Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP 47: Amy Mason

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Comedian and viral sensation Amy Mason joins Jess to share her perfect day this week. She’s exhausted, and we get it! But thankfully on her perfect day, she has all the opportunity in the world to sleep. We also hear all about Amy’s journey to comedy and how a box of unsolicited sex toys turned up on her doorstep. Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast. And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] A Keep It Light Media ProductionSales and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Alright then. For some reason, which we still don't know, they sent loads of sex toys to my house. Hello, Perfect Dayers. I'm Jessica Knappett and you are having pasta again.

Joining me this week is comedian and viral sensation Amy Mason. If you haven't seen her videos on TikTok, go and watch them immediately and then come back to this podcast or listen to the episode first then go and watch them. Yes, look, we had a few technical issues getting into it today but you'll be proud of me actually listeners because I managed to deliver a fantastic formal introduction. So apologies if you can hear some of the sound issues, we tried our best. The theme of today's perfect day is sleep. Amy's tired, I'm tired, you're tired, we're all tired, okay? But Amy's about to get some very good sleep and you'll understand why in a minute. We also hear about Amy's

journey to comedy and how a box of sex toys turned up on her doorstep. Let's get going listeners. This is Amy Mason's perfect day. She was like, oh, it is lucky that you're so old, otherwise people would think you're pregnant. All right then. Amy thank you for coming on Perfect Day. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here and I'm such a big fan of your comedy output and I'm so happy

to meet you. I'm so delighted that you followed me online and I couldn't believe it because I am a fan of your comedy after. Shut up. And then when I look, I look today at all the other people because I listened to the Kerry Godliman one who I love. Oh, it's great.

I listened to some of the others, but then when I looked on the list of who you've had on here, I was like, I was thrilled. I was like, I bloody made it. That's it now. Yes. That's it. That's it now. Yes. That's it. That's good.

That's very flattering that you think that. Yeah, we've had some awesome guests on and you are one of them. Yeah. Oh, thank you. So, you know what we do? We talk about people's perfect days and we talk a bit about your normal day as well.

Oh my God, am I doing an intro? I've never done this before. We normally just amble in. We normally just amble in. But because our amble has been taken over by technical issues. And you were about to tell me something, weren't you? Oh, well, I got a cleaner and then,

Oh yeah. Cause I was in the pits in the house. And so I went on one of those apps, which I've never done before, because I was too embarrassed to get a recommendation from a friend. Cause I was like, then the cleaner might go back to the mutual friend and say, I went to that house and it was disgusting. Why did you? So I was like, yeah, I went to an app and I got this guy and he's really nice and

he's here now and he's downstairs and a male cleaner Amy I know I had to borrow his his headphones for this They're not even headphones they're earbuds So he's getting a five out of five. Oh, I hope your house is clean by the time I mean, he's not he can't leave now until we finish this podcast. So you're sort of holding him hostage. Exactly. By doing this podcast. But the house is gonna be absolutely spick and span

because we tend to go over. I once used one of those cleaning apps for the same reason, just out of embarrassment really. And my house got robbed because, well, it was a flat that I was living in at the time. I asked the cleaner to post the keys through the door and she put them in the letterbox and they got stolen out of the letterbox.

And then someone, like someone put their hand in or whatever, broke in and stole my laptop. But I hadn't realized it had been stolen. So I didn't know I'd been burgled because I was the only thing he took. And I just didn't use my laptop that night. I went to bed and as I went to bed, I heard some keys in the lot, in the door. And I lived alone at that time. And I was like, how could there be someone coming into my flat?

It's like a horror film. So then I ran to the door and the thing that came out of my mouth was, fuck off you fucking fucker. Oh good. And he ran away. And then I called the police and then I had to say to the police, someone put some keys in my lock. That's the crime that I'm reporting. That's yeah, that's a really weird crime. And they were like, right, right. What happened? I was like, no, I mean, I think they've, they've

stolen my keys and they're trying to break into my flat. And they were like, it might have just been someone who was drunk and like thought that it was their flat or something. And I was like, I don't know why, but I just know that they got stolen because they were in my letterbox. And then they came, they came at like five hours later, just like, and then they were like, is anything missing? I was like, don't think so. and then they came they came at like five hours later just like and then they were like is anything missing i was like don't think so and then they were the what the police had to discover that my laptop was missing for me i once was staying in a student house i was dating this guy who was a student so i was living in his student house and their telly got nicked and we didn't realize for like a week. We were just really stunned all the time.

