Pendejo Time - UNLOCKED: Quantum Suicide (Ft. Prospector88)

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

Dug through the vaults and unlocked an old favorite of mine. p88 joins us to talk killing yourself. Support the Show.

Hello. Dude, shut up. You're ruining it. I'm ruining it? Yeah, it's done. Ruined. Well, I don't need you here, man. Welcome to the Women's Empowerment Convention, hosted by Pendejo Time. We have a guest speaker today, none other than the glorious Mr. Prospector88.

Hello, Prospector. Hey, brother. P88, we talked for quite some time before we started here, and he's actually, many people are like, what's the story? What is this guy's deal? He's actually a Hulk Hogan impersonator in Vegas.

He does weddings, funerals, divorces, brisses. He just started doing the bris. He does a damn good bris too. Yeah. Gotta love a good whole coke and brits anyway Monday

how's everybody's week been going? Thomas what have you been up to dude? yeah honestly I just don't like personal questions like that. Like, you'll just, like, I'll start, like, saying something, you know, like, and, like, let's say I'm talking about, you know, like, a team building exercise or something, you know, for the business. And you'll say something like, oh, you know, like, did you have lunch yesterday? I mean, dude, it just sets me off. Like, I don't know why you talk to me about stuff like that. It's just funny, you know?

I don't even remember what I ate yesterday. I'm going to take a guess. Beef jerky, Mountain Dew, IPA. Close. Fuck. All right. Maybe next time. Yeah, I... fuck all right maybe next time yeah i uh

but i got i got spoiled we did all both episodes on sunday no we didn't just kidding we actually did them when we're supposed to do them but hypothetically if we did you know uh you know the whole week to myself just uh played a lot of assassin's creed jacked off how many times uh well let's play hot cold like talking the whole week uh hot cold like you say a number and i'll say i was just asking how many times you have i'm cracking my shit right now. Prospector, how many times a week would you say you average? Go ahead. You first,

Prospector. You go ahead. I mean, on a good... See, I feel like I get peaks and valleys because there's some weeks where I don't at all. And there's some when I just like, you know, get after it day in, day out. Yeah, I'll go like three weeks, like a no-fap, ready guy. And then I'll just double down and just do like a week straight, three times a day. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. I'll just double down and just do like a week straight three times a day. Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with that. No, I, I remember as a teen, like as a kid, I like a teenager. I thought like, I didn't know like what was a normal amount.

And so I remember I was like smoking, we was some, some friends and we were, I was like kind of tried to have like a heartfelt childhood moment with my friends. And I was like, Hey, uh, I think I jack off too much or whatever. And I was like, and I was like – kind of tried to have like a heartfelt childhood moment with my friends. And I was like, hey, I think I jack off too much or whatever. And I was like – they were like, oh, you know, what's too much?

And I was like, yeah, I guess like twice, three times a day sometimes. And this kid who like we only kind of hung out with was like, oh, yeah, that's not weird at all. And I was like, oh, you know, like what are you, like four? He's like, dude like dude i beat off like eight ten times a day that's awesome let's see the kid who like you're doing the coloring book or whatever and like he's sitting next to you and he's like hey you know you can grab the dick and shake it right yeah the kid that's like at nine years old he's like, yeah, you get real dark in there. You pull your pants all the way down around your ankles and you just wiggle your nuts around for like 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, dude, you ever had to wipe pee? Really excited.

I'm trying to think of like a guy who's like 44 years old, but talks like that. Poses that same question. Like in line at the DMV or something. Yeah, just like the co-workers and stuff. Not even like... Just, yeah, he works at an office job. It's just, yeah. Well, I'm going to go home and whack off to her.

off to her uh um it's like a guy that like a few traumas been like done for years but it's like yeah man uh you know friday that's the day brother you know a lot of guys go home they barbecue with their families i go home and um jack off to the one-eyed lady from Futurama. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm getting at, brother? Way too confident about it. Yeah. I like to watch Golden Girls reruns, but it's the later season, so it's not as weird. Hold on now, brother. What about the later season makes it less weird? Oh, you know, it's just more you know, recent. They're older.

You know, because, I mean, you know, let's say it was one of the first, I don't know when that show started, 1923 or whatever, you know, but, you know what I'm saying? It's just as less as I knew.

That was like the first show I watched when I was going through puberty and I got all hoarded up. Wait, did you want to fuck Blanche? What? Did you want to fuck Blanche from Golden Girls? The slutty one? Maybe after like four videos.

The four voodoo cutoff point. Yeah. For me, my first thing I ever saw where I was like, oh, nice, was probably something like a hot Marilyn Manson. I mean, Marilyn. Marilyn Manson. No, you fucked up, dude. You're fucked.

No, Thomas admits that at an early age he saw the androgynous horror freak show and said man I gotta get me some of that dude god no

you're fucked everyone's like you know that's a man right and you're like yeah I do that I'm just kidding exactly

why would you even ask it's funny to be like I like the part of some like a you know it's like, it's Marilyn Monroe. It's like, nah, just the guy's dressing up. I mean, there's just something about a six foot two, 110 pound skeleton type creature doing a Sieg Heil in front of a Barbie doll podium.

