Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP16: Kiri Pritchard-McLean

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Comedian Kiri Pritchard-McLean joins Jess on the podcast this week, as the pair discuss her perfect day. They touch upon ghosts, the smell of coffee, charity shopping in Wales, the power of the female collective, Comic Relief and what role they would have fulfilled in the Victorian era. Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] A 'Keep it Light Media' Production Sales and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Conax Ontario Helpline at 1-866-531-2600. Alright then. No, I'm not mentally ill, Jess. I just live in the countryside. Hello Perfect Dayers, I'm Jessica Knappett and you are... welcome to Perfect Day. That's what you are. Welcome. Today's brilliant guest is superstar comedian and all-round glittery, glamorous babe of Anglesey, Kiri Pritchard-McLean. I love Kiri. I've worked with her before. I know her. I think she's so smart and interesting and doing good stuff for the world. And she's really funny and she's also living a really lovely life. And I think she's an inspiration to us all, as you'll see in this episode. We talk about her sensational life, as I said. We talk about ghosts, sure. Swimming in the wild, not wild swimming. Why she can't drink coffee,

we talk about charity shop shopping. And the power of the female collective, of course we do. I get a little bit hippie in this one, as I am wont to do. And I'm not sorry. So here it is. Please enjoy. And thank you for listening. This is Kiri Pritchard-McClain's perfect day. These are documents I'm shredding. I need you to get rid of them very soon. All right then. You look very glam. I'm really pushing... La-may? Are we calling this La-may? It's a day material. Yeah, yeah I know you are. Are you dressed for the stage no no this is

this is just that yeah holy shit hi Carrie hey how you doing I'm good how are you thank you for being here cuz I know you're on tour yes perpetually perpetually it's big talk I finished at this sort of first week in December should I remove my very seasonal earrings? That's something I've been... Is this gonna age it? Although I think ghosts are neutral. Ghosts are an all-year round phenomenon. Ghosts are bones. I genuinely think absolute neutrals. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Have you ever seen a ghost?

Ooh, what a great question. Yes. Well, no, no, I haven't. I haven't seen a ghost. But there's a very weird thing where I was talking about my recently deceased father in a room full of people. This is very boring. I don't know that you want this anecdote. Um, but you saw it. Does it end with you seeing a ghost? Okay, so it ends with it ends with a ghost boot. What? I think we do want the story.

My father built his own garage in Wales, right? And so this original sign is still up. And so I stopped at this garage after a gig and I said, if you get rid of that sign, could I have it? My dad built this garage, I would love to have that. And he died kind of recently. And the guy was like, absolutely. And had this sort of like big sort of like emotional conversation. The next day

I was doing a gig with the same group of comedians and then one of the girls is sort of chatting away and she was like oh my dad even though I live in Cardiff insists that I go to this tiny rubbish garage in Aberystwyth in this tiny village and the guy is known as Dodgy because he's dodgy and I was like where is where is it? And she said, obviously in a village, you won't have heard it's called New Cross. And I was like, is it called Hillcrest? And she was like, I don't know, maybe. And I described it and she went, yeah.

I was like, that's my dad's garage. And it's so weird, this girl that like, it just goes, has to go because her dad insists. And as I said that, there's so many witnesses for this. My boot was on, I'd just come in and like throw my boots down that I was gonna wear on stage, was on the side on a metal kitchen drainage board and one boot stamped on it.

And like everyone turned around and heard it. And I was like, Papa's in the room. Weird, right? That's so weird. It was really weird. And everyone was like, and then like my friend went over and lifted it up, he's like, I don't know how that's happened. Cause like the boots were sat level next to each other then it was

like one went doof like that. Did it fall over? No, it didn't fall over. It got lifted up and lifted back down. Yeah it was like in the same position then it must have been resting on something that you couldn't see and Nick. Yeah a ley line. Resting on my father's ghostly shoulders. Yeah, that's so strange. It was really weird. Yeah, really weird. Did it make you feel kind of nice though? Yeah, I was a bit comforting.

Yeah, I couldn't tell if he was like, leave the sign where it is. Do you know what I mean? Like go to the garage. This is a sign for the sign. Stop stop affiliating with this guy. Leave him alone. Let him have his sign. Did you all go to the did you do did you did make the trip to the garage the

whole gig yeah I was like it's about four hours away let's get in the car let's just go and see if the garage is still there and no but you know what the garage guy runs it said weirdly I'm changing the sign next year we're gonna get rid of it so I will give you a call whoa yeah which is really nice I'll get my dad's sign oh nice right but then I'm gonna have a sign. Whoa! Yeah, which is really nice. I'll get my dad's sign. Aww. Nice, right? But then I'm going to have a sign, sort of a 20 foot long, plastic 1970 sign for a garage. I don't know.

What does it say? Just like, S-O? Hillcrest. It literally just says Hillcrest in sort of the browns, the palette of browns you can only find in the 1970s. Wow, sounds cool. So yeah, a kind of caramel with a brown font. You're quite design forward though, aren't you?

I think you can make this work. What a nice way of saying I think you've got a horrible house. I've never been to your house. No, but we have what's up to the video. Change videos about you. I think you're into mad shit like me. I mean, you show me your house. And I show you and you were like, no, it's not the same.

