Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP 51: Olga Koch

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

Comedian Olga Koch joins the podcast this week to describe her perfect day. The pair discuss sensory delights in the big Boots, Olga’s thoughts on human computer interaction, the third space and Jess’ alleyway. Plus, the pair delve into noughties fashion and a good goss.  Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast. A Keep It Light Media ProductionSales and general enquiries: [e-mail]   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Hello, perfect dayas! Welcome! This week on the podcast we have a brilliant comedian. I've been hunting her down for a long time. Her name is Olga Koch and she's here to tell us all about her perfect morning, afternoon and evening, of course. We talk house shares, spag bol, big boots, travel logistics and my favourite topic, human-computer interaction. Plus I talk about my alleyway. Not a euphemism. And how naughty's fashion has influenced my body to this day. It's Confessions galore. It's a good old goss. Pop the kettle on.

This is Olga Cork's perfect day. today. I'm so happy to talk to you properly. Oh my God, I'm so excited to talk to you. Instead of just sending you Instagram messages telling you that I love you, running off after going to see your standup and then sending you little messages afterwards. It's actually nice to meet you properly. Thank you so much. I'm sending you messages saying I accidentally stole your joke.

Oh my God, please don't worry about it. I also, I'm sure that I'm probably not the first person and not the last person to ever say that. So the joke is in case we keep this bit listeners. Olga Koch very hilariously refers to the show Magic Mike, referenced in episode one of Perfect Day actually. She calls them the Magical Michaels. It's very funny. And I was on Sunday brunch and it slipped out of my mouth. I said, Magical Michael. And then I thought, oh, there's no, I can't take it back. And I can't say, by the way, the moment is gone. And then I thought, oh, there's no, I can't take it back. And I can't say, by the way, the moment had gone.

And then I just had to send you a message saying, I stole your joke on live television and I'm so sorry. I will say this again, I promise. I promise I'm not the last or first person to probably say that. I'm gonna say this for one second. Oh, sorry, I live with three people who I need to now tell that I can't record the podcast in the co-working space and I have to do it in the flat. It's one of those birthdays.

At the end of the day, you know what? Happy birthday, Phillip. Stay in your room. Oh my God. I didn't hear any of what, did you just mute your mic to do that? Yes, yes, yes. Now everybody knows. I wish you hadn't. Because that's so funny. What did you just say? I just said sorry about six million times. I know I don't sound very British, but I do feel it. I said sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

And then I said sorry, sorry, sorry again, but now they are in their room. So everyone's gone. So it's his birthday. They were in the common space and now they've had to all go back to their rooms because you're recording this. This is not a perfect day for anyone. This is not the intention of this podcast. We're ruining people's days.

They get a special shout out. But yeah, they do. Happy birthday to? Philip. Philip. Who is forever 29. Forever 29, stay in your room. Are you in a 20-something house, Cher?

Yes, in that every single one of us is 33. Perfect. Oh, wow. God, that sounds fun. You know, a lot of people's perfect days are especially like old, you know, people who are old like me and are nostalgic for those days. And a lot of people have days which are sort of reminiscent of being in house shares and coming together and the collective hangover and things like that.

So you're living, you're still in the perfect day zone for many other people. Yes, 100%. I think one of the life's greatest joys is unplanned hangouts. Like, and the fact that like I, Philip and I have been living together for 10 years now, over 10 years, over 11 years. And I think for the past six years, we've made it, we see each other constantly, but we maybe made a total of like three planned things. And I think that is beautiful. It's just like a constant in my life. Oh, how do you know him? We've been in high school, best friends from high school. No

way. Yeah. High school in, because you went to school in England. You're Russian born. Yes. But you went to school in England. But did you go via America at some point? I went to an American high school in the UK. So Phil and I both went to an American high school and then I went to uni in America as well.

Aha. Sorry, it's very convoluted and doesn't make much sense. Because you're very clever as well, aren't you? I don't know about that. Very academic. Yes, because you've just done a masters. And I'm currently doing a PhD, not to brag. No, you're not. Jess, not to brag. What is happening? You brought it up.

Why are you bringing this up? What is your masters in? Human computer interaction. Right. So which is something that... Oh, that's so... Right. It's honestly everything. It's like, once you really think about the scope of it, it's like the second you interact with any piece of sort of electronics, theoretically, like when you're using your microwave, that's human-computer interaction. Okay. Because we're all, I mean, we're all cyborgs now, really, aren't we?

Yeah, like everything is a computer. things that don't have to be. The fact that I have a digital kitchen scale always blows my mind because I'm like, there's no need for this to be electronic and yet here we are. Why do you think that is? Because do you think that's just fashion or do you think... Why do you think that is? Well, one of the reasons is the fact that if it's electronic, then it can break, then you could buy a new one. And that means that the company

that's making scales isn't selling you something forever. It's selling you something for a small period of time. So they can keep selling scales as opposed to sell one scale to each family and then go out of business. So having completed a master's in human computer interaction. Yeah, this is what it's about. It is now. Do you have you come away with a general sense that it's a good thing or a bad thing for the world? Oh, God. I think I came in thinking it was a bad thing because I used to work in tech and I was so dis in thinking it was a bad thing. Because I used to work in tech and I was so disillusioned with it altogether. And I came into academia almost thinking like, well, how can we save this and we can't save

this and we need to go back to the land. But what academia really surprised me with and something that I haven't really fully adapted yet, is this like, almost unwavering thirst for knowledge that is completely sort of like amoral? I don't know, but like not immoral, amoral. Like they don't care about bad or good. They care about like knowing more and finding out more. And I think it's a little scary even because they're like, okay, well, what else can we