It just kind of, you know what I mean? Preacher, you know, you brought me in here for confession. You asked. So yeah, I wanted to give you the straight dope.

I always knew about Marilyn Manson growing up, you know? Well, I mean, as like a kid or whatever, but I never like, yeah, you just needed to jack it off to him. No,

no. I mean, I knew he was an artist or whatever, but I never really checked him out. But I assumed with that extreme of a personality, he had to be like Ozzy Osbourne or something, where he had a ton of classics and revolutionized music. And then I checked, and he had three good songs. He was just like that. Yeah, I don't...

The beautiful people. The beautiful people. The beautiful people. This is going to sound really, like, not woke, and I can't believe I would say something so crazy, but... I'll cut it out. It's fine. When people, like, they've been coming after it for the last two weeks, and they're like, can you believe that he finger-banged his assistant

behind the stage? And I'm like, yeah you believe that he finger banged his assistant behind the stage? And I'm like, yeah. Like, look at him. I always thought he was a good guy. He just seemed like a stand-up fella. I used to see him at all the church fundraisers. What does your son do? Oh, he's a doctor.

He works at the burn unit at Shriners. What about your son? I think he might be the devil, but we ain't too sure yet. you want to see a ufo huh and uh he brought him to area 51 and like told him to keep the blindfold on but like he looked under it and he saw all the drugs and like traffic people and he's gonna go forward with it and like tell everyone so like they're setting him up with this bullshit story to smear him oh so he's a he's a he he went to area 51 he saw the drugs and women, and he was going to leak that info, but then they said that he finger-fucked his assistant, and so that's what they're doing? Oh, for sure. That's how they do it. They're just blackbagging him? I like the idea that Area 51 isn't aliens, it's just like the federal government's personal children and drug stash. I also like the idea that it was just a regular bandana they had on his eyes.

Yeah. Well, this is the top. We've done everything we can to prevent you from seeing this, and that's why we got this $3 bandana from a gas station, and you've got to keep it on your eyes. If you remove it, we're going to tell everyone that you're

a sexual predator. And he's like well i got nothing to lose here yeah i mean like he used to like piss on people like i'm not saying that i agree with what he did it was very clearly morally reprehensible but i mean you know that's good because you usually agree with those guys. Yeah. Yeah, you know, a lot of the lost. Change of character, you know.

We were talking about before here, how about I said that Harvey Weinstein was pretty cool and I felt like he was wrongfully, you know. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of times. A bunch every time. Very consistently. You could call him the most unlucky man on earth he did get covered yeah that's a lot of hells back to me i like i like how that's like the one of the worst things that's happened to him in his life he's just getting these like getting

like obviously him his downfall or whatever was the worst but like other than that he's had like two bad things happen to him and his was the fucked up dick thing that they said about him like that was was that real like yeah there were like court documents they made all the because sometimes like to find a look at it or like describe it yeah i thought it was like the hitler thing where people were like oh he also had one nut and his pp was small it's like yeah i thought it was like the hitler thing where people like oh he also had one nut and his peepee was small it's like was this real or is this just because it's hitler and so it's not bad to say it about him and also if that's true that doesn't even make him look bad in a lot of people's eyes it's just it's normal and like a lot of people deal with that stuff yeah yeah

you do what you wouldn't even expect like somebody like you people like it could even be someone like me but you wouldn't even know and they wouldn't even admit to it like ever okay he was doing like ivs of heroin and fucking smoking coke and shit yeah i mean obviously there were good things about him. He was cool in some ways. I wonder how much longer until, I guess they already have had people play him in movies, but like someone does like a gritty one. I feel like they're usually pretty soft

stories. No, I'm like just a Hitler biopic. Oh. You mean like they have Christopher Nolan do it? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah. I don't know why they keep letting Wes Anderson direct all these Hitler biopics. Dude, it's like Hitler when he was a WWI soldier. Yeah.

There's like action scenes of him, like John Wick style. They've got like Daniel Day-Lewis playing him for some reason. Yeah, they have Daniel Day-Lewis. Like Hitler was not like a jacked guy, but I like the idea of like Hollywood totally going nuts with it. And they do like a Batman Begins thing where he's just hip tossing Chinese workers into the mud. He's like Jason Momoa for some reason. Yeah. And Mickey Rourke plays him.

Listen, Adolf. some Mamoa for some reason. And Mickey Rourke plays Tim Lipp. Listen, Adolf. You can fuck it up. Fucking Jews over there. Yeah, fuck it. Cut it. Run it back.

Like Fuck it. Cut it. Cut it. Run it back. Like a Paul Thomas Anderson, I guess, Christian Christopher Nolan crossover of Mickey Rourke as Himmler. Daniel Day-Lewis is Hitler. Who would play Eva Braun? It's got like a... Cameron Diaz. She's a little too old now. Maybe like 90s peak.

