Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP28: Alexandra Haddow

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

In a special bonus episode, comedian Alexandra Haddow joins Jess to share her perfect day on the podcast. The duo revisit the importance of dance floors in pubs, talk correct train etiquette, ponder the cultural shift that was Paul Mescal in Normal People and discuss the peak of luxury - free-standing bathtubs.  Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast. And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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In a darkly comedic look at motherhood and society's expectations, Academy Award nominated Amy Adams stars as a passionate artist who puts her career on hold to stay home with her young son. But her maternal instincts take a wild and surreal turn as she discovers the best, yet fiercest, part of herself. Based on the acclaimed novel, Nightbitch is a thought-provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight Pictures.

Nightbitch is now streaming only on Disney+. and we'll give another $100 to a charity of your choice. This great perk and more, only at RBC. Visit rbc.com slash give 100, give 100. Conditions apply. Ends January 31st, 2025. Complete offer eligibility criteria by March 31st, 2025. Choose one of five eligible charities, up to $500,000 in total contributions. Alright then. It's like you've wanked a restaurant into being. Hello I'm Jessica Knappett and you are 100% human deoxoribonucleic acid.

Today's perfect day guest is the fabulous and hilarious Alexandra Haddo, a comedian who by night is also sometimes a DJ or, as we've come to coin the term, a selector. I don't know if we coined it, but as we know, lovers of pub dance floors are always and will always be welcome on this podcast. And among our love for dance floors, we also talk about Alex's perfect day. Today's episode is on the books for one of the most relatable from room service to great restaurants to Paul Mescal and hating people who don't use headphones on trains. This perfect day is such a slice of life and I loved it. So sit back and enjoy. This is Alexandra Haddow's perfect day.

You need to get a test done immediately, that is Paul Mesfield's child. All right then. Hello Alex, welcome to Perfect Day. Thank you so much for having me. Well, obviously, I and listeners may be aware if they follow me on Instagram of Alex's previous meticulous work on Perfect Day. After the Dolly Alderton episode, Alex compiled for the benefit of listeners, a meticulous list, almost a spreadsheet, I would say, of pubs with dance floors. I feel like it's my most important work to date in anything I've done, in any career I've had. I think this is my sort of, if I was to die today, this

would be my legacy and I'd be proud of that. It's quite a legacy and it was a service and we thank you for your service. Yeah, thank you so much. And have you frequented all of those places yourself? Oh, I go all the time because my boyfriend plays music there all the time. So that's why I felt like I was a slight... I don't want to say authority on the issue, but I am out there in the field testing. Wow. Doing the field work for us. All right. So, I mean, it is obviously the best way to see out a night? Yeah. And I'll be interested to see if this is your perfect night,

if it features. Well, I feel like I've got to be mysterious now until we get to the end. Yeah, you do. So are you touring yet? February and March, I'm touring. Yeah, my new show, Third Party. And I've got one day at Leicester Square Theatre, which I don't know if anyone knows, but it's very big, please come. It's very big and it will be full eventually. Eventually, if everyone knows. It takes a little bit of time to fill out the Leicester Square Theatre. That would be great.

And you're playing Leeds for the Yorkshire listeners. I've noticed that. Yes, I'm playing Leeds tonight as well. This is going out into the dateless podcast ether, but yeah, I'm going to Leeds tonight, which I'm very excited about because I went to Union Leeds, so big fan of Leeds. So did you tell me about Leeds and did you live in Headingley? Yeah, I lived in Headingley. I'm gigging tonight at High Park Book Club. I love that venue.

And it's so good. I used to live on that road in my very first year at uni at James Bailey Park. That was what the halls were called. So it's like a proper trip down memory lane. But High Park Book Club wasn't even there when I was at uni. That's how old I am. High Park Book Club, for those of you who don't know, is the coolest venue. It is a book shop. Yeah, there's books available. There's food, there's a little stage upstairs, and then you go downstairs into a little cellar venue. There's a little stage upstairs and then you go downstairs into a little cellar venue. And it's very intimate and cozy and sort of has that kind of, it does have a rough around the edges. Yeah, yeah, but it's great, isn't it?

Yeah. But it's so casual. Yeah. Everyone there is like the coolest person you've ever met. Yeah, yeah. They're about to tell you about a film you've never heard of, you know, that kind of thing. It's so true. So, should we crack on? Oh, let's, yeah. Alex, let's have your perfect morning, please. Perfect morning would be waking up in Drake's

Hotel in Brighton. I don't know if you've been to this hotel. This is so specific. I love this. I've really thought about this to this day. It's one of my faves. It's like old school Brighton. It's not that posh but I always think of it as like the poshest place you could possibly go. Do you know what I mean? Because it's quite small. I think there's like 10 rooms or something. It feels quite 60s and sort of old bright and it's on the seafront.