It's not the same as mine. But it's I did like it. But yours is very sort of like much more simplistic mine's like give me clutter my design aesthetic is you know that bit in the little mermaid where she's got the cave full of gadgets and gadgets mate that's plenty yeah there's eight pocket watches on every surface a couple of forks I do my hair with thing of me bobs I got 20 um. And what about your tour? Is that going well? Are you enjoying it?

Do you like being on tour? Historically, I have found it very hard because for years I was just doing it all myself. And so that is, you know, you drive to the gig for six hours and then you set up. You're more of a driver than a comedian. Yeah. And also sometimes you have to negotiate with technicians who talk to you like a dog that's wandered in off the street and then that's quite hard to then be like, welcome to the show. When you say they talk to you like a dog, like as in like, hey boy, sit.

Not as nice as that, yeah, more like get it out. Why does it smell? So they can be quite tricky, but now I have a tour manager and that makes things a lot nicer. Yeah, that lot nicer. Am I having sex with them? Yes. Is it because it's my partner? Yes. Oh my gosh, thank God. What a reveal. So yes, which is actually nice because it means that, okay, we can have like a little jolly little days out and stuff. That's lovely. Yeah. And also he knows how I like things. And yeah, it's also just nice to have someone

in the room you trust if you're like, was that a weird one? Like what happened in that bit? Or, you know, well, it was a good one, right? So. Yeah, who's your emotional support? Everything. On tour manager, emotional support tour manager.

That I make out sex with me, yes. You know how I like it. Right, Kiri, thank you so much for coming on Perfect Day. I can't wait to hear all about it and I'm gonna ask you about how you like things as well. Love it. Because that is part of it. So Kiri, let's start please if you're ready. Yeah, I'm so ready. What's your perfect morning?

Oh, okay. So I've struggled over this one because part of me was like, do I go for the absolute classic of a lion? Because I love that thing like no pressure, but I feel like I'm going to have that vibe for the rest of the day. So what I want to do is for some reason wake up very early. Oh, yes. Before everyone else else and then I and it's I'm I also want to place this at this kind of autumn you wintery time of year which might be my fave so I maybe I've been woken up by the Sun coming up and yet some really good sunsets where I at Sun rises where I am and sunsets I won't I won't dismiss them totally so Sun sun is rising, I've woken

up so I'll get up before everyone else. I'll take, put my little dog in this little wheelchair and the dog and I would go out and we'd sort of sit in a field and watch the sun come up a bit. Oh wow. Yeah and then I would wander back into the house and about that time my partner would be making breakfast so I sort of missed the admin of the morning and I love it when you like secretly get something under your belt before like 10 a.m. Yeah I know that's comedian hours what I'm talking there but but you talking is it is it that you want that sense of sort of already

winning yeah yeah the whole day is a competition yeah the whole day is a competition against myself but I know exactly what you mean, that feeling of like, if I get up first, then I've already nailed it. So whatever happens from now on is a bonus I've already won. Yeah, because also I can walk in and go, I've just walked the dog and be like, go on. And that's now the balls in your court to do something for the household. How often do you get up early? Are you an early riser? I definitely get up earlier than my partner. I think he struggles with mornings, but no, I would say I'm not someone

who's like at that point where, you know, like you get up like the elderly, where you're like 5am, she's up, she's out. Yeah, I've had three hours sleep and that's plenty, thank you. Bing bong. But so if you love sunrises so much, are you getting up and watching the sunrises on the regular? And Windsor, sure. Yeah, because it's 10. I can do that. But that just bit where it's quiet and all of this, by the way, is set in and around my house. Like my perfect day is where I live on the island I live on. And sometimes the fog is coming off the land as it's warming up and it's kind of and you can still smell like smoke from people's fires overnight. It's

very idyllic and very I'll be honest I'm living in a jigsaw Jess. Are you? Living in a jigsaw is my Christmas single. But that feeling of like peace and everything's getting going and I don't won't really hear a commute because we're quite far away from stuff so that moment to just be like it's gonna be a nice day it's lovely. Okay so and then what next what's the what's the rest of the morning shaping up to be? Absolutely slam a breakfast back no caffeine for me and not not one of those people never ever never ever. Not even on your perfect morning. No yeah well the last time I think I tried to last had a sip of coffee

mmm eight years ago maybe more actually maybe more maybe nearly ten. What happened? I stamped on the floor in disgust because it's so full on I don't quite know how you guys manage it. What do you mean it's full on. I don't quite know how you guys manage it. What do you mean? It's full on. Well, it's just like taste. Yeah, it like is it hits you synoptically in places that other stuff can't in a really violating way. Wow, you're so sensitive to it, aren't you? Because I don't obviously don't get that feeling from it. Really? Yeah, because I drink about 10 of them a day. Well, not 10, but a lot. Like I definitely, I enjoy that first, the first buzz, but then I'll just keep it going.

There's something about it, like, why does it need to be boiling? Like, you know, just like the temperature, the cup is always so hot. I just didn't like the smell of it. And also, you don't even know guys, it smells of poo. Like wants to tell you but coffee smells of poo smells of poo. Well it smells of coffee. No but then also I think maybe this is part of from my ex-partner would always have a coffee and immediately have a poo so the two smells in my mind is sort of completely a mesh. But I'm gonna say that I think that that's a specific connection that you've made in your brain I wouldn't say that all coffee smells like poo. Can I follow up with my second piece of evidence? There was a time

when part of our house was being sort of renovated and we were having to sleep on a mattress on the floor in the spare room. My partner was having a coffee, the cat came over to it, sniffed it and you know when they bury their own poo, you know when they started to do that with a duvet was like oh geez Louise and could clearly smell the coffee smell of shit I think it hits the same notes. No. Yes. Of course.

