Pendejo Time - physique freaks

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

something about physiques at the end. enjoy Support the Show.

uh hey there oh yeah oh yeah dude oh yeah yes sir yes sir we were just talking about how uh you know like how a man can really lose his mind really really lose sight of himself when you know you find he finds a a hood rat that just knows how to slurp on it exactly like when you're like because so like let's take guys like you and me we've goturp on it. Exactly. Like when you're like, cause so like, let's take guys like you and me, we've got paper on our minds and on our hearts, you know, like we are,

it, sky's the fucking limit for Pandejo boys. And then, you know, a real sweet and nice honey shows up and she just, just fucking takes it down like an oyster and you, and you lose sight. It's very easy to lose sight of like, what's like, not to say that getting slurped down like an oyster and you and you lose sight it's very easy to lose sight of like what's

like not to say that getting slurped down like a 7-eleven big gulp ain't important but like you know you got because it is it is very important but you it's forest for the trees you got to remember that you know getting slurped up comes and goes but but but podcast money is forever uh and so and by forever we mean like two or three years yeah until this no longer becomes something that's yeah time why if the if the money in the in the in the audience ever like dips below time investment because right now it's right now it's cool because it's inverse. But if it ever reverses, man, goo goo goo. Sorry, fellas. You know, we like to think of reverse and inverse mathematically almost as sisters.

Yeah, because kind of like the relationship between getting slurped on and making money. Sometimes you want to make money. Sometimes you want to get slurped on and making money. You know, sometimes you want to make money. Sometimes you want to get slurped on. But sometimes in order to get slurped on, you need to make money. Ain't that right? And you got to slurp. Yeah. Sometimes you make money by slurping.

God knows. Thomas knows. I don't know anything about that. Better than anybody. Yeah. I do. I know it well. Yeah.

I know it really well. Yeah. Thomas has it. I know it better than anybody. I know it so yeah thomas i know better than anybody i know it so well i know it better than anybody does yeah yeah i know really well yeah i know i do i know it really well anyway welcome to the day of time i know really well really well yeah welcome welcome to padeo time you know this is our 30 actually a little fun there's something there's something i'm talking okay let's hear it buddy let's fucking hear it dude people want to hear the original idea i had let's hear called the name. Let's hear that original idea. We were going to call it Crazy Time.

Okay. Remember? Yeah, that's right. We were going to do an offshoot show called Crazy Time. Yeah, we were going to wear scary costumes. Yeah. But it didn't really work because we also didn't want to do the video aspect.

Yeah. I kind of want to do an episode called Podcast About List and just do their stuff. Yeah. But – You could be – I feel like I'm Patrick a little bit, but also – I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm more of a Cameron guy.

I don't know. It's just different people. I'm just attributing the very few things I know about them, which is basically their name. Other people. I'm just attributing the very few things I know about them, which is basically their name. Other people. You're just saying, yeah, I'm this guy. You're not. You're Jake. I am Jake.

If I was one of them, I'd probably be Thomas. Yeah, exactly. You would be Thomas whatever your last name is. Yeah. Thomas and I actually don't know each other's last names. We don't really know much. We just know our bodies. Yeah, we do know that intimately.

We discovered, you know... A passion. A passion. So, you know, in the pursuit of sort of, you know of financial security by doing the least amount of work possible, you get to intimately know your business partner. And so Thomas and I decided that the best way for us to become closer as business partners was to oil each other up and wrestle a little bit in my living room. As sort of a team building exercise. Yeah. You know, like some companies will have like pizza nights or they'll go to Lasertag at the Pandejo time. Yeah.

Whenever you worked at Chuck E. Cheese, they had that, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I was the cheese at Chuck E. Cheese. Really? Yeah. I don't believe that for one second because I've had the cheese there a million times. And what do you think about it?

Yuck. So you would be delivering a compliment to me saying that I'm not gross. Have you ever had the pizza at Chuck E. Cheese? I've only been there once. The last time I was there was probably like, I'm not like, probably 15 or 16 years ago for like my friend's little sister's birthday. And so I'm 45, so I was probably like. You still go to those, right?

I'm not allowed. Right. Within like 150 feet of them because I'm so cool. Because you were so good at the games. Yeah, that's what they told me. I mean, that's what. You could do Buck Hunter from the parking lot. Yeah, well, I did a little hunting from the parking lot,

you know, you know, so many single adult women come out of there. Um, like, you know, moms and stuff. And,

uh, you know, their husbands, they're off at the oil field or they're in prison and, and they got their daughter with them or their son. And, you know, they're like, man, i really wish a really like handsome you know super like well endowed and wealthy man would come up to me and just like harass me for like 45 minutes to several hours absolutely and and so you know i'm willing to take that burden on because a lot of times like

men just don't rise to the occasion. That's the problem with the generation of men we have is they don't rise to the occasion. They're so subdued by cancel culture. We got a problem. Yeah, we got a problem. With the men in this society. Yeah, they're weak. Everybody's like, oh, leave women alone on the bus.

Leave women alone at the movie theater. Like, oh, don't chase me. Yeah, I women alone on the bus. Leave women alone at the movie theater. Like, oh, don't chase me. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I do. Like literally any other alpha animal. I'm going to chase you.

It's like riding a bike. Yeah. It's like riding a bike. You go faster when you're on a bike than on foot. I'm like a lion. If you turn your back and you sprint, that just, to me,

that's like, that's my, I'm like evolutionarily. I am coded to me that's like that's my i'm like evolutionarily i am coded to see that as like oh yeah we're good so the both of us are good at running yeah both of us do what lightning quick yeah i mean like i i ran a 4-3 you know i'm i'm an elite athlete i don't really like i don't hear my own heartbeat in my ears when i stand up too fast i could probably run up a flight of stairs as a joke and accidentally kill myself yeah i mean there are a lot of times when i've been drunk in the past and i'm like i do like hold my beer stuff and i come very close to like really holding your beer yeah i come really you

try and pick it up, it just slips out. Last time I did it, last time this happened, true story, I tried to, like, do a John Wick move to my girlfriend's brother, and I separated my AC joint in my shoulder. And the doctor was like, how'd this happen? And I was like, oh, jujitsu, which was the total lie. But I was way too embarrassed to speak to like like an orthopedic guy and be like yeah i had about 16 to 17 miller lights and i tried to do a rolling knee bar to my girlfriend's brother who was like also really good at fighting and then i because i'm fat retarded

like broke a joint in my body on concrete and i remember like like coming like like like i remember coming i remember getting yeah and being like uh this move always works in the gym why didn't it work now and then there was a small voice in my head it's like because your gym has like a soft rubber mat and like you know it's it's foam and this is who's matt matt is the producer of this podcast why don't you know the names of your employees uh because i don't care about employees he's a con he's a contractor we got him on 1099 actually we don't have employees remember that's right we have you and me should do like rich people tax evasion stuff, but making like $1,200 a month. Yeah, we don't even make that.