Amazing. At what point did you realize, didn't there used to be something there? Yeah, didn't there used to be a telly? Someone probably wanted to watch Family Guy or something like it was in 2003. So we put Family Guy on. Where's the telly? Yeah, where's the telly? What did you do at university? I actually left school when I was really young. I left school when I was 16.

Did you? I was really naughty and yeah, I was like just a chaos person. But I had a boyfriend who was at university, so I went and lived with him for a bit. Where was that? In Exeter and I worked in a Gracie Spoon. Oh my god great. And it was so embarrassing because he used to come in he like loved the Velvet Underground and all these like music and he used to come in like really oh with his floppy fringe and his sunglasses and I was working like in this trucker calf like all the guys like really loved me and I really loved them. All these

like men used to come in and the women who worked there and they just used to look at him like, what the fuck is this? So did you have some years, did you go to uni or just hang out with people that were going to you and just like university adjacent? I hung out with people who go to uni. So yeah, I didn't because I left school at 16, so I had no levels or anything. But then I wrote some short stories and like a play for like a local theatre company. And then I got into uni when I was in my late 20s to do a MPhil, which is like a Masters in Creative Writing. And then I wrote a book during that time, a novel. So yeah, so I did go and do like postgraduate

study, but I haven't even got any A-levels. Wow. I didn't even know you could do that. Yeah. That's pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah, it was good. When you left home at 16, were you f pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah, it was good. When you left home at 16, were you fending for yourself then? You were like, sorry, when you left school, did you also leave home? Yeah. I mean, I was just, just disgusting. I was like, you know, when kittens get taken away from their mums too early and they don't know how to wash their arseholes. I mean I did know how to wash my arseholes, that's metaphor, but like I didn't know how to like you know do usual basic things. I was pathetic and we just used to, me and my ex-boyfriend, we lived in a bed set. He was a postman, he used

to go to work as a postman, come back with all the letters and go back to sleep again for a bit. Oh my god. He got the sack. We had no money and we used to just eat orange food, I remember, because his aunt used to give him worried about him getting scurvy. So we used to have oranges to my soup, baked beans and spaghetti hoops. All the pans were stained orange. What? But only the oranges were used for the scurvy. Why were you only eating orange food? Because it was cheap. People don't realise these days, I'm 43, that you didn't used to have like your Tesco Express, did you? Or Sainsbury's, all those little hot,

you just used to have corner shops. Yeah, that's so true. And so you just, the only things you could buy were like cans of soup and cans of, you know, all like crap, really cheap ready meals. Yeah. And they were always really expensive. Everything was like expensive, like it is at the corner shop.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so, that is true. And oh God, what, I mean, what a time. How did you get from there? I mean, you grew up obviously, but like, how did you get to do what you're doing now from that? It's such a journey. Well I always wanted to write and then there was like a community theatre project thing.

It was like advertised locally. They got like you could write a play to be staged in a local shop and they did like a tour of like all the shops and they had like little monologues in them and then I wrote one for a local post office, like a really old post office. And then the theatre company who did this community project paid me to write something else for them because they thought it was good. And then I thought I'd actually like to perform something. So I contacted Bristol RVic in a moment of like, sort of desk, like manic enthusiasm and sort of bullshit. And I said, I'm working, which isn't true. I said, I'm working on a, a spoken

word storytelling show. And so my ex boyfriend actually, from the time when we lived in that bed set, it was like 10 years after that, I thought I'm going to write this like spoken word show about that time. And I'm going to get him, he was in a band to write songs about what he remembers about that time and I'm going to talk about it. And so we did this show called The Islanders where he wrote these quite like, it was about like memory and how you remember things really. So he wrote these quite like optimistic, happy like songs about how he remembered it all. And then I did these really like depressing monologues, but it was quite funny because they were like quite contral. And then we got some funding to go to the Edinburgh Fringe called the Underbelly Ideas Tab, which doesn't exist anymore, Fringe Fund. So we went and did it at the Fringe for a month and then

we went on tour. Yeah, I was there. It was the year that Phoebe Waller-Bridge did Fleabag in the next room. And it's just been an absolute joy to see our power little queen. That's so funny. I think most women maybe feel a bit of that though. It was an interesting one with her because obviously it was so amazing and so successful. And then it sort of, I don't know if you felt like this, that then it was like, and we've done that now. So no more women, thank you. We've let one in. The hype, which is, was absolutely deserved, was in itself sort of a form of misogyny. Because I think, you know, we have to be grateful that she did that and had that success

because I think it sort of, I don't think people realise or remember how one note a lot of depictions of women were on TV and how we didn't have like monstrous or difficult women necessarily being central characters and things. But I agree that like, especially those kind of complicated stories, people now are like, oh, we did that, we did that. Things just need to be all out funny or- Yeah, and that it's rare and unusual.

