Pendejo Time - sniff and lift

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

little cocaine little bit of adderal little bit of pre workout time to hit chest. Support the Show.

And we're off. What's up, man? It's been about a week and a half. A week. A week? I don't fucking know. Yeah, I think last Wednesday, something like that. We try to avoid talking outside of the show because we feel like it really ruins things.

Yeah. We always try to be fresh and funny for you guys every single show. Yeah. We really try to bring the heat every fucking time. So we try to keep our conversations to a minimum. We were just talking about how we'll be like, hey, how's it going, man? And, you know, it's always, you know,

that's fine, I guess, but, you know, there's always something. Thomas almost lost his eye. I wasn't that close. I've had much closer calls than that yeah what uh what was going on with the car so you know uh you know how somebody hit it yeah so i got off amazon i was able to get replacement parts for fairly cheap it was only like 110 bucks i was like you know what that's not bad um because i thought replacing that rear taillight was going to be a i always say rear taillight like i have

taillights in the front anyway i thought that taillight was going to be super expensive but it wasn't right anyway so i've never replaced a mirror before but that wasn't going to stop me from not looking at any directions. Right, yeah, yeah. So I get in there. I pop off this one little thing like where a door speaker is because I figure out that I'm like, this is probably the only way to get to those bolts or whatever. Well, I'm having trouble getting to those bolts,

so I'm like, well, I guess I got to pop off the door panel. Now, I've never popped off a door panel in my life, but I got me a crowbar, and I sort of did pop it off in a way. Right. But that was mostly me, like, bending the whole door panel. Mm-hmm. Like, I just sort of grabbed all the edges of it and kept yanking it and holding it over. There was no nuance or subtlety to your approach?

No, and then about 15 minutes into this, I look, and there's one screw that I had to remove to just lift the door panel off. And so I do that, and then it just you know it comes off i put the mirror on then i realize i have to unscrew the bolts because i got to put this other little plate on to hold the speaker thing i do that oh by the way i didn't realize i had uh i had wiring in my mirrors so i had to figure out the wiring oh because yeah because of the fucking... Yeah. Yeah. I think I got that figured out. But anyway, so I'm like, okay, that went surprisingly well, sort of.

Yeah. Other than the fact that the inside of my door is, like, rusted out somehow. I guess I just spilled, like, ketchup in there or something. I don't know. Yeah. But I'm like, how do you get rust here? You, like, half finish a monster and, like, just threw it. Yeah. At some point, yeah. It'd been... I don't know. Yeah. But I'm like, how do you get rust here? You like half finish a monster and like just threw it. Yeah. At some point, yeah.

It'd been, I don't know. But so I sort of, I'm like, yeah, that'll work. I've got a mirror on there now. The bolts didn't quite line up because I guess the door itself got bent. And I was like, yeah, it'll be fine. Yeah. And so I go to put the door panel back on, and I immediately realized it is not the same shape it was.

I had a long day today. I got off work late, and I just fucking destroyed that thing. It popped back into place somewhat, but I bent it so bad that I can't screw it back into place but it is it is in the door it's sort of in the door but like i could probably lift the controls for like the windows like out of it okay and i also because it wouldn't pop all the way into place i have a speaker on my driver's side that doesn't have a little cover on it. It's just hanging down. So I don't know if it's going to be quieter or louder, but we'll see tomorrow when I have to go to work.

I also got a flat tire, but I'm just going to keep driving on it. I've been driving on it for like two weeks, no problems. Dude, I've had a slow leak in my front left tire for like, I'm not kidding, two and a half, three years. And I have the money to replace the front left tire but i hate going to discount tire and i hate spending money on tire i don't i just don't every time i go to discount tire there's always somebody in front of me that's like i will kill every motherfucker in here and the discount you gotta find like a mom and pop shop yeah no tires well like around in

austin there's just not like in Houston. They're on every fucking street corner, especially in Pasadena and Austin. Nah, I have not, not even in the suburbs or like, like in the fucking body or whatever. None,

nothing. Um, back where, and where I'm from in Pasadena, there's like a, like a fucking, you know, like use tire shop,

like every fucking 10 feet. They're like connected to liquor stores, but, uh, every, I have to go to discount tire and i i understand i think everybody who walks in there because it's annoying to go there usually you're pissed because you got a flat tire but everyone walks in there with like a boomer like like haggling mentality where the discount tire guy stout like five four you know hispanic dudes like that'll be 455 uh before tax and the person's like i'll no and they're like all right well it's not it's not like a

negotiation here you know it's it's there's anyway i go there but i've had a slow leak and uh you know my girlfriend's like you know that you drive back and forth to Houston like so much and you go up to Round Rock and you fucking drive all over the state. You go to Thomas's. The more. Well, here's the thing. Whenever you get out on the freeway, your tires expand. So the only way to keep a flat tire from going flat is to drive, you know, 400 or so miles on it. Right.

In a weekend. Exactly, yeah. Because when a tire expands and it's got a slow leak, it's good for the leak. And it's really good for the tire. Right. I'm going to text you like, hey, man, I'm heading out at like 9 in the morning on a Saturday. And you're just never going to hear from me again. Like, just never.

And like, you'll be like, I mean, I guess he just didn't come, you know. Monday rolls around, nothing. I'm like grilling or whatever. I'm like be like, well, I mean, I guess he just didn't come, you know, Monday rolls around nothing. I'm like grilling or whatever. I'm like, yeah, well, extra steak. Yeah. Yeah. Extra steak, extra wings. Next week you text me, Hey, what time are we doing a show?

Nothing. Wednesday, nothing. Two years later, you find out I died. And it's like, well, you know, sometimes I, I DM your girlfriend. I'm like, Hey, do you have Jake's bank information? I was just going to switch over to my name. I think he's getting tired of, like, dealing with it. So I just figured I'd take it on.

She's like, he's been dead for two months. And you do this. I'm like, no, I was going to put, like, half of it into, like, probably, like like a learning program and then the other half to like Ethereum Latino Studies and then the other half I was going to have and also the other

half the idea that like there would be like a month of Patreon money and then maybe like a second month of a little bit and I'm like I'm dead in the dirt dude and you're like man i'm so sad my friend jake is dead uh does anybody have his routing number there is zero i mean zero chance i would stop the show if you died i hope you know no this is my

only way out i was no it's saying I have no other exit strategy. If you died, I guess I would have to do like a liquor show with Kurt. Like I would have to do like a whiskey show and like a kickboxer. If you die, I have to actually finish college. Like not even as a joke. I have to go back to college and do the classes. It's funny that you and I have put so much stock into this show, but we don't really do

anything we have zero other aspirations other than like magically getting rich yeah finding a bag of money on the ground there's like a hundred million dollars yeah we're like we're like two homeless guys trying to split a five dollar bill yeah well like who's gonna be rich we put so much like fantasy and imagination into this but every time we start the show, we're both like, yeah, I haven't filled out the corporate measures. I really haven't talked to anybody. I don't know. I forgot we had a show until just now.

