Perfect Day with Jessica Knappett - EP33: Lou Sanders

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Comedian, author, actress and certified bobby-dazzler Lou Sanders joins Jess this week to share her very, very cool perfect day.  Pack your bags, we’re going to Hawaii. It’s hot, there’s dolphins to swim with and boats to backflip off of. There’s aliens, there’s Metatron the archangel, there’s banana boats and most importantly, there’s Keanu Reeves. Like and subscribe for brand-new episodes every Thursday. Follow us on Instagram @perfectdaycast And, why not get in touch? Email us at [e-mail] A Keep It Light Media Production Sales and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, Perfect Dayers, I'm Jessica Knappett and you are forbidden from parking on double yellow lines even if you drive a Tesla. Welcome to Perfect Day. Thank you for coming. I really do appreciate it. If I could just ask you to help me to help you keep this podcast free, all you have to do is press follow in your podcast app. It's that simple. You wouldn't believe how helpful it is, just a tiny thing like that. It means we can keep bringing you more stunning guests like today. Today's episode with the lovely Lou Sanders. I love Lou. I love her. She's just so unapologetically

herself. And the result is absolute joyful, hilarious company. What a bobby dazzler of a woman. And as you're about to find out, also incredibly fresh. We just go straight in with the chat on this one. I don't think at any point I say hello, hello we've started or any of that business. We don't really need that at this point, do we? We just go straight in. Us guys, that's what we do, don't we? Us perfect dayers. Wafflers gonna waffle, tangers gonna tange. Expect adventure because it's Lou Sanders, so pack your bags. Where we're going it's hot but also snowy. Get ready for discussions of saunas, two of them to be precise. Get ready for aliens, get ready for the archangel metatron.

Strap in lads is what I'm saying. This is Lou Sanders' perfect day. My ovaries smell very fresh. All right then. Talk to me about your background. My background? Oh, not my family background. Yeah, no, your childhood. Wow, it's deeper than I thought it was going to be.

This is leopard print. It's beautiful. And then it's high gloss yellow. Oh, mate. Have you been having a lovely time decorating your new house? Yeah, just I haven't been allowed to do any decoration because I can't even put a picture hook in. So I've let the professionals do it. I did help one of them called Liz. I said, don't worry, I'm going to help today. And she looked, she looked sad. I said, Liz, we need to get this done, I'll help. And she said, well, actually I'm going to have to

redo it all. So I'd rather you didn't. Is Liz, what kind of, what kind of a professional is Liz? She's a decorator, a woman decorator, I hear you ask. Yeah, we got funding. We got funding. It was a lottery grant. It was a pot allocated specifically for women decorators. A woman decorator, that's how you said you... Are you a lady? Could you decorate? Could you hear your little cat? I've got two. Two boys.

Oh, Lou. And you are living the dream life really, aren't you? Well, yes and no, yes and no. I think you're living the dream life. Do you? Yeah, because you didn't forget to have children. So you've got a family. You have got a husband who loves you.

I don't know if you love him. I imagine you do. And you've got gorgeous hair. And that's the big three, as far as I'm concerned. Okay. Well, let's not talk about, let's not go in with forgetting to have children. Shall we? No. No.

Is this sort of territory? My ovaries smell very fresh. I bet they do. I'm convinced that, you know, if someone slung a bit at me now, I could probably pop one. I think you're fresh as fuck, mate. I really believe, I think it's absolute, I'm really, firstly, absolutely delighted by the use of the phrase slung one up me and I've never heard it. I know exactly what it means and I feel quite strongly that we should be using that. We should be throwing that around more. Yes.

Secondly, you're fresh as fuck and I can tell that just by looking at you. Yeah. I think my ovaries are fresh. I think there's probably one or two fresh ones in there anyway. Of course there are. And all this, you've got to get it done by the time you're 30 is absolute bullshit. And had I known. I'm 55. Yeah, I'm a bit ashamed you're 55. I know, but look at you, so glowy. I know we're not supposed to compliment people. I would like five minutes of the podcast to be my compliments. How do you, genuinely, how do you feel about this new thing that we're not really supposed

to talk about each other's appearances? It's stupid, isn't it? Would you buy a fridge based on the insides? Yes, actually. But why do you think it's back to Smeg? You know, it's back to Smeg again. Why do you think they're so popular? Because of the aesthetics of the fucker. A Smeg fridge, very, very poor quality fridge. Very poor shelf space. Not a lot going on there, actually not a lot going for it.

The width of the door alone, it's taking up too much space. Yeah. Yeah. You open that bad boy, you are shocked at how small it is inside. Whereas Melinda Messenger, very lovely to look at, but a lot going on on the inside as well, because I saw her at an airport once. I think you can tell a lot about what's going on on the inside with somebody just by looking at them at an airport. Well, no, because someone had a link to Melinda

Messenger and did know her. So I was a bystander for the chat and I thought what an intelligent lady. It's not all, you know, tiddies this, tiddies that. No, no, no, no. And that's the, that is the terrible shame, isn't it? I posted something about Pamela Anderson the other day because she absolutely loves Carl Jung. Oh. Did you see that? No, hang on. Who's Carl Jung. Oh, did you see that?

