Pendejo Time - The Prince and The Frog

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

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You're watching... Who? Damien... Just listening to some tunes. Just some Damian Marley to pass the time. Damian Marley. Okay, okay. Yeah.

Some Damian Marley. Some Wiz Kid. You know, I'm a worldly guy. A lot of people don't know that about me. And I've traveled the world a lot from America to... You know, one time I spent a weekend in the Dominican Republic, but only in the resort parts.

It was mostly the Germans. I still think it's funny that you're like deeply religious parents sent you there as like a, what was it like you turned 18? It was like I graduated

high school and they knew that was pretty much far as that was going to go. And so I went with a friend's family. Okay. So they knew the people I was going with and it was just basically basically a couple of responsible parents and then a couple of my friends from high school and their girlfriends. Nice.

Yeah, yeah. It was a lot of fun. I mean, in terms of an 18-year-old boy going to Punta Cana largely unsupervised, it was honestly not as rambunctious as you might think. The only thing is really, it's incredible that I didn't experience. some type of actual acute alcohol poisoning. Yeah, that's usually what happens. I mean...

I mean, because thinking back, I had easily 50 units of alcohol in 24-hour periods. Yeah, yeah, but yeah. And it's one of the things where you're in this isolated world where it's drink world. Yeah, there's a drink. Everywhere you can go, you can drink and it's free and they don't want you to...

Yes. And... you know so when I say 50 drinks I don't mean like I was the machine and everybody was cheering me on it was like the bartender had also had 50 drinks yeah yeah that's how yeah it was the drunkest place I'd ever been to when I went to

Montego Bay in Jamaica I was 19 and it was the same sort of deal where like my mom had won some kind of of gambling thing where she had won instead of taking the money they offered her like a week at an all-inclusive resort in Montico Bay

with her family I don't know why she didn't take the money because I tried to do the math and I'm like that's probably like she probably was on a slot machine if I remember correctly so it's probably like $5,000 and she was like no I want to go to Jamaica with my two sons one is 10 and the other is 19 and super addicted to pretty much everything that they have.

At that time, I pretty much was like, anyway, yeah, to your point about drink world, it's like... That was, that was, you had to, did you have to, like, sober up over there in some ways? I couldn't obviously do cocaine, and I couldn't take pills with me. No, that's not true. I took hell of pills with me on the plane. What am I talking about? But, no, I just couldn't do any cocaine.

But I was pretty, I was chilled about that. I wasn't having, like, withdrawals or anything, because I was, like, everywhere you go they would have a dude they had a swim up bar and then there was a bathroom that was like you go up these little stairs

around the swimmer bar and then before you hit the bathroom there was like a waterfall bar and you'd like go under the fake waterfall and there's another bar so like yeah I was just like I was completely shit and I always whenever there's an all-inclusive

I always try to do the math where I'm like I want these people to lose money on me while I am here. That's the goal. So it's like, okay, if there's 20, let's say on average 25 shots in a small bottle of tequila, if I can, in an all-inclusive package is $150, if in seven days I can drink 10 bottles of tequila, then technically they lost $40 or $50 on me. Yeah.

And they're using the cheapest, they're using liquor that's cheaper than anything you can imagine. Yeah. The resort is paying one penny for every bottle of liquor. I know. And all the workers are slaves. They really are. Well, so, like, when I went to Cozumel with Edgar for a bachelor party, dude, that was fucked up, bro, because every time I went to the bar with Edgar,

it was, Edgar's the only guy, only clearly brown dude in the friend group, and he's dark, and he speaks Spanish. And he's smooth with it. He's a smooth guy. So he would be like, yeah, if you ask for stuff in Spanish, they'll give you mid-shelf. They're not going to give you the top shelf. But they won't give you the dog shit. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. So I, like, tried to ask for something in Spanish, and the guy just gave me the straight butt, the butt liquor.

And then he was like, bro, bro, come with me. And so we went, and then fucking, he goes to the bartender, and he asks. And it was a big fat guy. And the guy gives Edgar, like, fucking top-shelf tequila. and give me the fancy whiskey. And I had to tell it. I was like, is this the guy? This is the only guy that's doing this.

And I was like, yeah. And I was like, I don't think it is anything with you being brown, bro, or Hispanic. I think this guy wants to fuck your butt. Like, the guy was clearly like a fat Mexican gay guy. But like, it's, in Cozumel, he's one of the workers. Like, he can't, you could tell he was gay. But, like, he can't be like, I ha ha, like certain gay guys at gay bars. There's nothing better than being really fucked up.

And you're at a bar, and you haven't picked up on the fact that the bartender wants to fuck your friend. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's awesome. And the bartender keeps giving you drinks and you're going, look, I'm not interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but this bartender is all over me.

Right, yeah. I gotta get out of here at this point. She's just handing me drinks left and right. And then your friend fucks her. And you're like, oh, okay, that makes a lot of sense. But here's the thing, is that you really come on top with that because you get free drinks

and then you don't have to have sex with a stranger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of what I liked about wingmanning when I sold Coke. Is like, like, sometimes if you have cocaine, the girls buy you drinks. You know what I mean?

Like, that is a secret that not a lot of... Did I ever tell you about Coetel's right room? No. Okay, so this was like... Fuck, dude, this was like four years ago. So I was out with Alex. Of course. Shout out.

West 7th, Fort Worth. Yeah. One of their few shitty downtown areas. All right. And we were checking out Co. Wetel's riot room. Yeah.

And Fort Worth folks. If you don't know who Co. Whetzel is. If you moved away, like 10 years ago, you won't know because it popped up. Hopefully it's out of business now.

I have a feeling it's going to burn down for insurance. But we go in. You should wait. Hold on. Pause. you should tell people who Co-Wetzel is.

Co-Wetzel, okay. Whenever I was fat, people, if an older woman wanted to flirt with me, she would tell me I looked like Co-Wetzel in 2019. I did not. We were both two disgusting men at the time. He still is. He is a lit filler.

He's like a weird Texas tech type like a guy who was probably handsome him as like a high school lineman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then has just been drinking beer and eating jerky for not as long as you'd think. Also. Crazy fat. And all his songs are, they're not AI generated, but they kind of might as well be.

Yeah. But they're not like poppy. He's not like crazy poppy. Like he's not like a Morgan Wallent type. No, it's like country pop punk almost. I don't know how to describe it. it's like, it's weird.

The only one I can think of is, is it drunk driving again. And remember Parker McCollum too? Oh, of course. Says, I'll meet you in the middle. Hey, nobody. Oh, dude, that's, yeah.

