Pendejo Time - tugboat diaries

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

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Yeah. Yeah. Hello. Watch me whip. Now watch me nae nae. Yeah. Watch me whip. Yeah. Watch me nae nae. How are you, Jake? I'm good. It's good being here in person. Mm hmm. Yeah, it's it's not nice hanging out, you know, nice to, you know, I get some face that we can use corporate speak with each other. We can use corporate speak with each other. It's nice to get some FaceTime. We spend a lot of time on Zoom and on Slack and on all the apps. We spend a lot of time on Booble. Yeah, and Rundown. And Rundown.

We spend so much time on Rundown that it's nice. Rundown with a W. Rundown, R-N-D-W-N. It's nice to be able to hang out. We spend a lot of time on Flirk. And that's on. Yeah, send me a chirp on Flirk later this afternoon. Give me a rundown. We can meet on rundown and give me a chirp on the Flirk dot.

And then we can. Yeah, you've just seemed kind of aloof on Flirk lately. I was wondering if you wanted a chirp about it later. Can we circle back on the chirp? Circle back on the email. We can chat about it on chirp. Or we? Can we circle back on the chirp? Circle back on the email. We can chat about it on chirp, or we can set up a meeting on Flirk, or maybe we can have a little rundown on the – Yeah, just a little rendezvous for the Flirk chirp on the rundown.

On the Face Station. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I thought I had something that I wanted to talk about on here, but then I realized it's my show. It is your show. Yeah.

It's our show. We don't have to have any sort of interesting conversations. We're not obliged to be captivating or entertaining. We're not the ones who have to listen to it. Yeah, right, right. I don't even have to really edit this stuff, especially when we do it in person. It's like, oh, that sounds pretty good.

I like people tell me, did you do anything different to the audio? And it's like no nope like it sounds great and i'm like i think maybe you just listen to it i don't i like to think that some people listen to this on ham radios because they're like oh the audio sounds great i'm like all right i don't i did bass boost thomas a little bit uh yeah because sometimes you talk when we do the remote episodes i've've noticed that sometimes you'll do this. You're like, yeah, I went to the store the other day.

I don't like having it in my face. Yeah, you're so straight that you don't like anything too close to your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I eat through a feeding tube. Dude, I was cracking up. I saw your grimace posted, and then I remember that, like, right before we walked out of the gas station, we walked to go to the gas station, you turned towards everybody, and you were like, she had a grimace that

I couldn't shake, and you just said it, you just walked out the front door, like, you declared it like a king. It was just like, I've been working it in my head for like an hour, I was like, I had a longer joke, and I was like, it's not that funny. It's just a seasonal drink. Yeah. At McDonald's. So you need to have something like keep it brief and don't try and make it too funny. Yeah.

Well, I saw a post and I was like, that's funny. And then it like the memory popped into my head. You're like, you want anything from the gas station, Eden? And she was like, oh, chips. And then we were like walking out. You just like turned towards me in a hurry. You were like, her face had a grimace I couldn't shake.

All right. You just had to get it out. I spend a lot of my day just, you know, I don't even send it out sometimes, but I'm like, this needs to be one sentence. This needs to be more concise.

Old live concerts where jazz musicians, the horn player player he's like bending to get the note out and he you know that like he's not putting on airs he has to get that shit out of there like he's got like like he's got a his body has to produce these facial contortions and he has to move his body in a certain way to get the note out you're kind of of like a jazz musician, but with that type of stuff. You just kind of have to – you don't have control over when the music takes you. It's like jazz, but for being lit. Yeah, for having brain damage, I suppose. Yeah, I mean, to me it's just like when I want to create like a vibe shift.

Yeah, yeah. We'll be sitting in the car, and you'll look me dead in the eyes while we're doing 100 down the freeway, and you'll go, Ronald McDonald really be having that dumpy. And I like yeah he do and then you're like i'm sorry i just you know i had to get that out just when the muse takes over thomas's mind he's such a creative sharp shooter that he it has to it just has to come out you know what i mean and i envy that about you you know because i'm more of like i'm more of like a like a machine gun you know i say a lot of stuff sometimes you know it makes sense a lot of times it doesn't you're like a sniper rifle

you know we'll be hanging out and you'll be like you know the thing about barney is he don't play about his money yeah and you know i and i'll dwell on something like that for sometimes a couple of weeks several hours yeah you know i'm like a monk up in the hills. You know, I've got things going on. I've got to sort through all the noise. Yeah. I've got to filter out the nonsense and come up with things like, you know. And it's hard to even name something off the top of my head because it's all.

Sometimes I think Thomas is in a bad mood and I'm like, hey, Thomas, you good? And he's like, yeah, dude, just for like the last Three or four days I've been thinking like You know Teletubbies be in these streets and it's not nice And I'm like for sure man 100% respect I know You're like I know Waluigi eats pussy with his feet up in the air And I'm like has that been bothering you

And you're like yeah You know it's been on my mind It's been weighing heavy on my mind, on my mental lately. This thing, this idea, you know, that fucking Wario probably has got a dick like a fucking cane toed wide and loud as hell. And I'm like, damn, that's heavy. But you're the only type of guy that can handle that sort of the philosophical underpinnings and things like that. Philosophical thoughts like, can nobody lay pipe or spit game like a dude who knows he got bed bugs? And that's on phone him.

That's on phone him. That's on lame wrong. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I, um. Nobody's ever gotten mad at me for that. It's cool being white enough to where people know you're joking. Yeah, I think. Whenever you say stuff like, I need to stop, but, you know.

Dude, I had one of the most annoying conversations of my life at a fucking at a house show which by the way can you believe it i went to a house show and had an annoying conversation with a guy yeah who did you buy the house yeah i did yeah i bought the house me and ashley getting into real estate investing yeah um so like this guy he was like uh he was like, oh, you know, I'm – he said – what did he say? Oh, he was like, oh, yeah, that's dope as hell. And then he stopped himself, and he was like, do you ever say something ironically so long that it, like, works its way, like, into your, like, lexicon in a sincere way? And I was like, actually, yeah. Like, I was saying swag ironically like for a little while and then like sometimes i say yeah that's fine but he used a term like he like i

thought that was the end of the conversation to me that was the end of it and then he goes you know you know what that's called and i was like being an idiot and he was like no it's like new sincerity it's like neo-earnestness and i wish you guys could see the face that thomas just made at me dude i was hoping it would be at least like a like a stupid like pinterest german word you know what i mean where it's like 15 syllables and it's like barking freud yeah it's it ends up being like the in german it's not even a word it's just like a phrase that means like whenever you go to the park and you want to sit at one of the benches next to the trees, but you got to sit next to the ponds because there's a family reunion going on. Yeah.