No, we don't. But I'm saying like, you know, it gets there and I'm like calling, you know, lawyers and like- Yeah, we're trying to use like a Swiss credit union. Yeah. And they're like, how much money do you have? You know, are you depositing you know 20 30 million and we're like no we got a podcast we split it's about 1300 a month right now so i guess like 650. 650 000 no uh basically rent for a studio apartment where someone died that's what you're getting and we

need 100 security that this won't be hacked or else you'll experience the full power and weight of the people just use Swiss banks because they talk funny you know because they seem clever there's no added security they just have the banks up in a mountain there's no cyber security

it's just really hard to get to the bank it takes a long time to drive up you know yeah the aesthetics are driving motivational It's really hard to get to the bank. It takes a long time to drive up, you know? Yeah, the aesthetics are driving motivational. They got those roads where you got to go back and forth a bunch because of the slope. Yeah. And if you're a bank robber, you really don't want to be doing too many winding turns.

You're like a nice – bank robbers like me like a nice straightaway. Yeah, because you can go fast. Yeah. Now, if you got some, let's say like a Need for Speed, you got yourself a little Nissan Skyline or whatever and you want to do some e-brake drifts or something, then

you know, maybe knock yourself out. What about a game called Need for Seed and you like fuck like women in it why would I do that

I don't know it's just sort of a what if scenario that's gross I would never play a game with such a foul theme you're Christian right

no I'm Thomas nice yeah no I figure as much did you ever play those games Burnout No, Thomas. Nice. Yeah, no, I figured as much. Did you ever play those games Burnout on PlayStation? Yeah, I was the main character. That's sad.

No, I don't know what that is. Is that a driving game? Yeah, it's like, like, it was more focused around, like, absolute destruction than absolute destruction than actually racing. So they'd have minigames where you would cause as many of a number of cars pile up as you could on the freeway or downtown area. I wouldn't do something like that. No, I mean, that's morally disgusting to do something like that. I did that in Fort Worth a couple months ago. Really? During the winter snap? was you yeah 130 damn that's fucked up man why would you do something like that it was really funny to me i was doing it for the eric andre show oh did you get on that show no that was my audition tape. How'd that go?

They liked it, but they said, we can't put this on TV because you're too handsome. Dude, I get that all the time. I remember when I auditioned to be, so I auditioned for a movie called Tree of Life. Yeah. It was a Terrence Malick movie. So it was me and Brad Pitt,

and we're in the audition room, and Terrence Malick's like, wow, both of you are really handsome and really ripped and like really well-respected actors. I can only go with one of you. And Brad Pitt was like, look, Jake, like this is your like like you are like clearly the more handsome guy. Like you clearly like really know what you're doing. And he was like, I want you to have this role. And I said, Brad, Bradley, come on, brother. Like, Brad, dude, braggadoosh. what you're doing um and he was like i want you to have this role and i said brad bradley like come on brother like brad dude braggadoce like here's the problem man i already have a movie i'm doing called the avengers and this is sort of like you know it's a scheduled competition so you can have this movie um and you know i made like 180 million dollars it's whatever but um i had to give that to bradley

because that's what actors do for each other you know yeah and and that's they do a lot for each other they do you know they like they everyone says hollywood is like a bunch of pedophiles and stuff but like that's and it is well i was gonna say it's only like 79 percent like pedophiles like i like that's a small number so like 21 is like a bunch of well-meaning sort of careerist weirdos who like never had a real job. But like, dude, that's a lot of human people. Like you can't help like the circumstances you're born into, you know. So sure, 79% of its pedophilia is sponsored and condoned and endorsed by the state. But like weird shit happens, you know.

Like sometimes you just gotta move on you know they've got innocent guys like charlie sheen there too yeah charlie sheen is just like uh like an oscar winning he's a family man yeah i mean like he stood up to holly weird and said i have aids and holly weird was like he does yeah he yes he has aids that's not it this is real he he gave aids to like a porn star that's awesome he she was like how are you are you recovering uh are you talking about charlie sheen or talking about me yeah had to be a hard hit there you know your childhood hero just leaves you in the dust like

that you know well i mean like so like my dad smoked crack and so when i saw charlie sheen smoking crack i said wow it's not just my dad and then like i see his charlie sheen's movies i watched two and a half men and i was like i want to be like that guy i want to be a womanizing you know wealthy guy uh i was probably about that guy. I want to be a womanizing wealthy guy. I was probably about 22 when I started watching this show. Yeah, womanizing, that's a verb I'd use for it. Yeah, yeah. That's a verb I'd use for it too. He was a real womanizer.

Mm-hmm. You know, when you go around town and you go around womanizing, a lot of people would refer to it as sort of like a felony. Yeah, a lot of people hate Ron refer to it as sort of like a felony yeah a lot of people hate ron jeremy because he's such a womanizer yeah a lot of people hated harvey weinstein because of his womanizing ways um but the problem is is that a lot of people like we kind of we're talking about this beginning like a lot of people don't respect a player's grind dude like they really don't respect like like when a guy's in his bag, like, oh, all this talk about women in their bag, blah, blah, blah. That's fine.

Cool. A lot of people aren't even in their bag nowadays. No, they just say they are because they don't even know what it means. They're just trying to get in my bag. Yeah, they're trying, yes. They're trying to get in your sleeping bag. But, like, you know. Yeah, because I'm camping and I'm warm.

That wasn't an insult, man. You're an on-the-road guy. You're a fucking road dog, dude. Like, you, you know. And so when a guy like Arby Weinstein's in his bag, people are like, yo, we gotta knock him off.

We gotta knock him down a pedestal because he's in his bag too much. It's fucking disrespectful, dude. And honestly, it's fucking horrible. He was a lot like Roddy Ricch. Yeah, the box. Yeah, I mean, he wrote that song. This is how it's do.

And I'm just trying to make it work. Boop-a-da-da. Shoulda-boom-ba-da-boom-ba. Bigger bullshit. E. E. E. E.