I was just thinking about how cool it would be to have an old Eldorado. Yeah, I was thinking about an El Camino with an LS SWAT and putting a big engine in it, and I hope it costs $1 and not fucking $30,000. I was thinking about churros. Yeah, but if one of us dies, the show... We picked the worst. We both picked the worst person, life expectancy-wise, to run this out.

You almost die every day at work, and I just don't pay attention to anything and I did too many drugs. I eat too many chicken wings. Also, the other day I was just

walking downtown and looking at my phone. I'm not jaywalking because I'm impatient i just like i'm not paying attention and i almost just get clipped by an suv and the guy's like honking his horn you know i probably scared him because he almost killed somebody but in that moment i was like hey man watch where you're going you know but i i was just like man that's a really cool picture of the of a sable a weasel that I saw on Felix's account. I wonder if it has an Instagram. Oh, it does have one.

Sick. And I found a pig too. Boom. Dead. Two months later, you're due. What a way to go. Well, luckily for the both of us, we're both going to figure out the paperwork business side of the show. We're both businessmen.

And I would say my strong point is probably numbers as well as preaching as well as email i'm a logistics guy i'm really good at figuring out how to contact accountants uh and uh like sba officers at my bank who i don't i hope that that like account thing doesn't i got never mind it's not fucking important i'll have to figure it out but i'm like does that expire like the lady's email to me like hey we can set it up whenever you know i don't know it's not important it's not interesting either uh i went to the bank the other day and i said I'd like to open a credit card with the credit union. And they said okay what's your credit score?

I said I don't have one yet. And they thought I had some type of learning disability. And I was like well how do I I don't have a credit card. How do I get I want a credit card so I can use it to buy stuff, which I'll pay back.

But that's how you build credit is you get a bunch of credit cards. It worked really well for me, like super good it worked for me. I honestly don't. I'm not even going to ball out or anything. I just need to build credit. So I have to do like a fucking secured loan or whatever. I'm like, dude, this is all gay entry-level shit. I'm not an ice queen. I have a podcast, dude. I'm like, dude, this is all gay entry-level shit. I'm not an ice queen.

I have a podcast, dude. I'm a proud small business owner. Yeah. I filed my paperwork with the state kind of. Not like barely. I can go talk to the comp troller if you want. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what that is?

I'm like, I know it's who controls the comp. Yeah, he trolls the comp. That's what he does. Yeah, you don't want to comp with the troller, you feel me? And they're like, you don't have a checking account. What are you doing? I had a 480 credit score, which is super good. And I paid some stuff off, and I got it up to like a 605.

And then just recently it went up like another six points. So I'm at like 611, 612 or something, which is fucking abysmal. It's dog shit. I literally got like $7,000 in credit card debt. They tried to settle a bunch and I was like, no, like I'm not even going to settle for like you've been robbed, you know, like you've been stolen from and I don't care about credit. I'll make it work. I'll find an apartment that has like a big bug in it and like've been stolen from and I don't care about credit. I'll make it work. I'll find an apartment that has like a big bug in it and like a lot of rats.

I don't really care. But ever since I broke into like the 610s again, I get ads like emails and letters that are like, you know, credit. You're eligible for like our fucking, you know, not even secured like a full blown credit card. You're eligible for our fucking, not even secured, like a full-blown credit card. And I'm like, do y'all not, just because this shit went off my credit report because I didn't pay on it, if I get this from you, I'm going to not pay it. I am one of my dumbest but most principles I stand by is I do not pay debts to lenders. I do not pay student loans, and I do not pay credit card debt,

and I don't pay secured loan debt. It just, I don't pay it. You've been robbed. So I'm probably going to get a credit card again. Fuck this, fuck it, why not? Dude, the fucking, the bank lady that I talked to was like, you can get a business credit card. And I was like, me and Thomas do not. Because there's so much shit we should buy for the show,

but I could totally see us being like, can we write off Twin Peaks? Can we write off UFC Fight Nights? We could. Can you write off? It's a business expense, right? Could I write off an El Camino? If we go on tour and we drive in an El Camino, yes.

Yeah. I think technically, yeah. Yeah, I think technically. If we made it like and we drive in the El Camino, yes. Yeah. I think technically, yeah. Yeah, I think technically it works. If we made it like a tour bus thing. Yeah, if we podcast it. We could get a Sprinter van just to jack off in. Yeah. Not even do the show in it, like a touring show.

No. We just have a big hole in the side that we fuck. Yeah. We don't jack off in it. We can't even afford to put gas in it. Yeah. It's like an $85,000 Mercedes Sprinter van. Yeah, I don't jack off in it. It doesn't, we can't even afford to put gas in it. Yeah. It's like an $85,000 Mercedes Sprinter, man.

Uh, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I know that all, the only thing a credit score is, is like how profitable you are to lenders. Like how,

but again, I don't like, I'm not, I shouldn't get one, but there are, there's stuff, there's fucking gizmos. I want to buy gadgets.

Uh, I love gizmos and gadgets i love gizmos i'm more of a trinket guy trinkets you know novelties uh bubbles bimblets stuff like that you know uh knickknacks gotta love a good fucking knickknack i love knickknacks i also love nooks and crannies on an unrelated note uh the other day actually fucked that up and said crooks and nannies and i was like that is such like a like a solid mixtape name you know like a like a drill mixtape crooks and i was just like did you mean nooks and crannies and in my head i was like if i was a rapper again fantasy like my brain works

this way it's like dude if you were a really good rapper that would be like a really like just a solid you know like a slick mixtape and it wouldn't even it would be the dumbest fucking thing anyone had ever made no it would be a good like festival trap dj name yeah yeah good for like 2016 yeah dude did you hear that dude crooks and nannies is opening up for snails snails uh the alchemist well that's actually a guy so is snails snails is a guy oh i a dj sort of like um um flostradamus okay i used to be into that stuff in high school

i was really into flying lotus not white lotus to show flying lotus i was into uh obviously like mad lib like anything that he's on you could have a dude like you could get a homeless guy off the street and be like, hey, go on a Mad Lib album. And he's just like, I'd be like, dude, this shit's hard as fuck.

I fuck with this pretty heavy. I'm one of those types of white guys, you know. Kind of like a. One of those types. I'm kind of like a conscious rap fan. You know, I like lyricism. I like, you've probably never heard of them, A Tribe Called Quest and The Far Side. You've never heard of them.

Yeah. Yeah, there's no fucking way you've heard of them. Yeah, yeah. I really, I like them. I highly fucking doubt you've heard of them, dude. MF Doom, I don't think you've ever heard of anything like that in your life. Yeah, he died, so you're a little late to be liking him. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I didn't know he died. I didn't know he died. I won't even show you uh one of his albums because he's dead now he's dead and you're gonna look like a real cunt if you start liking him now there's uh did you see the joiner do you know who joiner lucas is yeah he made a rap song about having like add that fucking rules and the music though, I don't understand why they did this, but it's a bunch of troops, like, in the desert. I don't, they all look like operators.