I was thinking, who's like a really... It's like Selma Hayek or something. They could do that digital restoration thing. Just digitally restore Cameron Diaz to what she was under? No, do Miley Cyrus. Oh my god, that would be so good. They should make Carrie Fisher's

ghost do it. I, uh, the, the digital restoration thing really like, I,

I like to get kind of, if I'm bored or don't want to do it, like do work or whatever, I'll watch the

Fast and Furious with the digitized Paul Walker and it's like that movie came out right before they perfected Deepfakes. Like literally a year before. So it's like it's like PS3 graphics

of him like in the Subaru WRX and he's like yeah brother, see you on the other side. It's very jarring. Yeah. It was like, that was sort of like the Tupac-Coachella thing, but for, like, guys who beat up their

nephews. I really wish that would have taken off. The holographic hologram. Yeah. Who would you want to have seen? Uh... Like, artist-wise. Prospector?

Who would you see a hologram concert of? Um... Who? Fuck. Probably, uh... Metalocalypse probably Metalocalypse I would say like like like

Primera Tool like you know it would be Tool it would be Tool

but they'd be furries just Maynard James dressed as a raccoon like

like judo throwing people back into the audience yeah dude fucking Danny Carrey as a rabbit I I'm trying to like this is not some fantasy I have all the time I just came up with that this is not something I think about. It's a bit more planned out than your answer is supposed to be. He's like, I look Maynard? They have pink hair and they're dancing.

I have their dance routines planned. I'm the dance instructor. I'm the one that showed them how to do the twirl. And they caught on. I'm going for a walk. I'm going for a walk. I just picture them all in fur suits and I start listening to I just picture them all in like fur suits

and I start crying yeah like the first time you listen to like 10 minutes down of the episode your first thought your first impression of Tool is like

oh I bet these guys dancing around in tutus and they all look like dolphins and things of that nature I bet they're real pretty looking yeah

you know kind of like cat ear guys. You ever see, oh man, I. No, dude, if dolphins heard Maynard's voice, they'd probably be like, oh my God. That's Jesus, dolphin Christ. Yeah. I was, I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and like somewhere. Several,

at least like a hundred times by now, like a hardened oil rig, like former Navy seal stepdad has come home to find his like stepson of the last three years. So guy, he been trying to play catch with this kid. He'd been trying to just, cause he knows something ain't right. And, like, comes home and he's just, like, full on cat outfit.

Like, just full, like, he wasn't supposed to come home from work that early. And he's just, like, dancing to the fucking Tokyo Drift song or something. I don't fucking know. You think that's what they listen to is just... Oh, this is sitting a little close to home. My son's at home listening to some of the Neptune's best production works and I just can't handle it. I hope that he

would be nice to the kid, but I don't think, having grown up with some of these guys. Yeah, I bet you grew up with a lot of them. Yeah, you know, that's why I'm so... I bet you grew up with a lot of guys. Yeah, I bet you grew up with a lot of them. Yeah, you know, that's why I'm so... I bet you grew up with a lot of guys. He comes in his room and he's like, are you a woman, son?

And he's watching My Little Pony and chatting on IRC and he just leaps and blows his brains out. Alright, Sonny, I gotta go back to the rig I'm gonna be gone for

the rest of your life yeah I gotta they got us working 48 12s now but we uh

son I left your Christmas present on the oil rig the oil rig the boats shut down i gotta swim to it it's uh off the coast of norway it's gonna take me 50 years yeah a round trip i left my wallet in the ocean again I know the joke, like, you know, when dad's bail, it's like, oh, he went to go get a pack of cigarettes but never came back. But I like to imagine that, like, that really did happen,

but the dad just died. Gone away to the store. Like, trying to cross the street. Yeah, store got held up or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Oh, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I killed myself earlier today.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that's cool. I got a... I was sitting at a red light and just doing another thing nice two wheel drive homo and like I'm like holding back tears and again

you want to fucking race huh he's like yeah I do motherfucking queer so light turns green and we fucking just like done it and I'm out running the fuck out of it and I see like this concrete telephone pole

I veered right into it just to fuck with him and then you died yeah like you know when you're on the highway and you know you look around and there's no one for

like miles and then all of a sudden there's like someone falling with you mm-hmm well that's someone who just quantum suicide reinserted well I want to give thanks to the modern medicine Marvel for allowing you to join us after uh after killing yourself earlier today yeah i was gonna ask about that i'm glad you're proud of that i feel a lot better now yeah you sound great man thanks dude yeah you guys can't see it because his audio but he's just like a sort of a big like plastic tub of flesh but like he he looks a lot better than like towards the beginning it looks better than me that's for sure yeah he looks way better

than jake you guys say much yeah i uh so i'm glad that uh that you're doing good and that you recovered. You know, quantum suiciding is a hard hobby to get into. I feel like you really only get maybe one or two good shots at it to find yourself in a slightly better version of reality. Yeah, you got to time it right. It's, you gotta time it right. It's, you know. Yeah, I don't know how else to It's kind of like gambling. You gotta know when to dive in and dive out.