But anyway, Co. Wetzel, like, a lot of his songs will be like, she wanted me to fuck her in the back of the truck and I said, yeah. Like, it's not jelly roll level of retarded, but it's like, If you hit me over the head with a fucking sledgehammer and got me blacked out drunk, I fuck with it heavy.

Like, I do fuck with, like, when you're fucked up, when you're shit drunk, some of it goes in the whip. And anyway, he's a big fat, white redneck, country star with huge lip fillers now. And anyway, he's got a bar in Fort Worth called The Right Room. I want to establish context from my people who don't know who that is. It's a big, weird dance floor thing. very tense very odd the girls who worked there

are all like wearing like fish net type stuff the girls that get murdered in true crime documentaries like the girls that get killed but I also will say the girls are all really nice like they weren't like didn't seem like they at least were making enough money to where they wanted to be there but yeah Alex you know it was a typical

night out with Alex and that I was pushed to my absolute boundary and then I was pushed Jake I'll just say it further I push myself further than any man should go and I say that as somebody who did this also a few days ago right right yeah but um

I She kept giving us free drinks. We had a BAB situation, Busty Asian bartender, and she was fond of one of our other friends there. And, yeah, I had a Mexican candy double shot. You fuck with them. You motherfucker, you love them, dude.

As no, okay, here's my, I think, 24th drink. And I tried to do a nonchalant playoff. Right, right, right, right. The fact that the throat had gone into my mouth. Yeah. All right. And I just tried to do kind of a light skin maneuver with my hands over the mouth, just kind of rub on my face. Like, oh, I'm tired, almost.

I'm sleeping. Yeah. And because I had pressure built up, I was like, I was like, all right, I'm going to play this off. Then either swallow this or go to the bathroom, you know, because I'm not going to lose oral points here. Yeah, right, right. But I had my mouth that's highly pressurized. Yeah. I had another.

gust come up. And because I had pressurized this situation, I absolutely firehosed into Eden's purse. Oh, nice. I mean, I shot a water gun into that purse.

And also very much over the rest of the table as well. Yeah. But thankfully, it was just a couple of shots worth There wasn't like a huge volume. But there was security all over.

Yeah. I did not get kicked out for that. I mean, it is called the Riot Room. It's not called to like coming here and act out for projectile vomiting at Coetton's Riot Room. And I immediately looked around like, all right, well, if I'm a bouncer, that's when I kick me out. Right. Yeah, yeah. And so I rushed off to the bathroom, you know, cleaned myself up real quick.

And then I come out of the. bathroom, like, expecting there to be a security guard there. Yeah. And I wasn't going to fight it at all. I was going to be like, yeah. Yeah, I deserve. Yeah, buy it. Yep, my bad guys.

That is going to weird. Dude, literally nobody cared. Nope. The bartender didn't care. Nope. Um, you know, I think she got my friend's number or whatever. And, you know, that was all that needed to happen there. And then, um, yeah, we.

Um, um, not my best moment, but the rest of the night was fine. It was just, yeah, I had a little too much. And then I was obliterated. And then I remember somebody saying, oh, do you have like a place where you record the podcast? I said, sure, I'll show you. And I took them to my weird tool room. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, the tool. Full of paper and trash. Yeah, yeah. I remember. And they were really confused and thrown off by it. And we've never spoken again. but and I realized like a few years later they meant like do I have a studio yeah yeah I forgot people do that in real studios and yeah yeah yeah um and if you do that makes you a bad person

yeah it's not organic and cool you need to be doing this in some sort of closet situation or in a less desired room yeah guest room of the heart of the house and the house is the heart when you think about it whoa i remember when i was in nashville and uh our bartender was he had like a million listeners on Spotify but don't, that don't mean nothing

in Nashville. It doesn't mean nothing anywhere anymore, but he was like, forget his name. Midland. You know the code, you know the country guy

names that are like Cody Allen Whiskey Myers. Allen Cody. No, it's always two first names. It's the two first, Zach Luke, Zach Cody.

Cody, fuck, anyway. Yeah, bro, my name's Cody, Cody, Cody Jacob. And,

he was telling us he was like you gotta go to this bar there's two bars and they're right next to each other one's called winners it's called winners and losers and they're separated by

like a very thin piece of sheet rock and it's two bars but it's owned by the same piece of shit and we were like oh cool which one would you recommend and he goes well what are you trying to do and I was like

I don't I was there with Ashley I was like I'm trying to have have a good time. He's like, what kind of good time is very important. And I was like, I don't understand. He's like, okay, there's two bars. One's called winners and one's called losers. If you want to be home by 1 a.m. with like seven or eight drinks, you want to be buzzing, like a good buzz. And you want things to go smooth. You go to winners. He was like, if you're trying to get into some shit, like you're trying to, like, one of you, like, you're trying to get your ass. You're

whooped or like it's just like my wife to be is like right there he's like you're trying to you're trying to fuck so bad he was like you're trying to fuck something greasy like you're trying to eat some nasty fucking just buckle bunny butt you go to losers and it's like no

I may not neither me I think nor my wife to be I've got a hole in the middle you can fuck a loser I mean the way that he talked about the fucking place is if you're from Nashville maybe you can attest in the comments but he was like yeah winters is you know winners is rowdy but it's like you're home you know last

call is cool but you're going to a place called losers there's a when there's a bar called winners next door you and you choose to go to the one next to it called losers you can't be mad if like you come out of there with a couple less teeth than you started or like somebody robs you or you know what i mean like it's you know this is what it is i like Nashville uh i like nashville uh i like I feel bad to hear the people that live there. The Bachelorette party thing is annoying. I live in Austin. I know how that goes.

It's funny they talk about Sixth Street like like that also where it's like, man, if you want to come here and fucking get beaten by a cop on a horse. It is like that, though. Yeah. And then you go and there's this bunch of people screaming. And then through that you hear stuff like, and man, I remember when Tom Cigur was fucking funny, man. Those were the fucking days Whenever he actually put out real specials

Yeah It's all fucking fake And he's fucking Saudi billioners And shit fucking ruin and everything man I'm the guy saying that Yeah There's some girls like Yeah

HAL HAL HAL HAL HALCOP's ignoring her completely The horse cop is on TikTok live

Hey Yo, what's up? Hey I'm on a horse right now I'm on a horse Yo, we in Austin P.D. Yeah. I just got my job at Austin PD and I got my horse. I got my horse. They gave me my horse. Officer horseman. I like the idea they issue the horse like they would like a cruiser. Like you go out to the foot.

