Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP20: Cariad Lloyd

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Comedian and actress Cariad Lloyd joins Jess Knappett on the podcast this week to talk about her perfect day. The pair delve into Cariad’s love of dancing, fancy home cooking, lie-ins, their mutual love of Red Dwarf, outdoor swims and they have a very interesting chat about ADHD. Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast. And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connexontario.ca. All right then. I look good in hats. I'm a great fucking dancer. Hello, perfect dance. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer.

I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer.

I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer. I'm a great fucking dancer and I'm a great fucking dancer. Hello Perfect Dayers, I'm Jessica Knappett and you are a catch. Don't let them tell you any different. Today's brilliant guest is author, podcaster, improviser, comedian, extraordinary woman, Cariad Lloyd. Bloody love Cariad. And she's so many things, and she does so much. And she's so lovely, and so funny. And in this episode we discover something important, which is that Cariad is the world's best dancer. I mean, she did refuse to dance for me,

but I can't vouch for it, but I do believe her. We talk about fancy home cooking, we talk about lions, we have a very interesting chat about ADHD, which maybe I would say probably the most impressive metaphor ever adopted and it stayed with me. And we also discuss our mutual love of the 90s sitcom Red Dwarf. Just a bit. Outdoor swims were discussed. And the aforementioned dancing. We also talk about how she managed to write a whole book when she has two children and a phone to distract her. What a woman! Shall we get cracking? Let's have Kerry Adloyd's perfect day.

And then at the bottom of the rung is the improvisers because we welcome everybody. All right then. I've got quite a funny Red Dwarf related story. Oh my god, this is rare because I'm normally here with Pascoe going, stop talking about your sad, pathetic comedy. So this isn't about me actually, and I've already ruined the story because I'll have to just tell the short version. But basically my brother had a stash of porn under his bed in a tartan cardboard box, tartan shoe box, and wouldn't let his girlfriend go in.

Right, yeah. Basically he was like, just don't go in the box. Don't look in the drawer. Don't look in the drawer. Don't look in the drawer. And then one day she, she like went in the box and it wasn't porn. It was all of his red dwarf videos, including the smeg outs. I was going to say, and the smeg ups, yeah. The special edition smeg ups where you could see how the models fell over.

Wow. It was so good. And then what, what was mad was I can't remember why. Oh, I was on the way to like, it must have been, where did they film Red Dwarf? Teddington or somewhere like that. And I got in a cab to Teddington and the taxi driver told me that story of, and he said, oh, guys, so funny, I had this girl in the cab the other day.

And it was obviously my brother's girlfriend, why? Now wife had told the taxi driver, and then the taxi driver told it back to me. That's so weird. I know. It followed you. It's so weird. How those stories How do you feel like the universe was being fucked up? I'd be like, what's happening? I live on the Truman Show. Like, yeah, I mean,

you want my reaction to what's happening. Exactly. Oh, I had an idea. The other my other Red Dwarf story is because you've you been in Red Dwarf? No, the new series? No, no. So when it came out, love to when the new Red Dwarf came out, I told everyone so that it got back to them that I loved Red Dwarf and I wanted to be in it and I made that abundantly clear and then one day I got the email, we'd like to offer Jessica Knuppet a part in Red Dwarf. Fuck. And I like lost my mind. Yeah. And I was like, I was literally dancing around the house.

I was phoning everybody I knew. I was like, obviously texting my brother. I was like, this is fucking insane. And then, and I went back into my emails to reread it again and another email popped in. It was like, oh, actually, I'm so sorry. We've made a mistake. The mask won't fit her. We've mistake. The mask won't fit her.

We've just realized the mask won't fit her. What mask are they gonna put on you? So for a start, I would have been just wearing a mask. Yeah, so it could have been anybody. It could have been anybody. Oh my God. And then what is it about the mask that won't fit me? Yeah, well, it's, who will it fit?

Who will it fit? You've got a normal-sized face, so who is it gonna fit? Normal-sized nose, though. I wonder if they were like normal-sized face, so who is it going to fit? I wonder if they were like in profile. No, actually, forget it. You can not even try it on. Normally they try things on and go, oh, okay, we're going to need to adjust here. Well, we've gone straight in listeners with a chat about Red Dwarf. What we've discovered is that Carrie Ed Lloyd and deny both obsessed with the red

Do you have few of us there are well? No, there are loads of us. But especially I say women in comedy I don't normally have this conversation like normally I say do you like red dwarf and it's like embarrassed afraid way But you know, is the woman in comedy goes I remember it and I go yeah. Yeah me. Yeah, I just remember it vaguely, too Yeah, yeah, I didn't buy this I just remember it vaguely too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't buy this outfit because I thought I looked like Kachansky. Because you said, but you said to me, I bought it. You knew that I knew. There was something. No, no, no, I didn't.

I was afraid. I was afraid that you were back. Yeah, because I'll take the gamble because I want, if you do know, you know exactly what I'm doing. You know I'm talking about Kachansky, but if I don't and I do Weirdos book podcast with Sarah Pascoe. Nice plug. That was really smooth actually, Cari. It was completely unnoticeable. With Sarah Pascoe, who hates anything sci-fi, fantasy, hasn't watched anything.

