PHNX Arizona Diamondbacks Podcast - Is there a better way to spend 5 hours of your life than running the bases after hitting home runs?

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

As the Arizona Diamondbacks season winds down, we are reminiscing about our favorite Zack Greinke stories and snake drafting better ways to spend five hours of your life than rounding the bases after hitting 700 home runs like Albert Pujols.BUY D-BACKS TICKETS HERE: https://gametime.hnyj8s.net/c/3442941/1410622/10874 SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/phnx_youtubeALL THINGS PHNX: http://linktr.ee/phnxsports DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now (https://bit.ly/3Jl1dMX), use promo code PHNX and make your first deposit of FIVE DOLLARS and get TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS in FREE BETS INSTANTLY! For every leg you add you can boost your winnings up to ONE HUNDRED percent!If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisiscounseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visitOPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min. $5 deposit required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.OGeez!: Enter the “Flavoring Life” sweepstakes. One winner will receive 3 bags of OGeez, an OGeez! Hat, a PHNX shirt of your choice, and a PHNX annual membership. Sign up at gophnx.com or visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfIplqDYsxYeiotn5Zc6hRahaX0a5qG99eHVzkhOlGZDRdgUA/viewform. Must be 21 years or older to purchase.Four Peaks: Enter to win the “Toast of the Month” sweepstakes to win a $50 Four Peaks gift card, a PHNX shirt of your choice, and a PHNX annual membership. Go to goPHNX.Com or visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfOabxo8KQxOWwn9wTilMBuTMAJdrL0CaH9lzfuJqgKN9vfSg/viewform Must be 21 or older. Enjoy responsibly.  Bad Birdie: use code “PHNX” to take 15% off your next Bad Birdie order! https://glnk.io/7qnq/phnx-sportsMor Furniture: Sit in the same seats we do! Check out https://morfurniture.comUnderdog Fantasy: Sign up for Underdog Fantasy today! Go to the link https://play.underdogfantasy.com/p-phnx and use promo code “PHNX” to receive a deposit match up to $100Liquid Death: Get free shipping on all water and merch at https://LiquidDeath.com/PHNX FOCO: FOCO has you covered with the best Arizona Merchandise. Head on over to foco.com. For all non pre-sale items use the promo code “PHNX” for 10% offWhen you shop through links in the description, we may earn affiliate commissions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Beenvenitos to Brazil and to all of you. And welcome here to the PHNX. Pandering. Pandering. We are the number three most downloaded baseball podcasts in the country of Brazil. And we love you guys for it. Of course, this isn't Jesse. My name is Derek Monti, occasionally known as the mayor of PHNX.

This guy is Jacob Franklin, occasionally knows and Fajg, aka Father Overlord Jacob. And we thank you guys. for being here with us. Of course, this show is brought to you by the fine folks of the Drafking Sportsbook app. America's top rated sportsbook app. Faj, Jesse is no longer with us. No, and I think we upgraded the style without Jesse here. There is a lot of style going on here. There's a lot of style. These shirts almost complement each other perfectly, and it wasn't planned at all. And I don't like what's going on here, to be frank, because I think I showed you up. I really feel like you did. I think I showed you up. I'm wearing little jeeps and you got on all of this.

Of course, I couldn't not show you up, though, because of our new sponsor, and that's Bad Birdie. And we just partnered with Bad Birdie, so I decided to flaunt all of the new goods on today's show. And Derek seems really upset because he wasn't included. Derek, let me paint you a picture yesterday. So this box comes in, and Max, our sales guy, is actually not here yesterday when the box shows up for him. And our general manager, Saul picks the box up from the front door, and he says, what's Bad Birdie? And I said, oh, boy. around for a little bit.

Saul, so Saul, Saul goes, what's bad birdie? And Saul, for anybody who doesn't know, is an avid golfer, loves to golf. Avid.

And he's really good at golf. And he's probably the best golfer in the in the network. No, no, not even just the office. Yes, he claimed that it was the network.

Best golfer in the network. You hear that? CHGO and DNVR? That's a challenge right there. That's a challenge waiting to happen. So Saul goes, What's Bad Birdy? And Shane,

Sean and myself, who all had shirts in the box just looked at Saul and we said, we're really sorry. We're really sorry that we have to get all of this brand new merchandise that you can get to using code PHA. 10% off if you go to bad birdie.com. You can get anything, including this shirt, which I think is the best shirt on this show. But yeah, Saul was extremely upset. But Derek, if I'm painting the picture correctly, and I know this is going on for a really long time, was swarming the box as well.

He's looking around. He's grabbing the hats and he's saying, is this hat up for grabs? No, Derek, that hat's not up for grabs. That hat was for us. Accurate depiction of my golf game. Bad. That's all I've got to say. Oh, so that's it.

That's the end of your story. That's the big climax is just telling everybody how I didn't get anything. And then I should just... And then I am the best looking person on this podcast today. I instantly regret even inviting you on this show, Fajad. But I guess. This is what happens when the Diamondbacks have a day off. This guy comes on here.

He runs his mouth. He tries to outdress me. I do. I don't try. I do outdress you. Rest in peace, Jesse. We love you and miss you so much. I mean, rest in Seattle.

