Pendejo Time - psycho wiener mode

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

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penis lives and that's kind of what I do to it when I go crazy mode and I'm going psycho on my wiener I'm doing bad things to it. Do you enjoy being psycho on your wiener? I do bad things and I go psycho wiener mode and I go delicious on it. Okay. All right. Well, I think, I think we could just start the show with that being said. With that mic check.

Yeah. Yeah. We could just, the Dallas show tomorrow would just be like... Psycho wiener man, and I'm going, and I'm going down on it, and I'm going hard down on it, and it's good. A lot of people don't know about psycho wiener mode, but I think it's worth discussing the various techniques that go into being sort of a psycho wiener mode type guy.

When you go psycho wiener mode, it's a lot like when you take the limitless pill. Yeah. Because you get to have sex with an aging girl. Isn't that cool? That was the first thing he did in the movie. He was like, I took this pill and I just fucked a girl who was going to college.

Yeah, I remember. I'm like, you could just take Adderall and do that. I think that there was like this, the scene where he, like, yeah, he's at his apartment, and he notices that she has a law school book in her purse. I'm like, I feel like guys do that. Like, some guys, they do that without the limitless pill. It's just like...

It's just like a rhino pill. It's like, oh, it turned you into a rapist within, like, 30 seconds. Well, like, I'm talking about, like know i knew guys in like in college that would like whatever a girl that they wanted to fuck was into they'd be like yeah man i'm recently beginning into like like like like hot yoga and it's like a guy who like two weeks before was like i'm really into like lacrosse and like so is there like what why hot yoga why big room yoga whatever it's like um well you know it's just really good for you also there's a like a really hot asian girl i think that goes to ut so like the idea of bradley cooper just like noticing things a girl

it's just like being a sociopath like whatever you're into I guess I'll like talk about that and then then I'll realize that you like that and then we can you know I can bag me an Asian wife yeah I've been getting really into my brother dying yeah it's like a really sad like Facebook post like oh you know we we lost we lost Eric and then you're like replying. Honestly, if I had a brother, I don't have one. But if he died, I would be so sad. Honestly, I feel like we all lost Eric. I was so close to him, man. We, me and him, got so close, we used to sexually experiment with each other.

Talking to the front part of the microphone. I got to look like I'm about to go down on it just hold it like this man well yeah eric you have to i have to suck it like a wee wee no you don't have to suck are you saying i have to put the whole thing in my mouth and go crazy psycho delicious gross i don't want to do that it's like hey i told you to buy penis shaped mics for a reason so so I wouldn't... So I could talk into the side of it. Hey, babe, I had a long day at work.

Could you just go, like, psycho demon mode on it? Like, could you just go... Could you go Beazlebub mode on my fucking shit? Beazlebub? Did you guys have the funny names for the devil in church or was it just always the devil we got devil lucifer every now and then i knew the sermon was going to be good we got beelzebub beelzebub is not the devil he's one of the different demons right i understand but like the the princes of hell but yeah asphodel yeah as a rug as as we're goth or fucking belial Asher Roth. Fucking Belial. Asher Roth. Yeah, Asher Roth.

Yeah, Asher. Asher Roth, yeah. Man, I love college in hell, that is. Yeah, in hell college. But enough about Oklahoma State. Enough about Oklahoma State. Ooh. The, uh...

I can start a new laugh he he who when I would be on the bus heading like either to work or like to downtown during the like the Oklahoma UT games

uh there was there was always like people would try to chant like start the OU sucks chant or whatever and there was one time

this kid like drunk like you know had to fucking like polo the ut polo on probably like 2021 he was like the way it would start is someone would go oh you and the whole bus would go sucks or whatever and it was like i don't know like 4 or 5 p.m i guess he was heading to a tail i don't know what the fuck he was doing but he's already drunk and he's in the back of the bus and he goes oh you and there's a brief pause and this guy that was up front sitting next to me he's like 40 50 year old guy just you know looked like he was heading to it he had like a button up on he goes shut the fuck up like I I looked at the kid and he like didn't even I was like oh fuck we're gonna see a bus fight which is some of the

fistfights on a moving vehicle that are going, like, 40, 50 miles an hour. You got to love them. The kid just kind of slumped back into his seat, like. Just fucking. What the fuck, dude? Are you serious? I have to shut the fuck up? No, dude.

That guy should shut the fuck up. I'm not even going to say anything. There was one time. I don't know, I've seen it a couple times, like taking the bus, two guys get into a fight on the bus, and the bus driver, I don't know what their policies are from the city, but every time, and it's not like a ton that I've seen bus fights, maybe two or three, the guys just like, there's two dudes, we're on the feeder road,

right, so we go like 40, 50 miles an hour. These guys are wailing on each other. Bus drivers just straight chilling. And I'm like, there should be like a self-defense class for like, you train, like Muay Thai, boxing, jiu-jitsu, like you train to fist fight

on a moving bus, just to get good at it. But they to throw the emergency brake on. Yeah. I was like, dude, these guys are fucking getting after it, man. I want to know.

Obviously one guy had a, I saw a dude get domed with a guitar one time and it was like, like a, like cowboy Western sound like gang. It was like, it was fucking awesome I was like man I yeah it was an acoustic one no that would kill you

yeah I was just thinking of like a telecast just turning a guy's head into a fucking accordion no it was like a shitty like a homeless guy acoustic guitar like it had like three strings and like all of them just gone. They're all fucked up. I, yeah, I would love, or I did, I love to see that. And I honestly, because I haven't been taking the bus as much in my older years

that I've missed out on opportunities to see stuff like that. But one of these days, maybe we can get involved in bus fighting. I'd love to be a bus driver i think that would be good i wonder how much they let you smoke cigarettes in there in the bus yeah are you sure on my bus so would you have like a soul plane type bus like you just play like old like atlanta hip-hop and like wear a pimp suit i just play, like, old, like, Atlanta hip-hop and, like, wear a pimp suit. I'd play really, like, in the mood music. R&B. It's, like, 7 a.m. And, you know, you get on the bus.

You're going to get on this job that you fucking hate. Yeah. You got to go there. What better way to brighten up your day than Pony by Genuine? What better way to brighten up your day than pony by Genuine? The doors open, you step up, and I'm just jacking my shit straight up in front of you. You get on the bus and Thomas has a fucking, like, a full, like, sear suit on. I got a hole cut out in my overalls. Yeah.

Ashless chaps and a fucking feather boa and fucking, like, usher. You got it, you got it bad. You're smoking a black and mild with a do rag on. Oh man. You're just like, fuck, I got to head to the job site. Dude, I'm fucking hung over. You know, UFC fight was last night. Get on the buzzer.

