PHNX Arizona Diamondbacks Podcast - Will the Dodgers empty the free agency bargain bin before the D-backs have a chance to snag a deal?

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

With Opening Day just 100 days from now, MLB teams are trying to do everything they can to improve their roster through free agency, and the Los Angeles Dodgers seem to be thrift shopping in the same bargain bin as the Arizona Diamondbacks. Also, Jesse and Derek’s friendship is forever changed after today’s review of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.BUY D-BACKS TICKETS HERE: https://gametime.hnyj8s.net/c/3442941/1410622/10874 SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/phnx_youtubeALL THINGS PHNX: http://linktr.ee/phnxsports PHNX: Join us at the Inaugural PHNX Tee Party, presented by Four Peaks Brewing Co., at Dobson Ranch Golf Course!We are renting out the entire driving range! Come hang with Big Drive Energy, the PHNX crew and fellow Diehards for a night of golf, food, drinks, contests, prizes, and more. Our PHNX Suns crew will be hosting a watch party for the Suns vs. Timberwolves. Check out https://www.eventbrite.com/e/phnx-tee-party-at-dobson-ranch-tickets-481918139127 to reserve your spot right now! And for our Diehards, check Discord for your special link where you’ll save 20% on this awesome event!DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now (https://bit.ly/3Jl1dMX), use promo code PHNX and make your first deposit of FIVE DOLLARS and get TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS in FREE BETS INSTANTLY! For every leg you add you can boost your winnings up to ONE HUNDRED percent!If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisiscounseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visitOPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min. $5 deposit required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.OGeez!: Enter the “Flavoring Life” sweepstakes. One winner will receive 3 bags of OGeez, an OGeez! Hat, a PHNX shirt of your choice, and a PHNX annual membership. Sign up at gophnx.com or visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfIplqDYsxYeiotn5Zc6hRahaX0a5qG99eHVzkhOlGZDRdgUA/viewform. Must be 21 years or older to purchase.Underdog Fantasy: Sign up for Underdog Fantasy today! Go to the link https://play.underdogfantasy.com/p-phnx and use promo code “PHNX” to receive a deposit match up to $100Four Peaks: Enter to win the “Toast of the Month” sweepstakes to win a $50 Four Peaks gift card, a PHNX shirt of your choice, and a PHNX annual membership. Go to goPHNX.Com or visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfOabxo8KQxOWwn9wTilMBuTMAJdrL0CaH9lzfuJqgKN9vfSg/viewform Must be 21 or older. Enjoy responsibly. Bad Birdie: Use code “BADBIRDIEPHNX15” for 15% off your next order https://glnk.io/7qnq/phnx-sportsMor Furniture: Save up to 50% all through the holidays! Check out https://morfurniture.comLiquid Death: Get free shipping on all water and merch at https://LiquidDeath.com/PHNX FOCO: FOCO has you covered with the best Arizona Merchandise. Head on over to foco.com. For all non pre-sale items use the promo code “PHNX” for 10% offWhen you shop through links in the description, we may earn affiliate commissions. Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello and welcome into the last episode of this show where me and this guy are friends. Of course, this is the PHNX DVax podcast right here on PHNX. My name is Derek Montia, occasionally known as the Clark Griswold of this podcast. This is my friend Rusty, my son, my boy over here, the one and only Thunderstick, Jesse Friedman. What did you just call me? My son, my boy. Rusty. His name is Russ.

Rusty. His name is not Rusty. It's Russ. Anyway, moving on. Now you're an expert on the fucking movie. I am an expert. I studied it deeply and I hated every single moment of it. But you'll have to wait until later to hear my full thoughts on a very overrated Christmas movie in my personal opinion.

He's not even waiting. This show is brought to you by the fine folks at the Draft King's Sportsbook app. America's top rated sports book app. And I might add a sports book app that properly resists. respects National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. But of course, Jesse, we have Brandon Drury news to get to. More importantly, we are 100 days away from opening day, which of course, it means it feels like it's right around the corner, right?

It is amazing. Like, I don't know, the Major League Baseball offseason, especially here in Arizona, I guess we've talked about this a little bit. Like you've got the playoffs, and then you got the Fall League that stretches through mid-November, and then you've got the holidays, and it just feels. like baseball season is always just right around the corner way sooner than you expect it. Let's go. And yeah, it's amazing.

I mean, 100 days is going to go by pretty quickly. And of course, we have spring training and all those things happening before then. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, in the meantime, we have free agency news on the Arizona Diamondbacks continue to be connected to free agents. Jesse will be the first person to tell you. He doesn't know how actually connected they are. In this case, it kind of feels more Xander Bogart.

I was a little skeptical of that one. The other one. The other one. A little more reasonable. All right. But Brandon Drury might be coming back to the Valley, according to reports. There's talk that he could be one of the acquisitions the Diamondbacks made. Obviously, it makes a lot of sense, a right-handed bat, a third baseman.