I know exactly why he did that. Why? Joyner Lucas is one of the top artists in the U.S. military. Is he really? That would be very funny. If that's true. Military guys love Joyner Lucas. Yeah.

Tom McDonald. Yeah, I see what you're, exactly, logic. Tech Nine. Yeah, yeah. Military guys love Joyner Lucas. Yeah. Tom McDonald. Yeah, I see what you're exactly logic. Tech Nine. Yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. Bro, have you ever heard Worldwide Choppers? That shit goes fucking hard, dude. They can rap so fast.

The, uh, I don't know. It seems like everyone had a universal experience with somebody showing them Immortal Techniques dancing with the devil in high school. That was... Everybody I talked to was like a guy showed them that this is real deep lyrical stuff. Tells a really scary story. And I listened to it and I was like,

am I supposed to be like... It's disturbing, but it's hit-hits. It's kind of twisted. I was like, this shit's gay. This guy ends up like... I never had one of those experiences because I'm from a different generation. That's true.

You're way older than me. Compared to me, you're an old-ass man. Yeah. I'm young. I'm spry. I'm in my 20s, dude. I don't know if it's younger millennials, people who are 25, 26, 27, 20, whatever.

I'm seeing like an increasingly like large number of people my age or like that are entering their 30s that are like i don't think my generation is like gonna do well with their mortality like because they're like i'm so old like i don't understand anything like i don't get it i'm like i don't think anyone's ever done well with mortality it's kind of the nature of the beast. Right, I understand. But to broadcast it, it seems like they're hamming it up. Like, I don't know. Like, damn, that's on fleek?

I don't know what that means. Uh-oh, Thomas has disappeared. No, I've got to grab a tissue. Oh, did you bust one off in your jeans? Yeah, I was having sex with the microphone. Oh, well, that's classic stuff. Yeah. You want to listen?

Like that? That's gay. That's a gay sound. Dude, fuck you. You don't know shit about Jack, dude. I'm going to... I don't have the energy for it today, man. I'm going to come to your house and I'm going to fuck you to death.

I'm going to come to your house and do the show in a couple weeks. Yep, you are. I've been trying to get tickets to Stav's show. He's going to be in Dallas someday. He added some more and I managed to get the last table. They didn't have any general admission. I got a table, and I felt like, for some reason,

like a fucking big-ass baller. Yeah. It's just literally a table. See, it's four. And I was like, you know what? I can afford a table. I've got it like that. I've got 80 bucks. Yeah, I've got $80. I've got it like that. I've got $80.

Yeah, I've got $80. I can do anything, dude. I'm probably going to, after the show, I'm probably going to go back there and just hang out. You know, everyone's going to be there. He's probably going to have me up there with him for the show. He'll let you open. The opener's canceled.

He's done for. The opener, who I know, he's done. Solid guy. Joey, good guy. Joey Bologna. He's out. He's solid. Yeah.

I wanted to go. I'm trying to see if we can crank out another one this week. But last time I went, it just, I don't, some of the clips I've seen from the recent ones they're like super funny but i i don't know how i mean i guess he's just used to it but like i think i told you like i was sitting next to like three dudes that were like reading posts from the comtown subreddit to each other and they were like you remember that one And I was like, man, I, what goes, what happens to people? Because like Disney adults, I can handle kind of, I know people that are that way.

But there's something more twisted about like, like Ben tells me that certain fans of the show are the same way. Or it's like, you remember that joke you made three and a half years ago? I've been thinking about it. I look at pictures of you and your wife in the dark. And I've been thinking about it i look at pictures of you uh and your wife uh and in the dark and i've been thinking about that joke man and i just i want you to tell it to me or i'm gonna kill myself i'm gonna i'm gonna my dog's gone family's fucked so you need it's gonna be us in a couple years except uh less of that because it's not going to be the same level at all. No, it won't be the same. It'll stall out maybe around

$3,200 a month, I think. And that'll sort of be all she wrote on that. And we'll be stuck doing it because we'll do it for 40 years making that much money or however long until one of us stops. You think we're both going to live another 40 years?

I think I will for sure. Wait, you think you'll outlive me? We'll see. We'll see, yeah. I mean, I already have a five-and-a-half-year, six-year head start. I mean, I'm not looking forward to it or anything. Who knows? Ashley's always like, I really hope you die before me or I die before you

I'm like why I don't want to deal with that shit that's literally her I'm not kidding she's like I hope I die before you and I'm like why the fuck would you say that she's like well I don't want to have to like deal with like your death and like you can handle mine and I'm like

I'm like wait hold on she's like yeah I just can't. It's going to be really hard for me to deal with if you die. And, you know, you're you're better at that stuff. And I'm like better at dealing with like a loved one dying. I don't think anybody is particularly like it's not a skill, you know, I mean, unless you kill your own family. I'm so good at people near me dying. I'm so good at it, dude. I've gotten really good at it.

good at people near me dying i'm so good at it dude i've gotten really good at it less yeah i uh well you know i'm i'm such a good person i hope everybody on earth dies before me yeah did it would suck to be the last guy actually no i know it'd be sick dude you know how many how many old classic trucks that are still running? There would be just lying around. Yeah. And you could just crash them into... You couldn't get fast food, though. You couldn't go to restaurants.

I know that you're sober now. But if you were the last guy on earth for whatever reason, would you fucking start going ape shit? I would go to every CVS, dude. I would be pilled the fuck out behind a Ferrari just like it would be curtains. I don't think I would last very long. I don't think I would get super into pills or whatever. I would be using the U.S. freeway system in a way that no one had used it before.

Yeah. I would be – there would be a drunk driving Olympics. Yeah. And there would be one guy on the team and it would be me. Yeah. Yeah, I don't... Can you imagine? You're not going to hurt anybody.

Everyone's dead. Yeah. You can go 180 miles an hour. Yeah. Somebody's old Ferrari, you can just take it and you can just crash it into stuff. You can go to a military base. You can steal a tank. Yeah.

You can figure that out. Yeah. It's like very much like a G. Like, can I figure out how to work an F-35? Because, man, if I can get one of these cocksuckers off the ground. Oh, fuck. I'm doing 9-11 all day, hitting the ejector seat like right before. I'm going to do 9-11 on every skyscraper on planet Earth.

Trying to figure out a helicopter and killing yourself like 30 seconds in. Oh, yeah. People, you wake up, everyone's gone, and you're just trying to make a Corolla go fast. You're doing like 80 in a Corolla. Just die. There's just no. You don't even get to. I'm just watching old YouTube videos and then just trying to figure out life from there.