I've been feeling Marvin Gaye. Just a two weekend. Thomas, you're just like gyrating in the driver's seat. Man, that would be so silly to have a horny bus. Yeah, you could probably have sex on there if you wanted to. What if there...

Hmm. Anyway. You know, hmm. hmm anyway hmm you know hmm hmm every time hmm hmm

anyway uh thanks uh Austin guys came out that was fun yeah that was a cool show

uh I'm sleepy as hell yeah I'm tired as fuck. Yeah, I'm tired as fuck, dude. I, like, it was like midnight and I decided to eat a torta. I was just like, all right, well, I guess this is over. I guess I'm not partying or doing anything. But, yeah, it was a sick show. I was telling you, I was like, I checked telling you it was like i was like i just like

checked patreon i was like we lost a sub like after the show i was like i like the idea this was like man i can't wait to see these guys live i've been listening for a couple months they just literally like five minutes no i can't handle this unsubscribe block but you know it's not about the money here at pendejo time really what it's about is me and thomas forging friendships yeah it's about trying to like make five to ten years yeah make small just depending on how long the money's there i guess you know um make small talk with people uh it's so funny whenever the the bartender's like, or sorry, Matt was like, you guys want to take some shots?

And you're like, no, no, no, no. And the bartender just pours five shots of Jameson anyway, and he's like, you going to take that? You're like, man, I don't. Did you not hear him the first time? They were like, he was just like pointed at you and then pointed at the shot, and you're like. I was like, no, I'm all good, man.

He was like, he looked at me like i'd slapped his daughter yeah i'm like am i the first person you've met who can't drink like i'm not trying to like spit in your face this is a shot that's worth 11 cents yeah it's it's like i you you should have didn't get out like a 20 year bottle of scotch yeah, it was Jameson. You should just honestly, anytime that happens, any of the next live shows that are coming up, just explain the whole thing. You're like, look, if I take that shot, there's not a big chance,

but there's about a 2% chance that I go to jail. It's not a big, it's not an overwhelming number, but 2% to 5%. Yeah, it's like this speakeasy thing. It's like, I'm not gonna go to a an illegal bar to drink diet coke yeah dude that was so funny because i thought so like austin has a lot of like quote-unquote like speak they're gimmicky bars where it's like the one that i go to that i've been to with my friends it looks like a computer repair shop and you put a code in the door and it's a fucking bar and uh it's gimmicky it's cool but all the drinks are like 18 it's fucking you go in

there you're like uh-huh all right the novelty wears off pretty fucking quick and you go to a dive bar down the road anyway i thought that's what that cocksucker was talking about for us i don't mean cocksucker in a pejorative by the way that guy seemed nice yeah whatever but anyway but that gay guy yeah yeah but uh yeah that gay guy yeah no um but. But, yeah, that gay guy. No. But he was like, yeah, no, it's a legit speakeasy. And then the way he described it to me, he was like, yeah, a bunch of, like, local Austin. It was like the fucking, like, the dice tournament from the Dave Chappelle show.

Literally, yeah. He was like, a bunch of Austin comics run it. It's, like, super illegal. It's, like, in a warehouse somewhere. They got dice games. It's all cash you know there's a bunch of austin comics doing something super illegal i'm usually not interested in leaning too much and it's like well the idea that like commit like a bunch of comics got together and we're like i think this guy was probably just talking about some dude's apartment that's what it is like dude is a legit speakeasy it's like

am i just gonna go to some like am i gonna go drink at a guy's house like this is what it sounds like but it's underground it's guarded by the earth people it's got a gate like it's just like it's gated you know you have to have a code el chapo's house pretty much the most legal place on earth yeah we might see some some freaking KGB spies there. I didn't put two and two together, but now that you mention it, it's like you definitely – I was just tired and I had just eaten. You definitely – you have one big reason to not attend anything like that. It's like, well, there's no liquor license.

I can't drink legally anyway. But, yeah, I would love to come to Illegal speakeasy ran by a bunch of Yeah I'd love to get shot by Al Capone Because I'm too much of a pussy to say no to hanging out Yeah I don't know I mean I do appreciate invites No for sure 100%

I want to make it clear I don't want people to stop hanging out with me just because I don't drink. Well, we do. We are planning the Thomas is off probation tour. That will be fun. Yeah. Well, it'll be fun for me. It's not going to be fun for any of you guys.

Jake's going to lose a lot of money off me. I'm not a very good person. At my core, a lot of people think Oh Thomas he's a nice guy No Like You get a few You get a few bud lights in me

I'm I'm a real piece of shit I'm a fucking asshole man I mean I will tear I'll tear apart Friendships that have been there for years I'll rip up the bedrock. Yeah, it's very funny if you get out of probation,

we do a show in New York, and then we just never talk to each other again. I go back and listen to the episode, and I'm like, I'm like, You're just looking directly at me, and you're like, man, I've never liked you this whole time.

I think you fucking suck. I don't think you're funny. I will straight up murder you. I don't even really. When you're like, man, I've never liked you this whole time. I think you fucking suck. I don't think you're funny. I don't even really. When you come to my house, I think about burning it down. You smell like shit. You smell like shit. You dress like shit. You sound like shit. You look like shit. The second thing being you dress like shit.

Yesterday, you actually took me to lunch, and I was wearing hiking boots and one shorts. Dude, when you were walking out of my apartment, I told her and I was wearing hiking boots and one shirt shorts. Dude, when you when you were walking out of my apartment, I told her I was like, he looks like like the paparazzi photos of Adam Sandler where he's wearing like mountaineering boots, but then like blown out and one basketball shirt. Yeah, I was so tired. It's honestly a sick fit. I almost wore that to the show, but I was like, I brought this like collared shirt. I guess I'll wear that

Matt Chrisman's drip is unparalleled he's just like he's just tall white socks Hawaiian shirt he was in pure uncle mode just the uncle that's like hey you ever had a Seagram's just very I'll give you a cigarette too

just sitting you down at like 16 you're like life fucking shits on you the whole time what do you like to play I'll give you a cigarette, too. Hey, man, life just sitting you down at 16, you're like, life fucking shits on you the whole time. I mean, it happened to me, and it'll happen. What do you like to play? You like to play baseball? I played baseball. I played baseball about 10 years.

Made it to minors, but now it's just a lot of pain pills. I'll tell you about a little thing called Settlers of Catan. You ever play Risk? You ever lose $1,000? Do you have a Risk uncle? No, I thousand dollars do you have a Risk uncle no I have a I have a KKK adjacent uncle okay well that's not really

the same thing that I was talking about I would like to apologize to my uncle if he's listening to this because I didn't you know you're not a KKK uncle

you're a good uncle uh no she's a good uncle loves Obama loves her nephews loves Jesus good uncle uh no she's a good uncle loves obama loves jesus and being an uncle he's a good uncle loves baseball wait that's kind of what the theme of the song. Yeah, yeah. Loves your mom's sister. Because he's your uncle. Because he's your uncle.