Let's be honest, the Diamondbacks just don't have a consistent third basement. We've talked about this yesterday. We had one of our questions from the mailbag be about this. But, I mean, obviously, there's plenty of pros. to Brandon Drury coming back to this baseball team. I think one of the biggest is that, you know, he's played here before. And obviously, if he's going to succeed, if he's going to continue maybe having more of the first half of the season he had last year with Cincinnati, you know, it would be great

to see him kind of flourish and, you know, have that success back here in Arizona. Obviously, that's more of the exception than the rule, it seems like, with Brandon Drury. That first half really was like the one. time in his career when he was putting up those type of numbers. He had, he was excellent in the first half with Cincinnati, 20 home runs, 59 RBIs. He had 274, 335 on base, 520 slugging percentage. I mean, those are big time numbers. I remember at the time when he was with Cincinnati, there were some Brandon Drury

snubbed from the All-Star game conversations that were happening because he was, he was that good for them. But yeah, after being traded over to San Diego, he was still an above average offensive player but not nearly to the same level. His on base percentage was 290 and that stint was San Diego. He slugged 435 so there were still some pop there. But yeah, it's interesting. Mike Hazen, he was the GM who traded away.

Brandon Drury back in the day. It was one of the first moves that Mike Hazen made as general manager. 2017. Yeah, like off season before 2017. So there's certainly some history here. And I think Brandon Drury is not the same player that he was back when he. he was with the Diamondbacks. At least you hope, right? You hope that this, this new version of Brandon Drury that appeared to emerge in Cincinnati is something that will be sustainable for

moving forward. And as we discussed on the show yesterday, before this rumor even came out, Brandon Drury, there's going to be some risk there. Like, if you look at his stats for the last four years prior to 2022, he wasn't much of a player, right? He wasn't really a guy you could plug into the lineup every day. So there's a decent amount of risk here. But that's, That's also going to drag down his price tag for a guy who hit 28 home runs last year and had an 813 OPS. You might be getting him for a little bit less than other guys who put up those numbers. But it's for a reason, right? It's because he hasn't done this sustainably for a number of years.

This 2020 season was sort of an anomaly for him. Yeah. And he won the Silver Slugger. So, of course, that. He did. He won it for the utility spot, which is interesting. But yeah, I mean, he had a good year. an 813 OPS is certainly respectable.

Honestly, one of his best seasons ever was 2016 with the Diamondback. So again, this guy has, he's been average. He's been bad at times. Were you a Brandon Drury believer in the early days when he first came up? Was it like Brandon Jury is going to be a long-term infielder, like everyday guy for the bebacks? I don't ever remember that being like the talk. I really don't. Interesting.

I don't remember Brandon Drury being a guy that when he, came up, people had a lot of faith in. I mean, he did pretty well. I think that was the thing was the 2016 season. You know, his second season in the league, had you believe? Yeah. It was his age 23 season. He was young.

Yeah. Nobody was fixated on Brandon Dr. because everybody was fixated on Jake Lamb. Yeah, because that was Jake Lamb. Wasn't that his all-star season was 2016, I believe, Jake Lamb? I want to say 2017 was Jake Lamb's all-star. Jake Lamb. It would have been the year they sent Grang.

He, Lamb, Goldie. Yeah, it was 2017. Jake Lamb actually was very good in 2016, but not much went right for the debacks that year. That's very true. Yeah, but he, I mean, that might have been Jake Lamb's best year. Overall, he had 29 home runs that year. 91 RBI's was good in 172.

And like you said, then that makes Brandon Drury that much more expendable at that point, considering that Jake Lamb, they were committed in 2017 during his all-star season, the Jake Lamb being the everyday first or third basement for this team, right? So I don't know, man. I mean, honestly, when it comes down to it, I want to see the Diamondbacks continue to approve. And honestly, I want the goddamn Los Angeles Dodgers to get out of the bargain bin. You know, like, it's like we're shopping in the bargain bin, and then we look off and our really well-off neighbor is also shopping in the same bargain bin, picking up the same toys that we're trying to get.

And we're like, dude, you have money. What are you doing? And it's like, yeah. Shouldn't you be a Nordstrom or something? Yeah, right. Yeah. Right. Why are you here in the Walmart?

clearance section what the fuck is going on right now right but of course MLB network analyst Harold Reynolds thanks Brandon Jewry is a great fit for Los Angeles and again it kind of interesting and listening to it it kind of felt like yeah he's a great fit based on what Los Angeles has been doing lately and again Los Angeles seems to be now on a bit of a reclamation kick you know like picking up these guys that they think that they can get back to a higher point like as we said yesterday they've done with so many other players Justin Turner Max Muncie being just a few of those guys. Drury did destroy lefties last year.

