Picky Boys Podcast - First Date At Ikea - Picky Boys Podcast #156

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

In today's episode, Antonio and Danny try smelling salts then discuss going to Ikea on a first date, giving up your limbs to fly, and, questionable doctor's diplomas. Leave a comment below telling us the best place for a first date and enjoy the episode! Make sure to check out all of the guests on today's episode: Antonio - https://www.instagram.com/antprisco/ Danny - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT0Nlw66CO2YSUc0kLxsNVA Picky Boys Podcast - https://www.instagram.com/pickyboyspodcast/

i'm tasting the yeah yeah i'm not tasting anything i would never want to lose a limb and be poor neither high five we could have it we could have whatever problem they're looking for no my uncle burnt them all into discs green man green boys green man green here we go here we go here we go hello hello hello way more vigor than last time last time time i was very fatigued because of that cova vaccine i'm not gonna lie it's all right you know it happens the best of us not scaring anybody please take it but you know i mean it's just you know my arm was my arm was feeling bad i just like i was just generally like you know you know you ever been like just like yeah yeah yeah that's pretty much how i walk

around yeah constantly yeah i was furniture shopping because i'm i'm totally in here now and I was furniture shopping at Ikea at 6 o'clock at night and that is the worst time to ever go to Ikea the test of a man's patience is being in line in Ikea while

like just everything's happening around you there's families there's like kids climbing on different things people are just like yelling out loud it's terrifying you don't make Ikea sound like a very fun experience you know but it for for such a dis disorganized pit of chaos i love ikea like ikea is i i love i love their brand

i love i love what they do their furniture right aren't don't they isn't that one of the places like you know how they always say like the same thing with disney is like oh yeah it's designed they did it purposely making these buildings so you'd never leave you're here forever like pandora's labyrinth well that's kind of true i mean it has a path so you know the i don't know the last time you've been to ikea is never you've never been to like oh my god where we have to bring you to ikea we're gonna video you know 25 of the people 25 of people go to ikea just to eat do not buy furniture just eat their swedish meatballs isn't that specifically that's or their food isn't that the same thing like isn't costco's revenue for like the hot dogs

that are eaten at their food marketplace, half their something? Well, someone, I heard a thing about the Costco guy, the Costco co-founder. Somebody suggested that they raise the price of the hot dog to $2. And he shot him in the face.

No, no, he said, I will kill you. I will murder you if you do this. Suggest that one more time, Dave, and I swear to God, I'm throwing you off the roof. But back to Ikea. Ikea, fantastic place.

It is, it's actually amazing. So basically, you start off second floor, showroom. Nice. It's a convoluted maze that takes you through different staged rooms. So it'll look like you're in an apartment. Like a full-blown kitchen. And on the things, it'll say, this apartment is 400 square feet. Or this apartment is 1,500 square feet.

And so there's all these layouts and designs of different apartments. So you can kind of see which furniture goes with what. and then each thing has a tag and on the tag it'll show you it'll give you the section number you go downstairs downstairs is where you you shop for the items too many steps and then a big warehouse where you can match the the number that was on the furniture you liked to the uh like pieces of actual furniture are there people living in the staged areas no okay well i think but it always seems like it because there's like a random t-shirt that looks like it's been used on the counter it's like someone living no because when you're i mean you're shopping for furniture so

people like sit down just kind of like like pretend to have a conversation pretend to you know live in the space you know marth i could i could really see us sitting in this in this living room yeah eating a turkey but it would be funny if they staged the apartments with um like like real world apartment situation yeah yeah like they just had like divorce papers on the counter but like you have to solve the mystery it's like oh this is a something's wrong like a bunch of overdue bills like there's a red handprint on the knife in the cupboard it's like okay what's going on here i don't know it's part of a csi that would be pretty i would i would spend all my time in ikea if they did that yeah but either way you gotta go it's a fantastic experience

anybody's out out there should know if you're if you ever get an apartment or ever go move into anything and it's your first apartment first college dorm go to ikea go to ikea it's cheap affordable family friendly good quality furniture can't say enough use code picky build look yeah i if i was sponsored by ikea i'd go i'd go berserk i would i would love that but it it can get a little weird uh when you're like because you go into these rooms and you know you're in like you're in the bathroom of this fake apartment and then another person who's perusing the furniture like comes in and you're just like oh get out it's mine you're just like hey it's my place welcome with my place mirror a like like a tinder date it's like the awkward moments oh my god that is