You have to, you have to put your horse down. You should shoot your horse in the head. I was on the trip. When I was on the trip, I met this girl from America who had. who had 17 siblings and her mom adopted 12 of them. And they lived on this horse farm and they went to this like, I'm not going to get too in detail, but they went to this like super, super, super duper like Christian,

wouldn't call it Colty, but close to Colty school. And I don't know if you ever had anybody talk to you. She knows the Dugher family. They know her family grew up with them, the guy who, the, what's it, 18 kids and counting or whatever, they knew them. Same church or similar. And I don't know if you've ever had a moment where you're talking to somebody

and they're telling you their life and you go, oh, your life, there's a Hulu document. You're going to have a Hulu, something bad is happening in your life. Like, not like my life where, like, shitty things happen or anybody's life. You know what I mean? Yeah, your whole life is. pretty bad. Except for the last six months or so. Yeah, the last like two years.

Well, not even that. I've been not even really that. So I gave you six months. Yeah, six months. Yeah, yeah. I'm headlining Orlando and you're like, things are looking up for you, dude. Things are going good for you, man.

Yeah, no, I just like, when people talk, when someone tells you like, oh, yeah, my dad, you know, my dad, he's got a room that's like locked from the outside and we're not allowed to go in there. He's a preacher too. And, like, you know, my best friend went missing. And you're like, what?

Like, you think that they're, like, this isn't a universal experience, but when people start, sometimes I'll be talking to people at bars specifically, and they get drunk and they start talking about stuff. And I'm like, I think you need to talk to the police about that. Like, I don't, like, I know I overshare, but it's like about people that are already dead. But then sometimes people will be like,

yo, my dad's straight up like, he's still alive. and yeah sometimes he just comes over to my house and beats the fuck out of me I'm like are you're an adult man he's like yeah and I'm like you got to shoot that motherfucker you know what I mean like you can't be this is this guy's still alive he's still doing crimes you know what I mean like he's still out there fucking around anyway and the other day I drink too much and I started telling people that I've been getting money recently yeah I was

I was at a bar in uh louts and it's like funny thing to say to a bunch of other white people as you've been honestly like getting your paper up and just started maybe getting some money actually and you're saying that because there's an overtime budget for

that week because of a storm that hurt a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah, I've basically been making some plays recently where I sleep three hours and I get a few hundred dollars from that.

When I was at this bar and Latsan in Switzerland Oh, I didn't tell you this. The bartenders in the audience will think this is good. So I go to this bar and I ask, it's called the Bulldog Bar and they're showing the Switzerland's soccer game. And I asked the bartender for a margarita and she goes, a what? And I was like a margarita. It's on the menu.

And she goes, oh. And then she hands me a glass of pink liquid, Thomas, that's filled to the brim. There's not salt on the rim, Thomas. This is for Ashley. There's salt in the drink. I go to drink it. It's like the ocean. There's so much.

There's like sea salt in it. Like it's not drinkable. Like if you were to drink that, you would have to go to the hospital because there was so much salt in it. I paid for it because I was trying to speak French to her and she wanted me to kill myself. And so I just took to drink that, Ash,

and I was like, this is yours? You can't drink this. I need to go back and get you something else. I'm going to go to a different bartender, though. She goes, she says it. She goes, is this just a cup full of pink, Whitney, tequila, and salt? And I said, yes.

She goes, that's not what a margarita is. I said, I know. She was like, I want something else. I understand. I go. She goes, just give me a Cosmo. It's four ingredients. It's in a martini glass.

There's no way you can fuck this up. I have the picture on my phone. I'll send it to you after the episode. I go on a picture of it, right? I saw that picture. Bro, it was a 24-ounce, like a Stein. Not a Stein, but the one right under it that you put, beer in, like it was a 24 ounce bigger than a pint glass filled to the brim, Cosmo.

There's like seven shots in it. And then like a bunch of cram... It was basically a gin cranberry with an orange slice, like, shoved down to the bottom. No. No. It tastes is so bad. I bring it back to Ashley and she was like, what the fuck is this? And I was like, this is a Cosmo in a 24-hour.

glass with a bunch of oranges in the bottom and like a bunch of fucking weird shit. She was like, just give me the fucking thing, dude. She couldn't finish it because it was like, it's my fault for asking for normal cocktails. Tom's, this was one of those places people were drinking cocktails out of beer pitchers. I fucked up by going there and being in like, can you guys make a normal cocktail? You don't go to a place called like fuckhead O'Brien's and be like, hi, can I get a smoky Manhattan? Like, you just don't do that. I mean, you can, but like, you're not going to get what you want or whatever.

You know, you go, you ask for a beer or you ask for a fucking Long Island iced tea. Also, something about Europeans that I found out, they fucking love porn star martinis. Every bar I went to had a porn star martini. I don't know what's in it. Let me Google it real fast. But I was like, why do y'all drink this shit? I remember asking one of bartenders and they were like, oh, it's big in Miami. And then I found out, I had the same realization.

in Ireland that every European motherfucker that I meet, not every every every motherfucker I meet when I'm traveling wants to go to Miami when people are like Where do you want to go to the States?

They go, I want to go to Miami. Why the fuck would you want to go to Miami? I mean, I guess if you're like a... I guess if you're like a depraved fucking sex club, like Bergheim, fucking German. Like, we all going to go to the club and we are going to smoke cigarettes and we are going to put out fingers in each other's mouths and then afterwards we are going to follow all the rules. Like if you're a nasty motherfucker like that, I can see why you'd want to go to a place like

Miami. But Miami sucks fucking 10 pounds of dicks in a fucking two pound bag. Fuck Miami. Anyway, porn star martini ingredients. One and a half ounces vanilla vodka, half ounce passion fruit liqueur. This is something Drake would drink. One ounce passion fruit puree, half ounce lime juice. Yeah, sounds like a bunch of fucking shit.

Oh, you said you... Could I get the porn drink, please? Whatever that is. Can I get the pussy fucking and cumming in it drink? Sorry, I don't know the name of it. In French, sorry. Could I get the cum shot? Sorry, it's not...

Could I get an angel shot for the woman over there? And then for me, can I get the coming and titty-fucking drink, please? When you told me, you almost threw up the fucking Mexican candy shots. That had to be after. what a Mexican candy shot was at the Davenport. And then you had one and you go, bring me three more of these. You had never had one before. Right, right.