Yeah, it's like that Kenny Rogers song. You gotta know when to You gotta know when to swerve in. To an 18-wheeler. Know when to buy the gun you got a no wind kidnapper you wake up and you think like you were having a bad dream and you wander around the house like everything's like kind of the, but a few things are different. If your lighter was blue, but it's green now, that's usually a good sign.

That you succeeded? Yeah, that you're in a good version. Nice. I like it when I wake up and I'm not even slightly covered in blood. Not a speck of blood on me. Thomas, you had... I like the idea of kenny rogers going into the studio

like the gambler was like the third or fourth version you know and he goes in the studio he's like man i got something cooked up for you man and the producer's like all right you know what let's hear it i feel good about it he fucking he's like hit that light i ain't even playing around with warming up you gotta know when to kill her. Know when to beat her. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. You got to know when to zip tie. Kenny, Kenny, come on.

Know when to beat her. Kenny, Kenny. When the baseball bat. The song's called The Gambler. Till the police get there. You got to know when to hold her. Out of balcony. And then you drive her.

Busy moving bus. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, man. You know how it goes. It's a good thing I haven't put a song. Dude, I think the big popular one that everyone knows, I think I was like nine when I first heard that.

And I was like, this is very funny. I didn't know it was, man, I knew it was bad, but which one, uh, you know how it goes.

No, I can't remember. It's not. Ah, I'm racking my brain and it's just... You gotta know. Pick'em, lick'em, stick'em?

Yeah, that one. Try not to beat'em till you win. Hey, guess what word I'm typing. Hang on, hang on. I guess what word I'm typing. Oh. Hang on, hang on, hang on. I only heard two clicks of the keyboard, so...

Hang on a sec. That bit here. I counted five. Five. I'm going to go with Frogger. Yes. I can't think of any other ones, so I guess that's it. I guess that's it, and we'll move on.

Next segment. The weather lately has been just an absolute charm. And we're hoping we can get you to discuss some of that. How's the weather in Israel, Thomas? Yeah, it's good here in the Israeli city of Jerusalem. An absolute haven of Jew culture or whatever. I don't really know. Trevor Burrus They got a lot of roasties over there? Thomas Cukinick Sure. Yeah. It's mostly, I'll be honest, I don't really know anything about the Middle East or how big it is. I think it's about the size of like maybe Michigan, all of it together, or maybe a little bit bigger.

It's like Michigan and half of Wisconsin. Yeah, it's to me, that's about how important it is. You know, you got 25 countries in, you know, the size of King Ranch or whatever, you know, you're not going to, I'm not going to memorize all that. I like the idea that, as if there's roasties in Israel, like everyone's always like, oh, Israeli women are so beautiful. But even in the nightlife scene or whatever, there's a dive bar scene where there's just a 38-year-old road hard and put up wet. Every country has at least 10 of them. France, Switzerland, all the countries, it's like, oh, the women are sweet. Italy, it's like, oh, the women are sweet. Italy, it's like, no, you go to the right area and you can see a lady that has one really big right arm and then just kind of like a normal left one, but she's skinny in the legs, but huge fat belly, no tits, covered in tattoos, and she has a Kentucky accent.

But you're in the middle of Geneva. Welcome to Switzerland, darling. What can I get you? Welcome to Rio de Janeiro. She's got like an Arthur Morgan accent. Yeah. Like a native Brazilian. Yeah.

Well, we're here in the city. It's Samba. You take a little rest here and learn the intricate dances of our native people. I left you. Sorry. You got it, man. I was going to say,

I ran into some girl that I used to have a huge crush on from high school. We ran into each other. She looked like that. I'd marry the shit out of you what grade is she in now i kind of wish you just just be like dude she's in 11th what yeah what's your problem man you don't even care about love?

We're talking about Switzerland. It's different here. Yeah. Prospector grew up in the Netherlands. Most people don't know that. A little bit of Prospector lore for you. Classic Danish merchant, Prospector 88. We can talk about that. merchants prospector 88 people like have been like you know you've been online for a long time and you know like what's you know so this guy's story is you just like you know like you find out

that like a guy who's been posting for 20 years is like a high-powered corporate lawyer you're just like a like a danish pirate like a seaman yeah like human trafficking but not like the legal kind you know like the the kind that's like all right i guess that's fine you're just dming them like really veiled threats yeah i think best case scenario would have been if you, like, it turned out that you could only, like, read English, like, really well, but you could not speak, like, a lick. Like, you were, like, Somalian or something, and you just came on here and just started.

I don't know what they sound like. I won't do it. Oh, come on. Approximate it. Do you? You know, you get that Tom Hanks movie. Maybe. I haven't seen it. You know, maybe. It's nothing like what's in my head.