such a good uh maybe maybe i sound like a crazy person i come up with something i think that's such a great tinder date or date idea is to go to ikea and and because because if if if a person like i mean i don't know maybe not you but if a person is totally uh anti my aesthetic how are we gonna be compatible aesthetic or you mean like humor like because like i feel like you have to be kind of you have to feel like this guy's a little humorous to agree to this ikea it's like a quirky it's like a quirky thing it's weird you know but like but also like if if if if you're walking through with this with this date and then they go oh look look over there isn't that a nice couch you go excuse me this is a putrid couch oh you mean you're tasting get out oh you're tasting

their interior design like tastes i'm tasting i'm tasting the year that yeah i'm not tasting anything no no you're tasting i was thinking i'm getting a gauge on on whether they know what what's what you know i mean i feel like you're jumping on the first date to step like 40 but you know i'm trying to i'm trying to vet for the future you know yeah yeah that's what everyone's on to i'm not putting it like the sunken cost fallacy i can't put in the work if once we start building a home, now all of a sudden- This is my home.

You want to discuss- Yeah, you want purple and yellow. Yeah, exactly. What are you doing? Get out of here. I was thinking more, I was going to be more afraid. If someone asks me on a Tinder date to Ikea,

it's like, do they want me? Am I going to be swindled into buying a couch for an over-the-hand hand job? I'd be more afraid of that. I'm like, I don't want to pay anything. I barely want to pay for dinner. I don't want to buy this person a couch. That's what I'd be more afraid of.

Yeah. Not caring if they want the blue sheets with pink sheets or the purple sheets. But also, good affordable date idea because the reason so many people go to the Ikea kitchen or whatever is because it's like dirt cheap. You can get like a full breakfast plate for like $1.75, like eggs, potatoes, sausage, $1.75. Grits. I want to – But you have to assemble it yourself.

A serious, serious question. So let's say there's 20 people. You ask literally all 20, you want to have our first date at Ikea? How many yeses are you getting? Or do you have to up that size pool? I don't know. I think you could get one. I think you could get one.

I think... So that's already one foot in the door of the vetting process. I'm sorry, but you've never been to Ikea. You have no idea what this place... So you're saying you've got 50-50? Yeah. I want to do it. Can we make a fake Tinder profile and just strictly ask people to Ikea?

My dream first date is Ikea. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah, we're going to do that. Who do we use as our profile picture? Let's just do a JT. Yeah, we can just do a JT. Yeah, we're going to catfish everybody with JT. JT is banned from Tinder.

I don't know why. But not his picture. We'll make a different account. That's true. We'll just beef it up. Yeah. JT's like... We'll put him riding a horse.

Listen, I think it'll be good for him. You know, the thing is, again, it's like a quirky thing. Well, we'll definitely send him on the date. And then we'll just be behind him with spy cameras. I don't want to send JT to a date with someone who agrees to go to Ikea on the first date. I'll tell you this much. I wouldn't send him with you. I'll tell you this much.

They definitely wouldn't be the first person to f*** in Ikea. No doubt. You're a step jumper. We're going to get you a master stepper, whatever that exercise thing is, because you've got to learn how to take one step at a time. You're hopping steps. You're a step hopper. I hate those people. go one step at a time.

Why are you doing two? I can't catch up. Let's stay on the Stairmaster for a second here. Stairmaster, have you ever seen those at the gym? You know, the Stairmasters? Yeah. Every time someone is on those things, it looks like they're like a slave,

like just slaving away because it's like- They don't look happy. First of all, they're so much higher than the rest of the gym. Yeah. So the whole gym can see them and almost always they have their arms on the thing. their heads down it's like how do how can i keep going left right it's like it's it it looks it

looks and they're just dripping sweat and i'm climbing the empire state building right now can you uh do your treadmill somewhere else please yeah they that it really for me it looks like it's a very uh arduous machine i have something i never tried today what is that smelling salts oh my god don't retry it why do those possibly they hurt what do you mean they hurt oh my god i know this i've never tried them i want them to try this uh i just snap them right have you ever done it uh one one time i did but it was really a long ago i totally just popped out oh i understand why people pop out every time i complain with someone that they popped out of the headset my back do you know what this is like no i have no