You're looking for a guy you can hit lefties. Last year, Drury hit 299, 329 on base, 626 slugging percentage. He had a lot of pop against lefties. But he's also like he's probably good enough against righties that he probably wants an everyday role. Like I don't know if Brandon Drury is about to sign a contract to be, you know, your specialist against left-handed pitchers. He's just, he's probably too good for that. So it's a question of, you know, how much does Brandon Jury move the needle over Emmanuel Rivera and Josh Rojas at third base, right? That's probably the primary position he would be playing

for the debacks. He did play a whole bunch of positions last year, which was kind of interesting. Last year, Brandon Jury played 67 games at third base, 30 games at first base, 27 games at second base. He played two at shortstop, which is wild. I'm not really sure why a team would put Brandon Drury at shortstop unless they absolutely had to. I guess that was maybe out of necessity. Sometimes you use your outfielders a pitcher, Jesse. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes Carson Kelly's on the mound in the eighth or ninth inning, and that's just the way it works. But he did DH26 games as well. But he's one of those utility guys who's not like a great defender. If you look at some of the advanced metrics for him defensively.

the sample sizes aren't big because he didn't spend that much time at any particular position, but none of the numbers are particularly good. He didn't really grate out as a great third baseman or a great second baseman. He's just sort of like playable anywhere, I guess. He's a bat. Yeah. That's what most teams are looking for. That's what teams are signing Brandenjury for, absolutely.

Meanwhile, I have a little bit of a chicken and the egg situation, Jesse. I'm not sure what came first because the debacks are still connected to the Blue Jays in regards to rumors. according to MLB trade rumors about a trade between them for potentially one of their young catchers for one of the Blue Jays. Blue Jays still have three catchers. Yeah, yeah, right. Okay. And so like I don't know, like when I read these rumors and then they talk about stuff and then I realize like we started talking about this before I actually read it anywhere. We were just like, hey, of all the teams, Toronto kind of makes sense.

So are we where the rumors are generating for? I think that's it. I think that's it. Are we coming up with this stuff? No, and that reporting back on our own rumors that we're creating?

Am I the trauma? Am I the problem? It's really high. I do. I do have to say though, like, because even this Brandon jury thing, right? Like, I wrote a story. I think it might have been

while the season was still going. Like early, early look at free agent targets for the debacks. And Brandon jury was on the list. And here he is, you know, being like actually rumored.

Sometimes it's not that complicated. It's not. Like, the debacks need like a right-handed-hitting third baseman. There's not that many. Like, You don't necessarily need, you know, official reports to confirm what some of the, yeah, it's in some ways it's not that complicated. And I do think the debacks and Blue Jays, maybe there's still some.

And that's what actually MLB Trade Rumors said, said, I mean, it was like an article that wasn't trying to say, hey, we're confirming this on any information. Yeah, it was more speculative sort of. Arizona was one of six teams listed as the most logical trade partner for Toronto. But what I thought was interesting was, of all the six teams listed, they confirmed that. Arizona was in fact the one that made the most sense. Interesting. It made the most sense for Toronto to do a deal and it made the most sense for the debacks to do the deal.

I just can't help but wonder, does speculation like this get things moving? Like, I mean, you know, like if Mike Hazen kind of reads this, is Mike Hayeson ever going to be like, you know what? Maybe they're right. I'm going to call Toronto again, right? Like, I don't know. I'm just saying, like, it's funny. I'm going to have to go pretty hard no on that.

I don't think Mike Hazen is looking. to MLV trade rumors to figure out which players he should be going after. But yeah, I mean, there is some actual reported information backing a connection with the Blue Jays. I believe they were on the list of teams that has checked in on the Diamondbacks young outfielders. So, yeah, it's not rocket science. But in this day and age, it feels like any team that's trying to make a move is checking in on talented young players other teams have, right? And really, when it comes down to it, Arizona has made it known that they are not really looking for. prospects in return at this point.

They're trying to get Major League ready talent or players that are currently in Major League Baseball. They still, the Blue Jays still do have sort of a hole in the outfield. They got Kevin Kiermeyer, but outside of that, you've got Whitmerfield, who maybe could play some in the outfield, probably more so a second baseman. You've got George Springer. You've got Lordus Guriel Jr. Don't know if they necessarily view him as like a true everyday guy. So there is still kind of an opening there.

to add one of the Diamondbacks left-handed hitting outfielders, and, of course, the Blue Jays still have three catchers, which it seems like kind of a near certainty that by the time opening day rolls around, they're probably not going to have three catchers anymore. I agree with that. Well, if you haven't had a chance to do so, make sure to check out our website over at go phnx.com. Of course, Jesse has wonderful articles, both unlocked and for diehards only. We thank you guys for being here right now in the PHNX Sports YouTube channel.