It's not even that expensive. It's very doable. Yeah. I would say waking up there after a night with all my pals, basically. Having a nice breakfast in bed. Do you know what? Until recently, I forgot that you could get breakfast in bed at a hotel. I was always like schlepping down to, you know, even when you're a bit hungover and

a bit tired. They don't all do it, do they? Room service. No, they don't all. Sometimes though, if you've, you though, if you've gone more nuts... You're not getting room service at a travelodge, unfortunately. Yeah, and that is probably why I've never really realized that you can do it, because I'm always staying in a hotel you like or something. The cheapest option in any town.

But when it is available... But when it's available. So Drake's is in the perfect category of being a... Yeah, because you've got the sea air coming in. So you've had a big night and you feel nice and fresh. And it's the sort of... I went there straight after the Edinburgh Fringe this year for a couple of nights and I genuinely felt like I was on a little break in Europe or something. Oh, did you just go and have a little decompress after? Oh, I had a little decompress. It was lovely.

Good for you. Yeah. That's great. So describe the room to me. Is it important that the room is what it looks like? Well, the thing is about this, actually, yeah, I know the thing. My boyfriend introduced me to Drake's Hotel, but the thing is they've all got a standalone bath, which I think is the height of decadence. It really is. In the room or in a separate bathroom? In the room. Some of them have got it in the bathroom, but I think literally the one up from cheapest is even they have got it in the room.

I mean, you wouldn't, that's the mad thing about hotels, isn't it? Because you wouldn't, in your house, you're probably not going to want your bath in your bedroom, because everyone's like, why have you put your bath in your bedroom? And then, you know, your bedroom floors are wet all the time and covered in towels. Yeah, it makes zero sense but in a hotel I'm like there could not be anything more. It makes sense, it just makes sense. You're like I need everything to be in one room and yet that is somehow luxurious. Yeah, so you're getting up so you've got your perfect what kind of the sea air is coming in, is it summer? It's getting to summer but it's not so hot that you can't breathe.

It's fierce mild, it's a lovely warm breeze but it's not stifling. Right. Yeah. And what's on your breakfast plate for your breakfast in bed? Breakfast plate, again, I feel like maybe I am from the 90s saying this again after the bath in the bedroom, but smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, toast, the cheapest, thickest white toast imaginable. Why is this a 90s breakfast?

Do you mean because it should be an avocado? Yeah, as I said it there, I was like, is that just what people thought was decadent like 20 years ago? And I'm just like, oh. Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel like that's always been the height of decadence for me. And it's a timeless classic. Isn't it? I don't think it's a 90s. Okay, good. I see it as 90s food, but, but when people say things like that, I think, oh, am I giving, you know, it's amazing how you can give your age away, isn't it, by just saying something like, I love smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast. And people are like, oh my God, all right, grab them. Next, I'm going to be like Black Forest Gatto, honestly. Olivants.

And Dungu is just the peak of sophistication. Yep, and a lemon meringue. Is that 70s? I don't know. I love retro food though. I just don't see it. That's just so funny because I don't see smoked salmon and eggers. Well, I never have. And then as I said it there, I was like, is this what I think is the night? But I think, you know, basically what the peak of this is in my perfect day All my mates are staying at the same hotel and we're having one of my favorite parts of the night out

Which is more and more dwindling as you get older, which is like the debrief all in somebody's room Love the debrief. I know somebody's got off somebody somebody had a bit of drama, but nothing life-changing You know somebody's let themselves down a little bit. Yeah, someone has said something stupid. Yeah, and you're all... So you all just sort of sitting on someone's bed in your car? Yeah, there's been a sort of communal room, we're all there. We're having the debrief. I'm having my 90s breakfast, you know. Everyone's taken the piss out of you for eating a 90s breakfast.

Exactly. Who are these pals? I mean, you don't have to name and shame. Not, not. Oh, I will. No, it's fine. I am. You name them because, you know, maybe they, I don't know, maybe they'll like a shout out. Yeah, I made my best friend Nat, sorry, Natalie, if I'm saying it publicly.

If I have to introduce her to everyone else, it's like, this is Natalie. But for like 18 years of my life, I've been like, nah, nah. And is she a pal from home then? She's from university. I met her in Leeds actually. She's a big fan of you. What? Yeah, literally. When I told her I was going on this, she swore at me in a sort of loving way. Is she Northern?

Yeah, she's from Manchester. Yeah. Right. So she went, fuck off. Yeah, exactly that. Yeah. She was like, I love her. I was like, I know you do. That's why I saw her. I like Nat. I love Nat back because I like anyone who likes me. And that's... That's the criteria. Yeah, exactly. So Nat's there and is it all your uni mates or is it a combo? It's a combo and I like to mix all my mates, uni pals, comedian friends, my boyfriend and his mates. I like to make everybody mix because I like to be who, you know, I always get a text the next day being like, Oh my God, I had such a great night with your mate so and so. And I'm like, yes, great. I like to make everybody one big gang.