That's where he is. He's not dead. Jesse's just not here. And yes, Faj is looking to sharp. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, I just wanted to make sure everybody knew that. But there was actually Faj, one award recipient that we have not discussed yet on the Arizona Diamondbacks. The other day, they gave out their Writers Awards.

They also gave out their minor league team awards to the Brandon Fought. and Corby and Carroll, but Dalton Varsho is the 2002 recipient of the Luis Gonzalez Award. Do they have any description about the Louise Gonzalez Award? It's established in 2015. Wait, wait, it recognizes Faj, the player who best exemplifies the talents, spirit, and heart of D-BAC's legend, Luis Gonzalez, both on and off the field. We're getting stared at. What the hell does that even mean? What do you want?

What is Saul Bookman what? He didn't get the shirt yesterday and then Derek got me for eating for it. Oh, here you go. And Jacob, we go jump off a clip because he's got the shirt. Into a lake. He does not want me to die. Okay, see, here's the point. This is what happens.

This is how society breaks down, right? They didn't give me a shirt yesterday. So now I have to ask people if they get lunch. But see, now, Saul is leaving for lunch right now and he's not going to bring me back. It's not going to bring me back. himself. Oh, because you got a hat and a shirt. This is what happens.

See, we had peace and love in the office last week, and I'm sure that had nothing to do with Saul not being here, but that's a whole other story. Anyway, moving on. What the hell does it mean for Luis Gonzalez to be, like, for you to exemplify Louise Gonzalez? That's such a weird. He's a great guy. First and foremost.

Oh, like, I'm not. Great guy. I am not dragging Luis Gonzalez. He is the best guy. Not only is he the best guy, but Luis Gonzalez. as you guys know, I just said it yesterday. I idolized the man. He let me cut in front of him at Dutch Brothers.

Let me tell you, he didn't even need to hit the single that won the World Series. He didn't need to do that. He did. I mean, I don't complain about... Just letting me cut him in line in Dutch Brothers, that's enough for me to think of you as a legend. Right, but he did need to do that because what other team in Arizona, other than the Mercury and the Rattlers have won anything? Oh, I don't... So, like, I think it was pretty necessary.

Okay, that's fine. That's not the point, though. I'm just saying to achieve legendary status, just letting me cut you in line, and Dutch brothers is enough. But Faj, if someone made an award in your honor, what the hell would that mean? What would the Franklin,

Jacob Franklin Award be? What would it exemplify? Would it, I already know, like, tidiness would be a part of it. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I think this is a better question for Leah. who I am, like Leah is, I am Leah's boss. So what exemplifies an award if people were to give an award out for me?

Giving appreciation. I appreciate you, Leah. I appreciate you. I do say that to a lot of people. Yeah. That is like my go-to. Like, Derek, I appreciate you. Yeah, I don't feel sincere anytime you say it to me either.

I don't know about anybody else, but. What did I do to Derek? To make him feel like that that wasn't sincere. It's the eye contact you make and the lingering look that you give me that makes me feel. Derek, I appreciate. you. That's a little bit better. I appreciate that. What about, what would, I mean, what about some of our coworkers? Okay. So you don't want to do your own. Okay. What would, what would the Saul Bookman Award exemplify? Getting really angry over not getting T-shirts and food. Right. I can't disagree with that.

But his, like, it has to be a leadership award. Like, he's a great leader. Yeah. Like, if we're going to get really sentimental here, Saul Bookman's a great leader. And so, like, that, that exemplifies, like, you have to exemplify great leadership. So if you're getting a Saul Bookman award. Like mine is organization. If I really had to give one, it's like if you're a really good and organized individual that is really kind to people, not to like pat myself on the back, but I really try and pride myself on the fact that like I do not treat people poorly because that's just not in my MO. I really dislike doing that. Like I feel like I'm a really fair individual.

Very true. So like, yeah, like I think like and then if you're going ESPO, it's the creative award. Right. Like if we're going ESPO, he's like the super creative individual. I feel like we need to establish these awards now. Like you're putting a lot of thought and effort into it. Like who would the Heart and Hustle Award around here be? The Heart and Hustle Award?

Yeah, like who would that exemplify? Who would whose name would go on that one? David. David. Wow. Shout out David who's in this room right now. That's not biased at all, but David's a heart and hustle guy. He's kissing all sorts of ass and I don't appreciate it.

But yes, we're, that's, I still don't know what the Louis-Skonsa award is. The Jesse Friedman, but actually award. No, you just have to have a sick Toyota Rav-4 to be a Jesse Friedman. Let me tell you about it. It's not just a sick rap four. You got to make sure it has all-wheel drive. That's the part that's really difficult to find. But no Bluetooth.

So necessary in Phoenix for our hard winters. No Bluetooth? No Bluetooth? He has no Bluetooth in his wrap four. Oh, he doesn't need Bluetooth because he's got that ox cord. Ox cord. Ox cord. What year is it?

2010? It's a 2008. Oh. Yeah. I was saying what year is it currently? Oh, yeah. The point was made. Well, Jesse lives in 2008.

That's the point we're trying to make. He hasn't seen any movie at all, so that makes sense. Do you ever think about the Jonas Brothers' year 3000 song and actually think about what the year 3000 is going to be like? I think the sun will have exploded by then. Don't start quoting old songs and stuff to me. That just immediately shows my age because I don't even, the idea that I would know a Jonas Brothers song alone as you look at me is like an insult.

