Pendejo Time - The Misadventures of John Cheese

Episode Date: June 26, 2026

A fun little solo ep for the day ones. Thanks for listening. Jake will be back soon, he's on his honeymoon (congrats buddy).Hims connects you with licensed healthcare providers online, giving you simple access to legitimate ED options from home. No awkward appointments, no pharmacy lines. Get Hims.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was a cold and... It was a cold and... Wasn't too much wind, but... More wind than you like. It's night time setting. It was night time. LA. 8.30 p.m.

A young lady walked on the street. High heel shoes. A red dress. Lay it over a blue dress. a blue dress combined they made a color nobody nobody could know off the top of their head as she walked people passed by staring who was this magnificent woman with a body like tile dressed of the nines and headed to the garment district she was about five foot out of

How ever tall you like people would be with a face like silk and a voice like, well about like that saxophone? I don't know if that saxophone. That might be a trumpet. Anyway, walking down the street passes of young man catches her eye. He's wearing a green silk shirt made up pure, well I guess it's made out of silk. Yeah, his shoes made out of blue jeans and a shiny white pant. Made out of python meat. And, oh, Lord, did he smell good. They passed each other by and they stopped both at once.

He took his hat off, turned to where he said, My, oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my. You look at this fuck. He said, you said, he said, said, bitch. Let me get some of that cake. She said, hell no. I ain't given you pieces of this, Mr. Ratmeet.

I ain't given you no type of nothing. And that's how they talked in L.A. at the time. That was an L.A. accent. Two blood purrs kept chatting until they found out later. So they could char mine. Stinket Mays Lolligag

Knoodle That was the word Think of Kanoodle Like Kristen Stewart and that director Chris Stuart, you hairless bitch But I digress

The wind was picking up As you remember from earlier The wind was unsatisfactory She said Uh how How about we hop on your kite and get out? out of here. He said, yeah, I like that.

That was a joke about the wind. They didn't actually use kites. So they snowboarded back to his apartment. East LA, whatever goes on there. And things got a little bit spicy, icy, aye. And that's their apartment. He had skeleton wine. He had grapes made out of pure silk that you can eat right from

skin. And he had a TV so big that had to holler with a crane. It was the old thick kind of TV. It got hot. It used too much electricity. If he turned on a nature documentary, all the lights in the neighborhood would go out. And needless to say, his name was John

Detective John Cheese. Nephew Of the one and only Detective Mouse Sitchie Now Those two little lovebirds Woke up in a mess of feathers

He had a bed made out of a dead pigeon They was kissing with their mouse lips By the way he says This whole time this was two mice The whole time it's been two mice motherfucker you six minutes in you just found out of the story about two mice fucking you fucking suck this is what your commute is like

anyway broke up doing god knows what with who knows who John cheese Billy a Pucine Pussine is a common mouse name I'm not a linguist What did I mean by the...

Anyway, his phone was ringing when they woke up. It was the police chief. He said, John, I just had a spicy piece of cheese, man. And my... Actually, he had a different voice. He said, John. Sorry, I've had a spicy piece of cheese. I'm the chief of police

And we solve the crimes You need to get right down here For a case Get your mouse ass up and get over here Let's work Alright motherfucker I'm laid up with a fine-ass bitch right now And I ain't feeling too inclined to leave

So if you wouldn't mind telling me What the motherfucker this case is about Well I'd be happily inclined To put my foot of your policeman ass. You jive talking ass, motherfucker. Funky ass bitch. Fuck you. At least she didn't think too kindly to that.

He was John's boss. He said, John, get your punk ass down here. He said, John, get down here. I've got a serious call. but I need your help in an amazing case. It's about your uncle, Mousie. The cheese phone fell out of John's Paul still ringing.

She said, I knew it was going to be some bullshit when we woke up. It will be seen later in the story. We got plenty of time, so don't worry about her. John rushed down to police station in his car. It happened to be a banana. I understand that in a mouth universe, this is not really adhered to mouth structure principles. Okay, but I think of it as a vehicle that could fit three miles,

a single file. The wheels are regular wheels. No, the wheels are buttons. Okay, now we're talking. A banana with six buttons. No, four buttons. No, six buttons because the middle would droop without an additional set of buttons. Okay, six-wheel banana car, three mice.