Yeah, yeah. Those were delicious Mexican candy shots. These were a little overpoured. Oh, I see. Everything was designed to break down the body of a white man and destroy it completely. Every drink. Every drink is just designed to start getting you to talk. talk about your dad or like just

just starting to get you to throw up just getting silly with people you don't know well glaring at groups of guys yeah glaring at big groups of guys yeah yeah yeah I love to threaten people when I'm drunk I'm gonna die from doing this you're the nicest drunk I've ever met I've never seen you be aggressive ever when you're super

aggressive and I'll curb stomp people all the time you see me do it the last time I remember one time we got drunk in my apartment. We got fucked up. It was after we recorded like four episodes. And then you just started talking about... I remember, dude, you were so locked in on talking about learning the spinning back kick. And you were like, I have to pee.

But when I come back, I want to keep talking about taekwondo. And then you like, went to pee if you came back and you were like, okay. So Taekwondo, my instructions. And I was like, you were so locked in about, like, talking about Taekwondo, but not in a threatening way. and like a profoundly, I hate to overuse this. I don't like using this term, but it was a little bit kind of spurgy. You were like the mechanics of the kick.

I don't talk about. I'm a very natural guy and I come across. Super smooth, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Me too, man. Me too, dude. I love having to, I love having to gauge the temperature of my behavior

by having to ask like seven, like the movie Memento. Like I kind of have to ask other people and go through notes on my phone and text messages. The Philly show, I was surprised to find out that I was normal on that one. The New York one was a little tough to hear about some of that. But sometimes that's the way a rock and roller goes. I will say for about 15 minutes of the Phillie show,

you did threaten to rape Peter Thiel, and you also threatened to rape Greg Abbott. I think you threatened to rape Donald Trump. You told me I crushed. You told me. You're awesome. I love it when you do this. Like Sam Kinnison.

I don't remember that at all. I mean, I remember you saying, well, I don't remember you saying anything actually. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

I do remember. It was good stuff. You got to see that stuff live. It's the kind of thing where if somebody is a video of it, it might seem out of context, crazy,

but if you feel the energy of the room, you know it's right. I popped a Xanax in the green room and I think it was Eden? She was like, you're gonna take one of those before the show?

And I was like, yeah, it's for my nerves. And I had like seven, like seven beers. She was like, it was one of those like, like a,

like not a concern thing, but like checking the temperature, you know, like. And I was like, no, Thomas is going to go up. Drew's going to go up.

I'm going to. be fucking solid, dude. And then I got on stage and I, the last thing I remember is being introduced. And then, yeah, that was it. But, yeah, it was fun. I love fucking, dude, I love man, I love getting fucked up.

It's kind of, it sucks that. It also, like, terrible. It sucks that there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing bad happens. Yeah. It's not bad. I got gay as fuck off the cut water the other day. I had one cut water.

You can't be drinking those dogs. I had, okay, here's my problem. I had like nine banquets and then I had to cut water. Yeah, yes, yeah, you told me about this. Oh, my God, dude. That is the worst. You just can't do that. And I was planning to go to a party after,

but I was going to go to a work party. Yeah. And I was like, I can't go to a work party. Like, you know, I wouldn't say drunk, but, you know, not, you know, I couldn't be wearing a suit or anything over there, you know. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember you telling me,

The funny thing about, I do the same shit is that Coors Banquet, I can drink that all night and I'm fine. But sometime around 1230 approaching one, my brain goes, you've had nine Coors Banquets. Let's mix it up a little bit. Let's start drinking goofy shit. Let's get three. It'll start with something.

Like a high noon. Where you go, okay, shot of tequila. Mm-hmm. All right. Yeah. And then, oh, you're not going to, you're not going to take your shot of tequila? All right, I guess those are two shots of tequila.

And then anything after that, your inhibition is gone. And now you're drinking the shack, the shack juice. Yes, yeah, the shack buzz balls. You're drinking chocolate espresso, buzzball. Oh, brother. You're, and then, oh, now you're eating something crazy. You're eating spaghetti now.

It's 3 a.m. Where the fuck did you find spaghetti at? Yeah. Yeah. Now you're drinking one final hot banquet. Oh, the room beer. Yeah. Yep.

I love, dude, me and Ashley talk about this all time. Sleep, she calls it sleep wine. I call it room beer. But you take one with you. Sometimes you don't even crack that cock sucker open. Sometimes it's like baby. he's baba. You don't even, it just needs to be on the nightstand next to you as like a, you know what I mean? Like her, there's a lot of times that her and I have had date nights in where

we'll get good and toasty, like watch movies together, whatever, you know. And then how we should call it a night. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, good call. She's like, I'm going to grab another glass of wine. We can go to bed and watch TV in there. As soon as I hit the fucking pillow, I have the spins. I'm not touching the beer that I brought on the nightstand. It's not, that is just purely for like a mental comfort. It is, it's like a nightlight in a way. I don't know. It's just bed beer.

It's just there. It's not like a shower beer where you're getting ready for a night out and you want a little something. You got tunes going. Shower beer is good. Bed beer is like, there's monsters under the bed and you put a fucking Lightning McQueen nightlight when you're a kid. Bed beer's that. Bed beer is just like a comforting thing. You know you're not going to drink it.

I'm literally throwing up in the toilet and there's like a cold. course banquet tallboy on the counter or on the nightstand by my... You know, in that same vein I, when I'm hung over and I go to a diner, I like to have minimum three beverages. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. I think it's a similar thing. Yeah. Dude, remember when we went to that diner

and weed and there was like flies? Yeah, there were like hundreds of flies. And then we had to drive like nine hours that day. Yeah, we drove like nine nine hours to fucking... Mountains to Ema's house. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, to L.A.

I remember going to Piss and the kitchen door was across from the pisser door. And, dude, all the flies were, like, coming out of the kitchen. Like, dude, so many of it. Yeah, there weren't that many of the dining area. And then you walk over the bathroom. It's like there's a body in there. I know. It's so many, dude.

There was just hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of flies. And I remember being like, man, our food hasn't come out. And then that old cock sucker at the table next to us, when our food came out before his, he was like, we sat down. before them. And they got their food. And I like, in my head I was like, hey man, this food's going to make me sick, dog. I thought there are so many flies.

I got a big chicken fried steak. Which, when the lady brought the food out on the big tray, there were flies, like, following her from the kitchen, like, on the food. Oh, my God, dude. Fuck weed. Fuck weed, California. And fuck Mount Shasta. I swear to fucking God, that place is so evil.

dude. It's so evil. But yeah, I mean, I'm just, when you think about your comfort beverages in life, what's really nice about a diner in the morning, isn't really the diner food. The food's not that good. Yeah, yeah. But you've got cold materials to touch. Yeah, that's good. And then they have every beverage.