It was almost like the shock and awe. Yeah. Almost sort of reinforced how rare and unusual it is for a woman to be talented. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And in my experience, it's just not at all. Like all of the women I know are insanely talented and multi-talented. I just think, yeah, it's difficult because there needs to be the space made.

But this must be so, it must have been so strange to be next door. How did it feel though? Because did it feel it at the time? Did you feel like? No, not at all. And I think I was really oblivious. Like I was completely new to performing.

I didn't know how the fringe worked, I didn't know anything and our show was doing relatively well, like we got good reviews, we got we sold out and stuff so her name would be on the sold out board and I knew that her show was doing well, like it was popular, it was like a hit of the fringe but it didn't obviously no one could have predicted then what was going to happen, that it was gonna be like a holy relic. But she must find it so weird. It must be so odd and so much pressure.

I can't even imagine. I think what's happened now is it's sort of like resettling, like that's happened and enough time has passed that they will start looking around and are interested in making things with women again. Because I also think that the thing that happened was that there's a lot of kind of fear about will we make anything as good as that with a woman

and everything, you know, like even the men involved in the creation of the thing, of the new thing are worried about being compared. And that's obviously like the experience that women have all the time. They just have to suffer like the comparison in a way that I don't think, I don't think men do. I don't know what it's like.

I was talking to some male friends last night. They basically seemed to be saying that like, the feeling of being a man is that you feel like you're part of, you just do feel like you're part of a club of men. Cause we were like, do men just sort of like acknowledge each other a bit more? And they were like, I mean,

men nod at each other in the street and like, in queues and stuff like, all right, mate, all right, all right. There's just like a collective acknowledgement of their existence, whereas for a woman, it's like a much more individual thing, even though, but that's sort of like, that is kind of what patriarchy is. Yeah, absolutely. It's like, it's this collective. And so maybe what we need to counter it with is matriarchy.

Like we need to have this sense of like collective womankind a bit more, and then it won't feel so much like, why are we being pitted against each other when that was not the intention of the thing in the first place? No, no, not at all. And I think actually standup comedy has been really nice for that in that, because often, less so now, but although still, I would say,

in quite a lot of more regional, like gigs, you might be the only, there might be one or two women on the bell. And definitely when I started that you would immediately form this like solidarity with the other woman. And some of my closest friendships, not just in comedy, my closest friendships are people that I have done a couple of gigs with and immediately you just like each other and you have that thing in common because what you're doing is quite a particular thing and you just form this like allegiance quite quickly. And also not to bring things down but there are so many male ourselves in comedy that you form this like, you know.

Yeah and that's relatively new I'd imagine as in to have more than one woman on the bill is like a fairly recent innovation. I know. I might get the statistic wrong, but I think it was, was it 2014 or maybe later than that? I think 2014 they said there had to be a woman on BBC panel shows. And then 2019 or 20 was the first time they had more than one woman on Mock the Week at a time on BBC panel shows. And then 2019 or 20 was the first time

they had more than one woman on Mock the Week at a time on the panel. I might have got the date wrong. But yeah, so I'm glad. I'm glad that I'm doing this now really. Yeah, things are getting better. And then they get worse again. Yeah, there was a backlash.

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on repeat for just two dollars and fifty cents a month. Learn more at pcexpress.ca. Right, Amy, I'm desperate to hear you perfect day. Okay, so what I first thought when I said the perfect day was just genuinely this was the first thing that pops into my head without any thought or consciously. It's just immediate. It's my true heart's response was the heaven-chammer general anesthetic. Oh my god. Tell me all about that. I've got so much to say about this. Cause I'm perimenopausal and I sleep really badly and I'm really stressed at the moment for various reasons.