So anytime I bring it up quite a lot on my podcast and she's always been like, and it's an often people like oh right where do I like so I'm very excited I'm over excited you know it's the best sitcom ever made yeah no don't get me started don't get me started because I will start going to. Like a retro sitcom nerd or is it just Red Dwarf? No I watched a lot of television when I was younger. Surgical Spirit, remember that one? ITV1, Nikola Mikhailov. I watched 2.4 Children, I watched The Upper Hand.

I watched the one, do you remember there was one? And the premise genuinely was the parents had died and they had to go and stay with the grandparents. It was called Tea for Two. So I actually obsessively watched comedy without realising it. Oh, of course! See what Rima's doing on the other channel! Yes, please! Yeah, I loved Grit Huffington. The baby in the drawer!

Yeah, so far the same. You must have had the same thing as me. That we've worked in comedy since, and I will see people and think, I know. As the receptionist from British Empire. And you have to act like you're not bothered. Like the time Captain Hollister came to my improv show, Ossentatious. No way. And I had to say, welcome to my improv show, Austin Tashias.

And I had to say, welcome to Austin Tashias. No one else knew. And I was like, it's Captain Hollister, it's Captain Hollister. Did you call it out in character? He gave me a look, which implied, yes, I know you know. Calm the fuck down.

Because I had like the eyes. But we're here to talk to Carrie-Anne Lloyd today about her perfect day. I'm just getting my notes. She's getting her notes. I didn't make a couple because I've got obviously, I'm tired. Don't know where I am. What day it is. I don't. What's happening.

She genuinely just needed to ask Lucy what day it was before you arrived. Yeah. And she didn't know either. No, I don't know. I don't know. That is absolutely true. You wake up, I wake up every day and I'm like, is it weekend? Is it not? That's what my weekend is. It doesn't matter. Not weekend. So therefore, it doesn't matter. Have you read Miranda? I keep asking everybody. We've done a whole episode of it. Yeah. I need to listen to it.

Every day is Tuesday. But that is there's a line in it that says every day is Tuesday, but that is in reference to somebody who's incredibly successful. But for me, every day is Tuesday because of just life morphing into one. Yeah. Anyway. Incredible book. Incredible book. Did I even bring in the kids book after all that?

I've got it. It's right here. It's the Christmas wish-tastrophe. The Christmas wish-tastrophe. I've written a kids book. If you can believe this brain managed to do this. Fantastic. The Christmas wish-tastrophe. The Christmas wish-tastrophe. I've written a kids book. If you can believe this brain managed to do this. Fantastic. Christmas wish-tastrophe.

We should talk about. What kind of kids is it for? It's for good kids. Not the bad ones. Not the shit ones. It's middle grade, they call it, which is 9 to 12. Bit thick. Middle grade sounds like media.

Oh, no. It's like, I would say like a very confident, nine year old or like a 12 year old. You've got, you're the same as me, you've got a seven year old. I have got, yeah nearly eight, I've got a seven and four. No yeah, I knew our eldest's wouldn't be the same age because I borrowed some baby clothes. I would like to formally apologise for the state I was in when you came round, because I have such a vision of you coming into my house to get baby clothes.

And this, we didn't know each other super well. We didn't. And you were the only person I knew who'd had a baby. I was early in the game. You were early in the game and I was too. Amongst the comedy ladies. And you were like, can I come round? And I said, absolutely? And I said absolutely. And I had all these baby clothes, which I gave you everything. It didn't occur to me I would have another one.

So my mom would say stuff like, what happened to that? And I'd go, I just gave everything away. Came in down the corridor and you said to me, how is it? And I said, oh it's shit, it's really shit. And you looked at me with this face of like, and then I thought, oh, you're not supposed to say that to pregnant women, Cariad.

So then I backtracked and I was like, for ages, like, well, you know, it's, I mean, it's, you know, it's good, but it's also, look, it's real. And I was like, how can I backtrack? Like the moment you came through the door, I was like, well, it's it's real. I was like how can I backtrack? The moment you came through the door I was like well it's really shit. I just remember you being so looking like I remember you being very honest about it but I don't remember getting freaked out about it. I've thought for years why did you say that? Yeah now I'm a children's author, I've written a kids book. You're a children's author, well done. Thank you. That's, how the hell did you find the time to do that?

That's disgusting. Yeah. I mean, I am happy for you, but you know when someone does something massive and you're like, oh God, I feel like I've just been wasting my life. But I feel like that when I see you in a sitcom, I think, oh, look at her doing that, look at that, that's amazing, she's doing a sitcom. You know that we only filmed for six weeks. You and I both fucking know that, it takes six weeks and then what else you do for

the rest of the year? Not writing a kids book that's for sure. Well that's because I don't get the sitcom so now I'm writing a kids book. That's right. Did I not get okay I'll get on with that book yeah. Right right right. Did they it went okay yeah so when you walk into the casting room and it's every see you've gone blonde now but for a while it was you'd be every brunette girl. Oh, hello. No, it's still just me and Diane Morgan. It's still. Oh, because you're Northern.

Yeah. So I, yeah, I def, well, I get, I used to get, Chepi, best friend. I don't get that anymore. Now I'm getting, I'm hitting mum, but not quite.

They don't give me much, cause it's difficult, isn't it? She's still young mum. Young mum, but not quite. They don't give me much, because it's difficult, isn't it? And she's still young mum. Young mum, yeah. Yeah. Young mum. Yeah, I think we've got, I think some people have like a more, you still are very youthful.