If you're joining us right now, make sure to subscribe if you haven't done so already, sign up for notifications. That way you don't miss when any of our shows go live. If you're listening to us on your favorite audio podcasting app, please subscribe to us there as well if you haven't done so. And leave us a review. We appreciate the feedback very much. And also, that's not the only thing, you guys. Of course, we have OGs in the house. And OGs is my favorite way to forget about the Arizona Diamondbacks, not making any trade maneuvers this offseason, any offseason free agency acquisition. You just got to wait until January. I think you might see a little bit more moving in January. Probably nothing in the next 10 days.

I'm an impatient person. I run hot, Jesse. I have a hard time waiting for stuff. So, oh, Jesus, my way of making myself more patient. And of course, you know, what I'm suggesting to them is a holiday flavor. I didn't see a holiday flavor. They had a special summertime flavor. I don't know what a holiday flavor would consist of because I just think of gross candies, really, during the holiday.

I'm not a big peppermint guy. I don't like the little winter green. You know, yeah, peppermint is probably the most like wintery flavor, right? Like pumpkin, pumpkin is to fall as peppermint is to winter. There you go. There you go. I don't want any of that. I like the flavors that they already have.

Orange cream school being my favorite. But of course, check in with our friends at OGs. They have a wide range of doses, strains, and flavors for you to choose from. No matter what mood you're in, no matter how impatient you are, they'll help you out. So make sure to check them out at your local dispensary. must be 21 years or over to enjoy. Jesse, I got some news that's going to bring some smiles to D-Bags fan spaces. Faj, can we do a little spy on our exes, please?

Yeah, it's that time, folks. We're going to spy on our exes. And this one kind of exciting for some of you, most of you, I'm sure. The Atlanta Braves. You think this is exciting for them? Yeah, this is exciting for them. They're going to be excited about this. The Atlanta Braves made their first free agent signing of the offseason signing outfielder.

Jordan Looplo! Wow, that is their first, isn't it? It is their first. I guess the Sean Murphy thing is, yeah, that's a trade. That's not a free agency. I mean, they're active, right, so you can't say they're not doing things. Also, if there's any teams that doesn't fucking need to add more to their already impressive lockdown roster, it's Atlanta.

But they do sign Looplo to a one-year, $1.4 million contract, ensuring that he's, He's not coming back to the Arizona Diamondbacks next season. Jesse, what are your thoughts? Yeah. I mean, once you, once you non-tender him, you sort of, you know, you sort of expected that he probably wasn't, walked away. Probably wasn't coming back. But yeah, one year, $1.4 million, Jordan Loeplo was projected to get about $2 million in arbitration. So, you know, if you're sort of evaluating this in terms of, you know, was Jordan Looplo truly worth less on the open market than what the debacks would have paid, I guess the answer is yes. The answer is yes. Yeah, you got 1.4 million, which makes sense after the season he had in Arizona. But I will also say that Jordan

Luplo is probably a bounceback candidate. Like I would not be that surprise going into next year. Ben in the comment says Loublow's going to rake. Yeah, you're right. It really, it really wouldn't surprise me that much. It was sort of a weird year for him. Playing time was a little bit all over the place. And he's more of a platoon guy. But it just seemed like he never really was able to to find a groove offensively. And he's still relatively young. I think he's a good hitter. I think he's better than what he showed last year.

Two teams have still not signed a single free agent, Jesse. That would be the Miami Marlins and the Milwaukee Brewers. Meanwhile, six teams have only signed one free agent. On the other end of the spectrum, you have... The debacks not among them. They're not. Yeah, Miguel Castro and Scott McGuff. Yep, that just gets out of the range of this conversation just a bit.

but the Mets, meanwhile, have signed the most with seven free agents. And they've just thrown money around willy-nilly, if you will. And it seems to really be feast or famine for the most part when it comes to teams either already being good and getting better or just the elite team staying at the top, right? I mean, outside of the Texas Rangers, we have not really seen any team make a big splash. I feel like that's changing their position from being at the bottom to the top, right? That's a good point. I mean, I guess you could maybe make the case that Carlos Correa, like, maybe elevates the giants to some sort of a new level.

We're talking about the fucking giants that are good like every other year anyway, right? Emphasis on every other year. Yeah, every other year. Although I did just, I don't know if you saw this report. This came out maybe a couple of hours ago. I don't know if there's any updates on this just yet. But apparently the giants postponed introducing Carlos Correa to the media because there were some. issues with his physical.

There were some health concerns that showed up there. So, yeah, I'm not here to say that Carlos Correa to the giant seal is falling through or is being renegotiated. None of that is known yet. But it is something interesting to monitor for sure. Yeah, for sure. But baseball will never be competitive when you have this difference in pay, when you have this difference in spending.

