Pendejo Time - yahtzee memorabilia

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

gotta couple uniforms some big marble eagles. panzer tank. just a collector yknow. Support the Show.

Wrong. You're fucked, dude. Next question. Do you like to snuggle up to big strong men at night when you're scared watching movies? 10 seconds. Yeah, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, five, four, three. No. Incorrect.

That was a – I would love to see the sample size. Sample size was me. I confirmed it with our other researchers. I really don't know anybody else. I was trying to think, like, who would I ask to just even jokingly say that was true? It's like Joey, but I feel like, hey, Joey, does Thomas, he'd be like, what? I was like, hey, does Thomas like to watch screen time? You could call him on the phone right now.

He'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, well, yeah. Hey, motherfuckers. We are back for another free episode of Pendejo Time. You know, you could say we're back in the saddle. You could say we're back in the fucking saddle, dude. We're back.

We're riding it. We're chomping at the bit. And we're ready to provide you with the greatest hour of entertainment you've experienced in your life. greatest hour of entertainment you've experienced in your life i saw the um this starting this year they're going to start um monitoring like cash app venmo and paypal transactions of over i saw that and i just didn't tell you and i was like well this is more like it's more of a concern for you i feel like because i you know nope uh but what I was thinking about is I was like, well, if Ridge hits us up again, which, you know, like, they are, you know, I'm like, maybe I need to, hopefully by then we have everything worked out where, like,

they're not just, like, yeah, bro, I got you. All right, we're doing Q3. Here's, you know, X amount of money or whatever. Because I don't really want to have to explain that or or have to keep track i was hoping i could get a pearl handled colt 1911 and then just keep it like under like the driver's seat of my truck and then just do like like john wick stuff all the time and then have like a million dollars that's kind of my financial plan right now like just uh i kind of want to be like a trained killer but i don't have any trained i don't have

any i have training but it's mostly like for other jobs like landscaping and tree stuff and like uh i can use those those little computers you put on your arm for warehouse right right and um i have a mid-rider certification right and um cpr certified uh other i don't really have a whole lot of killing experience so i don't know you can get that stuff pretty easy it's really people i see people do it without a degree but yeah you don't need a lot you don't need a cert or nothing you don't need to get like you don't got to go to the fucking safety counselor or anything in fact a lot of people they just go out and they get at it you know they start grinding bootstrapping it a lot of people just be killing you know it's not hard

these days without a degree to just go out and start murdering women, children. No, I would have a code of honor. I would only kill men. What type of men? Because when you look at it, when you look at how the patriarchy works, we're the problem, dude. When you get down to the root of it the root of all evil people think it's money nah it's honey

and when you get to the bees you look to the trees why do you do that with your fucking hair man did you think I wasn't going to say anything or were you just trying to throw me off guard because you tell why are you doing that look are you fucking Bettyty boop dude

god damn you know this isn't fun for the listeners but i have parted my hair down the middle and i have like fucking mo or whichever one of the three stooges there's a one in three chance i got that right but god damn dude dude you it's cool how that haircut got you like so much pussy in like the 70s or whatever yeah with like a fake leather jacket and like my hair growing my hair out so right now like ashley's like we call it the autistic hair so like it's like my hair does this naturally but so i like sweep it to the side it just looks you know like a normal whatever the fuck but i wake up you know and it's just perfectly straight bangs like school shooter shit like adam i'm like i'm just like i feel like it's just curtains for me you know you see me like this on the street done you know straight to jail oh you mentioned the fucking uh

nickel plated ivory handled my buddy. Nickel-plated? Ivory-handled gun. JT, the guy that, the creaking cave guy that hooked us up with that show. He, I forget he was hanging out. Where he was hanging out. Killeen? I don't remember. He posted on Twitter.

I'll have to send you the post after the show. But he walked into a suit store. Like an old Western. They sold legit denim dress shirts and stuff, but they had a deal running. He took a picture of it. And I've always, like, I wish this was years ago, but I want to see if the store, I got to text him or something. Anyway, the deal was this. Full tweed suit, elbow patches, bolo tie, pearl snap dress shirt, tweed suit, tweed pants, boots, and a fucking ivory handled nickel plated 1911. $1,300.

So. Yeah, like right there. Boom. Like it was the suit, the suit shirt, the bolo tie, fitted fucking tweed, like tweed corduroy or something like that. And then real nice set of wingtips, but like not the fucking like Brooklyn ones, but like a classic set of fucking wingtip boots. And a fucking 45 1911 for $1,300. And he posted it. And I remember seeing it.

And it sticks with me to this day because I was like, hey, I texted was like dude did you hop on that and he was like bro i was dead fucking broke uh he was like i was just out here visiting a girl but he was like it like in a different world in a different timeline i would have been like how many of these can i get like can you like can i just like can i get a wart like stimulus era? Like, fuck dude. Like this was way before COVID, but I was like, man, I hope you hopped on that. And he was like, dude, I got like 40 bucks in my checking account. But like, had I been, you know, like unemployment money, fuck dude. I would have been like seven of them.

And then you got like a different guy. Yeah. And I, I was, he was like, I didn't ask the owner, like what's the cutoff, but he was like, you know, he said like he walked in there and he was like hey is this legit he's like yeah you know we just got to do the waiting period i mean suits yours on the way out the door uh but you know as long as everything comes out i mean you know that gun's yours man we just we're just tossing it in here and i was like dude that is so that is very much like a texas like walk-in tweed suit corduroy slacks new boots bolo tie 45 caliber 1911 with an ivory handle like that is just like quintessential like Texas store and to be the type

of store owner that's like uh man we need to bring business in here it's been kind of slow maybe we can get on that social media. We can do them ads or something. No, I don't know how to work that. I got like 50 pistols just laying there. Just in the garage. They're inventoried. Yeah, yeah.

I'm allowed to sell these somehow. Yeah. I mean, as long as... I ain't got to get no paperwork done. It's Texas. I was wondering, does this guy have one of these? Either scenario is funny. He had one of those deals where he just had an extra 1911 with an ivory handle sitting around.

