generated, like Reasons I Love God, you know what I'm saying? But it was like, he had clearly added the text in, like in Canva or something, but it was like, the first picture was like, like an AI generated series of hills with like a cresting sunrise. And I was like, Re I'm a Christian nationalist,

number one, I love Jesus, I love God. And AI generated hills. You can just find real ones, I guess, whatever. And then the second slide was like a picture. It was like a road, like leading into the mountains or whatever, and it was, I guess, supposed to signify like the beauty of the country. I don't know, and it was, I guess, supposed to signify like the beauty of the country.

I don't know, reason I'm too, I love it. But I'm like, dude, you can find all of these, there are stock photos of like, Jesus. There are free photos of God on the computer that are not obviously legitimate pictures of the demiurge, of the Lord, but you can find them. You know, you don't have to have chat GPT generated. Hey chat GPT.

The ways that like really stupid people use AI is awesome to me. It rocks dude. Like when, my favorite is when like comedy clubs will make AI generated posters and flyers. Dude, yes, Austin is bad with that, dude. And they'll like, they'll have way too much like, just going on and it'll just, it's like, and then the text that's overlaid is like not in the right places and stuff and so it

just becomes impossible to look at. It'll be like a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and it has like laser beams coming out of its eyes and its like feet are like nachos. Yes, 100%. And then there's like mountains and like an eagle. It's clear they just typed everything they could think of into Mid Journey or whatever. And then the show is like 3 p.m. on Tuesday.

Dave, Dave the comedian, featuring white, white lady Rachel and, and that guy Joe. Come, buy a, buy a drink in exchange for five minutes of stage time those are and it's just and then the Yeah, the background took

Like the the life force of an Amazonian child To create yeah, and it's just like it's like It's It's just a giant. it's like the guy, it's the movie 21 Jump Street, but it's every frame combined into one image. The ones that really get me are the ones that are like, you know how AI, when AI generates something in realism,

it's like over saturated animation, essentially. Like that's... And it's the ones, it'll be like a skinny white baby with a distended belly. And it'll be holding like a piece of cardboard and it'll just... It's in the foreground. The background is a skyline, like a concrete jungle that is not any discernible American city. And the capture...

It's like Facebook, you know, is like, this happens every day and we don't do anything to stop it. Like, you know, share if you love children or like share if you love your daughter, don't want them to become this baby. Oh, that's nice. And I'm like, dude, there are real pictures

of real homeless children. If you go outside and you live in an urban area You can probably see one in real life and you can give him money You don't have to take like 10 gallons of water to generate like the hallucinations of a fucking Silicon wafer Yeah, I like the ones that I've seen the ones that are orphans begging for money But it's not for any cause and there's no link

Or anything it'll just be like it'll be like everybody hate me except Jesus Where are these emaciated children weird children that that characters of starving children. This is something that I I Genuinely, I'm this you can make fun of this stuff and you should make fun of it It's bad and it's gonna lead to bad things and I don't know if people want it so much It's just being shoved down our throats. Whatever. But what I will say is all of this stuff is sucks. I hate it Imagine though what we're talking about is probably the doings of mostly old people imagine you live through like like you're 70 80 years old you live through fucking Vietnam you live through

like fucking all the wars you live to JFK with the Ronald Reagan and now you can fucking go on the computer and you can fucking generate like a picture You can generate a picture of God you can go on your son's laptop when he's over from college your grandson over from college and you can go on his laptop and you can type in Jesus Monster truck the town I grew up in and it will generate for your eyes a picture of Jesus and Grave Digger driving down a street in Midland Texas. You know what I'm saying? Like that has got to be insane. If you are like a dementia-addled, lead-in-your-blood fucking old Boomer moron, that has it's indiscernible, indistinguishable from magic. Now from, I read an article about how in like,

I forget where, like Malaysia and like Indonesia, they're cranking out those images. Yes, yeah, yeah, that is true. Yeah. Because you can go, you can make money. So it's like, I think it's kind of like, not to exaggerate, but it seems like a unique type of like hellish life to be right towards the end of your life right now cuz yes 100% you're like still like

like the pandemics over right but you're still socially isolated. And you just go on Facebook every day and you cry at images that aren't real. Yeah, like somebody is creating hellish images for you to see and click on, and they made them up. You see starving kids that aren't real and it breaks your heart and they're fucking cartoons made by a computer Or like a Malaysian slave like a like yeah, you're getting paid like a dollar a day So like and then I'll think about that and then I think about the same guy going outside and going for a walk And then he just sees a black family and he starts crying again