So all your pals from different walks of life are all discussing on a lavish bed at a great hotel. It sounds like we've all just had an orgy, but we haven't. A bit, but a friendship orgy. Yeah, exactly. A friendship orgy. And you're a bit delirious. There's a running joke of the night. There's becoming a joke. Somebody's had a free song. Somebody's hooked up with someone ideally. That would be great. And then that lovely feeling after a big night

out essentially. And then we get the seven minute train back to London from Brighton. The train is also £2 and everyone that works on the train is not a bastard. That's why it's my perfect day because it's complete fantasy. Do you live in, you don't live in Brighton, you live in London now? No, I live in London and I travel a lot for gigs and I would say that my biggest nemesis in this mortal world is the UK train companies. Is that because it's so impossible to navigate the type of ticket that you're supposed to purchase for the, and if you miss a train you don't know if you're allowed to get on this next train.

Yeah. Exactly that. They do it on purpose, don't they? Yeah. And also, if you've booked a one o'clock and you're getting on a two o'clock and it's the exact same journey, just back off. Let us have it. Just shut up.

You know what I mean? I've paid for a ticket. That's all the adults here. Oh, God. No, I know. I know. I know. I know? I've paid for a ticket. That's all the adults here. Oh, God. No, I know. I know. I know. So there's none of them. They don't exist. Or you can get on whatever train you want at any time. Yeah, there's strikes of work. Everyone's had a pay rise. Mick Lynch is the Prime Minister,

ideally, in this perfect day. Yeah. And, you know, it's a lovely train experience. I generally like, do you like being on trains though, when you take away the authoritarianism? Yeah, yeah, I quite like the train journey. To have a bit of a chill out, you have to sort of read your book or do something. Do you know what I mean? I quite like it. It's a pressure-free environment. You can do some work if you want. If you want. If you want, but...

But it's okay to not, because you feel like, it's almost like you feel like you're doing something but you're not doing something. Exactly. Because you are moving. Yeah, yeah, you are completing a task by sitting there. Yeah.

What I would say is I've got to get some more headphones today because I've been going headphone free for a few months and my blood pressure on trains is going through the roof. I don't know, I'm sorry to sound 800 years old here, but when was it, why has it just become acceptable to watch a video out loud without your headphones on or these phone through videos? But you've just said you've gone headphone free and I thought that's what you meant. No, no, no, no. I meant as in I need them to listen to something so that I don't punch

somebody in the face. Yeah, yeah. Which I feel, you know, I get really bored. If somebody's watching video out loud it's because they've forgotten their headphones. That's the only way I can tolerate. But there's so many now that I'm like, you must just think this is fine. Why? Yeah. Honestly, I absolutely hate people, I was such a scrooge on the train. I hate people

talking really loud, like even if I'm with a mate or my mate's on a train, I'll be like talking at this level. You know, just keeping your voice, that manageable thing. Have a laugh, fine. But when you're shouting and you're, oh my God, I regularly fantasize about quite extreme violence towards people that have bad train etiquette. I actually saw red the other day because some boys were watching porn out loud on the train. On the train? And they were really young. They were like probably 12.

Oh my God. And I lost my mind. Yeah. Is that what you got to expect? I went into like proper mama bear mode because I was with my daughters and I just ran over to them and I went, put that phone away. There are children on this train. Yeah, nice. Good. They just like absolutely pissed themselves in my face. And then one of them went, have you got a tissue?

And I went, I didn't understand the joke. I mean, appalling. I was so angry that I didn't understand the joke. Yeah. As I am a comedy writer and I didn't understand the joke that a 12 year old boy made to me. And you were like, no, I don't have a tissue actually. Well, you will.

That is literally what I said. I went, no, I don't have a tissue actually. Well, you will. That is literally what I said. I went, no, I don't have a tissue. And then I went and then I just sat back down, but they didn't listen. They did turn it off. So it did work. See, it did work. Yeah. And then after that I was like, oh my God, they might like, they might try and mug me

when I get the train. I'm scared of the 12 year olds. No, you see, you did the right thing. But that's the reason I don't tell people to put their headphones away is because I feel like the rest of the train journey, I'd just be, sorry, put their headphones on or put their phone away. You know, I fantasize about saying it calmly, how I'm going to say it, how it's not going to be aggro, but I know that I'd be sitting there for the remainder of the train journey full of adrenaline like, oh gosh. That's what happened to me. But it was only a short train. That's how I could do it because it was only a short train.

Yeah. And also because that is a very extreme thing to do, which you should. Yeah. And it was really troubling. And I still think about it, obviously. I mean, I'm still talking about it now. It happened maybe six months ago. No, that's insane.

