Picky Boys Podcast - None Of My Friends Knbow This!!! - Picky Boys Podcast #221

Episode Date: April 10, 2022

In today's episode, Antonio and Danny discuss cracking toilets, moms collecting baby teeth, quitting before you're fired, and pulling a "Weekend at Bernie's" at the club! Leave a comment down below if your parents saved weird items or body parts from your childhood, and as always enjoy! Make sure to check out all of the guests on today's episode: Antonio - https://www.instagram.com/antprisco/ Danny - https://www.instagram.com/dannyiswatching/ Picky Boys Podcast - https://www.instagram.com/pickyboyspodcast/  

No, because I got a charley horse and I was just like, I don't know if I've ever told this story. Mom, my mom or dad, please stop watching. And I did that and it went into the ground. No, no, no, no, you don't ask to see. And anyway, welcome back to the picky boys podcast. Welcome back. What do you think of the fits?

Fist? What do you think of my fists? What do you think of my fists? Put them up, motherfucker. Oh, God, Danny's coming in fire. What do you think of our fits? Antonio's got the pedophile glasses on. Say what's up.

And I've got what the kids called the drip. You look way dumber than I do. I disagree with that. Except for this, though. Hey, yo. Except for that. That may be coming to a mailbox near you very soon. Look at this quality.

I know. Bumped it up. We bumped up the quality. I love the color. Oh, my God. I love the fit where it's really good. This is an HR problem now. I'm HR.

No, I'm HR for sure. All right. Hey, hey, hey. You're fired. What happens if the HR touches somebody? Who do you go to? There has to be an HRR. I don't think so.

I think you hire an outside counsel to do an independent investigation. Or you just don't have HR. No, you need an HR. All right. Because HR, you know, HR really has the toughest job because they not only do they deal with banging in the workplace. Yeah. They deal with, you know, sexual misconduct, any kind of, you know, office dispute. But they also have to fire people. Yeah. They fire everybody. It's like, Roger, Jim showed his dick for the third time. What are we going to do about it?

I heard of a story where somebody, I don't know who it was in relation to me, but somebody I know. It was my uncle. Somebody I know, he was asked to fire like 100 people in the company right before Christmas. He was asked to fire them, and he fired them all. First of all, could you do that? I don't know. I'd be really bad at firing people. That has to be an email.

It has to be an email. No, it can't be an email. It has to be an email. You can't break up. That's like breaking up over text. Do that, too. You can't fire over email. You got to put it in person.

I'm going to be honest. Because or else word spreads and people go crazy. I'll be honest. You can do all those things. And then they fired him. Damn. Damn. Damn, well, he got caught.

I know, I know. Imagine you fire 100 people, then your boss brings you into the office, and it's like, and you think he's saying like, you know, thanks for doing that. That was a really tough thing. And then he goes, shoes on the other foot.

You're fired. You live by the sword, you die by the sword. Or he just gets, the boss, you know what the boss should have done? He should have got the 100 people he fired. To fire him? To fire him 100 times. Yeah, he fired.

He fired, he fired. It's like, no, you have to sit here. What did this guy do to deserve this? No, yeah, getting laid off has to be one of the worst things ever. I've experienced other people getting laid off. I've never gotten laid off because I quit before it can happen. Yeah, Danny senses it's coming. He's like, I quit.

I quit. It's like, we were going to give you a – I quit. I quit. Sometimes, I mean, that's how I left my old job. I walked in one day, and my boss gave me the wrong look, and I just said, you know what? I'm gone. Don't even – don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, stop, stop. You can't do anything.

I'm gone. I'm out. I'm gone. And then I was denied my severance package. No, I wasn't fired or laid off. I did quit, but not because of a look. Because he kept jerking off in the bathroom. Well, you know, I mean, it was a big bathroom.

It was an HR problem. Yeah, I mean, it is an HR problem. Someone put a – have you ever seen a chair in a bathroom? Like for the guy that hands you the fancy soap? I saw – that's probably what it was for. But I saw a chair in the bathroom and I was just like, someone's begging, you're begging me to jerk off in this bathroom. Oh, because of a chair? Yeah, who puts a, what, what could you, what else could you do in a chair in a bathroom?