I won't go into it, let's keep it light. But I thought, oh, just be knocked out,. Just knocked out. Have a really lovely sleep. Have people look after you. Welcome to have some loveliness. Just chatting away to you. You're all right. You're okay. Make a cup of tea. Oh my God. Have you experienced a general anaesthetic then? Yeah, only a couple of times. And I am... Big fan. Yeah, big fan. But I have heard on an. Yeah, big fan.

But I have heard on an, again, I'm just like, I always do this, just repeat things that I've heard on other podcasts, which doesn't mean they're true. I am not a medical expert, but I have heard that general anesthesia actually genuinely does have a positive, I mean, aside from the fact that you're just having a lovely sleep and getting looked after.

It does have some sort of like resetting quality. Like it does do something to your brain, they think. And can help people out of depression and stuff. My dad is an anesthetist. Yeah, so maybe he can sort you out. Oh, amazing. Isn't that how Michael Jackson died? I'm pretty sure he was taking that a really,

really strong like anesthetic drug which is how he died. Yeah my friend called me to tell me Michael Jackson had died and accidentally it was when like she got the wrong number it was when I don't know why I must have changed number but she had to type it in and she got some old man and he said it's the wrong number and she said said, Oh, just before I go, I'm not, you might want to be interested to know that Michael Jackson's just died. And he was like, June, June, put on the telly. A random stranger.

I mean, his like, imagine that that's her story. Imagine his story. That's his story. Do you want to know how I find out about Michael Jackson's dying? Imagine that's her story. Imagine his story. That's his story. Do you wanna know how I find out about Michael Jackson? Dang, a random woman just phoned me. A woman I've never met. Oh my God.

So, general anesthetic potentially. I also, I really do relate to this. I had a general anesthetic when I had to have my gallbladder removed. And when I came round from that, I was honestly, I was in the middle of a hellish sort of rewriting of scripts for a series. It couldn't have come at a better time. To then just be wheeled into a lovely operating theatre, put to sleep.

And when I came round, I got a little cup of morphine. I was sipping away. I thought, this is fantastic. cup of morphine. I was sipping away. I thought this is fantastic. Oh, oh time of my life. Amy. After I had my first daughter. So I had like a newborn at home. Wasn't sleeping.

I went to have my teeth whitened because I was getting married and I lay in this chair, the woman said, Oh, it's not working. You've got like this fluoride issue from the past in your teeth and they're going really blotchy. We're gonna need to stop. And I was like, don't, don't stop. And she said, what do you mean? And I said, I don't care.

Just carry on because I was lying. I was lying back in this chair and it was so nice to have somebody just doing something to me. Oh my God. But I let her carry on, yeah. What a tragic somebody just doing something to me. Oh my God. But I let her carry on, yeah. What a tragic, I completely relate to that. I went to the dentist, it had the same experience.

It's like, it's just nice to be lying down. I'm gonna just close my eyes, if that's all right. I know I've got my mouth wide open, but it's just so nice to lie here. Cause you're sort of like tilted way back, aren't you? And you're quite comfy, got your little glasses on. Yeah, I know, it's nice, really nice. What a sorry, sorry state of affairs

that two mothers sit here saying, it's the only time we really get rest is when we're in the dentist's chair or having a general anesthetic. Honestly, everyone should have kids. Really, really. No, I love my, I love, that's the thing. Oh yeah, goes without saying. Then I've put, look, perfect day. Are they only perfect morning? I've put for the rest of it, I thought, thought, no, we can't talk about general anaesthetic for a whole hour. So I thought,

let's rein it back in a bit. I thought I'd go to the local swimming lake which I really like it's like this nice old really a quarry from the 1920s that they they put in the 20s like nice little swimming huts and it's all very like idyllic and you have to be a member and it's very like calm and nice place. Calm and elite. Yeah, but it's funny. I saw, I heard the other day, two separate pairs of women talking about their boundaries. So I'm like, it's like that. It's just all therapists,

all people who are in a lot of therapy there. Yes, I would love it there. Hang on, is this your morning? Cause we break it down by morning, afternoon and night. So are we going for a swim straight away when we get up? I should probably do it the other way around, shouldn't I? Because I don't wanna go swimming off to general anesthetics.

No, so are we waking up and having a general, are we waking up and having a swim and then having a general anesthetic? Yeah, I think that's probably the best way to round to do it, isn't it? I think, cause what I've realized, cause I have shared my kids 50-50 with their dad were separated.