I've hit mum. No, do you know what I've hit? I have definitely hit, they won't see me with kids. I've hit the stressed mum with wine. Oh, great. So I'm often the side character with wine. He's like, you're only about her fucking kids, I've hit the stressed mum with wine. Oh, great. So I'm often the side character with wine. He's like, you're only about her fucking kids.

But I'm not, they won't cast me as mum. They won't want me to be next to a child. Sometimes that doesn't sit right with them. Your mum adjacent. Oh God, I can really see you as like a manic. Yeah, manic, drunk mum, bad mum, aggressive mum, stressed mum. Are these things you've been auditioning for or things you've got? What have you been doing?

These are just general auditions. Yeah. I wrote the book, Jess. I didn't get them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so. I wrote a book. Oh, yeah, yeah.

She wrote the book. Guys, Christmas Wishtastrophe. Because I didn't get stressed mum. Tell me about the book a bit. I should tell you about the book. Yes. OK. So it's called The Christmas Wishtastrophe.

It's set in Jane Austen times. Oh, hello. Regency times. Because I do a show called Austen Tashias. We do. So it's called the Christmas wish catastrophe is set in Jane Austen times. Because I do a show called Austin tasias. And it's fantastic improvised Jane Austin. And so I know that world very well. So I was like, Oh, it'd be nice to write a book that kids could enjoy that world of like balls and car parties and all that, you know, all that like nice regency life, but with a kid's story. So she's called Lydia marmalade. What a fantastic name. I love her already. Her best friend is a sausage dog called Colin.

Her mom dies and she gets sent to a big scary house called Pepomberley with Lady Partridge and she doesn't know why. And then she makes a wish on a winter fire sprite called Belle. And from that moment chaos ensues because they can't make the wish come true. And there's a bit of Austin romance in there as well. Tell me a bit about... Actually, let's get... Let's... Carrie Anne, let's crack on because I want to ask you about your writing process a bit along the way. But first of all, let's hear your perfect day. This is an ad from BetterHelp. Let's hear your own home. Having someone to talk to is truly a gift, especially during the holidays. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more

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With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Bumbley Bumbley Bumbley Bumbley Carrie Lloyd, what's your perfect morning? So I have listened to the show, I love it. Thank you.

And I'm aware that there is, I can do what I like with time. You can, yeah, it's elastic. Yeah, exactly. That's what I was concerned about because my perfect day as a mother of two small children Is I have I have a lion I sleep Yes, I sleep too and all I'm asking for is ten everyone's like that's fine. It hasn't impacted us in any way Like oh that's good and you didn't need me we We didn't need you. We weren't worried. This is just fine Is it absolutely fine and they were absolutely fine and they didn't watch telly and they haven't been fighting and they're perfectly happy to see you

They're not like where you been when was the last time you had a lie? Can't even I'm gonna start crying Well, okay, so she's nearly eight, so it's definitely eight years ago. Oh my God. Yeah. Producer Lucy is 36 weeks pregnant. Congratulations, I did think so.

She's just put her head in her hands. Look, it's okay. Look, this is what I did to Jess. I'm doing it to you. It's shit. Look, I mean, it's fine. It's okay, you're gonna be all right. What a lion do, it's see you in eight years. It's just that you don I mean, it's fine. It's okay. You're gonna be all right. What a lie-in do you see when I hear it?

It's just a lie. You don't get, you get asleep. You just don't that crisp, luxurious feeling. So you've got, you've had a lovely lie-in and it's 10 a.m. and no one minds what happens. Oh my god, even saying out loud makes me feel like, imagine if that happened. Like, what would I do? So yeah, let's not go too deep into it. I do think you need a break. I might need a break. I think what we're learning is, you might just need a couple of nights in a hotel,

not non-work related, where you're not putting the pressure on yourself to do any work. Are you, is this, can you be my life coach? Well, the thing is that what we've realised is, this is life coaching. Podcasts are therapy and we're OK with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what happens next? You've had this amazing night's sleep.

It's your perfect morning. OK, then I'm going to get to read my book. And nobody minds that you wrote or when you say my book. Oh, no, sorry. I'm currently reading. I don't like to just read my many books. I don't just read a lot of books because you have a podcast. I read a lot. A lot. But do you still enjoy reading?

Love it. But I would want the book, it was Perfect Day. It's not related to work. It's just a book that I thought, oh I'd love to read that book. It's been set up for ages. That looks really good. And I'm going to have a good read. Is there a genre that is your dream genre or does it not matter? No, I just like good stories. Yeah, I don't mind. I don't mind where they fall. Yeah, I don't mind what it is.

Modern, classic doesn't matter. Don't like any true crime. Right. That's what I can't deal with. I think if you're a brain churner, it's already busy. No, I don't need to. I don't need to add in, would you like more nightmares? I'm all right, thanks.

I make up my own and I'm really, they're real busy in there. I don't need you to add in, what about there was a knife in? I'm all right, thanks. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Got it, got it, got it, thanks. Thank you, Meg, thank you. Okay, bye.

So yeah, nothing, everything has to be, I don't mind griefy, obvs or sad, but just nothing true crimey or scary. No, thanks, yeah. So, so you're having a little, where are you doing this reading? I'm in my bed. I'm in my bed. I haven't had to get out of bed. Or I've gone to the loo and I've got back in. Yeah. The dream. Not to be like, I've got, oh, now I'm up. Yes, I can make another loon band with you.