Or, that's funny in his own right. Or, he literally has enough backlog to make that deal happen 60, 70 times a month. Like, there's just, you know, a bunch of tweed suits. And then, yeah, just like a garage full of like old, like 60s, 70s era 1911s. It was so fucking sick. I have to ask him. I'm like, dude, I got a little bit of money now. I would be willing to make a very irresponsible.

Me and you both just like swing through the store. Like, hey, heard from word of mouth that I can get a full fucking suit yeah neither of us is going to pass a background check but that's okay you know um yeah yeah the 10 days the guy's like well um you know i hope you like that suit but uh i caught like eight flags you know on both of you between both of you you know so uh sales are final but you can't take the pistol home this is the first uh duo background check i've ever run i don't know you plug it's like you just like uh you plug like there's for some reason there's an option to do like a yeah sad which one to use a sad kick which one to use like lone ranger and which one to use uh geronimo the

fucking indian the um but yeah the fucking like like the it had it like on a fucking like little sign like in the window and i was just like dude that's fucking you know i'm not saying texas ain't the only place where you can just buy i mean now with like i think they call it a constitutional carry i think now with it like you don't unless you're trying to get like a chl i mean i don't fucking know i actually don't know but like i don't even know what the background checks would be like because i know that like on like gun trader like texas whatever like as far as i know a guy can be like oh i got this uh akm or ak-47 whatever ak-74 and then you're like i have eight hundred dollars and that guy's like parking lot academy westheimer and you're like yeah and then you can just do that like Like, as far as I know. I mean, I don't, you know, I'm not 100%. Yeah, well, on a...

I know in the past, like, anti-gun lobbyists or whatever were, like, trying to get that, like, basically gun show loopholes closed. Dude, that was so funny. Because, like, it was basically, like, no waiting period at the gun show. No. Yeah, I think there might be now i don't know i don't really keep up with this shit that i know that um like i know that if you go to a gun show like sorry you go to a gun show like uh as far as i know that everything is more expensive because there's really just there's there's no you, like a gun that might cost you like $900 with everything, you know, like if you go to a gun show, it's going to cost you like $2,200.

But if you got the fucking money, you know, it don't matter or whatever. It's funny because like there's a big gun show in Fort Worth every year. Yeah, where I'm from too, Pasadena. Yeah, I went with Joey a couple years ago. And like half the booths were like, yeah, we've got like some historic stuff as well. And it was like only Nazi memorabilia. That was the only like historic stuff. It was just like in the crowd there, it was like good old boys. in the crowd there, it was like good old boys. And then like,

like Hispanic guys who were either with the good old boys or like just didn't have documentation or whatever. And they needed a loophole to get the gun. And then like, just like big ass black dudes who were just like going around, like looking at shit. And I was just like, I think i'm the

only person here who like doesn't like make sense no just like doesn't make sense to be here like i'm i'm the only weird one here for some reason in this weird environment um yeah just like a six four like 300 pound black dude with a giant gold chain he's just like going through like the nazi memorabilia booths like damn all right like they really like old motherfuckers that are like uh that are like they know a lot about world war ii but it's like they collect a lot of like not collect i've never met personally any collector types like that but i've known guys like um like dudes at work and when i say old i don't mean like 80 you know guys and they're like you know like late 40s early 50s whatever they like they around

30 years old they were like i'm gonna read everything there is to know about World War II. And their, like, perception of that war is like, you know, the United States, we did everything right. We saved everybody and we won. Nazis were bad. By the way, I know the name of every Nazi general and every, like, officer. Like, it's a very weird, some don't really i don't really care that much about the historical aspect but i do think it's funny that like you can just sell like nazi bayonets yeah like i i always assumed that was like for some reason like highly illegal right

maybe it probably is in some places. But to be in, like, Mineral Wells, Texas, selling, like. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, this is like Hitler's diary. By the way, I've got, like, I've got 22 rounds for ARs also. Yeah. If you want those. I know those are highly selling. I've got a lot of 7.62.

I do have a lot of drum mags. I got a couple Chinese AKs. I got one Hungarian. It's a little pricey. I have 118 SS daggers. I got six full suits, full officer suits. I've got some paramilitary stuff. I got about 158 flags, two of which are full size. They take up about the size of like six, 700 square foot apartment. I need to get rid of those. So those are gone.

I got a lot of hats with the emblems on it. I got in my truck, in the bed of my dually, I got a 950 pound limestone eagle with a big swastika on it. That cocksucker's got to go. So if you want to talk number and you're like, hey, I'm just here to get, like I need a clip for my nine mil.

Just needed a holster. Yeah. Hey, I got a couple 9mm clips, but, man, I really need you to understand something. If I don't move that 958-pound limestone Fatherland Eagle, my wife's going to be up my ass, boy. She told me she said no more Eagle statues. I said, all right. Hey, I tell her what time it is on a couple things. You know, I mean, she gets up on my ass.

I mean, she don't care that I buy guns. She likes hunting, you know. But once I start buying, you know, like, Mangala's notes on, you know, baby bleach type torture and shit like that, you know, she does get up. By the way, I do have that diary. Two, three hundred bucks, it's yours. I need to get rid of that one because my little boy got a a hold of it and he you know he he got really into it you know he

he was reading it he you know he's googling a translator and stuff so but anyway i like i was saying you know i'll let you i'll let you take all this stuff we can do it pawn star style i mean what you know we're gonna haggle with 700 600 1488 you know uh please take this off my hands please please take this i love the fucking um the like those gun shows uh you can go there i i what you can do and what people just do in like in texas with regards to guns like i don't know i don't really have an opinion on it either way. I know everyone wants you to have one. What's your opinion

on guns in Texas? I'm like, I don't know, dude. If I had the money to make that money... I just work here, man. Yeah, I was born here. And they're like, well, you know, it's a major problem. And I'm like, dude, I don't fucking... I have a lot of opinions on a lot of shit, but

when it comes to guns, I'm like, man, I don't fucking, you know, I have a, I have a lot of opinions on a lot of shit, but when it comes to guns, I'm like, man, I like, I live in the wild west, dude. You know, like, yeah, yeah, you really do. Austin, Texas. No, no. I mean, like, I just mean like, I don't mean literally the wild west, but it's like when people ask me like about my opinions on like gun ownership in general, I'm like, man. ask me like about my opinions on like gun ownership in general i'm like man like i'm not if you if you are on the far side of it and you operate under the assumption you're like hey every day we live in the threat of tyranny brother and uh you know when them boots come kicking in the door i'm gonna give them something on the other side of it and it's gonna be traveling