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E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. Yeah, that song is really fucking stupid, and I don't know why it was. I think one of my current running conspiracy theories in my brain now is that, like. That guy looks like a pony also. Yeah, he looks fucked up. Is people don't make, like, industry plans have been real. Everyone knows that. But, like, there's no, you're not trying to make a single. You're trying to make, like,iktok viral song that goes viral so like it's no longer about

making like a full track and this does not just apply to like hip-hop at all it's like any genre jake talks hip-hop yeah jake talks music and conspiracy theory uh So my, yeah, I'm like, I wonder like, should my band do something like that? Like, should we make a song that's like, we're an emo band. I don't really know like what good that would do. Yeah. Well, whenever you're 28 and in an emo band, that's when you need to start thinking about TikTok. Well, I was about to say you know i was talking with a friend of mine today i was telling him what i told you earlier i can't talk

about quite yet and uh the sort of jail sentence i'm facing uh yeah but uh i was like look i gotta it really is like 27 is not old in like the grand scheme things, but I'm entering the age range where being in an emo, screamo band is like, Oh, hey, you play music? Yeah. What kind of music do you play? Ah, emo. That's cool when you're 15 to max 20. Really like 26, 27. You're pushing it at 27. I'm'm newly 27 as of a couple weeks ago

yeah congrats yeah so i'm thinking i don't remember if i told you happy birthday you didn't at all i didn't no i forgot that's okay uh i know well you also didn't tell me i've told you several times well look at me mr secretary mr i remember every day of every year uh guys if you want to buy me a present for my birthday it's coming up october 18th uh if you want to buy jake one you got to wait 11 yeah 11 months in two years. It's going to be funny when you hit your mid-20s and you have that moment when you're 25. Yeah, where I just press a gun up against my temple. And you're like, fuck, 25 sucks. I will be 32 years old.

Or 31. And I'm going to be like, yeah, man. You're going to be dead. Yeah, it's good i'm gonna go out like uh i'm gonna make this like a burzum situation but except people won't remember me when i get out wait so you're gonna clip me and then like i didn't say that i just said it's just a pivot to metal that's all i was talking about dude you'd be a good metal front man you got to look man it's i'd have to start wearing just only black car heart shirts i could keep the car heart shirt so like the like it is funny that you're like just your you know your look and it's you know just

the way you look and then where you're from you have like uh like a library of alexandria understanding of like hip-hop the entire there's the entirety of the movement and and it's cool because like i thought i knew quite a bit about it and i was like fuck no i am way out of my element, like when we talk about people. But it's cool that, like, you know. I mean, I just, it's like, I don't consider myself like an expert or anything, but it's just something that I always thought was cool. So I, like, I guess sort of approached it like a white kid would, if that makes sense. No, it totally does. approached it like a like a white kid would that make sense no it like like whenever you get like uh i don't know whenever i like something i just try and learn

whatever i can about it but now it's like i don't know i don't really pay attention to the new stuff as it comes out as much because it'll be guys like like i don't know poosh ice d's whole history all right sure i'll be i'll be honest i just know you know some of his alliances and stuff but the 80s and 90s stuff i and you know pay more attention to but that's just because i like this stuff it's not like i don't know no i'm that way with like the boom bap guys like the mf doom crowd like i yeah that was like what i was really i was one of those dudes i was like if it has a jazzy like if it like yeah like the de la soul type stuff anything that mad lib did like i love the freddie gibbs stuff like i just all that shit fuck yeah it's so good to me and then like this kid red veil out of uh up in uh maryland is like insanely good even like

even like i i like earl like anything earl touches or as a part of like i'm a huge fan of but like but that is like a really weird part of hip-hop to like because the connotation associated with like enjoying oh you don't and it's like no i love like like young thug and gucci like i like all that shit too it's just like when i was getting really into hip-hop like my introduction i guess was like listening to the illmatic and being like'm going to make this a key part of my personality. This was like 2008. Yeah. And then like that just sort of evolved to being like, you know,

like a, Oh, if this has a jazzy hook or a sample, like it's automatically good to me, even if it fucking sucked. Cause it was like a, like a hip stupid thing I was doing when I was a teenager. Yeah.

I'm going to become one of those white guys who just like, who like just, who just like only talks about like rap from like 1981. Just to seem impressive. Be like, yeah, on this day, uh, cool. Moe D put out Wild Wild West, which was using the soundtrack.

Have y'all heard that song, Top Villain? Yeah. This is one of my favorite Big Daddy Kane deep cuts. By the way, I am 36 years old and work at a liquor store. Yeah, that's a good point. I remember being in high school and being like, you don't know about the 10 Crack Commandments, dude. You're a fucking loser. And then there is a type of guy in his mid to late 30s who's like, yeah, dude, do you know the fucking Craig Mack and Biggie remix of Flavor in Your Ear?

Yeah, I didn't think that you did you it's like one of the most popular like you don't even know about that one super cat joint that biggie yeah do you oh do you know about like okay so if you don't like it's cool because like a lot of people don't but like do you know about like ready to die the album like i don't think a lot of people know i'm gonna show you something that's really personal to me it's a it's the latest a tribe called quest album and i bought it at urban outfitters for 75 dollars the vinyl by the way runs on discog for like 22 bucks but i i bought it at a at a place. I bought this and also a Tame Impala album for $150. Yeah, before taxes. Yeah.

Although, actually, I do imagine Tame Impala on vinyl, not even being cliche, would actually be, like, really cool. Like, I know it's a somewhat maligned artist. I only have... He has some cool stuff, though. I only have, like, old emo albums on... I don't have a record player. Like, do you listen? So, I was...

I apologize. I barely use it. I was one of those odd future kids. Did you like Doris? Like, Doris is like... Okay. So was I. I still have an odd future shirt from like 2015. And it's like... Okay.