make this thing do? And it's like, ah, but aren't we considering how bad this could be? And they're like, no, that's not our job. Our job is to see how much we can, we can get this thing to do. Whoa, that's so interesting. Really interesting. Like it's, it's just a little, a little bit of a shift. It's given how much of conversations, at least like in the comedy world that I live in are so deeply moralistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, like ethics and good

causes and charity gigs and politics. And it's like, academia exists in a sort of parallel universe to that. And as a, but you're quite, would you say that you as a person are quite moralistic? I don't know. We're straight in with this. Straight in with the deeper. I just don't, I'm fascinated. I think so, yes. And I think comedy made me more so. Straight in with this. Straight in with the deeper. I just don't, I'm fascinated. I think so, yes. And I think comedy made me more so. You are a fascinating person, Olga. How can you do, how is it that you, how can you, how do you have the time to manage to do a PhD and how are you keeping both of those things alive?

How is that, how is that working? That balance? Well, it's part time and I would say I'm doing both poorly. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. You actually, you give it 50% each and then it shows. That's how I feel about parenting. Oh really? Okay.

There you go. Well, that's every time you talk to a parent, they're like, yeah, you, I mean, you kind of don't have a choice but to do it. You know what I mean? Like you could call me brave all you want, but it's like, yeah, I mean, you kind of don't have a choice, but to do it, you know what I mean? Like you could call me brave all you want, but it's like, what am I not going to raise my kid? Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, I'm not going to raise my kid because I'm just going to go to work instead. In my case. How do you do it? I don't. I don't see me.

Next question. Next question. All right, let's get going. I'm dying to hear you perfect day. Are you ready? Should we start? Yes, let's go. Olga Koch, what's your perfect morning? Perfect morning. You've already mentioned a collective hangover. I think what I want is to be mildly hungover, not like crazy end of the world, but as like a sprinkling of, are you mad at me? Text messages here and there. Just a touch.

Just a touch. There's been some drama. There's been some drama. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe, maybe something like, oh my God, let's discuss what happened last night. Oh my God. I can't believe I said that last night. Oh, I know you, you've done something. I could have done something. My friends could have done something. Ideally, the person who's like the drama revolved around is like indirect proximity. So maybe it's like a weekend away or a trip or they're having a sleepover. So I could be like, tell me everything.

So maybe there's like let themselves down just a bit. Is that what it is? I was thinking maybe they hooked up with someone that they for a long time wanted to. Okay, right. You went in a little bit of a different direction. It's just, it's come up, it sometimes comes up. No. Okay. So it's, so it's like this, yeah, it's ju- and you can sort of like, it's juicy and you can live vicariously. It's goss basically. Yes. So maybe like I saw them start, like maybe they were like talking in the smoking room and I know that like my friend really wanted it to happen and then I didn't see anything and then I saw and then I see them and they're like eeeee and it's time.

Sorry, what's a smoking room? Oh sorry, smoking area. Oh okay. I was like god because I did used to work in it. I did actually like once upon a time work in one of those terrible workplaces that had a smoking room and I was like, have they brought back smoking rooms? Sometimes in a rogue European airport, like in the Milan airport, you know they've got one.

Well, actually I'm from Yorkshire. Leeds Bradford Airport has a smoking room. There you go. I mean, it is outside, but because it's like contained, because you can't walk onto the runway obviously, it might as well be inside. It is rank. And because it's like contained by, because you can't walk onto the runway, obviously. Right, right. It might as well be inside. It is rank. And you can smell like the whole airport.

It might as well be the whole airport. But you know, the juiciest hookups are happening in that way. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm seeing. A lot of the time they're made out of glass so they look like a human aquarium. Yeah. So, so there's some, there's been a juicy, juicy hookup and you're hearing all about it

and it's someone, and maybe you had some sort of involvement in the instigation of it, or why is that so fun watching your friends hook up with people? It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. And then from a sensory viewpoint,

and I have thought about this quite deeply, is I think nothing on a hangover is better than a cold swim. So I'll do a pool, I'll do a beach, maybe we're on a beach holiday, maybe I'm maybe hooked up with, I don't know, someone who works at the hotel. I don't know. But what I want is the feeling of going underwater on a mild hangover. Oh my god. You're so right. You know, I barely drink these days, but last night just decided to drink quite a bit. Because it was so sunny. It's so sunny today as well as we record. Thank you for being inside. And I was thinking on the train this morning, I think I could brave the river today. Even though our river is famously slightly full of sewage and you do have to close your mouth when you go in it.

What I really am craving is, is I need to go, that's what it is. It's like, you need to feel the plunge of your head go. You need the water to be slightly in your ears. Yeah, like a baptism. Yes. Yes. That's what it is. I need to be cleansed the natural way that my primal body requires. And then because I feel like, I don't know about you, but on a mile hangover, I'm quite existential. When you go into water, you sort of have all these thoughts of like, this is what we were made to do.