about 1400 feet per second like yeah dude get your cock out of your hand like you're not you're not doing john wick stuff like if for some reason we came under martial law there's no fucking way any of these like you know dick hard in their wrangler motherfucker they would crumble at the first side of pressure like no doubt in my mind the real it's it's funny when people think that guns are going to save you from the government there's only one thing that's going to save you and it's kung fu you know people you know they don't even meditate and it's like i don't know what you expect to do really when you haven't even um i i was the taekwondo i always thought it'd be cool if i could just like levitate or something you know yeah i i always wanted to do the shit they do in kung fu movies where you can like just move

around on strings basically i dude i watched so many of those old kung fu movies when i was a kid and a lot of like tarantino stuff that i like when i was a little kid i i legitimately thought and i was in karate like just like classic like kung fu for like three years and i got like belted a couple times and we did the whole board thing and the kata and like I straight up thought I was convinced at nine years old it's like hey man if I keep crushing this if I keep kicking boards one day when I'm like 22 I'm just gonna wake up and do one of these like lift my hand slowly and I'm gonna come up off the ground by like a foot crouching tiger style and like be able to kick an enemy you know like in slow motion i was completely like i the chi you know like all that shit like you know i was like yeah that's real

like that's just it's better to be into that now i think than be a grown man who believes it well they do exist so the guy i studied under was like um he was really good, but there were a few things that he could do that he tried to teach some of the higher belt students or whatever. Like he tried to teach us how to run on walls. Right. He tried to teach us how to run on walls. Right. Because he was like 5'6", buck 40, and he could actually get a running start and basically run along a wall for... A couple steps. Like seven or eight steps.

It was actually quite impressive. However, he tried to show us, and we were not built like that. We were built like a bunch of skinny fat teenagers right and we put like four holes in his wall like that night because he would step on the studs and then basically like jump he would jump like forward but basically plant his foot sideways on the wall and like run along the studs yeah we were just we would just jump up and just kick through the wall basically just trying to it didn't work at all just like you're just fucking a sheet rock up just just demolishing dollars of damage yeah yeah

we would have these like so and i when you're in like kids karate like all of the belting like ceremonies are like i've got a piece of balsa wood okay if you kick it you get you know you're getting your fucking you're getting your yellow belt you kick that motherfucker in half and when you're like nine years old you're like dude i got this you know and you kick it and of course it breaks because it's like yeah it's like that yeah it's like yeah it's like not it has no practical purpose they probably buy it off like kung fu doc like it's purpose it's not meant it's not a cutting board it's not meant to do anything but there was like a very like i was like like you know it's very ceremonial it was very like very ceremonial like all the black belts or whatever

like you know this is your moment you're nine years old and you're like oh fuck like dude i've been training real hard like i've been playing a lot of tony hawk you know and i've been eating a lot of starburst like a lot so like dude i've been drinking probably like eight or nine dr peppers a day and i've been kicking like i've been kicking a lot my mom actually like told me she actually like slapped me on the head because i was kicking so much in the mall uh i was kicking the mannequins over so like i've been i'm ready for this and the guy like holds the board up and he's like you know it's about discipline it's about where your mind's at

and you're like i got it you know and you kick through it and the whole fucking like you know whole fucking gym goes ape shit and of course they're doing it you're a kid but like that that like you kick the board and you're like there's not a motherfucker alive i know i'm nine you know but i'm basically like you know jackie chan like who you know because you realize that bruce lee like that pussy like he you know there's just not a motherfucker that's breathing. They can, and I've been trying to recreate that moment. You know, it's hard to recreate when you're a grown man. It's hard to recreate that sort of visceral, like, you know, mass,

just sort of testosterone moment. You have like one in you when you're nine, you know, just like. We should get on testosterone boosters just see what happens dude i've been but i'm like not work out more or anything like you should work out less um and we'll just start getting like really angry and um and like having problems overall i had a therapist he was one of my my male therapist guys and and and uh i was like talking with him about this is some years back and i was like man you know i've tried all these medicines and like nothing's helping or whatever and he was like you might have low t

or whatever and i was like no i was like no i don't have nothing like that he's like it's actually really common man young men like a lot of guys think they have nothing like that. He's like, it's actually really common, man, young men. Like a lot of guys think they have, you know, PTSD from whatever. They think they got anxiety. They think they got depression, bipolar. Really, it's just low T, you know. Like a lot of times you get on TRT when you're 21, take it, you know, a little bit for the rest of your life,

off and on, get on this and that, you know. Even a lot of changes changes a lot of guys lives you just might have low t and like i did end up getting it checked and it was fine but like the the idea of that when i was like 20 like just 20 years old i was like no that's not it like that's not you know like i was like it's probably like just you know just depression you know just classic like it's definitely not that like just the original probably nothing. Cause I didn't know. I straight up dude up until I, yeah.

Like I was up until that point I was like 20 or 21. I remember I thought low T was something that like only dudes above like 70 years. Like you, you turn like, but no, I had no idea. He was how common is it? It's super common. Like, I mean like common than you think. Like, so I think I probably have it a lot. No, there common. I mean, like – Way more common than you think.

Like, so – I think I probably have it. A lot – no. I mean, there's – I mean, probably not. But, like, I was – like, the reason I even entertained it is I was like, well, you know, I can't grow – but that's just genetics. I was like, but I can't grow facial hair or whatever. But, like, I mean, I was in great shape. Like, I was able to lose weight and put on muscle super easily.

Like, it was not a thing, but thing but i like convinced myself for a moment but the guy was telling me that it was like a lot of guys will get on all these medicines and none of them work or they make them worse and then you know they get their shit tested and uh oh did your shit just die your little vapor no no i'm all good. I was just looking at it. Anyway, that wasn't the case. My shit was fucking solid. When you were on lithium, did they make you do blood work? I don't really remember a whole lot from that period. I had to get my shit done like every six months. Oh, they had me do initial blood work and then i had um

i didn't go to a doctor for it but i was um it's kind of like dying so yeah i stopped because i was i was doing i was on that creatine HCL stuff at the time. I think I told you about this. Yeah. So basically like I was not peeing out any of the lithium. Yeah. Or really much of anything because I wasn't really drinking all that much water either. Me neither when I was on it.