But that's just because I'm not, I mean, I'm not young person anymore. But like, the year 3000 is a song that everybody should know. Into the year 3,000. Jacob, we're going to get copyrighted. Come on. Right. He doesn't let me use clips. An accurate depiction.

Okay. All right. Just a heads up to the chat that this show might really get off the rails. This is what happens when the Diamondbacks don't play baseball. Can you imagine what the off season is going to be like? There are D-backs minor leaguer. How am I even going to say this name? Camdenack,

best swing at that, but played all nine positions in last night's Reno Aces game and you gotta give them credit for that. Like this is incredible. He'd played all eight up until this point where he came into the game and pitched for the Reno Aces.

Now mind you, yes, we know it's this time of the year. We know the Aces are not playing for anything. They've already clinched their division. And they're going to the playoffs. But like they did just set a... club record for wins. Like, I feel like they are playing for something. Well, they're definitely playing for something.

That's the reason why Alex Thomas is said. But you just said they're not playing for anything. Just not right now. Like, not right now. They are. Three games. They just set a club record for wins in a year. Like, you're playing for something at that point.

Are you when you're putting a guy in all nine positions? Can we see the video? Leah, let's see this guy. Derek, I'm pretty sure he, you know, like he played all nine positions, but I'm not sure he played them as well as Will Farrell did. Well, no, that's definitely not the case. I was there for that. Yeah, a few people can. But he did play them in a game.

He did. The game that matters, too. Like, spring training, like, for, I know that, like, in Arizona we're spring training lovers. But spring training is like, me, I don't really like. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it doesn't matter. You're not wrong about that.

But it's still a lot of fun to watch here in Arizona. That's why we're excited about the Arizona Fall League, too. but, you know, I know, Reno Aces, again, they're trying to arrest people is what they're trying to do at this point. They're trying to be ready for the playoffs, and that's why they stole Alec Thomas away. That's the real reason why Alec Thomas was sent down.

Trying to help the Aces win that champion. That's meaningful at bats. It's meaningful at bats. That's as we've said, of course. But we thank you guys for being here with us, and if you haven't done so already, make sure to grab yourself a PHNX membership over at go phnx.com.

Get yourself an annual membership. You'll get your free t-shirt from the PHNX Locker.com Like Cody back here behind us or any sure of your choice. If you get the month-to-month option, you'll get your first month for just 50 cents. Regardless of your membership access, you will get access to our members-only Discord and our members-only discounts over at the PHNX Locker.com. We appreciate you guys being here in the chat with us. Hello to everybody.

Josh Hunt is here. So everything's good as long as you guys. Help us get off the rails, chat. Yeah, please. Like, that's my fault. There's one of us whose fault this is, and it's definitely not mine. It's the guy that one ups me with his clothes. But if you like Jacob's outfit, make sure to leave us a thumbs up.

And also subscribe to the PHNXports YouTube channel. Sign up for notifications. That way you don't miss whenever we go live. If you're listening right now in your favorite audio podcasting app, make sure to subscribe to us there and leave us a five-star review. We want to thank our friends again at more furniture, by the way, for this table, everything that we have in this office furnishing our wonderful office. and mostly for the recliners.

I thank them every morning when I wake up and I come here. I get to sit in those recliners. And you can spruce up your house and get ready for football season as well during More Furniture's fall sale over at morefurniture.com. Jacob, what's going on? What's going on? The Chad told me to pop your button, but I can't. Let's do this.

Let's go. We're going to open shirt, Derek. We might get censored on YouTube. Let's go. Jacob Perr a tweet from at MLB random stats MLB, I know a lot of you guys have seen this. Albert Pooleholz has spent over five hours of his life just running the bases after hitting home runs.

As Jeremy Frank there says, Albert Pooleholst's average home run trot over the years, it has been tracked by Stackass as 26 seconds. Extrapulated over his full career, Pullholz has spent just over five hours of his life running the bases after hitting a home run. that's a lot of time. It's a lot of time wasted of your life or is it wasted?

Is it wasted? I mean, he made a lot of money in those five hours. And I mean, is that what better way could you spend your time in those five hours than trotting the bases celebrating yourself and your accomplishments in that 26 seconds every single time than running the bases? But with that being said, I think that we're going to do a little snake drafting and we are going to determine our favorite ways to spend five hours of. time and I think we're going to get some help from Leah Leah you want to get

on this joining yeah I'm gonna also join the draft all right for transparency I've put our three names in a wheel spinner so we'll see who is gonna be the first pick it's random David is here watching the wheels spin please please all right Derek gets the first pick hang it should I spin again to see who's again no no no no no spin again this is like spin again this is not this person go second or should they go last? Second. Okay, it's Derek again.

It's rigged. It's rigged. It's rigged. It's been a third time, Leah. Okay, one more time. After that, you just get to choose whether you want second or third overall pick. All right. Okay.