This is nature. This is Gaia. This is primal. It just feels, it feels coming back again, coming back to the land. I'm really in it. Are you a cold water swimmer when you're not hung over? Like, is this a passion? I have dabbled. I haven't gone full in. but that being said, my fiance's family lives on the Isle of Mull in Scotland and they're all about a plunge. Like plunge for any occasion. It's an Easter plunge. It's a Christmas plunge. It's someone got divorced plunge. The plunge is happening constantly. And so they like were generous enough. They like gave me a dry robe. I have all the accoutrements, so I'm ready for that step in my life. All the good no ideas. That's exactly it. Do you do you do you cold? A bit yeah a bit but it is like

there are there are warnings not to go in the river but we do we we we do them anyway. But it's mostly the sewage less so the temperature. Yes well but actually both but it's at this time of year Yes, well, but actually both. But it's at this time of year, we risk it. Speaking of the Isle of Mull. Yes. How do you get there? Because there's a there's another there's an I can't remember the name of it, but there's another island near Mull that somebody said to me, if you go on that island, you will it will change you spiritually.

And I wish I could remember what it was. Do you reckon? Could be Iona? Yes. Iona, could be Iona. It's Iona. And then I was looking at it on the map and I was like, but how do I get there?

It's an endeavor. It's a full day. So basically this is the best case scenario. This is best case scenario. So keep that in mind. I live in London, you live in Yorkshire. So you're it's a full day. So basically, this is the best case scenario. This is best case scenario. So keep that in mind. I live in London, you live in Yorkshire. So you're taking a train to Glasgow. From Glasgow, we're taking a train to Oban. From Oban, we're taking a ferry to to mall, but we're not taking

a ferry directly to Tubermorri because the ferry doesn't go there directly. And so then we are taking a 40 minute drive to Tubermory where Bellamory was filmed. And that is, I would say, in best case scenario, 12 hours. Oh, wowie. My family lives in Germany, it is quicker to get to my family's house than it is to get to mine. I love that. But then the most that it's always the most beautiful place is like, I'm trying to get to Cornwall from Leeds. Oh, because I've got tickets to see the darkness. Okay, well, that would be fantastic. But then the farther you go, it's a nightmare to get there. I mean, it's like a nine hour drive. And even if you choose to fly, I've like I've considered flying to Cornwall if you go, it's still like a two hour drive to wherever you need to go. Yeah.

And also what I have to do is fly to Dublin, No. hang around a bit and then fly to, No, no, no. then fly to me. We're not doing that, we're not doing that. But then you go to Bermori and I feel like I'm actually gonna incriminate everyone there, but like nobody locks their cars and nobody locks their front doors because it's like we're all family

here. That's like who's going to come? Oh, you're going to rob me. How are you going to escape buddy? You're going to wait for the next ferry in four hours. It sounds amazing. So I mean, presumably you can't get there that often if it's taking you that long, but this is, it's obviously made an impact if it's in your perfect day. Yeah. I mean, I think ideally the plunge would be there. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, the views and there's dolphins sometimes, dolphins sometimes. It's paradise. It's freaking paradise. Wow. Are you, you're doing Edinburgh this year? Yeah, for a couple of weeks.

So you can just pop off there after? Will you say that? Oh yeah, it's like a quick nine hours one way probably. Yeah, I'm just leaving Edinburgh, see you in 12 hours. Great, god, this is lovely. So what happens next? So this is, the morning is we're having a gossip sesh. We're doing a dip, ideally maybe both.

Maybe me and the person who is the deliverer of the gossip were plunging together. Nice. And I think the immediate feeling of cold and then warm is very, very satisfying. So maybe we're by a fire. Maybe we're bundled up in dry robes. Maybe the sun is out and we're by fire, maybe we're bundled up in dry robes, maybe the sun is out

and we're like immediately warmed by the sun. But the temperature fluctuations very pleasant. Yeah, for a slightly hungover person. And then the amount of food and drink you can and not necessarily alcoholic, I wouldn't even say alcoholic, I don't want to drink alcohol. I will say the permission you give yourself to eat and drink on a hangover is like a carte blanche, like none other. So you are having a full English, you are, you're having a milkshake with

your full English because I'm hungover. It's actually going to cure my hangover. It's medicinal. This Oreo cookies and cream milkshake is medicine to me. Wow. That's so lovely. Is there anything on a full English that you ask them to take away? I don't want to be predictable, but the tomato has no business. I always leave it. I wouldn't ask them to not put it on my plate, but I am leaving it.

It's never cooked properly, is it? It's always just like the stem and it's quite hard. It's hard and then it explodes in your mouth like a boba pearl from bubble tea, but it's not sweet or nice. It's like a savory, it's like a blitz World War II boba pearl. Yeah. I agree, but everything else. Are you a veggie? No, I was for seven years and then I wasn't. Oh, wow. What turned you? I initially became vegetarian for none, no ethical reason other than I just dared myself

to. I was like, how hard could it be not to eat meat? And then I was like, I think after seven years, I have proven that it's not that hard. And one of the most exciting things to start eating meat again, and again, I'm not advocating for or against meat. But the most exciting bit after seven years was trying all the basics for the first time again. Like trying spag bol for the first time, because you don't remember the first time you had it. But I do remember the first time I had it after seven years of not having it. And you're like, what? Fried chicken for the first time.

You're like, oh my God. It's just so good, isn't it? That's the problem. It's just so delicious. Do you eat meat? I'd love to be a veggie. I've dabbled in, I've dabbled, but I just, I know I can't, it never, it never sticks.

It never sticks because I know, I know, I know how, I know how, I know how delish fried chicken is, that's the problem. Yeah. Anyway, so how, what's your normal morning like? Because presumably you're a comedian, but obviously you're also an academic. How do you like, are you a morning person? Do you get up? Do you have a kind of a creative routine?

So more often than not, it's an 8 a.m. wake up. Wow. Then sometimes we're doing the artist's way. Sometimes we're doing three- Getting your morning pages done. That's nice. That's nice. Sometimes we're doing three pages of writing. That's nice. That's nice.

