PHNX Arizona Diamondbacks Podcast - Love is the game

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

On this episode, Derek and Jesse are discussing Dan Szymborski's neural network shenanigans, including computer generated mottos for every MLB team and possibly untrue fun facts about every free agent. They're also chatting about the possibility of the D-backs sharing Chase Field with the Arizona Coyotes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, hello, and welcome to the PHNX DBAX podcast right here on PHNX. My name is Derek Montia, occasionally known as your mayor of PHNX. And other times I'm just known as that troublemaker that, you know, Phoenix always feuds with. Of course, I'm joined by my vice mayor, my co-hosts, the one and only Thunderstick, Jesse Freepin. Live back from the classroom today, Derek, I'm getting used to this. I think that you're really enjoying not having to make the commute is what I'm thinking. And I think that you're just putting down a bed there at night and sleeping in the classroom, making the most of it.

But I'm glad to have you here, whether it's in a tiny house or in a car or in a classroom. So glad you had a little behind the scenes for the show we did yesterday. We had a little bit of trial and air. Internet connection wasn't working great out in the tiny house or in the car, basically. No, yeah. Yeah, I tried podcasting yesterday from my. car and it didn't work. And so, as you all probably heard, I wound up at my classroom. And that's where I am again today. So we'll see what the rest of the week holds.

We'll see. But Jesse is doing his best to dodge his roommate, who currently, unfortunately, has COVID. And yeah, like so many people, Jesse, again, has been running the gauntlet as far as COVID is concerned. It's been coming for him like death in the final destination movies. and Jesse's just avoiding it at every turn. I'm very impressed. You're obviously the main star of this story, but I hope you continue to stay healthy, my friend. I know how difficult it is,

and I am quarantined myself right now due to my little vacation in California until I can get my test done on Wednesday. So, but again, it's what's happening, and society currently is completely overrun by it, and hopefully we can get through this safer without losing people because that's really been the tough part about this whole thing. But Jesse, I'm glad for now that you're healthy.

And I didn't mean to sound so foreboding right there when I said the foreknow. For now. I know so. Just wait. You just wait. But just a reminder, not to transition out of this terrible dark discussion, but just a reminder, this show is brought to you by the fine folks over at the Draft King Sportsbook app. go download the Draft King Sportsbook app and new customers right now can get one heck of a deal.

You can bet just $5 and win $2.80, $200, I don't know why. It's $280 in free bets if your team is victorious, bet just $5 and win. Also, new customers can get 56 to 1 odds on any wild card team to win their game. And I'll give you a selection for that a little bit later in the show. but go over to draft kings and use that code of PHNX. Jesse, I know there's not a lot of baseball news happening, but thank God for the baseball media community for just keeping us just overloaded with content

because our pal, I don't even know how I'm going to say this name correctly in a million years because you know I'm bad with names, but Damson Borski. Is that right? Borski, there you go. Bensiborski. You put together another one, another one of his wonderful neural network lists.

And if you don't know, you've got to go check out his, basically you got to go check out his page. His entire page, Dan is a senior writer for fan graphs. He's an ESPN contributor. He's a zipstition, all sorts of stuff, but he's a great dude. And he put together a list of modos for each MLB team

that has been generated by a neural network. This is the second year, row that he did such a thing. He basically let the bots make mottos for the teams and Jesse. The results are as hilarious as to be expected. For the Arizona Diamondbacks, our 2020 season motto,

love is the game. Love is the game. I love it. Love is the game, Jesse. It's deep. It means so much. something different to every single human being. There really is. There's a lot of room for interpretation there.

It really is. It's like reading Shakespeare or something. I mean, there's just so many levels of depth to the phrasing there. I mean, it's incredible. It seems simple. It's four words. It's not very complicated. It's nothing like the Boston Red Sox motto of, come on, you little Utica hillbillies.

It's not that. What the heck? It's definitely not as good as some of the other team's mottoes that would make great book titles. The Chicago White Sox have the motto, it takes bravery to be a buckaroo. And I really want, I really want the entire White Sox team to embrace this motto.