It's worn so much that it's just like... The fabric is like canvas almost. Barely a shirt anymore. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, his newer newer um feet of pivot i at first i i want to say it was like what 2019 or so that it was so some rap song was when he like became like yeah it's an avant-garde type like like the the flow and the beat don't match purposefully you

know like it doesn't yeah it doesn't mesh it's sort It's off kilter, but it's like more of a spoken word style. Similar to like Ka, if you've ever listened to. No, but I. I might have told you about him before. I think. He was a big inspiration for Earl though. Okay. I mean, I probably, I probably like, cause I listened to a lot of Earl radio, like on

Spotify. Yeah. though okay i mean i probably i probably like because i listen to a lot of earl radio like on spotify yeah i'm sure that i it's came across like if they have any sort of like connection artistically wise or whatever i like cog because in his his day job is he's just like a firefighter he's like a six he's like a successful guy and he also just is like one of the most talented like poetic style artists that i've ever heard kind of like an i mean barely related but there's a ufc fighter he just lost his champion he's the most accomplished heavyweight in ufc history steeping miocic and he's like a firefighter in ohio and i like don't maybe because i just have like a like a shitty idea of what it would mean if i ever made it doing anything in my hobbies but i'd be like yeah i wouldn't do fucking any like i would not why the fuck would i ever volunteer to do anything

especially like that and like where you make like less per year than you do in like one night exactly like i mean obviously they don't fight every night it's you know but it's like even if you lose a fight drastically you make like 17 years worth of firefighter wages by getting knocked out and he recently did but it's like i like like ufc and a couple other sports but specifically ufc does a lot of like marketing where it's like this champion still works as a janitor at the courthouse where he got a dui in 2009 and it's like dude no one really like some people really perceive that as like a bootstraps type thing but like i it's really just it seems like stupid shit to Like, why the fuck would you do that? Like, you are one of the baddest men on the planet. You are a hard motherfucker.

Why the fuck are you, like, teaching? Like, there was, like, a fighter who, like, was a history teacher for ninth graders. It's like, I guess if you like to do that, but, like, why? Also, I mean, it seems like it's always good to have a backup plan with that kind of career oh no 100 i mean a lot of those guys blow through their fucking money like most athletes do in a really stupid way yeah but like and also like um i don't i don't really know how getting cut works with ufc so they don't like first of all but i imagine most of them are like you know

winning all their fights i mean like even if you're like if you're a big name dude you're getting paid pretty good but like most other people aren't getting paid like the uf like the boxing gate for like a fight is so much higher than ufc but ufc has like a way big audience like a bigger audience. They just don't pay their fighters very well. And it's been a big issue for a while. So you have to go heel, become a guy like Conor McGregor or something where you're saying inappropriate shit

and getting into fistfights with old men outside of your chosen occupation. Or you just have to be a guy like Khabib, who was the the retired lightweight undefeated champion again just so good that like you're humble and you're a quiet dude but you're just impossible to beat oh if you're not any of those things on any either of the spectrum you're a fucking like you're a chump you have to like work your fucking ass off to make like you're getting like your head pounded in it's like worse worse than the NFL. Yeah. Like, you know.

It's almost harder than podcasting. Yeah. I mean like the brain damage you get from podcasting is way worse than the NFL. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like you and me were hopeless before we started this and now four months in, I'm thinking about buying a Corvette and I don't deserve it and I don't have the money. And, you know, I'm thinking about like about like oh I'm going to get you know a 55 bedroom again it's

childlike wishes yeah did I tell you I bought a house yeah you told me it so yeah it's really big it used to be a brothel for children yeah I used to run it and then I converted it into a house nice yeah no I remember you telling me that you were like kind of shamed of like

the way that you lived your life as a child prostitution not really i loved it i loved every minute respect yeah i'm gonna get on my phone if you don't mind yeah get on your phone for a bit dude interrupt the fucking podcast with you know All the thotties and fucking hotties That you fucking you know You DM and you're in love with them And they're in love with you and they want a piece

Of your fucking toad and I'm the fucking hard working guy here I'm the fucking guy Yeah you're doing your thing man good job Nice man wow you're doing great Wow that's crazy that's insane i uh so my dad um he texted me the other day and he's like have you seen this and he sends me like youtube videos like four in the morning and like 90 of the time it's like you it's like, have you seen this? And he sends me YouTube videos at 4 in the morning. And 90% of the time, it's like Foo Fighters live.

Yeah, it's crazy. But I think he's having a mental... He's having a moment because it was like how to live in the woods and erase your digital footprint. And he was like, been thinking about this a lot lately. It made me laugh because the only thing my dad posts on Facebook is basically pornography. your digital footprint and he was like been thinking about this a lot lately and it made me laugh because like the only thing my dad posts on facebook is like basically pornography and then like how to play metallica riffs and so he's like sharing this like ted kaczynski type video manifesto of a guy who's like i've been living in the woods 17 years i erased my footprint

i i deleted my bank and i've lived in a cave and he's like this is this is what it's all about brother so i don't know like what's going on in his head but it is funny to imagine a guy who like doesn't even share like articles critical of the u.s doesn't even partially engage in any dissent but being like yeah i got i gotta i'm being hunted like a dog and uh for posting you know big fake titties.com and putting the bell tolls covers so essentially what i'm going to do i'm just letting you know is my son is that i have to go into hiding because you know power cannot handle a revolutionary like myself. Yeah, I'm going to freak out one day and do that and erase everything.

And then within an hour, I'll try and undo it all. Yeah, you delete the whole podcast account in every episode, and then you text me and you're like, hey, I had a little goofy, and I'm like, oh, what happened? Did you, like, have a little, like, an episode? And you're like, no, I, like, deleted, like, everything. Like, everything's gone. I'm gonna, I'm gonna call my bank and be like, can you delete the account? And they're like, hold up, and I hang up.

I'm like, all all right it's done you're like yeah uh so um i kind of fucked up uh i come back i come back 10 years later and i have two hundred thousand dollars in unpaid hulu debt hey jake so like uh you like you know i concerned about, like, how big the pod is getting, right? So I, you know, I just added some security features to the Patreon. Oh, yeah, no big deal, Thomas. What'd you do? I deleted the Patreon. I deleted the, like, I kind of just deleted us.

Yeah, man, I got an axe and I put it through my PC. I deleted the Like I kind of just deleted us Yeah man I I got an ax and I put it through my PC About 75 times And I lost You know as you know About 2200 dollars And then I took all the money Out of my bank

And Well I I gave it to this homeless guy and then i realized i needed some money for a root beer and some peach rings so i asked for some of it back and he he he beat me nearly to death and that homeless man was your father jake met dave at a homeless camp and i said i used to know your son and he popped me in the mouth with a tire iron and stole my root beer and peach ring money. And then we – I'm starting a podcast with your dad. It would be this podcast exactly only like with way – like everything we just choose not to say.

Yeah. Because we don't have that much power. My dad would be like, yeah. Anyway, I saw like a little Mexican. You know, he would just – it would just be the worst thing like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think about saying but you don't say?