In this case, we only have one mouse and he has no friends of that. Until he swings back and gives the minimum. immediately a ride to her a mouse apartment. So during that scene, she sits in the middle seat. There is no passenger seat. Okay. So now that's established. And basically,

I wish he was a faster song right now. But he races over the police station. All right, this is where things get really intense. I wish I did any other voice for this. Oh my God. What a narrowed a voice I had picked out. Okay, he gets to police station. He said, man, what the fuck y'all talk?

What's y'all talking about my uncle for? What happened? What the fuck happened with my uncle, man? He's like my godfather, but closer like an uncle. He taught me everything I know about police work. Ain't how to fuck bitches. I'm six weeks old They don't live that long

So that's old enough to me He said, well Just tell what the hell happened But by the way, imagine like it's Chris Tucker But he's a mouse That's kind of what I'm going for Rush out of Chris Tucker I'm not trying to be disrespectful

To the community All right Chris Tucker This is a Chris Tucker impression Which I'm allowed to do as a fellow comedian Bear with me Man what the hell happened Boy, my uncle.

Man, y'all better tell me for a while out. See, narrowed to hear again. That felt like I was maybe crossing the line. That still felt like weird. I'll continue doing this for another hour ago. Man, if y'all don't tell me what the fuck happened, I'm a wild out. All right, that time felt better. John, stay calm.

I hate to be the one to tell you this. But your uncle's been kidnapped by none other. What is the opposite of cheese? By none other. Then Carl the crazy cat. Man, what the fuck? Carl the crazy cat? He's supposed to be dead.

John, I know. But it's the truth. Man, what kind of evidence you got? About my uncle? Big kidnapped man Well John, I'm glad this Well John, I'm glad this music came on us I like it actually

Really brightened up the office I'm so sorry that your uncle Time of breaking a song Your uncle Has been kidnapped Is it cat What you mean my uncle he gone

been hospitalized by a cat but the hospital it's not a hospital it's actually a cave white lights in the tile floor you think it's a hospital

but actually it's a kitty cave John I'm sorry your uncle is in the possession I call the Crazy cat, call the crazy cat, call the crazy, crazy, crazy cat, kitty, cat. John, I'm so sorry, you're my employee. I am a ghost. I am a ghost.

I'm a different ghost that's here, and I got the worst voice that you've ever heard. I'm the ghost of Miles Davis, and I run the police station. Your uncle thinks he's in the hospital, but he's not one of the patients. So please be patient, but don't keep him waiting. He hurt his foot, so you got to keep an elevated. Wait. Wait, no more music. John, the music's going to keep going.

All right, fine. Continue the music. But I'll go back. From crazy cat Oh, what his lair is Don't you know what the breathe in the air is John I drink a glass of water

And my voice is normal now If we're gonna find your uncle To follow the track He's a kid cat but he's big as well Man, I got to find my uncle What happens if I don't I think I get into trouble Yeah

Yeah, she booby-puss, yeah. I'm a pop-a-pour like a bubble to get my uncle out of trouble. He got the kitty knuckles. But we killed Busters. Yeah. All right, that's enough freestyle. We gotta find my uncle, man. How are we gonna do that?

John, we've got to follow the trail of clues. But I'm willing to help for a price. Man, you're my boss, man What? You call me. Forget it. I'll do this one for free. Yeah, I mean, you called me.

Why? I know, I know. That's weird to me. I'm being weird. Yeah. All right. Our first clue is this. He left us this.

It's a piece of paper completely covered in blood, John. Do you recognize this blood? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's really. Red blood? It's red blood. It came from an animal.

All right. Let me think some animals I know. Fox, skink. Snake, fever, crawfish, plant. Oh, shit. What?

My uncle's an animal. Oh, John. Oh, fuck. John, I'm so sorry. That might be completely your uncle's blood. Wait But in my uncle over there His blood is over here

Yo, let me guess He's right behind me Your uncle is not right behind you Your uncle is definitely not right behind you Oh shit man We gotta find him to get his blood back With the napkin Yes I agree John

That's a good idea That makes sense So what's our Is there a second clue? The second clue is this. It's a map to the layer. You could have said that earlier.

Right. And I just found this napkin. I have no idea. That could be... I found it in the women's restroom. I don't know if it's a clue. It is. Yeah, what the fuck.