You're like, you realize, oh, fuck. And you're like, all right, I got to figure out life you're like man like you realize oh fuck and you're like all right i gotta figure out how to hot wire a humvee and you're just sitting there and you're like i'll have one beer it's been forever you're like man i've got so much time and fucking roof caves in what flavor you fucking with tonight this is cool mint i'm off that fruity shit right now i bought this smoking uh this vape cessation device called a capnos um and it does not uh it i so what it is is just air and it but it has like a pool system like a draw system and you put mint oil uh on the wicks they've got pieces of cotton in there it's basically like dry hitting a vape uh and it worked for like 30 minutes and

then my brain was like something is amiss here there's a really important part it does kind of help with the like this thing uh but of course you know i'm inhaling like a poisonous level of nicotine all day from the moment i get wake up and then the last thing I do before I go to bed. As God intended. As God fucking intended, dude. And I was using it. I got it. It came in the mail the other day. And I went out with some friends and we got some food and had

some drinks or whatever and I'm hitting it and I'm like, man, this is kind of... I think I can really quit this shit. And then, yeah, like 45 minutes in, I'm like chewing the inside of my cheeks and I can really quit this shit and then yeah like 45 minutes in i'm like chewing the inside of my cheeks and i'm just ripping this thing just air just minty air i'm like huh there's something is amiss here then i again i had this sort of realization like dude you have pre-hypertension from the amount of nicotine you consume okay like you don't you're gonna have to taper off so like what i'll do is i'll hit that fucking thing all day and when i think about killing myself i'll rip the real the real deal

holy phil but it's been kind of it's been nice it's been kind of cutting back i'm trying to dude i'm like yeah i've tried so many times i i mean it's something at the end of the day the problem isn't that i can't quit it because i have successfully quit nicotine long term before yeah however i want to keep doing it yeah yeah yeah and for that like if i want to quit something i can i've done it before yeah i i've quit so many other things that it's like, so what am I going to do now? After this, am I going to chew gum all day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I going to, I don't know, get so into whittling that it becomes a problem for everyone around me?

Yeah, you're the whittling guy at like 23 years old. Whittling at fucking baby showers and shit. Legitimately, when I was trying to quit nicotine i was whittling so much yeah i remember that you you were like you kept cutting part of your thumb off yeah i every fucking two days you kept like cutting like you're like yeah i took a chuck out of my thumb i kept cutting the same spot on my thumb open over and over and it was getting so bad i think what frustrates me about like the times i've tried to quit and i'm on i'm in your boat i'm like i don't really want to but i think about like i quit

i quit doing cocaine like i quit doing viking like i quit things that like destroyed my life for part of a good period a good good chunk of years it could have easily killed me uh and they're hard to come off of it sucked so fucking bad to stop. But I have this little fruity little fruit stick that's kind of minty. A little fruity little fucking stick that I suck on all day. I'm like, yeah, I don't really want to stop. It tastes real sweet. A big problem is it's so socially acceptable.

No one is mad at you for doing because everyone does it so you can't do key bumps at like golden i guess you could you definitely could people do that one of the only places where they are constantly doing that yeah yeah i mean i know that was always my thing like that i've probably i've tried to quit drinking like 1 billion times in my life not because i like crash my car into people and i kill others but it's just bad for my health or whatever i drink a lot of beer so it's just hard to like really dedicate myself to weight loss but like this thing dude like ashley will will be in bed watching tv and it'll i'm like she's like hey it's like 11 30 you30, you know, like you're in bed,

you're in your pajamas. Like, are we, do you got to? And I'm like, yeah, if I don't, I'm going to get a headache and it's nasty feeling and I don't like it.

So, you know, I'm going to keep doing it. Uh, but anything, anything in life that makes you feel good is bad for you. So I think I just need to have like one or two things. Yeah. I work out a lot. I have like one or two things. Yeah.

I work out a lot. I eat pretty clean unless it's the weekend. But. Well, you know, if I could have some advice for you, I'd say get on probation and have them make it a condition that you can't have nicotine. I heard. I remember when you told me that and Ashley told me that her friend who's a nurse cannot have nicotine in her system. Oh, I can have nicotine.

Oh, okay. You were kidding. Yeah, but I'm saying if they made it a condition. Oh, yeah. Actually, when I was on juvenile probation, I wasn't allowed to have nicotine. Yeah. But I wasn't allowed to have nicotine because but um when i got to know i wasn't addicted to nicotine at the time so right actually you reminded me when i so when i got arrested i at 15 i had to pass a drug test and i could not have nicotine in my system uh i had for for the court thing i had to piss in a cup and uh and i remember they were like you can't have

any nicotine and i was like why not it's not illegal and i was like oh yeah no it definitely is like right now for me but at the time i was smoking but it wasn't i don't know it wasn't hard for me to quit smoking then and like yeah i quit smoking when i was like i got into it when i was like 18 or so in the night i went from like a pack and a half a day to like pretty much zero. Yeah, I was smoking, yeah, about a pack and a half a day, and then I just stopped. It was working construction. We could not smoke. I was in a live part of the plant, and guys would dip, and I used the pouches like snus every now and then.

But if you were caught smoking, there was like an automatic termination because there's you know like sulfuric acid shit benzene everywhere and they're like you can't be having that but yeah that wouldn't help me quit um when i was in college i quit for a bit because i got a bronchial infection and a doctor i saw was like so are you a smoker i'm like yeah a little bit he's like how much and i'm like almost two packs a day yeah about a pack and a half and he's like you got to cut that out. And I was like, I don't want to. And so I kept like I stayed sick until like I finally was like, all right.

And I didn't smoke for a couple months. But yeah, I don't know. You know, vaping tastes good. It makes me feel normal. And it gives me like a warm, tingly feeling, which is just my blood pressure, you know, going fucking haywire. I remember whenever I first got on probation, I was having terrible. I wanted to be on something, anything. Yeah, yeah.

So I got a cold and I was like, bingo. This is a message from God. Yeah. cold and i was like bingo this is a message from god yeah and i started smoking again to give myself a respiratory infection so that i could get a codeine prescription yeah i um and then after that i was like all right i had my little fix i I'm done. My buddy, one of my roommates, he got a codeine prescription, but it wasn't codeine with promethazine. It was codeine with guafenicin, which is an expectorant. I think that's what they gave me. So I don't know if you know this, but they purposely made guafenicin.

At high levels, it induces vomiting. It's an expectorant for like – I forget the term, but it induces vomiting. Really? Yes. It's supposed to be like designed to prevent abuse. That's why a lot of times when you get codeine now, it won't be with promethazine. It'll be with like a guafenicin added. Guafenicin helps you cough up stuff, but in high doses, it makes you puke.

And so my buddy comes back from the doctor's office on campus and he's like, bro, I cannot believe that they fucking, you know, they gave your boy fucking lean. And we were like, ah, like at this era, we were like, oh, let's pour the fuck up. I'm going to get some Jolly Ranchers. We're going to do this fucking right. And I had, I had gotten some prior before, but I didn't get that shit i just got the good shit i don't know why they gave him that shit uh anyway uh i'm looking at the bottle and i'm like oh fuck man we can't we can't do this shit and he was like why and i was like there's like 800 milligrams of waphenison and he's like what is it i'm like well it helps you cough but it's also a deterrent for abuse for codeine it'll make you fucking throw up if you drink too much of it. He was like, oh, I'm fine with that.