Like, okay, I'll read this book about Bertie the bus. I'll go through the toy catalogue. Yes. What do you want for Christmas? Please circle them. No, you can't have that. It's a car. You can't have a car. I know. I'm sorry. We don't have a garden. Yes. All right. Make me feel bad about that. Our house is small. It's a flat and it is small. Yeah. Why is it so small? Cause everyone, yeah, everyone, all your other friends,

they have houses. Yeah. That's why we go to their house. That's why we go to their house. That's why you don't have friends here, do you see? And we have to be nice to them so you get invited. Keep that up, keep that up. So I'm in my bed, I'm in my bed. I've got back into a cozy bed and I've had a read.

Only about a half an hour. That would be lovely, love half hour. And then I'm hungry, by then I'm hungry. Hungry for lunch or is it a brunch? A brunch. The greatest meal. It's a great meal. Are you going out? Well, my husband, since he's always a good cook and then we had kids and it's like you can't go out. And so he sort of has made it his mission to become the restaurant he can't go to. Oh wow. I'm benefiting from this. I'm

rubbish. I'm like, oh well, there's half a bagel. I guess I'll eat that So he would do like an amazing Yeah, but he's got like a blowtorch that he will like, oh wow, like burn the toast so you get that like smoky flavor He burns the toast with a blowtorch. Yeah Do you not have a toaster? You toast it, then you blowtorch it to get that like... No, that's really extreme. It's extreme. I agree with you. I can't believe you blowtorch your toast. Imagine if someone says to you...

Of a weekend, if someone said to you, I'm going to do that, he's going to kill me. But if someone said to you, I'm going to do that, you don't have to do anything. I've never heard anyone... I don't know anyone who owns a blowtorch. That's how into cooking he is. It's for like when you have to like scorch something. Wow. You know like MasterChef vibes. Yeah that really is.

That's what he's into. Yeah. So what, talk me through this brunch. Oh it will be. Everything's burnt to a crisp. Everything's burnt to a crisp. It's not burnt. Because when he first started doing it I was like why don't burn my toast. I like toast that's visited the toaster's not burnt. When he first started doing it, I was like, why don't burn my toast?

I like toast that's visited the toaster, not stayed for holidays. Visor down. Stand back, guys. Stand back. I'm dancing behind him. Toast, scrambled egg, smoked salmon. Sometimes he does, he makes Holly's own Hollandaise sauce. What?

Yeah, eggs Benedict from scratch or eggs whatever the one, whatever it is when it's salmon, eggs Royale. So my husband's also a really good cook. Is it his love language? Yes. What you, does it, because with my husband, what he lacks in emotion and communication he makes up for in food. Is that the same with you guys?

He's a writer. So there's like heart, I have anything, I'm the colder one. Are you? Really? I'm the one that's like, all right, stop making a big fuss. I'm the more traditional,

all right, let's not get too, he's like, oh, it's our anniversary, yes, yes, all right let's not get too, he's like oh it's our anniversary yes yes all right I'm that one. I think he finds it charming. That is lovely. There's got to be one of you. Yeah I thought it was too much. So you have this glorious sounding breakfast and are you having it with your family in your home? No, with him the kids again taking care of, occupied. Now look I love my children and it's gonna sound like I don't want to spend time with them I do like spending time with them. I really

enjoy this bit. They are just so loud they ruin meals. I'm happy for them to be in the other room playing nicely and you know when you have a peek in and they're actually like suddenly my daughter's reading him a book. Yeah occasionally that happens. And you're like oh wow okay no one move no one move like eat your food this is happening. So under normal cirques are you get up you're woken up at say 4am like there probably isn't a normal day in the life of Carrie Adloyd, but if there was one, what does like your normal working day look like? Do you have a routine when you're trying, like if you're in writing mode, like say when you're writing the book or? Yeah, normal is like, and again,

it's like just sorting them out all morning and I can't, so this probably, I was, if this isn't already clear, I was diagnosed with ADHD last year. Were you? Yes. I didn't know that. My whole family basically have ADHD and my children, it's a loud chaos, it's loud. And so the morning from wake up to them getting them to school, it's just like tornadoes are happening. It's just a very sensitive neurodivergent household. Right. Okay. And so it's a lot. And so you just finally get them to school, get home,

and then it's like, and then it is a cup of tea, actual conversation with my husband who also works from home. And then I sit at the desk and I try and write by ADHD. So I probably do a lot of procrastination for a long time. How do you get beyond it then? Do you have, are you the type of ADHD

where you can tune into a certain type of sound, music? Does that help? I have an app called Endle, which does like, it's special, I actually had it for the first book, the non-fiction book I wrote, You Were Not Alone, which I had to write during lockdown with a newborn. And actually, I were alone. I really was alone.

I had to tell myself I wasn't to write the book. And I have noise-canceling headphones and yeah, Endel. But because I have ADHD, I won't remember Endel exists till two in the afternoon. Oh, really? I'll be like, God, I'm not doing anything. I keep shouting to my husband, I'm not getting anything done.