All right. Let's just go. Let's just go. All right. We've got a police. car. So the police car, this is the narrator again, remember this is the voice I told for

the narrator. So the police car I was thinking of maybe a black banana, but that would just be a really ripe banana. Too ripe to be a car. Okay, so I thought, how do we go

mouse related? I decided that an upside down mouse trap that snaps over and over and the releases and every snap it jumps forward like a horse would be cool

maybe they ride mousetraps like horses now I know logically that does not make sense but I think it would be cool so imagine that for me they each have their own mousetrap they're riding like a horse all right and they're doing it slowly they don't get a fuck looking at their phones everything who cares

as I said before it's cool and a little bit of wind going on and it's blowing their mousetraps all over the place. Just as the wind starts to settle down, where do they come across put a fallen log in their path. What the F?

This is L.A. Not no damn Spirit of Tokyo. They hop out of the car. Well, we'll call them cars but it's traps. up out of the car is going, what the F, man?

We gotta get around this or over or something so we can get to the clue, get to the lair. And what did they see crawling over that low? But an army

of three kittens. Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Mrow.

Miao. Mrow. Mrow. What the F? I sign up for no kitten battle. Well, John, that's what we're up against. In fact, the kittens, it's, if you are scared of three kittens, that four kittens combined as a full-grown cat.

So this is like three-quarters of a cat, of a real life. man well then i'm gonna feel bad as hell killing these three kittens in huh that's right john that's what we're gonna do i'm sorry but it's time to put them to put them down to go to the vet and put him down yeah you already knew what time it was wind faced with fire fire fire with fire like a firefighter these motherfuckers straight up pulled gats on these kittens. They saw a shoot now. But the kittens had other plans, ducking and diving,

one ginger colored, one black and white, classic, one calico. Three girl cats. These cats pulled out their claws and started slicing the fuck out of everybody. And that text message?

It's out for delivery. Oh my God. I had grocery down the way. Oh, the six stops away I should be good for this fight All soldiers Fighting like hell against each other Fighting like two

Fighting like two fighters In a ring Like fight off cats Yeah Man these motherfucking cats can fight I'm gonna feel bad when we kill all of them Well It seems like they might kill us

John Seems like they're killing us a lot John, it seems like I'm going to have to pull out my secret weapon Poisonous gas Throw on your gas mask We may we have poison gas this whole time We don't lost like 15 of our guys

A bunch of mice It's time for poison gas John and I'm the chief of police Not clear why Not clear how I got this job And so they poison them They try to poison the cast with poisonous gas the catch just kind of went away

because it was outdoors so they could to go away I am sure glad we did not get killed man yeah that was a good heck of a fight John but we've still got a lot of work to do yeah yeah yeah that's right man we still gotta get my uncle right

yes that's what we're doing man do you ever get tired tired of all the fighting all the hustling all the bitches the money

the banana cars the cheese John that's all I wake up for every morning I'm a crazy police guy hold on let me take a sip of Yerba Mata Ah we like this as well as cheese

Right John? Yeah sure Yeah what my the two mice the two mice had to had a lot of work to do still they crawled over that log and they walked until dawn

to their little mousey feet hurt they couldn't get the cars over the log they had to walk the rest of the way goodbye cars hope you remember where you parked next of the log okay please try to remember that

we keep losing these cars easy to break in too hard to get out of Kakiya K4 Okay And we'll meet these We'll meet these characters again soon To be continued What's up guys

I want to take a little bit of a break From that Because to be honest You know Sometimes it can be a little bit much with, you know, pretending to be a mouse for too long, you know what I mean?