This is not a thing. It is right. We're gonna have to get an expert but I don't know who's niche set of circumstances that is but I'm sure it's. We need a yeah we need What's a scent expert called? Jeremy Fragrance. Are you across him? No, I'm not across Jeremy Fragrance. Okay, well part of my perfect day will be explaining what Jeremy Fragrance is to you.

Right, well let's have it then. Let's make your dreams come true. So he is... Wow. He's a Fragrance expert and I would say... I mean, I don't want to libel anyone but... People often imply that he's on cocaine but he's like, I mean, I don't want to libel anyone, but people often imply that he's on cocaine, but he's like, I just love life in a very aggressive way. And but he can sort of like he's very into scents and, and he started off kind of normal and suave and now he's just deeply, deeply mad dressed in white nearly the whole time. Yeah, I think you'd really enjoy it. Jeremy fragrance would be able to, I think he's going to be able to differentiate this

between the smells of shit and coffee. You cannot do. But never mind. I like I can tell the difference. I'm not like, oh, this is this poo flavored roses. Does anyone want to drink this cup of shit? I'm just telling you you can't smell it because you're too accustomed to it. The notes are similar. Yeah, you're nose-blind Oh my god, ironically, you need to smell some coffee beans then you could smell shit again Okay, so what else happens on your perfect morning? So yeah, we're having a really good breakfast But the kind of breakfast where I'm not like I'm not weighed down. It's not gonna take too much time. So yeah, we're having a really good breakfast, but the kind of breakfast where I'm not like, I'm not weighed down, it's not going to take too much time. So thinking a delicious vegan version of a sort of bacon sandwich,

that's where I am. Really? Vegan bacon? There's some good vegan bacons out there. Faken? Yeah, yeah. There's a brand called This and the non streaky, don't go for the streaky, we've all made that mistake. The OG bacon is absolutely fantastic. Oh, this is lovely. Has your partner made you this sandwich? Yeah, I don't really like to do the cooking in the household. Do you not ever do that? No, I used to be a chef when I was younger and it's really put a nail in the coffin

of any enjoyment of cooking. What kind of chef were you? Where? On the seaside. So, I would principally stand over a fryer. Seaside chef? Yes, you know, on the seaside chefs. I still can't be true to what it is.

Not formally trained. Obviously, I'm from like a hospitality place, you know, there's a lot of tourism on our island. So, I worked in a little cafe right on the beach. Sounds lovely. Yeah, but then when you're doing like, it was like an old converted cottage and it had like maybe 15 tables and we would do like 300 covers a night in summer. It was nuts. So did it put you off cooking then?

Yeah, yeah, doing it industrially really puts, takes the shine off it. I just get no joy from it. And he's really good at it. So it's like I can hate, hate it and then find all the things wrong in the thing I've made or I can let him cook for me and have a nice meal. Lovely. So fake and, fake and sandwich cooked for by your partner. Garlic mayo and, and lettuce.

So that's good because I can have it in my hand and be walking around doing things because I love a potter. Do you? Okay, so are we pottering for the rest of the morning? No, no, but I'm going to prep some potting. So I'm going to basically clean out the fire from the night before, get the fire prepped. Oh, cinders. Yes. My, that's my, I would say that's my, my area in the home. I hate hearth making. Really? I dislike hearth making and I like building the fire, but I don't like getting rid of

the, I don't like getting all the ash out. You're telling me you enjoy, you could have been, what's the, back in the Victorian era it was a whole job, wasn't it? Skullery made. You could have been a skullery made, Kelly. Thank you so much. This is like a very low budget. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you could have been in the Victorian era? But you are doing this on your perfect morning.

Yeah. You're attending to the... Prepping it, yeah. So I've got a a little wood burner so just clear everything out for the night before And you know, I've got I've got a thing for the ashes right next to it It's no big stress as long as it's not full and we should do and then I love prepping it ready and making sure I've got Enough wood for tonight and things. So do you build the fire before you light it? So you do in the morning that is such a Victorian thing to do. Is it? Well, just like you're prepping the fire before you, yeah, it just, it feels

like a nice like ritual. Also make this is very embarrassing. I make my own fire lighters guys. From lint, from the, from the tumble dryer. No, I don't have a tumble dryer because they're bad for the world. Yeah, but fires are fine. Burning wood, we're all right with that. It is because I use the wood from my land. That actually is fine. It's meant to be, and I make sure it's dried and make sure it's not green wood. Like I really try and be, because I'm anxious about the planet burning. So what I do is this is from, and I bet you know this person, do you know Nancy Berthwhistle? No, I don't know Nancy Berthwhistle. She won Bake Off. I've never watched Bake Off. But unless you want to book

me for extra slicing, which I guess I'll watch it every goddamn day. We'll both watch that. We're fine with that. We'll present it. So she is a previous winner and she's amazing and she strikes me as someone from Yorkshire, as in her accent. But I don't want to be offensive in Tudor Lancashire. What does her accent sound like, Kir but I don't want to be offensive and just remind Kasia. What does her accent sound like, Kiri? Yours. There we go. So she gave this tip for these zero waste firelighters. You get an egg box. Yes.