So that would make sense. That would make sense. I got three, three uncles. I only have one uncle. One Uncle Jake. Yeah. Well, my other uncle was like, so my dad's sister's adopted, and so he's not like, they're not, I don't have any like.

That really probably doesn't mean anything. No, no. No. Well, like, it doesn't mean, well, he was also just like. No, no, no. I see what you're saying, but it's worth repeating that, like, it doesn't mean, well, he was also just like, no, no, no, I see what you're saying, but it's worth repeating that, like, both my uncles are just, like, in their own ways, like, my dad's, my aunt's husband or whatever, like, her ex-husband, he was the kind of uncle that would give you a noogie, but would be the kind that like gave you a concussion like the kind is like hey buddy i mean you know you're you're shaping up being you know getting big and strong playing football and i'm like yeah and he's like oh i'll grab you by the head and just like would just dig his top of his knuckle into my head and i'd be like do i can i kill you

like not in like a creepy way but he just You know Was just like a Good old boy But I was like Can you give me a swirly next Like a fucking Like a wet willy What the fuck is going on here While you were asleep I took all your teeth out

Uncles are bad Hey I heard you had a hard time walking While you were asleep I smashed your tibia bone With a hammer I injected your caprizo With something else. I call it nephew's bane.

I call it nephew's poison. It's mostly toroidal and fucking chloroform, but, you know, I hope you're having a good one. I crushed up a lortab and put it in your smoothie. Sleepy, sleepy for nephew. You're addicted to it now. You're only 12. Your life's over pretty much.

Fuck you. Fuck you. I hate nephews. By the way, i am a racist also that's worth noting that i i told i remember when i turned 18 i told god i ain't cut out to be no fucking uncle please don't make me one you know i'm to be an uncle i'm a single uncle and you think it's easy You know Giving out Christmas presents Every year

Every other year As a single uncle On a date Like on a dating In your Tinder bio Be like I am a single uncle I just want to put that out there

You know My baggage I'm a divorce nephew Of two I'm a divorce nephew of two I'm an uncle of two I don't like I don. I don't like, I don't know what kind of,

because I think my brother's going to have kids for sure. And it will be an accident. I don't, he doesn't, I know he doesn't want kids because he works at a Panda Express and drinks big beers. Shout out to Jaden. But I do think you know, if he does have kids, it'll probably be like

an oopsie daisy. Yeah, from letting that cream slide around Shut the fuck up man That's my brother That's my little baby brother Yeah from getting that little winky in too much You know he's getting serious Poon action dude Yeah

Anyway I would like to think That I would be like Letting it fly like mosquito spray You know Sticking Yeah I don be like... Letting it fly like mosquito spray, you know? Sticking. Yeah.

I don't like you too much. I don't care for you all that much, man. I'm keeping a buck with you. You think he's letting his wieners slide around a lot? Just going to have the talk with your little brother and be like, Hey, man, you're about that age where you're starting to let your tube get a little hogged on. You're at the age where you're starting to let it goop up. You know, you're 12 years old. I know I'm your brother, so I have to give you this talk before Mom or Dad can.

You're going to get your shit gripped on. Wetly. You're going to really get tugged on from the inside. And what you need to do is, you know, sometimes you, you make more deposits than withdrawals with this kind of thing. Yeah. And when you make more deposits than withdrawals,

sometimes you need to pause it in the drawers, you know? Yeah, exactly. And I just, I just figured I'd come to you. I know you're in the middle of English class right now. I know I had to fucking, you know, like, armbar your teacher to get to you.

The school courtesy officer does have a Glock drawn on me now, and I have to make this quick, but you are 12. I need to teach you how to eat pussy good. That's what I'm saying. Because I didn't have— Because I don't want no brother of mine going around eating sloppy pussy. I see you sometimes at the house eating pussy, you know... Badly.

Because you leave those... You leave the... Underneath your door wide open sometimes. I know you keep it locked, but you really need to close that gap. Yeah, you need to seal it up with something. And I see you... And sometimes you don't really need to close that gap. Yeah, you need to seal it up with something. And I see you, and sometimes you don't even have to change the sheets after. Right, yeah.

So anyway, before I get shot by this policeman, I want to tell you that as your older brother, I'm disappointed in your gooping techniques. I'm disappointed in your gooping techniques, your slooping techniques, your slurping, and your glurping. And you need to upgrade all of these before I can. You're going to want some fucking gutters installed on the inner thighs of your baby mama by the end of the year. Because I'm going to show you how to eat it up like a fucking pedophore. I don't know what the, all right, listen.

That was a progress check because Jake didn't know what a pedophore was like three months ago and he still hasn't Googled it. I don't... It's a tiny cake for brunch. It's a brunch dessert. That doesn't... That seems like a...

No, that sounds like a really talented pedophile. No, it's like... It sounds like an upgrade. It's like the French word for petite. And then... Oh, like petit four? Like... Yeah.

But you don't pronounce the second... Please don't Google Petit Four in my house off my Wi-Fi. Petit Four. Our cell phones are fucking... See, look. It's a little square. Oh, okay. A little square cake. My mom got into making them for a while. This was years ago. She also got into cake pops for a while. This was years ago.

She also got into cake pops for a while. Those weren't as good as Peta Force, but they were pretty good. I'm going to keep it a buck. I like cake pops, man. I know it's not... Too much icing. You've got to go light icing and then a rich, moist... I think a big part of it is whenever she was getting her recipe down, I ended up eating so many cake pops in the process.

You kind of desensitized yourself to the pop. Yeah, yeah. Got you. Yeah, that makes sense. And nowadays, that's too much sugar. It's too sweet. Yeah. You know, I like to...

I treat myself to one Dr. Pepper like a month. And whenever I... Maybe... Let's call it two or three. I would like to redact the statement that it's too much sugar. It's just too sweet for me. Like, it's not the sugar itself. I don't care about my health.

It's about the taste. Yeah. I will say that having the Dr. Pepper, or even like any sort of... I don't like birthday cake and shit. But anytime I have any sort of thing that's like that sweet, I do feel like my lungs are filling up with fluid. Yeah, my lungs are filling up with fluid. Which fucks me up because I used to eat a lot of sugar as a kid,

which probably explains why I am the way that I am now. Well, I used to eat a lot of sugar, but now I wake up, I'll have a protein bar or a breakfast burrito, I'll go to work, and I'll have an energy drink, an Adderall, a Rice Krispie treat, a... Honey bun. No, not a honey bun, but I'll get Pop-Tarts. Okay.