Because I say everything that – I don't have any thoughts that are worse than what I say. In fact, I could go out of – Oh, no, I definitely do. I admire you and I think you're a good person for saying that totally like i think you're a really good like truthful guy for saying what you just said uh i have a lot but i'm like an honest guy like i'm sort of like an honest like working guy yeah real guy i thought people always called you a liar um no they call me like a uh like a guy jake the liar i'm good with jake the huge stupid liar no they call me like a really

good and charming guy with like a lot of stories who calls you that yeah your mama and no yeah no why would she say that because i've known your mom 20 years now no and uh really since you were seven yeah since i was seven years old she used to babysit me and then when i grew to be a big strong man yeah she did you weren't she did that because she cares she's busy homeschooling me actually no she wasn't because you weren't born yet yeah i was 20 years ago you were not being homeschooled at one you were poopooing on yourself really yeah why am i so smart education wise now in terms of both school and iq i am excelling off charts combined iq is me and you uh below 200 for sure no no no doubt a hundred percent like like it might be it might be 200 flat. I was going to say like 190.

190 is like bad, bad. No, 190 would be, I was thinking, yeah, my math was off there. No, yeah, 190 combined is still – I was thinking like – I can't reveal what I thought my division was there because I only had to divide it by two. And at one point I was a biomedical engineering major. But, yeah, 190 maybe. I could see it being 200. 190 to 210, that range is, I think, very believable.

Very, very, very, like, difficult. I did one of those IQ tests online in high school. What'd you get? Don't worry about it. I took one, actually, at a psychiatrist's office. And it was really strange. So what happened after, I don't mean to brag,

but what happened after was basically I was tied to a gurney. And then I watched them tell my mom that I would never be able to live a normal life. And then they injected me with a bunch of ketamine. I just remembered that Patrick took one on stream. Do you remember this? No, I actually never saw that.

On the podcast about Liz's stream. Did you take a look at it? Did you get a mince of fucking IQ test? He took it. Well, it was an online IQ test. He got an 88. And it was live. That rocks.

This was like five months ago, too. Like everyone's forgotten about this long ago. This was this five months ago, too. Like, everyone's forgotten about this long ago. This was this past winter. I remember when I was in undergrad, one of my professors had... What, 10, 12 years ago? Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. All right. One of my professors in his syllabus had his IQ. What was it it was something that like either either it was true but 215 it was no it was like it was one of those numbers where it's believable but still impressive it was like 145 152 something like that you know and i remember even at 18 years old, this was like a tenured – so when you're a tenured professor, you can basically do just short of – It just means you've been doing it for 10 years. Yeah. No, I actually did believe that when I was in junior high.

That's literally what I thought. I remember even seeing that syllabus. He had his alma mater. He went to an Ivy League. And then his IQ and his syllabus and i remember being like this is going to be the chillest coolest guy i ever met in my life and then i went to the class on the first day and he he literally was like maybe like 84 or 5 years old uh like just impossibly old and it was was like an intro to local government class. And I never talked with the guy.

I never asked him why he had his IQ in his syllabus. But I feel like if I had even brought a little bit of attention to it, maybe I could have gotten like a Vox article written. No, I could. I'd have to be like Chinese or something. But like I could have gotten something maybe a buzzfeed thing but i didn't think too much of it at the time i was 18 i was concerned with smoke leaving doing nitrous and i really really like the idea at the bottom of your

syllabus you've got like alma mater cornell university iq 75 alma mater cornell university Alma Mater, Cornell University, IQ 75. Alma Mater, Cornell University, IQ 75. Penis length, 6.1 inches. Women fucked, 14. You're like 88 years old. Women fucked, 14. Cars driven, 9. Houses owned. I think

a resume should include your penis length and your women fucked number. Like turning it into a possible number. And folks, sometimes there's not necessarily a correlation there. No, there's not. Sometimes you have a little bitty penis like Thomas. It's so small

and sometimes you fuck 50 65 women you know uh and for me i haven't done that sometimes you have a really small penis and you've only fucked like one or two girls yeah and the rest were guys the rest i've dude god easy you made that too easy easy no i mean i'm agreeing with you dude like the way you get up in business cause like see I'm like a money minded guy I'm Mr. Money Man and so like the way it comes to business is like you know oh the big

cliche is like oh these money guys you know like to be dominant you know they like to be like no they don't they're fucking little girls and so sometimes you gotta dress them up like little women and you gotta fuck them. And that's how you get the good deals. Trump's art of the deal.

Dave Ramsey used to say that. Dave Ramsey said that. That's why I call him Dave Pansy. You call him that? Yeah, I slap him in the face and say, you suck, you're the worst. You don't know anything about money. What's the most you've jacked off in a day uh

honestly i don't know nine ten times probably yeah actually dude that's that's like pretty much my that was like and i and that this was at my prime time era by the way this wasn't yeah this wasn't my prime time era, by the way. This wasn't like... Yeah, this wasn't like... Like recent. No. This was not... I can say this because it was probably... At least five years ago.

I think I was probably 15 or 16. And it was when I like... Discovered how good it feels to jack off while high on drugs. And that was just like, curtains closed. Don't call. Do not text. I've gone a pretty long time without... Yeah.

No, I'm saying there was a... Recently, a really long period of time I went without watching porn. Yeah. And it wasn't out of like like a concern for the industry even though it's ethically like fucked it was just like i just was living with my girlfriend at the time and it just felt weird to like be like uh oh you're going to work okay i work from home on a jack off like it just felt weird yeah um but like i've talked to the reason i bring this up is this is that i have had friends

i've had for fucking over a decade okay these are guys that i know like we've gotten into fist fights like we were close as close as like dudes can be other than sucking each other off and you ask the question you're like how many times and i'm talking i'm asking you honestly how many times have you jacked off what's your fucking number dude and in your prime time era like not at not right when you discover jerking off because you're scared but when you really get into the groove talk call it 14 to 16 17 you really are cranking out numbers and they're like oh three or four times and i'm like you're full of fucking shit dude and they're like no and i'm like okay either i'm a freak and there's something wrong with me which very well could be the case or you're lying because i feel like are we talking about finished or is that including attempts no i'm talking about like you bust. Like you bust.

Hmm. I mean, after the fifth time, you're not busting nothing. It's just fucking, it's just like firing an engine with no oil. It's just dry. The pistons are just rubbing against each other with no fucking lubricant, but that, like, the

question is how many times have you, like, busted to somewhat completion so documented the highest for sure i can say is seven again yeah i mean like i i'm thinking back to like my one marathon day and i think it was anywhere between like yeah seven to ten and that was something absurd i'll be honest that was a planned yeah it was a day i smoked weed all day but my mom was out of town i smoked weed all day and just had like a goon day like i think i think at the time i was 15 and then i think after that i was like i think i'm like uh yeah you got a taper. I'm good on that for quite a while.