Parking hyphen bugging. It's like, did you know they have a word for that? And it's only 75 syllables. It's like, I think I think I could just say it in English and it would work the same. I don't need something poetic for every situation. He was a very, very nice guy. A very, very funny dude. But there was something I know that it's me like i know that i'm like i get i get i'm very annoying

but i'm also it's like the worst combination of like i can be very annoying but i get annoyed very easily is so people will be he was like yeah it's just like new sincerity it's like it's like new earnestness man like it's like we've been so ironic for so long that that meta irony. And I was like, my brain was like Kill Bill sirens were going off. I was like, I got to get out of here. That's why I stopped talking about cars at parties. Yeah. Because I realized I get annoyed with people saying things that i would also say sometimes like just anything they say

that like i disagree with slightly about like old box chevys or something i'll get really it'll bother me i actually to tell you the truth dude i had a conversation with a guy about a year ago about 305 versus 350 Chevy small blocks. Okay. And it's still to this day, I fucking hate that guy. Like the 53 versus the 57 or something? I forget which one. So the 305s and

you know the old Camaros? Yeah, the catfish Camaros or the older ones? Like from the 80s. Oh, okay. How they've got the small block V8s. Those were usually 305s or 350s so that era of chevy v8s okay was whenever they were like kind of trying to save fuel right right right right and stuff and the thing is so here's basically this is what the discussion was i mentioned that i had a truck

that i dreamed of you know fixing up but you, but, you know, probably wasn't going to happen. And he was like, oh, cool. I used to work on old Chevys. And I was like, oh, sick, man. He was like, does it got a 350 in it? And I was like, no, just a 305. But to me, that works fine. You know, I'd be fine with just keeping a 305 in there.

Because basically, the difference between a 305 and a 350 same size engine but a 350 has a bigger bore so you can do a little more to it but also they have more head gasket issues so to me i'm like i don't i don't need to go a million miles per hour i got a long bed you know what i mean i i'm kind of just want to i kind of just want to cruise you know and he was like no dude you got to put a 350 in there. And I was like, well, yeah, that would be like three grand to make it just like 20 more horsepower. Right, right. And he was like, yeah, but like, dude, you can do so much more.

305s are pieces of shit. And I was just like, dude, fucking. I came into this conversation humble because I told you I had a truck that I paid too much for. And then I fucked up because I'm stupid. Right. And I just like I. But it's so easy to like. Well, you know, this.

I feel like it turns into a dick measuring contest every time you talk about vehicles. If it's not if it's not like someone, you know, well. Well, I would I would say this. Not like someone you know well. Well, I would say this. I have several friends that I consider close friends that are car guys that are the type of car guys that that hobby is the bane of their existence. It's like a curse. It's like they're werewolves. Understand that it gives them a little bit of like it's a great hobby to have because you save money on mechanic stuff and you have a lot of knowledge and you can make a little bit of side money helping friends out or strangers.

But every guy I know that is a true car autist is like, I hate this. I hate that this has been my thing because it's very expensive, very time consuming and very frustrating. very expensive, very time consuming and very frustrating. And those guys sit up here to me, higher tier and right under them are those guys that are like just maybe a little less knowledgeable, but enough to be more knowledgeable than you. And they're like, it's it's their pride as opposed to the bane of their existence. They're like, yeah, you got to do an L.S. swap in there. And then then you want to save up probably forty five hundred bucks and you want to get a fucking supercharger and get that whistle in there that, then you want to save up probably at 4500 bucks and you want to get a fucking a supercharger in there get that whistle in there that you know what i mean and if you

don't have that then you're a pussy and you should kill yourself and it's like oh no i don't think that mean you're gonna get along i only get along with people whose hobbies ruin their whole fucking lives yeah i want to talk to somebody who's bad at their hobbies honestly yeah yeah because it's so good that they might as well be bad because they get so mad at it that they quit doing it for like two years or they're just like yeah cars are cool yeah i i kind of like i don't know same with like i i like talking to people about lifting too and i don't even lift that much anymore yeah but i feel like that is way less ego driven for the most part compared to vehicles

which is weird i don't know so it depends on who you talk to but maybe it's just because i mostly talk to people who are already my friends so it's like right but well i feel like the lifting thing falls into that same category with the automotive thing where it's like i know guys who are lifelong lifters and they're like yeah it's the dumbest fucking thing i could have gotten into but if you want any tips or anything they know everything about it they know how to get your macros right they know like how to do a fucking compound lift the schedule to get you in shape for every body type short tall fat whatever and those guys are the enemies of dudes that are like so you want to you have a you have an anabolic window between 6 30 and 9 in the morning and you want to go to

one eat two grains of rice and you're going to have a cup of coffee with butter in it and then that's going to get your gets going to activate your myoglobin it's like yeah there's two types of guys like that it's guys who have been lifting for like a year and there's guys who have been lifting for longer but just got on gear yeah so you think they just unlocked his secret like i there was a guy who, whenever I was signing up for the gym I go to now, he was like, oh, you know, what are some of your fitness goals or whatever? And I was like, oh, I want to put back on some muscle because I had a period of illness and I lost, like, a bunch of weight. And he was like, oh, dude, this February I put on, like, 25 pounds of muscle in a month.

Yeah, those guys are really – And I was like, oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, I bet you – did you eat a lot? Yeah, those I was, I was like, Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. I bet you, did you eat a lot? Yeah. And he was like, yeah,

yeah. And I was looking at his arms and it was all like, you can tell like new steroid weight where it's like water. Yeah. It's like a big water balloon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, those guys, like I, there was a, which is if you, it's, I don't care if you do that, but don't be like,

Oh, I unlocked a secret. It's just doing steroids. I know about that one. do that, but don't be like, oh, I unlocked a secret. It's just doing steroids. Yeah, it's a hopping on test. I know about that one. It's funny. There's a UFC commentator, Paul Felder. He's also like he retired, but he was a fighter. I think featherweight or whatever.

He was talking about how like he'll run into fighters who are like, yeah, this six-week camp I put on about 22 pounds of lean muscle. And he's like, hey, man, don't let USADA hear you saying that shit because it's like, you know who gets to do that? Because it's doable. You know who gets to do that? They're called the Avengers, Hollywood actors that are like, all right, I need to look like Adonis in the time I need to shoot this movie. And then after, I don't need to look like this anymore. in the time I need to shoot this movie,

and then after, I don't need to look like this anymore. I also think that UFC guys are legitimately, and I don't even mean this in a mean way, but they are, due to their craft, lower IQ. Bro science, like, yeah. Yeah, because it's like you get hit in the head for a living. You're a genius fighter, but it's like you gain 20 pounds and you look muscular and you think oh i just gained 20 pounds of muscle when it's like oh you started drinking water yeah yeah yeah because you got down to 145 yeah you didn't get fat trust me you but you are drinking

water against you're gonna weigh more than if you didn't right yeah they probably are just missed yeah yeah well dude to the point of the hobby thing i i was joking about this with some friends um i have recently i'd like deleted tiktok off my phone but like i've been using instagram more and i like follow a lot of trades accounts like my feed is like trades and like hobby guys who like build decks and stuff and then like weightlifting white tie and like car stuff it's just stupid stupid guy brain shit dude people say twitter is like a mean place and it can be really ruthless like people on other social medias are like yo twitter be out of pocket whatever dude the comments on instagram reels a guy will build from the ground up like he'll build

his wife like her dream deck that like leads up to the pool and he'll build an awning out and it's like you know reinforced beautifully stained like it took him a year to pool, and he'll build an awning out, and it's reinforced, beautifully stained. It took him a year to do, maybe, and he works a full-time job. This guy, he's just a fucking salt-to-the-earth, good-ass dude. And the top-rated comment is like, this is the shittiest dick I've ever seen. I'm going to kill your wife. You disappointed your wife, and she's going to leave you?