No, I think you should just tell us what's going on up there. No, they definitely don't sound like, you know, Will Chamberlain or whatever. Tasmanian Devil. No, no. I'm sorry. I know what's going on. I'm sorry. I know it's funny.

Okay, whenever someone posts a new type of guy they just want to beat the shit out of, just picture them as Tom Hanks. Like a real or fake? I guess it doesn't matter. You think Tom Hanks isn't real? No, I think... I think Tom Hanks is part real no I think I think Tom Hanks is part of a bigger I think he's just tool because he looks

like I think actually he actually talks like that for stop he wasn't he wasn't making that up that's how I actually talked

his real voice is on the back he's doing an accent all the other times I always liked I always liked that movie

that he did. Radio? No. It was one of the other ones. You guys see that one? Yeah. That was one of his best. I was

I think my favorite movie he's done is probably Forrest Gump, because I didn't know you could get AIDS from a girl until I watched that. Yeah, me neither, man. Yeah, no, I came back positive. Didn't he? I thought he got it. Jenny, my taste cells are low. That's what she had, right? Yeah, he didn't get it from her, I don't think.

That movie would be too tragic. No, he got it from Bubba. Man, you got all kinds of AIDS. You got me a fried AIDS. You got your needle-based AIDS. You got your hooker-based AIDS. You got your... Bubbased age. You got your hooker-based age. You got your... I thought an underlying theme of the movie was that he definitely had gotten

it from Jenna. It would be too tragic if a guy... It was too tragic already. Yeah, but it would be too tragic if the guy with the villain... Oh, now you're the master of tragedy. You know what the opposite of tragedy is? No. Comedy. That's rule number one man well you wouldn't know anything about you want to make it on the big stage like me you know I

played Santa and play one time you played Santa Anna or Santa Santa Santa Anna the Mexican Joe yeah now you're making Santa into a girl. Nice. I gotta be gender... Just making stuff up. Genderly equal. You see what he's doing, P-Dawg? That's my new name for you. That's gonna stick.

After this, a lot of people are gonna start calling Prospector P-Dawg, probably, because it just sounds cool. Jake, you can start calling him that, too, if you'd like. Oh, yeah. I like the ring of it. P-D like the ring of it P-Dawg yeah P-Dawg man it's not a big deal it's just something to think about

yeah just something to keep on the fucking old back burner yeah I uh I gotta say P-Dawg. Were you... I was just trying to get Jake to use it one time. Yeah, P-Dawg. Were you down south during the winter storm, old P-Dawg? P-Nasty? Shit, I would drive to do that. Shit. Were you down south during the winter storm, old P-Dog? P-Nasty?

Shit, I would drive to do that shit. Man, P-Dog, man. The stove. This is the voice that you had in your head when you thought about the Somalian guy? Yeah. Man, it was snowing like crazy. Hey, Somalians speak like they're like, hello, how are you doing? Is that how they talk?

No, Somalians are like you go up to them like and they're like, you know I speak perfect English. It's like that it's from Drop It Like It's Hot. They're just doing that thing. Yeah.

I can imagine like a Green Beret or like an Army Ranger going up to them in the middle of like Mogadishu and they're like, you know, doing that. And they're like, yeah, man, I don't know why. I'm from Detroit. So you don't got like, you don't got like click of me and stuff.

You know, I came down here for vacation. It's a beautiful area. Beaches. It's like, bro, my name is Derek. A child soldier named Derek is like a very,, and your name is like, you know, I'm not even going to. You know, you enter this. Enter what? I can't think of any small names.

I just thought of 40 of them. They're doing roll call for the Coney soldiers, and it's like Derek, Jason, Robert, Connor. Yeah. It's like a Christian mom reeling in her soccer kids to go home and get supper. Brantley, Canyon, Canlan, Danlan. For some reason there was like a white like US Marine or whatever stationed in Sudan. Just like a country boy or whatever and his name is like Nganou or something. He's like killed and they have to like read him off as a US military casualty. And all the, you know, the other ones are named, you know, like Bartholomew, all that stuff.

Today we honor the service. He was the only white U.S. Marine. Yeah. Oh, man. You know what that sounds like? That really does sound like, I give it 10 years, and there's like a Marjorie Taylor Greene-type senator that's like, we don't have enough white U.S. Marines.

What's happening to the Marines? The Green Berets used to stand for something, and now they're all named Chongo and Mongo. We have got the second most Mexican Navy in the world. And the first one is Mexico. And I'm not, I don't remember whether they have a Navy. It would make sense.

But, I don't know. I really, if you have a severe lack of melanin, well, come join my Marine Corps. Getting those texts from the, like the military recruiter, they get your number after you graduate high school or whatever, and it's like, this is Staff Sergeant

McKinley. Read over your files. You'd be a great candidate for the Marine Corps. Oh, why is that? You, uh, your name is, uh, Nagano Magadoshi. And, uh, we need more.