One thing with creatine, main thing to make it work is to drink water. Me, I like to kind of of i kind of got my own style you know um but yeah i i um i had a couple sections that i had to hit pretty often yeah you know to it's like it's like jumping a car um and i googled it and those were my kidneys and liver. And I was like, hmm, well, that can't be bad. You know, it can be good, but when you feel your body healing itself, it's really encouraging, you know. And usually your body heals itself by, like, your vision blurring and, like, forgetting where you are.

You start, you'll be in the middle of i-30 on your way home like you go every day and you you wake up and yeah where the fuck what where am i going what was it where did i leave from and you're sitting in a meeting and you gotta beat the shit out of yourself so you don't die. And then everybody looks at you weird, even though you were literally surviving. Right, yeah. Which they know nothing about. Correct. What I'm trying to say is I think everybody should get on lithium.

Not only was I not depressed, I barely knew who I was. And that's really what you're going for with most anti-psychotics. Well, I ran the gamut. The person that put me on lithium was that quack doctor that had me on a bunch of shit at the same time. And a bunch of shit didn't work. I tried a bunch of stuff. It just wasn't taking. Now, I was doing an unholy amount of

fucking cocaine and whippets also, which like in hindsight, she was kind of a fucked up doctor, but I also was like not a very good patient. She was like, you know, that you can't really expect a lot of good results, um, with your medicine. If you're like doing cocaine and and nitrous oxide like all week you know and i'm like i mean you know a lot of guys they a lot of guys you know like me like they can just do that stuff i'm a young guy you know i'm a young guy i'm 24 years old dude i'm a fucking kind of a young stallion dude i'm a young stallion you? If you're 24 and you don't even, like, do coke all day, like, your heart gets weak from that. From the lack of it. Because it doesn't beat enough.

We're like rabbits, you know? Dude, this is way off topic, but that fucking Dan Bilzerian guy, his, like, he had, I forget how old he was when he had his first one. But I think he's only in his late 30s. He had, I forget how old he was when he had his first one, but he's, I think he's only in his late thirties, but he's had like two major heart attacks. And, uh, like he is, he goes on these, like, uh, these like barstools, Zoomer podcasts. And he's like, yeah, you know, uh, when you're trying to like really sort of build out your, your, your inventory, uh, suppose you'd call it of like top tier pussy. Uh, you're going to want to, you're going to want to stick to the models, but not the professional ones. Cause sometimes like they're in school and stuff and they read,

you know, he just said just, but anyway, he like does this like alpha, he's got a lot of money, you know, whatever he does, like stunt work,

good shape guy. And all these like 19 or 20 year old, like NFT crypto kids are like, that's fucking crazy. I'm trying to get like you, you know, you're an inspiration. He's like yeah i'm i'm i'm really cool so none of them address the fact that like seven or eight years ago he was just like playing poker and his heart was like hey you got a lot of trend in here and a lot of coke and a bunch of tests and like some deca maybe some winnie uh pills too i'm gonna cut out for like five to seven minutes i'm just gonna well he's

bragged about it he basically like did all that shit and then like overdosed on viagra yeah yeah he was like he would pop like 10 viagra yeah because i think it was to like over to overcompensate having coke dick like he would do so much coke that his cock wouldn't work so he would be like yeah i'd pop like nine or ten viagra uh you know just to make it work and then sort of my heart just gave out and you know i was juicing too anyway it's just like i can't imagine i mean i don't know i've never i was not that way when i was like 19 or 20 but like i would say that was pretty much exactly who i was honestly and i'm ashamed now admitting it that i live that kind of lifestyle no i mean not yes it's cool to live

that lifestyle i applaud you for it but to be the kind of guy it's like is like, it's a cool idea, but to be like, and maybe this is me player hating, but to actually be that guy, it's like, it's kind of, if I had that much money, dude, I would just be like whittling all day. And like, I don't know, maybe i'm just actually no i mean i would probably like buy like horses and then like realize that i don't know how to take care of horses so i'd have to kill all the horses and then like i would have to buy like a big dump truck to like dump the dead horses somewhere right that would be a whole thing but like guys like dan bilzerian they don't know how to have fun like me you know yeah i think it's like he also does the it's funny to like the older that i get the more mundane my lottery fantasies get like when i was 19 it's like yeah learjet

fucking mink johnny dang i'm coming back to houston baby we're getting fucking i'm getting ice in my smile I don't know if you understand what I'm talking about And then like I'm getting older And I'm like I probably would like Kick a bag all day Take an ice bath and then I would just like Maybe go to Ireland but not to drink

I would just like go hang out With like a guy who has been herding sheep for like 95 years It's like how are sheep doing and he's like and you're i'm like that's fucking sick man do you like these sheep and he's like shit i arrive and i'm like fucking hey man that's awesome can i herd one how you do this you just like guide him around you know that's like just man dude just going out to build a cottage by hand and then giving up like two hours and just hiring

somebody just doing a veto from fucking soprano it's like 45 minutes you're like man i've been building this cocksucker all day and you check your watch it's been like half an hour yeah like the older that i get i'm like i mean definitely i would ball out but i like want to go i just want to go to some communal village in like the mountains somewhere and i'm like what do y'all do here all day and they're like milk cow you know fucking gibberish and i'm like dude that's sick i want to get like you and they're like you know get the fuck out of here we're gonna burn you up or whatever like that's the type of shit i would probably become an african warlord i think i would really fit in in that kind of setting dude you want 100 if you like if you just allowed whatever's left of your moral compass to erode completely after winning the lottery i could

totally see you moving to like the gambia and just just because you have so much money like establishing a nice little two three thousand an acre and just fucking like wearing ears and like just a front row set of not grill but you pull your teeth out and you just put gold nuggets, like raw gold nuggets and like cut one of your eyes out. And we're still doing the show, by the way. Like you have like one bar of internet and you're like, and I just hear like, like, and you're like,

internet. That's the whole episode episode it's like 19 seconds of you just like I'm making like 20 million dollars a year like burning villages and I'm still doing the show yeah $3,000 a month the fucking

I would like I've gone through this I've ran through this fucking fantasy so many times I think we've ran through it a couple times times in the show, but like, I don't know. The more that I think about it. Yeah. The more I'm just like, man, like, I mean, I would get as many stupid tattoos. I would buy like a, like the type of car that like a kid who just joined the Marines would get like a Hellcat. Like I would absolutely get a Hellcat or something. Just, you know, I would get a classic one. I saw a GTO, a classic Pontiac murdered out GTO. One of the older ones, not the newer models that I'm so obsessed with.

