Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP31: Angela Scanlon

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Another Thursday, another Perfect Day! This week we’ve gone full woo-woo and are joined by our first ever orb of consciousness - Angela Scanlon. All aboard the waffle train, we’re about to chat about everything from flange and OnlyFans to shaving on public transport and so, so much more. Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast. And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You hear that? Ugh, paid. And... done. That's the sound of bills being paid on time. But with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, paying your bills could sound like this. Yes! Earn rewards for paying your bill in full and on time each month.

Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. All right then. I want some lad at the end of the bed massaging my feet. Hello, Perfect listeners. I'm Jessica Knappett and you are good at that and you shouldn't do it for free. Welcome to Perfect Day. This week we've gone full woo woo, even more than the Brett Goldstein episode and by God I loved it, of course I did. Our first ever orb of consciousness on the show, here to share her perfect day. Perfect listeners, I give you presenter, broadcaster, professional meditator, also founder of an

amazing jewellery brand and an all-round good time, but she doesn't like to be labelled anything but Angela Scangela Scanlan. If you thought my waffling days were dead and gone, you'll be pleasantly surprised to hear they're back in full force. We waffle about all sorts. Flange, OnlyFans, shaving on public transport and plenty more. It's a goodie. It's a goodie.

It's just two wafflers waffling. We also get an insight into the wonderful brain of Angela and some really great life advice and thoughts along the way actually. So here we go guys. It's the hot messer that is Angela Scanlan's perfect day. And we've got Angela Scanlan on today's show. She's an orb of consciousness. All right then. Angela Scanlan. That's me.

Angela Scanlan. But you've got the sort of name that I want to, I want to fuck with it. Go on. I want to call you Angela Scanlon. Yeah, fine. Scanj. What do you get called? Do you have nicknames? Is that your nickname? Well, that was, yeah, lad in school used to like went from Scanlon, Scanlo, Scanlon, Scanlon, Scanlo, Scanlange to Flange. Yeah. What did you get called flange all the way through school? No, just by one lad, Donal. I mean, fuck off.

Did Donal fancy you? I think he may have done it was a little like, you know, it was like his verbal punch in the arm. Of course, you don't call someone flange. I don't think he knew what flange meant either. Right. Well, obviously, it's a particular sound effect that you get on the electric guitar. That's what he meant. I think that's what a flange is. Is it? I think it's like a wah, like a wah. Oh really? Wow. Tara, what's a flange?

We'll find out. Okay. Cause I thought it was slang for funny. No, I think it's also that. Oh, fine. Yeah. Okay. I was right. It is a guitar effect. Of course it is. It does also mean vagina. Yeah. How's your life? I'm also, the other thing I'm doing is I'm just putting a timer on because for me...

There's a clock right there. But you know, I need to know how long I've been waffling on for. I love this. Okay. Professional. She's disciplined. I wouldn't say so. Tara might just suddenly start looking at me and making devil eyes, which means she's got a new symbol where she does two horns. It's hard to know, isn't it? when you get those cues, because you're like either

they're saying, this is shite, wrap it up, or you're actually in trouble now. Yeah. What kind of, because you're a virgin radio, DJ. Yeah. Every week. A DJ. That's where we met, because you interviewed me on your radio station. So much better. I don't know. I don't think I could be on the radio without doing that kind of thing. I don't know how I would get out of that. That's like character, like the radio DJ. Well, that's, it's quite partridge, isn't it?

Of course. But I don't think of myself as a DJ. Cause it's like a disc jockey. That's what that means. I mean, I know you probably know that already. What do you think of yourself as a broadcaster? Yeah. Right.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feels a little more bougie. You're a presenter. Yeah. And a broadcaster. Yeah. Right. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feels a little more bougie. You're a presenter. Yeah. And a broadcaster. Yeah. Is that how you is that is that how you identify? Do you have other because you're also like you're a fashion woman. Fashion fashion.

I used to be a stylist. I didn't know that. But weirdly, I'm listening to Oprah and Eckhart Tolle. Oh, yeah. And they do this podcast as part of hers. It's a few years old and I'm re-listening to it called A New Earth and they're like actually not identifying with those things. Like with the roles that we play is the key to life and being in the present moment.

Anyway, we're on chapter five. So you just an orb of consciousness. Exactly how I'd like to be identified as. And we've got Angela Scanlon on today's show. She's an orb of consciousness. When she is identifying as anything, she's an orb of consciousness. But I don't get that though, because sometimes it's helpful though, isn't it? But it can change minute to minute.

Well, for instance, I'll give you an example. Right now, I'd say that it's quite useful for me to identify it as an interviewer. Fine. Yeah. Okay. Well, then you do it. Don't put it on me. Just because you're unprepared, this is like saying, introduce yourself there. And I'm like, that's your fucking job. You do it. I know who you are. I know you're a presenter, but I'm interested. What I'm curious about is, do you have other things that you, like are you also an artist? What are the things that we don't know about you?