idea it was okay all right so you go first all right you want me to go yeah yeah because because you do the fake reaction and i'll do the real reaction you pop right you pop and you go well sniff all right well that's enough i'm not doing it absolutely got him people whoa no i didn't i didn't sniff it okay let me all right i'll do it i'll do it i'll do it i want to save it for like a special video where we all do you were crying yeah dang looks like he swallowed a long hot dog it hurts at first and it's like yeah what does hurt mean how does it hurt like what do you mean by hurt what do i put this on table it's fine we got a table now it's red i mean they take people they just get this like gets people out of a coma

that's not a coma uh of uh like knocked out 35 alcohol that's like a shot of captain morgan keep out of reach oh my god jesus christ look it's like a train hits you in the face really We do. All right. Ready? Yeah. Oh, I know exactly what you mean by pain. What the hell?

Oh, man. I like that. Oh, I like that. You should not like that. Oh, my God. Ow, dude. yeah it's like the first the first like little it's like a burning almost yeah i didn't i didn't like you don't like what does hurt mean you know yeah it's like you it's like it's like you

went underwater and just took a breath and then right and then right after you took a breath somehow the water magically went away and now you could breathe it's a combination of like you feel like you almost you almost died and now there's relief and now you're energetic from it yeah well i cleared up the sinuses the allergies were killing me oh thank god these are the same thing bath salts right uh i yes well i mean i don't think it would matter because you have to smoke bath salts to make them you know to make you eat people's faces dude you know you know i when i first heard bath salts i thought that like you got to be in the bath to do it that's what they are i thought you had to like like no do the drug yeah yeah yeah i thought like it was a bath bomb that

you throw in the bath and it like gets absorbed through your skin and ass or something i swear to god dude i had no idea what it was like people were eating people i was like i was afraid of the bath so basically that's what it is it's like these they're like they're like salts that i think like you know make your bath you know more luxurious or what this that and the other and you're supposed to like let them dissolve in the water but people put them smoke they smoke the little crystals okay and then that is like you know really dangerous and it makes you eat people's faces off notoriously from that one guy in florida although i'm sure it also just makes you kind of like you know you know there's there's that it's like that one story of the guy eating this and

that's why i say everybody's like oh bath salts eat your face off well it's the same thing though the people like uh can't do lsd or acid because you're gonna fly off the roof because like maybe one person thought he was a bird i remember i remember that they they took us to they took us upstairs in high school and they put us on the edge of the roof they put us on the edge roof gave us a tab of acid and they're like let's see if you're strong enough don't you feel like jumping don't you feel like jumping and then they would have a rope attached to us and then whoever jumped would just never did it ever again yeah yeah but all it takes is that one person to take the acid jump off and fly and then that's true and then once that one person does get off

get some lift off get some speed and he does fly everyone's gonna try it would you give up a limb to fly and you can fly as fast as you can run but you can you can go you don't get tired i can oh i can only fly as fast as i can run what are you gonna be that's a problem what are you gonna be a sonic jet yeah but you don't get tired so let's say your max speed you're maxing out at four miles per hour at least you'll be a consistent four miles per hour even though you could probably max out at like eight you could probably max out at eight yeah yeah yeah well if i don't get tired yeah you don't get tired okay well then yeah i can what and technically the more fit you get the the faster you could run the faster your top speed will get but you do have

to give up a limb but do i get tired when i'm running now yes okay i don't know different muscle different form like obviously there's no way flying and running can use the same muscle i don't think yeah yeah yeah i i do that which limb also the thing is i mean can't you just use physics on your side if you if you if you fly up right then go down you're accelerating speed oh you're saying you you fall you're falling and accelerating yeah i guess okay okay so what you're saying is if you fly up as high as you can go and still breathe then go forward for a while at your top max running speed and then just let go and you can like kind of paris power wing it oh no you know all you have to do is this actually now i'm thinking about it all you need it's like

you need like a superhero costume you know how the flash the flash actually can't run fast in normal clothes he'll just be naked every time essentially so he makes like a a suit that can just um i didn't know that heat resistance so all you need is like a wingsuit you need like a superhero suit. Yeah. And that'll get you some extra boost. And give up a limb for that?