And it's a very weird thing because it's either extremely full on, you've got separated. And it's a very weird thing because it's either extremely full on, you've got two children and it's super full on and like stressful, but you've got your kids with you, which is lush, or you have a lot of peace and calm, but you don't have your kids with you. So I think what I choose is to be at the swimming lake and have my kids with me, but have a nanny. Oh my gosh. Yeah. so you're free to roam. They're being supervised.

Are they actually there with the nanny? Yeah, I think so. I think they're there and they're pootling about for a little swim. Yeah. So I want to go swimming with them so they're not constantly like, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,

come swim, come swimming. I can just read my book. But you can have them be really happy elsewhere and just have a quiet, nice quiet. I do, and I generally am absolutely fine. I'm definitely not one of these people who's like, going for them sometimes and these women are like, I don't know what to do with my time

when my kids are with their dad, I can't cope. I'm not one of these people. I have plenty to do. A lot of things to do and I'm happy. And he lives around the corner. So I go and see them if I want to when they're with him and it's fine. Get on well, which is really nice. Yeah. I think that would be nice. Yeah. Nice little swim. Okay. Nice little wild swim. The kids are taken care of. They're with the money. Have you had breakfast? Is that, is that, are we coming out of the pool to have breakfast? I'm a bit rubbish about breakfast. I've written on there, I've written a boat on that. I don't

know where the boat would be. Maybe I'm at the beach rather than the lake. Maybe, and I've written going on a yacht, make people making us a nice lunch, but they are well paid so I don't feel guilty. You know, when you go sometimes in a foreign country and there's like staff there and you think, oh, this feels a bit like you're being, I want them to be having a great time. Everyone's happy. Everyone's happy to be there.

We're all having a great time. Have you experienced this in real life? Been to Turkey, which is where I'm thinking of it. Yeah. When you sometimes think people are quite, a very like, you have to have, you know, trying so hard to do things, you know, it makes you feel a bit like sometimes like,

oh God, do you know what I mean? Like. Yeah. Yeah, but you want them to be like. But yeah, I've had a nice time in Turkey on a boat. It's my pleasure to serve you. Yeah. Yes. you. Yeah, yes, yes, yeah. Which I think genuinely it sometimes is.

That was something that I realized because I'm not that person. But occasionally I'm like, oh, I like to make dinner for my friends. Yeah. I have got a very caring husband. Yeah. And when I first got together with him,

I was like, what, how is he doing this? And someone said to me, caring people need people to care for. Oh, I'm not like that. I'm not like that at all, which is why it's very difficult to be around those sorts of people. But there are people who genuinely love it, Amy. Can you believe that? I know I can't.

I cannot believe it. When I left school at 16, actually, it was like in the era where, I don't know, my parents thought there's not much you can do if you leave school at 16. And it was when you could become a nurse with just GCSEs, you didn't have to have A levels. So I applied to go to nursing school and I met one of my old teachers from school in the street

and he said, what are you doing? And I said, I've applied to become a nurse. And he just said, are you joking? You would be a bloody awful nurse. So, and I was like, yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I would be. So I did not pursue the nursing. Oh my God. Cancel the nursing training. He's absolutely right. I want that one person that's changed the course of my life with a quite nasty comment. Yeah, but he was right. I would have dropped out. So it would have been a waste of time. He was right about that.

So that's your perfect morning we've got but what's Amy Mason's normal morning? Is there such a thing? I normally do the school run or most often do the school run and I don't sleep at the moment. My sleep's really awful. I think it's paramenopause and I don't know, just always knackered. So I normally do the school run and then do a bit of work, admin-y kind of thing. Do a bit of writing or something that I need to do. Drink so much coffee that I'll then lie in bed, try and have a nap in the afternoon, lie in bed, but unable to sleep, but just sort of lying. This is why I want a general anesthetic, lying, wishing I was asleep, and then I'll go and get the children from school.

So your normal day is that you do a bit of work in the morning and then you try and go back to bed and you can't sleep and then you go and get your kids. Yeah. Oh, God. It's pathetic. No, it's not pathetic. It's just that's... At the moment, that's what it is. It depends if I've got like, obviously, like a big project, but at the moment, because I'm going out for Edinburgh, I'm focusing a lot on the show. So I've had some deadlines, which I've just met. So now I'm fully a lot on the show. So I've had some deadlines which I've just met. So now I'm fully focused on Edinburgh. So it's really, and I'm trying to write this show on the stage completely. So I'm not sitting down and writing a script on purpose to try and keep my show, well,

partly because I'm lazy. And secondly, because I think the last day I felt like it got a bit too storytelling-y. And a bit too like going back to my like, the theater-y. So this one I'm trying to keep it much more live. And much more sort of traditional standup kind of thing. Yeah. How do you write it on the stage then?