Yeah. And then you put... do you know about this? I know about the egg... I know about egg boxes for firelighters. Okay, alright. Right, show off. But I would put lint in mine, but I'm curious about what you're putting in yours. Okay. Honestly, it gets rid of so many of the things I need to get rid of. Egg boxes, because I've got rescue chickens, I give people eggs, people are always giving me egg boxes, because what they're saying is, fill this and give it back.

So I've got egg boxes, I've got shredded important documents. Oh, lovely. You can always use a pine cone. She's also recommended that but I don't want to waste my pine cones. So you fill it up with shredded paper and all the cups. Oh my god. Then you take the, you know the little bit in candles that's left over? The wick? No, you know like there's always a residue. A bit of wax, a bit of waxy stuff. So you like melt that. I just put it on top of my wood burner and then you pour it on it so they become solid and then you basically break apart the little compartments then you wrap them in paper and twist them

at the end and that is a natural firelight and they'll burn on their own for like 10 minutes and it's also all zero waste stuff. Oh, for. Making those is my absolute happy place. Is that in your perfect morning then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making the firelighters. Bang out some of those.

So you've. I've done it the night before and I'm just twisting the paper today. Oh, right, so you're not even... Yeah, okay, great. And I live in the countryside, so everyone who comes round to my house, I'm like, do you need some firelighters? And I do, I just give them away. Come over here.

Come here, kid, I've got something to show you. I know, it looks like an egg box. These are documents I'm shredding. I need you to get rid of them very soon. Those are for you, and those are for you. Different houses, different and different fireplaces. No one's going to see the evidence. Just a series of paternity tests spread around the island of Anglesey. What's next on your perfect morning or is that it? I mean, that could be it. I could have peaked at the firelight. It's so dull. Then it's going to be, I would like to set this on a Sunday, so, which means we have

to get out of the house quite soon because the next part of the day is going round a little local town with a couple of absolutely banging charity shops. Bang, getting out before the charity shops have shut at whatever whim that menopausal woman running it has decided to. Like, are we shot at 2.15 today? You're like, oh yeah, that sounds a fish. So get out, have a little wander around sort of nice little seaside town that's got some lovely chazzes.

Really. What are you hoping to find? Is it homeware? Is it clothes? Is it, or is it nothing at all? You just windowed. Is it just a browse? No, I do want to come back with some stuff. Yeah. I've learned in my time, the most joyous

charity shopping experiences is not to go in expecting anything and to allow yourself to be surprised. Yeah. Cause if you're like, I'll get some new jeans, you're not going to feel sad. No, you're not well. No, that's a nightmare anyway. Jeans shopping, that's like a special kind of hell. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's foraging really, isn't it? Thrifting. It's exactly that. Yeah. And if you have like a loose list in mind of the things that you want, you probably will find one of them. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right that you can, even if it just means you're more likely to look in the right areas. So what am I always

on the, on the, I try what I love. Because you're big on second hand and check, yeah, you're, do you ever buy anything new or just from new businesses that like eco? I haven't bought anything, maybe I bought some stage wear this year, but I haven't bought anything for myself this year so far that's new to the world. Because that's my, I tried to do it for like eight months and then I'm trying to sneak up to 11 months. So at least at Christmas I can buy.

But all I am doing, I'll be honest, is sending the link to the new thing that I want to the WhatsApp group I've called Presents That You Can Get Me to my partner. So just really streamlines the process and I can be like, I haven't bought anything new this year. I've made him buy it all. Yeah, I've given it to someone else to buy for me at LA Today.

Yeah. So what would I really want? Well, I'm perpetually looking for jeans. And let me tell you, I absolutely love a plastic box meant for storage with loads of jeans. And it just says pound jeans on the front. That's how I get my jeans. Yeah. And then eventually, not even eventually, I'll chub rub through them. I got myself some shorts, guys. Just cut them off where the thighs naturally, Chae. It's a perfect fit for a hot pant.

Like, are you talented at this sort of thing? Can you sew a bit and stuff like that? I've definitely, I wish I was better at that stuff. I've definitely cut it so it's like, well, this is just a way of displaying my labia very efficiently. And I've got a couple of those already. So, but I find genuinely the chub rub hits the exact right cut. So like, you know, where it rubs through naturally. Well, that's the line that like, where you want the short to end. Perfect. Yeah. So you don't need to mark it. Nature's tailor's chalk. My thigh width. Amazing. So what else? Is there any more to add to your perfect morning? So yeah, we go around the trade shops and then I think that the little town I'm imagining

is Bumaris and maybe because we haven't gone mad on breakfast, I'm gonna go to the chippy, I'm gonna get a scallop. A scallop from the chippy? Yeah, but not the fish kind, not the fish kind, right? You know that... No, I don't know that there's another scallop. So other scallops are, depending on where you live, occasionally it's mashed potato,

but generally it's very thin slices of potato, almost like dough from moi, dipped in batter, they're sort of shaped like this, and then dropped and fried. And so it's like... Triple fried potato. Yeah, it's battered potato slices. And they're so good. And back in the day, they'd be like 20p a go. And that, I mean, it's Thatcher's Britain in looking at we're looking at between 60 and 80 if it's ever a quid they can actually go and fuck themselves but for one for one but they're quite they are sizable yeah and there's there's been some some labor has gone into that

actually listen I'm not denying the workload but but I also think that like it is just bits of potato that you can't use so yeah but they're really nice and they're great to just hold in your hand and walk around. So I do that in a little wonder on the beach. Absolutely amazing idea. I've never heard. Is that a specific to Wales thing? No, I don't think it is. I've seen them in other towns, but it's one of those things where like, oh, they do scallops. Like it's exciting to see it in a chippy. God, it sounds great. I really want a scallop scallop scallop. It's spelt the same, yeah. So does mine.