Dude, people on Instagram, the reels, a guy will be like hey I just started lifting a year ago I got my bench up to 270 it's like a real big milestone for me it took me a long time and I only got one rep it's not the prettiest rep but I wanted to share it with you guys the top comment isn't like hey good job man the top comment is like you're fat and you should you should really consider dropping that on your neck it's really I saw one where it was like a it was like a 50 year old guy not one of the like trend balloon guys yeah yeah it's like a 50 year old guy yeah who was like back in the gym after like after like five or ten years of not being here man i got a

lot of catching up to do but i'm feeling pretty good here's me doing 175 on bench press and the top comment is like yeah i bet you're fucking enjoying that trt and it's like hey man that's who trt is for yeah it's not it's not it's not for 22 year olds even though i know you're probably on it yeah and also this guy is not fucking yoked like crazy this is just a guy who took care of himself throughout life he's a used car salesman and is also not setting a world record for bench press. He's doing what your dad could also do if he worked out. Yeah, exactly. But your dad is fat as fuck.

Also, it'll be like, man, I just saw yesterday, I think I woke up this morning, it was a video of a girl who was a clearly disabled little girl, and she was playing t-ball, and her dad, she was on an oxygen machine, and her dad, she was on an oxygen machine, and her dad was behind her with the oxygen machine, and she hit the ball, and she ran and got a single. This is fucking adorable, dude.

This is a wholesome video. I scrolled for like a good five minutes to try and find a comment that wasn't. And like, dude, I say shit that I shouldn't say on this show all the fucking time. But it's like, like, this dad can see, like, these people are like, yeah, yeah, you can go for it. The dad, you know, these people are like, damn, like, it'll be a comment that's like, where'd you get that pig? I hate you from Thailand. Dude, Jesus Christ. Like, I know, like, I don't know, Twitter or whatever.

Like you can see death videos on there now because like due to the thanks to Elon, we have so much more freedom of speech on there. And you can watch a guy get fucking just get his head chopped off by a fucking windshield wiper or whatever the fuck. But it's like the like Instagram and TikTok. Instagram and TikTok, everything is becoming Facebook where like the only the express purpose of every social media app is to be as hateful and as mean as humanly possible. And like I understand, like, hey, toughen up, buttercup, laughing easy. But I don't know. Those guys will like. It'll be a video of like, you know, a disabled child playing in a baby pool and somebody's like damn you guys actually had this thing it's got like 77,000 likes and all the replies are like yeah I probably would have just pushed me walk down the stairs and these

people have their faces on their profiles and then like you click on their profile and it's like Ephesians 22 17 the Lord shall provide owner of J&J construction company I love my wife and I love my children. It's like, dude, you're not even being like an anonymous troll. Like you're just a guy from like Tuscaloosa who just goes to church. And then also in between his free time, like tells like families of like disabled children, like I would have drowned her. Yeah. Yeah. There's a guy on Instagram and TikTok who goes to low income neighborhoods and will offer to to mow. Oh, I've seen that guy. People's yards for free. Super sweet guy. Yeah. And he doesn't embarrass him or anything. He just asked if they say no, no worries.

Yeah. And dude, there will be comments that are like because he doesn't do it. He only does it like once a week or something. Yeah, yeah. The views pay for it. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. But people will be like, why don't you only do free ones? And he'll be like, sorry, I have bills I got to pay, but it's just something nice I'm trying to do. Maybe other people start doing it, you know? Like, I'm not trying to get famous off this.

I just think it's a cool gesture. And people are like, yeah, why'd you fucking scalp their lawn so low? It's going to look like shit. They're like, why did you take the curb lawn so low? It's going to look like shit. Like, why did you take the take the curb in so far? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you know, these people don't have a weed eater. So it makes sense to, like, take it back, take it low. And they're not probably there was one I saw.

He did this lady's big overgrown backyard. And she she was an older Hispanic woman. And she had a lot of kids in the house. And he mows the lawn for her and he like knocks on the back door he's like hey it's all finished up he was like I think this one's gonna do really well you know if people find these like satisfying or whatever was trying to explain it to her and she was like oh okay okay thank you you know and he was like hey I want to give you this riding lawnmower he's like it's not you know I've had it for a few years you

know it's not brand new but I think you get more use out of it and it's easier to use than a push mower he was like showing her how to use it dude the top comments were like this this fat bitch is gonna sell this fucking thing you just gave away a solid riding lawnmower to some ungrateful lazy fucking piecey shit and again like not from an anonymous account with like an anime profile pic or what you'd expect just like blatant racism and like just fucking meanness just just callousness just from guys who are like where they've got to go back to your country goatee and then like the pit vipers and their profile pic is like their double chin and they're like you know love god love my country it's like dude even if this woman sells this riding lawnmower, you didn't give it away. You fucking hopeless sack of shit.

Yeah. You piece of shit. Like, you didn't lose any money on this deal, right? Like, let's assume for the sake of argument that she sells it. It'll probably feed her fucking kids. Like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it really bothers me whenever people make a big deal out of people not taking good care of their yards because now up to a certain point you know right but i mean so for example i was reading an article recently from

the fort worth star telegram it's like our local like big newspaper or whatever and it was basically being like it was it was showing how and it was showing this in a positive light, by the way, how the city's lawn enforcement targets this one zip code because it has the most citations in the city and they make a lot of money off finding people. That zip code has the lowest life expectancy in Texas. Jesus Christ.

And all the interviews with people were like, yeah, interviews, interviews with like the guys who work for the city. And they were like, yeah, some of them were like, yeah, this is like, like, we prefer just giving warnings. Right. Because it's like these are this is like a very low income neighborhood. And I'm not trying to like ruin anybody's life. But there are others that were like, yeah, obviously this ain't Beverly Hills.

People got to start taking care of their lawns. Yeah. And then it showed interviews with like people who are getting fined. And they were like, yeah, I'm a single mom and I work four jobs. Yeah. And I can't afford this $50 citation. Yeah. Yeah.