For I'm like yeah, well, maybe he maybe he should stay inside, you know, but. It's got like if you're that old, you live through like what what I believe. I don't know. I'm not a fucking economist, but you live through what it what was like kind of like an aberrate like that postwar 45 to 75 that fucking the golden gravy train was an aberration. It wasn't... everything after that was just sort of a series of fucking, you know, every 10 years some sort of financial collapse of varying degrees, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, but you're set, right? Like you got the house, you know, you got no mortgage, and you've got equity in everything you own if you're lucky you know and

and Your golden years if you're lucky enough to retire you just spend yeah, just like just fucking like one finger typing like Got Godzilla of Nazareth. And you look at that and you're like, holy fucking shit. That's gotta be like beyond any of your wildest dreams. I don't know, I'm 30. You know? I'm kind of worried if shit doesn't get really like Mad Max bad or whatever,

it probably won't, you know, nothing ever happens. But what the fuck are you and me you know I'm saying? What are what's gonna be the thing that like in in the twilight years of our lives is the fucking fabrics coming? Unwoven completely and we don't recognize people anymore, and we mostly just sit there and chew on stuff That's not there, and you know you're kind of confused all like what's gonna be the thing that you and me are like like can I just generate from my mind like? 100,000 pieces of candy Like in front like like you know what I'm saying like what'll be the thing? That I'll spend the last three years of my life doing is my body's being like eroded by cancers. You know I

Hope it's something yeah, I might just get back in the TV You know I hope it's something yeah, I might just get back in the TV Normal-ass TV yeah, yeah, I think that might be my like my throwback thing. I'm into like oh you see grandpa He still watches TV Yeah, that's that's funny to think about yeah like yeah I'm like watching like a big flat-screen plasma TV, and they're like oh my gosh look at that big flat-screen Yeah, yeah grandpa still plays grandpa still plays on an Xbox one he doesn't watch his mind TV grandpa have you have you have you tried mind TV and you're like nah I got my flat screen I have my

brothers this new game on the phone it's called pinball it was just created and you say well you know back even before I was born, there was pinball, but it was a big machine and you had to go to a special, a special place to play it. And there was all different types of pinball machines and it was about where you had to hit the levers, right? They say, grandpa, the levers aren't real, it's just on the mind phone. It's just on the lick phone. That you charge by licking. Don't you remember, Grandpa? Yeah, no, I'm saying the mechanics are probably similar,

it just used to be a physical game. And there would be different movie themed ones, depending on when you went to the movie theater. A movie theater? You mean like a mind play. Mm-hmm and then and then as you're having the conversation with your grandson an ad pops up mid conversation and goes Watch 30 30 seconds of mind porno to continue And you go, I don't want to watch the mind porno to continue. And you go, I don't wanna watch some mind porno, I just wanna talk to my grandson.

He says, watch some mind porno to continue. If you want to speak to your grandson again, you will watch 30 seconds of mind porno. And you say, fine, I'll watch some mind porno. You click on it, it says, now producing mind porno for your old fat ass. And the robot voice says that to you and it says big big

Big style porno coming into your brain now And then it does something crazy with like a let's say a guy with a big ass fucking a tiny girl But the guy's ass is huge and it's oiled up, but it's straight sex But you're looking at the guy's ass like it's a girl's ass That's gonna type of thing they're gonna have in the future. It's gonna be porno where you look at the guy's ass because it's what looks... It's produced in such a way that's naturally look at. You're just watching the guy's butt as he threw it. And that'll be the best part of porno in the future.

I don't want to talk to my grandson. Repeat mind porno. Grandpa, it says we can talk. It says you're... To continue mind porno, you must talk to your grandson for five minutes. I don't want to talk to you. Let me go back to jerking my mind off My mom big oil guys, but I don't hear about your college Yeah, like Well cuz it's like the AI thing

Yeah, like, uh... Well, cause it's like, the AI thing, uh... You know, it followed the trajectory of the internet in general, which was like, you know, it's used as a part of some sort of ideological adversarial, stupid war shit, and then for like, sex. So there's no way that we don't continue down the, yeah, continue down this path. You know, like, I was just, just, what are you playing over there? Your grandson's like, I'm playing Rape Killer. You're like, what's that? It's like, oh, it's the new mind game,

grandpa, do you wanna play? And he puts a helmet on your old fucking liver spotted ass head and it's just like one million terabytes of gore in 2.2 seconds. Don't you kids read erotic literature in school anymore? Nobody reads erotic literature anymore, Grandpa. Nobody has pool boy fantasies anymore, because there's no pools. There's no water. There's only mind water. We drink it with our thoughts.