Yeah. You'd be understood either way. I think so. And then, and more pottering around your town? What's happening next? I think go home and dump the stuff from the charity shop. Yeah. I just don't want it weighing heavy on me during the day,

unless it's something that I'm like excited about and I'm like, what? I've got a new hat on, have I guys? I forgot to mention it, you know? So, cause then I'm going to get my stuff, cause then I'm going to leave my partner at home, cause I have a lovely morning with him. We'll be laughing all morning, smashing down the battered potato and then I'm going to leave him at home. I'm going to jump in the car and I'm going to go meet my lovely girls. We sort of touched on it a little bit, but I'm interested in what your normal morning might be.

I'd say a typical morning is the cat hasn't been put out which means that at six o'clock in the morning he will come and scrape a soft furnishing by my head knowing for a while that I don't want him to destroy the bed. So I'll be up and out somewhere between five and six and then I'll go and let out somewhere between five and six. And then I'll go and let him out somewhere in the house. Then I'll be like, well, this is hell. And then I won't be able to get back to sleep for a while. So I'll doom scroll. Then I will go back to sleep.

Have you thought about a cat flap? Weirdly, not until you just said no. I was like, why don't we have a cat flap? Yeah, why don't we have a cat flap? And then you don't have to get up every morning at 5 a.m Well, I just like how we can't have a cat flap. You'd have to install one in your old Yeah, I've got like an oak door on one thing and then I've got like I'm gonna get there in place But like big like French doors and also I've got chickens that are trying to come in the house and they are cat flap size And they will figure it out and they are desperate to get in the house at every point.

Oh my god, needy little chickens. Yeah. They're not needy, they just want food. No, they just love being in it. They're like real social butterflies, they just love being in the kitchen, especially if there's a group of people, they're like, what are we talking about? They just love being in the middle of it. They're like a goss.

Yeah, they love it, they love it. Who's your favourite chicken? It's got to be limpy guys. Limpy? It's got to be of it. You're like a goss. Yeah, they love it, they love it. Who's your favourite chicken? It's got to be Limpy, guys. Limpy? It's got to be Limpy. The rescue cage ten, who's got a permanent limp from being a cage ten, but she's absolutely delightful.

She's lovely. She falls asleep in your arms if you stroke her. Yeah. And when you say you have a little chat to her, is she talking back? No, I'm not mentally ill, Jess. I just live in the countryside. I appreciate it's easy to swap out. Such a nice image. Yeah, and then, do you know what I'm really bad for? Breakfast. I love breakfast, but

I just like, it always feels like we never have the stuff in for it unless we've got people over. Yeah, so you just suck it off. Yeah, and then it's very common for me to get to like four and be like, I forgot to eat today. Yeah, like a thin woman might, but she's lying and I'm serious. You know, when people are like, oh God, I forgot to eat today. And I'm like, I could never understand that. But it happens so frequently, I think, because when you pack a lot into days and you don't allow time to eat. Yeah, I don't do that. But well, yeah, I do. I do. If yeah, if you're back to back with

something but if I'm on my own, I'm on my own schedule, I'm getting three meals, four, maybe five meals in a day. I've been on an all time high today because I so I went and did this podcast record from nine. So you're probably there like half eight. Then I went straight into another one that was finished at half 10. What you've done. This is your third podcast of the day. Yeah half eight then I went straight into another one that was finished at half ten. What? You've done this is your third podcast of the day? Yeah and then I feel special and then I had it. Yeah but the other ones are my ones contractual obligations. Oh okay so did you do which ones? All killer? No. The clothes one?

Yeah you've got so many. Well fielded. I hosted like the comedy strand on BBC Radio Wales. Oh that one yes. So I had to Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, because otherwise I was like I'll forget to eat otherwise so. What are you doing for Comic Relief? Absolutely fucking nothing hence the meeting. Where's my call for Comic Relief? Can I tell you my Comic Relief story? I love them, I'm obsessed with them. I love Comic Relief but it was always my dream to be on Comic Relief and it's like it's getting, it hasn't happened yet, why? What do we have to do? Listen if I knew I'd have made it happen for myself, but years ago I got a call where they said, would you come and we want really what used to be in like the comic relief family, would you come and do this thing? And I was meant to be MC in the comedy store and