And then if we're at a racetrack, I'll get a soft pretzel. God, I love that. Sometimes two. And then, you know, maybe I'll make some oatmeal earlier in the morning. And that stuff sort of combines my breakfast over a two or three hour period. That's not a bad breakfast. I don't eat breakfast. So, I mean, you know, you go.

I'm a big breakfast guy, but part of it is just habit because I have to take my Adderall in the morning and I have to eat when I do it. What happens if you don't? Do you explode like a gremlin? No, I, so. You start tweaking? It's like drinking on an empty stomach. Oh, yeah. And then, like, it amplifies it to a degree

that I don't like, I don't need it to be amplified, you know? And, uh, it also takes longer to wear off. So by the, like, let's say I take it like eight in the morning on an empty stomach, I'm going to feel like weird and like just nervous all day. And then I won't be able to sleep that night. Swag, swag. You know, well, maybe you should stop taking drugs. feel like weird and like just nervous all day and then i won't be able to sleep that night swag swag you know well maybe you should stop taking drugs um and uh and you should stop you know living that sort of hard-partying lifestyle that you're so accustomed to because you're

not getting any younger um you're telling me, pal. For this life I cannot change. Look like Benny Wayne. Pop it. Pop it. Off of Mama Crank. Mama who? I can't remember the song.

It's a Travis Scott song. I don't know. I don't listen to it. I don't know any Travis Scott songs. What's that one song that he had that was big? There's like two of them. Don't you open up that window. Don't you let my little panty show. Sucking dick is all we know.

Why would you... Eating clits is all we know. Eating? Stop. Dude, honestly, man. We should pitch that to try isn't he from houston or is that who am i thinking of he's from the he's from like katie yeah that dude that's awesome or i thought he was from i don't know it is it's no yeah he is i think i thought he was from a leaf i don't fucking know it doesn't matter You can treat me like a bimbo.

You can pull all my hair too. You can feed me lots of pills that make me sleepy. You can bury me in the backyard. He's like pitching it to like rock records or whatever. They're like, I don't know about this song man He's like I'll figure we do this Like we do I imagine Travis Scott is having like

Severe brain damage Like because at this point Like every time I see him on stage He's just like Yeah He always He looks like he just woke up all the time i don't i don't even necessarily i think he's just reached a point in his life where he does not have to think yeah anymore it's all just

like he wakes up and there's like auto-generated yeah for him it's like hey travis you're in the mcdonald's commercial today and you've got a Sprite photo shoot tomorrow. He's like, okay. Yeah. Can I go back to playing StarCraft? Do you... And they're like, yes, here's some Skittles. Do you think... Because I know Megan Thee Stallion.

I think she has a... She has like her own sauce or something for like... I forget which fast food joint it is. Popeye's. Oh, yeah, okay. It's sad. I knew that right off the bat. Yeah, you pulled a trigger on that. The Wendy's I like to go to is right next to

Popeyes. Oh, okay. That makes sense. To order a meal, to go to a fast food restaurant and be like, confidently, not meekly, not like a pussy, be like, yeah, I need that Travis Scott meal, and I need some of the I need some of that Megan Thee Stallion. I want them to start revamping old wrappers,

but make the sauces so good you have to order them. Like, yeah, I need the Beanie Seagull Ranch. It's kind of spicy. And they're like, yeah, we're out of the Beanie Seagull. We got the Freeway Ranch, though. It's like, no, the Freeway Sauce is a Chili Le Mans. It's like, it's not. Yeah.

I really need that proof. Eminem's friend who got shot, I need the proof sauce. Can you give me the Necro Milkshake, please? Yeah. It's like a goopy red color. Yeah, it's vanilla, but it just looks like blood yeah that's actually a good metaphor for who necro most likely is yeah yeah it's just like a like a friend's dad who likes to tell scary stories dude him and like obviously he was more i guess

horror core associated than immortal technique but there was like a type of kid that went to my high school that like lived in the trailer park that i like that i lived in and then moved out of but like he would be listening to it over like skull candy headphones that were blown out so you could hear it at the lunch table and it would be like and i take her to the house and i put in and i and i tie her and then and then she's dead oh spooky and there's bats in my house and worms and little ghosts. And there's a big spider, and he says, I fuck you. Yeah, yeah. And there would be, like, one of the kids, when I took bodybuilding,

which was a class offered at my high school, like, the conditioning coach that ran that class was also the one for the football team. He'd be like, y'all can choose the music that y'all live to. Like, you know, literally it was a class that he would just teach so he could go sit in his office and sleep off whatever hangover he had. Sometimes that kid would get the aux

and he would play that shit, Necro and Immortal Technique and fucking Insane Clown Posse at like 150 decibels. I guess if you listen to it and you're a fan of it, it's super easy. That kid would fucking... But if you're just like, if you if you listen to it and you're a fan of it like it's super easy like you know that kid would fucking you know but if you're just like like if you don't listen to it you're trying to like squat and it's like have you ever been to a haunted mansion where the ghosts fuck you and they make you a spooky ghost my old crew leader used to listen to necro like

in the truck and stuff like it would be like 6 30 in the morning we'd all head out you know still waking up and it would be like off his 6.30 in the morning. We'd all head out, you know, still waking up. And it would be, like, off his phone speaker, like, I hit him and bit him and spit him, and then I get him, and it's a hatchet, and I get him, and I get it. It's an accident. I'm like, dude, it's like, bro, are you? And he was very, like, happy, you know, like, guy.

He was just like, man, this is good. Yeah. The guy that I'm talking about was not a happy-go-lucky guy i think it you know when i was in high school the school shootings had kind of tapered down a bit but i think if he he probably would have had a good run if we would have went to school like you know 2015 2016 they uh i remember when i was like a junior or sophomore in high school i think james comey like just fell asleep at his his desk and his forehead was just leaning on the mass shootings button. Because there would be like three

a day. Yeah. And it'd be like, uh, alright, can somebody wake this guy up? Because this was not one of the scheduled ones. I have a feeling. It'd be like, yeah, there were like two on the same day at the same school. And they just came back and they shot the same people that had been killed before.

No new casualties. So the paramedics revived them. I'm like, are these fucking FBI operatives really even trained? Or are they just getting mall cops? Yeah. I forget if it was Parklanders. I think it was Parkland. But all the right-wing guys were like, we need more armed police.