But on your normal morning, Alec, would you, how do you spend your normal morning? As a comedian who is often gigging, are mornings spent sleeping off the gig? Basically, yeah. Like I say, my boyfriend's a DJ and he plays old school vinyl stuff later than me, so I'm actually the early one in the relationship. So sometimes I'll go and meet him after my gig and sort of go listen to some nice music which is good but then I do yeah my best friend Nat who you're a fan she is like an early morning gym person with and she's a psychologist so she's sort of in the office for nine and I would say I would say daily I sort of get a judgment from her about when my

last scene on WhatsApp was I like what time I wake up to text her because my body clock is completely... yeah well I'm sorry but as a psychologist you should know it's important for people to get their sleep and to decompress after exactly work that involves an adrenaline rush. Yeah, getting adrenaline spike at, you know, nine, ten o'clock at night and then, you know, sometimes going out after. But yeah, I don't like to sleep in too long. I'm not like teenager levels. But yeah, I would say that a lot of people would say it's a lie in to wake up at sort of half nine, ten. Wow, it's not that, it's not that not that it's not insane, is it? But

in general, yeah, it's like people are already at work and you're in bed. Okay, let's move on to your perfect afternoon. Alexandra Haddow, what's your perfect afternoon, please? Perfect afternoon, actually, I would go and watch a film at the cinema, which is something that I love to do a lot and don't do it and do a little bit, but don't do enough. And there's always something in the way you've got to go and meet somebody or do something or you've got an appointment or you've got to do finish a bit of work or something.

No, I'm going to the cinema. And whilst I'm in the cinema, the weather weather is awful so I don't feel bad. But as soon as I step out of the cinema the weather is lovely and mild again and sort of spring like. So talk to me about is there a cinema that you have in mind? I love all the cinemas around by my house but there is an independent one called Richmix which is great. I know Rich Mix. I used to work in the Rich Mix building. Did you? That's where I wrote Drifters in the Rich Mix building.

No way. Yeah, because there were some offices above there and that's where I worked. Yeah, yeah. It's like a really nice sort of community hub, I think. Oh, it's lovely around there. It's great, isn't it? Lots of very cool shops, lots of nice food. There's so much hand cream for like £48 round here. So much Aesop.

There's so much Aesop. I'm swimming in it. Well, I'm not, I can't afford it, but if I could, I would be swimming in it. So you're going to somewhere like Richmix. Is there an ideal genre of film you'd be watching? Ideal genre of film, I think, is not actually a genre, but it's when you go to see a film that you have no real clue about and it ends up being one of your faves or like at least, you know, oh my God, I can't believe I just went to see that on a whim. I think the less you know about a film, the better.

100% yeah. Don't read anything about it. Don't listen to it. As soon as someone starts talking about it, say, oh, you've got to see this or that, that's all I want to know. Let me stop you there. Yeah, exactly. I want to go and see it. I will go and see it. It's so much more enjoyable when you don't have expectations. Definitely. So many films I think, like everyone was slugging off Gladiator 2 and I went to see it and I was like, I thought I was alright.

Because you've all made it sound like it's the worst thing you've ever seen. It's not, it's just not quite as good as the first one, which doesn't make it a bad film. You're just comparing it to... I mean, I think my sort of dedication to Paul Mescal might be leading the way here in my analysis of the film, but I just think... Well, look, that's exactly what I thought when people were saying that. Like, how terrible can it be? Yeah, exactly. It's...

Paul Mescal's couplets... ...but I totally agree with you. ...fighting. Yeah. That's what the film is, isn't it? Yeah, lovely. Let's not pretend it's about anything else. No.

It's about watching a small Irish man pretend to be a huge Roman man. A huge Roman. And we're not asking questions. I mean, I'd say that's the ultimate in entertainment. How well can this small Irish man pretend to be a Roman with top off? Yeah. And I'm going to say, I'm sure it's beyond passable because he's a very good actor. Yeah, that is art.

And I know that when I'm sitting there watching him with his top off, I'm thinking, what a brilliant actor Paul Mescal is. That is such good acting. Exactly. He's a stunning actor. I have said this before and I feel like it is becoming my legacy, but I'm quite proud to say this, if it is my legacy, is that when I watched Paul, as we're now on first name terms, in normal people in lockdown, it was when he still had Instagram before the barrage of women. And I DMed him saying, I just want to say, I think you're a fantastic actor.

Because I thought that will separate me from all the thirsty bitches. Did he reply? Did he halt it? I think he deleted his Instagram the next day, which says a lot. Oh no. Can you imagine being him when normal people came out in lockdown? Yeah, that's what it was. Honestly, I don't think I would, I don't think we'd all be Paul Mescalites if we weren't locked in our houses. I hadn't even thought about this. I got pregnant in lockdown watching. I think that was... Paul Mescal's fault.