He's ignoring me, he's trying to work. I'm not getting anything done, I'm doing emails, I put a wash on, take the wash out. I decide to sort out my daughter's, you know, unicorn collection and then I go, this is so hard to write, so... Oh yeah, I've got that app that helps me write. And then I put it on. It would take me hours to remember it. How the hell did you write a book that loads of books? You've been so productive. How's that? You must be. How are you doing this? Well the thing with ADHD you need a hard deadline so then everything gets done very late. Oh do you have hyper focus as well? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's when you get super focused. That doesn't happen until you're basically shitting yourself. Until people are going where is it?

And then you're like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Yeah, so it's it's not ideal is that but is it isn't that fine? No, you're riding cortisol a lot of your life You're constantly on like oh god, but also I have to say not that this is an ADHD podcast, but aren't they all now? Isn't that what it is? Since being diagnosed and having family members diagnosed with it, it's been very helpful because now I know what I have to do. So now I'm much more, rather than before,

I'd be like, you're just so shit at this. You just never get anything done. Whereas now I'm like, it's just much harder. So what do we need to do? And I will get my phone and I will lob it across the room so it hits the sofa and then I can't be asked to get it so then that is often when I'm like, right come on and I speak to myself, come on you know you've got to do this, come on. End all goes on and then I get shit done and then I can get shit done very quickly but it's just the faff.

Yeah so once you know you've got, you can manage it a lot better. By throwing your phone. Throw your phone, or just get a better sense of it. Do you think that more people have been diagnosed with it because of, well, there's probably awareness. I like Sarah Pascoe's thing that it's a pyramid scheme. That one person tells. Oh, yeah, Laura.

Laura. Are you Laura? Laura. I'm Laura. That's very funny. And that also... And that you wrote underneath that reel, Laura is right though. Laura is right. So, because I've got a lot of Laura's in my life as well telling me that I've got it. And then also do you think that its bones and like modern life has exacerbated a pre existing condition? No, I said I genuinely as you know, to be slightly serious, it has the diagnosis is going up, but it's very there's that meme that goes around.

Like if you look at the diagnosis, diagnosis, if you look at when divorce became legal and it's like divorce spikes, so women were allowed to ask for divorce. If you look at when left-handedness started being like beaten out of children, people became left-handed, because they were like, oh, you're not gonna hit me. I actually can't write with that hand. And I think it's the same with ADHD. I'm so mad that that was a thing, isn't it?

It was a thing. Oh, same thing with like LGBTQ plus, once that became more accepted in society, people would be like, oh, actually, yeah, I'm queer, I'm gay, I'm bisexual. And it's a very similar thing with ADHD. They didn't have any diagnosis for women. They didn't have a category for women until very recently. You know, up until 2018, they thought if you if you were autistic, you couldn't be ADHD. You couldn't have both. They now know that 60% of people with ADHD are autistic.

So that's something that's very much being developed and researched as we go. And so of course, there's lots of people who are suddenly reading memes or looking at reels going, oh, that's me, that's me. And so I understand that to people on the outside, it suddenly feels like, oh, everyone's got it. And also people who have ADHD, one of the things you have with ADHD is oversharing and talkative. So guess what? You diagnose a lot of people who like oversharing and are talkative with ADHD. What do you think they're going to do? They're going to share that they've got ADHD and they're going to talk to their friends about it. And all their friends are like, Oh my God, this is always going on about it. It's like the vegan thing. Like, how do you know someone's got ADHD? Because they don't fucking

know. And neurodiverse people tend to be friends with neurodiverse people. This is what I've heard. So obviously if one of your friends is, it's maybe more likely, not necessarily. And our business, if you're freelance, if you have, you know, you're self-employed performers, it makes sense to me that you're getting a lot of female stand-ups diagnosed, like the dopamine that you get from like doing all those gigs. So it's not that these people are lying or like suddenly making up. It's like if somebody, if you didn't know you could dye your hair blonde, if someone, and then someone was like, oh, there's this thing and you can go to hairdressers and you can do it.

Oh, oh, I would like that. Or like, oh, lipstick exists. Oh, well, yeah, maybe I want them to be red at some point in my life. And then I was like, oh, I don't want these people obsessed. You're like, no, I just didn't know, just didn't know it was there, now I do. And now it's helpful.

It's like, it's this idea that it is like, it is just a fashion, but then even fashions are fashions for a reason. They become fashions because of a change in the culture. And I think phones definitely exacerbate the behavior. And I definitely think phones like- It's more noticeable perhaps. Yeah, and I think Instagram unwittingly,

this is my theory, unwittingly Instagram is the content creators it's like perfect for ADHD. It works so well, like the likes, the dopamine, the changing, all of it's like they didn't mean to but they made an ADHD machine. So I think it attracts a lot of people who rise to the top, do very well if you are neurodiverse. You'll probably get lots of emails moaning about that unscientific theory. But also, what I mean is if you are ADHD and you stripped away, you know, the fact that you do have to throw away those words. What I mean is if you stripped away some of the

more prevalent aspects of modern life. But see, as someone who has like many generations of my family, very clearly ADHD. No. It was still a problem. Right. You know, my dad wasn't diagnosed with it. But when you, when you like, he ran his own business from home and stayed up till four in the morning and like he didn't have a phone, but that man could not sit still or do anything.

He just, he would just run marathons. We can all find things to do before phones. And then this just made it like, oh, I don't have to leave my house. This is handy. So yeah, that's my. I know it's annoying. I know it's a trend.

But also, there'll be a new one. Don't worry, guys. Chill. There'll be something else that everyone's telling you. Just let the ADHDs have their moment. We like attention. It gives us dopamine. Some of us, some of us. Your teen requested a ride, but this time not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account.