So you can go black hot coffee, shitty. Uh-huh. water. You're going to need that water. Yeah. OJ. The ice in the plastic cup. And then you got to go orange juice. Yeah.

Because you're hungover, so chocolate milk is not really going to be, unless you really are willing to take some risks. So. You're drinking chocolate milk with a hangover? I'm saying I'm not. Oh, okay. Ideally, I'm going. for Bev

and I'm going water that's free black coffee orange juice Coca Cola Coca Cola is nice with a hangover a nice

I like a glass bottle Coke when I'm not feeling too hot If I have to take one of those I'll take out the orange juice Man I heard a crazy Somebody was telling me I was there like

How do you cure a hangover And I was like These days I don't I lay in bed And fucking get diarrhea I fucking DoorDash some food.

I feel like a piece of shit. I'd over tip. I drink a bunch of lemon papino Gatorade, some Topo Chicos. Pop a couple Xanax. Call it a fucking day. And they were like, no, dude, the best hangover cure is two Adderall.

And I was like, dude, I can't think of a worst fucking, what? I can't think of a worse fucking cure for hangover than Adderall. Maybe I'm off. I don't know. I mean, maybe. You just for the dopamine

and Spike, probably. Maybe, but like, that shit would give me fucking. know what the vest solution for being too drunk is? Coke. That's so true, dude.

That is so true. And then you're like, oh my God. I think I just figured everything out. I think I just figured out what's wrong with me. Wait. Okay, everything's good. I don't need therapy anymore. I think I just need 10 beers and a fucking bag.

I'm actually drinking Coke and my friends. It's kind of nice. Dude, I know you're joking, but like there were nights. there are not I'd be on my medicine like all my fucking stupid like any SSR whatever the fuck just all the fucking shit

and I would dude I swear to God I would legitimately be like I'd be at the bar it's winter so it's not everything's nice I'm fucking smoking Camel Turkish rolls and fucking do them blow

drinking beer I'm like cutting up lines on my phone in the bathroom And I'm like, you know what? I don't need Zoloft. I don't need fucking Prozac and fucking Abilify. Dude, I just need, I need every day I need to drink 12 fucking ice cold bill or high lives. Do a gram of cocaine and fucking eat pills and laugh with my boys. Can I do that every night, every day?

Can I have this one thing? Can I can daddy have just this one fucking thing, dude, please? I work all afternoon, you know. I work six hours a day at a failing restaurant. Can daddy just fucking have 10 beers? Can I please just have cocaine and Adderall and drinking and weed and pills and my friends. Gambling.

People that don't like me, really, but Oh, I want to fucking, I want to come out. This is like a, I think this is even a younger than you thing. I do not like that the common parlance for doing Coke now is

ripping bag or doing bag. I want to, I, that's UK slang. And we do not, no, we have fucking, I'm going to go get it. I'm, we're going to do some blow. Blow has been working in decades. Don't fuck with the program. We're going to go get some yak.

Yack is great. It's a great word. I'm going to go get a fucking eight ball of yak. We're going to party. I've seen... I've seen... I've seen things. Missiles off the shoulders of Ryan lost. Like Teas in the rain.

I've seen people on fucking Instagram be like, yeah, dude, there's nothing better. Going out with the boys getting cold beers. and then doing bag. That's what fucking Chavs say. Council House and Violent. That's what fucking UK skinny jean wearing fucking Johnny Bravo

looking motherfuckers say. We're doing blow. We're going out. Yeah, but like some of it's like, you know, like I have motion. Motion is a black guy thing. I'm around to Huzz.

Huzz is again. We could still, look, we could take black guy words. White guy's been doing that since fucking time and memorial. But isn't it more ethical to steal words from other white guys? No! No, dude, we've been stealing words from black guys and it's been working just dandy for us. Yeah, but we get ridiculed for it.

We don't. We really don't, dude. I think we don't. I think we don't. When I used to say, oh, I'm throw it off. That's a zero. I would say, I'm getting, oh, but you're from Houston. Yeah, I know.

I say I'm a blow down. Like, you're right. I'm saying Houston words. That's fine. You say I'm a blow down. Yeah, that was another day. Yeah, I'm a blow down. For smoking?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, a guy asked me that the other day, he said, you blow down, right? And I said, um, let me think. And I said, yes. Let me think. Yes, I think I do based on the context. Hold on a second. I blow down a little bit.

Yeah, yeah. I don't blow down all day. I do blow down from time or time. I blow down after work. Yeah, yeah. I don't blow down. before it makes me nervous to come in.

Yeah, but, you know, I guess I've been blowing down and blowing up. Yeah, I'm blowing up lately. Yeah, I'm... Yeah, I think I'll probably blow you down later. Another guy named Thomas White just followed me. I think he just searched up Thomas White. I did that the first time I did S

that I followed over 200 guys named Thomas White on the phone. I got to talk to a few of them. I used to go, when I would get really yacked up, I would do the opposite. I would get super coked out. Like, alone in my room, like, trying to jack off, but I legitimately can't. You could not can't. And then I would fucking get scared. And I would go on my phone and I would search up a bunch of guys named Jake Rose and I'll block all of them on Twitter.

Like, I get scared of myself. Dude, I would get, I would be like, I would get so coked out that I would reach. there's a kind of coked up you get when you're like doing like when you really get deep into it and it almost becomes like it's not psychedelic I don't want to oversell it but like the paranoia gets becomes like on a level of a badass and tripping I remember like there would be several nights where I would be like alone in my room birds been chirping dude it's like 10 a.m and I've I've already texted my boss sorry I can't make it at my car or whatever and I'm still fucking ripping lines and I'm like, this is TMI, I don't care.

I mean, my brother talked about this. There comes a time when you're doing a bunch of Coke and you're drinking where you're like, I have to jack off now or I'm going to have a heart attack. I have to jack off. The only thing that's going to solve this problem that is my heart palpitations, which are due to 20 to 30 light beers

and like three grams of Coke is I have to fucking, I have to pull on my fucking car small-ass dick. Because for some reason, when you take stimulants as a guy, fun fact, ladies who listen to the show, guys will know if you ever pop too many

adoral than you're prescribed or you've been hitting that white, your dick gets small, cold, and wet. It just, it gets really small. It gets like, it's like five degrees colder than the rest of your body. And it's also just kind of moist.