You just go to the gig with a vague idea of what you want to say or you improvise it on stage? Yeah, I normally have like, if I'm doing a new material bit, I might have a couple of notes on a piece of paper and I'll just have an idea of something that I think is a bit funny and then I'll talk about it. And sometimes I'll just say to the audience,

this is how I'm gonna write this show. So I'm just gonna talk about that if that's okay. And how does it go down generally when you do stuff like that? Fine. I think especially in Bristol, people in Bristol are like, it's a very particular audience in Bristol.

They are like extremely nice. So the point is like having like old, I had Irish family, my old Irish godfathers, they just sort of sit there and clap when you played the recorder and you were really crap and say, well done to everything you did. That's what it feels like. They're just like, you can't really go wrong.

Oh my God. Are you that, you must be the darling of Bristol though. Yeah, it's a bit, because I made these Bristol specific TikToks. So funny. If you haven't seen them, just go on TikTok or Instagram and have a look at Amy Mason being all of the Bristolian mums. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Thank you so much. So yeah, I do have a good audience in Bristol. It's a very easy place to do it. I should say even when I'm not gigging I think because my basically my sleep cycle is fucked and that is why I sleep in the afternoon I'm like because of gigging and I think it really kicked in badly in Edinburgh I got into this this cycle where you get this burst of adrenaline I think a lot of comedians get it you're so used to gigging at like 8 at night that you get this burst of

adrenaline at that kind of time and it's hard to switch off. And so I put the kids to bed and then I'll feel really wired and then I don't sleep until it's part of the reason I can't sleep. Don't sleep till I won or whatever. Second wind. Have you tried Ramesh Ranganathan swears by Maggie butts, magnesium butter? We talked about it on his episode. Oh, Maggie butt. I'm going to write that down. I have tried magnesium gummies, but I have not tried magnesium butter.

You rub some Maggie butts on your feet and see how you get on. It doesn't sound like it makes scientific sense. It doesn't sound like it does it, but it's always worth it. It's always worth having a go, isn't it? It's something. But the adrenaline thing is so I don't do stand up, but occasionally I have to do things that sort of like stand up adjacent hosting a thing or whatever. I just get so nervous.

I think all these people, I mean, whether they've paid or not the expectation of a roomful of people that you will just come out and say something funny. The idea of not fulfilling that expectation and just winging it is so horrifying to me. It does happen, but you get really hard. Like the other day, I did a gig at the Bill Murray, apologies to everyone who was there. And they did not like it. But you're just not bothered then. You are, but you've had similar experiences

so many times in the past. You just think, oh God, well, oh well. And it kind of works, it's worked more than it hasn't. So you think you have to get a bit hard. It does feel a bit like a superpower. You feel able to deal. You sort of start realizing that pretty much anything that happens when you're on stage,

you can kind of deal with it. I always think, you know, Paula Radcliffe Yes. Pooed herself in the marathon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did she poo herself or did she just do a poo in a tupperware? Well, I'm not quite sure, but it was something, and it was filmed by the side of the track.

And I was thinking, if she can carry on, and have a career, then I think I can do anything. I think we all need to remember that actually. Should have Paula Radcliffe on. I mean, for God's sake, it's just so unfair, isn't it? You're doing a marathon. Can you imagine? I know. This is what they do to women.

I'd rather not do a marathon and not poo myself. There's one way to avoid all of that. That's very much the way I've lived my life so far. Amy, after the boat and the very attentive, caring, considerate, well-meaning staff who love to serve you. Yeah, love their jobs. What else happens in your afternoon? Are you, are we still in Turkey? Well, I don't know about Turkey.

I feel like that might be dodgy political situation, but let's put still in Turkey? Well, I don't know about Turkey. I feel like that might be a dodgy political situation, but let's put it's, I don't know where we are, but we're somewhere with fantastic political climate and human rights. And then I think the evening, if we're moving into the evening, I think I'd be going to see somebody, because I like going to see live music, but I don't like standing up. And I was thinking, who, what would be, I'd like going to see somebody because I like going to see live music but I don't like standing up and I was thinking who what would be I'd like to get someone quite glamorous or you get to dress up a bit and I was thinking going to see someone like Barbara Streisand or like a diva like Bette Midler someone like that and who doesn't perform very often and getting to dress up, just surrounded by really fabulous gay men

and older women. And it's just the show of your life. Have you attended one of these? No. No. I would love to. It sounds fabulous. Do you like to dress up?