That's in a perfect world. Then put the coffee on, have coffee with my partner and do all of the New York Times games as well as a selection of other games we also found on the internet. Okay. So there's like six games in rotation. All right. Can we have the full list? Can we have the full list? Can we have the full breakdown?

Absolutely. So we start with Connections, New York Times. Fantastic. Then Wordle, New York Times also. And then we do, I think it's called Strands, also New York Times games. We are dabbling with introducing the mini, but the mini is timed and everything else isn't. So it's a little bit of a switch in the morning where you're like, are we doing this for fun

or for sport? Then we move on to our browser-based games. Thank you very much. First of all, it's a little bit of a switch in the morning where you're like, are we doing this for fun or for sport? Then we move on to our browser based games. Thank you very much. First of all, it's Spotle. Spotle is like a wordle, but for artists, you need to guess a musical artist. That's lovely. Then we do something called clapperboardle, which is you need to guess an actor, much like wordle or spotle, but with an actor.

And then the final one is minute cryptic where it's a one cryptic puzzle a day. Whoa. It's a whole suite. It's a ritual. It's glorious. Is that every day? We try to do it every single day. When we're together, when I'm not on tour every day. That's so sweet. And then you don't have to think of things to talk about with your partner because there's an agenda. But also it must really get the old synapses flaring. It's fun. It's really, really fun. And then like, once you start, like, for example, you start guessing artists and then you remember these artists and you play a song by an artist. And then you're like, oh, I wish I saw them or like, I used to think that they're blank or whatever. I used to, like the first time I heard Rolling Stone Satisfaction was the Britney Spears cover

and I thought it was her song, you know, stuff like that. It's cute. That's an education. Oh, that's lovely. Oh, that's so great. Do you dabble in any games? Well, I've just, I, I've just started getting back into Wordle, but it was a long break. The problem with my children is as soon as you get your phone out, they want to do stuff on the phone themselves and they want to watch. Then they'll say, as soon as you get your phone out, they'll go, can I watch Bluey? Can I watch Peppa? You know, it's a gateway. And that's human computer interaction, Jess.

Oh my God, of course it is. Yeah. There's absolutely no reason for it. Exactly. As established. Okay, is there anything else you want to add to your perfect morning? It sounds pretty perfect to me.

No, I feel great about it. It's a swim, it's some gossip, it's some disgusting food that you feel no guilt about eating. I love it. Okay, let swim, it's some gossip, it's some disgusting food that you feel no guilt about eating. I love it. Okay, let's move on to Perfect Afternoon. This is very smooth. I feel very proud of the fact that we are adhering to the format. It's a very clear format. It's very clear and we're sticking with it and I admire that in you and I admire it, I guess, about myself.

So what's your perfect afternoon? So if I had to, okay, so there are a series of friends that I have across the globe that I would say I am my girliest with. Okay, yeah. And so in a perfect world, every one of these girls, even though some of them don't know each other, it's a collection of all of them. One lives in Toronto, one lives in New York,

a couple live in London, one lives in Glasgow, assembling them all. And we are going into a beauty department store of some kind. It could be a big boots, it could be a CVS, it could be a Sephora, it could be an Olive Young, it could be a shopper's drug mart. I don't care. I just need it to be huge and we're not buying anything, but we are going aisle by aisle and we're smelling and touching everything. And we are smelling and we're showing it to each other, being like, oh my God, isn't this cool? And they're like, oh my God, that is cool. And we're showing each other and we are smelling and we're showing it to each other, being like, oh my god, isn't this cool? And they're like, oh my god, that is cool. And we're showing each other and we're

swatching and we're spritzing and we're like applying it to our own hair. We're reading the formulas. We're just having a sensory time. Oh, wow. Is this like, is this a sort of a childhood memory? Is this something that you used to do a lot? Well, partially, yes. I think that it's a little bit of a hangover because obviously my parents grew up in the Soviet Union and like the sort of the idea of a supermarket or any store of that kind was very novel to them. So I remember doing it with my mom because it was as novel to her as it was to me.

So that- Because there just weren't any at all whatsoever. But the thing is, I also think there probably just weren't like a Sephora is a relatively new thing. There wasn't like a Sephora equivalent to this or like a big boots equivalent in the seventies. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they did have department stores.

We've always had department stores. True. Like you liberties and yourself. That level of variety. Like I'm thinking, like, do you know like an American CVS that's like as big as a parking lot. And you're just like, I'm here for an hour and I have not done the same aisle twice. Would you say that that's probably the worst thing about growing up in the Soviet Union

was just that there was no sufferer? Yeah. Give them a Dyson air dryer that's still around. The CBS's were tiny. So yeah, I mean, because even from like the UK to America, you have that like awe. I remember when they opened the big boots in Covent Garden and being like, boots can be this big? Wow. It's a super store beauty store.

Yes, it's a supermarket's worth of just beauty stuff. And also, I crucially would like to highlight the fact that we are not shopping. We are having a sensory experience. Right. Yeah. We're there to smell, swatch, touch. And then the sort of communal exchange of it, like, look at this shade. Have you seen this formula? It's the fact that I could have a very serious conversation with peers that are on my level when it comes to liquids and potions and gels. Yeah. So when you say it's like, because I get the smell. So like, I guess the thing is that I always struggle with in those sort of situations is like, you've only got one bit of one hand in which to try the product.