He's trying to do, I guess, affirmative action on the Marines, but they don't know how because they're not like colleges. They didn't get a pamphlet on it. Yeah. You have what it takes, Mr. Yamatochi Gomez. That was actually chris kyle's real name they did they made it chris kyle and make it more american friendly but his name was jama tochi gomez we lost a good good guy at the shooting range y'all pour one out for francisco tamagotchi

uh i dude i think it rocks that they still they made a movie about him they put an a-list guy in the fucking movie and then like as the movie was coming out a bunch of guys i think served with him and then several people who knew him were like yeah this whole almost all of it is entirely fabricated. Like, he was clearly, yeah, he was like a sniper or whatever, but they're like, confirmed kills and stuff like that. They were like, yeah, this guy is like,

clearly deranged and also, you know. Anyway, we're still gonna make the movie because we already put $300 million into it and it's a money laundering scheme to begin with, but. Yeah. They should have made that movie about me you were like 10 at the time yeah but killed way more people than that really no but they should have made it about me you know i remember around here there were guys who would like brag about how many times they'd seen it.

Did you run into that at all? Yeah. Dude, I ran into it a lot at the refinery. I don't know what kind of line of work you're in, Mr. Prospector, but we talk about it a couple times on the show. He's an elementary school teacher. Dude, that would be badass. That would be so funny. That would be so funny. That would be so... Just like, alright, we're doing shapes today. Just pull out a voodoo ranger bottle.

What shape is this? Shape like getting through the week. I love that smoke physics in that. in a shape like getting through the week. We're gonna love that smoke physics in the chambers. I think it was

on your old account. You sent me this link, dude. It was to a guy. It was this... He was live and he had been live for something like three and a half hours

and he was talking about cryptids in some cabin in the woods and he had a big fucking Gandalf hat on and he was dead serious. He was like an old guy. It was like two or three in the woods and he had a big fucking gandalf hat on and he was like dead serious he was like an old guy it was like two or three in the morning i was at work he sends me this link dude and the guy's like i ran into a fay the other day and it tried to trick me but i had my my garlic necklace and this guy was talking to absolutely nobody

like i guess you just get to a certain age and you're like, all right, this is my new hobby and I'm already going insane. So I'm just going to sell it as hard as fucking possible. No, no, no doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Yeah. Maybe those cryptids are just like escaped genetic projects like gaming is so fucking huge now like i bet darpa is fucking cloning like fatality right now to any like gaming tournaments and shit i uh they can win the black budget money i like the idea that the like the nine trillion or so that's black budget money. I like the idea that the nine trillion or so that's black budget money is held in a CSGO tournament. Like it's DARPA, CIA, DEA, Joint Security Task Force or whatever. What's a black budget? Is that just the army recruitment thing we were talking about?

No, it's... No, it's money that doesn't exist and funding for the military. So it makes like space lasers and shit and like... You know, condoms you can fuck, I guess, on Mars. Yeah, but you can do that with all of them.

Some of them are just so loose. They've been making the normal-sized ones looser than usual just to corrode the confidence and the American male's self-esteem. Because we're headed towards another war. A lot of people don't know about that.

Who are we going to war with, Thomas? Love. Nice. I would love it, honestly, if like... So like the war on terror obviously was legit we don't need to question it or anything but like

God's on our side with that one but it would be awesome if it became even more broad than that like we need a war on anxiety and we just dropped like 40 nukes on North Korea just out of the blue. North Korea is the number one cause of American anxiety?

Yeah. For Korean Americans, at least. I like the idea of waging a war on anxiety. You just drop like 1,000 Xanax? Yeah. That's not even that many. No, that's like – you give me a month, honestly. I'll have a – you know, like –

Bad month. I mean a terrible month. Not like a – Or two months. Yeah, like maybe two months because you have to have a certain tolerance starting out. Oh, for sure. I mean that that's... I was just...

I didn't think about it per day at first. Yeah. That's like 30 a day. Yeah. 33 a day or something like that. What if it's all bullshit and we already nuked North Korea a bunch and that's just like how South Koreans

are really going to start with that kind of shit? Like the pictures you see of North Korea are filmed in like LA somewhere. Yeah. Plausible, you know. Do you think the moon landing happened? Yeah, I saw it. Oh yeah, for sure. Nice.

I think North Koreans don't have any food, but it's just because the ruler or whatever is eating it all. He's big and fat. Hey, Kim Jong... You're on notice, motherfucker. Hey, Kim Jong-un, right? Yeah. Is it un? You've been roasted by the T-Dog himself. You try and recover from that.

T-Dog pulls no punches. I think it rocks. If you guys could both start calling me T-Dog, like, it kind of means something. You guys get P in T-Dog and I try to call myself J-Dog and you're like, no. No, I'm sorry. It would be stupid if you did that. I think it's cool that Kim, John Loon is like boys with Dennis Rodman,

like of all Americans to establish a rapport with. Like it's, it's not someone stupid. Like, I don't know, like a politician or like a philosopher guy from here. It's like one of the craziest, like, nutbags in sports history. I could see, like, Jordan Peterson or somebody like that.