And I was like, it's gonna ruin the high. Like, every time you go to, like, you're gonna fucking puke on yourself. And he was like, I mean, it's just, you know, buy the ticket, take the ride, or whatever. And I was like, alright, man. And he was like, it won't be that bad. You know, I've thrown up before. And so, he, I was like, I'm gonna back

out. I don't feel like puking today. I got work in a couple hours. You know, y'all have fun. Him and one of my roommates, you know, Sprite, double cup, do the whole thing, do it right. And they're like chugging it and they're like, you know, watching TV. And then one of the guys that I lived with just sort of like stood up and then just projectile vomited like onto the coffee table. And it was like, it's like chunks of like sour patch kids like sprite and like ice or whatever and he's like man jay bro like you weren't kidding and like throws up again on the floor and my buddy across from him is like i mean i i feel fine like

damn fucking fast periods like i feel good i don't fucking i don't feel like anything y'all are a bunch of fucking pussies or whatever so her like roommate like goes and throws up gets it all out comes back and he like keeps drinking he was like man i mean i got like half a cup left so he keeps drinking it keeps drinking it finally my other roommate i look over and he's like shock white and he's like you've ever see a friend or i've been there i've been the guy at a party who's been fighting for his life trying not to throw up for like an hour. Yeah. And he's doing that thing where you got hot mouth, kind of like real watery, and you're like.

I was like, hey, bro. Do you need to? He just goes. And it wasn't a projectile. It was kind of just like a sort of like he was like, it also is high as fuck. They were like splitting blunts back and forth. I was like, dude, you guys, do you think you're better than scientists who make this stuff? I guess so.

Like a scientist was like, I'm going to do something to prevent abuse and put a chemical in this stuff that makes you fucking throw up. Like, do you think you're gonna out compete like this thing it was designed to do this i didn't know that i drank a bottle of that stuff and you didn't throw up maybe but it was over the course of i drank half and then the next night i drank the other half i'm pretty sure it's guapenison yeah like but it wasn't it wasn't one of the huge bottles. It wasn't like one of the full pints or whatever? No, I think it was a little less than that.

Well, yeah, I know they got super sick off of it. And I think it's Guarfinicin that's the fucking... I remember driving to the gym. Dude, you always tell me that you're like, yeah, I ate like two Hulks and like drank half a four loco and I PR like when you like back in your fucking your days. Yeah. A lot of your stories that you tell me are like, man, I was just driving around drunk and I went to Planet Fitness and I benched like 260. Like why? Like, is that just something that you used to do? Like, was that just? Well, that was how I motivated myself. Whenever I needed to start working out, I was like, well, I can't do this shit sober.

So I'd bring my dad pin in there. And before I went in, I had those big Gatorade bottles that the NBA players drink. Yeah. And I'd put, those can fit about a Bud light and a half and so i'd drink that in there and then i work out for a little bit do my thing yeah once the treadmill started spinning faster than it should have you know like like everything around me i'm like all right cool i go back to the car refill it because i'd have a little cooler in there and i would have a case in the floorboard of my passenger

seat and then as many beers as could fit in the cooler sometimes I do this with warm beer also yeah um and so you can get a good you can work out for like two hours and you can drink like nine beers no problem yeah if you do it right yeah, that's how I would work out initially because shit's just kind of boring working out by yourself. No, for sure. If you're not in the habit and you don't have a partner. There's a – when – I don't do it much anymore because I'm trying to, like, lose weight again.

Like, I'm trying to, like, actually get down to what I want to get down to. Anyway, there was a time when I like first got back into doing like Muay Thai and stuff that I – and I've done this before when I was training like years ago, is I would have a shot or two before I would go spar. And the reason is it's just like kind of like, you know, loosey-goosey, you know, kind of like, you know, like feel – you know, know, it does help with like you don't second guess yourself so much. You don't clam up. Plus, it's like you take a shot.

It's like, ah, nice. And you're not. Anyway, there are multiple occasions where like I have sometimes some days I have this thing where I'm like to. You don't try for maybe you can go in and do like some John Wick shit. You know, maybe you're fucking – you're just slipping and fucking ripping on every cocksucker that walks into that gym. And there was like a couple times I would like walk in and I am fucking totaled. I'm trying to wrap my hands and I don't – I've been wrapping my hands forever. I don't know how to do it.

I'm like putting my cup on sideways and shit. I'm leaving. You know, and I'm like ding, ding on sideways and shit i'm leaving you know i'm like like ding ding you just get tore the fuck up and then of course you could smell like i had a guy i was sparring with it was like did you leave the fucking bar before you came here man and i'm like uh no i live in my house he was like you drinking and i'm like oh yeah he's like you smell like fucking like rubbing alcohol i was like oh yeah i'm shithoused you. He's like, you smell like fucking rubbing alcohol. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm shithoused. He's like, it's not good for your heart rate or whatever.

Really, anything mentally or physically? To take eight shots of Espolone and then come and put your heart through, get a BPM of 195 for 30 minutes. I don't think any doctors recommend it i don't really think any champions have recommended that course of action uh but yeah you know i tried it for a little bit yeah the one thing i will say don't don't do before you work out is coke um now this has been a very long time i think i've told you this i don't i don't know but i don't know i i only went through one little coke streak or whatever uh but it was a couple weeks yes it was every day yeah ripping and dipping yeah yeah you know how it goes and uh well i you know i didn't really have my wits about me because I'd been smoking for a lot of the day.

I think I had the day off. Anyway, went to my friend's house. Oh, also, I slept until like noon. Anyway, went to my friend's house. Had taken my Adderall late because I woke up late and forgot to. Yeah. So I'd taken it probably an hour before, but it's instant release. It's in the system.

Yeah, yeah, you're cruising. I get there. I'm like, fuck. I got to work out. And I'm like, well, it's been about 20 minutes. You know what time it is. I'll take a little key bump and go in there. Yeah, yeah.

Start chugging my pre-workout. God damn, Thomas. And I'm like. So you've got a 20 10 or 20 milligram ir you got a couple snooters and you've got like 200 milligrams of caffeine coursing through your veins it was so i it was one of those lit af ones it was about 300 milligrams of caffeine 15 milligrams instant release and then whatever you know whatever else anyway so i'm like before i even start i'm like man hot one today you know yeah you're sweating way way more than i am you don't sweat this much

you sweat a lot you don't have you had any water today i'm like no no not not a drop Have you had any water today? I'm like, no, no. Not a drop. Let's get this shit going. And, dude, it's bench day. I don't miss – I never miss bench days. Yeah, yeah. Under any circumstances.