I'd love to be an artist. I mean, I see you on your Instagram dicking about and I think comedian actually. Dicks about a lot. Great. I love your Instagram. I do. I do love. I have maybe become more comfortable with dicking about. Yeah. I think maybe when I was younger, that was not encouraged necessarily or valued, I think, actually more than anything. And so I think maybe I moved away from that, but

I quite enjoy it. When you were younger, are you saying, did you have a kind of a strict upbringing? Not strict, I would say, but I just don't know that there was quite a focus on education and hobbies and like dicking about doesn't fall into either of those. So it was hard, I think, for my parents to understand. Not that there needs to be an outcome attached to every behavior necessarily, but I think they thought go to school, go to university, do that, the proper things that actually they hadn't really had the opportunity to do truthfully. And like formal education. And so I think they were quite focused on that. Not that they can't be alongside each other, yeah. Yeah. For example. Yeah. But I know what you mean.

So they were, they were trying to encourage you to sort of prioritize that and value that a bit more serious, be a bit more straight. I think all of you, have you got siblings? Yeah. Yeah. But weirdly we all work for ourselves. We've all kind of got like not in an academic sense at all, but we've all like quite rebelled against normal jobs that maybe we were being somewhat encouraged towards doing. So all in very different lines of work, but all doing yeah, our own. Are your parents still with us? Are they proud of you? I think so. Yeah. It's hard to know, you know, they're very gentle shows of appreciation. You know, it would be, you got to read between the lines. And you can just be projecting.

They might not be thinking it at all. Totally. They haven't, they're like, there's four of you, I have enough to do. Now, just get dinner on. It's like, what's an example of a compliment that one of your parents might give you? Okay, well, sometimes, and I try not to do it often to be like needy, but I'll be like, oh, did you see that last night? How was it? Yeah, it was fine. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. I'm like, it was fine. Are you fucking joking? It was fine. Like, as in you didn't embarrass yourself or us.

Oh, okay. But it's not going to be, you know what, you were dazzling. You looked ravishing. Yeah. You were funny and engaging. It's like, yeah, it was perfectly fine. And that's how we end up. I mean, I feel exactly the same way. Like, I don't think, I mean, my mum listens to this. My dad has never, I don't think my dad's ever listened to an episode of anything. Occasionally you'll find out. And I think, and sometimes I think, I don't know if you think this, do I do what I do because in the hopes that they're literally trying to, to get that attention? I'm almost

certain that that's why I do it. I mean, I certainly do. I'm like, it's no coincidence I'm dancing for myself. Like also I'm second from the top. So I have an older sister, then there's me and then the two younger ones. Right. And so I do think all sisters. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I think that comes with, there's a lot to try and navigate within that. Yeah. Not the middle, but you're one of the middles. You're like, yeah, loitering in the middle. And yeah, so I do think I identified heavily as the kind of, you know, joker as a kid. And then, yeah, tried to be serious for a bit, tried to be, you know, didn't work.

Didn't really work. And here we are. Well, Angela, I'm really excited to hit you perfect day. Oh, are you? I am. Yeah. Okay. I think this is going to be a good one. Do you think? Shall we get, shall we go for it? Let's have. Is it okay if I put my feet up like this? Please do. Or is that rude? I'm sometimes unsure as to whether feet on the table like reveals me as. I feel the same way.

I was, here's one for social etiquette. I was in a fancy cinema the other day. And my daughter brought out of her rucksack her dressing gown. She'd brought her dressing gown with her. And I thought, what a legend. And then she took her shoes off. And then I thought, Ooh, I'm not going to tell her not to take her shoes off. No one can see. It's fine. Yeah. But then I thought, if I take my shoes off in the cinema, is that disgusting? I mean, is it the equivalent? I'm going to say a hard no. It's not disgusting. It's not disgusting.

I draw a line of taking your shoes off on the tube. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I once saw a woman shaving her chin on the tube. No you didn't. Actually it wasn't the tube, it was a bus. With a razor. With a single razor, it was a bus. With a single razor, not on a stick. Not one of those like microblading.

Not a gelette, no. No it wasn't, no. But even that. Like a raw blade, like the olden days. And I kind of thought, first of all you don't want to be drawn attention. Did you have a mirror? No. It was like a kind of, you know someone who kind of plucks chin hairs in traffic.

It was that kind of vibe. All right. So she was just sort of like slightly mindless. Almost like, hey, you might bite the skin on your fingers as a kind of an escape from reality. Just like staring at her. But like there was very, she was, she had done it before is all I'll say because she didn't feel the need to be, you know, making sure she didn't hit an archery. She knew exactly

where she was going with that blade. Yeah, but I remember it was like comforting. It must have been think she just sits there sort of doing it all day, but also quite menacing. Yeah. He like do not don't say anything mean to me. No. Oh my God, you're not mugging her, are you? You're not mugging her. No. She might mug you though, I think. But so, okay, that's good to know. And I would like to know from the listeners

if you think it's acceptable for me to take my shoes off in the cinema. I do. I think train also. No. Yeah. On a long train journey. Do you? I think it's really? I think it might be okay.

Not on one of the four seats. I think it might be okay. Not on a four. I wouldn't put my feet up. Okay, you'd just take them off. I don't know. That's too far, isn't it? I don't know.