I want them to start calling themselves buckaroos, you know, whatever we could get. Cleveland Guardians, get your dirty hands off our gloves. I'd read that book. Detroit Tigers, attack, attack, attack, which is what they've been doing

in free agency unsuccessfully so far. But one of my favorite ones, Jesse, is the Seattle Mariners. Oh, what's theirs? In the jungle, a pigeon taps his heel. Don't tell me you don't want to read that book.

That is a book. I can't wait to read. I want to cheer for that team is what I want. It's a motto, right? Yeah, it's a motto. Mariners are destined for greatness behind that motto there. That's something we can get behind. There's some a little bit more nonsensical ones like the Toronto Blue Jays motto of chomping trees for your pleasure.

But, I mean, come on. If you start talking about like pitching, mowing down batters, chomping trees is a pretty dope phrase. I'm on board with that being a new part of our baseball vernacular. Texas Rangers still here. Aren't we all? Question mark? I love how aren't we all is actually part of it. Like the Washington Nationals are just straight up, we made it this far.

We made it this far. But the Texas Rangers are still here. Aren't we all? Poor Milwaukee Brewers are just help wanted. Wow. Yeah. That's dark. That might be a little bit more.

That might be more for Arizona. Yeah, that's a pretty good team for help wanted. Yeah. That's a sign I'm putting outside of the Diamondbacks facility. By the way, he also listed his mottoes from 2021. Arizona Diamondbacks motto for the 2021 season as the cactus turns. What the heck? That's a soap opera.

I can't wait to watch. Okay. What else do we have here? The Baltimore Orioles all in for May. They're just in there for that one. which for the Orioles does feel sadly maybe a little bit of fitting. They're going to have a really good day. We don't know about the rest of the month.

The latest hairdo in town for the Colorado Rockies has to reference Patrick Lyons. That has to be who they're talking about, of course. I don't know. But the peculiar twang of old Minnesota, that one, that one's pretty good. I will say that, and that's the twins. But none I don't feel is more accurate than the Los Angeles Dodgers, which is the blue wave of assorted madness. I feel like the neural network knew exactly what team they were talking about when they came up with the phrase. Yeah, no, that one, that one makes a lot of sense.

It's like it is madness, right? I mean, they're the Dodgers. They spend ludicrous amount of money. Ludicrous amounts of money. But I guess there's some, yeah, there's kind of some, you know, organization to it. and, you know, they're usually pretty smart with how they spend. So, yeah, that one actually is pretty fitting. Worst slogan goes to the Cincinnati Reds with them's fighting neutrals.

I don't even know what it means. I don't feel like those three words go together. I don't know why it added an apostrophe S to them's. I didn't know the neural network didn't have good, you know, whatever. Good grammar. You're put off by the. the neural network's bad grammar. So it's happening.

But he also put out another list generated by the neural network that's also equally hilarious, Jesse. Yes. And that is for each free agent currently available in the market, he had the neural network generate a little known fact for each player. I don't know if you know this, but Freddie Freeman, Freeman likes chicken nuggets. I mean, you does it, right? I believe it. Yeah. Yeah.

We're all there. He loves wash cloths. You know. But then we start getting into a little bit more personal things like J.A. Hap lost his virginity to his mother's friends. Oh, no. That seems, I don't, I don't know if that's, like, I don't feel like that's right to be putting that out there, whether it's true or not. Um,

Trevor K. Hill is addicted to dry erase markers and you could take that for what it's worth. I don't know. Uh, in what, in what, in what, in what way they mean he's addicted to dry erase markers.

I hope, I, I hope they mean sniffing them, you know, but yeah, it's just more of, uh, like a,

maybe like a John Madden, like, uh, tendency to draw on, uh, whiteboards. I don't know. Uh,

but these are hilarious. These are absolutely hilarious. So again, to check out the full list, you got to check out Dan Zimborski's, Twitter account, and that's a Deeds and Borski. I'm going to let you figure out how to spell that. But Zankerke has four pairs of sweatpants for special occasions.

Okay, that actually I kind of believe. Zach Granky's a pretty, I mean, he's the guy who kind of, you know, he wears shorts, and he's always, he's always pretty relaxed with his attire. I love Clayton Kershaw. It just says Kershaw steals rotisserie chickens from the super bucket. I leave a funny image in my head of him looking around the way he does when he's on the mound and checking the runner at second. You know. Yeah.