So there is a comic relief family. There is a comic relief family. It's the Cursuses. You heard of the Freud's. So I messaged. So I said, listen, I know this is really late, but I really want to do this comic relief thing. And they were like, go, absolutely fine. Go and do it. And they're really nice. So that was like a paid gig. And obviously comic relief isn't, and I'm very fine with that. But I was like, I did kind of need money, but I was like, great, I'll be in the comic relief family. This is all I want. Lenny Henry

will be my dad. And then I went there and then it was like, this is really funny, this celebrity phone bank. And so you're all sat there answering phones, people calling up and saying, yeah, I'd like to donate a fiver or whatever. That is some of the wildest interactions I've ever had. Cause you're sat there next to someone from Dancing on Ice and then Nick Helmers, the other side, and he answered a call and he was like looking quite tearful after us I said are you okay and he was like yeah it was my school bully I was like what? He was like yeah you just phoned me up to say how proud everyone was of me. But also what we largely do is this they go hello you're through to Comic Relief, Kiri Pritchard-McLean speaking. I'm a comedian. Yeah. From Wales. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, went in mad and someone said I will pay you a thousand pounds. I was like

sat next to for a while because they keep changing you out. Louisa, Louisa the brilliant comic sat next to me and they said they said if you can get me on the phone to Basil Brush, it was on the back row and for practical reasons if you can get me Basil Brush I'll give a thousand pounds. So I had to like stretch this phone up so she could he could go boom boom and then it was a grand that easy. So you have made it. And you know what afterwards I got given a Jo Malone candle which I still haven't burned because it's probably the thing in my house worth the most. I guess I just hand this down the generations now. Well you should burn it and then

when you get to the end, all your tinder will smell of Jo Malone. Yeah, lovely. That's going to be fancy. Really good. Good stuff. Shall we move on to your perfect afternoon? Yes, yes.

What's your perfect afternoon? Right. Okay. So it's female heavy. So I've got a little bit of a Good stuff. Shall we move on to your perfect afternoon? Yes, yes. What's your perfect afternoon? Right, okay, so it's female heavy. So I've got a group of lovely women who are so restorative and we get in water quite a lot. One of my friends really explicitly hates the phrase wild swimming. She's like, it's just swimming. It's just swimming. So we get in water quite a lot together. So I would go and we do all year round as well

We're doing like January in these lakes with Arctic char at the bottom of them How long are you going in for there in January? It's not long like 20 minutes or something, but that's it It's like it's the ritual of being in there having a chat And then when you start to kind of not when you start to feel warm and because that's hypothermia, but when you sort of acclimatise. When you start to feel sane. Taking all my clothes off actually, can't get the air. That is really lovely and just to be there and then they're all amazing women and one of them is a really good baker, so she'll usually bring a cake and one of them is just like a general amazing foodie

so she's like I've brought some hot chocolate with chili in and then on a thermos and then we'll sit on the side of the bank and just talk as well and I just feel like I don't need I do a lot but like I don't need long at home to like charge my batteries and just like an hour with them I'll be like I can I can carry on for three weeks without any break because I just find them amazing and they're just a fantastic group of women around me and they're just so fun and funny and thoughtful. They're great advice They often want advice and that is my perfect day giving people advice Oh, I live for it. Oh my god, you're so good at this. I'm like I am good at this I think I'm terrible, But I just like hearing myself talk. I give a lot of advice too, but it annoys me when people don't take it

Oh, well, there's some people that you know when you're like, well, you're making this waste my time. Yeah. Yeah exactly But I do not my day is can you can see them nodding along like they're actually gonna do it as well Yeah, but you use that an important component to you or is that just me? No, I want them to be looking and I want to see the penny dropping. I don't want them even to have eye contact with me. I want I want them to be having a profound experience at my feet. Yeah. So that works well. But I won't now I will now no longer waste time on people.

I think we'll repeatedly ask for advice on the same thing over and over again. So those those people are just they're no good to me. They're not coming swimming with you. just, they're no good to me. But they're not coming swimming with you. Yeah, they're not coming swimming, they're not being invited. How important is that sort of female or feminine space for you? Like what would happen if one of them was like, oh, I brought my husband and... What a fucking violation. What a violation. That is like, I've got one friend who's done

that a few times and And now I think I can openly say because she's admitting it her husband's annoying And so it's like I think so I've got this weird double standard Well, like my partner is the one that everyone looks forward to seeing in the relationship And I've had to make peace with the fact that like when my dad was literally in a hospital Dying like I walked in to see it was like a surprise and he was immediately like, have you not brought him with you? And I was like, no, I brought your only daughter instead if that's all right. But like people are so delighted to see him. So I've got this weird thing where I'm like, well, it's obviously fine if I would ever bring my partner because

he's a good thing. But he also understands, he's like, no, this is your space. The people who bring their partner, so always the ones with the most annoying men, with the least to offer the conversation and be like, are you going to make, are you going to say while you're down there while I pick my towel up? Do you know what I mean? Like it just really sort of zero men. Yeah. But so if it was the right kind of men, would they be allowed or is it, is it a sacred space? No, I think actually I just want to be with women.