I don't know. I don't. And the doctor also doesn't tell you that. No, they don't tell you that at all. you on that stuff when you're 14, then you think, am I gay or something? What the hell? Why am I wet?

Why am I getting wet? I mean, if I am, it's fine. It's fine. It's like I am. I don't feel like I am. Yeah. I'm fucking, my penis is like,

it feels like a pussy. Like I have no other way to describe it. It's a putt that I have. I have. When you're your penis feel like it's made of a small piece of clay. Yeah, dude, yeah. It's just like clay that's about to get thrown on the big spinning machine. It's just soft and malleable and it's a little stamp.

This is really going to help my confidence with the rest of my life. Yeah. Dude, I remember being fucking, oh, man. But if Adderall made you fuck better, then that would be really bad for the world. Dude, it didn't make me. You know what made me fuck better? opiates. And I don't mean better.

It's just like you can't you can't bust off of it. So I would always be like, I was like, yeah, I'm fucking like a champion tonight and then in my back of my head voice would be like, you are off like fucking two oxies right now. You're not, this performance,

this is a performance enhancing drug. You're not giving your, this is not honest, Jake. You know what I mean? This isn't, you know. Yeah. I could never, I couldn't fuck off stimulants. It's, It does suck.

I have a whole... This is like... I don't know. I have a little bit on it, but it's like... Uppers make girls horny. This is... You know what?

This is... I'm gonna... Fuck it. I don't care. The whole... The combination of alcohol and uppers makes women like... What do you do?

What are we doing later? Like your girlfriend, like... What are... And then a combination of alcohol and stimulants for me makes my penis the smallest it's ever been. The smallest it's ever been in the world. And the only thing I can...

can think about is like like fucking like Operation Barbosa like I can only think about like weird moments of history or like Building 7 or like Larry Silverstein like I get too coked up and too drunk and I'm like

you know like I had ex-girlfriend that's like when we get home and I'm like nope when we get home I'm going up to YouTube and I'm Googling Black Eagle Trust Fund I'm going to YouTube I'm putting YouTube on the big TV and I'm Googling fucking George W. Bush

Oil Company with Osama Bedlodin's brother. Foghorn, leghorn, human pussy. Foghorn, leghorn with a human pussy. Foghorn, leghorn, binned over. Bint over with a human pussy and he's got it.

It's pink. Fogorn, leghorn, with chicken pussy. Chicken pussy, what it looked like. Chicken pussy would it look like on human? I know you never really got into that heavy, but there is a there is a there is a moment of deep depravity that comes with like overabusing stimulants

my idea you know what's funny is I had a buddy who was real bad into meth and I've heard other people talk about meth in this way where it's like meth will make you do stuff and like meth will make you horny in a way that like afterwards you're like my

I definitely did damage to my spirit like I did damage to my soul in a way that I can't get back so I should not do this again. And then, you know, meth heads, like they're fucking tweakers or whatever. Like, my buddy who is a foreign methodic would tell me that he always jokes.

He's like, oh, these kids are gooning, like kids are talking about gooning. Like, they don't understand real gooning. Like, smoking a bunch of Tina and locking yourself in your room. And then just not even, just jacking off and nothing happening. But you're just watching porn for, like,

fucking 15 hours. and I was like, that sounds horrible. That sounds terrible. And he's like, no, dude, it's the best feeling in the world. Smoking a bunch of fucking crystal and then just yanking on your shit to the cows going home. And I was like, nope. No.

But then I would talk about like my drug problems and I would describe it to people how awesome it is. And I'd be like, yeah, that sounds terrible. Like, yeah, you've ever done so much cocaine? You start deleting family members' phone numbers from your phone. You do so much blow, you start deleting your girlfriend's number from your fucking phone. Yeah, I don't want to deal with that. Dude, I used to get yacked up, and I would delete my mom's number.

I was like, I don't want her to call me. I would get scared. She caused me out. She caused me, I'll get in trouble. Yeah, I'm like fully 24. She calls me, it's over. I'm going to get in so much trouble. Anyway, I, uh, fuck.

I wasn't able to, I didn't, I couldn't bring my ozympic with me on the fucking flight, so I've been having to do my injections again. And, uh, been making me. fucked up. I hate so much on the trip because, like, I wasn't able to, like, you know, you get off that shit and you're like, you know what I mean? I'm back on it. Yeah.

I haven't eaten anything today except one cliff. I feel like I had to really focus on my eating habits. I was trying that stuff. I'm not being too fat again, but I've had to just stop thinking about food so much. Yeah, that's a good one. Just trying to stay busier. Yeah. Like today I had for lunch I had a can of sardines in a can of Coke.

All I've had today is a rich. Full sugar. Oh, nice. Full flavor. Yeah. Yeah. And then it was like, like, that's not really that healthy, but it has some protein in it. And it doesn't really, it's not really high calorie.

I like how you've been getting into canned fish. Like, we've talked to. I just get them by the case off Amazon. They're just cheap. I don't get the fancy shit. Hey. Thomas. You're ordering can fish off Amazon to your house?

Yeah, I get everybody at the case. What are you a fucking cat dog? What are you doing? Yep, then I get cases of baked beans too. And I'll eat the cold baked beans and the cold canned tuna. Sometimes, so I'll tell you what I do sometimes. I'll bring a can of tuna to work. And then I'll order toast.

I'll get a toasted roll with butter on it from the concession stand to work and then I'll just dump the whole can of tuna in between the two pieces of bread and wolf that down and try not to choke too bad and then it'll be my breakfast Why do you do that? It's like, fuck, it's a ton of protein and it doesn't your breakfast is done. You're not hungry until lunch if you eat that.

Oh, dude, I'm getting with my mouth watering. What time is it? am? Usually about seven. God, Tom, no, man. You can't.

I mean, I don't eat breakfast, so I guess I got no room to fucking talk. I'm not a breakfast guy. This is a known thing about me, but.

Yeah. That's fucked up. Nest, you know what? I'm not going to talk shit on your meals. I eat fucked up meals. I had a cliff bar

and a redboard day, and that's it. And I went to the heart doctor for a checkup. I was like, yeah, I pass out. I've been passing out again.