Yeah, you had a... Yeah, yeah. I like... I thought like maybe as an adult man I jacked off too much. I remember like asking my roommates like at 22, 23, I was like,

how often do you guys jack off? And they're like, oh, like a couple times a week. And I was like, what? Like, how often do you jack off? And I was like, once a day. a day it's just kind of like you know it's part of the routine or whatever and then i realized like a lot of like no matter how close you are with like a there's there's a connotation associated with jacking off too much and it's definitely a negative one like i think a

lot of my friends are just like lying to me or me. Or were lying in that moment. I'm like, dude, there's no way you jack off one to two times per week. There's just no chance. Like, if you have a girlfriend, 100%, I'll buy it. But we were all single at the time. Or if you're working, like, 70 hours a week, then sometimes... That is... Yeah, okay. But we...

Yes. Because... But if you're not, like, a coal miner or... Yeah. No, that's not right. Because sometimes I if you're not like a coal miner or. Yeah. Because sometimes I'll go like. You're absolutely right. Sometimes I'll go like a week and I'm like, oh, dude. This is why I've been, you know, throwing shovels through brick walls.

Yeah, yeah. Like, it's called a utility jack. When I was working at, when I was working at the refinery, I wouldn't jack off for like three and a half weeks because I would work 15, 16 days in a row. And then like I would be – like on my one day off, I'd be like, I'm going to drink a whole bottle of whiskey and put my head through some sheetrock. And I'd be like, why do you want to do that? And I'm like, oh, I haven't busted one off in like 19 days. And it doesn't matter how old you are. Yeah, it feels like you're having a baby at that point.

Yeah, no, it's like a problem at that point you got to have like you got to get a tarp out you got to get a cleanup crew yeah like you it's a it is like a moral and like biological problem it's like in a like a what is it like american psycho or whatever where he has the whole like the christian veil where he's got the whole room like covered in plastic. Yeah. But it's just, you just go home. What is it called? American Psycho.

Yeah, that's what he said. God, dude. It's just like, it's like a new thing every day with you. Look, the further we get along in this business relationship, the more that we realize, you know, we probably don't... My hand is so sweaty. And we're back.

We are back. A little bit of technological difficulties, folks, but, you know, such is the world is the way the world turns and burns. You know, sometimes I like to just accidentally start a Warzone update right before we record. And, you know, as you know, those tend to be pretty small.

Yeah, they're not like a big thing at all. Yeah, it's not like 90 gigabytes every time that happens. And keep in mind, I don't play Warzone, really. It just takes up, you know, probably 15% of my computer space. Yeah, I don't play Warzone, really. It just takes up probably 15% of my computer space. Yeah, I don't play any of the games that are on my Xbox. I haven't gamed in forever. I had Valhalla, and I was crushing that. And then I stopped, and I tried to play recently in the combat.

I just don't remember how to do anything. So I said, you know, I'm going to really really focus on like what, like, and the important things in my life, like podcasting. And, you know, that's pretty much really it. Yeah. There's nothing else. No, there's really nothing else at all. If this does not take off and it's over. Yeah.

It's over for me. I'm cutting. Yeah. What were we talking about? Jacking off hip hop. I don't know. I'm cutting, yeah. What were we talking about? Jacking off? Hip-hop? I don't fucking know. Yeah, you know, they combine more fluidly than one might expect.

Beat it. Beat it.anking it around yeah so that's thomas's new song spanking it around he you can um it will be it'll be a single it might not be on uh cadillacs and heartbreak no it won't be on that one but it'll be on uh uh mr dumbo i think is the is the guy who yeah who's putting who's putting it on he's with uh he was the one who he did that song yeah yeah he he's the guy from uh big fat retard records yeah yeah i can't wait to take a shower dude i, I'm going to be real with you. All I did today, I'm going to go to the gym because my gear's gone. I have to figure out a way to get new gear. Yeah, you got to start stealing little pieces of gear. Yeah, over time.

All I did today was look at a computer, but I smelled my armpits on the way to the store earlier. And I was like, how the fuck did I work up a stink like this? Just like working like from home like it's a vile stench yeah yeah see i i just worked and i worked out you know um i don't really have a natural you know musk too much i do dude it's weird like i remember when i worked yeah you do yeah but it's not yeah it is what it is yeah you don't have to be fucking insulting to me like you know you're just mad that i have a smaller waist than you that i'm taller than you you know like do you have a smaller waist than me i do i think we established this oh yeah

I think we established this. Oh, yeah. What's your waist size? 32. Seriously? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, you're way ahead of me, man.

Mine's like a 37. No way, really? Yeah. Bullshit. Yeah. No, I mean my waist measurement measurement is i'm saying like what size jean like when you go to buy jeans 30 36 no yeah you're like a fit guy i mean yeah i'm just i just i just have a big torso yeah like my hips are really wide my hips are wider than any other part of my body but i guess it's just a matter of scale. Yeah, I was 36 when I was 240 pounds and then I'm 32 now.

I mean I can fit into 30s, but it's like – it's tight. But like 32 is like comfortable. Well, yeah, I have big thighs too. Yeah, no, that's like – Like honestly, like a 36 tends for me to be a little bit loose on the waist. Like I have to wear a belt or like I prefer to wear a belt with it. Yeah. But if I wear a smaller waist size, then I cannot bend my knees.

Yeah, dude. It's like pants like jeans. I just don't even wear jeans for the most part. Unless they're like the baggy, yellow bean jeans that I have. I have a similar problem where like I still have my 36s from when I was heavier. And like they fall off me. But when I wear my, like Ashley makes fun, my girlfriend makes fun of me. Because I wear the 32s.

But it's like European, like French EDM trash jeans. Where it's like, they fit around the waist. But my thigh, like it's like they fit around the waist but my thigh like it's just skin tight on the thighs and then the calves like you can see like where my calf muscle is like if i just it's like a second coat of skin and it's like i the 36 is even with a belt like they're super loose but if i wear my actual waist size which is like a 32 33 and i have really long legs so like like it when i when i shop for jeans when i'm like at a normal weight like a healthy weight which is like 190 to 200 like i'm not leaned the fuck out i'm not like sickly looking but i'm at a normal weight my my my shit is like 32 38 which like like i i like i go to the shop that's your that's your like my waist and then you need 38 inch inseam or whatever no like the length like like like

going down the leg yeah no dude my my legs are short i'm'm all torso. I have, I get, I usually get a 3630. Holy shit. Yeah. It's crazy because you're like, like we're almost the same height, but that's like the, like the, the, that is like the measurements of like a 5'8", like power lifter. Yeah. But you're like, you're like, you're practically like, I think I like but you're like you're like you're practically like i think i have like an inch and a half on you but that's it but it's like you're yeah that's that's crazy i mean i guess like it's it's crazy for me in a different way that like

no i'm i'm built like a short guy but taller yeah no that yeah no it's yeah i mean you you kind of have like a like a shorter stockier i have like a 5'8 build yeah but you're like five yeah you're like six foot almost yeah something like that yeah i i like it's fucked up because like i'll go because also i have i wear a size 13 so like when i go to i don't like shopping for clothes because it's weird. Because I'm like, hey, do you guys have 32-36 at the like best case scenario, worst case scenario, 32-38? And they're like, are you like encrypted? Like it's – and they're like – and I'm like, no.