If I looked under and I'm like... Sometimes I think, am I a tramp? And I don't, like, am I like sort of gross? And I just don't know. You open your bra on the train. Open my bra? No, I never open my bra. Not because, not for any reason other than

I actually really like my bra. I like having my bra on. I don't have that thing of- I can't wait to shake it off. I haven't got big enough boobs for it to be like, oh, finally they're unleashed. I'm the opposite. I'm like, if then I like them to be covered

and feel like they're- Sec covered and feel secure and padded. Fine. Fine. That's your armour. You? I like to unleash. On the train. Sometimes. Like in the cinema I would sometimes. Really? Just while we're on cinema. But like you're saying that so judgmentally. You took your shoes off. And nobody knows, I would hope. It's not that obvious when my bra. It's just very different. It's different for me because I don't, it wasn't judgmental, genuinely. I just, I can't imagine the feeling of unpinning your bra and it being nice. Really? Yeah. But like just the space in your back. But then why wear a bra at all? Well you know so they're not jingling around. Yeah but just let them jingle. Do you think?

No. There was a woman who used to do a gardening show and bless her. I know yeah. You know her. Yeah but good on her as well Charlie Dimmock. Totally. I think I just was like, great, go for it. And that's what she did. But she did become known for her. Was all you could look at. Like I was not looking at those hydrangeas. I could not focus on the dahlias. There was not much information going in and I'm not even a pervert.

But all I could see was what they were doing and how they didn't necessarily. Exactly. Yeah. But, you know, you don't really want to be, I don't know, maybe fair play. She should have an OnlyFans. Maybe she does. We were talking about OnlyFans listeners before we pressed the record button, of course. We're just talking about how we feel about it.

Would we do it? Not for me. Not for me. Yet. I haven't reached that point. What is that point though? That's the thing. Poverty, I think, probably. Do you think so? I don't know if the people who are on there are there because they're in poverty. No, no, no. Oh, for you, for you, for you. No, no, I don't think so at all. I think like if all the work, it's my worst nightmare. I'm not an exhibitionist in that sense.

I hate the idea that anyone, I know that some people like, it's a kink, isn't it? As well. Like for some people, they're like, oh, someone's watching or whatever. They might fantasize about that. That for me is, you couldn't say that is such a bad shrinker. Yeah. Not shrinker. Yeah. Shrinker. But I love that the opposite is like, so when you're turned on, it just like opens. Yeah. Why not? The Red Red Sea. A why not? Or the Dead Sea, is it? Which one opened? I don't know.

I don't know. The Red Sea parted, didn't it? Yeah, that parted. Parted the Red Sea, not the Dead Sea is the one you float in, isn't it? Yeah. This is an ad from BetterHelp Online Therapy. We always hear about the red flags to avoid in relationships, but it's just as important to focus on the green flags.

If you're not quite sure what they look like, Therapy can help you identify those qualities so you can embody the green flag energy and find it in others. BetterHelp offers therapy 100% online and sign up only takes a few minutes. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com. What's your point? What's your only? I honestly need to, I feel like I'm talking around it kind of all the time. You think you're ready? No, but I haven't even logged on to see.

What it is. Yeah, like really to see how I'm like involved. Is it all sexy? No. So you can just chat. This is the thing. Well, or you can have like it to your point about fetishists. Sometimes, I mean, maybe that woman shaving her chin could have like a shit ton of people who just want to see that. Or it's a bit like I imagine. I mean, I don't know if it's quite like this, but ASMR like weird little I mean, I don't know if it's quite like this, but ASMR like weird little comforty kind of things like feet. So Lily Allen is on it and kind of famously made a statement about being

on it. It was kind of, I think, a joke slash publicity thing at the time. But she says she, the foot thing. Yeah. But like it's not even her foot in any like, you know, sexy position. I'm not sure what a sexy position is. She's not sucking her toes. it's not even her foot in any like, you know, sexy position. I'm not sure what a sexy position is. She's not sucking her toes. Exactly. It's like just her, you know, freshly washed foot on a bath mat, you know. On a train seat, maybe. On a train seat.

Yeah. And she says she's now making more money from that than she is from her music on a monthly basis from subscription. Would you know that it's her foot? Well I guess the super fans would. I'm sure like the way I know it's your face, if I looked at your feet often enough I would learn like what they, I would be able to identify them. And if you're really into feet I'm sure they do all look very different. I mean, it's not like she's sort of like moving her toe,

going, doing a little video, going, sun is in the sky. Like, how do you know? What do you mean, how do you know? How do you know it's Lily Allen's foot? Cause there's probably... Cause you can't put your face next to your foot. Well, you can.

You could probably do it right now. Don't think I'm that flexible. I do. I think I could. Although this right hip is really... Should we try? So like there, if you wanted to like actually identify... That must be what it is. Okay. But I really think your toes end up identifying themselves.

Right. After a while. Yeah. Or after not very long, like wiki feet is a thing. And oh, I know about that. So like, people go on your Instagram, get little whisper of your feet and then wiki feet. I took my shoes and socks off on something once ended up on there. I'm on Pinocchio.net. That's a fetish thing for people with big noses. Shut up. Seriously. Seriously. There is a whole thing. I got told that I was on it and then I looked on it and basically it's a lot of people being like, oh yeah, have you got any of her in profile? And then I'm referred to as, they call it a BNB, a big-nosed beauty.

I don't mind it. Put that on your Twitter. But maybe that could be my thing. Pinocchio. Pinocchio. Pinocchio. I think it's a specific type of fetish. So what?