It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your team to your Uber account today. Should we crack on with your perfect afternoon? Yes. What happens next? So this is tricky, there's obviously so much stuff I want to do. So firstly what I would like to do is I would like to,

as ever, my children are going to be somewhere else but fine. I'm very glad, looking at the pregnant lady, that I have them in my life. Very glad, but perfect day. Perfect day, come on. Yeah, but we do need this to be good. Yeah, but do you know what we need? It not to be ruined. We've got to eliminate the risk of it being ruined. So I'd like to go for an outdoor swim on a sunny day. Probably the ponds, Hampstead ponds, ladies ponds.

But I want it to be, I want it to be like a warm day, but not too hot, not climate change hot. Right. Like a lovely, like, oh, it's 28 degrees today. It's really sunny and lovely. And the water is just actually weirdly a little bit warmer than it, like,

and I get into that, yeah, and have a swim that I would like to do. Oh, I love an outdoor swim. Do you do a lot of outdoor swimming? I forget it exists. And then I work with someone, I go, why don't you go to the outdoor swimming? I forget it exists and then I work or someone I go I don't know to the pond I love the pond or see another mum and she goes I've been to the pond I'd like to do that yeah occasionally something slimy grazes your foot move on don't worry about it yeah there's duck shit in there I love an

outdoor swim you just feel good just so good and afterwards you feel so great and you can tell people day I just went to the ponds. So what happens next? Outdoor swim. Then I'd like to go to afternoon tea. Oh Lovely, which is my greatest meal. Oh Fantastic with my friends and these are friends all my friends, especially the ones who have children And I want time to bend so that no one has to rush back for childcare or pickups. So you have enough chat time and then everyone goes, oh, it's only two o'clock. Lovely. We'll pop to Liberty's on the way home.

Just look in there just because it's nice. Spray ourselves with something. And then we'll all go and do pick up. But we don't have to. We're not rushing. There's no rush. There's no rush. Where are you having this mythical afternoon tea? Is it posh one? Yeah. I'm a big London, like I grew up in London, London hotels. Are we talking Claridge's? Are we talking, are we going like seriously high end? I'd like to combine all of them. So it's like the best of Claridge's, the best of the Ritz, the best of Brown's,

like the best of the sketch one, like the, like all of them. I love the sketch one. Combined. But you get to choose your like the best, because sometimes one like the like all of them sketch one combined but you get to choose your like the best because sometimes I've been to a lot of opportunities I really love it some of them have like good sandwiches but dry cakes some of them have a piano which is nice but then the service the waiters rude some of them don't do robust tea and I don't drink property so then that's very disappointing I'm like oh do you do tea? No you can have a chamomile. Well that's not the same fucking thing is it? No that's a sedative. Exactly! You wouldn't say to someone oh I'd like a

coffee well why don't you try an apple juice? Have you thought about a night hole? Yeah exactly! It's like night hang. Is there booze? Is there champagne? I have a glass, I'm the biggest lightweight in the world so one glass of like Prosecco, I'm not fast Prosecco champagne but I probably won't finish it because I'll be glass small. I'm the biggest lightweight in the world. So one glass of white prosecco I'm not fast prosecco champagne, but I won't probably won't finish it because I'll be so pissed if I yeah I can't I get you slightly allergic to it. I don't know I mean like yeah the joke with me and Pasco speed we scared coming in Brighton and I'd have one smirnov ice all night And I'd be off my face great On the podium like dancing away and it was like do you want a drink no I'm right such a cheap day fun

superfect evening oh this is really difficult because I've had a lovely breakfast and a lovely lunch and I thought, is it disgusting to say I'd quite like to go and do an improv gig? Because I do, like I love doing my improv gigs so much. Yeah, it's awful. But I would like to, again, bend time. I would like to be able to do bedtime because I actually like reading the stories, like not the chaos, the bath and all that stuff, but when you just sit down and you're actually doing stories

and it's lovely and have a chat with them both so I love it when you get a can you stay and we'll have a chat and she goes what did you do with your day and I'll have to say try and explain what I did I go what do you do oh it's pretty busy first play was crazy and then go for a gig because often often if you do a gig, you miss the bedtime. And then everyone is grumpy with you the next day. Didn't even see you once, mommy and daddy had to do our bedtime again. So I would like bendy, bendy time

and then be able to probably go. Yeah. I don't mind an improv gig, probably ostentatious. And then yeah, with like people that I love have a really good show and a show that like that amazing improv ensemble feeling where just like everybody had a good show not just like oh I killed it like that's not what improv is like but you're like you were amazing that was so funny and you're standing at the side of the stage just laughing your head off and that's your job is to laugh at your friends such Such a that's just what I think. Oh I'm the luckiest person in the world. Especially if you spend all day by yourself writing so alone and so stuck in your journey

head. Then go out with your friends and be like oh we can all do this together this is so fun. So great, so lovely. We were talking, I do have this thing now about like I think it's I think that we're all sort of like very individualistic, aren't we? Improv is like, you can't do it on your own. I mean, it just can't. People try and it's, no one wants to see it. There's been one man improv scenes and you're always saying, I think that's stand up. But some people do try. It's the classic example of a community. It's communal by its nature, isn't it? It is, and that's why it's such a not cool bit of comedy.