Yeah, there would be like 45-year-old veterans standing with AKs outside the schools. But the news had reported that, like, all the sheriff's deputies were, like, hiding behind their cars. Like, and then just, like, gripping their shotguns. Like, how do we, like, they weren't doing anything. Yeah, I do remember there was, like, one cop at this, like, elementary school that got shot up or something. Yeah. And it was, like, the security footage. Like, he saw it and then just like got in his car just drove off he's like it was like it was like damn dude yeah i don't because i i honestly feel like like we had a cop at our school growing up but he was i can't really talk shit about the man because he like, now granted he was like, he did not, I don't think he was like one of the cops who was like all in his head is like a hero really.

He was just kind of like a small town cop. He wasn't old, but he was like, I do not want to do any paperwork. He would, dude, that man, I don't know if he's pulled over anyone in the last 15 years. I'm serious. Because I don't think he has a quota. He's a school cop. Yeah. I mean, he's still like a deputy or whatever.

But I remember one time. So our high school was like basically to turn onto the road for it. It was just like a really sharp right angle. A really sharp right angle. Like, there's different types of right angles. Anyway, but I was running late, and I had like 15 tardies already, and we were like 17 days into school, so it was not looking good for me. Anyway, I fucking hit this turn going like 55. Yeah.

And I fucking drifted. I Tokyo drift and damn near take out a mailbox. And I just calmly drive into the school parking lot. And he's just standing out by the door. And he's like, hey, Thomas. You know, if you get in a wreck, then, well, you're just getting up a little bit later to school, you know. Yeah. So, you know, don't do that.

He was like, you know, I don't want to be like, yeah, there's some cops who are just so good. Like, they're so good. Like, I want to suck their cocks. But, like, he was just lazy. But his name was BJ, and we used to call him Officer Blowjob behind his back. That's awesome. But other than that, you know, he's a good guy. Hey, if you're listening to this and you went to the same school as me,

don't, like, show them this because I'm, you know. But, like, there's cops who work for, like, they're stationed at, like, schools and stuff because, like, they did their patrol for a while or whatever, and they want an easy job. These aren't, i'm not saying they're all gonna run away but these aren't like fucking like army rangers you know no these aren't people who run towards i'm not saying they won't die in action i'm saying they're not like if the fucking isis drops down in front of an elementary school this guy is gonna get killed yeah. Yeah. There's that, like,

there was some survey of, like, officer-involved shootings, and it's like they miss, like, seven, like, your average person, like, in a shootout misses, you know, like, 80% of the time or whatever, but a cop is, like, 72%. So it's like,

this is a roundabout number, I don't remember, but it was funny to imagine, like, these guys have to shoot often to, like, get their, you know, to become cops, and, like, they're missing almost, like missing almost like 80 percent of the time like what are they firing at yeah and i think like a big at bigger schools it seems like cops are largely around like to break up fights and stuff yeah well i i went you know i went to i think it was four i think we were four a uh but the cop so when I was in junior high, it was the same cop.

So that guy worked at the junior high and then moved up in his life and worked at the high school that I went to. So the main cop there. So when I was in junior high, this was before, I'm old, so this was before smartphones. People had razors. And so this was before, like, oh, get this on camera. Dude, this this guy his favorite

move was just the body slam like he would he would deal these fuckers out like uh this guy that i like smoked weed with and like which is like a guy that hung out and like always had like dog shit weed but a lot of it um i watched this dude get into like a shoving match with the, with the, like the, the courtesy officer, the school or whatever. And the kid pulls out like the type of pocket knife that you would buy it.

Like, like O'Reilly's like the ones that sit up front, like they're not, they're like this big. Yeah. They're meant for like cutting a piece of twine. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They're not in any way. I mean, and obviously if you pull a knife out on a cop, it doesn't matter you're 13 years old like you're going for a ride or whatever and i was in like eighth grade i think i was like yeah like 13 or yeah and uh the the cop like like rushes him gets a hold of his arms he's got the knife and this is on like like uh like we had like um it wasn't carpet it was just like like hard, hard tile that was, like, in the hallway. Picks the kid up, drops him on his head, and the kid just,

and the cop just, like, stands up and is like, stands up and is like, I told you. Like, look, the kid did have a knife, but he got up like a UFC fighter that just won, like, the lightweight. He was like, I told you I would do it. And I was like, the kid's maybe a buck 20. Like, he was not a big, like, I told you I would do it. I was like, the kid's maybe a buck 20. He was not a big eighth grader.

Some eighth graders, they hit fucking puberty at 13 and start. Some of the kids that played varsity football at my junior high when I was in eighth grade, they were like the defensive linemen. It's like their parents just fed them fucking cheeseburgers their whole life. No, this was just a normal fucking like skater kid. And the cop that worked at our, he was a pretty big dude. And it just like, I remember watching it was like, oh my God, did I just see this kid die? One.

Two, I understand like, you know, you win a fight and you feel good about it. Because, you know, I've lost plenty of fights and I've've won a couple. I guess one is, you know, whatever that means. But you're about, you're 5'10", probably about 250. You just, you picked up, you technically essentially squatted 120 pounds and then dropped it on the ground. And that was a child. Yeah, it's like being really impressed when, like, a bowling ball knocks over a bowling pin.

Yeah. It's like, that's what you are. Your job is to do this. This is what you were built for. Right. It's like, you were fighting fucking 14-year-old Kimbo Slice here. Well, there was, so. Can you imagine Kimbo Slice in high school?

Dude, I would like to think. Well, I can't imagine he went. I don't think he went to school that much by high school. I'm not speaking ill on how the man spoke or anything. I think he dropped out of school pretty early. Kimbo, in my mind, seems like one of the. Like he's at like a private Christian school. No, it's like he looks like one of those guys that look like that even when he was like 16.

Like balding, big beard, you know, like, you know, 6'1", 265. Like he just looks like one of those dudes that, like, probably about 14. Just was like. Imagine being Kimbo Slice's son. His son is a mixed martial artist. I believe it. But, like, you were, like, talking bad to your teacher at school. He shows up and doesn't punish you.

He KOs the teacher. He just tears down the school. It's unclear what his motive was or what he was going for. So there was like a... I was involved in this a little bit, but there was like a slapbox fight club, basically. Was that the one where all the kids would play music off their phone speakers? Yeah, yeah.