But has it nothing to do with Pinocchio? Well, yeah, I guess that's where the name comes from. So do you call Pinocchio Pinocchio? Like the movie, the Walt Disney movie? Oh, no, I call it Pinocchio. No, it's, it's, it's, the website is Pinocchia with an A at the end. But the lad, like the little wooden lad, is it Pinocchio or Pinocchia? Pinocchio. Pinocchia. Oh. Pinocchio Pinocchio oh I think I say Pinocchio but for some reason when I'm referring to the fetish I call it Pinocchio Pinocchio okay maybe it is I don't know why

but immediately I've changed the sound of it because obviously the end is different okay yeah yeah Pinocchio I'm going on straight after this. So we've covered and have you, have you made your decision about whether you're doing it or not? No, I mean, I think truthfully it's not, it's probably not for me, but like, I'm, I'm just intrigued by the different people who were going on there now. And you know, that is it actually really a quite oddly empowered badass thing to do or is it actually no?

I think if you just want to be rich, here's the thing, like more men are rich than women, I think. And so I think if you want to get rich, money is power, great. Go for it. Get rich and do some cool stuff with it. I don't, I'm all up for it. What I do also think at the same time is that sexual liberation historically has been co-opted by men. So OnlyFans is basically run by a lot of people. I don't really believe that it is genuinely liberating except in that sort of like artificial short-term way that personally that it's like page three like it was supposed to be liberating at first you remember when we all like like in the night you know that have you seen Woodstock 99 no so there's

obviously that the Woodstock hippie festival from the 70s and then they redid it in 1999 they made this amazing documentary about it. So many women in 1999 at Woodstock are topless. Okay. Yeah. Cause it was like, cause it was like, we're just like cool and liberated and everyone gets their tits out. That's what we do now. But it does it to me now with my 2024 brain. I don't think that is, I don't look at those women and think, Oh my God, you're so free. But then I feel like, okay, a Parisian woman with their boobs out different isn't it different different

But I guess she's not walking down the chancel easy No, she's probably just like mooching around her apartment. It's just such an interesting area of It's just it like culturally and obviously that so many different things impact like nudity and sex is it's just like culturally and obviously that's so many different things impact like nudity and sex is, it's just all kind of, it depends on who's doing it, who's watching it, where is the power? There's always a transaction going on I think. There's always a transaction. Oh God, I mean I wasn't expecting to get into this. I did just ask you perfect morning and

then we immediately started talking about OnlyFans but that is the nature of the park. I mean, I wasn't expecting to get into this. I did just ask you perfect morning and then we immediately started talking about only fans, but that is the nature of the part. My perfect morning. Let's have it. Angela Scanlon, what's your perfect morning? I log on to only fan. Have a look at Lily Allen's toe cleavage and away we go. Um, I think my perfect morning is a really slow morning. OK, so I would have gone through a period where I really thought it was like wonderful to get up at 5am for other people. I got to looked at it and kind of slightly wished I was that guy.

Yeah. Productive. Productive. Yeah. Like kill the day. Eat the frog. Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that sense of achievement at being up and having a lot done by the time most people are crawling to work. And I tried it for a bit.

And there's definitely something in it. Sure. You know, in getting through like the priorities of the day, yada yada yada. Well done you. Thank you. And but I also realize that my favorite, arguably moment of the day is when I wake and I have two young daughters. This is kind of span. So it's not just a right now thing, but

they at two and six now will get up and go downstairs. My husband, Mike, are down to do breakfast. And so I can hear the chat and I have like often it's only a half an hour if even, but this beautiful kind of elongated silent little moment of aloneness in my warm bed while not being alone because there's chitter chatter downstairs and I know things are being done that have to be done and everyone's happy. But there's just a lovely little like check in that nobody needs you.

Nobody needs just for half an hour. Yeah. And it's so. I don't know, like nourishing without being really like I really find the alternative of waking up to like a scream or somebody's demand and kind of trying to chase your tail is quite stressful and I find it hard to then shake that as I move into the day. So I love trying to find that time. It might not be a 5am or but like having a little bit of that space in a morning is really gorgeous to me.

So that is your perfect morning and how and you actually do experience this occasionally? Yeah. A few times a week. I don't know if I do a few times a week but yeah maybe twice a week. You get to have that. Yeah. Yeah. I should be much more fantastical about this. No, no. That's what's so lovely about it.

Not at all, because it is the little things. It really is. It's those little moments. Yeah. I also love a morning bath. Oh, please. Like that is the most. A queen.

Yes. Yeah. I imagine that. But also there's kind of often no reason why that can't happen as opposed to a shower. Like the timings are not that different really. Yeah. It depends how long it takes for your bath to run. Yeah. But like you could be running that while you're. While you're doing anything. Brushing your teeth. Making Weetabix.

Thank you. Making Weetabix. Making. I'm down here slaving away over your Weetabix. Thank you. Making Weetabix. Making. I'm down here slaving away over your Weetabix. Yeah, I mean, perfect morning is when you create a bowl of Weetabix. And when it is consumed. It's been pressed. It's been pressed the night before. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what it's made out of. You've you've wheat, you've pressed your wheat. So perfect morning. I also would like a meditation in the morning. Oh, I know. What kind of meditation? Well, I go between. Um, so I like a guided meditation. Yeah. Um, so like a Dr. Joe dispenser. Oh, yeah. Okay. or Mooji. What's Dr. Joe Dispenza's thing?