Yeah. Which limb? Hell yeah, give up an arm. Why would you give up an arm? Or a leg. You could fly. Give up a leg. Yeah.

Or would you give up both legs? Yeah. Get a little, like, Would you give up three limbs? Now you're just a flying man. Flying nub. You would give up three limbs?

You could still keep your pee-pee hole and your poop-a-hole. I didn't think I'd have to give those up. well i don't know i was thinking like above the below the kneecap you know below the knee not the whole not the whole appendage yeah yeah like all right all right all right i don't think i'd give up more than two you know what i'm going all four even if they only need three i'm giving

i'm cutting off my arm or you know just go down to the head but now if you're because because now i'm just this flying freak no you're a super villain i'm this machine what machine the one thing is i don't ever want to lose a limb let's okay let's let's start with this i don't i don't ever want to lose a limb but if i did i'd really really be excited about the different possibilities of cool like a step like uh prosthetics you know and i know they're very expensive so you have to be rich i would never want to lose a limb and be poor that's that's a bad combo i mean that's a bad combo that's definitely a one-two combo yeah that's a bad combo because yeah yeah you know there's a but you know because these are expensive so you know and i and that the that's not lost on

me um i'm keeping my sane mind but if i if i was if it was a rich man and i lost the limb uh you know you can they they they have these new like uh very very artistic and cool looking prosthetic arms and legs and right you know they have all these designs and you know they look like a steampunk guy, you know? I'm getting the notion here that if you were rich, you would choose to lose a limb. Not at this current moment.

If the prosthetics aren't real good, you might be talking something here. Like? Talking about something. So you would rather have something that could punch through cinder block or something that could kick a soccer ball like a thousand yards?

Yeah, again, and I'd rather, I wouldn't rather have any, you know, anybody without a limb out there watching is probably like this. Yeah, no, I I wouldn't rather but it would be cool. You know, there's something cool about it Imagine having like a Terminator hand. Yeah, I mean technically so technically if it was free and no pain I would probably choose to give up a limb and have if it's felt the same just stronger. Yeah

F yeah Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, it's it's not it's not stronger Well, then why would you want to lose the limb what's the point it has to be a little strong i don't want to i've said this i said so you're saying so this is what i don't want to i said if i lost a limb i would there'd be a silver lighting you know i'd be like oh i could have a cool arm no you're saying you'd have the exact same thing just maybe silvery yeah but it's not cool it doesn't have the yeah but but it is cool here straight straight here folks if you if you lose a limb you better be rich yeah or else it'll just be you know oh yeah yeah and

It's okay. These things are very expensive. I mean, and they're starting. The robot arms are starting. They're starting to look good. There's a guy, like, the big test is, like, can you hold a grape without squishing it? You know what impresses me? See, now we're just on this.

The people, like, who's that one guy who gives the speeches and actually does have no limbs and, like, can swim and stuff? That's crazy. I don't know. I have no idea who you're talking about. There's some motivational speech guy who has no limbs, and he does everything. He swims, the happy outlook, the whole nine yards. You see, advice from that guy I trust.

I don't trust a motivational speaker that has a billion dollars, full head of hair, good shoes, and a lot of money. I'm like, what's going on here? But the guy who can change a mindset or keep a mindset to stay happy with no limbs, I'm like, I'd rather listen to that guy. That guy has something I don't. I'd rather listen to him, too. I have something he doesn't. No, I hate to say it. I don't know if I could be friends with that guy.

Because, and I'll explain why. Because all my problems are inconsequential. To someone with no limbs. Like, imagine if I came, like, what I usually do when I came, and I'm like, ah, that traffic on the LIE was horrible. And then you just look to the guy. And then the guy's like, I have no limbs. I can't drive.

And I can run faster than you somehow. I can definitely swim faster. What is happening? and it's like you know i just every even big even big problems like i lost my job oh no no limbs i can't wipe my ass yeah it's i i can't can't have i can't yeah and now like when it's my it's it's it's literally it's me not you it is not you it's me i can't i can't do that and now when he's not around you're you're like and we're talking you're talking about it's like oh he's Isn't he so pretentious?