I think it's Paul Mes got pregnant in lockdown watching. I think that was... Paul Meskul's fault. I think it's Paul Meskul's, in a way. Yeah. You need to get a test done immediately. That is Paul Meskul's child. God, that is really weird, isn't it? It was so synonymous with that time, but it was just such a great show, wasn't it? Yeah, I think it was a good show, but it it was also we were all locked in our houses and he was not a horrible man in the show. He came to us yeah yeah yeah. So the bar was through the floor but what was happening is he had sex but he cried I think that I think that was basically the

what got us all hooked that That was the basic formula. Anyway, that's normal people. So we're talking for our perfect afternoon. So there's no expectations of this film and it takes you by surprise. Yes. The perfect example of this was when I went to see, and I'm gonna sort of do a malapropism here I feel like, it's an incredibly weird surreal film that I went to see with my friend Sash one time and we had no idea what it was. I was like working at a magazine that day and I had to get a picture of it for like the what's on pages or something and I said to him, oh do you fancy going to see, it's not called How May I Help You, but it's something that you would say like

that in a call center because it's better. Is we went to see that not having a clue what it was or anything. I might not have liked it as much if I'd have known everything. Oh, it's really surreal and really weird or whatever. But the fact that we had no idea and we just went on a sort of Monday night or something and we were like, oh my God, this film's brilliant. Heaven. Yeah. There's nothing better than being taken by surprise and moved by a film and you're with a friend and afterwards you can talk about it and have a good time. Yeah. And you both have no idea that it was going to be good or sometimes terrible. That's just as good.

When you come out with something and you're like, what the hell was that? So you've gone to see a lovely film. It's taken you by surprise. Yeah, exactly. It's a sleeper hit. I'm the first one to discover it. I can be, you know, the asshole that tells everybody else to go and see it. Um, and then just go to the park in the sunshine.

Not a lot to do. See my niece. Love my niece. she's great. How old's your niece? She's two and a half. Great age. And she's just starting to talk, so now I can tell her lies and sort of, you know, really start to make her question what's real and what's not and really, you know, really screw

with her, which is a lovely magic for all time. This is great. So you're like cool auntie Alex. It's funny because the parents, whenever a parent comes on the podcast, bar one person, everyone has got rid of their children for the entire day. Yeah, she was. You as like a cool auntie. I was listening to Joe Thomas, to his episode and I was like, this man needs a break. Oh, it's the bleakest.

It's such a great episode. The bleakest perfect day anyone's ever had. Yeah, it's so bleak. He doesn't like any time of day or anyone or anything. No, and no lunch, famously. No lunch. Have you had lunch on your perfect day, Alex? Oh yeah, because I've had a lovely breakfast, haven't I?

I would say, because I'm saving the sort of culinary delights for the perfect evening, but I would say for lunch something disgusting and brilliant. You know, like a sort of a Greggs or a Nando's or, do you know what I mean? Like something, yeah, something. Something a bit. Something where you're like, yeah, this is a real treat and it doesn't even count. Yeah, great. Yeah. A guilty pleasure, fast food, eat it in the park, give my niece some. With your niece.

So, yeah, have some of this spicy food, period. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Introduce it to a lifetime of bad habits, food-wise. That would be ideal. Is there any more to add to your perfect afternoon? We've gone to the cinema, we've had a picnic with your niece. Yeah, I had a picnic in the park. Everything's nice and warm. Everything's fine.

Everything's lovely. I'm just checking that I've got anything else. Oh yeah, I've written here, afternoon, go and watch a great film, go to the park in the sun, see niece, and then write the best joke I've written it afternoon, go and watch a great film, go to the park in the sun, see niece and then write the best joke I've ever written. Oh yeah, lovely. Tell me about that process. How does it happen when it happens? It just drop into your head, ping and you didn't...

Yeah, I feel like the best things you always write are either something that's actually happened because it really makes you laugh and then you have to sort of try and recreate that on stage. But you know when you write a joke that, you know, for a stand-up it's always like the last joke in your set is the banger, right? It's the best part of the set because you want to leave on a high. When you write that, it's like bittersweet or when you come up with it or when it happens or whatever, you're like, this is amazing. And then when you've been doing it for quite a long time, you're like, I still haven't topped that. So what I'd ideally like to do is, you know, I'm in the park and then there's

the banger, the best thing I've ever written, pop that down in a notepad for the next gig. Great. You know, it's not a day off, it's a work day, but that would be great. You've topped your closer. Yeah, you've written a new closer, essentially. So what is your writing process? Do you sit down and you're like, right, I'm going to write some jokes today? That's what I say nearly every day and it never happens. Honestly, there's always something to be doing. There's so much admin around being whimsical.

Yeah. Tell me about it. You know? Yeah, exactly. You must know. And it's always that someone's always saying, oh, have you got that thing? Have you done that? Have you put this on sale?