And some of them are like $250 fines, I think. Well, I think. citation yeah yeah and some of them are like 250 fines i think well i think and it's like dude honestly i feel like i feel like if you're below i think if you are getting government aid like like if you're getting if you call if you qualify for its food stamps i think if you live in an incorporated city your lawn should get taken care of by the city yeah yeah for free at least once a month yeah yeah because like people don't think about how much it costs to maintain a lawn and most a lot of people are like they live in a house right but it's like maybe especially in latino neighborhoods a lot of times it's like they live in a house right but it's like maybe especially in latino neighborhoods a lot

of times it's like they inherited the house but that's all their family had and it was already run down yeah yeah yeah and like just for like just for me and i'm not below the poverty line but like sometimes i'm like damn i gotta buy more like like i gotta fix this weed eater or something you know yeah yeah yeah like i had to i had to get a new weed eater last year, and I was like, God damn. And my buddy cut me a deal on it, you know. Yeah, yeah. But it makes me think about, like, if I made, like, if my household made, like, $15,000 a year and I had kids. Yeah, yeah.

Dude, I would not. You work 60 hours a week to barely get by. You're not going to get out in the hot sun and mow your fucking lawn every week. Because my lawn's been pretty high before, you know. Yeah. and i have the means to take care of it you know but and especially in texas because it gets so fucking hot yeah oh yeah like i'm an able-bodied young man and i'll be outside and i'm like god damn if i was 60 i wouldn't be doing this shit no well it's it's a bigger i think it's like a bigger thing of like the uh the videos where like it's just hate content. But like the videos where people film landlords film themselves, like getting the sheriff to go evict like a family of five that like hasn't paid rent in seven months.

And in Texas, like you can get the cops involved, like they'll kick your door in and get the fuck out, move out into the street, time to get out, you know. kick your door in and i get the fuck out move out into the street time to get out you know and again it's like the the the most top voted like comments you know are like uh like yeah that's what you get for not paying your fucking rent this ain't a free ride brother this ain't this ain't a free country you gotta work earn your fucking keep and you're a piece of shit parent if you would even let something like this happen and i'm like dude i want to kill you that is one of the only things that gives me a homicidal urge. Yeah, yeah. Seeing what people think of poor people.

It makes me so fucking mad. Yeah, or like, wow, there's dog shit in these people's yards. They should fucking be killed. I'm like, dude, you have had the most insulated, protected life imaginable. Or you're also poor and you hate yourself, but you externalize that hatred into other poor people. Yeah. One thing that cracks me the fuck up is that when I see people,

typically this is on Facebook, but I see people I grew up with that I knew in high school. I don't know them anymore. I've not talked to them, but we're friends on Facebook still because when you're in high school, you're like, oh, I had you on Facebook, whatever the fuck. And I see these people. I know that they live in poverty or maybe they started working in the plants because that's what you do where I'm from, where like you turn 18, you go work as a hand somewhere

and then maybe you go to pipe fitting school or welding school and whatever. We've talked about it before. We used to talk about it on the show. Like you start making $60,000 a year and you think you've got a big set of nuts on you. And you start talking bad about the people who grew up like you did. You start talking bad about your own family, about your own friends. You have no loyalty to anybody in your life because you bought a Ford Raptor for $786 a month at like 22% APR. But anyway.

Yeah, and I feel like it's a department where since i moved into a city i've had to grow in that regard because like i whenever i first moved in to where i live there's this one guy he's a nice guy but like kind of shifty yeah being honest like you can tell he he definitely has some addiction issues and stuff and i thought he was homeless for a long time because so there are people around where i live who and this is not a local issue but they get their money from stealing tools out of people's yards yeah yeah and you know they'll sell them to wherever and i thought he was one of those guys because he looks like one of those guys. Right. Right. But it turns out he all his income is from going door to door and asking people if they need any landscaping done. And then he walks the tools from his house along the sidewalk to their houses and, you know, and does shit for them.

And so whenever I realized that, I was like, like oh maybe i'm kind of a piece of shit yeah i didn't realize it well i think there's like there's a at least you have the wherewithal for that and i don't think i don't think it's a piece of shit thing to think necessarily well i i mean so i'm i'm a kind of a suspicious guy by paranoid i'm you know like i've had stuff stolen before i've had my shit messed with before and it just, you know, and not to, I'm going to sound like a fucking, I don't mean to sound like a right wing guy, but it's like, I have worked hard for the things that I do have. And the things that like the things that I've been privileged enough to have received, you know, like, like I, I'm able to live in a house that my family bought and you know, it not a it's not a fucking mansion or anything but like that's a very privileged thing right right you know i think some of it's like dude but what i'm saying is you're not the type of guy at all like whenever people post videos of like someone

get like oh somebody got the the rim stole off their honda accord and the comments are like yeah you know you can't like like like like nobody wants to work no more. They just want to steal shit. And there's a certain type of like nobody. Dude, nobody wants nobody in their heart wants to be a guy who has to steal shit. No, no. But you get hungry enough, dude. And you realize like I've been hungry enough before and I've been broken up to where I've like been like, damn, dude, like I'm not I'm not going to I'm not going to do this but if I didn't have a safety net like I would consider you know at least something like I guess the lowest I've been is like you know like flipping drugs or whatever but like

you know it's small I've I mean I I like all my musical instruments. I like took Bill, like whenever I lived at the house, like people would give me money for bills because the utilities were in my name and I would like pay their portion and then wouldn't pay mine and then use the rest of the money to like basically get high or like feed myself. But again, like I think the the like the point of the point of contention here is it's like I don't it's it's bad that people do stuff like that. But I like as a general rule, don't think less of people. You know, people are like, oh, you know, they don't have to steal or like these people like you don't have to steal or whatever the fuck. And it's like, I guess you don't have to. But I mean, I didn't have to fucking sell. There's people who have to steal and they also have jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, and it's like if I worked at Whataburger, you know, even if I was had worked my way up or whatever, like that wouldn't be enough money for me to do to rent. Are you old enough to remember the Dateline show? to remember the the Dateline show um there was like a whole series on Dateline um MSNBC where they would follow homeless people around in San Francisco and LA and and New York and they would uh they like they would keep hidden cameras on them and then these homeless people would like get into like 2001 Camrys and they would go to like studio apartments in like the worst parts of town with like no AC and the announcer or like the narrator would be like we followed young uh young Max uh a Puerto Rican uh 22 year old man he was begging for money on the side of the road and made 186 dollars in change and one dollar bills

we followed Max to his 2002 Toyota Tacoma where he drove to his apartment complex where he had a place to live. And we approached Max and we asked him, it's like. How bad do you need someone's life to be to where like like you're not going to cost them for begging for. Yeah, yeah. The guy didn't get in a fucking Bentley. The guy got the guy got into a fucking a shitty car with no AC that like overheats all the time. Yeah. Went to an apartment with no AC that like overheats all the time. Yeah. Went to an apartment with no running water.