I do like to dress up. I mean, I've got a lot of clothes and I've got quite a lot of nice clothes, but I still just wear basically my actual pajamas a lot of the time and to school and the school run. Do you? You wear your PJs to the school run. Wasn't there something about that? Like, I remember there was a whole thing about people, about parents wearing like,

like there was some sort of ban on parents wearing pajamas to the school run. Wasn't there? But I bet you've got the sort of fabulous pajamas that you wouldn't know that they're pajamas. Just judging by what you're wearing now, which is just a fantastic, very colorful, stinky shirt. I do also have some really crap like... Primark. Old joggers.

Stained. Yeah, stained, horrible stuff. Oh, the state. I hate having to sort myself out for the school run, it's just, there are two versions of me basically. I'm either just like haggard in my pajamas and you're just gonna have to get that one. But I have started sleeping in an outfit, I've said this on another episode, I have started sleeping in an outfit that looks acceptable to wear outdoors. That's a great idea. Because I get so stressed out if I have to do the morning. Or you could just not wear your pyjamas. Yeah, I mean, I do.

I look bloody mad most of the time. My daughter said to me, she's nearly nine. She said to me, I always know when you're outside of the classroom, I can see you even if I just like the corner of my eye, because you are the one wearing the clown, the brightly colored clown clothes. I can see you from really far away. She's started

absolutely rinsing me. That's a great thing isn't it? Yeah maybe she does it also say to me on my birthday the other day oh my goodness you're gonna be even more of a wrinkled old hag than you are already and she said to me it's lucky that you're so old otherwise people would think that you were pregnant looking at my stomach. And she meant that one sincerely. She was like, oh, it is lucky that you're so old. Otherwise people would think you're pregnant. Burn. That was good. They really know how to get you, don't they? Yeah. A friend of mine said that her daughter said to her, oh, mommy, I can smell your bottom.

Oh, mummy, I can smell your bottom. I can smell your bottom. It smells like crab buckets when we go to Margate. That's awful. That is so bad. Oh my god. She was just like, I mean, you can't sometimes you just, they just nail it, don't they? They just nail it and you have to live with that. Yeah, I said, isn't there anything nice you can say about my face, about the way I look? And my daughter said, you've got nice eyebrows. And my eyebrows are microbladed,

they're not even my real eyebrows. You fake eyebrows are nice. Oh, I'm doing my teeth whitening again. and my daughter said, I said, is it working? And she said, well, the middle, the center ones do look a bit less rotten. Rotten. But at least you get to have a nice lie down though. So it doesn't matter what she thinks. Exactly.

Just keep going. Keep going and having a nice lie down. So I was thinking about my perfect night would be the going to see Dolly Parton or Barbara Streisand although perhaps that would be a late afternoon early evening. Oh yeah I was thinking that was a matinee. Oh yeah that would be ideal. I know it's really awful but I think I just want to sleep. I want to sleep really well. I want to sleep so well. This is why I sound insane. I sound so, when I told you about my day, I sound so lazy and like I don't do anything. You don't sound lazy. You sound like a busy working mum who.

His sleep schedule has got destroyed and can't cope. Yeah, you're like, you work nights basically, don't you? Yeah, although at the moment, I'm not doing anything much apart from getting ready for Edinburgh and freaking out and... Have you just finished a script? Yeah, I know I finished a treatment for a sitcom. You know, it's the way things always are. I've got things bubbling away that I've

been working on and deadlines and you know things but whether they'll translate into like proper work. I've done a bit of acting. It's funny because you were saying I stand up being hard and then I was thinking acting, my god, I was in a film. I've been in a film and... What's the film? When's it out? Actually, it's on IMDB. I saw it the other day and my name is on there so I think I can say it. It is, got bloody Saoirse Ronan in it. Wow!