That was that one I was telling you about, that the slapbox champion kicked that door in, and that kid was jacking off to manga. And he was like, this homie in here tugging on it. But several times, you get one of the head coaches, and the cop would bust through the... Because we would use the athletics bathroom, which was pretty big,

to slap the fuck out of each other or whatever. And, like, the fun was over when, like, you hear the door get kicked in. It's like, if y'all are in here fighting, you're all fucked or whatever. Like, but, like, I would like to think that the cop and, like, the coaches that would break it up, like, you know, you got to put, you got to turn the voice on. But on the way you're walking in, you're like, man, I wonder if these kids are beating the fuck out of each other. Because, like, I would like to think if you're walking in a bunch of, like, a bunch of kids beating the shit out of each other, you're like, I remember, you know, I went to this school. We used to do the same shit, but you have to be like an adult in that moment. You know, you got to be like, all right, we can't be concussing each other before fifth period.

I tried to start a fight club one time when I was like 18, I think. But I lived with my parents and all my friends did too. And none of us had like parents who this, I'm saying this like it was a downside that no parents wanted a fight club in their backyard. Yeah. But I was like, yeah, we could like do it for money. You know, like we could have a pool and then like,

and I was like, I don't know if I'm good enough at fighting to where I would actually win ever. I think I would, this is just a way for me to consistently, because if I have to host it, this is a way for me to consistently lose like $400 a week. And get grounded probably. Yeah, forever. So what's funny that you mentioned that is,

because my parents, like my dad was gone a lot either for work or, you know, my mom was wherever the fuck. Like I was the guy that hosted that. And like in junior high and high school, like I also like when I started boxing, it was probably like 15 or 16. I had like a couple sets of gloves. had like two months of boxing like training and i did jujitsu for like three weeks at the time um i was like the just the guy that i was when you're like when you're a kid and you have a friend it's like oh you've been boxing for two months you're basically like jackie chan so you run the whole shit i had no i was like refereeing you know and uh we would we would come over to the house with my parents to be out of town and and we would fucking smoke shitty weed off Dr. Pepper cans

and drink a bunch of old Nickelode that my mom had in the garage that was just hot and flat, and we would beat the dog shit out of each other. And because, like I said, because I guess I had the most quote-unquote fighting experience, that I was refereeing kids beating the dog shit out of each other. And I would be like, all right, round one, like ding, ding. I'm not a medical expert.

I don't know how to referee anything, but I was just like the designated, you know. And there were like several times that like somebody would get caught really good, like rocked. And I would have a sobering moment where I'm like, man, you know, what I'm doing right now is like, I'm not going to go to jail or anything, but I could get into like so much trouble. Like, like, like five kids are gonna beat the piss out of each other till like two in the morning. We would get shit house drunk. And that's fun.

Like, that's, that's a fun time when you're a teenage kid. But there was moments or like a buddy of mine would just get his nose busted to fuck and just like, okay, I quit. And I'm like, like man this isn't like a movie where the credits roll like if somebody gets kicked in the head like soccer kicked and they just like there are consequences for this type of thing you know like it's not like three days grace is gonna play and the credits roll and we all like go get dressed like no it's like EMTs, cops, you know. There was a sheriff that lived across the street from me that one time shut the whole thing down. Did I ever tell you about my old grandmaster?

You told me a couple stories about him. Not like the guy I trained directly under, but his master or whatever. Because it's like, I'm actually seeing if this guy is or whatever. Because it's like... I'm actually seeing if this guy is still alive. Is it a Korean guy? Well, yeah. They're all Korean. Not they're all Korean.

It's a Korean martial arts for most of the higher-ups. Yeah. Did this guy die? Oh, no. This is a random guy with the same same name this is a kid who got killed anyway okay um so with with kuki one or whatever it's like you know it's uh what's his name so this this man did you say kuki one no kuki one is the the system oh okay so like uh within taekwondo there's like different organizations per se okayondo, there's, like, different organizations, per se.

Okay. And Kukiwon is, like, whenever, like, basically the Korean masters were like, okay, we're going to bring Taekwondo to the United States. Okay. We need, like, kind of a more modern, but still, like, with traditional elements incorporated. Okay. Anyway, so I didn't meet this guy until I was like approaching my black belt or whatever. His name was, he was known as like Dragon by most people.

His name was Grandmaster Dragon Kim. You can find videos of him on YouTube. And he's about 5'6". He's at least 70, I think. Yeah. He is the most yoked Korean dude I've met in my life. Yeah. 5'6", probably...

185. Okay, so he's a juiced up big dog. He's not juiced, I don't think. I think he's just been training his body for that long. Yeah, like Master Roshi from football. But he had long hair and all that. Anyway, so basically like with Taekwondo, you have like your master, which is the guy you train under.

Most guys who refer to themselves as a grandmaster are just kind of hamming it up. It means you have a high degree of black belt, but what it really means is that people you have trained have started their own schools. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same way in jiu-jitsu but they're not called long term to like be there anyway he was like a ninth degree black belt which is the highest degree yeah like he'd been doing it like 60 years anyway but i remember uh whenever he would like direct classes he would he would do it in a way where it was clear he just liked people beating each other up.

Like he just enjoyed watching it. Right. Like, you know, you'd be sparring or whatever, you'd be running it, switching off, and then he'd be like, all right, three on one. And it would be like, wait. It's like an understood thing in martial arts

that like two people, you know, like, two on one, maybe, like, maybe you win if they're both kind of unexperienced. Yeah, and if you get a good shot. But, like, the main goal is still getting away. Run away, yeah. Three on one, it's like, hey, you're going to lose. You're going to have badly. You might die. The move is to get away from them And maybe get

Like get them a little bit away from you Yeah And then like get the fuck out of there Yeah But for my My black belt test or whatever You know you've got like It starts with like an hour of meditating

Like a cotta and shit No like complete silence Okay And you're on, you're basically sitting like with your legs folded like on the ground. Not crisscross applesauce because that's too easy.

Or like lotus position like fucking with your feet to feet or whatever. Yeah, like, like with your knees up front and your back perfectly straight, eyes closed, hands on your knees.

Anyway, it sucks, dick dude. I hated it. I just kept thinking about finding nemo the whole time you're supposed to have like a clear conscience clear mind everything and i was just like and then nemo goes missing and marlin's got to find him so then he goes he meets the turtle yeah he's dory and that was just sort of going on in my head the whole time yeah but anyway i i remember for my black belt test, he was like, all right, fight these two black belts.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, of course. Sure, okay. Yeah, that's what I've been training to do. Yeah. And one of them I kind of didn't like. I don't think he listens to the pod. If he does, James, fuck you, dude. I never really liked you that much.

But I just sort of like adrenaline kicked in, and the other black belt I was fighting was a woman. And so it's very hard to be fighting two people very differently. Yeah. Because, like, obviously this woman is a black belt in Taekwondo. She knows what she's doing. Yeah.