Like how, yeah. How bad does it have to be where you are no longer like reprimanding somebody for living in poverty? And I think, I think part of it has to do with the fact that, um, a good percentage of like even middle class and sometimes upper middle class people maybe this

could be like a particularly a southern thing i don't know but they don't you know you have to work so much to maintain your level of living that you don't ever travel right which i don't think is like like that's fine if that's how you want to live you know i don't right you know sometimes that's what you got to do but i think me, like traveling has opened my eyes a lot to what poverty does to people. Yeah. Like going to New York. And I remember whenever I went to New York by myself, there was a kid who came up to me asking for like spare change. And I could tell, you know, like he was an addict and he was like

he was probably 12 years old yeah yeah and seeing shit like that i'm like because even the levels of broke i've been at you know i've been there's been times in my life where i kind of like fucked over people to where i didn't have a safety net yeah same same you know where it was like it was largely burned all those bridges you know yeah and it's like i think in the south particularly men are raised to where they feel like they you need to get it out the mud you know like poverty is shameful it's a thing to be ashamed of yeah if you're poor you need to hide it and you need to fucking do everything you can to to not be poor and if you're poor you need to hide it and you need to fucking do everything you can to to not be poor and if you're poor it's your own fucking fault you know yeah yeah yeah you know

and the way the legal system here is like like it's illegal to be poor yeah man and it's like you get targeted for it you get if you have a car that's old you're gonna get pulled over more often if you have to drive if you work night you're going to get pulled over more often. If you have to drive, if you work night shifts, you're going to get pulled over more often. And you've got a good chance of getting booked for something like having a little bit of weed. You know, your brake light being out, they're going to tear your car apart and then you're going to have to put that fucker back together. Right. You know, and there's a it's there's like a this is not necessarily like a southern thing, but I have this theory that like culturally, maybe politically to some extent – this isn't a very funny conversation. That's okay. It's fine. Having my high school counselor explain, I had it explained to me by several people that you need to have a good reason why you have a gap in your resume.

You need to have a very, very good reason. And my first job, I was waiting tables at a Joe's Crab Shack, and I expressed to them it was my first job, and I was 18 years old. And the manager was like, oh, why didn't you start working at 16? first job and I was 18 years old and the manager was like, oh, why didn't you start working at 16? And I was like, oh, well, kind of personal issues. But I guess if you're asking, I family life is kind of strange and I never had a car. And, you know, we just kind of the way I grew up, man, it just was not something that was in the cards for me and just wasn't really a viable thing. We didn't live around a lot. There was like everything was boarded up and like it was like the Chinese food restaurant or like Whataburger, whatever the fuck.

And then I got older and I would get a job. I'd work it for a bit. I'd get fired or I'd quit or I'd get laid off. And then three or four months would go by. I wouldn't have a job and I'd update my resume and I would go into another restaurant or I would go into something like they're like, oh, you worked at this restaurant from 2012 to 2013. And then it's 2014 now. Like, what were you doing in the meantime? And I'm like, I was in school or like I was chilling. Like America is inherently anti chilling.

Like you can't just fuck around with a little bit of money. Like you can't just save up. And then you're like, I don't think I want to work for a few months. I think I just want to like kind of budget. And then I want to hang out by the pool. I want to smoke some weed. Like it's an inherently anti chilling culture. Yeah. And you have to have a very good reason. And I think maybe this has changed a little bit in the last few years with like the whole anti work movement.

But I I'm not an old man, but it's like I feel like I do remember that work ethic that like very Puritan. There's so many vestigial aspects of like the religious genesis of this country that are like rooted in people's psyche. People who are otherwise not even necessarily religious, but like, why didn't you work? And I'm like, I don't know. I was 19 and I was like playing sand volleyball and doing ecstasy. What the fuck? You know what I mean? Like, well, you know, it's probably like my mom would be like, like oh it's you need to make sure you like know you can tell an employer why you weren't working and my mom's been working every year every day since she was 16 she got pregnant with me at 16 which i understand you know whatever but it's just this really bizarre thing i think that ties into the whole like disdain and hatred for poor people it's like you can never relax vacation is

fucking stupid it's for huge pussies. What do you need to vacation for? What do you need to take a breather for man? You got to make that. It's that get it out the mud, stupid shit that like is antithetical to my life where like, I say I'm a workhorse and like, I guess to some extent I am, but that's just cause I'm like the type of mentally ill where I need enrichment. But I do like chilling and like right now I'm unemployed and I'm going to have to like eventually be like, yeah, I didn't have a job for a few months. And somebody's probably going to ask why. And I'm going to be like, I don't know, because it's cool to hang out by the lake with your friends and fish and like breathe in the air and see the little critters on the

ground and see what God made for you to enjoy and to drink beer with your friend and call your friend an idiot and have them throw you throw you a bonfire party and eat cake and like pet the dog like you know it's cool to do shit that does not involve work and then there are some people in this country that are like you're retarded for that like you're useless like and people have the same attitude about debt that yeah and it's the same people who live paycheck to paycheck despite making eighty thousand dollars a year because they have a king ranch and a boat and jet skis and they're like why the hell did you ever take out a payday loan? It's like, I don't know, man. Because you need to eat.

Yeah. Fucking retard. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, well, if you live in a poor area, the it's like pawn shops, payday loans, liquor stores, army recruitment centers. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like you drive. I mean, i didn't necessarily grow up i mean i grew up mostly rural so it was like we didn't we didn't have any of that but we also it was like if you wanted a job you had to drive 30 minutes to it yeah so it's like if you didn't have a car you didn't have a job yeah and even like carpooling is frowned upon kind of you know it's like like hanging out the passenger side of your bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. You can't live at all. Yeah. Well, there's no like again, like there's I think.

Growing up, like because the area that I grew up in, every strip mall, it's a little bit better now, but like I guess gentrification of it, every strip mall was Little Caesar, Little Little Caesars, liquor store gun store dollar general military recruitment center and then you drive a little bit down the road liquor store gun store military recruitment center Little Caesars subway condemned dollar general like that's just kind of like whatever and you all grew up around that and you all blah blah blah like that was just the area and the place where you were from. And to the, I guess the initial point, like people, I see people on Facebook that I grew up with. We grew up in the same areas with the same high school, worked the same shitty jobs. And they're like, uh, posting an article about how like there's rent control in California.

And they're like, literally they're like, how are people who own these homes supposed to make a profit on them? If, if this California has rent control to how are people who own these homes supposed to make a profit on them if if this california has rent control to where these people who invest their hard-earned money and their time into real estate can't make a dime i'm so glad i live in texas where there's no rent control and i do it again and it's like it's like first of all there is rent control here but like to you to your point earlier about the homicidal urge thing, I'm like, I want to choke the life out of you. You fucking stupid sack of shit. Like, I hate you.