It's me. So. Choose what you would like. Well, I'll go third. It's the better position. Derek, Derek and I looked at each other earlier today and had this very ominous, like both of us said that there was a, a really obvious first overall pick here, so I'm going to be extremely upset if he takes

something that I really want. With my number one overall pick, I'm taking a road trip to Vegas. So just the road trip, though, because in five hours, you only get to Vegas, you don't get to do anything in Vegas. Come on. In five hour. The five hour road trip to Vegas is a much, I'm saying that is a great way to spend time. You are going to Vegas. Oh, now we're qualifying things. So what? Oh, no, we can argue. I can only go halfway in the I'm gonna have to turn around and go back. No, no, you can make it to Vegas in five hours, but like, that is the use of your five hours.

That's the point is road trips to Vegas are incredible. They are the best, the road trips to Vegas are the best. You are going to Vegas. When are you more excited to be in a car with your friends going somewhere? Okay. No, I mean, sure, San Diego, but like, no, it's, you picked, you picked a road trip to Vegas. You take your place, I'm taking five.

Sleep. A nap or sleep? No, just sleep. I'd sleep for five hours. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good. It's on my list. It's on my list. I won't lie. Okay. Well, I don't want Jacob yelling at me, qualifying the things because the thing about driving five hours of Vegas is then you're in Vegas.

So that's all. Because my first. We don't consider what happens after those five hours. Yeah, but is a good use of your time. I like driving long distances. It's not a long distance. It's not even a full five hours. Mine is flying across the country. You can get to New York. Five hours. Same thing, right? Qualified, yes. That is qualified.

Leah gets back-to-back picks up. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Okay. Let's see what I want to do next. Okay. Oh, man. I chose this pick for myself, but now I'm under pressure. Let me look at my draft board here.

You can order something on Amazon and get it delivered. Ooh. In the five-hour time. That's elite because that leaves your options open on what you're going to order. And there's a lot of same-day delivery. stuff. That's a great pick. That's a great pick. All right. All right. My next pick. It's something that might not like everybody might not relate to, but like a good round of golf with the boys. A round of golf with the boys. Like you get done in about four and a half hours. Like you fit that within your five hour span. It's really relaxing at times if you're not breaking clubs over your knee.

And you know, like you drink a couple bruskees and you just chill. You may have, you missed a golden opportunity to say a round a golf and bad. Yes. I mean, in bad birdie gear, but that was already implied. Use promo code PHNX, use 10% off in the bad birdie shop. Thank you. Yeah. There you go. All right. So I guess I'm down to, I got two more picks.

I will say take 50 milligram of OGs gummies and watch a Looney Tunes marathon on mute while listening to 36 chambers of Wu on repeat. Oh my God. For five hours. That's dedication, but I like it. Can you repeat that? We is trying to furiously type. So like I did this on purpose just so that Leah would have so much to put. I said take 50 milligrams of OG's gummies.

Watch a Looney Tunes Marathon on mute while listening to 36 Chambers of Woo on repeat. So what was like, okay, so you got really specific with your 15 milligrams. So what like 50 milligrams? So like what was the reasoning behind the specific dosage? The specific dosage was because it's. It's five hours. You have plenty of time to kill, right? Assuming in this five hours of time, you have nothing to do.

So there is a good solid way to spend at least three and a half hours after you've taken the gummies. And not only that, not only that. Like, look, you guys are all video editors in here. Every single one of you. You guys could all link up a video to a rap song very easily and that, whatever. You could make it look great, I'm sure. It's the fun of the randomness of trying to make it link up on a car. tune that you're watching. I don't have to explain this to you. This is a this for people out

there, plenty of people do this. I know this. It's a regular common thing. Oh, no, I'm not. No, I said I liked it. I just was curious as to what the, all right. You get back to back picks. It's still you. I get back to back picks. Okay. So, Smyc Triff works, Derek works. Here's, here's how I'm spending my five hours because I did it and was one of the best ways I've ever spent my day, walking through Central Park in New York. It's an incredible experience, especially in the middle of that city, that entire place does not feel like it belongs. Obviously, this is during the daytime for obvious reasons.

But yeah, there you go. There's my pick. I would play a round of Dungeons and Dragons. Getting really nerdy on this right here. But Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah. Phenomenal game. Are you the Dungeon Master?

No, I'm not the Dungeon Master. And I think that makes it better because Dungeon Masters, like they have to spend weeks prepping, right? They spend so much time prepping And he sets up this whole like online world for us to click our characters around in But like I could easily Spend five hours playing Dungeons and Dragons and not get tired of it Like you can do it. It's just like we're doing right now

Like you can do whatever you want Like he sets up this whole storyline But like if I wanted to go do You know like hang out on the beach and Dungeons and Dragons Like all I'd have to do is roll some dice And be like I want to go hang on on the beach and drink some Pinocaladas And he'd be like dope All right

Leah? All right. You got to? Here's where my nerdy personality comes out. I would listen to the Hamilton soundtrack back to back. Yes. I fully respect that answer. That's phenomenal.

But why just the soundtrack? Why wouldn't you just watch it? Yeah. I guess you could. Yeah. No, but like some people think that the listening experience is better than the viewing experience. I love both. I just didn't even.

I just always forget that it's on Disney Plus because I just have been listening to it for so many. That's a phenomenal pick. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. And how many, how many picks each or five each? We're doing five total. Okay.

So I have one more after this. Let me pull up my draft board. Should have been more prepared. You guys have stolen some of mine. Yeah, I know. Jacob steals mine right before. I mean, I don't know how much more I can steal. I like, I really thought about three of my answers.