And she could kick my ass if I wasn't paying attention. Right. But I'm not gonna be, like, throwing really hard kicks just because it would, you know, it'd be kind of

unsportsmanlike. Fucked up, yeah. So I'm, like, throwing, like, little, like, tiny little like quick taps on her and then I'm just

over-adjusting and just kicking this James guy in the fucking head as hard as I can which you're not supposed to do but like

he wasn't that good at sparring because he kind of just got like one of those guys who just went to Tiger Woods so long

that eventually they gave him a black belt not that he couldn't do anything but like you know and so I would like I would throw like a little and then I was like right in the fucking head.

Like it's like snapping over. I'm like, all right, we got it. Just more. Anyway, there were the fucking. Hey, Dolly. When I was training in my old gym in San Marcos, I would I had a schedule that I could go to the 9 a.m., like, competitor,

like, the pro class. And all these people that were in the class, they were fighters. And Pony, the coach there, would like,

you know, he'd be like, hey, are you coming to 9 a.m.? Just because, like, some of them were younger and,

like, were either wrestlers learning how to bop, but they were people who fought amateur or pro or whatever. And, one of them was a girl who fought you know in like women's MMA and uh we would be sparring like like kickboxing sparring white tie sparring and the coach would be able to tell that I'm holding back and now this girl I think she fights at 125 and at the time I was still losing weight so I was

probably like 210 205 210 and he would get mad as fuck because he would I gotta be pulling punches or like if I would like if we were doing mixed martial arts like I would go to shoot and like take her down but I would pick her up like I was like and then I would like layer that like without fucking he's like she like thick Brazilian action like Like she's fighting. You don't, you, you go hard. You have to go hard. She has to. And I'm like, here's the thing, man. Yes. She's a fighter, but she's fighting women that are also 120. Like she's not fighting heavyweight men. She's not fighting like light heavyweight, like 205 pound guys. But like I would, and I would look at her and she's like, no, it's okay. And I'm like, no, like I'm not trying to be like a, like macho man here i'm i am not a

professional guy but i've been doing it a little longer i don't compete but also even if i hadn't been doing it i'm like almost 100 pounds on this person and so like he would be like a regular guy slamming a woman yeah yeah you know it's still not good yeah You're telling the cops, like, no, I don't even do martial arts. Yeah, I just dumped her on her head on concrete. And so he would be like, no. And his logic in his head was like, if she beats you, then she can beat a girl her own size. And I was like, that is a really, I a really i guess like you know good way of thinking

about it kind of but also like i'm not gonna hit this girl as hard as i can yeah like it's just not gonna happen that's also not taking into account is a girl her size who's competing is going to be so much faster than any 210 guy no exactly yeah like i could be hitting the bag than any 2-10 guy. No, exactly. Like, I could be hitting the bag every day, dude. Six hours, speed bag, doing drills, agility stuff. I'm never going to be as fast as, like,

a 100-pound girl who works at Waffle House. That's just not how my body is shaped or worked. I'm not saying there are guys who are bigger who can't be that fast. I'm saying me physically. I'm not even using are guys who are bigger who can't be that fast I'm saying me physically I'm not even using you as an example me personally I'm slow as shit and I know it and I could be

150 pounds I'm slow as fuck I don't have the muscle twitch fibers or whatever it was funny to like standing across from this person and your coach is like you know don't hold back you have

to and like you increase your percentage in your power like maybe 5% and you're like alright there it is and he's like no spar how you spar me and I'm like absolutely like what do you think like first of all this person has a fight coming up so I'm not gonna like second of all there is a part of her labor yeah put her in a heel hook and rip her fucking acl off you know

bite her carotid artery out this is how mixed martial arts works and uh like to this day like but i had the there was a guy that trained there part-time who uh who did go hard with the girls in class and he was pretty good but his he was like yeah you know like you really gotta you can't go easy on them because you know in the real world like if a guy really does like bum rush them like they gotta know what that power feels like and i'm like man i feel like the way that you said that you smiled a little too much and it's less like trust me when you fight, they usually don't know what to do. Most women are really bad at fighting.

Especially when you pretend you're not going to fight them, and then you do. When you just act all calm, and then you just rush in. You just fucking molly whine. Just throw them across the fucking kitchen counter. Most women, you'd be surprised how badly they handle that. We would be talking after sparring or whatever, we would go lift weights because there was like a, like a, like a lifting weight gym attached to like the main place where you hit bags and sparring shit.

And he's like, yeah, you know, you really got to like, you know, it sounds, it sounds mean. I'm not saying it to be mean. I'm, you know, but, uh, and he would be like, but you gotta, you know, cause he's like men out there, they're real bad. So you gotta like prepare them, you know, you can't, you can't pull punches. And he would kind of like this smile would form with it, but it would be a little, would he be like, can't pull those punches, man.

I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I understand what you're saying a hundred percent. I don't agree with it, but I also don't think you believe what you're saying. I think you just like to hit women. For me, it's a part of my brain that I, even in a competitive sense, I don't think I'm interested in rewiring. Right. 100%. Because there's guys who are not wired that way. And I don't know if they are, but they should be attempting to rewire their whole lives.

I'm not going to be like, no, dude, it's okay to just punch the shit out of a woman in this context. And kick her in her head and slam her on the ground. I'm fine with not being willing to do that. Yeah, yeah. It's the same guys who are like, well, if women want equal rights, the first thing they go to is, I should be able to punch them as hard as I fucking can. I remember there was a debate class that we had in my high school that like this English teacher Who like one of those well-meaning teachers?

that they like want kids to like really learn and read and really all kids in high school in America want to do is like Drink a beer and like you know smoke a cigarette and you know you know skip class whatever the fuck and so we and it was open. You could come after class and do these debate things. And one time, one of the things, I was in the debate club class proper, so I would go and it was easy to just fucking something to do after school if I didn't have anything going on.

And one of these kids showed up like and uh he was like all right today's you know we're all going to be talking about like you know like women's equality and like you know how about you know blah blah blah and so i took like the pro side and this person took like you know why it's you know like why women should be like i guess like not equal to men or whatever and this kid was so excited to have that position. I could tell. And one of his first points he makes was the very classic internet,

like, well, you know, all of this talk about equal rights. Well, if a woman pushes me or is mean to me, why can't I just knock her the fuck out or whatever? And the teacher's like, we're talking about pay increases.'re not talking about like there was uh i think it was a few months ago so there was a transgender wrestler who uh uh competed in yeah was like i did you see that like it was like mid-transition and taking testosterone and was like, hey, please let me compete in the male division because it would not be fair to the girls.

And also, obviously, I'm a man. And the officials were like, you can't do that. You're going to compete with the girls because we think you're a girl. And then just destroyed in the women's division. And then people were booing him. And it's like, what do you want then? Yeah. Do you want?