But, like, I think the funniest, the single funniest person it could be is Joe Rogan. That would be so funny, dude. Oh my god. To have Kim Jong-un on the Joe Rogan experience, I know that I'm living in like a parallel universe or whatever. You're not even... That would make it fine. I don't think you are, dude. Like, here's the thing. So much truly surreal shit happens on a weekly basis now

that Kim Jong-un on Joe Rogan Experience would be talked about for max, I'm not trying to exaggerate, a week and a half, maybe two weeks. Yeah, they'd get brought up later. Yeah, I mean, sure. I think it's something that CNN would run with,

but only because Joe Rog rogan endorsed bernie like two years oh yeah yeah they'd be like wow look who else he endorses yeah i guess another good luck being secretary of the treasury now yeah it would have really good office for like you know like you said two weeks yeah and uh kim jong he'd have a fucking episode and he'd start feeling like joe rogan can't even handle mids actually i can't but no one believes him i like the idea that Joe Rogan actually doesn't smoke weed. It's all like a character.

You know? Like he can't actually experience anything from it. He's so in character that it's like smoking a cigar to him. Some people wonder oh is Sam Hyde actually racist? It doesn't matter.

It's neither the truth nor falsity. Yeah. Joe Rogan's at the gas station, and he's trying to hop over the counter to look up and be like, can you grab me that K2 Spice? Because that's all I can get. No, yeah, that's the only reason

he has Kim Jong-un over. It's because he for some reason thinks that you can smoke K2 in North Korea and he's like trying to bring it back here. It'd be funny if North Korea doesn't have weed but they have K2, which is like

he comes on and Kim Jong-un's like yeah, I smoke weed. I'm not going to do the voice. I don't think I could capture it very well. Yeah, that's probably why. Who's a rookie in that? You smoke a weed, dude. Very good. Very hot.

It's called Joker weed, Mr. Rookie. You buy it at 7-Eleven. Obama lunch. Gerardo. I'm just trying to imagine him trying to say Sour Diesel. Sour Diesel. Joe Rogan's like, are you serious? Joe Rogan's like trying, he's like, are you saying Sour Diesel?

I don't know why I gave Joe Rogan a SoCal accent, but that's how Joe Rogan sounds in my head. Hey, are you saying S diesel bro and then kim jong-un's like he's like charging it up like a kamehameha from dragon ball so We're doing a grossly exaggerated Japanese accent. Focus, you think we're going to come up with a separate accent? No. For different types. Hey, I checked. We got like three listeners in the continent of Asia, and I apologize to them.

There's Asian and there's more Asian. Yeah. For example, Thai, you know, maybe that's different. We don't know. We're not going there. Here's a hard question to answer. The Central Asian countries like

Kazakhstan and all those where they're white but they still have the eyes, Can you make fun of them? No, because I don't know what that is. You don't know what, like, Central Asia is? Is that like Mongolia? It's like, you know, fucking...

Yeah, that's the... Yeah, I guess so. I guess... Yeah. As I'm saying, there are some... Yeah, I guess so. I guess... Yeah. But they don't have the... As I'm saying, there are some parts of, like, the continent where they're white, but they have the, like, the epicanthic folds or whatever.

So I'm asking, like... Is it, like, Atlanta or something? Atlanta? No, they're not white. Dude, Russian shit actually sounds like really Asian. What was that?, Russian shit actually sounds like really Asian. What was that? Russian shit sounds like really Asian

when you speak it. That's Asian. Do you mean like the almost Russian guys? Yeah, like... Oh, okay. No, I... That's part of the Middle East to me So therefore it is just not

Yeah it's like Albanians or Greek It's fine I guess it's all the same to me brother Yeah All the same to me To all our Uzbekistani listeners, I apologize. I don't know what that is, but we'll work on that. I have all my geography credits needed for my associates to complete in the late 2030s.

So it's like you podcast has been dead like five years, you know, and you text me like 2032 and you're like, dude, I got my associates. Yeah. There's some like, who's Becky's standing for his son. And he's like on the side of his heart smoking a passion petting his camel and I'm like no

I really hope that the idea of the failed son exists outside of the United outside of western countries like a guy who gets

you know like he gets like Japan is just like a a guy who works you know like he gets like Japan is just like a guy who works under 90 hours a week it translates to like window boy or something like

so like I just dude I just opened up my Miller High Life too hard and I dropped the pool tab into the hole

fuck that makes it psychedelic it's like the worm in the mezcal or whatever yeah

but no the idea of like a I don't know yeah like a Kazakhstan or like Turkmenistani fell son that like, you know, his dad runs like a very successful like trading business. He trades like silk and, you know, camels and goats and things like that. But the son, yeah, and the son just like like joy rides the alpacas like

off mountains and shit like the i guess whatever the equivalent of the police is there like takes him back to the village and he's like oh you your boys he's they talk like guys from arkansas your boy's doing it again, Mr. Tamagotchi Gomez. Caught him riding the alpaca off the peak. We told him next time we're going to put him away, but, you know, got to keep an eye on him. Dude, I was at the range one time, and there was like a bat there. And I'm like, do they have rednecks over there?