Have you done this? Have you promoted that? Have you posted that link? Have you talked to that person? You're like, I just want to sit down and write some absolute tosh that will eventually one day be good. Yes. And so, but do you have a sort of, I mean, presumably, at some point, when you've got an Edinburgh show coming, you know, you've got an hour to write, when you're really knuckling down? Or does it come out in conversations with your boyfriend and stuff? How do you

write? Yeah, a lot of, yeah, it's all, I've never lied on the stage. It's always quite, you know, rooted in reality. But the show that I'm doing next year, that I'm touring next year, this year, sorry, the show that I'm touring this year had some... It's not a political show in any way, but there was a political element of me raging at stuff. And even the references that I did at the Fringe in 2024, I'm having to scrap them and write something new. So that's quite a nice challenge because it's quite topical. And I also think I'm going to have to take a lot of the politics stuff out.

So it's just too bleak now. There's just nothing you can write that is like, oh, what are we like? It's like, oh no, it's absolutely horrible. Just pretend it's not happening. Yeah, I've come to my comedy show and sort of press pause, I think, on the rest of the world. Yeah. And wasn't that your last hour was kind of about, like, wasn't it about, I'm afraid

I haven't seen it yet. Don't worry. Don't worry. But wasn't it about that sort of like, let's just, it's the last days of Rome kind of thing? Yeah. It was sort of about, well, it is about me sort of doing some mad stuff and trying things later in life because you sort of feel a little bit more, well, you know, the planet's on fire, let's, why not, you know, do this or try that or whatever. I feel like essentially the premise of the show is that we should all be a little bit more daring because, you know, we don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, yeah. Because there's lots of bad stuff. So that's sort of what it's about. But yeah, it's...

What did you try later in life then? Tried drugs. Which drugs did you try? It's quite a drugs virgin and then sort of a year or two ago discovered ecstasy. And I don't know if you guys know but it's good. No I wouldn't know about that. It's good when you're in a safe environment. That's essentially the argument I'm trying to make is that this is when you should actually try it, not when you're 18 and an idiot. I think I feel like there's only a couple of drugs, like, you know, people say they've

tried mushrooms or they've tried ecstasy, that people go, oh, good for you. Whereas I think if I was sat here being like, do you know what, I've gotten really into cocaine, actually. I'm going to be like, oh, you, you are. Is that, you are? It's so true. I've got really, Ketterman. I'm just finding it quite Moorish. It's just something that I'm trying as I reach midlife.

I'm on my journey. Hi, this is Chris McCorsland. And this is Diane Boswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Diane? We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't.

Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back here strictly, aren't we, Diane? We are. I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense, so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts. Let's hear your perfect night. I'd say the biggest contingent of my perfect day is me and my boyfriend not having to go

to work at some point. We never ever ever get a night in or off together ever. So it would be like the biggest luxury of my life for us to just have a normal date. It would be amazing. Oh my god because one of you is always working. Yeah, so it's like either I'm gigging or we're both gigging or he's rehearsing because he's working? Yeah, so it's like, so either I'm gigging or we're both gigging or he's rehearsing because he's got rehearsals on sort of, very occasionally on a Tuesday it might line up that like I'm not gigging and he's not rehearsing or something. Is he in a band as well as you guys?

Yeah, he's a musician as well. So it's, so everything's at night. So honestly, for me, having a date night, going for a nice game, dressed up, having a nice cocktail somewhere, and then going to like a seafood restaurant where it's just, you know, wall to wall scallops. For me, and then going out dancing to, I've basically put my ideal thing would be going out dancing to somewhere where he has selected the music but he doesn't have to play the tunes because that's what I mean you're always one of us is always on you know I mean one of us is always working or doing something so you're never sort of on enough you're on a lot of nights out but you're not

you're not carefree on the night out you're creating the night for other people. Oh, this is lovely. It's also so sweet. You just want to have a date night with your boyfriend. I know, it's pathetic. I don't think anyone's chosen that actually. Everyone's just absolutely sick of the sight of each other. Have you got a place in mind that you're going to, this seafood restaurant, imagining lots of champagne and are you an oyster person? Yeah. Exactly. Do you know what? I wish I was an oyster person because I like the idea of it. I like the accoutrement around an oyster. I like the ceremony. So decadent.

decadent. But my only phobia in life is vomiting. Yeah. And oysters, they carry norovirus for like half a year, don't they? Yeah, I know. I've said it before and I'll say it again, oysters contain norovirus. Yeah. And I found out the hard way. So did I. Like one of the only sort of two times I've been sick, like as an adult, is from an oyster. So I'm always a bit nervy, but I always want to get them. I want to be the burden that has them. Alex, the seas are too warm now. The seas are too warm. You are. You're so right. Unless it's freezing cold and you can see the sea and it's so cold, that's the only time that you should eat an oyster. I think.

This is some really good wisdom here actually. This is what people are coming to the podcast for. Climate change is essentially the thing that's been looking cool in a restaurant. I know and it is a shame, isn't it? Because I love them too and I think people with a stronger stomach can tolerate it, but it's not for us. So you're having your perfect night, you're not having oysters but you are having loads of scallops.