Hang on, who's Carl Jung again? The psychotherapist, philosopher, psychologist, a bit of a Freud if you will. It's not Jung. It's not Jung. Yeah, Jung. Oh. Yeah, Carl Jung. Jungian, as in Jungian psychology.

I thought you said Jung. I did say Jung, but I'm very sorry, Lou. I meant Jung. Jungian, as in Jungian psychology. I thought you said young. I did say young, but I'm very sorry, Lou. I meant young. Well, no. You're from the regions that can't go unnoticed. Do you know what it is? I think it was an attempt to not sound like a broad Yorkshire commoner. So I softened my hard earth. There's a space for that. There's a space for the... Are we holding space for my... ...wood Yorkshire woman, yeah. Are we holding space for my hard use? Okay, Carl Jung. It's a safe space for your twang.

Thank you, my little... Anyway, Pamela Anderson absolutely loves Carl Jung, has done for decades. Did we know this about her? No. In the eighties? No. I don't think it was discussed, but now there she is in the New Yorker giving us her insight. And, you know, same can be said for Melinda Messenger. Is it that it just blows people's minds? It's too difficult to hold both the thought of a woman being attractive and... Well, they don't want to. They don't want to ask Pamela Anderson, when she was younger especially because of this world, wants sort of you know make her blank

slate to come upon whereas as she gets older people can handle more the fact she's a 3D woman you know. I love Pamela Anderson. She's so deep, she's so wise, she's so articulate, I absolutely love her. She's been through so much, it's just wise, she's so articulate. I absolutely love her. She's been through so much. It's just fascinating, isn't it? I just think she's so emblematic of where we are with regards to the oppression of beautiful women and ugly women. But it's so interesting that the way you win is by being a stunning sexual object. Like that's the bet. Because if men have got the power, if you're doing that, that's the platform that they've built for

us. It's like we will want you for a very short time because you're playing into our fantasies. And then they don't want to ask your opinions on this and that. And then as you get older, it's almost that you're allowed more space to be a fully-formed human being rather than what they want to project onto you. But it's still not ideal. No. And then the discovery that the reality of being just attractive, although very famous and rich as a consequence, wasn't very fun. No. It's sort of like-

Because it's not your dream of yourself, it's other people's and you can't live out that. Be someone else's fictional fantasy and then you're just judged on that one tiny thing of how you look. Yeah. It's actually so sad. Lou, you're going on tour. Let's talk about that quickly. 22th of February. Quickly. Let's talk about that quickly. Yeah. Well, it's called No Kissing in the Bingo Hall. What did you do? talk about that but do it quickly. Yeah, well, it's called No Kissing in the Bingo Hall. What did you do?

Kissing in the Bingo Hall. But this was years ago, but it just popped into my head because a lovely lady with a strong Jamaican accent shouted, no kissing in the bingo hall. And I thought that's a lovely bit of business that. She was very passionate about bingo and I thought, yeah, fair enough, don't cross the streams. Oh, I love that. Were you just hanging out in the bingo hall or were you playing bingo? I was sort of on a date. I don't know if we got much bingo done because we were just too busy.

What's that phrase? Off our faces on MDMA. Last time I went to a bingo hall, I got told off just for talking. It's quite a strict atmosphere in a bingo hall, isn't it? Yeah. It's sort of gambling without the fun. Yeah. It's not conducive to necking.

To necking, yeah. But I did, I do think maybe keep the activities separate. But in my show, people can get off with each other all day long. Do you think anyone's met and fallen in love at your show? Well, someone did contact me to say they went on a date to my show. I think that's happened a few times. But they didn't really like each other. That's a shame.

Thank God for the show. Thank God someone else is doing the talking. Well, I've had a look and there are a lot of dates you're playing everywhere for nearly two months. So check out lousanders.com and have a little look-see to see if she's playing a city near you, which she will be. And if you live near Birmingham, you've lucked out there because there's a lot of tickets there actually. And Leeds City Variety is one of the best venues in the country. You want to hurry up to get those sort of tickets.

Well I'll be there on the 3rd of April. Well let me know because I'll put you on the door, you know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean actually. Lou, I loved your book so much, you know I do. Yeah, I do know what you mean actually. Lou, I loved your book so much. You know I did. It really took me out of a dark time as well. That's lovely. I was sick as a dog. It was a disastrous trip to New York City. I think COVID, I could not leave my bed. I could not leave my hotel room, finally.

The only thing I could do was listen to Lou Sanders' audiobook. Oh, it's the great healing book of our time. It really was, you know. I did a few rituals around it before I brought it out. I bet you did. I handed it over to the angels and said, do what you can. You do it. Metatron.