I do now. I miss almost every single one. But you know what I mean. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get down under the bar, and I'm, like, shaking. I'm, like, not doing well at all. And I'm like, well, here we go. Anyway, unrack the bar and I'm like shaking. I'm like not doing well at all. And I'm like, well,

here we go. Unrack the bar and it's like, this 45 pound bar is like 150 pounds somehow. And so I push it up for me. I do my warm-up sets. And he's looking at me like,

what the fuck is going on, man? I'm like, trust the process, bro. This is all part of the plan. I can physically feel my heart moving around in there. Like, it's bumping into my chest plate. Yeah. Like, wriggling, writhing in pain. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, man. I must be sore from work, you know, yesterday. Shit, you know. And that day, I failed a rep of, it had to be, dude, it was like, maybe like, I want to say it was like 185, dude. The weight slid off of the end of the bar. And this was like, this was whenever I was putting up like,

like 225 was, I think close to my max, but like, actually no, no, I'm giving myself too much credit. I think this was with 135 that the plate slid clean off. I was going to say 185 is heavy, dude.

Like it's heavy, you know. The way that I was working out at the time was very much like strength. Like to failure, like you're trying to. Yeah, yeah. Like you have a spotter and you just push it to failure every time. Yeah, yeah. So 185 at the time was, I think I, actually I wasn't benching 225. I just started, I think.

Just started heavy lifting. I worked out, anyway, but yeah. Wouldn't recommend that. That is like, I don't, you know, again, like the stuff, whenever hear you know you hear somebody tragically od'ing or like i a friend of a friend of a friend like a loose acquaintance did too much coke and it wasn't even like fent laced it's just his heart fucking gave out you know man that's tragic and then like you tell me shit like that or i have my own similar stuff and i'm like man like i really do think i don't know what the science is behind it but i think some people are just genetically

capable of handling that type like their bodies are like all right i've got i'm in extremely good health on paper i have like low blood pressure but like the healthy kind yeah uh resting heart rate is down to like 70 yeah mine's pretty low now that i lost mine used to be like 105 110 yeah dude all the time i used to when i was like 265 i would sometimes like do this thing and i would uh count 15 seconds and add four you get a rough estimate you know pretty close estimate of what your BPM is. It would just be like 116. And I would be on the couch watching workaholics. I haven't even eaten.

I'm not drinking. I haven't done any coke. I haven't done no pills. And my roommate would be like, why do you check your pulse sometimes? I'm like, I'm just trying to get my BPM. And he'd be like, well, what is it? And I'm like, 120. He's like, hey, you trying to get my BPM. And you know, he'd be like, well, what is it? And I'm like, I can one 20. He's like, Hey, you need to lose weight, brother. Like now that one of the, one of the meanest things that anyone has ever said to me, cause I was like Coke head skinny

for a while in college, like early, like 19 or 20. And I was also lifting a lot then. So I actually kind of worked out a little bit but around like senior year i started putting on like pretty like a lot of weight and this was before i lost weight for like the second time i was probably like 220 um and a guy that i hung out with a lot but we like didn't live in the house we were friends he looked at me we were at a party one time and he was like uh hey man i'm not trying to be a dickhead or nothing but uh you look like you've put on some weight man i'm like ha yeah you know like a couple pounds or whatever he was like nah man like i'm just just saying this is your friend like i thought cokeheads were supposed to be skinny and that sentence

i don't know why there are some things people have said to me in my life i'm glad that this person said that to me this was like 2008 not 18 not eight but i was 14 if i was like you know that was the toughest toughest part sixth grade for me yeah yeah eighth grade was tough i was 260 hitting eight ball every day no i was 2018 and i was like and at that point i had never really considered quitting like obviously when you know those late nights that turn into early mornings i was like fuck all right if i could get through this fucking panic attack i'll never do any fucking blow again and like that the next night i'm doing blow but that sentence yeah man i thought coconuts were supposed to be like skinny like you like kind of fat, bro.

And he wasn't even trying to fucking clown him. He was just like like the way that I'd be like, you get a haircut, man. And you'd be like, yeah, that guy. He was just like, man, like coke heads are supposed to look good. Like you look like fucking like a fat retard, man. Like you look like shit, bro. And like at that point, I was like I went home after the party and i was like all right i gotta stop because if you're if you do cocaine every day and you're fat there's only one guy who ever did that his name is chris farley and he was way funnier and like an athletic fat

guy he did like cartwheels and backflips and shit me no i was not doing that stuff uh but that was like one of those moments in my life where i was like man i don't even look good doing this shit you know like some people do coke and they're like you know like fucking on instagram and shit i look like the fucking mucinex guy it's like very swollen sort of sickly green um and then like yeah after that i just kind of like stopped uh there were a couple times like i would go like a couple months and i would fuck it up this was like late 2018 early 2019 so it would be out of my system you know and i would uh and i was still big then big at this point like yeah like 262 65 i hadn't like my idea of fitness was not doing

cocaine anymore i was like i'm gonna give the gym a little i'm gonna wait a little bit but i'm just not gonna do no blow like that was like my but anyway there'd be a couple times where i like i would be out of my system and i would be at a party i'd be like i'll do a little bit but i would try to take like you know a heroic dose like i was used to taking. And I would just end up like, I would go to my car and sit like the driveway, the party and just be like, like, like my fucking, my roommates would come out and be like,

like I'm in my car, like one, two, three, four, like just trying to count my way, out of hell or whatever and they're like knock on the window hey man you good and i'm like like no like a fucking like startled toddler i'm like i'm super solid i'm fucking i'm super fucking good man they're like you did some cocaine

and i didn't you brother i thought you're gonna quit man the fuck's up me and my roommates were like on my ass or whatever i was like yeah you yeah, you know, I slipped up. I slipped up and did a little. They're like, how much do you do? And I'm like, like a little start off a little pinky. And they're like, did you do like six or seven lines back to back to back like you used to? And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I definitely. I fucking definitely did that shit. And then I did like three in the bathroom, too.

And I'm doing it in the car now. And they're like, sick. So like you're fat as fuck and you're trying to quit. So if you're going to fuck up, like I don't want you to, but maybe just do a little. And I'm like, that's not how we roll, baby, on the fucking east, on the culture. Come on, man. We know how our cholos get down, brother. You know how we do it, man. You know how we do it, man.

We know how we do it. Yeah, we fucking overdose on cocaine and our mom cries. We're ruining our family's lives. Yeah, our whole family's devastated. We need nothing worth. We need nothing. And every step up until we die, we disappoint people. And our grandma has to clean out our car

yeah yeah yeah and our little brother gets the car and he changes the course of his life forever and he doesn't even finish school even cause he can't deal with the pain I say like we everything around us collapsing our girlfriends

fucking kill ourselves that sets off kills themselves that sets off a whole thing with their family I say we cause irreparable damage almost to like

eight generations of people. We do so much cocaine that you can't even get a job at Whataburger I say like That's just how it is That's just how it is on the Eastside You do so much cocaine they don't even let you get a loan Eastside Besadina

Eastside Besadina Eastside is a suburb outside of Houston, Texas That's got a lot of crime That's how we roll Eastside Pister, Texas Eastside an hour outside of Fort Worth. Two and a half hours outside of Fort Worth. That's too far.