Like his thing is basically quantum and like a lot of visualization and, but essentially, and I look, I think the through line between all of these things is, is presence. Is this kind of recognizing that you're here now, not, you know, being downstairs orb of consciousness. Thank you very much. I didn't have it today and I nearly cried when I got lost on the way to the studio. You didn't, you didn't do your meditation. No, no, no. It's, it does, it does set you up. I only, I ran out of time. Yeah, I did, but I ran out of time today. So I only did five minutes, but I thought I'll do, I'll at least do that and it'll help.

But like if you're in a good space, you can really make five minutes stretch, I think. Yeah. Sometimes. And I think a huge part of it is the like resonance of somebody's voice. And that's like if, if you can like relax into their voice, then that's kind of half of it. Well, I suppose also because it's like, you're, if you're, I'm sure you're maybe, maybe you're the same as me because you know, you're a woman. And you've got a lot of voices maybe in your head telling you what you're doing

wrong. I mean, men have this too, I'm sure. But I would say it's slightly, well, I'd say it's just different, isn't it? I guess like maybe, maybe those like inner voices for men are like, get up, provide, be a man, be brave. And women are like, be pretty, be a good mother, don't go to work, do go to work, be better. I don't know, I guess that it's looking to replace those voices sometimes, isn't it? And those voices that you're maybe not even that aware of. And I do think meditation really helps for that. Well, because also what it does is allows you to realize that those voices are not actually you. Yeah. They're just like little bitches in your head. You are not your

thoughts and feelings. You are not. You are the sky. You are the sky there. Clouds passing. So you've had a lovely meditation. I've had a lovely meditation. I've had a cup of cacao. Oh, wow. Intentionality. I mean, this is my dream morning and basically I want locked down again. Okay. Did you love it? I mean, I can't tell you how much I loved it. Have you forgotten the fear then? Because I do think it used to creep up, but I really think I was like mainlining. I've got very addictive personality. And so my way of of dealing with the fear was to meditate, not joking three hours a day. It became my entire personality. Whoa. And I would like look out the window and have these moments of like profound gratitude

for the Amazon guy coming and thinking, oh, my God, what a gift his life is that he gets to like deliver joy to people every single day. And I genuinely would be actually sitting at my window crying at how, what a beautiful job that was when you stripped away all the noise and the traffic and the nonsense. How like what a lovely job. He's Santa. It's Santa. It's Santa every day. Yeah. But people don't really

Really, really badly paid. Terrible working conditions and not unionized. But yeah, you know, really great. Yeah, really great. No, I get no, I mean, but as an example ability to shift perspective and be like, oh, wow, that thing that I've never really looked at from this angle in this moment. Yeah, man. It's actually quite a beautiful job. You've had a lovely morning meditation. Yeah, meditation.

I'm such a dull bitch. No, it's not. It's lovely. And it's so nice to hear it because I'm such a dull bitch. No, it's not. It's lovely. And it's so nice to hear it because I'm a big believer in it. Have you got any more to add to your perfect morning? I mean, I'd be quite happy with that. I'd love an L.C. swim, but I was going to put her in the afternoon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like a cold water swim. I'm such a cliche bitch.

And also these things, like I actually haven't done in ages. So they are a little dreamy in my mind. Where would you be cold water swimming? I mean, like ideally in a coastal area like West Cork. But it's a bit of a commute. Is that where you're from? It's a bit of a stretch. It's where my. I mean, I'm not going to get back for lunch.

But anywhere really in in Ireland on the coast. Do you do you miss Ireland enough that you could go back there and live there? I flip between it, you know. Yeah. I think it's a bit like people. The things that I love and miss and crave about it are also the things that drive me absolutely mental and mean that it would be impossible for me to be there right now. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like the friendliness, the walking out your door and be like, hiya and people knowing and the kind of comfort in that familiarity and the backstory and all of that stuff. But then I guess it's small

town in my mind, the small town is Ireland, you know, um, but anyone who came from somewhere that's not a big city will have the same, I imagine, kind of feelings. As a York, as a girl who lives in a small town in Yorkshire. Yeah. Yeah. But I do get to, I can get on the train and go to London, but I do. I, I love this. I love the community. I love the comfort of it, but I also know far too much about the people I've never met actually. For me, it's like, Oh, you cannot like, sometimes we want to reinvent ourselves and like be a different version. And if you're tied to people going, you don't, meditation, or whatever it might be, Who does she think she is? I think that level of-

We've all just been home for Christmas. Exactly. So it's quite nice, I think, to be able to have this space to like, you know. But you've got to get out of your, you have got to get out of your town. If you're listening to this- Hack your bags. Hack your bags and you haven't left and you're like, oh, I don't know why, why won't these people let me grow?

You're the problem. You need to get out of there. You've got to get out of there just for a bit. Yeah. Because people don't, you know, like people don't, they stay and that is, that is fine. It's lovely. There's, there's merit to that. But don't ask yourself why.