Metatron. Metatron. Oh, I went to a Metatron circle once and... It's in the book. Oh yes. Great. Well, I've only got two stories, I suppose. Tell us, tell the listeners about your Metatron circle. I forgot about that. Yeah. Just, I mean, it does stay, certain things stay with you, don't they? And it's not even a good story, but I went to a Metatron Healing Circle and there was just this like eight, because all of those things are just full of women. It's all to all women. And hang on. Can we just pause to explain what a Metatron Healing Circle is?

Oh, well Metatron is one of the big angels, you know, probably Archangel, I don't know, but one of the big, one of the big four. Yeah. Now, who is it? There's a musician who is a big Metatron guy. Oh, really? Do you know who it is? No. Okay. I'm going to look that up while you tell the rest of...

Explain. Is it Snoop Dogg? Could be. Could be Snoop Dogg. So I went to this and it was a meetup. Do you know those meetup things where you just join local groups in your area? It's mad really. Yeah, sure.

And I think it was like maybe in lockdown anyway. So I went to a Metatron healing circle and there was this 82 year old guy and he just broke my heart because he, imagine like an 82 year old at a Metatron healing circle, it's quite progressive. And then he just leant forward and said to the facilitator, and can anyone speak to Metatron? Just my little heart can take it. Imagine this 82 year old just like convening with Metatron. I guess it's quite ageist to assume that, you know, an 82 year old doesn't want to speak to Metatron, but he's off the back of the bloody wall. I'm looking at, oh, this is it. It's Carlos Santana. Carlos Santana says he's been in

contact with Angel Metatron since 1994 and Angel Metatron... That's a good t-shirt, in contact with Metatron since 1984. And basically all of his success is down to Metatron. Oh, lovely. We should hit Metatron up and see. I'm not allowed to ask for things anymore. I just have to be grateful. Why?

Oh, you had a tarot card reader at your birthday. I did because I love that shit. Yeah. And did she tell you to stop asking for things? No, my healer said you've just got to be in gratitude to stop asking for things. Right. Can I just give you a couple more Metatron facts? Please.

The 1999 movie Dogma. Yes. Metatron is played by Alan Rickman. Oh really? Metatron also appears in Philip Pullman's novel, His Dark Materials, the series His Dark Materials. Wow. Which I have read and I don't recall that.

Well no. I don't recall anything. Anyway, great stuff. Great chat. And if you don't know what we're talking about, then that's on you. Don't worry about it. You don't have to know everything, do you? No, you don't.

You don't. You know, it's okay to not be okay. But do reach out and ask Metatron for help. Yeah, Metatron will sort it out. Just Google Metatron and then just do a Carlos Santana on that shit. And welcome to your new lives, I guess. Oh yeah, welcome.

You are welcome. Lou Sanders, thank you for coming on Perfect Day. I think that's the kind of thing we're going to be expecting from you today on our journey. Shall we get started? Can we have you perfect morning, please? Yes. Oh my goodness. Well, I wake up. That's crucial. And I'm in Hawaii. Whoa. Yeah, I've never been. So great opportunity now, I suppose. Have you seen Lilo and Stitch?

No. What have you watched? What have you seen? Oh, what about that Russell Brown film? What film have you seen that's made you want to go to Hawaii? Or not film, maybe it was just a travel film. Not everything's films. Isn't it? I've seen a map. It's not all film.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry, Lu. Yeah. You've seen Hawaii on a map. A map. A map of Hawaii. Yeah. And it's made you want to go there. Yeah. Like, well, I know it's hot. I know they have lovely flowers. I know they have... You can tell that just by looking at a map, can you?

I know Keanu Reeves is from there. I know this is popular culture I'm delving into now, if you don't mind. I know that there's a big surf culture. You look at me and you think, Oh yeah. Three words, big surf culture. Dong. Big surf dong. So I wake up in Hawaii. It's no surprise to anyone. My boyfriend's made me breakfast. Hello. Oh, hello, Keanu.

Actually, no, no, he hasn't made me breakfast because then there's the guilt associated with it that I've got to return the favor. So I'll tell you what, it's in the hotel. Okay, wow. Who's your boyfriend? Why is he making you feel so guilty? Yeah, no, it's, Well, it is Keanu. It is Keanu. It is Keanu in the end. He wants to take me around where he grew up. It's very sweet. Yeah, he's shown me all the places. I think he grew up in Hawaii. We don't know. It's like a private villa, not a hotel, but someone brings us breakfast, but we don't

need to feel guilty. Sometimes when there's waiters or whatever, you do feel guilty. Yeah. I'm tapping into a lot of guilt right now. Anyway, new thing as well, I don't feel guilt anymore. Okay. Yeah, great. We've got rid of that.

Yeah. It's probably an eco hotel or something like, you know, something like that. Yeah. Or maybe they've just impressed upon you how happy and grateful they are for this opportunity. The opportunity to serve me a carne. Now, Keanu says we're going to, well, in my perfect day, I would sort of communicate with animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a given. It's a monkey, it's a dolphin, it's a puma. It's something like that. But not

in a way where, and it's an octopus, but sometimes it's all four if we've got the time. And we have, because we're up at nine. Okay, right. Yeah, we're starting at nine. I won't tell you what's gone on before nine, because it's absolutely filled. Some slinging. That's from eight till nine. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've cleaned my teeth. You have told me now. Yeah, yeah. I've cleaned my teeth. I've rolled around in a romantic, yeah, sensual way. Nine o'clock, we're up at, we've got to feed ourselves. He's feeding me, I'm feeding him. It's in jokes.