And all right. I got all three. And now I'm like really at like I'm hoping she takes a while so that okay I could watch two NHL games back to back on TV That's very on brand that's very on brand for Leah That's very on brand for Leah sir this is tough because like easy because like the travel ones you've seen my My hesitance hesitancy for like travel right so like I assume that we're starting in Arizona if we're like if we're doing a travel like everything has to start here if we're gonna qualify yes i mean it's you can say whatever you want to be honest i'm not going to qualify it if you

have a particular travel destination you're dangerous that's dangerous ground der hey i'm i'm saying we we don't have to be here i'd spend five hours in disneyland oh i almost said that on my last one if i don't have to factor in the hour at the airport 45 minutes of flying drive to the five hours you ride two rides yeah you're going to no you'd go on a day five minutes wait right now for space mountain let's go it's a rainy day there's no lines you can't control the weather in this scenario okay we're just looking at the weather right now all right look at the weather right now if we're talking about this today we have to look at the weather right now i have the Disney app on my phone I'll tell you what the wait times are right now 125 minutes you didn't even look you didn't even look

it's 91 degrees so people probably don't like the season pass holders are probably not there because it's too hot see if you would have said animal kingdom in Disney world that would have been a whole other different thing. But five hours at Disney. Five hours in Disney. Not enough time. Not enough time. Sure, but it's still five hours of Disney.

Here's what I'm going to tell you you have enough time to do in five hours. Pool party with your friends. That is the best amount of time to spend having a pool party with your friends. Think about it. A pool party that starts at three and ends at eight. Like, yeah, I know. There's going to be some late night stragglers. But everybody's going to be so sunburned and everything.

They're going to want to start getting out of here. Drinks, all that kind of stuff happening. That's... Hugs and hugs calling you out. You picked a car ride. I know I picked a car ride. because car rides to Vegas are the best. And if you, look, if you don't have an incredible...

Better than Disney, Derek? Yes, yes, yes. You know why? Because you have five hours. Do you know how much I would stress out waiting in the line for Indiana Jones when that ride all of a sudden breaks down and they're inexplicably not moving anymore?

You have five hours, leave the line. You just spent like 45 minutes waiting at it at that point. No, no, no. These are bad ideas. And that's, no, there's two variables. No way you're going to call me out, per se, going to Vegas is worse than waiting in lines at Disneyland for five hours all day.

But that's it. That's bold. Oh, I got two more. Yeah, you got another one. No, you just have, oh yeah, you just have one more. I just have one more. Yeah, we're doing five each, right? Yeah.

Yeah, this is your last pick. Season one of the Mandalorian. Ooh, there you go. I like that. I like that. Yeah. All right. Go ahead.

Let me think here for a second. Because, like, I really wanted to avoid anything sports. So, like, I really wanted to get, like, philosophical. You literally said play golf as one of your best. But, like, you know, like, watching a sporting event. You know, like that, like, I understand. I understand it.

It is a great use of five hours. And I could do it. Every single, actually, I probably do every single week. I probably watch, like, football on Saturday and Sunday. Like, you tell me you don't watch five hours of football on Saturday and Sunday. Yeah. You're a liar. I would play five hours of Super Smash Bros.

All right. All right. I could play five hours of Super Smash Bros and not get tired of it. I believe you. I believe you. That's more time than I can spend playing it. All right, Leah, you got the final pick. All right.

I would consume a week's worth of PH&X content. What? Handering. What? That was pandering. Yeah, that was pandering. Boo! Which Smash Bros.

That's a great question. I like all of them. And I think they progressively like get better. But the one, I don't know specifically off the top of my head, but the one where the most overpowered character was still Kirby.

Like, that one was elite. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like Kirby could just suck in another one of the and like just become that person. And it was like, cool. Glad you can't, you can't like, nah.

But yeah, that one. I don't remember which. one that is. I think it was like three or four. All right. Well, there you go. Leah might be playing the win. I don't know what's going on here. Does everybody pick five? Yeah, that's it. Yep, that's five.

So we'll throw this up. You guys will inevitably all vote for Leah. And that's fine. I'm fine with that. But good job, everybody. I think those are all great ways to spend your five hours. Well done. Except the Disneyland thing. And I love Disneyland.

Driving to Vegas is just driving through the middle of the butthole of America. No, no, it's really not. How long it takes you God, no way. Bro, if you're telling me you get to Vegas in three hours, I might call the cops on you. Moving on.

Thank you guys so much for joining us. Of course, make sure to check out our sponsors, our friends over OGs because they have something you should all try. And that is their brand new Sleep Edition gummy.

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It's a 2 to 1 THC to CBN ratio that CBN compound specifically helps with falling asleep and staying asleep. And this sleep addition gummy is their new aqua berry flavor, which is delicious, by the way. We highly recommend you checking out OGs. Not only that, but all of their strains, variety flavors. about flavoring life. They have an entire variety of flavors for you. Strange doses to microdose. For those of you that might want to try it for the first time, OGsbrands.com is the place to find them and on Instagram at OG's Brands. You can also find their products at your local dispensary. Must be 21 years or older to purchase. And make sure you guys come out tomorrow. We will all be at

four peaks for our final Wednesday of the month where we all broadcast from the Four Peaks, the 8th Street Pub. We will be out there. We'll be out there. Fosch is going to be out there with me. Enjoy $3 kilt lifters and wild prints when you mention that you are here with PHNX. So make sure to do that. And if you can't be with us, grab some Four Peaks wherever you grab your beer.