Yeah, and it's, you know, for some reason the scallops are on offer because whenever I go to a restaurant, it's always like, here's your starters. They're all pretty nice. They're all six to seven pounds. Oh, here's two scallops. They're 49 pounds. And that's always the thing that I want to have. It's so expensive. Why? I mean, they're rare and in the sea. Maybe it's just, maybe it's a freebie. Have you got a favorite seafood restaurant? I'm just, do you know what? As you said that, I was like, have I got one? Well, no, because you don't go to restaurants famously because you're always working and so you're voice is like...

I've got a few favourite restaurants. There's an amazing restaurant by me as well called Campania and Jones, a few went there when you used to work at Richmix. And that's Italian. They often have really good seafood on the menu, but it's not a seafood place. But that is Campania and Jones in East London is like, you know, the cottage in the holiday that Cameron Diaz rents. Oh, yeah. And you know how it wasn't actually real. It was like a sort of amalgamation of, you know, different things. And they're basically trying to make the ultimate, what your husband

thought he was moving to the UK for. Like this quaint, amazing cottage in this lovely village where everyone knows each other and stuff. I feel like Campania and Jones as a restaurant is the restaurant equivalent of that. It's like you've wanked a restaurant into being. It's this lovely kind of village-y it's run by like, you know, three Italian people who they're on the phone manning the reservation line for I'd say seven minutes a week. You've got, you know, it's very easy.

I'm trying to get you a free dinner at Campania and Jane. And you keep saying things like it was wanked into being. But by the way, it's perfect. Yeah, it's incredible, sure. So this is gorgeous. Is there and then does anything else happen after the dinner? Oh, yeah, we go dancing and don't get me wrong, we've picked the music because I feel like as my boyfriend's DJ, I'm not, I DJ our indie night but I'm not a DJ. And I do feel like...

How does that work then? As in I can do it now but I'm not a DJ. Oh right, okay yeah. I've learnt the skill of playing. So you are. I would say that does probably mean that you are a DJ and you're being self-deprecating. I've sort of called myself an accidental DJ because I didn't mean to do it. Are you uncomfortable with the identity of being a DJ? Yeah, I don't want to take away from proper DJs who know what they're doing or they're playing vinyl or they're mixing.

I am simply putting on songs that I think would be good. Although there is like a crescendo to the night that basically makes you, which, but most people can, you know, Maybe, are you more comfortable with the term selector? Yeah, I think maybe you're a bit more comfortable with some kind of dance hall. Yeah? I think maybe you're a little... That does make me feel like I'm in some kind of dance hall. Are there many comedian DJs, Alex? Well, Nish Kumar and James Acaster did, they have sort of become accidental DJs as well. I don't think they identify as comedian DJs though, do they?

Do you know what I mean? Like, are there any... I agree. I had to bring them on in the final sort of act in the comedy tent. People getting turned away in their thousands. It was unbelievable. Just to come and see them DJ. Play tunes. No comedy. No comedy.

Just pure selecting. Pure selecting. That's unbelievable. Yeah, 100% selecting. So maybe there is a sort of small contingent of us. Just pure selecting. Pure selecting. How's that unbelievable? Yeah, 100% selecting. So maybe there is a sort of small contingent of us. Wow. But yeah, I would say that generally,

if you want to become a DJ or a selector, as I now identify, you are basically a bit annoying when someone else is picking the tunes because you're used to being able to put on what you think is good. And even before I did this, like at house parties, I would always be like, let me get the vibe going here. So do you DJ with your boyfriend side by side? Yeah, at Indianesty, yeah. So we kind of like, and we put on a bit of a show really, sort of mostly dancing

And we put on a bit of a show really, sort of mostly dancing when we do that. What, you two dance together? Not like a waltz. But behind the deck? We're sort of hyping the crowd, I would say. This is very cool. Yeah, it's a great night. We'll do, yeah, it'll be gone. We've just done one on New Year's Eve, if you're listening.

Ah, right, yeah. Well, we'll all look out for that because that sounds like right up my street. Are there people as old as me there? Do you know what's really nice about it? There's genuinely, there's like people from like 20 to I would say like 50. Great. There's a real mix of ages, like it's a really mixed crowd and, do you know what I love, there's always someone snogging that's pulled that night, which is old school.

Oh my god. But it's not a young person, it's like an adult. Oh my god. And I love that. Do you see, this is what, you know, a lot of, I've got a lot of single friends and they hate dating apps. Oh, I hate, honestly, if me and my boyfriend ever break up, I am never going on an app ever again.

It's awful. You need to come to Indy Amnesty and pull someone that's got great music taste and it's a bit of a laugh. An absolute revelation. Well, I think everyone will be going, so get your ticket. Pub with a dance floor and Indianamnesty. Those are the only two nights you ever need to have ever again. Oh, God.