I thought we had a waiter. Hang on, what? No, the waiter just dropped it off. The waiter dropped it off. He's dropped and rolled. He's dropped and rolled. And what is it? It's vegan, high protein. I've never said that before. It felt great. It felt really good. I've never said that before. It felt great. It felt really good. I've got to stay in shape for Keanu. Keanu's got to stay in shape for the movie business. It's a trick or down effect. So if he's happy, I'm happy and then Warner Brothers is happy. Anyway, then we eat our

kind of fake egg or whatever it is. A chia egg or whatever it is you people call it. Then he says, look, I've got this dolphin ship, but it's not a dolphin ship. The dolphins only come and see us if they want to. If they want to, it's up to them. It's a private boat. It's just me and you on a boat. I'm not going to throw you over the edge and kill you because I absolutely love you.

That's a good dolphin. Why? That did take a turn. What do you mean exactly, please? He says, look, I know a spot where the dolphins come and speak to me like a Disney film. No one else knows about it. Let's just go out on this little boat. It's nothing fancy. But it's also nothing to worry about. It was nothing to worry about. I think as I thought about the lotus, what's it called? All white lotus.

Oh yeah. So that got in my head and I was like, oh no, but then I remembered it's Keanu and he loves me. So I said it all out loud, but I should have kept that bit to myself, I suppose. Yeah, no, but I think it's important to get it out because these things do cross your mind, don't they? Especially when you're having a lovely time. I think that's when it can be at its worst actually, the sort of, you know, the sort of anxious thoughts that you might be

murdered. Yeah. So then we go out on the boat. I'm not even worried. And then, because you know when you know. And then he takes us up to this secluded spot. Again, not worried about it. I'm not worried about it at all. Still not worried. It's the love of my life. And then we just sit there, we forget that we're even looking for the dolphins. And then all of a sudden, they come up to the boat and they want to play

bat and ball, or just ball, just ball actually. They want to play ball with us and we all swim in the ocean and they're nuzzling us and we're petting them and then we're sort of jumping off the boat doing tucks and rolls and stuff. So you're not talking to them, you're just playing with them? Well, we're talking in the sort of language of energy. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, because dolphins can't actually, they don't know English as far as we know.

No, as far as we know, but they do make sounds, don't they? Yeah. I thought that that's what you meant when you say you can talk to animals. You just mean you can feel? Communicate in an energetic level. Yeah. I mean, if there was an animal behaviorist there that could tell us stuff, fine. But really, I don't want them in the way because this is our time. But also, what are they going to say? Yeah, this dolphin that's nuzzling up against you

thinks you're all right. He likes you. This dolphin that's playing bat and ball miraculously, he loves playing bat and ball with you. Just ball I think. You bring bats in, there's an element of danger there. And then it's somersaults, backflips off the boat. For you and Keanu. Yes, not the dolphins. Is that something that you have done and you can do? I can do a front flip off the boat.

I can land on my belly. When I did it, Rob Delaney had a birthday once in the reservoir. What? Yeah, in the reservoir somewhere. Anyway, and I jumped off the side thinking it would be fun. It was really cold actually. Oh, because he's a cold swimmer, isn't he? He's a cold swimmer, yeah. And I jumped off the decking to try and do a forward roll.

And I didn't want anyone to see, I just wanted to see if I could do it. So it wasn't showing off, it was more like the opposite, like I hope no one watches me. Just a secret somersault. And then I made such a crashing sound as my belly hit the water out of my face that everyone looked around and asked if I was okay. Oh, you've got to try it, haven't you? Yeah, it's a shame when it's public, but yeah, I mean, I can't get the reservoir access to myself. You are quite, you are very athletic though, I can't get the reservoir access to myself.

You are very athletic though, aren't you? You are quite a gymnast. No, I'm really bad at it, but I'll keep having a go. You just keep having a go because you're a roller skater. No, I'm not anymore. I haven't done that for like two years. I only did it for a little bit and then yeah, I'm still waiting to find my sort of thing, my sport. Are you a snowboarder? Yeah, I am. I'm all right at that, actually.

I am all right at that. Yeah. Egg and spoon race, I was very good at when I was younger. I would like to have, we should have like a sports day. Oh, that would be great. Yeah. Why don't they do that for sport relief? Yeah.

Why is it always actual sports? We should have a sport, we should have a comedian sports day. Yeah, it's staring us in the face. Oh my God, the writing's on the wall. Yeah, how easy is it to get six spoons or something? Sacrifice. Yeah. Yeah.