Why you're not changing as a person. Yeah. Yeah. If you haven't moved. Yeah. Well, it's got to be uncomfortable. Like I remember when I first came to London, I hated it. Like I was so, and I had lived in New York and felt like I really could have lived there. I came to London, I was like, this is like not for me. There's nothing about this that I enjoy that feels comfortable,

that makes me feel at ease. And so the type of sadistic personality that I have was like, I need to like scratch this itch until it stops bleeding. Until it bleeds and then stops bleeding. Until I find bone. Yeah, exactly. I need to like kind of conquer it. So rather than going, oh, this feels awful, I'm going to go back.

I was like, this feels awful. I need to get to a place where it doesn't feel awful anymore. Smart. How long did it take you? Ten years. You live in New York for ten years? No, sorry, not New York. Oh, right.

No, no, no. New York was easy. I lived there for a year and it was as soon as I arrived, I had this feeling of I could live here. London, which I assumed was a smaller version of New York, really rattled me. Really rattled me. I felt lonely. I felt completely isolated.

It was cold in all senses. And I come from Ireland, so that's not unusual. But like, I mean, everything just felt difficult. Wow, really? And it took 10 years. It took, I would say it took 10 years for me to really feel like, yeah, OK, I feel at home here. What do you, what did you need to do? That's an interesting question. I suppose I needed

to be, and this is maybe a recurring theme for me, the assumption that everything should be easy or I'm doing something wrong. Instead of actually things take time. And giving myself the grace of time and going, actually, it's probably, you know, I have friends that I've known for 20 years. I have just moved to this city. It's going to take time for me to know how the tube works and in what direction to get on. Like those kind of overwhelming things that when you're have been in a place all your life, you don't need to think about, but everything together with this move to try and create a career. There was a lot of pressure, I would say that I

put on myself. Yeah. pressure, I would say that I put on myself. So yeah, it just took time really. Wow. Yeah. Also, I wasn't in, like I moved here when I was 30. So I wasn't like, I'd spent my twenties drinking. And also you forget that you lose the bravado. You know, it's, I don't know if you felt like this when I, when I entered my thirties, I was's, I don't know if you felt like this when I, when I entered

my thirties, I was like, I don't feel as confident. I, in some ways I did. I was like, I know who I am now, but I don't have this confidence. And then I realized it's not, it wasn't confidence. It was never confidence. It was like, it was bravado. Yeah. Yeah. And it's different. Yeah. Yeah. That the foundations were. It's naivety. It's just like, oh, I can do yeah, yeah, I lived in Barcelona in my 20s. But that's what you should be doing. I was like, I'll just figure it out. And you did. Yeah, kind of. I thought I've also hated it and became quite miserable. But the thought of doing that now is way more terrifying to me. Yeah. as a 40 year old woman somehow. But I guess it's because I don't like the idea of uprooting my whole family. But even just me being alone

in a city now is quite, I don't know, I find that quite scary. What about you? Could you just randomly go traveling on your own now? I don't think I could. Like I sometimes find it difficult to be at home on my own. What's happened to us? No, but I love that like wild, naive kind of energy. Like I think that's so powerful actually. Like coming and not knowing the rules and not giving a fuck about the rules and not having been, I suppose it's that like, you know, like slightly harder knocks over time that you go, Oh, maybe learning. Yeah. The learning. The learning. Because you haven't

done all the learning yet. Yeah. No,'t know, because everything's just got everything's just been going OK, really. Totally. But also, I think the kind of limitations you're it's more comfortable to believe that the limitations are all self-imposed than, oh, you actually have no control over anything. Yeah. Just bumbling along and who knows how it's going to end up. Whereas I think as you get a little bit older, you're like, oh yeah, a lot of this is not within my control. Like I can do all the things, but you know, you got to surrender a bit, I suppose. You're very, um, what's the word? No, you're just, you're like really, um, mindful, aren't you? You're so mindful. You're like so...

But like not in an annoying way. Thanks. You're like a really down to earth Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh my god! You're saying all the right things. My, what did you say? The opposite? My, my... I think I talked about my fanny shrinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just about to say my fanny opened and then I thought that's so shit. Wide on, wide on. It's a wide on.

Angela, what's your perfect afternoon? What's my perfect afternoon? I kind of hate it. My perfect afternoon. So I've realised, my perfect afternoon is like throwing the doors open and inviting loads of people over and making something that doesn't involve me sweating, but like is kind of wholesome. And there's a bit of booze involved. There's maybe margaritas.

There's no end. I think a successful afternoon is when you invite somebody over for a meal and they stay for two. Yeah. You're in for lunch. By the time you all want to leave, you already need to feed them dinner. It's that kind of vibe.

I know that vibe. I love that. Like, and a car. What are you cooking? What are you cooking? Well, like, maybe it's a casserole. Yeah, because it's just been easy. You've done it. I love those. I love that when you've, you know, like a cottage pie or something, you've got it prepared. It's done. And then you can stick it in the oven and then you look like a domestic goddess because you've already put the sweat in before the people arrived. Yeah, yeah. I don't like sweating while people are there. I don't. I like all of the mania to remain like within the four walls and then once the doors are open, it should look easy.