They say we do so much cocaine, they won't even give us a credit card. They won't even let us apply for a visa or a secured one. We do so much cocaine, they take away our social security number. I didn't even know that they could do that, Olms. But I did enough coke and I found out. They remove your identity from the system. They took my name. Yeah, I walk around as a man with no country.

My passport does not work no more. When I go to Chili's, I have to tell the waitress my name is redacted. Yeah. We do so much cocaine, brother. We get, we become fucking ghosts in this world. I have to sign my checks

with a big black line. Yeah, yeah. Just like when the, like, you know, have you ever seen those CIA redacted files? They say that's all my signatures

is a black marker. A big black rectangle. And the doctor said I'm mentally redacted. Yeah. Every time they take my blood, it's just three question marks on my fucking results, Holmes, because that's how much cocaine we be fucking snorting in, you know, brother man. That's how we do it.

Yeah, that's how we do it. That's how we run down the clock on the show. That's how we... If you ever find that you do a show And you need to do 8 minutes Just Do this voice And then just Say anything

Say Fucking Literally anything Literally anything Like for example Like that was 15 seconds Yeah And you do that 4 times

That's a minute And you do that You do that 6 times That's a minute and a half Yeah a minute Something like that Something Yeah

You ever do so many jigsaw puzzles essay fuck uh hey oh you want to hear something interesting yeah hit me with it you know how i did that pedophile in my neighborhood check. I realized that the one on the corner is that guy with the fucking sick ass Ford. With the body kit and everything? That is so fucking badass, dude. That's awesome. I'm like, man, what

would I give to be that guy? You're like, man, I would give anything to be that guy. That guy probably has the sickest life. Yeah, he probably has so much money put away. And it's like, no, he should have had a lawyer. Like, this should have been his lawyer retainer money. I think he sells cars. I think it's like a dealer thing.

Because he has like a different car out there every week. So he doesn't have the truck out there anymore? No, no, it's gone. Well, like, that's a really... That's by far the sickest one that's been out there. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, this truck is fucking badass.

It's very funny to be like a car guy and also a pedophile. I don't know. There's this crossover in acting world and music world and whatever. But to be like, yeah, I restored this old GTO. Dude from scrap. It was just a hush. It was just a frame. You know, I put a really nice engine in it. And, you know, I whitewalled the tires with a nice coat of paint.

Cost me like 35 grand. Oh, that's badass, man. What happened to it? I had to sell it. I had to get a lawyer. It's like, oh, fuck, man. Divorce. Nah, I've never been married.

Oh, did you get a DUI? Nah. What happened? I like molested like a lot of kids like just a whole bunch you know and you're not allowed to do that stuff and it's expensive to get into that type of stuff so it's a really terrible business to be in yeah i you know i'm i'm an idiot and uh like whenever i find out a guy uh like you read an article maybe it's a like a z-list or just any any guy any guy who has you know like an impossible amount of child pornography i'm like oh

he just found it but like i remember that it is like a it's like a billion dollar industry unfortunately you know it's like it so i'm like how much money do these like a hundred like you know say how many ever terabytes or whatever fucked up a fucked up number of the worst shit on planet earth. It's like, dude, are you, I don't, in my head I was like, oh, he just has it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I never thought about a guy spending like $150,000 like on child pornography. Like I, whenever you read the headline, it's like man caught with 38 gigabytes of child porn. I'm like, oh, he just found it on the internet somewhere.

It's like, no, you got to like pay for that stuff. It's a commodity. You know, it's an industry like anything else. So I don't know. It just, like I never put two and two together for some reason. People do it with drugs. I guess I hadn't thought about that.

It's fucked up, right? Which is weird because it's something I think about all day. Yeah. Yeah. I think about, day yeah yeah i think about you know how much exactly one gigabyte or video costs i try to you know run the numbers just intellectual curiosity uh well and also are these high fidelity files are these in flack or whatever yeah it's very funny to be like a like an audio and like video yeah the sound of this is not very good it's almost offensive to me you should have gone stereo is this mono what are you a

fucking peasant like i can't really you know i'm not getting clear crisp sounds even a pedophile i i don't imagine like like like in the same way that people buy, like the dark web is like a fucking, you know, it's like a honeypot now. But back in like, I guess it's heyday. It's like you bought drugs off there and then guys bought, you know, fucking kitty diddle stuff off there or whatever. But I guess like it says, like it functions the same way as any illicit substance. It's like, if a guy gets caught with six ounces of fucking yak, he either harvested it, you know, or he bought it

and he spent a lot of money on it or whatever. But I don't know, like always in my head and it's like, principal of so and such high school at, you know,

200 terrible, whatever. I'm like, man, he just had it. I, I can't imagine. I've bankrupted myself,

I guess because I'm not a pedophile. I'm like, who spends money on child pornography? I can't believe people would spend money on that but you know like we're not pedophiles so of course it doesn't make any sense but i guess if you're a pedophile you make time you put in the extra hours yeah i mean you got car guys everybody's got a hobby yes a guy you work with is suddenly putting in like 70 80 hour weeks you're like man you gotta you know it's like you knock your old lady up or what man i totally understand you know you gotta

you gotta fucking diapers ain't cheap bro and formula's expensive no i kind of got a new hobby i'm working on it's like oh are you restored in the uh the cyclone no no no i got really into filming stuff i got into like making videos oh dude, speaking of cars, I was looking at old Toyota SUVs. Yeah, like the— Dude, the resale value is insane. Talk about, like, the FTJ Cruisers. My dad has one. Is it an old one?

The Cruisers are, like—I think his is, like, an 08 or an 09, something like that. I mean, like, the Highlanders andlanders and the RAV4s and shit. 4Runners from the late 80s, early 90s and shit. Well, because I've been thinking about getting rid of the old Matrix at some point. Yeah. Not right now. Like in a year or two. Are you saying insane in a bad way?

Because I know everything right now is fucking stupid. I mean super expensive. yeah yeah yeah i saw like a forerunner that was like a 93 had like my dad 50 000 miles my dad had one of those yeah yeah he's going for like 19 grand yeah my dad like come on when my dad got his charger he like he bought a fucking dodge charger uh but he had a a blue toyota forerunner from the 90s that he... Dude, when he got rid of it, it still drove just fine. I think it had over 300,000 miles on it. I don't know why he didn't keep it.

I guess he just didn't want it. But those old 4Runners, dude, they were like cars for the end of the world. And I wanted one for a while because my dad's was so fucking cool. But every time I go to Google, like, look up like old civics and like the little pocket rocket what are the honda cr cr x or v yeah my buddy restored one you know dude all that shit you mean the you mean the suv no the little hatchback ones oh okay those little two-seaters the crv is like the yeah yeah i think it's the crx it's like the it's a little pocket yeah a little two-seaters dude all that shit's like i mean even the pontiac old rebadged gtos that used to go for nine or ten grand all of

the motherfuckers are like 23 24 000 right now i like it's it's fucking like i can't even it's fucked up because now i have kind of enough money to make a stupid financial decision and actually i don't i do not have nine grand i don't even have like three but in my mind i'm like i could make it work i could tighten up the belt for a year and buy a car i've wanted since i was like 12 years old but now it's just it's unattainable completely out of reach you know yeah i'll look at like old trucks or whatever now. And I'm like, do you have an old truck?