Televised sports day. They probably have done it with reality stories. You don't even need a wheelbarrow. You are the wheelbarrow. Quite right. So what else happens after the summer salts, Lou? Then we're actually going to meet some friends for a late lunch. Okay. So we're moving into lunchtime territory. We've had a long leisurely morning out with the dolphins with Keanu. I'm starting to get hungry again. Can you, just before we go into lunch, I'm interested in the artistic creative process of Lou Sanders

of a day. Obviously this, I was going to say how this goes, but are you a morning person normally? Well, I heard from someone via someone else, don't do your admin. I think this was someone told me that, what's her name? She's so good. She does a crunk. Cunk? Cunk, yeah.

Diane Morgan. You called me. Yeah. She said, someone told me that she said on the thing, she didn't say to me that don't do any of your admin in the morning, just get up and write. Which makes sense, but I have to do all the admin first, all the cleaning first, everything first and then when I've got five minutes at the end, I'll try and do something creative. I create out of desperation.

You create out of desperation? Yeah. It's like when the deadline's right up to the wire and then I'm like, okay, well, I will have to find this in the depths of my soul now. I'm one way or the other. What I like to do is deliver early, like get it done really quickly so people are like, oh my God, how did she get this done so fast? Oh, because it's bad. Oh, because it just exists. It isn't good. It just exists. And your expectations have been lowered by how quickly it's been delivered, as have mine. And we're all taking this in

the manner in which it should be taken, which is something that's been done very quickly. That's funny because if you took your car into a garage and they sort of drove it around the block and dropped it back and went, here we go, you got it early, you're welcome. With the back through hanging off, yes, but you've got it back early. It's like when your food arrives in a restaurant really quickly and you're like, where is that? Yeah, where's that come from? Did you cook this? Is that someone else's?

And then there is a sweet spot right at the end, but everything else in the middle is just a sort of slow panic really, isn't it? Yeah, I can do it. I mean, the thing is sometimes I overcook it. So this tour show, I've been writing it for a year, like it was ready in some form a year ago. And then I've just changed it, changed it, changed it, made it worse, made it better, made it worse, made it better. And then you can't see the whiff of the trees and you're like, I don't know. I just don't know anymore. But at some point you have to like, just do it.

Just get on with it. Yeah. I don't know if I can really relate to scripts, but I just sometimes I'm like, I don't know if it's better the longer you work on it. No, I know. I think sometimes it is, by the end it is, but all that middle bit in between, I don't know, man. I know, I know. I think you have to sort of break, you end up breaking it apart. It goes through such

a process, doesn't it, of, as you say, getting worse, getting better, getting worse, getting better. And then you just don't know, you just don't know anymore. Like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. But then don't know anymore. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But then you will know because you'll take it out. I wait for someone else to know. Wait for the audience to know. Yeah. I wait for an executive that's never written anything in their life to tell me.

Isn't this any good? Hopefully a man. Are you writing anything else at the moment? Well, no. My tour, I'm starting a new podcast, a podcast in a sauna. Are you? Yeah. It's called a podcast in a sauna, a psychic told us to do it because the psychic did tell us to do it, but not in the sauna.

The sauna is actually coming on Monday. Stick that in the sauna. So the sauna is actually coming on Monday, stick that in the garden. I've got a legal case on the go with the second sauna I sent back. Mastercard have reversed that money. So I got an email, I went to my junk that said, you're about five grand over draw and we'd be charging you by the day. And I thought, oh, I don't love the vibe of this. That's for a sauna in Estonia. So trying to deal with that. So we're from having no saunas to two saunas, which isn't ideal.

So you've got two saunas just out the back of your hand. I've got one sauna and I've got another sauna I've paid for that's in Estonia. Right. So I've just seen two magpies on the roof. So I think it's all going to pan out okay. Two for Joy. It's hard to talk about this because it is not a relatable problem.

Having a couple of saunas and one of them's in Estonia. You're being five grand overdrawn because you've accidentally bought two saunas. People can't relate. I can relate to that. I accidentally bought two trampolines at Christmas. Oh, that's not a mistake. One of them's just still in my husband's office. Well, this is perfect because you can trampoline together.

A couple that jump together. Stay together. Yeah, stay together. Yeah. Lump together. Yeah, I know. Or have fun together. I don't know why I didn't go for the rhyme.

I immediately just finished the sentence, the actual route one, which is a shame really for someone who's supposed to be coming up with amusing things to say on a podcast. So, because Cuddle Club stopped. Yeah, that stopped. Why? You ran out of people to cuddle? Yeah, it's that and the, I got a warning from the police to say this flimsy idea of a podcast isn't going to stop us investigating you for going around snuggling everyone. No, the way the

model work went down and I wasn't earning enough money is the truth of it. But also I started that podcast as a joke, like the title, and then I got increasingly embarrassed to ask someone to come on a podcast called Cuddle Club. Really? Yeah, that's the truth of it. What do you think about that? I think that's just such a shame. I think it was so good. I get embarrassed quite easily about everything I've done. Really? Yeah, in a way, but then I also think we should have no shame and part of me thinks, oh, fuck it, who cares? We're all going to die. Do you know what I mean? I do know exactly what you mean. If you think too hard about anything, I know. It's excruciating. You can make anything embarrassing though, can't you?