Yeah. But like she's not Martha Stewart. But I also like a casserole is kind of maybe it's just the day that's in it and it's quite cold. But I like lots of little plates of stuff. So like lots of sides. I love a roasted nut on anything, for example. Like the other day I made a pea puree and it was delicious. I mean, as a dip. As a dip. For the children.

For the children. I made it for them and they did not go for it. And I ate it, which was fine. I'm enjoying a pea pesto at the moment. I tried to dress it up as pea pesto. They will eat that. They wouldn't go for it. I think I went too heavy on the sprites.

I put like those little alfalfa situations. Oh, no, no, no, they're not going to. They sniffed them out early doors. I think I went too heavy on the sprites. I put like those little alfalfa situations. Oh no no no they're not getting there. They sniffed them out early doors but I did whack a big lump of parmesan on and I thought I'm going to be able to style this out. Dip, look, dip your chicken in it and they're like ehh. Absolutely not. Because apparently kids eat more food when there's a dip. Did you know that? Like ketchup.

I think yeah. I think it might be an Emily Oster, you know, Emily Oster, parent data. No. Oh yeah, I love Emily Oster. She wrote, she wrote a lot of, she's a data head, she's a data expert, but she's specific to parenting. And she said, I'm sure it was her and I hope I'm getting this right. If you provide a dip, they found that kids will eat more of it because they think it's a game. Whatever.

Hummus. It doesn't need to be like a sugary ketchup. Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is my daughter. Mayonnaise. Yeah. So we've got a lovely casserole on the go. Actually, I think it would be more picky bits. I like the idea of styling a table. Like I like it to look nice.

I'm a style of a substance. I'm getting Meghan Markle as well. Fuck off! Meghan Markle with dryer hair. Is there more to your perfect afternoon? Tell me more about this perfect afternoon. I mean, maybe we're playing Uno. It could be 25. There's money at stake. Oh, yeah. Big money, small money. We're like a little bit drunk. I like a cocktail on an empty stomach. Do you?

You know, I like the initial giddyness and then, you know, I don't have much capacity anymore for it. But that's all you need. Fine. Just one on an empty stomach. And then like top her up as you go, you know. Kids know kids. Kids, yeah. Tearing around the place, but like kind of self-sufficient.

Yeah. Adults, adults around the table. Adults around the table, kids tearing around, picking lumps of chicken off a bowl on the floor. That's the dream. Yeah. And also having the space to think that they're free, but like they're, you know, safe and within, you know. Semi-supervised. and, you know, semi supervised, semi, like in a field. And yeah, and I think it's that kind of like, no expectations.

If you want a cup of tea, get a cup of tea. Like that's the, I love that kind of house where people don't feel like they're being, it's not formal. It's not formal. Yeah. Like serve yourself, go do your thing. You know, I look after you, but like equally, but also, you know, I look after you, but like equally. But also.

You know, load the dishwasher. Yeah. This is a dream afternoon and I'm so with you on it. And like the sun is shining, but not too hot. You don't need some cream, but you might need a cap. There might be. You might need a cap. You don't need some cream, but you might need a cap. You don't need sunscreen, but you might need a cap.

That actually should go on a cap. Let's go to your perfect night. My perfect night. Oh, I had this in my head. Oh, my perfect night. We're still in the zone. OK, we're having a sound bath. Oh, yeah. But in the house, somebody comes with all their quartz and crystal balls. There's a rain stick.

There's bloody turkey feathers for a bit. Like it's a full situation and we're all lying down and we're being bathed. Have you done this before? I have done it so many times I can't remember. In your house? Yes. Well you have someone come over to your house and give you a sound back.

An Irish woman called Estelle. You are Grinny. I know. Oh my god. Your friends come over, is it just you? Either or. Oh, why are you just a sound back party? Ideally, I think they'd like, but no laughers. No, I'm joking.

I did try to do before Christmas with my husband and my two daughters and the eldest daughter was very, she's very conscientious. She was like, and the youngest one was like look at my elephant backpack! Show my elephant backpack! Do you want to see my bracelet? I was like okay I mean I know this is supposed to be a cute collective moment but like she needs to leave. Did you have to get your husband to remove her? Oh god. Nice try though. Really nice try. And then yeah Ruby fell asleep under the Christmas tree. It was actually the cutest thing.

Oh my God. Yeah. So when, when your woman comes in and does, thank you, um, your woman comes in and does your sound bath. Yes. She got crystal, how does it? So she's got, okay, so a sound bath, if you've not heard of it, I presume you have. I have heard of it. Have you done one? Yeah, I have done one. But I haven't, I've done it actually on TV and I was sort of taking the piss out of it while it

was happening. It was before I really hit my stride woo-woo wise. Okay, fine. I don't think I would do it now, but. And it's quite woo woo. But like I've been doing it. I'm not going to like maybe for nine years. And not weekly, but I remember reading about it on the tube and the way it was pitched in, I think it was Stylist magazine was meditation for lazy people. And I thought, I'll take that as in you don't have to sit ramrod straight. You don't have to focus. You just lie down there and let it wash over you and somebody else is doing the work.

And so, yeah, I went to a few of the first few. It's not all like rainbows and butterflies and beautiful feelings like I I found them really like because if they use the gongs, there's like giant big symbols. And if if you have, because I really do think it's like the intentionality and the energy that they bring, if they're rattling them gongs, like your whole body is unearthing. The idea is that it's kind of shifting energy that's stuck in the body because it's like made of sound and light and whatever. So you might have like a little cry or something. Oh, like it's sobbing.