And then what are you doing? So are we just putting a little bit of, what is it, like foundation? Because are you putting it on your face? We're not putting it on our face. No, it's just going on your hand. We're definitely not putting it on our face. That being said, I think keeping it to a hand is a small minded, no offense. Basically you need to, you need,

there is a bit in yourself that you need to sort of get over and the bigger the store, the easier it is to get over yourself because there's no, there's no attend, like in a small store, the attendant is looking at you the, and they, and they are judging you. Whereas if it's big enough to be like a supermarket, there are certain aisles that have no supervision whatsoever. And whatever's happening on CCTV, that's none of my business. So I have been known to go into a Sephora and reach for the most

expensive sun cream and just apply it all over my arms if I'm out and about and I don't have some cream on me. If your hair is getting a little... Hang on, but are these testers? Yeah, there's testers. Oh, right. Okay. You're not just like helping yourself. There's testers on everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Obviously we're doing a tester. Hair oil, hair mousse, hair spray.

You're putting that in your hair. You're putting that in your hair. How do I know I want to buy it if I don't try it? Well, you just buy, I mean, I never do this because this is a revelation to me. I never do this and I've never done it with anyone. I love to do it. I want us to do it. You're going to a space in K and we're having a ball. I feel that, yeah, this is new because I think all I do is I just get a bit scared and then I just will buy it and then maybe not like it. But I feel, I always feel the pressure. This is why you need to be hidden by the huge amount of space.

Absolutely. And I think there's, is it, what is the expression? There's strength in numbers. So there's five of us there. We can almost create like a human wall around anyone who's maybe taking a bit too much lotion. Put it on your legs. In the summer, there's more exposed skin. Why are we just using our hands?

A perfume? Oh my God, just dousing yourself in like body spray or perfume? Yeah. And so have you got, is this something that you do regularly now still with like with a group of friends? Can you remember the last time this happened? I wouldn't do it with groups of friends. I'll do it one on one. Like, like, this is a perfectly normal hangout for me to be like, Hey, do you want to just go walk around to the big

boots in Covent Garden? 100% Yes, that is a hangout in and of itself. That's a catch up location. Yeah. It's like going to the park. You go down the aisles and the boots. This is late stage capitalism. These are our third spaces. They took away our community centers, but they gave us the big boots. They did it so true. The town that I used to live in in Manchester, they literally took away the town. They bulldozed the town square and just built a massive Tesco on top of it. So it used to have like a butchers and a greengrocers and it was just like in this little square and then it was just the massive Tesco's. And then I guess people sort of hung out in Tesco's like that's when you, that's where you bumped into people.

Yeah. I mean, the thing is I remember, well, fundamentally, I think eighties and nineties in America specifically, it was the mall, right? Everybody would hang out at the mall. You'd skateboard at the mall, go to the food court, hang out around the fountain at the mall. So sort of retail locations as a third space is a thing that's been around for decades. And what's the third space? I don't think I've ever heard the term third space.

Oh, third space is meant to be like a space that isn't your work or your home where you go for community. And I think like now it's very, I mean, fashionable and also true to talk about how there are no third spaces anymore, unless they're like spaces where you're specifically asked to spend money. So before you used to be able to go to like the community gym or community hall or wherever it was, you're like, I don't know, practice dance or the library. And now there's fewer and fewer free spaces to do that. And then you need to pay for a third space

and that's a sort of crisis. Or the fact that in America, a lot of places, there will be like no parks to even sit in. Yeah. We have a third space. It's our alley. There you go. The alley behind our house is where all the kids run that, like they just like ride their bikes up and down. And we, I mean, and our neighbors, we actually have like installed a bench. That's lovely. Into the alley. Because we spend so much time there because our kids want to hang out

with each other in the alley. So now we just have to because our kids want to hang out with each other in the alley. So now we just have to like move and sometimes we'll bring a bottle of wine out. That's beautiful. This could be, this could be a heartwarming like human interest story on the news where it's like this neighborhood is creating its own space. People still hang out. That's the top line. People still hang out. And we haven't bought anything. There you go.

On July 18th, it's the Blue Crew to the rescue. It's smurfing time. Hefty. Can you even lift, bro? Glouchy. I hate the radio. Quiet. There's something important to tell you.

I have no idea what he just said. And smurf it. That's how it's done, boys. Smurfs. Only in theaters July 18th. Yeah, so that's beautiful. And my alley is the big boots. Yeah. I feel you. Do you live in London? Mm hmm. Yeah.

So that- But I, but I travel a lot. So I know, I know the big boots equivalent in pretty much any country. It's the chemist warehouse in Australia. It is shoppers drug marts in Canada. It's, um, yeah, I got you. Wherever you land, I'll let you know where the big boots is. You'll be there. But also, I used to do this all the time

with my partner on road trips and things, and he never got it. He never judged me for it. He was like, yeah, go have fun at Ulta or Sephora or whatever. And then I explained it to him, and now he gets it. And he gets it to the point where two days ago we were in space NK having sensory playtime. And then he just be lines for a men's moisturiser and covers his whole face in front of like three attendants in the space NK with the tester. It was fearless. It was beautiful.