Because you have to be a community and you have to really help everyone out. And you're not in it for you. High five. We're not the cool guys. We know that. I don't know. Oh no, stand-ups are cool Then you get like character and sketch I would say it's not as cool as stand-up stand-ups are normally the coolest because they are like out there on the road I'm a sketch person. I agree with yeah

Yeah, and then at the bottom of the rung is the improvisers because we welcome everybody It's an everyone's right fist bump hugging lots of like come on We wear our hearts on our sleeves and the stand-ups, I hate us, there's lots of jokes about improvisers, there's lots of like, they're not cool. But when you're in that gang- But it's such a skill. It's so fun.

It's so good and it's so fun. So fun and it's such a joy to watch and it's unbelievable what you guys do in Ostentatious. So I would love to do an Ostentatious gig that goes, just super fun. And then, yeah yeah and then I would like to go out for like yeah like you know that late London dinner when you're like let's just go grab some food which you don't do anymore with kids and

I would like and then like my like husband and other friends like you know like oh they're all here like everyone's just like oh come and meet me spontaneous that you can't do anymore but just be like sure you hey we're here oh we're just passing we just did a gig over here the stand-ups that do like us would come and join us. Lame improvisers are there. They go and sit on another table. We're just not cool I've accepted it a long time ago we're're not cool. Oh my god, I don't think that at all. I just think you're so, I think improvisers are so clever. Some of them are. And it's a really specific skill.

It's a very niche skill, it's a niche skill, yeah, yeah, definitely, it's definitely cooler than it was when I started when it was very not cool, 20 years ago. The Americans have made it pretty cool. That has helped us. Tina and Amy did a lot, obviously. They have done a lot of heavy lifting. Like when I started and they were not famous, people really were not very disparaging about

when you're standing and make it up and normally it's rubbish. You really know, sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's funny. So now Tina and Amy have done the heavy lifting. But that spontaneity, obviously I'm a big fan of, and it's very good for someone with ADHD because you're spontaneously in the structure. So you get to be free and muck around, but there's this structure that's holding it, so it never gets to you, never gonna fly off and be like, what the hell are we doing on stage? Like, you know what you're doing.

Do you ever feel sad that it's gone? Like when you finished it, and that was that, and that was the only time that that was done, and you want to go home and write it all down and make it into a permanent thing? I never want to write it down and make it permanent thing because that would be like having to sit down and do work which my brain is like, oh no. I love that it, I feel sad. It's like that one of my favorite feelings and a lot of what I write I've realized is

that bittersweet melancholy. That's what I like that it existed and it was perfect for the moment and it's gone and you'll never get it back. And if you could get it back it wouldn't be perfect. It wouldn't be so amazing. It's because you can't get it back. There's a Zadie Smith essay about joy and it's about like having kids and how it has to be. In order for joy there has to actually be like an underlying pain. Life, it's like that's life. It's great but there should always be this that bittersweetness that like makes like you know gives food that flavor or life that flavor your friends that flavor if your friend was just amazing all the time they wouldn't be afraid it's the flaws that make

us interesting. It's a toxic trait. It's a toxic trait. What's your toxic trait Caria? Talking too much. Oh no. Talking too much. I don't think that's one.

I don't think that can be one. Overthinking probably. In friendship. I think I got better. I think as you get older you get better, don't you? Yeah. Of thinking, oh. Are you a paranoid friend?

Yeah, I'm a bit, but also I'm a paranoid but won't tell you. So do you, when people don't reply to you straight away, are you like, do you get upset? Is it that kind of thing? No, and I've also learnt, I think you learn with old friends don't you so you're like it's okay because they never reply so that's an okay one whereas someone if you have a reply and they don't you'd be like oh they are pissed off with me so you I think you just have to get the measure of everybody and then you can relax and if a new person comes in try and get the

measure quickly otherwise that's quite stressful I don't know do they normally reply I don't know because it's a new oh they're not a reply okay fine so they weren't pissed off they just I didn't reply because I didn't need a reply no reason I'm just quite in skill but now we know that now you know so yeah a spontaneous dinner with good food and again like not too boozy I don't like it when it's because I can't keep up with everybody so I'm just I'm just like one drink then I'm sip of smirno gone and everyone's on the same level yeah that'd be nice it'd be nice I don't know but when does the perfect day have to end can we go can we go dancing yes oh my. Can we get spontaneous dancing? Oh my god. That would be a what? I don't know where they go. I don't know where the kids go. I don't know. I can't remember the last time

Maybe they don't go dancing. Yeah, but I love dancing so much. I am like, are you a good dancer? I am a good dancer. Yeah, I'm not confident about a lot of things, but I tell you what I look good in hats I'm a great fucking dancer. Oh my god. I'm like a dancer that people they move out the way. That was iconic. Yeah Yeah, people will clear dance for us, but to watch Really? Yeah. Oh my god. I had a wedding photographer come up to me The actually worse the bride came up and said he's just told me he's not getting our dance because he's been taking pictures of you and said, he's just told me he's not getting our dance because he's been taking pictures of you. So I can't believe how much you were dancing. I was just dancing. No, no, no.