Can be a little bit tough on the brain. So I just want to check in with you guys. Jake will be back soon. I believe he'll be out for next week and then we're all back to normal. So thank you for bearing with me. I know it's always more fun with Jake on the show. But I'm trying to keep it interesting,

you know, trying to keep it, fun for you guys I know some of it can be you know not everybody's favorite but hey we're all having fun and I hope you guys have been having a good week so far

man I've had been having kind of an intense work week so my energy is not where I'd like it to be but you know I still have a positive outlook still very happy with it

how my life is and um you know even if even if the energy is low the morale is high you know what i mean i'm i'm pumped for what's to come oh uh you know what i should just mention this i'm not doing i'm not like doing i'm not trying to do like dates or whatever but i need to mention this so if you're in new york this saturday um there's something i'd like you to go to the delivery boys screening at the Roxy Cinema before a crocodile dose which is another cool movie I've been meaning to watch

they're doing a little Q&A after I think for a crocodile dose so that would be cool just a little something 9.45 p.m. this Saturday if you feel like checking that out and I'll be there talking to people and stuff too um

so that'll be fun uh but yeah guys uh I like the Mousy Cheese stuff um and I never watch I never listen to

Jake's iterations of it because I like it being two separate cinematic universes like it's the same one but it's like you know when they make X-Men movies and none of them Like, there's no consistency with any of them because they suck ass.

It's like that. Although, I will say, I did. As a child, I enjoyed the X-Men movies, but certain inconsistencies just, you know, hard for me to get behind with, like, how Professor X became disabled and all that stuff. Yeah, for me, you know I like

superheroes that makes sense Batman that guy makes sense because he has a bunch of cool as shit and it's because you know they had the proper backstory for him he is as rich as fuck

and he's helping out in ways that aren't really saving the city um in fact it's probably increasing crime indirectly um By causing all these battles because it seems like those guys are still definitely running Gotham

Um So not really sure what his plan is there With that, if you know, Batman We would love to have him on But until that day comes We can only surmise Which if you guys have a favorite superhero or if you have superhero gripes please send that to Jake while he's on his honeymoon also if I'm not doing a good job

with the sound on these please message Jake please call him on his phone please come to where he is and we'll make it happen watching a video of soda being poured I got thirsty just looking at the soda you know sometimes you do something that is very pathetic and you just have to acknowledge that and move on I feel like I've been pulling a few loser moves lately I gotta I gotta just fucking I get it I get it what's awesome about embarrassing yourself is that you will do it for 100% of your life I think about that sometimes how I'm still going to be like socially anchored just when I'm like 80.

Not that it's like a crippling thing or whatever, but like I'm still going to have those awkward moments. You know what I mean? Like when I've been on this earth longer than almost anybody, I'll still like not be sure how to hold how long to hold the doors for people. I don't know if that'll be the case or not. But I think it, I think it will be. Like if I have grandkids or whatever,

I'm going to be like, I'll feel weird about being old. Or maybe I won't. I might also be on quite a few painkillers and trucks. Depending on certain factors. Depending on what I can get away with, honestly. I would love to be as old and barred as strong as hell and barred out as fuck. There's... I don't know if there's the future I want more than that.

That's the dream right there. Oh, yeah. Just give me the light. Just give me the light. But trying to listen to more Sean Paul, getting into the summertime groove. I mean, speaking of summertime, me and Patrick have got to put this song out. We've got the song in summer. We're halfway through summer now, so we really have to put this out.

If we don't, I'll put it out for free on the Patreon or something like that. I mean, in any case, it'll be free. We want to do like a fun music video or something. That would be so fun. Patrick's awesome. Speaking of the podcast About this guys August 6

I'm doing a show With Caleb Pitts At Singers Singers Oh yeah Oh yeah I kind of want to get back into this Mouth stuff to be honest

So I think we'll fire that back up in a minute I like doing that kind of improv-y bullshit Because I'm not very good at it Which kind of makes it funny I don't think it would be very good otherwise It's just the fact that I'm I can't think of

I have to make up words that mean just words I can't think of that's how slow I've become fundamentally sort of a horse level of intelligence so I think we're gonna give back with this mouse stuff I gotta just figure out what the fuck I was talking about all right see you guys soon peace

all right we got another ad here I know you'll be sad when it's over but don't worry there'll be another one in a few minutes Guys, I know what you're going through. I know, you know, as we get older us, guys, we get into our early mid-20s. It's just not working the way it used to, you know what I mean? And our ladies, you know, our wives and girlfriends, I think we're pathetic. That's not the case.

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Now, back to your program. And we're back. Same voice, but different scene. A deep, long kiss. Whisker's rubbing up against each other. She was wearing a yellow mouse dress. He was wearing blue mouse pants.

Cutter of shark skin. Man, you better not leave me, John Cheese. What am I gonna do without you? You gonna be okay, you work at the post office. It's gonna be fine. Yeah, that's true. I like my job. And you good at, too. Wait.