I feel like the student became the teacher. So proud of him? Did you give him a kiss? 100% on his moisturised face. That's so funny. Oh my god, this is delightful. So you've had sensory play in a big boots in Covent Garden. And does anything else, do you need anything else to your perfect afternoon? Or is that it? Are you there for the whole afternoon? I wouldn't I if I'm with my girls and if it's a big enough one We are spending spending two hours there hour and a half easy I would say in a perfect world what we would do is we would buy ice drinks of some kind ideally icedees, or I call them cold brown. And one hand, cold brown in one hand,

we're doing it for two hours. Then once we're done with the cold brown, what we do is, and this is crucial, we go for ice cream, but in a sit down place. And then if we did buy something, we show each other the things that we bought over ice cream. Oh my God. This is so 90s, like American high school TV. It's like every movie. So when you moved

to England, was this a thing that you started doing and you were excited by it? Because it does feel like, I mean, no, I mean this in a nice way, but it does feel like a sort of childhood fulfillment thing. It definitely is. But I think that it wasn't necessarily of childhood fulfillment thing. It definitely is. But I think that it wasn't necessarily just an American thing. I remember doing it in high school with like, if you go to HMV, you show each other the DVDs or CDs that you bought. Like, I think that's just, that was just like a universal sort of like,

teenage thing. I love that you still do that. I just love that. It's so fun. Or like when you go shop clothes shopping and then you do a fashion show at home. I love a fashion show at home. My mom still does fashion show at home for me. She's in her sixties. She's like, do you want to see a sweater I bought? And then she puts it on. She walks it around. I do do that actually. I did it not so long

ago. I've got really into the concept, although I don't always feel like it, but of dopamine dressing. Oh my God, what's that? Well it's where you just wear bright colors basically, but you just wear like you're just like head to toe in loads of color. Hell yes. And like you try and like match and contrast colors so that you deliberately create like a color pop with like orange and blue and you know like stuff like that. That's so fun. And it just was really fun and then I was like

when I learned about the concept of it I was like oh my god and I just had like a whole day of just like putting clothes together that I would never have thought like a whole day of just like playing dress up by myself and then I was like you're your own doll. Yes. And then I started, and then I was like doing catwalks for my kids. That's so fun. And then they were going, put this one on, mommy, put this one on. That's so cute.

I mean, their suggestions were horrible. But I did it anyway, cause I wanted them to join in. But yeah, no, I, it's funny when you find those little things that you're like, why did I stop doing this? And now I just feel like I'm going to take your advice, not Lewis advice, but I'm going to go shop, I'm going to go shopping, window shopping for cosmetics with some friends. You should. It's like smelling cool stuff, touching cool stuff, swatching cool stuff. I think once you take the pressure off yourself of like, I am not shopping to buy and I won't

feel guilty if I don't buy anything, then it's like, oh, fundamentally this is a museum where I could touch things. Oh my God. It's actually very Zen. Isn't it? You're being here now. It's so consumerist that it becomes anti-consumerist. Except not because you're not buying anything. Okay, so that's a good two hours and then

is there anything else to add to the afternoon? Yeah I'd say we're showing each other what we bought if we did buy something over ice cream. Ice cream always the perfect ending to anything. But it has to come at the end. You can't start with ice cream because ice cream is objectively the best thing that's going to happen to you that day. That's very true. Do you have a favorite ice cream flavor and a favorite ice cream place or is it just like

it's ice cream full stop, ice cream is ice cream? The best ice cream I've ever had in my entire life was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And Wisconsin is in America considered like the dairy state. They're like, we make the cheese and the milk. So it's no surprise that their ice cream is so good. And it was a place called Leon's. And what they do is not ice cream, they call it frozen custard. But essentially, it was a pecan frozen custard

that was like soft serve. And I think they only had the two flavors and it's like, yeah, it was the great, because it was like the fattiest, highest quality, most delicious milk. And when you know, when you do, they only do the one thing, you know, they're doing it well because otherwise they wouldn't be in business. Yeah. There's like no toppings, no nothing. because otherwise they wouldn't be in business. Yeah, I had one of those experiences in LA with a matcha green tea thing and it was like a soft serve and it was what turned out to be our last meal out before lockdown. Oh my god.

So I spent the whole of lockdown just thinking about that ice cream. It looked like Really embedded. So that's probably the afternoon then is it? Yeah. I think we spent a lot of time. You've been with your girls. Okay, Olga, let's move on to your perfect night involves a couple of things. I don't know if I've ever experienced them all at the same time, but I do believe it is possible. Okay.

Wow. Crucially it involves two things. It has to involve live music of some kind. So I'm thinking it could be like jazz bar. I would rather it not be a concert of someone like I know. I want it to be sort of like more low stakes, low stakes live music. So if there's like, we're at a bar and it's like, oh, they have a country band on and we didn't know, and they're actually amazing.

And it's like, I'm there happens to be live music there or there's a jazz band playing in the corner or on the street like something like that that would be ideal or it's like this restaurant has a pianist how amazing spontaneous fabulous music yeah I love that I love that I need it and also what I love and this is you can't plan this but it is my perfect evening is again the sort of unplanned hey are you in the neighborhood yeah i'm with a couple of friends oh my god i know them i haven't seen them in years come over do you know what i mean the sort of like perfect alchemy of like we didn't plan this and yet that's it's happening it's my favorite thing Like if you're in a group of, and then someone texts someone and then they're coming along and they're like,

oh, I know it's good. It's the, like the snowball of unplanned, an unplanned evening. 100%. And it's someone in town that you haven't seen in years but you're so excited to see them and to catch up. And like everybody's mutual friends but everybody hasn't seen each other in a while're so excited to see them and to catch up. And like everybody's mutual friends, but everybody hasn't seen each other in a while. And you didn't plan this. This

hasn't been like in the calendar for months. It's just like, so ideally perfect, perfectly. It would be like in a weather like this, where it's warm, a warm evening, maybe some outdoor seating. Maybe you're like X Smith market type of of situation in London where you're like sitting and people just keep bringing up chairs and it's a good vibe. Oh my God. The excitement of bumping into people that you love but you haven't seen for a while.