I mean, like, what do you mean by competitive? Like, fair? No, not fair. Right. But like competitive in some ways. Yes, in some ways. Yeah, but it's like you said, it's fair. When you have one team spending three times the amount of another team within their same division, you know, it's...

Yeah. I saw a great analogy when it came to being a parent around this time of the year, right? And it's something that we don't often think about is how is it when one kid gets spoiled by Santa? How does another kid feel when like they didn't get anything from Santa, right? Like, and I kind of feel this way about us as teams, right? Like, what did we do? What did we do to deserve nothing? You know, like...

Who is Santa in the analogy? Rob Manfred? Is Rob Manfred Santa? Because you've got a bunch of owners. You don't just have one owner. Jesse, because there's lots of Santas, too, and I don't really know how to express that with you without ruining a certain level of your childlike wonderment.

But I will say that every team owner could be considered Santa in this scenario. Every team owner is considered Santa. Every team owner is in child. charge of getting us something special. So it's not that like Santa has favorites. It's just that there are different Santas. Yeah. And they have different levels of benevolence.

That's it. Essentially is what you're saying. Okay. The world is a cruel and unfair place. So who gets crampus? Huh? So who gets crampus? The Miami Marlins.

Miami Marlins for sure. Miami Marlins. Have crampus running things over there. I don't know. But anyway, good luck to good luck to the teams like us that don't get a happy Christmas or whatever. Anyway, if you guys haven't done so already, you're going to get wonderful content like this Christmas Santa talk right here here at GoPHNX. But of course, get yourself a membership because you'll get yourself a free t-shirt or hat from the PHNX locker every year.

Every year you sign up. You'll get 20% off of your merchandise over there. You'll get all sorts of content, including Jesse's newsletter for diehards only, as well as specific events that we are going to only have diehards come out to. Most importantly, you get discounts. So I said the 20% off. You get discounts on events to like our upcoming P-HNX, 4-Peaks Tea Party on January 13th. As Jesse pointed out, Friday the 13th. So make sure to come out and, you know, protect your neck, you know.

I'm going to be on, I'm going to be there, but I am going to be on guard. Yeah, at all time. You just come aware, you know. If Jesse has both a ping pong paddle and an axe in his hand, I don't want you to think anything different of it. But of course, like I said, diehards get that discount. 45 per person, 36 for diehards, 160 for a foursome, 120 for diehards. And that includes unlimited range balls, a set of rental clubs. We're going to be watching the Sons versus the Timberwolves with our friends from the

PHNX Sons. We're going to have our friends from Big Drive Energy out there as well as plenty of our partners out there, not only providing you guys with wonderful stuff, swag, but you'll also be a chance to buy our stuff from our PHNX locker and more. We'll also have mini games, like I said, including playing Jesse and ping pong. Is there a three-point shootout? Did I hear that correctly? There is a three-point shootout. Yeah, there will be a basketball hoop of the three.

So plot twist. It's a shot at glory. So for anybody who hasn't been to the waste management open Wednesday event, right, the pro-am day. I have not. They do this thing called shot of glory at the end of the day where all of the celebrities that played in the pro-am, they all huddle around 16. and they all take one shot at the green and I think closest to the pin wins some amount of money. So we're doing a play on that, right?

Instead of a shot at Glory on the golf course, they're going to put a basketball hoop out there and people are going to shoot three. Let's go. I'm going to. Wait, so is it like whoever makes the farthest three wins? That I do not know. Oh.

All I'm saying is I very well may be more competitive in a three-point shootout situation than even in a ping pong situation. I did win a three-point contest when I was in high school and I will hold it over the varsity player who is like six inches taller than me. You never cease to raise me. I have I have a fair amount of pride of this one moment from back in high school and I don't know if I'll ever be able to really let go of it.

Sure, I get it. I'm just saying I would come into a three-point shootout with a fair amount of confidence. Brian Watson, are you bringing your own paddle to the ping pong game is what they want to know? You know, my skills translate to any environment, any playing conditions, any level of equipment, whether good or bad. Someone needs to put Jesse in his place. He's just on one with this confidence. He has the amount of confidence that I pretend to have but could never have in my entire life. And he's so subtle about it, too.

He's like, yeah, by the way, I'll kick your ass with ping pong. I've been talking up my ping pong skills for several months now. And because we don't have a ping pong table in the office, I haven't had to actually defend. There's no way to verify if he's actually good at this or not, but I can't wait to find out. Mark Salara says, if I make it, can we force Jesse to shop during a normal period of time during Christmas? Mark also asked earlier if you needed anything from Chandler Mall. I did see that. I did see that.