Yeah. And then you'll have beautiful moments of like just blissful, deep, restorative rest. Or, you know, you'll get it sometimes where you're like, no? You know, for the listeners that was Angela just doing a full body shake. Like a, yeah, sure. Shake it. So you like, but you saying you're doing that because you've got some really body that you're trying to get rid of.

You need to release energy or else it gets trapped in your elbows or elsewhere. And so I think the sound sometimes means that like stuck energy get like moves and you might not whatever it brings up that's been repressed. And are you thinking like, are you conscious of the thing that's being released when it happens? I think it depends. As in like, you might have a memory surface. Often they you'll be guided where they're bringing you, like they bring you into a kind of like

chill state and then you go on a journey. And sometimes I resisted that because I thought a journey, there's so much expectation. I'm like, okay, how am I getting there? Where are we off to? And the lack of control. Do I need to bring? Do I have snacks? Exactly. Do I need a change of clothes, for example? What's the etiquette when I get there? Have I eaten? Do I need to? Whatever. So now I just have zero expectations. I think of it like very much like lazy meditation. If you get something out of it and you get a little message that drops in, great, whatever.

But you don't like place loads of, oh, my God, this is going to change my life because it's not. You need loads of them. But it's just like a lovely thing to do. And then I would go to bed early, ideally before 9 p.m. Really? Yeah. And and and watch watch Parent Trap or something in bed, like on family. Oh, I got a TV in your room. No. So it would actually be on a small iPad or a laptop situation. You do. Yeah. Yeah. Do you fall asleep with all the all the kids and all the everyone just sleep in the same bed? Everyone is sleeping in the same bed, which again is my perfect day in theory.

And I do think there's a difference between what we romanticize and idealize in our minds and the reality of it. Because I hate getting a foot in my mouth at 3 a.m. But I then need to just remind myself, do you know what? This is going to be a big hairy hoof in 10 years time. And I'll be missing those little pudgy toes. So I try to bring myself back to that. Yeah. So I mean, that's my day. You're normal.

Hang on. Go on. Someone rubbing me. Someone rubbing me. So, you know the way people talk about it? They were really rich. They'd have like a stylist at home, somebody blow drying their hair, a personal chef, forget about it. I want some lad at the end of the bed, massaging my feet until I fall asleep.

God. And then I roll over and he sneaks out and he's not downstairs, he goes home. But he has done the job. Oh my God, I love this. Like, deep pressure, depending on where I am mentally, physically, but like... Maybe some reflexology. Or reflexology, babe.

But like, I... But also knows not to leave the waiting foot out for too long. Oh, yeah, because it will get cold. Cold. And then you're starting from scratch. I know, the other one's got to be tucked under. It's got to be baked like a little cake. Oh my god.

Yeah. So that would be the dream. So like we're on family, but then there's some lad down the end of the bedroom. I don't know why I see it. It's like he's like an Irish teenager. No, he's Sicilian. Yeah. And he's actually called Paolo. And he's a real guy.

And he just does it for the love. No, he charged me, unfortunately. Is he a real person? He is a real person. Oh, right. Yeah. And he comes to your house. And it is my greatest luxury. Yeah, he comes to my house and he props the pillows all around me. What is your life? Honestly, it's sound baths and pow-low. Yeah. This is my, like, I honestly don't spend money on anything other than all of this shit and I love it. I feel nourished, I feel soothed, I feel... Are you putting your foot up on that? You're thinking that I'm going to do a Paolo? Because that's not how this podcast ends. Not usually. Not usually. I feel like I should have gone to space or fucking Hawaii or something. I am so glad you didn't. Okay. It's been a journey. It's been an emotional journey.

It's been a psychological and spiritual journey. And may I just say thank you for coming on perfect day. Thank you for having me. Namaste. Merci beaucoup. Bless you. I would have gone to France for a bit of bread. That would have been my afternoon. Well, stick it in. We'll stick it in. Bread. We've gone to France. Pan. We've gone for a pan. Pan. A Paris. Oh yeah. Little train to Paris at lunchtime. Yeah. And then back for a casserole around yours. Done. Okay. I'll see you there. Consider it included. Goodbye. Goodbye. What an absolute blast! That was so much fun. Thank you, Angela, and I hope you get your feet rubbed every single night for the rest of forever. In fact, I sincerely wish that for all the perfect listeners out there,

unless that's your idea of a nightmare, in which case I sincerely hope no one ever comes near your feet ever. If there's anything to take away from this week, other than the fact that Amazon delivery drivers are basically modern-day Santa, it's to go and have a little meditate, I suppose. basically modern day Santa. It's to go and have a little meditate, I suppose. Five minutes is all you need. And I highly, highly recommend that to start or finish your day. I mean, yeah, you don't have to. Well look, that brings us to the end of another week. Remember, brand new episodes every Thursday with Rob Orton and Lou Sanders among the perfect days to come. Like and subscribe, follow us at Perfect Daycast for all your perfect day news.

From Yorkshire with love, I'm Jessica Nappitt, wishing you a perfect day, I said.