It's like this guy always would have talked about his no limbs, and everyone's just like, come on, man. Yeah. What are you doing? I'm sorry. You know, it is what it is. It is what it is. I don't know.

Oh, man, that tickled me a little bit. I went to the ears, nose, and throat doctor once, and the guy was just— That is not what he's called. What is it? The ears—I don't know. I'm just the doctor that does the ears, nose, and throat. That guy.

Whoever was—the guy in the back alley behind my house. True, true. I was going to that guy, and he was checking, you know, he was checking you know he's fingering and prodding and he was like you do drugs and i was like no and he was and he said i'm uh oh good i could tell you can't do drugs i was like like my personality like do i am i that am i you know do i have a stunning aura he's like he's like no you're uh there's no holes in your nose and i went oh that's what happens so i mean that's good first of all that means he it was a loaded question to half the people he asked it's a loaded question

and and hey your ears don't throat doctor know what you guys been up to that's all i'm saying i could never do that stuff i i can't even do like flow nays like that i've never done that can we make a video can we try to do that that bothers me can we try to do it i've never done it either i've never done that i mean it's really not an interesting video i mean that reaction is that reaction is going to be much bigger than the flow nays oh yeah but it's like i feel like people like watching the gross and like the discomfort you know like what what could come out of there it's probably just you know a little slimy are you talking about a neti pot i think i'm talking about a neti pot what the hell you know this is like a it's an allergy medicine that you

take through your nose oh yeah no that would be very like oh yeah it's very interesting video people taking allergy medication that's what i was saying oh yeah i'm talking about a neti pot have you ever done that uh yes i have done any pot does it work uh it's also an is it confusing uncomfortable experience uh i've never done it i want to try it i don't know it it's just it's not good it's not good it's like you know you don't it's it's weird washing like it's a stream of water that goes up and up one nostril and out the other that's not good that's not how things work dude you see the people that could swallow a coin and work their ears note and throat muscles to pop it out of their eye i don't see that you know like the same people that that you know why do you

keep including ears in this you said the ears known throat doctor you said the the ears what do the ears have to do with any of this the face doctor whoever's whichever doctor is finger in your face what's the name of that doctor just i would use i'll use the word the only doctor i know that is called by the word that they treat is like the eye doctor everybody calls the eye that's an ophthalmologist yeah no one calls it so but that's the elbow doctor the toe fungus that's the gynecologist what's the difference what's the difference between a gynecologist and an ob-gyn what'd you call me what is that i think the vagina doctor does the vagina things uh you know yeah you know your pap smears your uh your the vice thing they this what is called

the spindula this is a foreign either way okay so that's they do the things that involve that and then the ob gyn is is is to uh pregnancy planning all right like you have to you know because you know there's ob gyn what does it stand for go ob gyn oh boy yeah so it's oh boy oh boy Great Oh boy great Oh boy great No no It's oh boy

Generating Okay Young Newborns Why not Old boy Old boy No because

This is a female I think the female goes to the OBGYN Yeah but I think that Oh I see what you're saying I can't find I can't find it Eh

you know i believe danny oh not our problem oh boy oh boy you're generating females isn't it weird how some uh newborns oh boy you're generating newborns isn't it weird how some acronyms just forgo certain words i don't like wait you can get rid of like uh ends and thes and of i don't like that i don't like that any any word that you wouldn't capitalize in the title of a book you can get rid of it on the acronym that's that's capital that's capitalism i don't like it yeah that's okay i uh there's a stand-up bit about this but the what one of the ones that really doesn't make sense is id it's i and then identification that's i i no no id stands for identification oh so it's the first two letters first two letters

i thought you said i identification it's like that's a good point but but but uh norm mcdonald has a joke about that where he's like it seems like d is pulling a lot of the weight there i stands for i and b stands for identification the rest of the word that's a good point yeah either way shout out norm mcdonald shout out norm mcdonald um either way i gotta schedule my gynecology my gyno my gyno um there's there's probably a penile doctor you ever have ever dude i've never had the doctor uh pat my balls me neither high five we could have it we could have whatever problem they're looking for yeah yeah i told you about the story about dr right oh dr how's he doing two old women i told you about the story about