Well done. Excellent plugging, by the way. That's good. I didn't mean to plug that, do you believe me? Alex, it was barely noticeable. Cindy.on the sea on Instagram. Can't believe it. Can't believe I'm even mentioning it.

Is there any more to add to your perfect night before I ask you our final question? Final, I feel, oh yeah, do you know what I've put in the perfect night? Maybe see a weird celebrity. Do you know why I think that is? Because last night was my agency's Christmas do and we went to Jerry's in Soho, which is a great old school, you know, Soho haunt. And Michael Portillo was on the dance floor. Oh my God. Wonderful. And I feel like that always adds a nice element to like when someone asks about your night out.

And you know, it doesn't matter about who you saw, what went on, what you drank, what you ate, anything like that. Someone asked me today, how was the night out? And I'll go, what you ate, anything like that. Someone will ask me today, how was the night out? And I'll go, Michael Portillo was in Jerry's and that'll be the summation of the entire night. It's great when something like that happens. Did he have good moves? What was he dancing to? He was dancing with two young women.

Oh, God. Yeah. It was very, this was very nins actually, you know, Tory politician, dancing with two young ladies. Yeah, it was very odd. It was very odd. Our last question, Alex, is a new thing. We're just asking, it's a recommendation. We're asking you what's a piece of perfection that you'd recommend this week? This is quite basic of me. Yeah, go for it. Amazon.co.uk

Great little shop, honestly, you'll love it. They've got everything. And they're really ethical as well, so that's handy. No, I would say my piece of perfection, actually I've got a few. Try and have one day where you haven't got an alarm to wake you up. Oh yeah. I do that every day. Children, children are my alarm. The annoying thing to say to a parent, Alex, I will just flag that. Okay, so one day where isn't this waking you up? Whether that be a child or an alarm. Yes, yes, yes. No, you're right. Everyone deserves that.

Being woken up in a sort of state of panic, I don't think is good for us. Well, my alarm is, I go with chimes, so it goes, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. But sometimes it's so gentle, it doesn't wake me up at all. Yeah, I've got, I tried to do that with them because I was like, right, you know, when you're being all smug and you're like, I'm not going to wake up and the first thing I do is look at my phone because that's what's woken me up. That's how they get you. I'm going to rail against big tech.

Yeah. So what I did was I got a radio, a lovely radio, which I use all the time to do that. And I thought what I would do is just, it comes on slowly. It's six music or whatever I've been listening to now for. It sort of like gets a bit louder. Oh, that's right. But sometimes it happens that whatever's on the radio just incorporates itself into my dream. Right, yeah.

It doesn't actually wake me up, but it is, yeah, it's nice. But I would say like my sort of comfort blanket of a perfect day in terms of film, which I did this week while I was like doing some Christmas shopping and doing stuff in the sort of around the house, is to put on an old school 90s rom-com where Hugh Grant is sort of, you know, spluttering. Oh yeah. Like the four weddings and the funeral or the noxies and things like that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. A Richard Curtis funeral or a noxious thing like that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

A Richard Curtis. Yeah. They were actually very good films. They were great. They were great. They just weren't very, you know, they were just incredibly middle-class and not very diverse, but they were great films. Very.

Very. But, you know, as a person that didn't grow up in those middle-class environments, it's almost like being at a zoo for me. I'm just watching their, do you know what I mean? I'm watching hell the other half live. Yeah. Alex, on that note, you've got to get to Leeds, so we're going to wrap it up. I have got to get to Leeds. And thank you so much for coming on Perfect Day. That was... Thank you for having me. I wish I was having this Perfect Day now. Well, you can make it happen. You just need to find one of those very rare nights off.

Yeah, 2026. Can't wait. Yeah. Good luck. Well, there we have it. Thanks so much for coming on, Alex. I'm so glad I could impart some wisdom about the dangers of oysters and also Campania and Jones, if you're listening, Alex really doesn't deserve a free meal. Remember Alex's debut tour, Third Party, is happening in February and March, including a massive show at Leicester Square Theatre, so make sure you head out to see her. Coming up, we have some some amazing guests Angela Scanlon and Hugh Davis among the incredible list. So like and subscribe and follow us on at Perfect Daycast for all your Perfect Day news. Leave a review please, it does really help. And you can always reach out to us on everydayaperfectday at gmail.com if you've

got any questions, thoughts, anything at all. Well, not anything, but you know. Well, that's it then from Yorkshire with love. I'm Jessica Knappett wishing you a perfect day. Hi, this is Chris McCorsland. And this is Diane Buswell. And we've got a new podcast, haven't we, Diane? We do. What's it called? Winning. Isn't.

Everything. Every week, me and Diane, we're going to be having a little catch up on the back here strictly, aren't we, Diane? We are. I've missed you, Chris. I've missed you Chris. I've missed you too. We're going to talk some nonsense so why not tune in? Available everywhere you get your podcasts.