Yeah, yeah. But also, I don't judge other people really, like when they do stuff. I judge them a bit if they're getting off with someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't really like that. That's where the line is. Yeah. Kid stuff, I'd judge that. What do you mean? Pedo stuff, I would judge that. Oh. I would judge that. What else? I think sexism and racism, I would judge that. There's quite a lot I still judge actually. But if someone says that someone made a goose of themselves

and they say what they've done, I just think, well, yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah. I definitely think that having a podcast called Cuddle Club falls into that category. Do you get a shame over from the book or anything? No, weirdly no. And I've been so honest in that book, I didn't give a shit about that. I said so many honest things in that book and loads of people said to me, why on earth would you commit that to print? But I don't.

Really? Yeah. Because it's true. Because it's true and I think there there's, there's, there's a freedom in that and there's a freedom in owning it, but also because I was able to contextualize it and get it out as my, my, from my, you know, this is why I think this happened, da da da da. I don't really care. I love that book so much. And I think that's why I think I just responded to how honest it was. It was

so detailed and so specific. And it was really inspiring because I think it made me think, oh, you can't like, you can be that honest. You can't dare to be that honest, actually. And I wish everyone though, well, that's why I like stuff like girls. Do you remember when you first saw girls back Do you remember when you first saw girls back in the day and you were like, oh my God, this is so good because it's so honest? I'm like, yeah, I do like that stuff. But I'm not really embarrassed about cuddle club really, but yeah, I just think if you're doing something ironically, like calling something a cuddle club and it's all about cuddles as a joke, if people don't get that, it does

sound mad actually. Yeah, but fuck them. Yeah, fuck them. Anyway, the sauna one, is it with somebody else? Yeah, it's my friend Georgie who lives nearby. So we're just interviewing people in the sauna. And it's just, it's like, is a comedian's interview, is it comedians or just anybody? Well, sometimes it'll be guests, sometimes it won't. It is about alternative stuff. So it's things like, you know, I'm going to speak to a pet psychic, see if they're any good.

She's going to get someone to talk to her womb, you know, so it's things like that. Love that. And a psychic told you to do it? She said to Jordi, you're going to be, so Jordi works in TV, but they were always trying to get her the other side of the camera. And she was always like, no, no, no, honestly, I'll be bad. And they were like, no, you're such a big person. I'll see you so bubbly, you know. And then she'd go the other side of the camera and absolutely everyone was like, oh, right. Yes, you've climbed up there.

You've gone mute. But then the psychic said to her, oh, I see you like playing big rooms in a swivel chair with your friend, like talking to those people and those people want to hear what you've got to say. She's like, really? Me? And then she's like, yeah, yeah. And then someone else told her, another witch that we know, something similar along those lines. And the first sidekick said, you'll be doing it with your friend who already does that sort of stuff. And, um... She went to Catherine Ryan and she was too busy.

Yeah, exactly. So, um... And here we are. And you've got two saunas. Well, that's, that's brilliant. And I look forward to being in that sauna with you. Right. Tell me about this perfect lunch, please, Lou. Okie dokie. Pig and pokey. It is, uh. It's a perfect scenario, hot and cold. Hot is better for your colon, of course. We're still in Hawaii, are we? Yeah, I think we are, but we've flown out quite a lot of people. Oh yeah. Sorry to the environment, but they're not going to walk there. It's just friendships. It's lovely

friendships. It's bonding. It's a giggle. It's lovely friendships. It's bonding. It's a giggle. It's a giggle fest. Can you name names? No, I just think I can name the vibe. It's just a fun vibe. It's the nearest and dearest.

Yes, the nearest and dearest is his friends. It's my friends. Zero family. No, it can be family as well. But it's just whoever's round that's fun. There's some games going on because it's a long lunch. People are drinking, people are snoozing, it's in the sun, it's water games, water polo, it's bananagrams. We probably have got like a Tarot card reader or something there as well. You're just popping in and out.

It's sort of like, I mean, it's like a sort of kindergarten, an adult kindergarten. There's different areas. There's guesties, there's besties, and there's a banana boat. A banana boat to pop it all on. Yeah, and banana grams and banana drinks. Right. of drinks. Right, come on then Lou. Let's have your perfect afternoon. Ooh, we're edging into the afternoon. You know, I said there was a tarot card reader there. Yes, there's another woman there and she is a white witch, full of good energy. And she said, don't worry about the war, don't

worry about the world, the environment. The aliens are coming down to save us. Oh, you read my mind. It really, I read your mind. And it does put a spring in everyone's step. It does. It does. It does. But I mean, these people exist. Have you been told this? No, I've got very mixed messages about Donald Trump from The Last Healer, but she can't really speak English. So I was trying to sort of read between the lines. Oh, right. The problem with the alien thing, as far as I can tell out there in the community, is that they're like humans.