Like you. Like, how do you end up at a point where you're copping for Calif? Like for like you are you are you are simping for like California real estate investors the to to you a guy like a salt to the earth quote-unquote pipe fitter your natural enemy is like a chain smokers listening like mushroom like micro dosing real estate investor who hates you by the way he hates you yeah he thinks you're a backwards inbred dumbass yeah you can i feel like it should be more socially acceptable especially here to be like yeah my job fucking sucks like like if you're a welder or something like that and you make good money you know more power to you i i have a lot of respect for those guys but it is funny whenever those guys are like

everybody should have to be a fucking slave like yeah exactly i'm like i'm glad that you i'm glad that you're making good money and stuff. You deserve it, you know, but like I've had horrible jobs where I've made decent money and I've been like, man, I hope fucking, I hope nobody who comes out, like if I have kids. I hope nobody has to do this. I hope none of them. I hope not.

If my kids have to be fucking landscapers, I'm going to feel like a failure. Yeah. Dude, same. Like I, like if I i like like decide to have kids or whatever it's like there's this idea where i think weren't from the same sort of area but there's this idea maybe it's a southern thing maybe it's just a working class there were some working people that are like uh they don't want their kids to have it easier that's like oh i ain't gonna raise no son like my son's gonna work the moment he turns 16 he's working the moment he's 18 he's out on his fucking ass

right no such thing as a free lunch around here and i'm like dude do you hate your fucking kids like do you hate your family because i don't want my kid to have to on his 18th birthday go work at a fucking seafood restaurant like i don't want i would never want my kid to have to work in roofing, where you're like, you're just getting first-degree burns all day because it's 110 degrees and you're working with shingles. Like, you're working with asphalt all fucking day. I don't want to have my kid to pour concrete. Like, you know, you want to maybe instill, like, you know,

I don't think it's right-wing or weird or stupid to say, like, having some amount of work ethic is good, especially if you live in a country that inherently values it to the point where if you don't have it, you're going to be homeless. Yeah. But I'm also not the type of motherfucker that's going to be like, no, I want when my kids are 16, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to call up my buddy who works in landscaping and I'm going to have him dig dig fucking holes for 10 bucks an hour.

So he learns, learns what that life is fucking dog shit. Yeah. That life is this thing that like you never, ever get to ever enjoy that leisure is a sin that to be crucified for, to ever have any downtime, to like, to ever have any, um, to, to have a meaningful hobbies and a meaningful life, to have memories with family and friends is somehow like, was there a guy I follow on Instagram? He's like a lifting dude that he was talking about how, like before, I guess his Instagram took off, he worked construction, that guy, that, that viral video that was like, the guy was like, you got soft hands, brother.

I worked 190, like talking about guys like that, that are like, that they revel and are proud in the fact that since, since they were 17 years old, they've never had a moment to go. Yeah, and then those guys retire at 70 and then die. Yeah, because by the time they're 40, their backs are gone. Their knees are fucked. Their shoulders are torn to shit. And it's not a life that I would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever wish on anybody that I brought in. Like, if you make a human being, you you I don't know how it works.

We have to talk about that later. If you make a person. And then you you you kind of force life on this thing and you're like, hey, me and your mom, we liked each other a whole bunch, and we figured we'd make a guy. So welcome to the world. I know that you're like one years old right now, and you think I'm just fucking this amorphous thing that feeds you, and you don't have object permanence yet, and I disappear, and you freak the fuck out, and then I reappear. But in about 15 years, which as an adult I can tell you is not that long of a time. It's pretty long, but not incorrect.

In 15 years, I'm going to call my friend Big Mike who runs a concrete business and I'm going to take away your youth and I'm going to thrust you into the world of adulthood at a very early age. And by the way, adulthood, I'm going to drive this into your head. Adulthood is hell. It's not a thing where you get to have meaningful relationships with people in your life. You need to hate everyone that isn't you. Anyone that makes more money than you is a rich piece of shit,

and anyone that makes less money than you is a shameful drug addict junkie. I'm the only authority figure in your life. By the way, we love Jesus in this house. We go to church every goddamn Sunday. It's a way to raise people that I think it's a great way to raise a piece of shit it's a great way like if you want your son or daughter to be kind of like

this embittered petty holier than thou fucking loser then yeah have them pour concrete on their like from their 16th birthday and then if they're like dad I want to go to college and be like college is for fucking you better study something that's going to make you one hundred thousand dollars a day because otherwise i ain't paying for it i knew people

like that yeah i don't think i was i mean my parents were like we want you to be able to do whatever you want you know stuff like that but i kind of i i get i get where people come from like when you have to kind of give up on your own dreams you you kind of assume your own right won't work out right right right yeah which i get that but yeah it's a i mean my my mom like she was i was lucky enough in the sense like i you know the good things about how i grew up is that my mom was very supportive of anything i wanted to do my mom like had me super young and had to work at like sonic and then was like a recession like three jobs just to like be able to like afford to like live at home with a kid yeah and so because of that i think she went the other way with it when i was like 14 i was

like i want to be an actor and she was like all right well move to california and do that and i was like i want to go to film school or i want to be a lawyer or i wanted to do all these things and she was like yeah i wouldn't recommend going to the one thing that she did say i think i've expressed this on here before she i told her i wanted to go to acting school and she was like look i love you but um if you want to get yourself in a hundred thousand dollars in debt to learn how to lie like on kid to learn how to be a different guy that's on you big dog um i would recommend just moving to a place where that's a viable career path wait tables and then just do that that's you know it's funny my My parents had a moment like that with me, but it was with my manic idea was I was going to move to Alaska to become a snow crab fisher.

I love that. And my dad was like, Thomas, I think you're going to get hurt pretty bad if you do something. You know, those guys out there are all addicted to pills and they die at like 33. Yeah, he was like, Thomas, you do not have the best reflexes. And that's just me being honest. And he was like, I think, you know, if something were to go wrong on a ship, sometimes something will go wrong. And you've been like this your whole life, and that's okay. But something will go really wrong, and what you do is you just stand there.