Well, the older ones are just as nice, if not nicer. I saw it in a parking lot and I was like, you know, you know, I want about 50 of those, but I would also, I think just like, again, like, you know, like just, just open up Google maps, hit random location. It's like, huh? Like, you know, like just open up Google Maps, hit random location. It's like, huh, Mountainfield, you know, Kazakhstan. I'm like, all right, I'm going to take a fucking jet out there. Just drop me off. Just drop me off out there.

Land in the village and be like, what do you guys like to do? They've never seen an American person before. They don't even know. They might not even know what a plane is. Perhaps, you know. Like, do you guys, y'all got Jlly ranchers out here cigarettes do y'all have molly do you have oxy out here you guys have uh flesh just bring a book like get his you guys got pop tarts people always make those stupid posts like going back in time and giving a pilgrim

like a you know like a dorito and watching him burn alive or whatever because of the flavor dude i feel like if money was truly no object for guys like you and me, like there are still mostly uncontacted, like villages and groups of people all over the world. I would like, like, you know, like the North Sentinel Island, you know, where that guy got a bunch of people get murdered. I wouldn't go there because those guys don't fuck around, but I feel like I could find one, you know, in some caucus mountain village, you know, I got like $250 million in the bank. I'm like, all right, I'm going to get a team together. You know, like, Oh, where are you going? I'm like some fucking place, Turkmenistan. It's, you know, fucking middle of nowhere. What are you doing there? You building water wells?

No, I'm building a, I'm bringing a bunch of Miller High Life's, uh, some nerds rope. I'm bringing, uh, some Pringles, the pizza flavor. I'm bringing like eight points of Molly, Sheet Acid. I'm bringing Mickey's, I'm bringing all the 40s.

Mickey's, OE, King Cobra. I'm bringing all of them and I'm just going to like hand them out to the villagers and just sort of see, you know,

like what happens. People are asking me like, man, how did Jake die? I'm like, well, he tried to bring k2 to wakanda and i didn't have the heart to tell him that wasn't a real place

he got stabbed to death by airport security at at the austin international it wasn't even he didn't make it on the plane i was gonna say like yeah i was like yeah i mean i'm uh i'm flying out to Wakanda. And you're like, I don't know. And I'm like, yeah, man, I'll see you. I just land in, like, Philly. I'm on Kensington Street, like the badlands of Philly or whatever. I'm like, dude, it's crazy out here.

Like, this just looks like Philadelphia. And I'm like, man, you guys ever heard of Nerds World? Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka. Like, just have you on the phone. You fly out to, like, Wakanda, Ohio. Yeah. I'm in, like, Utah. Iah i'm in like a more it's everybody's white everybody's got like blonde hair and blue eyes they all work for the nsa

damn this place is not how i was just did you see that fucking black panther meme in the pandejo time discord it's a command it's in like the shit posting channel it's just uh black panther is the command and then um an image that someone posted before will come up with the photoshop anyway it was everybody at the first black panther doing the black panther fist but it was a picture of me just like it got me so fucked i don't really get i get in there a lot to chat bullshit sometimes but that one really i don't know who set that up but i was fucking crying, dude. This is a picture of me with a fucking dumbass smile and a bunch of people in kente cloths with a fucking fist, and I'm just like – Yeah.

Dude, so I just saw – my girlfriend sent me a clip. That show, My 600-lb Life, I don't know if you know. It's filmed in Houston. Yeah, that's where that doctor is. Doctor Now, yeah. Yeah. And I just saw the clip. It was from a most recent episode.

Bro, his stethoscope is iced the fuck out. And I don't know how to contact him. I don't know how to find this out. Like, as diamonds on it? Dude, it's just fucking—I don't know how much that motherf— I know he makes good money being both a bariatric surgeon and he's been on tv for a hot minute but dude it is crisp i'll send you a picture of it if we get off the show but i love the idea of him making money from both from being a surgeon and from being on a show and like hitting up johnny dang just is like a

boring like i don't know where he's from but you know it's just like a boring like i don't know where he's from but you know it's like a boring doctor i don't know if he's like lebanese or something yeah so yeah and he's like you know hey uh would you do like a fully iced out stethoscope money's no object and guys like johnny dang's like oh yeah for sure like you know what's your rap name and whatever you're like doctor you know whatever you're doing the doctor thing it's like no i'm a surgeon i'm gonna wear this to consult my patients. I'm going to wear this to tell mothers that they're going to die before their kids hit kindergarten. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of my thing.

Literally, there was a lady, big old lady, and I think it was her sister. And he was like, the scale says you've gained 60 pounds, so what are we doing? He's real rude to the people. Well, he's just direct. Nobody in their life is direct with them about that no no no and you're right like it'll show like at home and it's like some like 900 pound lady and her husband's like well i like her just how she is in fact she was big when i met her and honestly at first sight i didn't even see her size he's like got a boner as yeah he's yeah i just i i just started i heard her i heard her booming voice from um from across the food court

at the mall and i just started leaving a trail of chips to my to my crown vic and um i folded the back seats down and waited for her and she hopped in that mother far we were squatted carolina style but i brought her home and we made you know we make a beautiful couple next to each other it's just a guy who like lives at gamestop yeah he basically like the grease vat at arby's is his, like, day-to-day food pyramid. Like, he just hangs out behind there collecting buckets of this stuff. The episode, it was a skinny lady looking like the big lady's sister. This motherfucker's letting the big lady have it.

She's big. It's called My 600-lb Life. And he's like, you know, you were supposed to have lost this much weight. And she's like, I stuck to my diet. I don't know why you're blah, blah, blah. He's like, well, the scale doesn't lie. Anyway, you know, run of the mill episode. Okay.