Some of them are bad and some of them are good. No, damn it. I thought they were just going to come and sort of say, you know, look, you've sort of balls this up really, but we're going to take over from now for a bit. I hope so. And it's sort of like, I don't know we're going to take over from now for a bit. I hope so. And it's sort of like, I don't know what they do because they're law unto themselves, but it's all with a light. It's all lovely jubbly. And then we sort of start again from an ecological

point of view and, and late capitalism, of course, that's out the window. Yeah. Well, that's got to go, hasn't it? That's got to go. That's got to go at some point. It's all about seeds, trees, sunsets. Yeah, well it will be. It will be soon, of course, when it all burns to the ground. There will be nothing left.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm hoping to sort of bypass all the pain, suffering and death by getting some of the green men down. I'm not doing it, but I'm just hearing about it. And I'm thinking, oh, that's lovely. That is. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm with you. I actually genuinely love the thought of aliens coming to just figure this all out. We're going to need something. And then sort of, you know, you Elon Musk, you dark powers that sort of melts into something

else and transforms into, I don't really know. I don't have all the answers, but like I say, this woman, she's got the answers and she's got evidence. Right. Okay. So she's got a portfolio, hard file full of evidence. Objective proof. Yes. Your pickies. Your cynical Sallys are getting on board with the new future, we can all relax. How much do you think you approach psychics to sort of like, how much of it is tongue in cheek for you or is it?

I don't go to psychics. I tend not to try and find out the future, although it's very tempting because it's just one person's read on it. I don't know that they can tell that much. I think you can rewrite your destiny and your fate anyway to a certain extent, but I think the big things are mapped out. So if you were going to have a kid, if you were going to get married, if you were going to... Who you meet from your soul group, I think all that is kind of mapped out, but I think you can change the smaller stuff maybe. Right. So it would be pointless going to see a psychic anyway.

Well, also it gets in your head. I've never really had a good, I think people go because they want to try and control the future. And what I'm trying to do is just trust that it's going to be okay whichever way it sort of unfolds, even though that's really, really hard to do. And I don't, I'm not saying I've nailed that. I haven't at all because I do worry. But I guess the ultimate is to kind of know like a little Buddha, well, this might be good, this might be bad, but I'll be able to handle it.

And what is good, what is bad, I guess. That's all labeling. Let's move on, shall we? Yeah, well, we've wrapped up the afternoon very nice. and what is good, what is bad, I guess. That's all labeling. Let's move on, shall we? Yeah, well, we've wrapped up the afternoon very nicely. We've wrapped up the afternoon and we'll move on and hear Lou Sanders' Perfect Evening Night. Evening, okay. Everyone tells me I look like such a bobby dazzler. I'm in a lovely dress. Everyone's like, wow, you look incredible. And I'm like, oh my God. And they're like,

you're glowing. It's because you're in love. And then Keanu's like, I'm in love. Anyway. And then, and it's with me. Anyway. And then all of our friends are still there. But we're going to, well, hang on a minute. Can we go to the snow dome snowboarding? Of course you can. You can do whatever you want. Well, in that case, wait, I'm not in my evening gown yet. I'm actually in my casuals. And we go to a snow dome. It's real snow. We've got an instructor there who's going to teach us all the park tricks. That's what I really want to do. I just went snowboarding for gigs and Harriet Kemsley is a very good snowboarder. She's so fast.

CHARLEYY We had her on. She was talking about it actually. That was in her perfect day. NICOLA She is smashing down those mountains. And I like going a little bit slower and just sort of goobering around off the sides and everything. And I was trying to find this gate, the park, the snow park for the first three days and no one's heart was in it. We didn't find it. On the last day, we got trying to a guy at lunch. He took us up to the snow park. My friend didn't want to go, so she went to find a sister. Fine. So me and him were in the snow park. It's perfect. This isn't in my perfect day. This is just a perfect day. I had a few weeks ago,

lucky old me. So he's jumping on the boxes and everything. And because he was doing it, I was following him and I was doing it as well. So just these like little boxes or like a ridge up and a ridge down or whatever. And it was so fun. And I was like, this is what I wanted to do every time I go snowboarding, but no one wants to come with me. And it was, oh my God, there were rails, there was everything. And then the moguls and everything. That sounds so cool. I was having the time of my life and we were quite matched to each other's psychability. Then I was like, right, we'll go up again and again.

We can go up like three or four more times before the lift shuts. And then fog descended and we couldn't see a thing. We had to get down the mountain. So sad. No. I know, so I want to go for a snowboarding course for a week or something with someone who's gonna teach me

how to do like all the jumps and boxes and everything. My friend said I'm too old, but I don't subscribe to that. You are not too old. Go snowboarding. No, I think he meant more like you start in the park quite young because you've got no fear. So I think he meant like flying through the air doing somersaults and stuff might be a bit beyond me. But I get a kick just from like, you know, jumping up and grabbing the board or something, which I wouldn't do on the really high ones, but once I built up to it, I would, hopefully, in my head I would. I think that's so, you're an inspiration, Lou, because when did you start snowboarding?