Yeah. Cause I think that there's something in that and it's quite, it's just, it's quite hard to explain. Yeah, but isn't it the same that like, and I know I'm being quite sort of like basic binary here, but like if my fellow is going to like, he doesn't like these things, but football with his lad mates, and he's like, Kiri's here, they might be like, oh, she's all right, laugh, but that's not really what we agreed to, is it? Do you want me to like, Kiri's here, they might be like, oh she's a right laugh but that's not really what we agreed to is it? Do you want me like, people need their space I think. Yeah. And I love being in water with women. Giving them advice. Yeah. Dolling out advice. But you love nature and you love swimming in the cold waters of Wales. What a beautiful

thing that was supposed to be so good for you. I mean the UK as a whole is amazing but like I feel especially lucky and very nourished to be on that soil in that place. Gorgeous. So, is this too hippie? No, it's my fault. I like a little bit of hippie and I think the listeners are starting to notice that. So what happens next on your perfect afternoon? Still quite watery, still quite watery. I would head over, then I would pick up some more mates, about eight of us, because again there's this little tiny, it's like a porter cabin on the different coast and it's got a sauna in it and then you go in the sauna and then you run over a sand dune and you run into the sea. Oh, yes, I did this recently. It's so good. It's so good. I felt euphoric. The last few times I've

done it, I was like, oh, I guess this is why people do drugs. Because I honestly felt so, I felt like lighter in a way that's probably dipping into mania, but it's so lovely. And you can just like, oh, it's so good that feeling of being warm, but you know you can escape at any point and it's got like a little viewing thing where you can see an old druid sort of burial chamber and like when the wind's blowing it's such it's even in bad weather it's still lovely to be in the water or be in the sauna so that's what I do because then I'm working up a hunger here. That's what I do. Yes. We'd go to a nice pub and have a roast dinner. Yeah, roast dinner. We've been for a swim and then we

went for the sauna and then the sweat and so like I'd be ravenous by this point. So is it like a veggie nut, like a nut roast? I mean if it's a perfect day there'd be meat in there sure. I'm a reluctant vegan. Oh really? Yeah I am. You're just taking one for the team, the team being the world. Yeah. Who's having the pub roast with you? Everyone who was in the sauna because we're all sort of like, oh the girls from the water have also come to the sauna and then we've, that's where maybe the, I was going to say the wags but the bags the bars the bars why has no one done this I don't know let's get t-shirts the bars have sort of arrived they're allowed then so you know there's some there's some good crack going on yeah but not the annoying ones

yeah not the annoying ones obviously and so because I have spent the whole swim convincing them to leave them yeah that's the's the advice. Giving the advice. So often my advice is I think you should just go your separate ways. I love it. I love love breaking up a relationship. Do you actually? Yeah. Have you done that?

Have you done that success? A lot, a lot, a lot. But also I would say like only ones that like it's obvious to everyone. I've got the nads to say it and people will take it from me. It takes courage though, doesn't it? The first one does and after that you're like, that's moreish. That's moreish as hell. I don't mean to give advice, I mean to actually leave. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're right, I am brave. I'm so brave for telling them to leave their partners. Well the first one does take co-shares. I mean you can get into some serious trouble with that.

It's really bold. The ones who go back and you're like you motherfucker. If they don't do it I mean I do. I know of this. I know of this and it's gone very badly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially when they go, I am going to leave and you're like great. I never liked them anyway. And then they go back and then they tell the partner and you're like, well now I'm going to have to sort of negotiate. Like I never liked you but you were too thick to realize and now you don't like me and I don't like that feeling. No you can't come to my roast. Okay so shall we press on with your perfect evening?

Yeah I'd love that. Me and my sketch group will all be together. And we've got a projector set up. Hang on, is this your old sketch group? No. So it's Tarot. Tarot, yeah. So that's Adam, Drake who was in Goose, and then Ed who was in Gaines and Kath who's in Gaines and Ben who is the offstage member of Goose. So that's my little gang. And we have a set up at our house where we have a projector and a sound system print

of Loover Karaoke. But what's been really nice recently is it's getting colder and creepier is you put a horror film on out there and you cutch up and we bring the dog out and the cat will be like, I'm not interested, but then we'll come and join us. And we'll bring the dog out and the cat will be like, I'm not interested, but then we'll come and join us and we'll watch a horror film at night as you can hear sort of like things moving around you in the darkness of the countryside and the barn creaking and stuff like that. And even the most lackluster horror film will seem creepy in those circumstances. And so yeah, good old horror film, loads of snacks, some kind of delicious booze that's warming, either in terms of like actual mulled wine, live for the stuff. Yeah, really enjoy it, really enjoy making it. That is something that like, you know when they say if you want to sell a house, bake

some bread, mulled wine, if I walked into a house and it's mulled wine, I'd be like, yes, please. You do know it smells like shit. I put Chile in mine, but each to their own. Oh my God. Yeah, I love, I love a mulled wine. I do love it. So good, isn't it? Some people, some people really don't like that term, that sort of like cinnamony. There's a lot of people that have a, have a genuine aversion to all that. Yes. Well, I, that is the smell of candle I burn all year round. Oh right well. Because fair play to them, Home Bargain just changed the sticker on the front of the jar.

They're like it's hot cross bun, you're like it's Christmas. But I love it because also it makes the house feel two degrees warmer. I think if you can smell cinnamon you're like oh what a cosy house even though I can see my own breath. Oh you haven't lit the fire yet. No, no, well this is it. So I can, I think we get the snacks, we go out there, I start the fire. I'll say well enough, they'll tick over for, I would say maybe an hour, but I

love to get up during a film. I love to get up and do other stuff. It's a real toxic trait of mine that as a result, my partners refused to. Is that allowed? Has he refused to watch films with you? Well, I'm like, every Christmas we try and do a different series so we did like all the Harry Potter's, you know, that kind of thing. Nice. And I was like, I've never seen Star Wars and you love it. And I was like, we could do that. And he's like, no. And I was like, why? And he's like, because you can't watch

films properly and it will hurt my feelings if you don't watch Star Wars properly so we can't watch Star Wars but everything else he's very sort of patient with me. Just not Star Wars because it's too precious. It's too precious which is why we only really watch quite shit films in our house because like you want a film that you can dip in and out of. Yeah. You know we're only on this earth for one brief beautiful short life. It's just a moment. And I watched Men in Black, the newest one. I know my time. I've mentioned many times my time is limited.