And they're like, could you take a 34? And I'm like, I can. I just have to like wear a belt. But I don't want to wear a belt. Like in the winter and shit when I wear a lot of button-ups and sweaters, yeah, no. And they're like, could you take a 34? And I'm like, I can. I just have to, like, wear a belt. But I don't want to wear a belt. Like, in the winter and shit, when I wear a lot of button-ups and sweaters, yeah, fine. I don't mind. But, like, when the summer hits, I hate wearing jeans because, like, none of them fit me right. Like, at all.

Like, my legs are so fucking long. And, like, it's like my shit looks stupid as fuck. Yeah. No, it's stupid how proportions are like like why are there this many builds there's no need for it it's just weird like to have like you and me practically be the same height and then like you talk and also like similar weight ranges yeah like like we're very similar sizes yeah i think i like you have more muscle mass than me but like we do exist like we look normal in like a 190 to 205 range like it's just like a normal we're not neither of us are fat we're both kind of fit but

it's like but like my legs are just like i would say you have a lower like i think you healthy for you is a little bit lighter no like like natural resting no for sure i think like yeah you have a you have more muscle mass than i do for sure i'm not even calling it that like i feel i don't know maybe maybe a little bit more but you have like a longer bone structure you have way longer arms than me probably yeah no i my reach is that's like like i don't really like do a lot of strength training when i yeah like when i do kickboxing because it doesn't make any sense it's it's way more like it's more conducive to like sparring success and competition success for me to be like 170 and 61 than it is for me to be like 185 and 61 so like i don't i lift but it's like it's more

like stabilizer muscles like my knees and shit that are already dog shit um yeah but like yes like my i think my body fat percentage is probably like 18 percent which isn't it's not bad it was like 29 it was like ridiculous but uh uh like like i think about some of the guys i train with and like you like you and me being very similar but it's like i know guys that are exactly my height like kind of like your build and they're like 170 but they just yeah they're just they're they're like just shredded yeah they don't they probably have like essential fat like six to seven percent at the most probably more like three or four yeah some guys like try and cut essential fat, right? Or at least some of it? Yeah, so like a lot of it.

I mean, I know that's probably more of like a really serious thing. I know of bodybuilders that do that. So like, yeah, like bodybuilders and like, so I've been like doing, like I've been boxing, kickboxing for a long ass time. So the guys that compete, like when you ufc fighter that fights at 155 they probably walk around most cases there's some outliers most cases probably walk around 190 oh really yes i mean i knew i knew there was a big fluctuation but i was thinking maybe like no 175 or something so the tall guys like there's a guy like max holloway who's a featherweight he's my height he fights at 145 but he's all skin and bone so it's kind of like he probably walks around 180

so it's not that big of a deal but like habib nirmagomedov who was a uh the the undefeated like lightweight champion until he retired he's a 155er only 10 pounds more but he walks around closer to 200 he cuts a ton of weight so much so that he's had issues with his kidneys in the past but it's like like competing at that level like it makes sense and there's been a bunch of people who want to talk about changing the weight classes in the UFC. But it makes sense. Like, if I want to compete in July, but I've been fucking up my diet. But, like, I would look good. Like, I would be really fit at 180.

I'd have to lose, like, 15 more pounds. But if I wanted to compete, I would probably shoot for 170, maybe even 160. And that would make me sick. Like, I would have to lose another 35 pounds which like i like i don't even know what i would look it wouldn't it wouldn't even look like beach it wouldn't even look like jacked good i would look sick but i got like uh like a really bad stomach bug a couple years ago and i thought like i lost so much weight and i was thinking like dude i've got to be like probably like 150 155 right now i hopped on a scale and i was like

i was like 189 i was like yeah no i was like okay so all right and then i gained like 13 pounds in the like three days after i got sick because it was – I mean a lot of it was water weight. Yeah. But – yeah. I like – I talk to people who compete at my gym and they're like, yeah, man, I got to fight on Saturday. I'm like, what weight class? And they're like 155. And it will be like a Tuesday.

I'm like, what are you weighing right now? They're like 178. And I'm like, what weight class? They're like 155. It'll be like a Tuesday. I'm like, what are you weighing right now? They're like 178. I'm like, what? 23 pounds in four or five days? They're like, yeah, it's all water. I'm like, eat my ass. Maybe 10 or 12 of it's water. But they do it.

You put a sauna suit on and you hit the assault bike, like that bike that you crank with your hands and you pedal on. And you do that for like literally not kidding five hours a day. But these are guys who fight for a living. Like that's how they make their money. Like they have side jobs, but it's like they, you know. Like there's a guy who's literally the same exact height. We're like 6'1", right at.

But he weighs 170. the same exact height we're like 6'1 right at but he weighs 170 and he walks around where i'm at currently like 195 to hundo and i'm like how do you do it because i want to get to 170 so i can compete but not a jiu-jitsu fuck that i want to box and he's like oh it's super easy you just kind of like wear a wear like three hoodies all And then you just kind of like run like 10 miles a day. And I'm like, yeah, that's the gayest thing I've ever, I'm not, I am not doing that.

Like at all. Like, what are you fucking talking about? Like, why the fuck would I ever do anything like that? You know? Um, but again,

it's like, it, it is weird. Like, I guess the whole point of the conversation is it's like, it's weird when I run into people, I guess like you or like other people I train with who are like you know like like anywhere between 5 11 and 6 1 anything past 6 2 to me i'm like you're a freak kill yourself and like the difference in

ways is like like healthy for me is like one like where i'm at normal like not skinny fat but like you know not jacked or leaned out, 195. And then I meet guys who are my height, and they're like 220. And they have no body fat. And I'm like, oh yeah, you're like a freak. Like God put you on this earth to kill people. You should be a green beret. At that point, you're just a Terminator, and it's not even impressive.