Well, actually when I was 18, I went to university, if you can believe, and it was in the bottom 10, whatever, but they had a snowboarding class each week and we'd go to the dry slope in Hamilton and I would get battered. I would get off my face and I was lethal and not in a good way. And yeah, so we'd just go and do that once a week. And I think there was one trip on a coach that we went on. Yeah, so from then I've sort of gone, I didn't go for years. I didn't go for maybe like 10 years when I started comedy.

And then because I was taking my risks on stage. And then I went back so recently. But I only go once a year for like four days or something, like tie in with a gig. But I really want to go and do a course, I think. So on your perfect evening, you're going to the snow dome. With everyone, with lots of friends. They love snowboarding, all the people that love snowboarding. Snow dome and then ball gown on. And then ball gown on, which isn't my usual way, but it's nice to have a bit of everything, you know? Yeah. We're eating fake prawns, fake mussels. Oh,

we're eating a lot of seafood, but it's somehow vegan. It's creamy sauces, cheese sauces, but they're vegan. If you love seafood so much, but you can't bring yourself to eat it because of the spirits of animals. Yeah, and it's got eyes and it's a bit weird. I always think about a thing whenever I eat meat, I think about you saying to me, because I was like, I mean, I was having a conversation with you about how I was eating less meat and you were like, yeah, great, because it just makes you feel so much better, doesn't it? I was like, it actually does. And whenever I eat meat now, I feel a bit like heavy and you were like, yeah, because you've got a lot of dead animal in your stomach.

Yeah, you're carrying death around you. Yeah. Yeah. I've never forgotten it, Lou. It's funny how the little things you say to people stick in your head, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's weird.

It's a weird concept, I suppose. What eating meat? Yeah, it is a bit weird because I watch all these videos. I think my algorithms on Instagram are just things like a man who's friends with a pig, you know, that sort of thing. And it's, you know, it's a dog is best friends with a goat. You know, it's all that. But the classic echo chamber.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's gorgeous. And pigs are so clever. I watched one the other day where a pig, you know those buttons that you can get for your dog or whatever and it says vegetable or, and they can, you can program them to be different things. So the pig's going vegetable, vegetable. So it gets the vegetable, it wants another one, it keeps pressing the button. And then it's friend, whatever, you know, it's living with its flatmate. It's like, you can't just keep having a vegetable, no more, no more. And

then the pig's dropped off in a mood and slams the door. And they've got the average age of like 10, 10 years of a five-year-old. And sometimes I cheat on veganism and I really hate myself for it, only with like dairy, but still, it's still the same sick industry. And then I picture this cow running after its calf when they're taking the calf away in this truck and the cows running down to try and get his baby and it, oh my God. And it's like, why am I eating fondue in France when I know about this? So, Lou, we've had, have we wrapped up your perfect, is there anything else in your notes? No, I don't think so. I think that's it.

It's a lovely perfect day. Oh, Keanu Reeves cries so much because he loves me so much. He's constantly crying. He's always crying because he loves you so much. Yeah. Is that a cool, is that quite a cool day? It's a really cool day. I've written a man crying in because he loves me so much. Is that cool? I think that's cool. I think it might be cool. It's quite a high bar to get someone to cry because they love something so much. Is that cool? I think that's cool. It's quite a high bar to get someone to cry because they love something so much. Hey Lou, we've got one last little bonus question for you. What's a piece of perfection you can

recommend this week? Oh, Anteine Bakes by Glennon Doyle. Oh yeah, okay great. Glennon Doyle. She's like a Brené Brown type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop pleasing, start living. Love that. And I loved it. She writes with such depth. It is incredible. It's a shame we're in comedy because it just cuts out the sincere market. But she's so sincere. It brings a tear to my eye. That's so sincere, it brings a tear to my eye.

That's so funny, Lou. Well, I think you are very funny and sincere. Thank you. Sincerely, I mean that. And I think you're a wonderful lady, really absolutely wonderful. Thanks mate. Thank you for coming on Perfect Day, Lulu Sanders. Have a lovely tour. I'll see you in Leeds.

Good luck with your sauna. It's called an indemnity claim, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you in court. I'm going to say to him. There we have it. That was Lou Sanders. I absolutely love that lady. Thank you to Lou for sharing her very cool perfect day with the world. Keanu's a lucky man, isn't he? What else can I say to you? Get yourselves out to see Lou on a new tour, No Kissing in the Bingo Hall. Buy her book. What's that lady doing? It's an absolute masterclass in honesty. And come back next week. Brand new episodes every Thursday.

I've had some delightful emails this week by the way. I've loved reading them. I read all the good ones. Likewise, the reviews. I really, really appreciate you leaving reviews. It really helps us. And I just love to hear what you think and get your feedback. I'd love to know who you want on as a guest.

I'd love to know who you want on as a guest. I'd love to hear your Perfect Days. I'd love to hear your pieces of perfection recommendations. If you have questions I can read them out. So get in touch. Every day a perfect day at gmail.com. I'll try to read and reply to as many of them personally as I can. And follow us on at Perfect Daycast for all your Perfect Day news. That's it from Yorkshire with Love, I'm Jessica Knappett wishing you a perfect day.