Because it makes us, it gives us all anxiety, Jesse. It gives us all anxiety. But come out, January 13th, join us for a fun night of golf food drinks. Test prizes, getting your ass kicked by Jesse Friedman and more. Of course, like I said, our PHNX Suns crew will be hosting a watch party for the Sons versus Timberwolves. The Mike Trout of Pingpong. We'll be out there providing beer samples and swag. So join us for that.

And if you can't make it out, make sure to grab some Four Peaks, Brewing Company beer, wherever you grab your beer. And join us remotely, even though we have no way to have you tune in. We'll just pretend like you're there. Must be 21 or over to enjoy and enjoy responsibly. It's time, ladies and gentlemen, for me and this guy to. forever end our relationship. Because it is time for another edition of Jesse hasn't seen it. And this time we gave him a very special assignment.

One that I'm so glad. I am so glad that Leah is not here to have to hear because I have a feeling that you would have infuriated both me and her. I probably would have. I probably would have. First, confess to the people how you've. never seen a vacation movie. I haven't. Never seen a national... And I didn't know there were multiple until I did a Google search after watching this one. Apparently there's one in Europe and there's one in Las Vegas. And I swear I read about another Christmas one, but apparently you're telling me I misread that.

I'm telling you, well, I don't know. Sometimes there's those like direct to video crap ones where they didn't even have the original cast of it. I don't know if something like that exists. Maybe there's a cheap knockoff or something. When you were looking for the sandlot, you brought up sandlot too and I've never seen a sandlot. I came very close to mistakenly watching Sandlot 2 because it's significantly easier to find on streaming services than the actual Sandlot movie. I swear to God. Anyway, I digress. Let's go ahead and bring in the first screenshot here, Jacob, which is of Clark driving the car in the most outrageous situation. If you notice, my shirt has little, you see, it's got little, little station wagons with a tree on top. Well equipped.

Roosevelt takes care of you well, Derek. But yeah, so we have this situation where Clark Rizwald driving the family out, right? They're selecting the Christmas tree. It's such a hot opening. It was, this is the part where I actually liked the movie, all right? This is the part where I actually was enjoying myself because it appeared at the time that Clark was like going to be the craziest guy in this film, right? That was, I was very much under the impression that like, okay, this guy's family is pretty normal, like his kids, pretty normal.

They're kind of doing the, like, I'm embarrassed about my dad thing. Yeah. And Clark is just like, just like absolutely crazy. Yeah, just absolutely crazy. And then as the movie went on, I realized that Clark is in fact probably the most reasonable or at least one of the most reasonable characters in the movie. In the movie compared to some of the people we meet a little bit later. Okay. So first of all, yes, that's the point.

Because Clark is a good dude. It's the exterior factors that really make him a mad bad. I mean, I feel like that's pulled out in all of these scenes, right? Whether it's his family, whether it's a beautiful woman at the department store, whether it's, you know, his fantasies over him having a pool. These are all things that make him act unreasonable. What exactly was the pool thing? Was he going to build a pool in his backyard?

Was that the idea? Yes. Okay. Because that was just, I don't know. was just like do we know where this movie is set it doesn't really seem that conducive to a swimming pool to me it's definitely a back back east kind of thing here's the yeah back east if you go to like areas of new york or ohio and places yeah because there's like mountains and stuff out there so if you go there you'll notice that they're like pools are a scarcity but there's there's this thing about

like being truly wealthy when you have not only a pool in that kind of part of town but an under below ground in ground pool, that shit's unheard of. Okay. Because most, you know, of course, the idea here is you want to go pull at your pool. Wait, wait. Summers are Chicago. It's Chicago? Yeah.

Then like, I don't think Chicago. Because he wears like Blackhawk stuff and everything. Right, you're right. Okay. You're right. So Chicago makes sense. But then why is he like driving into the mountains? Like that didn't.

There are mountains in Illinois. I spent, I spent an entire summer in Illinois, Derek. And I did not come across one mountain peak in my time there. I drove a lot. All over. drove just about every nick and cranny of Illinois I've been to but anyway. So you're doing the thing again

where you're nitpicking. Okay. I am sort of, I'm granted I'm sort of nitpicking. All right. We can go to the next screenshot here. So what's going on here? I need a little explanation on the electrical situation here. Have you never put up fucking Christmas lights on your house? Oh, I absolutely

have and I know that this kind of whatever you want to call this mess is not necessary. Oh, it is not necessary. Right. Because the idea here is that Clark's a jackass, and he's not doing things the proper way. So things are dangerous and horrible because he needs to have entirely too many lights plugged in here. Are we going to go frame by brain and then explain these things to you? I don't want to defend this movie this much. Go ahead.

These are just all of the moments that kind of drove me nuts throughout the whole thing. All right. So let's go to the next one. So here we have, oh, oh, man. I really wanted to think that Eddie was funny, but I didn't. Eddie just drove me mad. Like, I was just so, I was just so angry at him the entire time. And yes, I grant you to everyone wondering, you know, why am I nitpicking in all the small details? Fairpoint.