But also the other thing that I think is so good about spontaneous social occasions is that you're free to leave at any time. 100%. You usually actually will stay quite a long time. Yeah, I think the thing that like defines that to me is that you start while it's still light out. It's like right after work. Maybe we were just planning to grab one drink with one friend after work.

It's like a 5.30pm pub pint, just a quick catch up, got to go. And then it sort of snowballs a little bit and then you check your phone and honey, it's 1 a.m. Have you spent much time in LA? Not loads, but I have been, yes. Because that was one of the things that I really missed when I lived there was that you, like I just never bumped into anybody. Oh, because everybody has to drive specifically to the place?

Yeah, because you have to like, you have to arrange to drive to someone's house and then that's how all the events are planned. Yes. I also think sometimes when I go to London and I walk around and I think, sometimes I think, I hope I've been to someone. Yeah, yes. I know that some people hate that, but I actually really love that. And it's

also something that I love about this little town that I live in. Everyone pretty much knows everyone and sometimes that can be bad, bad news. But mostly it means you're never on your end. Like you go to the, you go to Marks and Spencer's to buy some bananas and you will inevitably bump into someone you know and have a little chat. Yeah. It's just small town life. But this is different because this is cool, hot, young friends in their 30s drinking in an outdoor pub.

Nobody says this. I feel like that's something the closest you could get to orchestrating something like that is at the Edinburgh Fringe. Yes. Where like there is a finite amount of places where people could be hanging out and you're obviously going to run into people that you know. And then you could have the sort of like, oh, they have to go see a show, but then their friend stays and then that friend's friend comes and then that sort of is a constantly rotating and if the vibes are good, the vibes are good. And you might go for a curry. You might all just like decide at some point to go for a curry.

Yeah. Or like, oh, there's like a fun midnight show or a show of a clown that starts at 3am. Let's all go. I love this. Are you looking forward to that side of things when you go to Edinburgh? Yes, especially because I'm bringing just a work in progress. So that means no pressure whatsoever. Oh, but you're not so presumably doing a limited run? Yeah, just two weeks. I also do something called a karaoke night. Oh, something called a karaoke. Now we always do karaoke nights. But basically, I am of a this is very, very comedian is like, never get invited to party. So I host

a party because I can guarantee being invited to the party because I'm hosting the party person. I really relate to that. So for me, when I run the karaoke night, I was like, I don't care if you bitches don't invite me to things because this is the karaoke, I am hosting this and I know you want to be here. What? So is it just comedians singing karaoke? It's open to everyone. So it'll be like trained opera singers and then a comedian and then

it will be like a member of the public. And it's all like, I remember we've been doing it for years now. I remember one year, this is before she started doing Fringe Theatre. It was Diana Vickers out of nowhere. And everyone was like, is that fucking Diana Vickers? And it was, it was crazy. It was amazing. And she just, she just rocked up. She rocked up. She requested a song, like just like on the, on the writing down, like on the

little pieces of paper, it was her own song. No, she requested, it's all coming back to me now by Celine Dion. She has got an incredible voice. Yeah. She's, she obviously pulled it off. I saw her in the Gwyneth Paltrow was she amazing? So funny. Yeah, it was great.

I mean, it's just like it was super camp. It was just great. I kind of wished I'd seen it in like a like a small cabaret venue rather than. So Lucy, producer has just asked the question, was she wearing shoes? Was she barefoot on TV? I don't know what that's a reference to. Did she not wear shoes on X Factor? It was X Factor, wasn't it?

Oh, it was like cool indie girl time. I get it. She didn't wear shoes. It would be like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing to do. To like, oh me, shoes. I don't wear shoes. Do you know what's an embarrassing admission is when I started out in comedy, I started out in a sketch group called Lady Garden, there were six women. For some really weird reason, we didn't

wear shoes. I don't know why we didn't wear shoes, but I guess it was maybe it was just of the time it was like, you didn't have to. I think it's a cool girl thing. I think there's like, there's nothing more nonchalant than no shoes. I mean, we got a lot of splinters. I remember that. Some of the venues we played, Broken Glass, the souls of our feet were a mess. But also back in the day we were wearing like ballet flats, ballet flats. They're back baby. Yeahet flats are worse than being barefoot. Skinny jeans. No, it was for me a lot of tights, like legging tights. Underneath shorts and with a ballet flat. There's always a legging in a ballet flat. There's something about that piece of skin that is under the legging but above the ballet flat that's so unsettling to me.

Also revolting, another revolting admission. The reverse sock. I really, really stupidly would shave that part of my leg, just that bit, because that was the bit that was on display. And now that bit, it always grows back thicker than the rest of my leg hair. I know, I didn't need to tell you that, didn't need to share it, but I just, I feel like it's important for the listeners to know.

I love it so much. It's the same as when we were peep toe shows and only painted the one toenail that was peeping out. Yes. And then I remember like having someone over and like taking someone home and then taking off the shoes and being like, ah! Not that a dude would ever notice or care.

No. Like, ugh, what's that? You've only painted your big toe. Sorry, I have to leave. It's so weird what we do. You've only painted your big toe. Sorry, I have to leave. It's so weird what we do, isn't it? To adorn ourselves, sort of. But sort of, just the cheats. Where are we?