When I stand up. And he's like, what have you had? today. What do you mean? He's like, what have you ingested? Medicine, food, water. And I was like, I've had no water, I've had a Red Bull,

I've had one cliff bar, I've had two beta blockers, one Xanax, and he was like, yeah, I mean, you're going to stand up and pass out. He was just kind of like, yeah, I mean, like, you're not, you can't sit here and tell me that it's noon,

200, you've had a one cliff bar, I mean, he didn't say it like this, but he was set up like a doctor. A cliff bar, and you've had cats, and you've had a bunch of blood pressure medicine and you had benzodiazepines and then you're telling me you're dizzy and I was like yeah yeah yeah my heart's beating weird and he would be like you know what I mean like that's not

what do you want me to say yeah you know what I mean like it's not yeah I don't know anyway it doesn't matter but uh yeah it makes you all that stuff can make a genius so for sure and I've been feeling really smart lately I bought a new book uh called a hyper politics by Anton Yeager.

Don't really understand a lot of it. I mean, that's not true. I understand it. It's the politics of, oh my God, I can't sit still. Eucorn. Bad. Random bad. Tacos.

Man, touchy bad. Man, random bat. Yeah, I keep getting all these fucking fundraising things for the Democrats. Like, I've gotten like fucking eight messages today. They want me to vote for the Secretary of State of Maine. I can't do that. I'm not from Maine. they want you to vote or like

Yeah it's like these fundraising things Like oh if you send 30 bucks You're donating if you send 30 bucks To Josh Shapiro Will match the donation I don't care If there was a way for me to To donate money to Josh

Shapiro to get his money taken away I would I would donate it Yeah Hey give us a hundred bucks And we're gonna fucking Put a one bullet hole And Josh Shapiro

house. All right, you got my money. Can I send you $500 for five bullets? Can I send you my whole paycheck? Which would also be $500? Look, I'll give you a month's worth of pay. I'll give you 20 bullets. To give him killed.

They're like, oh my God, what's that, $50,000? That'll be about $3,000. Fifteen bullets. I'll offer you $400 for this sitting senator's head Putting $200 on Mitch McConnell's head Yeah he's dude

I love that they're keeping him alive Just to push him through August 3rd That's so sick That's just such a fucking boss-ass move And then I'm sorry everybody If you supported a grand platinum You're gonna have to turn that channel down because they got his ass

It's over. Dead to Rice. Here's my thing, man. Like five years ago, people were telling me that John Federman was the guy and then it turns out

he's the fucking big green gooey motherfucker from the goonies and he ain't got no goddamn sense about fuck and he loves Israel and he dresses like a fucking dresses like he's going to a hardcore show.

Fuck him. But I was told I was supposed to like him. And then I was told I was supposed to like this guy and that guy. And they all end up fucking sucking my nuts. So when this grand platinum fella hit the fucking scene, excuse him why for me being like, nope, I don't fucking, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't trust any guy. I don't believe in any new guy. The only guy I think that I would hypothetically believe in and support would have to be wearing some silly kind of fucking hat and his fucking whole platform would have to be like, everybody's got to die. And I would be a part of that.

I would be a part of that everybody. He'd be like, we've got to kill like 60 million Americans to set this shit straight. And I would be a part of that 60, unfortunately speaking. I have a fake email job. I don't contribute anything to society. Probably not going to fucking ever do anything worth the fuck. And I ain't worth shit. So, yeah, that's who I would support.

I'm not going to support a guy who's like, I was in the Marines, and I'll fucking love steel. I love the country. Could you double check your mic settings for me? What do you think happened? Just the last few minutes your audio sounded a little bit weird, but it might be just distance from the mic. Checking. Checking penis.

Yeah, you sound normal now. Maybe you're just further. Yeah, maybe I was doing this. Yeah, no, it's all good. I was just, you know, for the sake of the fans, you guys are always saying, I don't catch anything that happens audio-wise. Well, there's a false alarm for you to ruin the episode.

But, yeah, I think for me to support somebody politically, they would have to help me move or something. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I view woke everyone's to run for office, I will support her because I helped her move one time and she tipped nicely, despite it actually being a very easy and quick job. And despite the fact that she was moving into one of the smallest spaces I'd ever seen a human live inside. Yeah, she's like a, but yeah, she's like a little, like, she's like a little, like, she's like a girl, though. They can live in like little less, like hobbling.

Yeah, I would argue that guys can live in little hobbles as well. like when I've looked at living situations for myself alone they you know I've looked at some pretty much like hey there's like nine hours a day where you can be here and sleep and the rest there's a ghost and I'll go wait 800 bucks a month yeah okay I would I would sleep in a Chinese family's kitchen if it was under $1,000 a month

at this point, at this point living in New York. There was a time I knew a guy who, well, no, me and my, bro, me and my roommates literally, me, Frank, and a guy who's no longer a part of the friend group due to crimes. But we lived together at this house. No, it's an apartment, sorry. And we sublet it, we were subletting it from

these two girls that we knew in college and they were living it was called University of States it was like the shittiest apartment complex in Austin off Riverside like fucking constantly policed over there like it was just a shithole but it dude

Thomas $400 $400 it was too good to be true and there was a lot of problems but anyway so we were subletting from them it was a three-bedroom apartment there's two girls we were subleting from four bedroom apartment

we were subleting from these three girls me Frankie and and when we got there we were like oh who's the other girl that's going to be gone and they were like oh no she's staying she got randomly assigned to us

she goes to UT her name's Jenny she's from China and I was like oh like she's like she's away for the summer and they were like no no she's staying here she's actually very sweet you'll meet her later uh we lived there for a summer thomas i think we ruined that girl's life this girl this chinese

jenny came from fucking like off the boat to study god knows fucking what this girl had never seen weed in her life had never seen fucking pills had never seen cocaine had never seen three guys me and frankie got into a full-blown we moved the couches out of it we moved the couches from the living room into our respective bedrooms to have more space to beat the dog shit out of each other over a half bottle of cracking that we could we got two drug to figure out who purchased it and she came out of room and she's like what happening what's going on why do why like she just came out full fucking chinese she's just angry as fuck chinese lady she's like 20 she was our age but like when there's a chinese girl yelling at you it doesn't matter that she's your age

she's automatically like 30 years older than me she hated us and i think for proper reason. But I will say she used to make fucked up-ass meals. I watch, dude, she would cook like a

whole ass fish and she would chop the fish's head clean the fuck off dude to throw it in the trash. And then just leave it in the fucking trash.

And they're like, what the fucks in the trash can? And they were like, oh, I think we had some pizza last night. And I would open the trash can that'd be a fucking fish's head in the trash can.

And I'd be, which one of you motherfuckers cooked a whole sea bass? And they'd be like, none of us. And then Jenny would be like, she would come out. I'm like, Ginny, did you make this fish?