And you're good at too. I was doing the narrator voice. Oops. Yeah, you gonna have a good day. And I'm gonna be fine. too. My uncle will never be kidnapped. Oh yeah, I'll probably just chill.

Maybe hang out with my uncle today. Who was with us? This is one of the foreshadowing scenes like you see in the movies. Real professional. Little did he know that at some point in the future, to be foretold, his very own uncle would be kidnapped

by Carl the Crazy Cat. an evil cat by the name of Carl cool as you could likely guess from the name as crazy as a bowling ball no holes in it shit

with a dick like a fucking rocket ink rocket big pink traffic cone he got a dick's old big car slow down when they see it they think it's a they think it's a worker's ahead

man he got a dick's old Wet. You could sled down it. You got a dixote, you couldn't hide it under the carpet. You got a dick so big, it hangs past his tail. He lets rest his tail underneath it. Or over it. For a cat. Yep.

Well, it depends on how the cat's sitting. Anyway. Man, I'm gonna go work. I'll see you later, baby. It's gonna be okay. Yeah. Say hi to little junior for me Oh he's right here

Hey thanks daddy I hope you have a good day at being a policeman Even though that's an evil job And people with that job You know tend to be evil I ain't no policeman

I'm a detective Like Sherlock Holmes except you a mouse man you're like that but you a mouse you know that right you know you a mouse man shut the fuck up little ass kid you're even tiny than a mouse

what's a mouse to a rat what's a mouse like to a mouse what's a guy to a not believer man get your bitch ass out of mouse fucking your ass man don't talk me like that I'm not certain. You're right, you're right.

I was wrong for that. I was wrong for that, man. In mouse culture, it's normal for the kids like that, so don't be weird about it. All right, I'm just a narrator. It's not my family. Yeah, okay, it is me. I'm kissing them, too.

Gets my daddy in the moment. The kid is really, well, the kid's actually grown up, so it's not weird. It's an adult son. man you can tell I'm a grown-up because my voice I'm saying weird as fuck and fucking stupid I'm doing clearly it doesn't be what type of thing I do is every episode I have no town I'm horrible this but I keep doing it for money please give me money for this please let me do this for a hundred years for money please oh my god if y'all stop

listening this I have to go live in peacester Texas again if that happens to market In my words, I am, I'm going to try to sell vacuum again. You know, I will get caught immediately and kill myself. Okay, well, I'm a kid. I don't know why I'm saying this. I'm a mechanic. I work on the banana cars like my dad who drives. Now, I realize now I've set this situation in the future.

So he's foreshadowing, but why does he ever keep in the wife now? It makes no fucking sense. That sucks. How do you fuck that up? I mean, this is fundamental chapter one, story telling. But fuck it, man. Let's just try and make pieces together.

All right, back to the real neighborhood. They was having a mouse breakfast, man. It was cornbread, grits, hash browns, bread, potato conditions, and french bread. You probably thought that a mouse breakfast would be all cheese. Nope, mostly carb-based.

They like simple sugars. Now imagine, if you will, a kiss from a beautiful mouse. That mouse is your wife, your wedded lover. Now imagine a business that could bring that dream to reality. I'm talking about Mousley. The new product that puts a smile in every mouse's cheese, grin. Mousley is an AI driven tool. Design to make being a mouse

cheesy clean. With new integrated mouse layoffs and trap enhancement. We can use mouse technology to reduce the need for so many mice to get basic tests like eating cheese and getting cotton traps and eating poison and exploding

into reality. with Mousley We're not just an app We're a fucking piece of cheese This podcast is brought to you by Mousley Any other ads presented on this podcast are false The only ad you need to pay attention to is Mousley Any other ad placed in this program

Was done so against the will of those who put it out It's a they are false ads they are not valid. And in a court of law, they will not hold up as advertisements. The only real ad on this show ever done is for Mousley and it's right now.

Any other ads are imposter and they're trying to hurt you and kill you. They're hurting and killing you with non-Mousley ads. Oh. Maybe their audience likes Hymns. We should give them six ads for Hymns. That'll do. They'll make people want to get their fucking dicks hard.