I chose to watch the latest Men in Black with Liam Neeson. So how much of your perfect day do you think you do live? Like how often do you have your perfect day or elements of it? Sounds like a lot actually, the swimming and the roasts presumably, the fire, we already know about the fire at 10 to half. The fire, listen, as soon as I'm home. I'm home, I would say at the moment, like proper time maybe like once a week max. So I will squeeze in like, all right alright let's watch a crap film and let's do fire

and all that kind of stuff. So that stuff. And then if I'm home for a little bit longer I'll be like, girls we've got time to go swimming and things like that. So I will try and squeeze in as frequently as I can. But having like a whole expansive day where other people are free, there's also logistics to it right? It's not that. But that is why I feel really lucky and there's no chance I would move to anywhere that is anywhere other than I live because I do get it a lot. I get my perfect day a lot. Oh, great. I'm so happy to hear that. And just at the end, we'd have we do karaoke on the screen as well. Oh, what? We didn't finish? No sorry I thought we did the

we did the scary film and then we lit the fire. It lit the fire but then the house is warm and then you switch to karaoke in the house. What are you singing on karaoke? Oh god who's that some of my favorite people so me and me my best best mate Faith we do Jackson she uh she did uh the duet no no no that's five no Janet Jackson Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash oh so do that okay probably I love a duet I just feel like it's a real connection um yeah and then I love singing like love is an open door with my partner very fun yeah yeah and then probably some kind of Spice Girls medley with the girls. Fantastic. Heaven. Heaven, right?

We've got one little bonus question that we're trying at the moment, which is just to try and get a recommendation out of people for something that they're enjoying this week. Like it could be some content or a place or a thing. So the question is, if you need a bit of time, let us know, what's a piece of perfection you'd recommend this week? It doesn't have to be perfect but it could just be something that's making your life a bit more perfect. Oh really nice. Yeah, a TV show or another podcast.

Okay interesting. Well, it's a song. It's the National Trust. I absolutely love a Nazi tea. Yeah, yeah. It's so good. It's so good. I'm a Nazi. I'm a Nazi tea. Well, because also the thing that happened to me when I first had a crawling baby was that we were living in London and you take a crawling baby to a park and they will eat all of the fag butts and worse and like you can't really put you actually genuinely can't put a crawling baby in a London park so I was like on the hunt

It's like a Smiths song so we were looking for manicured lawns. We were like manicured lawns only. Yeah. And nutty tea all the way. I love it. I love the gift shops. I love a scone. I love gift shops. Oh my god. Sometimes you're like, the other day I was in York, my partner, we went to this gallery and no, it was a museum. And by the bit we enter the museum, the gift shop

was there and I was like, well, I don't have to shop was there and I was like, well I don't have to walk around it. But like I love the gift shop, I never leave empty handed, never leave empty handed. Love the scones, they've got pretty good vegan range now at National Trust and I love that they are being really great and like progressive about how they show how so many of these buildings came to exist that they're not being like for nebulous reasons that they're like very bad guy, very bad guy had this house and now we look after it but here's all the bad things that he did. It's great. I love it. Oh, Kiri, this has been so joyful. Thank you so much for having us on. What? Yeah. Thank you so much for having us on. What? Thank you so much for coming on

Perfect Day. Thank you for having me. Come and stay. There's room for everyone. There she is. Wasn't that so magical? And I'm pretty sure she just invited us all round to hers, so I'll bring them old wine. Doesn't it just make you want to live Kiri's life apart from the chickens and the not drinking coffee? I think she's just absolutely nailing it. Thanks so much to Kiri for coming on and speaking to us. And remember, she's on tour until the end of December and you can get tickets to see her at kiriprichardmclean.co.uk. Coming up next week, just a bit, we have the sensational, oh yeah, that's right, Brett Goldstein. So

make sure to like and subscribe and leave us a review and follow us on at Perfect Daycast for all your perfect day news. From Yorkshire with love, I'm Jessica Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to listen to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it.

Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like what did you do yesterday? Like I'm just I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time I'm gonna try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday?

That's too much, isn't it? That's over the top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday. Mum? What is it? Are we there yet? Hello there, it's me, Harry Hill, with some exciting news. I've got a brand new podcast.

It's called Are We There Yet? and is the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from A to B. Join me, my son Gary. Hello! Sarah the AI bot. Hello, Harry. As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons. Is it on now, of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons.

Is it on now, Daddy? Yes, Gary, it is. Are we there? Yet. Hello, I'm Tim Reed. You probably don't know me as the creator and writer of sitcoms like Peter Kay's Car Share and Meet the Richardson's, because I write shows with other people's names in the title. Not anymore. Welcome to my new podcast, Fist of Firsts with Tim Reed.

In Fist of Firsts, I'll be chatting to the biggest names in comedy about the pivotal first steps in their careers and their creative process. Fist of Firsts with me, Tim Reed. Find it wherever you get your pods.