The man he makes $40 million a year. Can't afford his own rotisserie chicken. That's how he gets his thrills, Jesse. There you go. You know, when you make that much money and you don't have to worry about money anymore, it's hard to feel alive. You know, like he's got to go. steal those rotisserie chickens. That's a rumor that we need to just

make known, right? Like, you have to make sure that everybody consistently knows that you know, Clayton Kershaw steals rotissory chickens from supermarkets and that Nick Castellanos gets high for yoga and Netflix.

I don't know what they mean by that. Do they just mean gets high like emotionally or does he smoke some weed? Does he smoke some dank buds before doing yoga and Netflix. That's a lot of sense. That one,

that one is pretty a little hard to fear it exactly what's going on there. What do you make of Eddie Rosario's YouTube channel called Dollhouse Projuice? Hey, hey. It's, it's really the combination of those two things, right? Like, what are you doing in the dollhouse for the pro? Like, is it a dollhouse that makes Projuice? Is that just some sort of weird name? dollhouse produce sounds like a badass pro wrestling um like organization name that doesn't make any

sense but still sounds cool uh i don't know i don't know uh some of them are pretty uh pretty tame like martin prez Perez loses weight by not eating well don't we all we all and braderson uranates while riding a bike again we all do that that's nothing new uh but donovan solano once crashed through an apartment window and i wonder if they mean in a car or or like Batman style on a rope. Oh my God. These are delightful. And again, during a time where we have,

we're at such a dark period for baseball news and. Yeah. Yeah, we've really been missing out, Derek. The neural network could have provided us just so many episodes of timeless entertainment. We've only tapped into it just now. Yeah, Jesse, you say that. But you're absolutely right. And now, I mean, I've recently come across a thing called the what if sports simulator where we can actually pit Diamondbacks teams from the past against each other.

And I think we need to start doing that. I think we need to get down on the neural network. Start doing some stuff where we analyze and let the computer take over for us. Let the computer, you know, take our hands off. off the wheel and let the computer drive. But never forget that love is the game, Jesse. That's the one thing that we have to remember in 2022 is that love is the game. When the diamondbacks, when the diamondbacks get you down in 2022, just remember, love is the game.

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And then get in on this hammering. the over promotion where we're going to get this down to two points. We're going to get the over on this game down to two points. We're all going to win. It's like when I go to Vegas and I sit down at a table full of people that are betting Blackjack and they look at me and they say, look, we're going to do this together. We're going to work together as a team against the dealer. We're going to work against the Draft King's promotion.

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But I know you still got in on yours while you were here. So make sure if you are a new customer that you get in on those as well. now the phnx coyotes folks jesse they i think they might be losing their minds a little bit over there now they are not the season experts in losing that you and i are right now they they even though they knew tank season was here from day one they weren't ready for it they weren't prepared for what this really is all about but we are so we're here to kind of help them out now unfortunately, based on a report that you can get over at go p hnx.com by Craig Morgan, there is some information about the coyotes facility that they were planning in Tempe going a bit south.

So right now the coyotes are still searching for a new home. One of the ideas that the pHNX coyotes folks floated out there was the coyotes playing hockey at Chasefield, Jesse. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that seems a little strange. A little strange. I'm no hockey expert, but I think the field at Chase Field is a little bit large for a hockey rink.

Sure, but we've seen this with the Winter Classic before, right, in the NHL where they have a game. They have other sports pretty regularly at Chase Field. That's a fair point. And that is the other point I was going to make absolutely what you said. They just had a bowl game at Chase Field. and I was actually really surprised, to be honest, with what they did. If you weren't familiar with what they did, Chase Field actually put down real turf, real grass on the, I guess on the floor at Chase Field

and set up a real actual football field with grass. And then after the game, that grass was donated to, I believe, a Boys and Girls Club or something afterwards in regards to the grass being given. into a facility that needed a new field, right? So just a very cool kind of thing to do for a bowl game that you're using grass, you know, just to kind of not have football players potentially be injured by running on, you know, fake artificial turf. Also, you know, using the grass afterwards and giving it to a worthy cause is also very,

very cool. But I would, I'm not opposed to this idea. Jesse, I was taking a look at it. the NHL season starts October 12th, so obviously we don't have to worry about a playoff run running into any kind of, at least for next season is what I'm saying. We don't have to worry about a playoff run running into any, you know, conflicts of interest or anything like that. So what do you think it would be like?