doctor right you know either way no um no doctor is my my childhood pediatrician here we go he's in jail now uh no no uh maybe we should bleep his name oh it's that kind of story okay because i don't know he's local i don't know all right all right mr t i don't know if dr caught mr t either way uh bleep bleep bleep all of these mr t just please just use mr no no so so so doctor goes uh so so i i've been going here for like 22 years i was one of those i was one of those kids who just like went to went to a pediatrician forever like i just you know i was like 18 and there was you know like a little tiny block puzzle blocks on the thing and he's like you might be a little old for the office um either way so he has all his degrees and diplomas on

the wall and one day i was looking at them and i was like man this guy is a is studied astute like you know student like he's gone to all these places Columbia you know they have all these like he has the big one is Columbia he has a big degree a doctorate from the University of Columbia

he has a country flag you know and time goes on I'm just kind of you know he's talking about blah blah blah you should lose weight blah blah blah you should you know either way so I'm zoning i'm zoning off i'm looking at the butterflies yeah yeah i mean what is he saying that's important come on nothing just give me the you know give me the stuff what is it give me the prescription

let me get on my way no um i don't do drugs uh and but i i look back and upon further inspection it is it is a university degree from the country of colombia oh actually like the country i made a flag joke in south america yeah i made a flag joke i didn't know that's where it was going no no no it and and then i go wait a minute hold on and i'm looking and i'm looking at all these degrees and they're very selectively like which which words are big are very selective it's just columbia and so i was like oh this guy actually just got his doctorate degree from columbia and is like in uh is operating out of like a house and uh you know he's one of those doctors that's in a house you ever been to a house doctor it's weird it's very strange it's

like his mom lives downstairs someone's living room he's like oh you're here for dr and you go upstairs and that was all of a sudden you're in an office either way but so so he's he did not go to the university of columbia he didn't go anywhere he just took a vacation to columbia and printed out a certificate so i never went back that's it but i i couldn't believe it it is actually from columbia nothing's real everybody everything's framed yeah it's all about selective selective type selective type even i could see it would have been fun like minus he might as well have leaned into it like just put harvard like the the county or just the i don't know yale like the bale of hay no misspelled i think people would have started to because

unless this guy should be unless somewhere else looking at it like me you would not have seen well it's not that it's like most people uh leave before they could read they don't keep Going to the same guy That's a pediatrician For 22 years Eventually he's gonna be Found out Just with the time put in

And I told my mom The story She didn't believe me She said No no You must have misread Blah blah blah And so I said

Well I'm not going back And now I don't have A primary care provider Alright you know I feel like a lot of Adults don't You know

I don't know Where people Go to do things Primary PCP I know doctor things PCP Primary care physician

Well, you didn't know the ears, mouth, throat, and hair doctor, so. So, yeah, I mean, I feel like a lot of people just go to, like, a first med, you know, like a walk-in clinic. Yeah, I feel like it's just easier. I'm just built different. It's also, yeah, everyone else is built similar. Danny's built different. I'm cool. All right.

Tell them where to find you. Let's get the flipper out of here. Here, let's switch roles. so uh so so you can find him at antonio prisco no no i knew as soon as soon as this idea came out of your mouth i was like oh this you can find him at ant prisco on instagram um and what is it uh furry baby 92 on only fans no that's that's that's my first son on the furry oh okay okay only fans all right only okay uh anyway where can you find me uh i think they could find you at Danny is watching your mom on Instagram, Pandora, and SoundCloud.

Yes, yes. And Napster. What? You don't know what Napster is? What, do you take naps? Download music. Like, you were a 90s kid over here. Jeez Louise.

Not, you're too, not, oh no. You're too young for Napster. Complete a thought. What are you, what? Sorry, Napster. You had Napster? It's like LimeWire. What the fuck is that?

what did you did you listen to music when you were a child no my uncle burnt them all into disc oh interesting yeah he probably used he probably used it yeah he probably it was it's basically like a place where you can download and torrent music from huh thief i would just i would pay the that was a thief i'm totally for the artist now you know this is when i was a kid you know first of all that was the only way because i wasn't like buying cds and then and then and now i'm totally you know i i'll i'll i'll pay for the things you know i'll pay for your music i respect your art don't forget to follow piggyboys like share subscribe keep crying keep crying comment down below um if you know what we're talking about

at any time ever just yes or no understand us Alright, guys.