Right. This is what you asked for. You have a human. This is a talented wrestler. Because, like. You have a woman. I mean, you have, like, a woman's division. And then you have a human being that is on TRT.

And so you have high school girls who are wrestling, and then you have a man on— Yeah, I understand. I understand, like, especially if it's like a culture—I don't know where this took place. I don't remember. I think it might have been in Texas, which is like— Makes sense. Obviously, there's going to be hooting and hollering. Right, yeah. But like—, there's going to be hooting and hollering. Right, yeah.

What do you want to happen? It's like this person was trying to compete in the correct division, and you said they couldn't. Yeah. So it's like. Of course they're going to wash the entire fucking squad wipe. Yeah. That's like if you make me fight in the 120-pound women's division boxing, I might do some damage here and there that i didn't set out to do right um it it is now saying that i also might get my ass whooped yeah most likely

but you know what i'm saying dude i i love i think i've talked to you about this before but i have gone to several like uh like big big get-togethers where people i know like close friends of mine and then their friends and friends of friends to watch ufc fights some guy's house you order a bunch of chicken wings drink some beer have a good time there's always one guy who you kind of know that's there and when the women start fighting they're sitting down and then unprompted they're like yeah i mean i could beat like all these women like to death like it would be no problem for me or like not that bad but they're like yeah yeah i could beat, like, all these women, like, to death. Like, it would be no problem for me. Or, like, not that bad, but they're like, yeah, I could beat all these women up. It would be like a 15-second first round.

Yeah, and they're like, of course, their belly's heaving. Like, they're red. They got meat sweats. And I remember one time I was, like, kind of drunk. And I was like, you know, hey, man, I'm not trying to start, like, an argument or whatever. But, like, the worst female fighter on the UFC roster would just fucking tune you up like a cheap guitar. And he was like, got really defensive.

He was like, fuck no. Like, like, like, first of all, I've got like a hundred pounds on every one of these women. And I'm like, okay, fair. Uh, and I was like, what else you got? Like, what else is in your like debate chamber for this? And he was like, and you know, like these women, like they don't even hit that hard. Like, you know, I would just take it on the chin and then take him down and i'm like if it doesn't matter how big a person is if somebody can kick you in your head with shin to chin you're gonna

go to sleep like they don't that you're you're it's like somebody hitting you with a baseball bat in the head now obviously if a guy's 205 pounds i got like john jones or like a like a male light heavyweight it's gonna do more damage You might get your skull cracked. No one's arguing that Francis and Ganu would do badly in the women's division. That's not what's happening here. We're not saying that they should be pitted against each other. We're saying you work for H&R Block. You are not even in the equation here. Women train to fight guys like you.

Yeah. Because they know they stand a chance against guys like you. Because you are a piece of shit. And when, okay, here's, I have a bone to pick with the term dad strength. Because, so guys would be like, nah man, like, you know, I don't lift stuff like that. I don't really take care of my body. I mostly drink, like, Diet Pepsi. I eat curly fries.

I also have not had a physical, like, labor job since I was 16 years old. I'm 35 now, but, you know, I got dad strength. It's like, you actually don't. You don't. What dad strength refers to is guys who have just been, like, working on cars, just doing carpentry and stuff for 20 years. Like workman strength. That builds long-term muscle that doesn't really go away that much. And even those guys aren't looking to fight women.

Some of them for sure. That's actually what some of them are training for. Some of them love to fight. There's guys who do masonry for 40 years just so they can throw a mean haymaker at their wife. Yeah, exactly. And we're not talking about those guys. But when you work in like, if you work in an office, that's perfectly fine. You can still like do weightlifting and stuff, have whatever, dad strength.

Yeah. If you're just letting your body wither for 30 years, it's not magically building up. You're not magically going to be. Yeah, you have the testosterone levels of, like, a 95-year-old woman. A squirrel. Yeah. Yeah, there are raccoons in heat that have more testosterone than you. It's the same guys who, like, I remember, like,

you hear a lot about, like, high school and then, like, within, like, you know, people are like, yeah, when I fight, man, I just see red, bro. Like, you know, I don't, like, I don't train none of that stuff, but, like, I just start, I see red, I get so fucking mad that I just don't know when to stop. And I'm like, hey, man, I don't know if that's true. You probably are a pussy. Yeah, but also what's likely going to happen in a fight is you're going to circle for a while. They're going to go in one time.

Maybe you have one little exchange, and then you're going to have an adrenaline drop an adrenaline drop yeah that like you're gonna get in and you just you're down yeah the fucking the the idea that like and i think there is a certain type of guy and it's like the newer version of the of the dad or uncle that's watching nfl and it's like i don't know why he didn't just run a route i don't know why i'm a guy making 20 million a year who runs a 440 just like and then like the uncle fat uncle on the couch like i don't know why that guy didn't just run a route. I don't know why I'm a guy making 20 million a year who runs a 440, just like, and then like the uncle, fat uncle on the couch, like, I don't know why that guy didn't just, you know, you got to duck around, hit the spin move. That's what I would have done. The same type of dude, but a different generation. It's like, yeah, you know, these girls are pretty good. Uh, I know they train their bodies and minds to be, you know, elite martial artists.

They starve themselves. They lift weights. They can run, you know, five miles dead sprint without stopping. They eat fucking clean. Uh, they have mental coaches. They have, you know, I know that they, some of these women have been doing it their whole lives, but me, you know, a guy who thinks about killing himself all day, working, working for, you know, the HR department, I could easily, easily like take seven of them on, you know, at one time time and it would be bad for them because I'm a big tough I'm a Ford truck man whatever the fuck which like you know

if you're one of those guys and you're listening to this show thanks you should check out the Patreon if you're here from the Chopper Show I appreciate it thank you for checking it out if it's not for you thank

you for checking thank you for checking it out anyway uh we don't talk too many politics on here but uh also i just wanted i know i probably shouldn't say this you guys fucking stank last night you smelled bad i had to go dude i had to go get a diet coke and there was a stench around that bar that i could not dude it was like a locker room. And I know you guys don't do shit exercise-wise. But goddamn, y'all smelled awful. I mean, I didn't even take a shower before I went there

and I was one of the best-smelling motherfuckers there. I mean, y'all need to work on that. Other than that, it was a nice crowd. Except for that one guy who just kept being like... Yeah! I mean, but I guess it was... Every crowd has has one a guy who's like send nudes or whatever i feel like you shut the fuck up dude go fucking jack off in your car

do not come out these are the type of guy who just can't go out in public just doesn't need to be changed gets one beer and then you can't even be around your girlfriend. Yeah, or any member of the opposite sex. All right. Yeah, bye.