And she'd be like, yeah. And then it's, I'd be like, you can't leave the fish's head in the trash. And she'd be like, I don't know. And then she'd fucking go back into her room, fucking yelling or whatever. We lived with her, we lived there for fucking three months with this lady. And one time she came home from studying. And, dude, I had, I had, me and Frankie were fighting. And I had Frankie in a fucking triangle choke, dude.

Like, full-blown, lock the fuck in. He's going purple. And I forget we were fighting over. I don't fucking remember. Probably drugs or alcohol or something. And he fucking tried to rampage Batista bomb my ass. And he did. And she like opens the door and he like lifts me up.

And just fucking, we were on the third floor, Tom. He picks me up and fucking, dude, it makes the loudest. Go, go, go. Like just the loudest fucking sound. And she just is like, opens the door. The front door. Like sets her keys down. And she's like.

And then like goes. into her room and at that we decided, we felt really bad because basically she couldn't be in the apartment when we were there. We just basically made it unlivable for her. Shout out to Jenny,

wherever you're at. I don't know if you're back in China. She also had a different guy at the house every night. A different Asian guy. And this isn't like me saying anything to be funny or edgy. It was just always a different... I don't think she dated outside her race is what I'm saying. you know what I mean Like I think

That's okay She doesn't have to Jenny whatever Situation you got going on We don't mean to delve Too far into your psyche here We'll leave some details For the imagination

We were playing watch dogs And doing like We were playing watch dogs And doing fucking yack On Saturday The sun was still out It was early I guess She like came out

Of her room and like pointed at the table a bunch of fucking lines cut up and a bunch of, like, my other roommate had one of those bongs

that, I don't know if you ever fucked with, like, the bongs that, like, have, like, 17 chambers,

and they've got, like, ice catchers and shit, and they've got, like, fucking Rube Gilberg machines and weird beads and shit,

I guess, to increase the quality of the smoking experience. He had one of those, uh, and she, uh,

points at the table and she's like, what's this is weed. That was a long time ago. That was 2013. I was a young boy. I was unafraid. I was a boy.

We was just little babies. We was little babies. I was trying to get... Little frogs leap around. Trying to get pussy from a frog. Yeah. Squelch. So you telling me I got to fuck this frog turn into a human bitch?

No. John Bernthal and the fucking princess and the frog. Oh, I got to fuck this frog. mouth and ass. Okay. How do I know which one? Directed by David Fincher. How do I know which one?

I guess I'll try them all. Let me tell you something. One of these going to turn into a bitch, the rest are going to die. I got 30 frogs. I got 30 frogs here. I'm going to fuck each one to what turns into a bitch.

Yeah. Now seeing it of that, motherfucker. John Byr. I don't even know what I'm doing this. I got no attachment to this lady either. I don't even know what she's supposed to look like. I was heard of his bitches out here.

Gritty reboot of Princess and the Frog with John Bernthal, directed by David Fincher. He may tell you something. I'm going to fuck you're in every one of these. I'm out of your age. I'm down in Louisiana. Make a little frog trying to give him turning to a human bitch. He's doing the putter, boys.

I used to fucking, I fuck every type of frog. I get my dick away from a cane toad. Loud and wide. I used to teach my dick how to swim. I throw up my dick in the pool. Like a torpedo, get all the frogs. You ever heard of noodling? Yeah, I used to do it the old-fashioned way with my noodle.

I used to stick my dick in the underwater fucking bog holes. Pray to God a damn snap to turn the door. Put my white dick in the holes. A little catfish. Yeah, that's a catfish. Ripped my tendon clean off. Hey, man, I've got to ask you. Have you seen the video of the dude in Brazil fucking the carp's mouth with his dick?

No, I haven't. man It's like four dudes in the river And they're in Brazil And they're speaking fucking Portuguese To each other And this guy's got this carp And

And he's got He's naked in the river And his buddies They're all laughing In Portuguese And he just fucks the fish With his dick It's not funny

Animal abuse is not funny Beastiality is not funny This is not a laughing matter But I do laugh at it Because it was showing to me against my will on the on the

4-2 bus going back from the bar to South Congress by one of my co-workers at the aquarium bar in Austin, Texas. He goes,

hey, man wants to see a funny video and I was like, sure. And I was going back to my apartment and he turns his fucking iPhone 4S to me and it is a video

of a fucking Brazilian guy just going to town on a carps or some type of big fish's mouth of his pecker. Air Pimer or whatever. some type of drought maybe i don't know anyway yeah it's not a good video don't go look it up don't don't search it on your phone or your computer anything like that um anyway

jake will send it to you no i won't i don't want to send nothing like that to anybody uh thanks for listening to the show um please go to patreon dot com slash from day of time and subscribe i'm glad to be back uh thanks for thomas for holding it down i know you guys didn't you guys got john cheese and i was a great one i listened to that on the airplane nice job john cheese and then I think that I think that was it

oh we got a we got a couple other ones we got two two dupe girls joints oh yeah you got two dupe girls on the Patreon go to patreon dot com especially medev time but listen to Thomas we were three for four

that's not too bad that's not too bad oh that's perfect man I'm not giving any shit I'm no blessing your balls hey that's 75 let's see that that's a C plus

yeah it could be back it goes some subscribe to the show. If you are in Orlando, Florida, I will link tickets in the description of this episode, but please come to Alex's Underground Comedy Club, August 14th. That's a Friday at 10 p.m. Please come and buy tickets and come see me do stand-up. If I don't sell a bunch of tickets, then my life is over and I'll never fucking do anything again. And then if you're in San Antonio, July 18th, this is going to be next.

weekend. I'm featuring for the very funny Jarrett Moore. Please at the Riot Riverwalk. I will link those tickets as well. Please come get tickets to see that. Also um, uh, yeah, uh, Alex's Underground Comedy Club in Orlando, August 14th and then July 18th, um, Riot Riverwalk with Jared Moore.

Uh, very funny guy. Thomas, you got anything? Uh, August 6th, singers and beds die. doing two shows with Caleb Pitts. And we've got some very funny guests as well. I don't want to spoil it too early in case something comes up. Beautiful.

But I don't think you can buy tickets for that. I have been trying to work on it. But right now, the venue only has stuff up for June. Okay. Which it's not June anymore. So that's just sort of no worries. we still appreciate the chance to do the shows, but we'll try and get some tickets for you guys soon.

Fuck, yeah. Peace, thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.