Our phone waters With the only water we need is what we use from our tongue to lick into our phone and it keeps it powered Grandpa we use lick phone to play rape killer When I was your age we didn't have rape killer we had lady killer and it was different. You didn't rape them, you just killed them. You kids are going, everything's going down the tubes because when I was your age, we just had killer of people and women and that was a game everyone played online for 10 years. It took them 10 years to- When I was a boy, oures emulator only had white women

Now it's work The DIA rapes them The defense intelligence agencies rapes are bad I Did I remember like I was stupid cuz I fall listen if there's anything if I'm anything I'm fucking gullible, and I fucking fall for everything dude, but I remember when VR was popping off and you know I people like all the simulation people are gonna make like I Still think there's a possibility that if it ever does get good, and it's like it's not a helmet It's like a thing you you know Experience or whatever and taking to consciousness blah blah blah

Dude the most popular ones are going to be, like, because what's the statistic people will, like, pull out of their ass all the time, but it's somewhat true, like, so much of the internet traffic globally is pornography, or you're so much amounts of gore, whatever, terabytes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A lot of VR experience, I would imagine, the backroom stuff is going to be the worst shit of all time You know like what I heard from people who got the oculus or whatever say everybody who got one Used it to jack off one time and then felt Evil okay, okay didn't do it again

I think I'm sure Pete there were other people who decided to keep doing it But I think taking that taking the oculus off And you're just in your room again. Yeah. Yeah has got to be rough Uh-huh, uh-huh, and also I don't think it's that I mean, I think you're basically just looking at it really up close I don't know. I haven't I've never tried that might be one of the last things I would be interested in Yeah, right now is is adding that to my list of things I can be ashamed of but I just feel like I have enough things in my life that I

That I'm ashamed of and I don't think I want to be in a You don't want to be wearing a headset with your cock out it's hard, you know I'm saying like that Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. Do it if I do I wanted to be wearing a headset with your cock out. It's hard. You know I'm saying like that. That's yeah Yeah, that's a big part of it dude if I do I wanted to be on my terms Yeah, I wanted to be watching a nature documentary Yeah, watch like you're in the planet life. Whatever. I would yeah I'm just jacking off to the movie casino because I think it's so cool. It's a great film. Yeah, I really like I remember when, I remember when the Oculus and stuff was getting really big. Just the headsets are terrible.

I played one of those balance board games and it really fucked with me, man. Like, the ones where you're like, you know, you're on a tightrope or whatever and it like, it fucks with your sense of, you know, eventually you get used to it and you, and you kind of your, your primal brain, your brainstem and your whatever, it realizes that it's not real and you're able to do it pretty easy. But the first couple run arounds, or at least for me, we're pretty disorienting. Um, I can't imagine. Like a deep down in your brain, right?

Like, because your prefrontal cortex like all the parts of the thing that make you human and not just an ape know that you're looking at a screen and that you're holding on to your fucking little toad burping out yuckies and you're watching what is essentially just a different type of phone that you can look around in or whatever. But your animal brain, dude, that thing's gotta be going. If you watch too much, people are like, oh, porn rewires your brain and all that stuff

and just truth to it or whatever. Whoever is out there watching just strictly VR, their shit's fried. They might not be able to come back. You know what I'm saying? Like if you're gooning with the hat on, that's fucking the win-o. That's tough stuff. But what you can do in VR is you can go on over to patreon.com slash Mendeo time and you can give us just a little bit of scratch,

a little bit of cheddar cheese, a little bit of Gouda, a little bit of Mula, a little bit of fucking Paola. That's going to be a dollar a month for access to the Discord and nothing fucking else. Alright? Not a goddamn thing. Five a dollar a month for access to the discord and nothing fucking else alright not a goddamn thing five bucks a month gives you access to the discord and you get access to all of our backlog of bonus episodes plus a bonus episode every goddamn week ten bucks a month gets you access to a backlog of video episodes and the bonus episodes and a discord check out the YouTube channel Padao Timeime worldwide we've got our sketch up there and the free video episodes if you do not watch those please check those out try to get those views up so go check out the

free video episodes they are on youtube uh 50 bucks a month doesn't get you anything uh you just give us that if you have that kind of money and you're rich there are a couple rich guys who listen to the show so you can do that if you want you can get a VR video for 50 bucks a month of Thomas's butthole and balls Arched for seven hours. He doesn't He doesn't do that for seven hours. Yeah, you can't arch your shit for seven hours Maybe I could probably do it for a few minutes. Yeah Realistically and then probably my back would start hurting. Yeah, probably All right. See you Bye for a few minutes, realistically, and then probably my back would start hurting. Yeah, probably.

All right, see you. Bye.