What do you think? I'm just picturing, I'm trying to picture people hanging out in the Chasefield swimming pool while watching an ice hockey game. Like, that actually might be kind of a magical experience. I don't, I don't know. Has that ever happened? Has that ever happened in professional hockey? Is there ever been a swimming pool next to, I would imagine it, probably not.

I imagine at least the hot tub. I know like when they do some of the outdoor winter classics, like, how could you not do that? I feel like you wouldn't be doing your job. And I can't think of seeing one. so I don't know for sure, but I imagine when they were setting up the broadcast for ABC or ESPN or something, that they were smart enough to set up a hot tub. If you don't have a hot tub with the steam coming out of it for at least one of your correspondence, like this guy over here, if you sitting in a hot tub and broadcasting live,

then you missed the mark altogether. You miss it. I think it's even funnier, though, picturing not the hot tub, like just the regular, like, summertime sitting pool. Yeah, just the pool, just people standing around in, Yeah, without their first on. That's what we would get. I don't know.

It's a weird. It's a pretty weird proposition. It's a weird proposition, and it's definitely unfortunate for the coyotes, right? Again, kind of at times puts things into perspective for you because the Diamondbacks have obviously gone through their own issues with Chase Field and Maricopa County. And, you know, the kind of lack of quality that they think. was going on there. I find it interesting because I can't help but wonder, like,

whose job is maintenance on the building? If Maricopa County owns the building and Chase or the Diamondbacks are merely renters, they're merely tenants, then isn't it the landlord's job to come scrape the crud off of the vents where stuff's leaking out and it's got all corroded and it's gross? Isn't it the landlord's job to make sure that it's, you know, it's up kept.

I don't know. I mean, I don't know what contractual things there are or whatever, but the one thing that I take away from certain facilities that I visited is, even though they're older than Chase Field, they're kept up better. And that's the thing is the upkeep, right? It's the painting handrails over again when they need to be painted because they've kind of worn down and, you know, changing seats out and doing stuff that's like regular

maintenance like like a good car owner right you know you got to do stuff that's preventative sometimes you have no choice to do it because it breaks at time at chase field it just kind of feels like they're a shitty like car owner that doesn't take care of their car and you see them drive up with things hanging off of it the bumper not connected anymore and things like that like i don't know whose fault it is but um it with that being said i'll say that the problems the diamondbacks have had are are my in comparison to what the coyotes are going through, right? The coyotes are literally going through a situation where they might be forced, not even like coerced or had an ownership team come and by them and move them out of the city.

They literally might be forced to go elsewhere because they don't have a place to play here in the valley. Like that entire situation is really spiraling out of control quickly. and I don't know what to say because I know we're not a coyotes podcast. I shouldn't even be covering this news. But I will say that to keep the coyotes here in the valley, because I love the coyotes, I will offer Chase Field up. I'm opening the doors to Chase Field for the coyotes to come play there.

I'm sure we can work some sort of deal out. I promise you by October 12th, the Diamondbacks will be cleared out. They will not be playing baseball in that building any longer. there'll be nobody doing things. We'll have to figure something out for the Elton John concert, I'm sure, because that's coming next, I think next year during the hockey season. But we'll fine. We'll scheduling conflicts.

That's easy. But yeah, we'll put you down there. Maybe we just say they can have it, you know? Like, yeah, let's let the coyotes try it out. See, okay. And then just be like, all right, well, now it's yours. and we're going to go somewhere else. Here's the problem, Jesse.

Have you ever tried to give away something that someone else didn't want? Right? First, you got to kind of make them believe that they're not going to get that thing. You're almost like, yeah, here, just drive, you know, here, just you can use my crappy car on the side while I go get a new one or whatever. I'm just saying they're a little desperate over there, Derek. They don't really have a whole lot going for them on the future housing front right now. So I don't know.

no you're right it's hard to it's hard to give away things that people don't want that's what i'm saying it's it's less hard to give away things that people need even if they even if they might not want it you just ask them to come over and watch your house for a little while you know what i mean and then yeah yeah kind of slink out like i know in this market nobody's giving up a house for free i get it but some sometimes people are you know they're wealthy they just need to get rid of a house the look The point is, is that the coyotes can come play there for a little while, right? And then they can start converting Chasefield slowly over to a hockey arena. And that's when the Diamondbacks behind the scenes can just build their new facility over in Salt River Fields.