Yeah. Transmission on it. You have to spend like an afternoon. Yeah. Maybe eight or 900 bucks. Maybe. Yeah. You're like,

I got, I can make 30 grand work, you know? Yeah. I'm like, I could just, I could just like sell like everything. My body or a kidney or something. and then get like an old Monte Carlo.

I don't know. I will say it's funny. Me and Ashley look for places to this complex. We're in. You've been to. It's just dog shit. And we want to get up like a nice place. You live in a shit hole.

And and I will start on Zillow at like our budget, which is like 16, 1700. And there's like two or three houses. Everything in Austin is fucked. And I'll bump it up to like $1,750. Two or three more results. Everything's still fucked. And I'll go to $2,000. I'm like, all right, that would fucking suck to pay $1,000 each in rent.

But I picked up some freelance work. You know, I might start bouncing. I don't fucking know. I'll make it work. Ashley is getting more hours of work lately. We'll make it work. You know, maybe two start bouncing. I don't fucking know. I'll make it work. Ashley is getting more hours of work lately. We'll make it work. You know, maybe two or three more houses. By the end of my house search session, dude, I'm looking at houses that cost like $7,000 a month, like on the water.

And I'm like, if I just picked up like another 40-hour-a-week job, bounced on the weekends, the show somehow miraculously went up like to $20,000 a month. And then Ashley, you know, became like the, the wine boss at work and somehow was working 150 hours at an Italian restaurant. That's only open six hours a day. We could totally make this $22,000 mansion work.

Like I, I, and it's, it's been that way my whole life, but I think because, and again, I did my taxes this year. I think I made like, I don't know, $49,000, $50,000.

I don't know. But in my mind, I'm like, I have a savings account, kind of. I keep some money in there. It's not really a lot. It's not enough for even a month's worth of bills. I can afford $12,000 a month for this. You know, like it's just, it's fucking fantasy land. It's complete and utter fucking dog shit.

land it's complete and utter fucking dog shit but yeah i uh i was working in a neighborhood this week that was pretty nice okay i say pretty nice it was all mansions i was working in a mansion like a like a gated community or whatever super insanely nice where was it at like in fort worth yeah yeah okay and i was like man this is a nice neighborhood you know i i like to think about saving up for a house sort of in but like yeah just the way that you save up for things without knowing what it's for anyway yeah yeah i go and look and it's like literally at a certain point i don't know if it still is the the richest neighborhood in texas yeah like every every house it's like two million dollars yeah minimum whatever yeah and here i am as a guy who makes like below the average income for texas as like man like you

know if i just said if i you know keep my mutual fund going and i maybe get lucky with a couple stocks and then i get oh a three hundred thousand dollar a year raise at my manual labor job yeah which the owner doesn't even make that yeah if i make if i start making the combined wages of everyone at my company plus just the minus overhead, like all the profits and everything. I think I could honestly rent out a room at one of these places. Yeah. Yeah. I have in my mind that we've had steady gradual growth on the show, but I end up looking. I did the same shit, man.

I'm like, huh, that's a really beautiful house in L end up looking at the same shit, man. I'm like, huh? That's a really beautiful house in Lago Vista. Eight bedrooms. I live. I don't. It's me and Ash. You know, we have one dog. Yeah, but I could come live there.

Yeah. Move the family. I start. I move my parents in. Yeah. Well, it's like it'd be funny if you like knock on the door to like come to a video episode. I somehow do get one of these and Eden's with you. You guys have like three pigs, like a goat and like eight chickens and you're like i'm just here for the

video episode i'm like it's the barn animals oh hey eden and you're like i figured we could just run like 780 video episodes over the course of the next 10 to 15 years you know like i think we just we'll make it work you know it's not a big i'm like all right we'll be heading out and then like later that afternoon like you look in my car still in the driveway i come home from the gym and you're in the kitchen i'm like what's up man uh like just an apron and a like top hat or something yeah g-string yeah i like don't i do the same thing with cars i do the same thing like i like the show i'm like in my mind i'm like all right we plug the we we do these choppo shows starting in april we make 62 000 a month which is chump change you know it's nothing it's fucking nothing to a guy like

me and then i invest that for one month. And I do so good at investing that Warren Buffett gives me $68 million. And he's like, you do with this, you're going to break the economy, man. And then I get a G5 airplane and I learn to fly it and I can go wherever I want because that's how planes work.

I'm almost, I'm almost, I'm 20, I'm 28 years old and I'm like, dude, if you just make a couple smart money moves, you can be on the Forbes 500. You can be the 30 under 30 from podcasting and being a graphic designer for a fucking website. Hey, if you thought this was cool, you should go over to patreon.com slash pendejo time. You should toss us a little sub. You should give us a little, a little, a little, a couple of dollars, a little, a little, a little should give us a little... A couple dollars. A little submissive, you know? We are doing some shows with Chapel Trap House.

Austin sold out, but Dallas is coming up on the 18th, Houston the 22nd of March. And tickets are still up for those, I think. I just checked them. Can I do a plug? Yeah, go ahead. I will be going to the grocery store tomorrow. If you want to see me there, you might catch me.

I was actually going to say which one you shop at. It doesn't matter. It might be the Central Market on Hewlin. Yeah. It might be the Central Market on Hewlin in Fort Worth, Texas. All right, fucking peace out. I like the idea of getting healing in fort worth texas uh all right fucking i like the idea of getting murdered in the central market parking lot yeah like in a very nice neighborhood in the fort worth area dude i i when you i i keep forgetting that like the parts of dallas that

i visited where my friends lived and then like literally like 15 minutes outside like yeah those are the richest neighborhoods in texas some of the richest in the country like the just sprawling manors like huge fucking ridiculous shit fort worth is funny because like behind central market like right next to his como which is like one of the most dangerous neighborhoods yeah no dude houston's like that like if you go to river oaks and you see the fucking, like, where the Astros live and shit, like, some of the Rockets guys and, like, a couple celebrities. I mean, just impossibly nice houses. If you drive, like, eight minutes the other way, you're in, like, Third Ward.

Where it's just like you just don't go there unless you're from there or whatever. You know, I think I'm stupid. I think all cities are like that. I think I'm just a huge idiot and I don't know anything about it. I wonder if race has something to do with how cities are flying. I wonder if race and class has anything to do with how cities are flying. With how society works. I don't know.

Probably not. No, probably not. You know, it's weird. You go to a city, and you have all these nice streets that are perfectly paid with no potholes, $50 million, $60 million homes, and you drive nine minutes, and no trains work there. There's no gas stations or jobs. There's no grocery stores. People kill each other. other they sell their bodies all the homes are boarded up i wonder if race or class has anything to do with that stuff at all up next on padeo time

see you guys economy bye