And pulling focus. I was beside her in a white dress. No, no, no. I was just, it was just dancing and he was supposed to be taking pictures of them, like just having a dance, not wedding dance, like having dance. And she was like, he's just come up to me and said, he's got to stop taking pictures of you. Because it's like, he's never seen anyone dance like this said, he's got to stop taking pictures of you Because it's like he's never seen anyone does oh my god Your professional I got offered a job cage dancing. Yeah, that's that's what we're talking about. It's that level. It's so slutty

It's so like I'm not like to talk to me I'm uptight neurotic and then you see me dancing like what is going on? And it's the funniest thing because I watch people see They're like I did not know That was happening. I didn't I I was not expecting this I danced in Edinburgh once And I was with papis and they were like, oh we didn't know you could dance like that And then I got an email when they did baddolts and they were like, oh I've got a part we had to do Just a dance in it. It's just to dance in it, she has to dance in it,

in Hot Pants. Oh, gosh, you know. And I was like, because I'm blushing now. They wrote that for you. And I was like, okay, fine. And then what happened was, anyway, we filmed it, it was fine, I did my dancing. Link to Bad Alts in the show notes, please.

And Tom Parry, he's told this story before, he had hit his head on set. He had like a cut on his head. And they'd had to cover it up with makeup and we'd done the recording. And I think it was the last episode since we were having a bit of a party afterwards. And I started jokingly like dancing at him

and his head started bleeding. Because he was like, he said, my head's bleeding. I'm so, like, this is too much, Carrie Anne, stop it. It's too much. It's like the scar, like, erupted and like blood started coming out of his head because the dancing was so intense. I just, I know it's a podcast, but I just kind of need a demo. I know, and do you know what, since kids, it's not as good. And I often think the people who saw me before kids, yeah, you're lucky because it's gone. It's not as good as it was.

When was the last time you had a dance? Can you remember? Oh I think it might be like a wedding. Oh, no Rachel Paris is for birthday party And again, nice people were like wow. Wow. There she is. Yeah I'm very myself and Ashley Will very much if there's a comedy situation that doesn't happen anymore But she would often be like you can you start the dance floor? Oh, you're the... She'll say, yeah, I've done that for her before.

And she'll also be like, me and you will start it. I have no problem starting a dance floor. You just don't have any inhibitions? Nothing. Don't care. Watch me. I wouldn't care if I'm the only person who couldn't give a shit. Wow. I love it so much. I just love dancing. So I'm not thinking, it's not like, oh my God, look at me. It's just like, I love doing it. So as long as

there's somebody next to you, like just bopping away. Do you go to any dance classes or anything? Like do you have dance in your life? I when I was little, but I don't. And I really, really wish I did. I know I love it so much. You need to start getting yourself down pineapple studios. It's too stressful there. I'm a proper, I'm an improvis so much. You need to start getting yourself down pineapple studios. It's too stressful there. I'm a proper, I'm an improviser dancer. There's no, it's just what I feel like doing. Yeah, I wanna be free.

So we could all then go dancing and everybody's up for it. No one goes, oh, I don't want to. And then the music can just be like, I don't mind just a mix of bangers. I don't like just absolute dance bangers. That's just gonna get everyone on the floor from any era. I don't care. Start with Chappell Rhone on the floor from any era I don't care start with Chappell Rhone move to Nina Simone I don't care

oh my god just bangers you can dance to anything yeah sound of it Cariad what a sensational perfect day and night so I would just like to ask you what's a piece of perfection you'd recommend this week? It could be a book, it could be a film, it could be a food or a place or a person. I would recommend a book because I do a lot of reading. Tom Lake by Anne Patchett. Oh yes, I saw you put that on Instagram. It is honestly, I don't like bigging books up too much because then people come in with expectations but it's almost a perfect book and I would say it's like a modern classic. Really?

It's just one of my faves. Amazing. Cario, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. That was such a lovely, perfect day. We got such- I've got a lot of insight.

We got a lot of insight. Thank you. And it was thoroughly enjoyable. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. Oh, there she is. Have you ever wanted to see someone dance more? Shall we start a GoFundMe maybe? Just crack on, have a little flash mob. Let me know your thoughts on how we can make that happen. Don't, please actually don't. Go out and buy Cariad's book, you dweebs. It's called Christmas Wishtastrophe and it is available presumably from all good book

shops and the little bijou marketplace known as Amazon.co.uk. Coming up we have the brilliant Joe Thomas from The Inbetweeners and we have a Christmas Drifters special. They're back! Strap in, set your alarms, like and subscribe and follow at Perfect Daycast for all your Perfect Day news. From Yorkshire with love, I'm Jessica Nappett All Killin' All Filler and I'm Paul McAfry from What's Upset You Now and we'd like to tell you all about our brand new podcast, Glad Rags. Every week we have a guest from the world of entertainment and design their perfect night out. Where are you going? What year is it? What you're wearing? What you're listening to and most importantly, can we come? Where would you go Paul? Do you know what I'd go anywhere in 1995. I don't care where it is.

I think 1995 was the peak of all human existence. The clothes, the music, everything. What would you listen to? Well, I'll be honest, if I'm in a good mood, it's an Oasis playlist. If I'm in a bad mood... It's an Oasis playlist. Absolutely. Come and join us wherever you get your podcasts

for the best night out of your life. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure. Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like, I'm just a guy just asking a question, but do you think I should go bigger? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? Every single word this time, I'm going to try and make it like it is the killer word. What did you do yesterday? That's too much, isn't it? That's over the

top. What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your podcasts every Sunday.