Alright Back to the story. So imagine two mice just made love all over your bed and it's red and cheesy all over it. Fuck it. Now you banging on there. Putting mouse dick in your spouse. Quick. Keep a clean like a mop stick.

Man, I don't, I think I want to take another break from talking like this. Be right back. All right. Yeah, that's better. It's nice to take a little brave from us. Sometimes it can just be a little bit much when, you know, you're trying to do too many characters or once. Sometimes it's nice to just talk to you guys, you know what I mean? Get everything off my chest and think about what's to come. Man.

I'll tell you what, man. I got a CDL test tomorrow I got to retake air brakes and passenger for my endorsements because I don't like to study you know what I like to do instead of studying I like to drink a I like to drink a nice

bloom right after work I like to smoke a little mocha and I like to look at my phone or I like to sleep and nap Okay, bear with me, sleeping and napping and looking at my phone and smoking weed and hanging out with my girlfriend and watching YouTube. Okay, and then cat stuff and brush my teeth and go to bed.

And now you're starting to see how that could be actually really nice. And it is, but you got to do your stuff. It's such a blessing to have you guys listening and tuned into my... what shall we call it my wavelength you're on my wavelength right now it's an honor to share this wavelength with you um i'm trying to give more in tune with everything i bought a book about buddhism uh last week and i literally haven't even opened it i haven't read a single word in it but just knowing that i own this book and a few other books as well has provided me with intense sense of calmness I feel incredibly vibrant.

I feel like a million bucks. I feel like I could do anything. I just had some salmon over rice from a corner store. It was pretty good. But I got the wrong kind of hot sauce on there. I guess the guy misheard me. I got the really hot hot sauce, which I felt bad because Eden doesn't like the really hot.

She prefers a mild, and I said mild hot sauce, but it's just, you know, I could have, I guess I could have made it a little more clear. You know, I hate when people mishear me. I really hate it. And I'm so bad, I'm so bad at talking. It really gets on my nerves. And it shouldn't probably get some people's nervous that they can't understand what the fuck I'm saying. I did some cool, some fun bucket work today, practiced my snapcuts, some different wedges and stuff. True work is so fun when you're not working like fucking 20 hour days or whatever.

And you don't have evil people with you. That sounded weird. I've never did true work with evil people. I just mean if there's somebody who gets on your nerves. To me, that's being evil. If somebody gets on my nerves, then that's evil. And that's what a lot of people don't realize is getting on my nerves, write this down if you need to.

That's evil. That's mean and that's evil and you're hurting me and you're killing me. So write that down if you need to. Because I'd like to have that outlawful. the way. God. Oh yeah. So anyway, guys,

what's going on with you? What's going on in your heart? Are you seeing what's going on around the world? There's a lot going on. And I'm guilty of tuning out sometimes, but I'm trying to focus again. A lot of bad shit happening. You've got to at least be aware of it.

There's a lot of amazing stuff too. I really want to learn how to surf this summer. I've been getting in better shape, losing some weight, and, you know, we're not there yet, but I'm not beating myself up over it. I'm trying to try different kinds of exercise and just be more active in general. Doing a little bit of elliptical,

some calisynics, running in the mornings not really much weights a little bit of weights here and there maybe once a week but not like honestly not even that for a while

I was just but I've been hitting it this week and if you've got the free time it's like such a no-brainer like if you're bad at using your free time like for me when left of my own devices

I really do look at it's fucking do my scroll as they say or I you know just go to sleep or something and it's hard to put a lot of energy into creative stuff like when I'm not do when I'm idle it's actually a lot harder for me to channel creative energy like in the shower I have good thoughts on my way home from work I usually do like when I'm stuck in traffic

but I've stopped listening to music when I'm in idle mode and I pretty much only listen to it. I don't listen to music with words, that is. I've mostly been listening to soft jazz and stuff, and it really keeps the juices flowing, you know, and obviously, you know, still a pretty boring guy overall. But, you know, we're working on it. And I feel like I've got some stuff that I'm working on the,

that I feel like is, at least something new. I don't know if you never know whether something sucks ass or not. Like, I don't think my stuff sucks ass, but if you end up not liking it, I won't be like, oh my God, there's no idea. I have no idea what's funny. People actually know pretty well. But yeah, I hope you guys are having a good week so far. I think this weekend is going to be looking real nice, kind of totally.