Sit? And do what? I don't know, that's a good question. Maybe you're tired, you're sitting, or you're trying to see how far the urinal is from the chair, see if you can reach your pee-pee in there. I could, because have you, have you ever, you know, on a toilet seat? on a toilet seat like on a on a no like you're sitting on you're sitting on the porcelain throne oh bro i'm a i'm a toilet jerker really that's my main source of income oh yeah you're a toilet joker i don't know if i've ever told this story if you're mom my mom or dad please stop watching

this you know every time we say that it makes them watch it more my mom's like every time you say that i i pump up the volume i was like you should stop doing that no okay here we go here we go one time i was on vacation uh-huh and it was a long vacation longer than the usual ones and so you because usually i'll just i'll just you know hold it i'm around my family i'm not gonna you know be indecent you know let it fly and so and so and so i i was i was you know practicing i was like 14 at the time oh so i i was i was you know real horned up you're getting into the rhythm of it yeah and uh so i was so it was long vacation so i said you know what i need to do it so i need to do it so you know my parents were out somewhere and i was and i was inside and

i was i was i was sitting on the toilet because there was no you know i didn't want to be i'm always very cautious i would never do it in the room because like god forbid what if one of them forgot their sunscreen and came up yeah like so at least the toilet provides extra layer of protection a door yeah i hear the footsteps i turn on the shower nothing's happening all right Good move. So I'm on the toilet. Which way? Facing the shelf or facing outward?

The shelf. You know, it's like if you turn around on the toilet, there's like a little shelf, the back of the toilet. Were you sitting on it? I'm not straddling. What? You straddle the toilet? How do you jerk off?

Like, so let's say you're taking a shit. This is the toilet. This is the toilet. I'm sitting on the toilet as if I was taking a shit. But then how do you jerk off? And I'm kind of doing one of these jobs. But then where does it go? Antonio, we've been over this.

it goes wherever it goes and you clean it up but then what's the point of jerking off on the toilet if you're not going to shoot it into the toilet it's easy cleaning I just explained it to you

because I don't like I don't like to splooge sitting standing up right but you're already there you're already on the toilet I don't like to do it standing up

so you're just you were just like so I'm doing like this you're just like this so I'm doing like this yeah okay and have you ever

any men out there and maybe ladies I'm not sure during a what's that during a climax your leg stiffs up I can't show it

your leg stiffs up it's almost like a charley horse and I did that and it went into the ground and it went into the ground and I was pushing back and the entire back shelf cracked the the entire boat like the the where the where the the the float is the entire back

reservoir of the toilet crap the porcelain shattered daddy's a violent mess no because i got a charlie horse and i was just like and it takes through the wall and the entire thing crack and now there's like so so obviously huge noise there's water everywhere and i was like oh my god dude i was i was freaking freaking out well first i finished something about the chaos it really got me going i was freaking out and i was like oh my god so i gather all the towels and i go down to the concierge and i'm like and i'm like uh i need i need as many towels as possible i need a mate i need as many towels as possible and and um well i didn't want to tell them yet because i didn't i i wasn't sure you know if if there was a charge was going to show up

or or a thing like that and so and and so i got the towels i cleaned it all up and then i i called my parents and i was like i i you will not believe what just happened to me i i just sat on the toilet and it cracked the entire thing the entire thing shattered and and i don't know what their response was like oh geez maybe he should you know start doing cross-country running or something maybe we should have put him on the soccer team seriously because because he literally cracked a toilet i'd much rather than think that but so so so that was my that was that was what i pitched them that i sat on the toilet and crack and i and i said and you know i'm a i'm like uh i'm a good i'm a good guy so i was i i'm good at like you know

improvisation clearly so i was like you know i did think i saw a crack earlier and uh i was i was wondering about it you know it's weird it must be a bad porcelain it must be from poor not Cheap porcelain And so you know They were like wow I can't believe that I hope we don't get charged And you know we didn't get charged The bathroom people came up

Marriott very nice Mormons Fantastic There's a book of Mormon in every Marriott hotel Either way But the Mormons notorious toilet fixers They came and they fixed the toilet And they went oh that's really strange Sorry that happened to you I'm glad no one got hurt

And you know I was like Yeah, I'm glad I didn't get hurt, buddy. Guy. Yeah, the fragile toilet. Even though a thousand kids died that day. Yeah. But that was my story. It's going to take me, honestly, it's going to take me a week to process that.

Yeah, like I said, I mean, it was all about, it's really a game of force. It is a lot of force. Because, you know, if your leg locks up and it's stuck against the ground, you know that was a that's a that's a violent orgasm for a 14 year old i was you know that's when you're going through it you know you're discovering who you are if you did that now you'd fucking break through the wall yeah i mean you know sorry guys but and and since that day i have never sat on the toilet any toilet i've never sat on a toilet i just hover i squat yeah I just hover.