We've had a spontaneous night. Is that, that's the night, presumably. Yes, that's ideal to me. That's the end. And the thing is, apart from and I'm sure you've had this before in the podcast, like yes, they are individually perfect, the perfect three, but also if one led to another, that would be fantastic. Because the thing is, if my hangover the next day after the spontaneous night out results in gossip, because maybe two friends that I've introduced the previous night hooked up and then we're jumping in the water.

It's a perfect run on sort of domino. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, we're getting in the car at the end of the night. We're getting in the car for 12 hours because we all need to wake up in more. But that would be something like, oh my God, guys, wouldn't it be so random if we went to mole? And the vibes are good. So we were like, yeah, let's get some cans in and take the train to mole. Have you ever done that?

I mean, because I do know people who who sort of like. Have got really drunk and gone to the airport. Have you ever done like what? What's like the wildest sort of adventure you've gone on? So I remember I've obviously gone to the airport drunk like I've done the thing where you're like I'm just I'm just gonna keep partying and not go to sleep and take a morning flight. I just did it at Primavera two weeks ago. I don't recommend it. There's not it's not fun. Oh you mean you just didn't. Oh right so you had a flight to catch and you you just kept going. I have an 8am flight so I'm just going to party until 5 or 6 and then we'll go straight

to the airport. And there's no joy in it. There's no joy in it at all. Was Primavera, were you there as a punter? Because they don't have comedy at Primavera, do they? They don't. And if they did, I don't know if I would be a good fit. That being said, I do remember me and a guy who we didn't have the words for it before. But I think now these days it would be called something called a situation chip.

Oh, yeah. He lived in a different city. He came to visit me. I bought a tickets to go to this like music gig, the music gig that was like a little a little electronic key, but not too much. And so we went, we took what we thought was MDMA, pretty sure in retrospect, it was speed. And so we had the best time ever at the gig, but it was like, we got too hot. We got way too warm. So like, it was like, I don't feel that high. But we looked around, everybody was fully dressed and we were just wearing our underwear. And I was like in bra and pants. It was, and then we were like, essentially asked to put our stuff back on. And we were so overstimulated and so not ready to go to sleep that the crazy thing we did, we would go into like a casino, cashingo, right? Like one

of those slot machine 24 or seven places. And it was the perfect environment because you could really like lock in and it was bright and loud. and it's like constantly kachinging and blinging and like it was really stimulating in a way that was really satisfying. So I think we like stared at slot machines as opposed to play. Wow. It doesn't, it doesn't sound very fun, but I think that may be like a night spent in the sort of most over-stimulating environment. Oh, but you must have some great times on the road being a comedian.

Oh, yeah. And just travel all over the world and you hang out with your friends. Is it just the best? Do you love it? It's the best. It's the best. I can't believe it's my job. It's fucking crazy. It's so great. And you're so good at it. I can't. I'm I what are your dates in Edinburgh? I really want to come and see you. The first two weeks. So I think it's July 28th to August 10th, but it is a work in progress. So you do this. It's going to be nothing.

It's nothing yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. We have one bonus question. What is a piece of perfection you would recommend this week? In 2005, the world was changed by one small movie that no one seems to remember, but I will never forget. And the movie is called A Lot Like Love. It is a rom-com starring Amanda P and Ashton Kutcher. Oh yeah. And it is phenomenal. I watch it once a year. I just introduced my partner to it the other day. It's just the perfect film. It's got the perfect soundtrack. It's perfectly paced. It's funny. The acting is wonderful. It's like, because it's like a story about how they meet

like every two years. It's like a period piece. It's just, it's wonderful. Great. That's such a good recommendation. Because whenever people complain that like they don't make rom-coms like they used to, I'm like, this is what you mean. I promise this is what I mean. Obviously they don't because it's from 2005, but it's one of those that never

ends up in any lists, which really breaks my heart. Cause I think it is. It's fantastic. And it won't end up on any lists, which really breaks my heart, because I think it's fantastic. And it won't end up on any lists because it isn't on streaming services. Yeah. And I think it's just like not in the public consciousness. It's crazy how many, like, for example, people every now and then will bring up Bring It On, but Bring It On doesn't come up that often because Bring It On is never on any streaming services. Yet we're talking about Mean Girls all the time, but Mean Girls is always enabled.

We're talking about Clueless. We're talking about Mean Girls. Clueless is from page of Netflix every freaking day. Yeah. Yeah. Bring It All Back is what I say. Bring It All Back. Thank you so much, Olga. What a great chat. What a lovely, perfect day. It was a wonderful journey. I've been with you all the way from Mull to Covent Garden Boots to a spontaneous Alfresco beer garden and back to Mull again. Always. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you so, so much. This has been such a blast. Thank you to Olga. What a funny, clever, on track woman. So few tanges, I'm proud of myself. And speaking of Edinburgh, guess what? We are doing a special live charity record of Perfect Day in Edinburgh at the Fringe on the 19th of August in collaboration with the University of Edinburgh's Endometriosis Research Project. A project that is dear to my heart. Head to our Instagram page for all the details and to buy tickets. See you there. Thanks for listening, listeners.

See you there! Thanks for listening, listeners. From Yorkshire with love, I'm Jessica Knappett, wishing you a perfect day! How do you know if you're worrying too much? How can you mend a broken heart? Does peeking at school ruin you for life? I'm Susie Ruffall, a stand-up comedian and someone who has always experienced anxiety. And I've written a book, Am I Having Fun Now? Considering some of life's big questions. Featuring bonus insights from the likes of Charlene Douglas, Sarah Pascoe, Elizabeth Day and Dolly Auderton. Am I Having Fun Now? is out now in hardback, ebook and audio.