The whole time, the show's already a cartoon. It's fucking bad TV. It's trash TV. The whole time, his stethoscope is glinting, dude. It's just fucking spark, like diamonds in my mouth. Like, like it is just, it's so fucking crispy dude and i'm like man i understand like if you want to get like if you're a doctor and you want to get like something like that for the house but don't wear that like when you're like consulting like

you know patients or whatever everything all right yeah i'm looking it up let's take a look at this thing oh man you see that that's clean dude dude it is clean it's so clean it's like so it's like yellow gold yeah and then it's got diamonds on top of that yeah yeah and it runs the like half the length of the earpiece or whatever like along the so it looks like he recently got this iced out yeah yeah yeah it's the same he had a gold stethoscope but he got the diamonds on it too i want to know again i want to know if johnny dang did it because he's like he is in houston proper i would that collab would be so sick like that would be it's first of all it's just funny that that guy got into that industry and it's

just a legend of he's just a legend in the game like just you know of all people but second of all like i mean there's a lot of uh there's a lot of there's a lot of vietnamese jewelers right but just to have one that he's a household name here you know or in houston like he's a lot of Vietnamese jewelers. Right. But just to have one. He's a household name here. Yeah. Or in Houston. Like he's a household name everywhere. But like, you know, he's a hometown hero.

Did Paul Wall put him on the map in terms of like national recognition? I think him and like Swisher House and all those guys. Yeah. Like, and, and like the screwed up click and those dudes like all put him like. Paul Wall like makes grills now, but it's like a partnership with Johnny Depp. Dude, I, all put him, like. Paul Wall, like, makes grills now. But it's, like, a partnership with Johnny Depp. Dude, I honestly think I told you this. I may have talked about this. I want to get one, dude.

Like, I don't want to get no fucking. I would never drop, like, three or four grand on one. But I would, you know, a couple hundred. But, like, a rose gold. Like, it would be sick to get, like, a top piece, dude. I almost got a grill in high school. Really? Not a full?

I was going to get, get like a full bottom grill. But, you know, looking back, probably for the best. The things that I did not go through with that. Well, I think it would make more sense if we did it now. Like, it would make more sense. There's no time in which we could do that and it would be cool. I'm not trying to look cool. I know I'm going gonna look fucking retarded i know 100 that people are gonna hate me more

if i get it and that's not necessarily why i'm doing it i'm imagining us like going out to get ribs or whatever and like taking our grills out and putting them on a napkin in the restaurant and then just like having our eyes like just like just our eyes are just down the whole time we can't make eye contact with anyone but we've got these two they're like glistening people are trying not to look at them and we're not we're trying not to look at people but we've just got these two like clearly like 90 dollar grills yeah yeah like as much money as we're comfortably willing to spend maybe 150 max you know the uh dude anytime i ran into a white dude with a girl obviously it's been you know like these are it's always a pleasure yeah they're

100 success rate and interacting and enjoying these people's company uh but i will say for me like the cowboy hat with the i do want to get the big black cowboy. It's fucking stupid. It's dumb. I have no reason to get it. I don't fucking, you know, Russell Beaves. I don't ride fucking horses, but I do want to get one. And I don't care. It's fun to wear a cowboy hat in your house.

Cowboy hat and grill combo? Come the fuck on, dude. Come on. You're not going to sit there and lie to me. You of all people would say that's not a sick combo. No, it's sick. You're going going to sit there and lie to me. You of all people would say that's not a sick combo. No, it's sick. You're going to look like Lil Nas X. I don't want to look like Lil Nas X. No, you're going to look like Lil Nas X if you do that.

That's cool. I'm not a young, successful black man. Kids are going to come up to you and they're going to be like, wow, you look like my hero. And you're going to bend down on one of your knees and you're going to grab their hand, kiss it. You're going to say, our hero. Lona's ex. Dude, Tariq Nasheed's consistent, like, berated.

Like, his – I don't know. Him and Boozy's just consistent position. People are like, you're disgusting this is just not how we talk about people and they're like no this you know this is just this is just sick evil stuff it's like dude like they really they tripled down like hard like that he made a documentary on it like did you watch that i never i never uh got around to it i watched like i've seen so many snippets of it that i got a general like i saw a lot of them on twitter we were posting clips and i saw a couple on tiktok and then like uh like a three minute of it on like

facebook or whatever um but i haven't watched the whole thing. But I understand, like, the guy takes a truly, like, he tries to academicize this position. Of like, yeah, back in the day, white slave masters used to, you know, rape male slaves. And we're living that reality today because all of our men are forced to wear dresses in rap videos. Which, like, by the way way i don't understand that position because like if you watch like if you think of like any any big trap artists now they're not doing that shit like i don't know really what he's talking about it's just like young thug really yeah young thug a few other guys so it's like yeah yeah it's their stick or whatever like yadi or whatever you know like it's not like if you you cannot like you can't

apply this to like nba young boy or like yeah like none of this shit is like happening like in in the drill pop smoke wasn't like the drill committee that would have been so sick dude uh yeah she liked the way that i heard a little dirk like just wearing like a corset chief keith dropping a new like bobby schmurda dirk like just wearing like a corset chief keith dropping a new like bobby schmurda coming out and just wearing like a tennis skirt like that just big respect to bobby schmurda for like getting out and being like i never said i was gonna do shit yeah people i'm just gonna hang out i wonder because you know like it was funny when gucci came out and he was like he wasn't spending a lot of money because he spent like almost 10 years in jail or whatever i don't remember how long and he was like damn all my money's been

just straight steady stacking like i've just been getting stuff from the store like scratch the store whatever and he was like i got more money now than like i ever had and he's like sober like i wonder if schmurda got out was like damn bobby bitch you know all these tracks were hot as fuck and my bank account is stacked. It was just like, I'm just going to hang out for a bit. He didn't do anything at all. Did you ever see the pictures of him in jail? Yeah, I saw a couple, yeah.