It's a comedy. It's not really meant to be treated in this way. But I will say, I did not find Eddie to be funny. I just found him to be extremely cringy and irritating. Yes. Yes. You're accurately finding the role. Like so far all of you,

all you've said is I have completely felt the way that the people making this movie have wanted me to feel about these people so far. Yes, you're supposed to feel that way about the lights all being plugged in. It's supposed to give you anxiety. It's supposed to look like he's about to set his fucking house on fire. And yes,

because of Eddie is the most obnoxious human being on the planet. That's the point. But it was over. He's just one of those energy vampires that just sucks your, sucks your energy out. It was so bad. Ruins your. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the point. Clark wanted an ideal happy family Christmas specifically with his own family, not with all these jackasses. All right. But so there's Eddie and then there's Eddie's wife. And this is just a devastating moment. This I just, I just like this moment again, it wasn't funny.

It was like, oh my gosh. Like seeing the turn. turkey opened up and look like this. And then they're all eating around the table and its organs. And it's like, this is not the, I don't understand how you can have a turkey that looks so good on the outside and looks like this on the inside. Yeah.

What else you got? All right. We can go to the, we can't. You cannot possibly. Are you going to defend the cat? Well, here's what's funny is, uh, my wife is related to this cat. Oh my gosh. This is like my wife's aunt or aunt cousins, second cousins, some ridiculous thing.

I wish I would have fucking verified this with her before coming on this show. But yes, this is like that was the cat wrangler that owned this cat in this movie. The cat came out fine, Jesse. You know, the cat survived. The cat survived. The cat's fine. But what did you thought on the cat? Oh, again, just utterly like, like it didn't make me laugh.

It just made me like, this is just so sad. Like, this cat just got burned and they're like chuckling about it. I think Eddie makes like a nine lives joke or something like that. Anyway, let's go to the next one here. There's a few other moments throughout this that I have to point out. So at the end, this is close to the end of the movie and Clark is, you know, they're all ready to leave. And Clark is like, no, you should stay. And I'm like, no, you should leave.

Everyone should go. You should get out of here as soon as possible. And of course, I knew that wasn't going to happen. But I was really hoping the movie would just end at this point. You get the happy ending where he gets the jelly of the month club, right? That's fair. Cousinette is the true hero who goes and kidnaps his boss. And then he almost gets arrested.

And then the police forgive everything because it was just a misunderstanding. And that's how that stuff works out. The ending, I did sort of appreciate the ending, I will say. A couple of other moments. Like, what? The dog jumps through the door? Like, that just, that seems a little far-fetched. Am I wrong here, Derek?

You obviously did not grow up watching movies in the 80s. Dogs jump through the door all the time in movies in the 80s. Was it far-fetched, Jesse? Ah. You deserve that one. Are there any other screenshots? No, that's it. That's it.

Okay. All right, then we can put up the graphic with all of my, all of my fancy ratings on the, again, these are percentiles. What in the actual fuck is this? Yeah, but I'm giving, I'm giving a 93 for Aunt Bethany's patriotism because those were, those were by two, by far my two favorite moments of this movie

when Aunt Bethany breaks out in the Pledge of Allegiance when they're trying to pray at the table. And then the way that it ends with the star-spangled banner was also really, on Bethany, by far my favorite. character in this movie. Come on. You have to appreciate on Bethany, too, right, Derek?

I appreciate everybody in this movie. They're all great. This is a great fucking movie. What I can't appreciate is you've given the plot a 26. The rewatchability of 33 and the overall score of 37? Yeah, I have no desire to watch this

ever again. And the plot did not develop. Like, I was... What do you mean? The plot did not develop? I was one hour into this movie and it felt like some crazy things that happened and also nothing had happened. Like it's the kind of movie that like it's designed to make you chuckle, but like characters don't develop.

Things don't really change in any meaningful way. We're just like hanging out this hang out of this house having all sorts of ridiculous things happen over and over again. Someone else. He's being so selfish in the movie and then he does something for Clark. Like how is that not changing? How is Clark? I mean, maybe he changed a little bit. How is Clark not realizing that his gigantic rant and the way he's been acting and everything caused his cousin to go kidnap his boss?

I just wish he'd noticed it a little bit sooner. All he wanted was his bonus, Jesse. God damn it. 37? 37. Yeah. Yeah, Jacob mistakenly put 42 and I made him lower it because it needed to be 37. Not 42.

Oh, it was okay. All right. I'm blaming the wrong person, apparently. but. Apparently, apparently, I am somewhat alone in this because everyone in the comments is giving me a very hard time. But I'm just being honest here. I did not, I did not find this movie. There were some moments that made me chuckle.