I've only got like three lines and I'll probably be cut but it's called Bad Apples and it's out next year. Yeah it was a really like completely new world. I did an advert before that so I'd done a tiny bit of filming but yeah that was like the first proper thing I did and I had to act with her. Oh my God. Which was just bananas. Yeah. How did it come about? Do you know? Did they, had they seen your... I just did self-tape. It was just for a month. It was, I mean, it's perfect. It was for a

school parent in a school in Bristol. It's been filming in near Bristol. So yeah, it was the perfect thing really. Did it make you want to do more? Yeah, I'm doing an acting course at the moment actually, which I'm really, really enjoying. No wonder you're tired. Yeah, it did make me want to do more, definitely. I said to my agent though, I was like,

my range is village idiot and grumpy shopkeeper. What more do you need? Yeah. What more do you need? Amy, let's see what's your piece of perfection that you'd recommend this week. I would recommend the C-mat song, the new C-mat song, which is take a sexy picture of me if you haven't seen it or seen the video or heard the song. It's such a good song. And she says these things, you know when you get these bits in a song that just scratch your brain, she says, and

make me look six, I can't say, make me look 16, that bit scratches your brain. And she also says in an amazing, how amazing, Irish accent, I did hand stuff, I did leg tings and it's just like, oh, it's just, she says it so beautifully. It's a lovely, amazing song and it's so funny and oh, it's just she says it so beautifully. It's a lovely, amazing song. And it's so funny and clever. Listen to that song. Yes, that's so good. Such a good recommendation. I was just thinking that I need new.

Well, I was talking to my friend about this, that I need new artists because it's hard. I find it hard. You sound like you're quite plugged into the music world. Oh, I'm not at all. But I think it just gets harder and harder to stay plugged into the music world. Oh, God, I'm not at all. But I think it just gets harder and harder to stay plugged into the music world. Don't you think? I was on Radio 6 Roundtable the other day, and then I looked at the thing and it said a panel of experts.

And I literally just listened to Katy Perry roar with my daughter and shake off my tail as to where it's bad. But luckily, I used to be really into music and real indie girl, but they, luckily they tell you what the songs are going to be before. So I can like, prepare. Oh thank God. I do love Seema. I love that running, running planning song. Oh yeah, so good. She's so clever. She's so catchy, like great, really good pop songs, but feel kind of like elevated by her intelligence, like you say.

That's a really good recommendation. My three-year-old, when we just went to America, blistering hot sunshine, April. What song does she insist on listening to over and over again on our road trip? Rue Jolf the Red Nose Reindeer. And this is the problem is that you do, you know, if your music is dictated to by a three-year-old and a seven-year-old, then anything else you want to talk about or plug? Well, just that I'm doing work in progress shows for my new show. I'm going to Edinburgh.

You're going to Edinburgh this year. You will be at what venue? Peasants Courtyard 550. My show is called Behold! with an exclamation mark and it's about me getting hacked and the hackers sending loads of, for some reason which we still don't know, they sent loads of sex toys to my house. So this is a true story, you got hacked and then you got in touch with the hackers and then for some reason they started...

No I didn't get in touch with them, they hacked me, they hacked like all my accounts and they stole money and stuff. They got my phone number and then they used my phone number to get password reminders for all of my accounts. Oh my god. And then for some inexplicable reason they used my eBay account to order on my credit cards sex toys from a third party seller on eBay and they got them sent to my house. How many? Like boxes and boxes of them? Yeah, so I got three double-ended black mamba double-ended 16 and a half inch dildos, three butt plugs of various sizes and a flesh-like vagina and anus combo. Wow. And that's what the show's about, really. It's just me like investigating this mystery.

Oh my God. It's really silly. That's wonderful. And there's no sad bits. I just wanted to make something just really stupid and fun and I'm having a great time performing actually. Oh, I can't wait to see this. And I'm doing work in progress shows.

I'm doing Pleasance in London on, I think it's the 22nd of, 21st of July maybe. Oh God, I should know, but in July at Pleasance London and then I'm going to Edinburgh and then I'm going on tour with it next year. Okay, great. And check out Amy's Instagram and TikTok as well. Amy, thank you so much for coming on Perfect Day. Thank you so much for coming on Perfect Day. That was so fun.

You heard it people, that was Amy Mason. Head out to see her new show Behold! in August at the Edinburgh Fringe or to one of her Work in Progress shows. Thank you so much to Amy for coming on, I really hope you get a general anaesthetic soon. us. And thank you to everyone who has already done that and press the follow button. Send your emails to everydayaperfectday at gmail.com. If you want, from Yorkshire with love, I'm Jessica Knapit, wishing you a perfect day. A perfect day.

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