And hop online with us. Make sure to watch all the shows all day long. Must be 21 years or older to enjoy and enjoy responsibly. Jacob and I were laughing yesterday at a story that the athletic published about Zet Granky and some of people's favorite moments, favorite anecdotes of Zat Granky. Jesse, the first one. Jesse, Jesse, look it.

Wow. I almost got through the whole show without doing it. Goodbye. Just go ahead and put this one on me. I'll just go ahead and talk about this by myself. Anyway, Jacob, come back. Please, Faj. Please.

You got to understand. I've done 350 episodes with Jesse, and it's hard for me not to call everybody, Jesse. I called Lee and Jesse one day. So it's fine. But what are your thoughts on being around Zach Granky? Because you and I have worked for the debacks for a while. He worked for the debacks.

I've been around Zach Granky a bit. He was always quite the adventure whenever you were going to hear something come out of his mouth. But some of these anecdotes are incredible. And it's really funny because Zach Granky is like widely known in the industry as a guy that you really don't want to talk to. But I feel like that's like the opposite of true. Like I feel like if you can get somebody to open up here, is the person you want to talk to because like he

definitely is just probably the most funny human being that ever has lived like he just is like the most dry and I don't think he here's like the qualifier I don't think he means to be this funny I think he just like says things that come to his head

and off he goes I don't know though I think sometimes he's he's very ruthless and he is trying his best to... He'll crack a smile from time to time. We were interviewing him one time.

I've told this story a bunch of times, but Archie Bradley piped up and had something to say about it, but one of the journalists asked him, what are your thoughts on your teammate Archie Bradley? And without hesitation, he leaned into the mic as close as he could and said, he's a loser.

Just like that, while making contact with Archie Bradley, I believe... That's all right. I'm probably going to lose that competition because apparently people hate my Vegas choice. That was a bold first overall pick. Nicky Lopez, one of Zach Granky's former teammates, or actually, they think they still might be teammates,

but on the Kansas City Royals, but he said, I was on the bench with him, and we were facing someone who really liked cats. I was like, yeah, Josh Hunt just put this one in the chat. This is the one that started the whole thing. I was like, you can't trust anyone who likes cats. He goes, yeah, man, you really can't. I go, I like dogs.

You got any, Zach? He goes, nah, I would never get dogs. I got a cat, though. Like, you just have to picture, like he's just staring at him dead straight-faced. Like he doesn't think, like he thinks about it, but like in the grand scheme of things, like I feel like Zach Granky doesn't trust himself.

Like he's probably like, no, man, I wouldn't trust myself. No, not at all. Well, there was the story about him giving one of his teammates a hard time about being overweight due to drinking milkshakes and then proceed to order them. Every single city that they went to after that. He found him the best ice cream in that city and then like bought it for him. Here's a story about Jershell once. saying, Zach, I've been told you're going to do one more start down here and then they're calling

you up. Congratulations, kid, you've earned it. I'm happy for you. Granky, after a very long pause, I don't know. Do you think if we asked them, they would let me go back to Singale A and be a shortstop? I think I could be a pretty good shortstop. Drushel, after an equally long pause, what in the world are you talking about? Are you kidding me?

Granky, I think I want to play shortstop. I was thinking I could start at Singale A and then, you know, work my way back up. Jishel says, Zach, that makes no sense. What are you talking about? They're calling you up to the big leagues. The big leagues, this is your dream. This is everyone's dream. Groskey said, oh, okay.

And with that, Granky got up with the chair and went back to the clubhouse. To this day, Dershell doesn't know if Zach Granky was serious or not. That was when he got called up. That's how he responded to getting called up. That's a phenomenal Zach Ranky story. Oh, that's his own. Because, like, DeVX fans know that Zach Ranky is like just an odd, odd man. Yes.

Like, there's just, he would tell you, he would sit there and, like, you would ask him what he was, most proud of from his high school accomplishments, whether it was like his 0.1 ERA or the 29 home runs that he hit his senior year. And Zach Granky would dead face look at you and just say that the 29 home runs were the most important thing he's ever done in his career. I believe that. His Young Award, he would tell you that he likes his silver suckers more. Like he just is just like anything you think he would say, he's probably the opposite.

The best Zach Rankie's story that I ever had, though. He was, it was spring training and a bunch of the guys were all. all sitting in the dining hall, just eating one day. And this just tells you the type of brain that Zach Granky has as you go through this story. So Zach Granky's sitting there by himself. If we're painting the picture, he's by himself and the rest of the guys are kind of sitting around.

But they're all telling stories about who, you know, like what home run was their favorite or what strikeout was their favorite. And a bunch of you guys are sitting around. And Jake Lamb when, you know, RIP, he was still here and thought to be a huge part of the organization, sat and looked at Granky and said, Hey, Zach, do you have a favorite strikeout? Like, is there one that you remember more than the others? And the way this story is told, like, Zach took, I don't know, maybe 30, 45 seconds.