hostee but it's a it's gonna be a beach weekend for a lot of people I think I think this is gonna be that weekend everybody goes you know what fuck it let's drive let's go to the beach

and I love to see that how about we make some fucking memories this summer I'll put that how about we have a summer we'll never forget and we fucking turn the whole city up okay and we thought about that guys

have we thought about turning the city up for a whole fucking summer Yeah With the ladies involved too I don't like this Every summer Oh the fucking Yeah

The fucking A bad boy summer Awesome white boy summer Fucking quirked up White boy summer Hey how about you fucking How about we keep the ladies involved All right

Because I don't know about you I don't want to have a boy summer All right Let's You know let's keep it Let's keep it mixed. All right. I like hanging with it.

You know, I like hanging out with my guy friends enough, but all guy, all guy party situations are just a bachelor party should be it, pretty much. I also believe a bachelor party should be on the milder side.

You know, Jake had a very nice bachelor party where, you know, the guy's got a little rowdy, but they just rented up house in the middle of nowhere. Nobody gave a shit. And there was nothing nefarious going on, which was nice. Nobody wants to go home from a party and have to lie for their friend.

You know what I mean? It's not a good situation to put people in. But, yeah, we've been doing, like, game nights with our friend group lately. So fun. So fun. Such a nice thing to do on the weekend. I need to start shooting pool more too. I really like shooting pool.

I'm dog shit out of it. Horrible. But it's a really good excuse to drink eight beers in an hour and get really pissed off at the bar and to have your friend get mad of you. Oh, yeah. Me. Man, what the hell?

Oh, damn, I forgot. I forgot. We put the music back in. You know what I don't like is There's all this AI generated Jazz on YouTube now I clicked on a playlist yesterday because it said Iranian Jazz

I was like okay that's cool There's just regular Jazz but something was off They weren't making any mistakes It wasn't good And I looked and it was literally AI generated I was like this is What kind of fucking Mongol is listening

to this? Oh my God It's just like Oh my gosh It's just like John Coltrane No it's fucking I don't even know of this or this could be This doesn't seem like AI

Which is royalty free Thank you to the artists involved Who I've given no credit at all There's too many songs We'll get up next time What about that You have two emails from Scary Kisser

Scary Kisser Scary Kisser I sent you a message request you have 15 unread messages from scary kisser you have scary kisser has said you a message request has sent you a request for 700 kisses new GQ article about black loafers just came out

and this will be big for me I'm trying to dress like a guy who doesn't kill people this summer right now I dress like a black nerd which is cool but maybe not what we're going for I would love a $1,000 pair of Gucci loafers which I would not take good care of and I don't deserve you guys ever get sleepy or is that just me loki

wait is that loki just me getting sleepy with my sleeper I've been up since 445 feeling good though I've been doing that every day except for the weekend I get a little crazy I might sleep till 9 or 10 a.m. I will say when you wake up at like 4 a.m. And then you drink a lot at night.

It makes your sleep feel really amazing. You feel very good about yourself the next day. Like you can definitely accomplish all the chores that you are supposed to do. Well, guys, it's been a real pleasure this hour. Usually my solo episodes only run like 30 or 40 minutes. You know, as you guys. know, Jake is the rock of this podcast. He's the one who makes sure it happens every week

and can always see that with the consistency issues that we have when he's gone, because I'm really bad with this stuff. So I'm sorry this episode's a little on the later side, but at least it's coming out. So that's progress. But, oh my God, the saxophone. See, that's a...

But, um, I think you guys. guys for listening and uh hope you all have a good weekend be safe uh fourth of july is around the corner so be greened up on the constitution if you can know your rights uh Jake is going to be in Florida in August go look at his social media for that shout out to our producer for all our clips and everything Nick Lancaster hire him for your stuff Pay him well. He's a good guy. Chamber of Reason with Pierce and Derek and Matthew Goldman. Show this Saturday.

Go to that. It's going to be good. I can't go because I have my premier thing. But if you're going to go to one, go to that. I shouldn't say stuff like that. Let's go to both. Buy tickets to both. And I hope you guys find whatever

whatever it is you're looking for. We'll be back next week with more Pindejo time. Thank you for your support. You guys are what it's all about. All right, peace out.