You should be a green beret or a linebacker. I don't even know why the fuck you're in here sparring with me like what the fuck are you doing yeah it'll be some guy who's like he's 6'4 270 pretty pretty cut and he works at like best buy yeah you've mentioned best buy i that actually like i had i've had this observation the last 10 years and i don't know if it's like a hacky one but i haven't heard anyone made make it before some best buy like attendance are like olympically leaned the fuck out i i best buys fuck geek squad fuck the apple genius store i've gone to best buy to get some headphones and there's like one or two guys there that are like adonis mode and i'm like what do you like what are you doing like i know everyone has to have a side gig but

it's like consistently best buy like guys who either are like they're either they're either power lifters or or or want to be bodybuilders or they're working their way up but like all right hey man do you have a like you know yeti usb mics and the guy's like yeah hold on one second and he's like doing like you know like ab vacuums in the corner like doing like fucking like lap poses and you're like uh what you know and and and i i don't know i best it's the only it's's like Best Buy and Target. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? Like what are you doing?

Like why is this your second gig? Like why is this your backup job? Do anything else. Bounce. It's like cell phone cases and then you still have to eat like 9,000 calories a day. Dude, that is a thing that I like – because I'm always like – cutting, it's like 1850 for me. How many calories you can have? 1850 is my limit, yeah.

Oh, god. But like I will like – I've talked with guys who are bulking either at the gym gym or i box at or just in general like on the internet and they're like yeah i'm at 4200 and i lift weights like two hours a day neither of us understand each other i'm like yeah when i'm like really on it and i haven't been like recently for like various reasons but when i'm really on it it's like i do two two and a half hours of cardio early in the morning and then i am at 1850 and they're like that sounds really gay i lift weights three and a half hours a day and i'm at 4500 neither of us understand each other because the goals are different i guess yeah like well i um Um, with my, uh, like I, I just working a lot, like end up burning.

Yeah. And I was calculating what I need to do to bulk just in case I wanted to, like I calculated everything out and it told me I needed just, just to do like the 500 calorie surplus or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It was like 5,900, 6,000 a day, something like that. And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to do that. No, it's like a chore. It becomes like it's the opposite of the spectrum for cutting, like heavy cutting.

Because when I worked at the refinery, I was burning, like per my app or whatever, like my little thing I had, just walking around and like doing shit, like mechanic shit, like walking around the plant, like 3,800 calories a day. But I was only taking in something like 2,200. That's how I initially lost quite a bit.

I went from like 265 to 230 that way. But like when I talk to guys, like there are guys at my gym. Like one of the guys I train, he's a landscaper. Like he owns his own business. And he's like, I have to eat. Like I have to go to my truck and eat a full meal like every hour and a half to bulk. And he's like 5'7", 5'8". Like really, really, really small.

But he's trying to bulk up to like 185 and he's just like it's like a it's like a homework assignment like he'll weed eat he'll like dig like little like trenches out for shit he'll do his thing and then he'll go to his truck and eat like six fucking hard-boiled eggs and like two chicken breasts and then go back to work. And then the same thing. And I'm like, dude, that sounds awful. And he's like, no, what you're doing sounds awful. Again, it's like a difference in goals.

I'll talk about my goals and he's like, dude, I cannot imagine eating a 200-calorie breakfast, a 300-calorie lunch, a 600-calorie dinner, and then doing three hours of cardio. I feel like I would get sick and i'm like oh yeah i know you do like it like you get super sick like that's like it's not your body's not meant to gain or lose weight at this rate naturally most people's stasis is like slightly overweight i get at least in the states you know at least here yeah yeah i would say yeah um this was a really interesting like last bit that we did yeah i feel like it was it was overall like a much more coherent and decent conversation yeah i think we've done this before we will have like a like a like an episode that's like yeah this is this is a pandandejo time episode for 45 minutes.

And then you and me will get on physique talk. And we'll be like, yeah, no, yeah. You know, being 6'1 and 170 is good for some guys. And then sometimes you're 5'8 and 300 pounds and you look just fine. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's just like no one gives a shit. I don't even, like, again, again i mean it's just a freeway it's a freebie i don't know it doesn't fuck i don't think people mind uh i don't either because

i i really feel like we're just broadening the horizons of the show in that way i don't care about the show you know who cares yeah you know we're really looking into long-term growth and all that and no it doesn't matter but uh folks folks it's it's you know we had a bit of a technological difficulty but we came back and we said you know what let's talk about what it means to be 6'1 and 170 let's let's what does it mean to be 6'1 and have a 32 inch waist yeah being 6. Being 6'1 and 170 to me is similar. You told me that you'd have to get down to – you'd have to get – when I talked about that competition,

you replied to me. I was like, yeah, I'm trying to compete in July in this Muay Thai competition in Florida. I'm trying to get to 170. And you're like, yeah, I need to have ALS to get to 170. 170. I feel like if you were at 170, you would look like... It would be like an action movie star type situation, but you would be near death.

Yeah, I physically would be like... That would be rough, dude. I don't want to. But also, I have a weirdly like hourglass shaped body at that weight like my hips would still be that wide but my shoulders yeah you'd have like yeah shoulders you'd be like you'd have like a thanos build like uh you would just like i like uh you ever see prometheus no no i don't think so. Anyway, like, it would be like, yeah, like, I don't even, when I'm leaned out and I have really, like, I don't even look, I just look really like, like, I look sick. Yeah.

Like, I have a long frame and I have decent muscle mass, but I don't have too much. Like, my lats are really small. But, like, if you got to 170, you would look like a creature, like a cryptid. Yeah. If you got to 170, you would look like a creature. Like a cryptid. Yeah. I would look like a guard of some evil wizard's lair.

Yeah. I would look just like an Uruk-hai or something. Yeah. Already been killed. Yeah. You're depleted. You have a depleted HP. No, I would look like... Have you seen The Hobbit?

Mm-hmm. I would look like that white, like, orc that, like, tries to hunt them or whatever. Yeah. Just, like, some weird, like, gray area between, like, ideal, like, male figure and then just sick and dying. Yeah, I would look like i would like i was like almost hot but i had like a loincloth on yeah well folks uh thank you for joining in to padeo time uh if you like this it's been a pleasure it's been a pleasure if you like this episode uh please go on to patreon.com slash peo time and give us a sub um you know lord

knows we need it lord knows we need to just not have any real jobs me and me and me and thomas we need to just sit here and talk sit here and talk all day all fucking day have technological issues talk about physiques which is normal to do by the way normal anyway bye bye bye