And, you know, just have all the gambling attached, just open a casino attached right to the stadium. And we'll all have a great time. I want a facility that's more like the Colorado. Rockies where we have stuff there right next to it where I don't have to drive or leave and we can just stay in that wonderful area. So we'll see what happens. Obviously, none of these things are going to happen. I'm sure the Diamondbacks will stay at Chase Field for a long, long time. And I worry that the coyotes won't be here for too much longer. And I'm, I feel like every day that's starting to be a bigger and bigger concern, you know, I have no idea what's going on with that

organization, but it definitely seems like they aren't even trying at this point. And I mean that in several ways. But, hey, we don't have to worry about that. We have our own pile of concerns over here to worry ourselves with. And again, you can go over to go phtnx.com, read Craig Morgan's piece, read Jesse's new piece on some of the positional ups and downs, the Arizona Diamondbacks have had throughout the years. you can get all that over at go p hnx.com. If you're not a member already,

sign up to become a member. You can get an annual membership. You will get that free t-shirt over at the PHNX Locker.com. And of course, you will get your annual membership, which is a reward in itself. If you're not interested in the annual membership, we also have the month-to-month option,

and you'll get your first month for just 50 cents. Sign up, see if you like it. And if you do, sign up for the annual membership. Over at p.nxlocker.com, we have some incredible t-shirts, Diamondbacks, Coyotes, again, not like this is a coyotes

bashing episode, but I'm just going to say they don't deserve the T-shirts that they have over at PHNX Locker. They are some amazing designs. And if you are a fan, you can come get some of these top-notch designs over at the PHNX Locker.com. Of course, Sons, Cardinals, D-Backs, ASU, U-A, all of that over there.

I'm not supposed to talk about the U-of-A shirt because of my attachments to a different school, but I will say it's a very, very good shirt. If you're a U of A fan, go check that out. I'm sure you'll enjoy it as well. But again, sign up to become a member. If you do, you'll get, not only you'll get member only deals over at the pageantxlocker.com, you will also get access to our members-only discord where Patrick Lyons with his hair

is in there asking us questions for mailbag Monday way too late. But we'll make sure to get back to those for Patrick. and anybody else that leaves us mailbag Monday questions in the Discord on the following Monday. That's how we do it. We stockpile these things and we make sure we answer all the questions. But yeah, jump on that and become a member today. Jesse, before we go, I talked about the Draft King's promotion. I wanted to give a midweek, a Tuesday morning, Draft King's Pick of the Week,

just so you can start thinking about this big wildcard weekend. obviously this is an incredible offer from Draft King, so I want to give everybody my selection, but I don't know if you should listen to me. I'm not as confident in my selections as Shane Diefenlock, which I am contractually obligated, apparently to call him now for the time. I don't remember the last time you said Diefenbach, actually.

I'm not. I'm not. I don't know if it's ever happened. That's not. Well, it's in, it's in his contract. He went seven for seven in his picks from Friday. And let me tell you. God. He is just a monster. He is the worst person you could be around right now in life because he is bragging. He's tossing money around. Like I talked to him for a minute and he threw a $5 bill in my face for nothing. I didn't even do anything to him. But that's what happens when you go seven per seven. Your big money, Shane. And again, check out the P.HNX Bet show because obviously if you listen to them, you can definitely expect to make some money.

Now, for me, I don't know, maybe not so much, but I'm going to give you my picks anyway, who I'm putting my money on. I'm putting my money on the Bengals. They're a six-point favorite to cover over the Raiders, and I'm also taking the under on that game, at 49.5 points. It's a playoff game.