And he's like, yeah, dude, I was fucking flying over doing reconnaissance. And, like, I'd see trailers on blocks and shit. Like full-blown, like, Detroit trailer parks, like shanty towns? Yeah. That rocks. Yeah, they're just like us. That rocks. Yeah, they're just like us. I, uh,

whenever I found out, I had one of my roommates in school was, uh, he was from Canada, and I was 18 years old, dude, I'm like, I'm not even, anyway, I fucking, he told me that they're like shit kickers, like they wear square-toed, like cowboy boots,

and they wear fucking Wranglers with the little gay jewels on them. Was he from Calgary? He's from the Manitoba area. And he said that there are motherfuckers out there who look like Texas oil rig guys, but they speak French. And that mental image, it just didn't compute in my head. Like, it just... Yeah, it's just all of mac demarco's uncle yeah yeah yeah i like i i still to this day i try to think about it i'm

like you're bullshitting me they don't that's not real and they're like yeah dude you try to talk to them in english and they're like you know they just like fluent like parisian like flowery french only they look like fucking oh so it's not like cajun french no it's like fucking like it's like homeland french like you know which is like it's just it's weird because you know as an american with american culture you associate french language with like you know fairy dust and like backflips and stuff yeah stuff stuff Stuff like that. You know, it's a very homosexual country by by nature,

you know. The language itself is I took two years of French in high school but, I mean, it was easy.

Like, the language is basically English but you make it sound, you know, but Sound what, man? I'll suck on your wolf. You make it sound, you know.

Sound what, man? I'll sucker you off. Yes. Sucker you off. The classic Italian-French gay guy. Is a wee little petite pee-pee. The two years of French you took, you go to take your exam and you're like, you know, put your name up top

and you're like, Thomas Blanc. Chapter one. Oui, little pipi. Je m'appelle Fajo. Je m'appelle Fajo. Je m'appelle Pee-pee. Fajo.

Fajo. He's turned into a Japanese voice again. Oh, fuck. I said Fat Joe. That's what I said. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Paris. Introducing Rapstar Millionaire.

Introducing Fat Joe. Big Bunny Joe. Anyway. Gotta love it. Gotta live for it. Let me ma. Let me. Let me ma. Let me. Let me ma. Yeah.

Yeah. Papoose is still Papoose, but yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Well. Hey.

Yeah. What's up? What's up, buddy? What do you want? My internet went out for like a minute. Hey, dude. I know. We're chilling.

It's fine. You're all good. You're good, dude. We flow. We grind. We weave. We do. As long as we're still rocking on the local, we're good.

Yeah, because I was saying, you might probably hit the limit. I don't know. We're good. Yeah, because I was saying Jumapal Hitler. Well, yeah. I said it like 20 times. That was a CIA hit there. Yeah, I think you're getting gang stalked. If your internet went out when you were trying to say Jumapal Hitler, you may have just been getting got. Jumapal Hitler. Hitler.

Hitler? Hitler. Adolf Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler well yeah alright well folks I think

it's about it's about that time it's about that time to make Jake take his shirt off yeah well you know I think I haven't really been hitting the gym the last couple weeks, you know?

Yeah. Most have been drinking beer. I've been eating too much kratom. Yeah. I've been hitting myself. I have been hitting myself in my penis. In an Italian tour guide. This is the Colosseum.

What happens here? Oh, we gather around in circles and we hit ourselves in the penis. Take a little, uh, smack of the penis. You smack of the penis in the way it's done. You're just getting carried off into a fucking mental hospital somewhere outside, I don't know,

Mississippi, and you're like, what? I don't understand. It's as simple. I smacked myself in the penis. I used to use the U.S. Army bus to go by. It was just like all Asians and blacks. It's the recruitment bus from earlier? Yeah.

Fuck. Alright, folks. Well, thank you for listening to the premium episode of Pendejo Time. Thanks again for Prospector for joining us. If you don't already, which chances you do, but his handle, I believe, is GeniusGuy69 on Twitter.

If you don't, if for some reason you are not aware. You don't know who. If you listen to this podcast and don't know who P88 is. If you know who we are, then you know who he is. It's my first account. I have a good band. Yeah, that's correct. I was going to ask you because I know Thomas said he had an IP.

Do you have an IP band? No. Nice. I've never been there. Neither do I. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, that's right.

Well, just wanted to clear that up. Thanks, guys. You got anything else you want to plug? Oh, yeah, you got any projects? Any cool? You got anything in your shed you want to show us? Just keep an eye on the news. Keep an eye on the news.

P88's going to start the second insurrection. Yeah, it's going to be the second world war. Oh, yeah. All right, thanks, y'all. Goodbye. I appreciate it.