It would be him and 17 college girls hanging out. I don't get how conjugal visits work, but I know that's not how it works. It looked like he was hanging out and like i don't get how conjugal visits work but i know that's not how it works you know or he'd just be like it looked like he was like hanging out in a park yeah it'd be like bobby schmurder's new message from prison or whatever it's like this guy is having the time of his life yeah i mean like a lot of the like the good the first gucci man it was like him and harmony corinne hanging out the guy that did a you know spring breakers and kids and shit and I'm like I guess you just really do get the difference like I mean I don't know that no because I've seen videos of just normal ass motherfuckers in prison that we've talked about it before they're playing like Tony Hawk and like eating Hot Pockets like smoking cigarettes and like drinking fucking

Modelo and shit they've got like a whole ass like ping pong table set up they were grilling shit on the phone probably just depends on like for sure no no doubt like you know like there's there's obviously places where you can't do that and there's obviously places where like that's the norm but like i feel like i see a lot of those um i saw one the other day a guy had taken his mattress off of his bed and it lit a fire up under the steel and uh he had put a bunch of i i don't know where he got it maybe from the store or whatever put a bunch of cooking oil on it and it had a full-blown like hibachi grill but it was just his bottom bunk and his mess and he was like making fucking uh like uh like he was grilling like burritos but like the type tote like california

style like toasted bottom toasted to like shit you get from chipotle or whatever and then he was grilling like burritos, but like the tight tote, like California style, like toasted bottom, toasted tie shit you get from Chipotle or whatever. And then he was like, what else? Like the video went on. He was like, what else y'all want?

Like we're doing whatever the fuck he was just tossing shit. Like, and it was sizzling. He was like flipping it with a homemade spatula. Dude, that's fucking insane. Like, you know,

I, the American prison system is so fucked up. No doubt in my fucking mind. That's like the data supported. Everybody knows. But then again, you know the american prison system is so fucked up no doubt in my fucking mind that's like the data supported everybody knows but then again you know you see a motherfucker like like like well i mean like they do shit that you could do at your house normally they do shit that you could do like at a bonfire in the middle of like cousin fucker country like you're just hey that looks like something i could cook off of y'all want to start a big ass part like you're doing shit that you do in like yeah like cracker country like fucking like

out in the middle of nowhere texas or somewhere in the south it's fucking dope i uh we should go to prison you know i have this like weird irrational fear that i dude i watched shawshank redemption as a kid and i was like one of my weird fears as a little boy was like, I'm going to get framed for a murder I didn't commit and go to jail for 40 or 50 years. It's one of my favorite movies. That does happen. It happens a lot. It's just not the guys who look like us typically.

Right. The guys that look like Tim. It does happen a lot. A lot, yeah. Like quite a bit but um you know you know it happens to people with bad karma you know you put good energy out into this world you'll get good back that's what i'm saying it's funny the state of texas like there was a like a lot of news articles like not not very recently it's still talked about kind of openly but like 10 years ago there was kind of this focus on like texas how many mentally handicapped

people has the state of texas executed over the course of the last 60 or 70 years the number wasn't insane but it was any number at all is you know well I mean to get on death row it's like you typically are either like just a you're either like a career criminal or whatever

where it's like yeah I've killed people who cares or you like there's some shit going on that but i mean there's nobody on death row who's like doing really well mentally to begin right no but i'm not talking about guys who are like just emotionally stunted violent people i'm talking like you know there are people that are like you know they're like okay so do you know what

is going on we're gonna fill you with phenobarbital and potassium hydrochlorate. It's going to stop your heart. And they're like, it's not guys that are like, those guys die all the time. And whatever, that's bad. That's sad too. But these are guys that are like, the balloon. They're watching Cocomelon and shit. you know like these they're not fucking like they're watching coco melon and shit you know like they're not and anyway the state of texas like at least from my understanding and what i

read the response was like sometimes you know those guys die but uh it's just you know price you know we pay or whatever which like to me i kind of respect that like i i don't want to say i got a hint to do at all i don't want to say I got a hand to do at all I don't want to go on the record and say that but that's more admirable to me sometimes you do have to hand it to them it's more admirable to me to be like yeah I mean

you know we I mean if a couple of them types have to die you know I mean death penalty that's the way it would you know that's the way the lord wants it the jury decides you The jury decides. It's not on us. All we do is hit that little button. All we do is slam the gavel down, throw you in jail 30, 40 years, get sodomized, and then

one day you wake up and they're like, what do you want to eat? You want some fried chicken? You want some fucking Taco Bell? And then we fill you up with deadly chemicals. I doubt it. Oh, did you see Texas,as i think got rid of their like glass like glass meal i think it's a federal thing yeah they a lot of places don't do that no more which kind of fucking sucks because i like to look at the

that some but some photographer journalists did a collection of last meals um and it was cool to look at because most people don't eat them from what I've read. Yeah, they like... But some people would order them and not eat. But there was like... The collection was weird because some guys would be like, yeah, I want a 16-ounce ribeye, garlic mashed potatoes, slice of cheesecake. And then some motherfuckers were like,

I want a pack of Lucky Strikes, green monster. Like, it was like... It wasn't a meal. It was like, you know, like you had open... You had free reign it within reason you couldn't be like an eight ball on a fucking hooker but like there was some that was like yeah half a slice of an apple 10 camel blues red bull and then a guy would be like oh fuck meatloaf you know 10 chicken wings a hot dog macaroni and cheese uh but i think yeah

i think a lot of states if i like every state got rid of it which is kind of fucked up i feel like you know i like i don't i think the death penalty is fucking stupid i don't agree with it because that's got to be something you think about as a murderer well yeah yeah yeah like if you're like if you're a murderer funded endorsed condoned and sponsored by the state you're like i gotta call out back you know like i gotta look like because if a guy if a guy doesn't go the minimalist route you know you know if a guy's like yeah what's the minimalist route the guys that order like a pack of cigarettes oh yeah you know like but the guy like the guys are like yeah i mean fuck if

you're if you're asking i'll take a ribeye, you know, sweet tater fries, sweet tea, real sweet, real cold. You got to be like, okay, sounds good. And then you got to go to the ward and you're like, can you get Texas Roadhouse on a horn? Like, can we get that shit delivered to like walls, like Huntsville, Texas? Like how the fuck, like that's gotta, it adds like a, it's harder to dehumanize the victim. I imagine like the, you know, the person on death row, if you're having to like favor, like Uber eats like a fucking $50 meal. But then again, you know, like what, what about the guys that just wanted to pack a cigarettes? Do you go to seven 11? Like a lot of those, the, I know that the walls unit, which was the death row unit forever. I don't know if it still is in Huntsville. There's nothing