Yeah. Which is true, dude. I remember growing up like my little brother would like fall and get hurt or something and i would just watch him yeah like i wasn't trying to be mean or anything but i was like all right he'll be all right just kind of stand there and look at him sternly and then he'll get up which probably probably a reflection of things that happened to me but anyway you know right right no it's like oh that and also i wanted to

work my way up to being a barge captain on the mississippi river dude i used i used to have the stupidest dreams i wanted to be mark twain our our like teenage like our youthful boy dreams were like i want to i want to be like for me it was like i want to be the the you know the the musician or the actor that came from nothing that did it all on his own i don I want to be the the you know the the musician or the actor that came from nothing that did it all on his own I don't want to have like my uncle wasn't a producer like I wanted to be the famous musician that like bust on the streets and like played the little bars or whatever and then like I wanted to be an actor like I wanted to be like James Dean where he worked in a material shop or like a meatpacking warehouse and then you know became a big actor

he did it all on his own and then you're like i want to work on a tugboat on the illinois river you know that song long hot summer day i want to live that life but in real life i want to be just kind of like a guy with a with a big mustache that stinks like fish all day and gasoline and i want to smoke a big cigar and and I want to go, hmm. Dude, I still, to this day, every once in a while, I'll be like, damn, it would be so cool to be like a fucking, just have a farm. And then I wear overalls, and then I have a big corncob pipe, and then I go, yeah, we needed that rain. And then I'm like, wait, Thomas, you don't want to do any of that do you i'm like no not really i don't think i want to wake up at four every morning just to spray the earth with horrible pesticides yeah i also like it would be funny to be like yeah i'm starting a huge farm

as a guy like i have like i have like 800 in savings right now yeah and it's all going to my my community college tuition so yeah it's uh i remember uh i was watching true detective um i was living with my buddy at the time who was like very moneyed and we had this like shitty apartment and and um and he was like uh like he came from money but like i don't know i guess his parents were good enough to instill and i'm like you know like, you should have your own job, you know, whatever, so we were working at a restaurant, and we were watching True Detective, and I'd already seen it, and I was like, dude, this is one of the best TV, the first season, this is one of the best TV shows of all time, and he's like, alright, you know, we binge-watched, and he's like, this is a cool show, and we came to the part of the series where Matthew McConaughey,

the older version of Russ Cole, his, he older version of Russ Cole, he worked in that bar and he lived in a room behind the bar when he was in his 50s. And it was in the middle of Montana somewhere, and the guy that owned the bar was an old vet that didn't talk. And he was talking to the police, like, you know what I've been getting up to these days? Monday through Wednesday I work at a bar, and Thursdays I drink because that's my day off. And I remember verbalizing because I was like, you know what, that sounds like a sick-ass life

to just be a bartender and a bouncer with a dark past at a Montana biker bar owned by a Vietnam vet who did so many war crimes. And I was like, man, that's probably a sick life. It was Frank. Frank goes, what do you mean? And I was I was like oh dude like it would probably be so cool to like you know be a bouncer at a bar in your 50s and you live in the bar and like you just get to drink all day and watch old like football highlights and like boxing highlights on a tube tv and you

like smoke cigarettes and he was like dude in the show Matthew McConaughey's like a piece of shit like he's like not a good guy at all. And I was like, no, but like, wouldn't it be cool? Like before you retire, just for like 10 years to like live out in the country and like a one bedroom shack and just like whittle a piece of wood down and just like drink moonshine. And he was like, no, dude, when I'm 50, like I want to live in a big house. I like I like how both both of us are like if we had the same lives but weren't depressed yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like man if i could just work at a gas station and like be happy yeah yeah if we didn't have like a death drive that made us want to do other

things different it like i i do to the point of the boat fisherman thing like sometimes life will kind of erode me down over time and i do get really depressed and like i get overwhelmed and like and i think like nah dude that rust cole season one true detective 55 year old rust where it's like you live in a you live in a shack behind a bar and then you walk two you walk two minutes and you open the bar up and the owner's in there and he's drunk and you just play some waylon jennings over the jukebox. You smoke a cigarette indoors and one guy comes in. It's your first customer and your last customer all day. You give him an ice cold Budweiser and you drink one with him and you guys sit there

and all you do is you look at each other and you go, it's hot. And the guy goes, it is hot, brother. And then you go, Kandahar? I never served. The guy goes, yeah, Kandahar i never served but the guy goes yeah kandahar yeah i for a while one of my fantasies i had was working up working my way up to becoming a railroad conductor and like an engineer yeah so and there's a bunch of like train stations in in fort. There's a bunch of like, like BNSF and all those. Yeah.

Yeah. And, uh, I, I remember going on indeed and looking up like entry level positions. Uh, and usually on indeed, it's like,

you know, we're more like a people company, but dude, it was like, I think it was a BNSF lifted listing. And it was like for a hand, basically like you would ride on the train and do the job requirements it was like it was like an old like sea captain had written it it

was like this job will put you through hell it was like it was like requirements it was like must be able to carry at least 80 pounds while sprinting and i was like do you have to be a fucking navy seal to work for the railroad it was like must be able to work for 48 hours straight and we drug test every 30 minutes must have a nice haircut you must be 6'2 250 lean cut as fuck and have a big ass dick yeah yeah yeah it was like must be able to inhale smoke constantly it will be the only thing you breathe you will sleep on a metal cot lungs must be impervious to asbestos and gold tar must be willing to outrun a train i was like god damn it and then i was like okay so how long does it take to become like an engineer? Like one of the guys who, and it was like maybe 15 to 25 years if you are not dead yet.

If you do not get killed by a lizard, a reptilian. Yeah, I was like, do you have to ride on top of the train? Is this a hobo position? Like for some reason I was like, maybe I could hop a train and just have the little stick with a bag on the end of it. And then they'd be like, we need a hand. Go get old Tom from up top of the train and have him shovel coal you're like 24 but you look 82 yeah i forgot that the railroad system in america is still from like when 1886 dude yeah they built it to carry slaves yeah i was like oh wait never mind yeah i i had the fantasy

in my head like oh you want to work for the railroad? Here's your striped overalls, and we'll give you a gay little hat. Here's your jug of moonshine. Yeah, you drive the train, and you sit in the AC, and you honk the horn whenever you want to. You don't have to talk to anybody, and you can take the train wherever you want. Here's your bullwhip and your big whistle. Here's your old Colt Dragoon fucking revolver. Alright, yeah. So you clock in, you show up and you shout dag nabbit and that clocks you in.

And you work 10 hours a week. Like to me, I wanted to take the train home every day. That was how I pictured it. Like you would get on the train and you would do a big lap around pictured it like you would get on the train and you would do a big lap around dallas and then come back home on the train like park like i wanted to park the train engine in my driveway yeah yeah i dude i didn't think about the fact that trains go really fucking far and they fast yeah and some of them not fast some of them go like 40 miles an hour but they go all the way to like utah from like galveston yeah you're not taking cool trips to like bali you know you're going you're going to fucking omaha and back every month yeah the literally these were built in places where not even poor people would live

yeah yeah you will go the to the flattest places in America and drop off cattle. We're not a soul can be found or seen. Yeah. Like the same with like the, I was like, Oh yeah. Crab fishing would be fun. You get to go to the Southern sea. And then I looked up like what that is.

And it's like, yeah, it's just the worst place in the world. It's where like the crackings live. All the crabs are like, they have one big claw that's like can pinch through steel yeah they have like concealed handgun licenses the crabs do so you have to like it's like yeah we catch dolphins every day we just shoot them and throw them back yeah we sometimes we get big cute

walruses we chop their tusks off and their tails and throw them back in the water yeah your job is to safely euthanize all the rare whales we find. By safely, we mean we give you a big blunderbuss that fires like forks and knives and shit. You don't have to worry about pirates anymore, but we do catch all these endangered fish that you just have to slit their throats and then throw them back. We got basklists out here, and they're bad. Your job is destroying the world slowly. We specialize in overfishing and killing our employees. Indeed, it's like $11 an hour to ruin the ecosystem of Earth.