I just see defense standing up, and I don't think that they're going to hit that 50 point mark. But that's my draft. King's pick of the week. You can listen to me or you can listen to Shane. Maybe we agree. I don't know. Shane right now is at the national championship game. I guess that's what happens when you go seven for seven. You win your way to the national championship game. But I'm also getting messages about how he's not posting any video right now from the national championship game. So Shane, if you're listening to this, I'm shaming you in the future for your actions now

because I need to take you down a peg. You went seven for seven. you're like it's it's hard to live with you right now basically is what remember the little people Shane that's what we're that's what we're saying yeah I mean honestly I'm like he asked me for my picks and I'm just going to tell him just whatever you say that's what that's what I'm going to say when it comes to doing a bet show with Shane because who am I to disagree with a man that went seven for seven seven that's ridiculous uh we're never going to hear the end of this but uh we hope you guys still enjoyed the show regardless of Shane and his bragging. I know he's not on here, but you know, you know what it's like.

We have to apologize for him even when he's not here. Yeah, he's not here, but I'm sure some of you are going to run into him. And good Lord, I'm sorry. But we appreciate you guys checking out the show again. Make sure go draft kings. Use our code of PHNX. There are so many good offers. If you haven't signed up for draft kings yet, make sure to do it.

This is the weekend. do so. Fifty-six to one odds, $280 in free bets. There's money on the table. We can hammer down this over. Let's get it. And that code again was PHNX. And then go over to the PHNx Locker.com with your winnings. Get yourself one of our wonderful t-shirts and our sticker packs. And get your, you know, you earned it. You made the money. So splurge on yourself. I know Jesse is just overran with shirts right now in his, in his drawer in his life. He's got all the PHNX shirts. I've got all the PHNX shirts. I just got the

Coyotes cutout shirt, which is another incredible shirt. Again, Coyotes. Merch is so good. The merch is so good. The team, very bad. But you can get all of that over at PHNX Locker.com. And remember, sign up for GoPHNX.

Become a member. You can get the annual membership and or month to month, whichever one you choose over at PHNX Locker. Walker. We got some, we got a live show. Jesse's going to be coming from the classroom again. Hopefully he will have a curriculum plan to teach us tomorrow. Yeah, I'll have a lesson plan for us tomorrow. Yeah. I'm going to teach you some stuff, Derek. Well, we'll see. We'll see how it all goes down. Most importantly, we're going to get the neural network to maybe come up with some stuff for us to talk about. Or maybe just help us with these, you know, with these past Arizona Diamondbacks teams that we might end up needing to match up against each other. But that's always. Worst comes to worst. We can just talk about Jose Urina and the fact that he forgot where he docked his fishing boat and it has yet to be found. So shout out to Jose Urina. We hope you find your fishing boat.

Yeah. Abdul Herrera moves his toes after each pitch. Like, doesn't you big a lot? Yeah. I mean, that seems fine. That doesn't seem. That doesn't seem. I can't imagine not moving your toes at all.

Like if your toes are completely stationary every time you deliver. over a pitch. That's probably a mechanics issue there. I don't know. Meanwhile, Chris Bryant likes walking on cow pastures. Now, that's weird. That's weird. Still not as weird as Kershaw's stealing those rotissory chickens for whatever high he gets from that. But still, very weird. Yeah, make sure to not miss out on the fact that Trevor's story will drape himself over a team employee while watching television programs. What? Oh my gosh. We could talk about this this whole week, Derek.

Shout out to the neural network. That's who I'm giving my honor of the week to the neural network because they gave us some wonderful things. Love us the game, Derek. Love us the game, Jesse. Well, you can follow us on Twitter. I'm at cap underscore Kman with a K. Jesse is at Jesse and Friedman.

Our show is at PHNX underscore D-BACs. But of course, all roads lead to at PHNX underscore sports. That's on Instagram, Twitter. and Facebook. If you're listening to us right now in your favorite audio podcasting app, be sure to sign up for the subscribe, sign up, listen to us all the time,

drop us a five-star review, subscribe to us over on YouTube, sign up for notifications there as well. That way you don't miss any of this content, not just from us, but from the entire pHNX team. We got some fun stuff on the horizon for you guys. We're expanding to some new teams.

We're expanding to some new team members. It's all been very exciting, and we hope you guys enjoy what we continue to do in this year of 2022. On behalf of Jesse and myself, we thank you guys so much for tuning in. And remember, kids, baseball is fun, but love is the game.