But overall, it was one of the worst movies I have possibly ever seen. It was just so off the rails that I just, I couldn't do it. It was not a, not a fun time. Pike, go watch the movie and then you can boo him too. Kyle says, I'm actually on Jesse's side. The movie is overrated and extremely unfunny. Yeah, that's really what it was. You both were born in the 2000s, weren't you?

You were born in the 2000s. I was not born in the 2000s. You were born after I graduated high school. I know that for a fact. Possible. I hate all of this and I hated that and I almost don't want to assign him to any more movies, but I feel like. Kyle said exactly what is sort of on my mind with this, though.

I think it's overrated based on how much you and Leah in particular, like, built this up as being like one of your favorite movies at all time. And it wasn't, there were some things that were funny, right? Aunt Bethany, she really made me laugh. But a lot of it just wasn't funny. It was just like, this is just stupid and ridiculous. And I kid you not, when this, when the end came on the screen at the conclusion of this film, I was watching it with my sister-in-law. And her word, her exact words were, oh, thank God. This movie is finally over and I felt very similarly.

So there you go. Someone asked in the comments what is your favorite Christmas movie? My favorite Christmas movie is a Charlie Brown Christmas by probably a wide margin. It's legendary. Well, on that note, I think we're going to wrap things. I have nothing to say. This is the end of the PHNXDBACs podcast. You guys have watched it.

Apparently that's where we're going with this. the whole series because this shit's a wrap. Before we go, of course, I want to let you know that I lost in our fantasy football league. I'm very sad about that. I probably am as mad at his receiver as Aaron Rogers was last night for him missing that touchdown there at the end with very few seconds left to go. That would have given me the win. And obviously, this is why I'm not very good at this because I can't even remember my own

wide receiver's name. But sons are back. That's the most important thing to take away from here. New owner, they're back, baby. So, of course, go bet on them. And if you haven't gone on the Drafking Sportsbook app yet, sign up with our code of PHNX. I don't know what you're waiting for.

You place a $5 pre-game money line bet on the Sons or any other NBA team win, but let's be honest, do it on the Sons to win their game, and you will get $150 in free bets if they do. That's code PHNX only at the Drafking Sportsbook. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. I think is Devin Booker still out?

Yeah, Devin Booker's still out. Yeah. We might want to pause on that. We might want to pause on betting on the suns on the money line just for a little bit. But of course, make sure to do so. And you can get yourself some money. Again, check in for opting in on all of their specials that they have, especially on NFL football. They're always throwing some free money your way.

And that's exactly what it is. So make sure to keep an eye out for that on the Drafking Sportsbook app. Kyle says his favorite Christmas movie, Jesse, is Muppet Christmas Carol or a Christmas story. No, no, Kyle, no. Kyle, you cannot like a Christmas story and hate National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. There's just no fucking way both of those things can exist with the same person. I'm sorry. You don't see how narrow-minded you're talking.

I see how narrow-minded you're being when you watched this movie, Jesse. I saw how narrow-minded you were that entire review. Don't even get me started on that. The more we do these movie review things, I'm coming to realize that, like, I'm not really allowed to have my own opinions on these movies. Like if you're giving me a movie assignment, you fully expect that I will view the movie in identical fashion to how you view the movie. Yes, that's how I feel about everything. I'm not sure that was the greatest subject. At all times.

Yeah. No, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking. This is what happens. Don't cause yourself grief by expecting people to be something they're not. Right? We know who Jesse is. I know exactly who he was.

And we let him off the hook. I am still beside myself right now. I will say that Christmas Carol does slap. Die Hard is also a very good. Die Hard was actually on this particular night that I watched National Ampence Christmas Vacation. Die Hard was the movie that I was going to watch. And I convinced my family members to watch National Amphins Christmas Vacation instead.

And now apparently I'm banned from forever picking movies, our family gathering again. You're banned in my house too. That's for guys. Apparently I'm banned from everyone at this point. And a lot of people here. Maybe you and a couple of these guys can go watch movies together. Kyle, definitely. You and Kyle can go watch movies.

Thank you guys so much for being here today and for witnessing the end of this show. In the meantime, you can get us on Twitter. I'm at cap underscore caveman with a K. Jesse is at Jesse and Friedman. Our show is at PHNX underscore DVax, but of course all roads lead to at PHNX underscore sports on Twitter, Instagram. and Facebook. We thank you guys again so much for joining us on behalf of Faj, Jesse and myself.

We appreciate your time. And remember, kids, baseball is fun. But how the fuck did you give it a 37, Jesse? Oh my God, I can't believe this. This is ridiculous. I just think that it's the most hoarse shit review you've ever done in your life. I know you've done bad reviews before, but this one fucking takes the cake. I cannot believe this is the number you gave the show, Jesse.

Oh, my God.