You do get overtime, but you work 175 hours a week, and you will sleep with a convicted pedophile on the bunk above you. My fucking dad, he worked on the tugboats in the ship channel. This was right before I was born like right before he met my mom and then like a little bit like during and then like for a little while after he worked on the tugboat um and i remember when i was like coming up on the age uh when i had these fantasies like where i was like like i don't want to be an actor but you know like i do so stupid i was like you know i could probably like work in the plants to work on a tugboat while I'm trying to be an actor in Pasadena, Texas. Like I was like, like if you so I was like talking to my dad and I was like, I was like, oh, like what jobs did you have?

You know, when you were younger and he was like, well, like after I got out of military, you know, I spent a lot of time with Walter Reed and I didn't really have any skills. You know, I think he spent like six months in a mental hospital, Walter Reed. He's like, I didn't really know anything. So I came back home, and I worked on a tugboat, I said, before I met your mom, and I was like, oh, what's the tugboat life like, you know, I bet, he's like, oh, you know, you work with guys who, he didn't, he was like, oh, I mean, you work with all sorts of people, you know, you work with people who just got out of TDC, you work with people who are on sort of prison leave like everyone he described were just like felons and not for like not for selling drugs like you work with people who cut

their wife's feet off and it's like he was like so basically gotta work with people who are such bad pedophiles they have to be on water at all times yeah yeah and he was saying he's like so like the ideal gig man the sick gig is you work two weeks on and two weeks off. So you live on a tugboat. You sleep on, like, a metal bed. And you just look forward to them two weeks off. And so on, like, two weeks on, what you do is everything's OT. So you make about $2,200.

And then you take all that money and you go into the seawall and you rent a hotel. And you smoke cocaine and get drunk for like two weeks until it's time to get back on the boat he's like that's basically what tugboat life is like you get to see all sorts of cool places you get to see the gulf of mexico um and then you get to see biloxi yeah yeah you get to see the coast of louisiana you get and you know and he was describing basically a life that you'd live if you didn't have a family and you didn't love yourself. Like all the guys that he worked with, he said on a tugboat were like dudes that either a couldn't have families because they were simply too deranged. Like you can't even work at the plant.

You are such a misanthropic sort of psycho that you work where there are no people, which is in the middle of the fucking ocean. And the people that you work with are also misanthropic, alcoholic psychopaths. So it tracks or whatever. And that's that's the job. I told you he was when he fucking would that his he was a shit shoveler. And what made him quit was he fucking. He they would literally like he would go into the furnace, they would shit into this hole in the boat, and it would go into this big oven, and it would burn it up into this, like, black, brown, chunky powder, and he was, like, it was, like, his first tugboat job he ever worked, and he was, his job was, like, every few, you know, like, every day or whatever, you get a big

shovel, you go into the furnace and you shovel out all the shit and you throw it off the side of the boat into the end of the fucking ocean and he's like dude he's like it's probably fucking 105 degrees dead of summer and he's like you'd think that burning up that poop you know would kill the stench but nah it just smells like fucking burning just burning dog shit now i can't another way to describe it you know i'm shoveling this shit off and it was that you what burning. Just burning dog shit. Nah, I can't have another way to describe it. You know, I'm shoveling this shit off, and it was day. The way that you shovel shit on the ocean, because it's windy, is you shovel towards the wind.

You know, and he would like, he's like doing the gestures. Like, you're shoveling off the side of the boat. You don't want to shovel against the wind, because you're getting in it with a fucking mouth and face full of shit. He's like, dude, he's like, I'm shoveling shit off the side of this boat, and the wind's blowing fucking hard as hell to the left, so I'm fucking making sure I'm hiding, I got my shit shovel, and I'm just shoveling with the wind, and he swears up and down, dude, my dad believed in weird shit, he was like, I knew in that moment, God or the devil didn't want me to work on that boat, because it was like the wind did a 180, brother, he just like was shoveling shit, and the wind stopped blowing to the east immediately blew to the west and just blew like dusted fucking human shit into my dad's eyes and

mouth and like all over him he was just covered like blackface but from poop and he was like told the captain i said when we get to show i'm done with this cocksucker we're here no more and uh he was like yeah that's the tugboat life so if you want to be a gay actor son you could go i like my mom my mom was supportive i think i was like my dad was like, yeah, that's a tugboat life. So if you want to be a gay actor, son, you could go. Like my mom, my mom was supportive. I think I was like my dad was like, well, my dad would be like, you want to be in movies? I'm like, yeah, I want to, you know, I love I love it. It's fun.

You know, I think I want to be like, you know, on TV or whatever. He's like, all right, well, whatever, you know, probably ain't going to work out. But he was not like unencouraging when he was like, that's a pretty lofty goal you know i had goals i wanted to be in a metal band and then had a family so i was like oh all right all right there we go um funny because he was in a metal band he was dude he was he was in two dude he's to this day like if i his one of his bands was called torture sculpture which is just a sick band name like that's such a like his other one he was in like a like a kind of like a thrash metal band called facelift which I was like that's that's

pretty cool but he is like yeah we played like metal and stuff like thrash metal and like play like Metallica they would do like cover songs and they had some originals oh my dad told me he had a cover band, and that's when he said you make money. You can actually make a living being in a successful cover band. That was his side gig for a while. This is kind of off the... No, we're chilling.

Off what we were talking about. One of the big songs they would play was ever long and it just came out and it took over the radio it's still a massive hit you know it's one of the greatest songs of all time but his uh him and his drummer would get into drunken fistfights because it's the drums to that song are for three and a half minutes like it never slows down it's like 180 bpm and he'd be like rodney we're gonna play every long night and uh you're gonna fucking my dad you're gonna fucking play it right you're gonna fuck up and the drummer be like i can't play that fucking shit and they would like be backstage about to go

on me and my dad and the drummer would be like throwing shit at each other i can't play every long it's too hard it makes my arms hurt and he's like can we play smoke on the water can we play fucking can we play crazy train or some shit day why the fuck do you want to play that my dad my dad just liked the foo fighters so he was like it was like he's like i learned how to play the song you're gonna play it so he said like he had the they would have to play it early because the drummer would get too drunk and would be like fucking up and shit and uh and uh yeah it was just like uh i guess like a very very annoying song to have your like to have your like tugboat captain friend who plays drums once a month yeah you're doing dragon force covers yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah basically uh i think this is the free episode so if you're listening to, that means that it's free and there's so much more content.

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It was like he said he accidentally signed up. But big respect to him. And then I guess, yeah, thank you. Thank you to the other guy who does it, Nick. Thank you, guy, friend of the show. All right, bye. Bye.