around that area. And for, and for a reason, reason like there's just you've got a state school you got sam houston state university and then like a bunch of farmland and then just prisons it's like you know like pockmarked throughout the fucking area or whatever like do you just go to the store and like buy a pack of cigarettes who pays for that i mean obviously you know the state don't they have cigarettes you can buy cigarettes and do um but i mean if you're if you're like last mealing it you're like yeah i don't want marlboro lights because people smoke in prison like you can buy cigarettes yeah i know i'm saying like if you're last mealing it like if you want you're like i want parliament 100s you know they don't do that shit no more but i'm saying like you know

if they were or whatever. Like, I don't know what the policy is or, like. I've often wondered, like, so Barack Obama, he was not in jail. Should have been, though, am I right? He is now. He will be executed by the state shortly. Shortly. He apparently, like, you know, per, you know, White House, whatever,

he smoked, like, two packs a day his first term. And I've always wondered, you know, house whatever he smoked like two packs a day his first time and i've always wondered you know bill clinton smoked weed like obviously the president is not driving around dc or like their residence wherever that is i think brock was in chicago part-time like they're not driving to stripes like walking in and being like ah can i get a uh pack of uh marble reds uh 100s and a little bit lighter. Oh, okay. They're like the Secret Service. Who goes to get that shit? I would be really good at that job.

Just going to get brisk for George H.W. Bush. Yeah. George Bush Jr. is like, hey, are you the new intern? You're like, yeah. He's like, all right. Now, I've been sober for like 33 years. Um, but I need you to go get me,

uh, a couple of them, uh, yellow bellies, but the little bullets, little cores, bank with bullets. I'm gonna need you to go find me.

You're going to have to go to the shady parts. I need you to go find me the greens annex. I think y'all call them hulks about 20. I'm going to need you to get me some birth control. I'm going to need you to get me two cartons of marble like how do you like those the if you want drugs as a president it's like the easiest thing to get right but again there's like a all this shit about barack like didn't come out until like after the fact like you have to be like a very i feel like you got to be a pretty trusted person to like immediately – do they threaten you with House of Cards-style CIA assassination?

If you're the person who's going to retrieve drugs and cigarettes and maybe even hookers for the president, you've got to be a pretty trustworthy guy, I would imagine. Or it's like the Secret Service does it, but in plainclothes. I imagine that is like actually the case even yeah i don't think it's just some like friend from college yeah like like a like a white like yeah like a student intern she's like studying at fucking like georgetown or whatever it's like i've always wanted to work at the white house and fucking uh joe biden's like i need uh i need a jolly rancher I need a Jolly Rancher. I need a Rhoads. I need you to find me a job. Bring me a little

something for me to snack on. Jack. She's an old kid. I feel like I have not been seeing a lot of him in the news. And we got like three years. You know what? You were expecting a lot from that man right now.

You know how hard he is fighting for our country? Yeah, that's true. He and Dr. Fauci are on the front lines beating this virus little by little. And what are you doing? You're sitting on your ass at home while they are out fighting for the real world. Something you might need to think about soon once you're out of high school. And you you know you want to roll

with the big dogs. Sometimes you got to play with the little kitty cats. And Dr. Fauci he's on top of things. If you say another fucking word about him dude I'm putting you in the ground. Alright? In hindsight, Billy Madison was kind of – can you imagine re-enrolling?

You're like, I don't want to get the GED. I want to do it for real. And you're like – you re-enroll in high school at like 23, 24 years old. I don't even think – I don't think you're not allowed to be in a high school after like 21 is that the cutoff age i've often i really did wonder what it was i thought it was there's a there's a kid who got like gently expelled from my high school and had to get a ged because he was like he was like a 19 year old sophomore that is as it turned out like they were like dude at this rate things are they're looking things are things are not going to be going well for you

yeah they had a did your school have vocation like we had a whole we had a vocational wing it was actually pretty sick we had like welding yeah we had welding and wood shop and then a mechanic like uh forget what it was called. It was like automobile engineering is what they call it. That's cool. Yeah. They just had welding, but – and then they had like FFA stuff obviously. Yeah, same, same, same.

Yeah. But it wasn't like – the welding class was actually like two hours a day. It was like you had to take the intro welding course which i got kicked out of and then you could do the fuck off like i mean they were actually in their welding but people would like just dip and drink beer in there yeah no that was exactly how i was it was not me but like it was like at my school in fact i would like when i would skip like just fuck off like I had a like an off period um and I would like leave the period before at like noon and just go fuck off or whatever and I would go

at the skate park and there would be a bunch of like kids from the welding class that like didn't skate but like the skate park next to the high school just was a place where like if you were skipping it was a place just go drink beer and smoke weed and I remember one time I was like like are y'all like what class they're like oh we're in welding and i'm like oh damn y'all skipping's like no it's done you're like yeah if you just do if you're just like doing welding like if you're like you know they're like they don't really like the guy who taught it was just like a like a rig welder or whatever and was just like yeah i guess you're done you know like there was no fucking pressure which seemed sick to me at the time um i kind of like wish i would have at least

learned how to do that you know yeah it's a useful skill to have i kind of i kind of want to learn it still same yeah like same like if i had the time and i have the money to like go take you know i could do it but it's like i like all my friends that know how to do it like did it out of necessity so i feel but it's like i do want to learn how to it will be i think youth will know how to do it, like did it out of necessity. So I feel, but it's like, I do want to learn how to, it will be, I think youth will learn how to do that. Uh, but you know,

anyway, if you thought this was fucking good, uh, why don't you head on over to patrion.com slash Padeo time? Toss us a little fiber cheese. Toss us a little. Yeah. Give us a little money.

Also, we got live shows in March with Chapo. Uh, if you want to check that out, you know, you can figure out how to do that. Yeah, Google Choppo. It's the Dallas, Houston, and Austin dates. I don't know if the Austin one has been announced yet. Yeah, I don't know.

I think it's 18th and 22nd for the other ones. Cool beans. Sick. You guys have a good one. Bye. Bye.