I mean, we're not talking like a short pause here. We're talking an extremely long pause. And you thought about it a lot. Thought about it a lot. And then all he did is give this smile, like this just dry smile. And he looked at Jake. And he said, you know, my favorite strikeout came actually at Chase Field probably about three or four years ago. And he said, I threw a curve.

ball and I hit the guy and he swung and missed and struck out and Zach just kept staring and Jake thought for a second and Jake looked back at him and he said Zach was that me and Zach says yeah that was you and just busted out laughing the whole room lit up and Zach was dying because he thought it was the funniest thing that he possibly could have said and that story to this day is my favorite Zach cranky story I mean this is a man that on players weekend chose of any name or Anything that he could put on the back of his jersey, he chose Granky. Yep. Because he probably thought that shit was hilarious.

One time, you remember the one time he had a two home run game as a member of the Arizona Diamondbacks? When asked after the game, what did he do differently than to, you know, to have a two home run game? He said he got his haircut. And then when asked more, he said, Alex Avila cut his hair. And then he said, well, from now on, I think I'm only going to let Alex Leila cut my hair. Like, that was his, like, that's what I'm taking away from this. Yeah. That's the thing.

I don't know if he did. Oh, no, he believed it. I just, I just like, these stories are so much better if you think that he actually, like, believed, though. Like, I think in his heart, he believed that. I don't know if it was the same day, but everybody's, I'm sure one of Diamondback's Ben's favorite memories of Zach Granky is when Peralta finally got him to drive the bus. If we were on stream yard, we have that. video but we are not on streamyards we do not have that video so here's the thing before that game I think that was the same game that Peralta was miced up or it might have been a different game but he came out to

to Granke he was warming up in the outfield and he tried to get Grankey to call him freight train and Granky would not he would not he refused to call him freight train would not call him freight train would not play his games and as a matter of fact told him that since he was miced up and talking to him that they were probably going to lose they did not though but that's okay Anyway, the other favorite story I have is the fact that one time he was calling all the, he was labeling all the writers. And I believe he labeled Nick Picoro and Zach Buchanan as problematic. He labeled Steve Gilbert as useless. And luckily, he did not know who I was enough to give me a label.

So I got out of that one. But this man's a national treasure. Yeah, this made me think, though, like we were going to talk about this today because, like, I feel like everybody needs to know. Like anybody who doesn't know about Zengrike needs to know that like Zach Ranky's funny because there's been three or four articles over the course of his career, not written about how phenomenal of a pitcher he was over the 13, 14 years, but literally just about how funny and odd he is. Sure. Like there's three or four stories like that. The Athletic wrote one a couple years ago, I think, about like a time that he literally in the middle of a game called his catcher up to the mound to talk about a fantasy trade that he wanted to make with him. in the middle of a game.

Like, he just called him up and was like, you know, like I think we'd be really good trade partners and then just send it back. I'm 100% convinced that man is a menace on his fantasy football, like message boards, you know, like talking shit and all that. Like, he has to be. But who in this office is the most dry, funny person? Like, who at PH&X is the most, like, you wouldn't have expected out of them, but then they say something and you're like, oh, man, like that was probably.

Jesse. Jesse. I was going to say, Beau. Bo's funny. Oh yeah. Bo's funny, but I don't think of Bo is Bo is dry? But Bo will just look at you like with a dead face and say the most insane thing you've ever heard.

I know a lot of people in this chat watch a lot of our shows. So I'd be curious to see who they think is like the most dry funny. Like Jesse I think is really hilarious. I tell people that all the time. We've broken Jesse out of his like shell I feel like and like he is super funny. I don't want him to hear this and no I said this about it. But Jesse's comedic timing is on point. He's very funny.

He makes me better. Like us together, you're all right, but me and Jesse, we're gold. And it's something about the fact that he is so dry and awkward and different. But I love the guy. He's very funny to me. He makes me laugh in text messages more than most people would think. Jesse is very funny in text message. And here's another secret pulling the curtain back.

A lot of those tweets and all caps that you think are me. they're Jesse. They're actually Jesse. Jesse's favorite game is to see if he can tweet like Derek. Yeah, if he could make people think it's me. So that's great stuff. But definitely Zach Grinky. I think Brian Abdallah said it in the comments. We need a 30 for 30 Netflix stock on him 100%.

He also pointed on another one that I feel like definitely deserves some love. Remember when Zach got traded. He asked who he got traded for. Oh, yeah. Because Zach Grinky loves. So Zach Grinky either will be a director of scouting or a general manager when he's done playing baseball. Like I fully believe that like that's the mind he has.

But like that's a legitimate thing. He got traded and went to the general manager and asked who he got traded for so that he could analyze the trade himself. I wonder what his thoughts are on the Josh Rojas holding the trade off and giving thrown in. I think he was fully okay with it. Because Seth Beer at the time and obviously hopefully still was a highly regarded prospect, Corbyn Martin was a highly regarded prospect.

Josh Rojas was the throw in piece on that deal. And now obviously seems like that. I don't say throw on piece as much as he was the piece that was holding it up. He was the Diamondbacks wanted. And Mike Hazen really, really, really wanted Josh Rojas. But he hit 300 everywhere he went. But I would imagine Zach Rankie looked at that deal and said, yeah, you got ample value for me. Good job.

And was okay with it. Like he just walked over to the, like, what didn't that deal happen when they were in Houston? I don't know. I don't remember. They can fact check me on that, but I vaguely remember Zach Rankie having to walk out. Well, no, it might have been somewhere else, but he had to walk and leave the clubhouse in the middle of a game when it happened. And like for a guy like Zach Granky that had to be super uncomfortable, but like he does it with he does it with his own style and grace. It's and it's worth it like he's an incredible person. Yeah, he really is and like again, it's the social anxiety thing. I think it's a bad rap. I mean, I feel like he uses humor and he, you know, it's kind of diffuse how awkward it is. But yeah, it's not you're not going to ever get a normal interview out of Zach Granky at all. You're you're not going to get eye contact. That's for sure. But he's, but he's,

a gem he's a national treasure and we should all appreciate him and really it's just kind of fun that he's part of our history now you know i mean like we got to be part of the Zach granky story and uh let me tell you from experience seeing it close up uh there there were few times that i didn't leave with not laughing at something he did and it was all on purpose you know like he was just he's just a funny guy he always has something to throw in at the end it's it's really interesting because like he obviously should go of fame as a royal yeah he obviously should but like I wouldn't put it past him to like go in as like a astro like he would not like I like the colors best you know so yeah like he'll give some sort of quippy response and and move on with life like he might he might be the first player to go

in with a team that he never played for yeah like just signs with a team for one day to say that he played for them and then like it's like yeah I'm going in as a Boston red talk so I think it was last I suggested to my friends using the GameTime app and then I found out that they got to go to a concert. Gorillas were in town and they wanted to go but tickets were very expensive and the tickets that they got made me so angry that I didn't also go with them. They were basically like, hey, what's that app you use?

And I told them and they were like, cool. And then they went on and used it. And the next thing I see is pictures of them at the Gorilla show without me, no invite. I don't forgive either one of you, but I'm glad that they saved up to 60%. on tickets. For newness is important,

Derek. There's stuff last minute. What's that? Forgiveness is important. I'm a petty person. I don't forgive. I'm, you know, I'll say that. I do forgive.

I don't ever forget. And I also don't forgive. But you can save up to 60% when you buy your tickets last minute. Make sure to do that. Tickets day of. That's where to do it. Do it on game time.

Use our link. It's great for procrastinators out there. And it's great not only for sporting events, but to go see gorillas, go see anybody. Whoever you want to see sporting events, concert shows. It doesn't matter.

You can save a, up to 60% using our link. And the best way to support us is by buying your tickets through the link in our description. So shout out to our friends at GameTime for always making me feel like I'm not going to miss a show because I know I can get my tickets last minute. Had I just gotten an invite, Tim and Megaran. But anyway, I was too busy on the underdog fantasy app. Of course, everybody knows I'm flush with cash after I won $1,000 on it. I've been throwing it around.

So you couldn't buy me lunch today? See, I knew this was going to come up. I knew it was going to come up. You got himself Hawaiian barbecue. I went to go get coffee, and then I was like, I'm hungry. See, I'm a free man in downtown Phoenix. There's a lot of good choices out there. And I don't feel bound to people who didn't share their wonderful clothing with me.

You know what I mean? I don't feel like an obligation to also, if I didn't get a hat, even when asking for it. Derek did buy me a coffee yesterday. I did buy her a coffee, you see? He is generous. Thanks. With his $1,000 winnings from Underdog Fantasy. That's right.

Apparently. And you can be generous too. I'm keeping this hat. He's not getting it back. But search for the Underdog Fantasy app or click the link in the show notes. Sign up with our promo code of PHNX and we will double your first deposit up to $100. That's what I did. When I won, I was down to my last 50 bucks.

I threw it on there. Next thing you know, pitch counts. Pitch counts. 99 problems, but a pitch count ain't one for me. Let me tell you. And at the Underdog Fantasy app, You can bet on, don't listen to these guys. Don't listen to Jesse.

He's a monster. You can bet on whatever you want to. If they give you the option, do a higher or lower, pick them on it. You can do that over at the Underdog Fantasy app. And don't forget to use our promo code of PHNX. So you get that first deposit matched up to $100. Fosch, thank you for joining me. Of course.

We appreciate it. We appreciate you guys for being here for enjoying your lunches with us. I hope you guys all brought, got Hawaiian barbecue and didn't share it with Jacob as well, just like me. but we will see you guys tomorrow. In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter. I am at cap underscore caveman with the K. This guy is Jacob Franklin. Nope.

No, Jacob, what? Underscore. underscore Franklin. Four. Four. God. You want to read that straight through so that people aren't like the ad is like Jacob, Frank, no, underscore.

Yeah, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Whatever. God, so much stuff. I am cap underscore Kedman with a K. This guy is Jacob underscore Frank, Franklin four, for some reason, should be six. There's a lot of Jacob Franklin. But I get it.

This show is at PHNX underscore Dbacks, but of course all roads lead to at PHNX underscore sports on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Again, we thank you guys for joining us on behalf of Leah, Faj, and myself. We always appreciate you giving us time. And remember, kids, baseball is fun, but it's so much more fun when you use your five hours wisely.