Dude, squatting over a toilet when you have to take a shit might be the worst experience in the world. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking terrible. I mean, girls, they have to squat over to pee, but I feel like pee's a little less... Well, yeah, yeah. It's a little less egregious to have to... It still sucks, because we can stand in short lines, but when you have to take...

We all share the same problem of having to squat over a toilet to take a shit. That's a fact. We all have that same problem. Yeah. Sucks. Sucks. Wait, what? we all

I've never done that at a public toilet like if it's I'm going ass to seat I don't give a shit doesn't matter dude if also even if they have

those little like fucking tissue paper you know necklaces that you put around the thing the uniform

I don't like that because then it gets stuck to your ass and you have to punch the hole through you know so so what about a firefly

what about a music festival port-a-potting you have to take a shit ass to seat no you don't asked to see and then and then and then after i'm done wiping i i take a clean piece of toilet paper and i wipe my cheeks oh no man yeah no way yeah or take i will every well i'm not an amateur every music festival i go to i bring baby wipes so you know you just polish your ass oh dude that's

crazy to me i never i don't think i've ever done that well if anything like oh dude i'm not gonna I can't, again, I need, when I shit, I need ultimate concentration. To blast this thing? Yeah, and I can't be also squatting. Like, it's already a workout. I'm not going to add a wall squat to it. Dude, I'm like, I am disrespectful to other people's shit, public shit. yeah like if if the a hotel bathroom or a public bathroom i will use the whole roll of toilet paper

i'll i'll throw it's just disaster i'll throw i'll throw everything into the toilet first so there's no splash i'll wrap the seat like a mummy eight times and then then i'll do it i can't or i'll squat if i have to if it's one of those where those rumblies and i have to sit fine yeah but i'll never just raw dog a seat that's that's psychotic to me well you know i mean to me it's just like it's my ass it's not like i'm licking it and it's other people's asses you know it's not like like the the cheek of an ass in theory should be clean it's just a piece of skin you know it's like you know especially the further away you get from the the the center the cleaner the cheek and so you would think about the perimeter you know where you where

Where your actual ass touches is far away from the core. From the core. And so this is literally, it's just skin. It's just like any ass cheek should be clean. I'd kiss any ass cheek. Kiss anybody's ass cheek. I'd kiss anybody? Anybody has an ass cheek?

Obviously, again, it should be clean. If it's not, then we have some problems. Then I'll think about it. yeah you know it is what it is dude my dad once went into the bathroom doesn't doesn't he squats blasted the wall impossible blasted i don't believe that that that's a story your dad tells you and it's not true my dad told me he saw santa once i feel like one of those is a little more believable it was very believable when he told me it was he was very very good about it because because because obviously this was during the time i was questioning santa around 16 17 and

And he was like – he made it like a heart-to-heart. He was like, listen, I know there will be naysayers, but I want you to know that one day it was Christmas, and I was – my brother kicked me out of the room, and I was sleeping on the couch, and I saw him. And I'm not even lying. I'm not even bullshitting you. I saw him, and I went, I trust you.

And then that's the day Danny learned. No, I can't trust anybody. No, I mean, I learned the way everybody learns. This is probably, I don't know, 20, 25. Yeah, I was I was probably 20 at the time. And I found out I found an Easter basket in my mom's closet. And it's like it's like a domino, you know, once one. Right.

Once one, you know, strange imaginary burglar doesn't exist. They all don't. Then they all don't. You start thinking, oh, my God, the tooth fairy, the leprechauns, the elf on a shelf, and then the big one. You know, it's like. The big S. Santa. That doesn't exist.

Which one do you think is, you know, I picture when they're coming up with this stuff, they're all sitting at a table. okay santa guy that makes gifts elves easter bunny which one out of all them is the least believable where the people at the table at the at the board would be like okay what well it's gonna throw everything off one thing i think is funny is that if you replace santa is like a guy right if if if you replace um some of these other creatures with a guy they become significantly more creepy like a guy like imagine an old guy who goes around and uh takes children's teeth right that's when you don't think of it as like a it definitely has to see if you think of it as a guy who is collecting baby teeth yeah and giving them money for it it's very what is he doing with

them i don't know it's very good point collecting the calcium what's the what's the end goal why Also, why is the fairy, why does she need teeth? You don't know how many teeth she must have? A thousand. A thousand? A billion. I also picture the teeth every time he takes a step. Kind of like if your keys were on your jeans, they're in a jar and they rattle.

That would scare the shit out of me. I wanted to keep my baby teeth for some reason. Weird. I don't know why. So I would do every other one. Every other tooth that fell out, one I'd give to the tooth fairy. one i kept in a little um tic-tac box okay and same question to you now pal why am i what were you gonna do with the teeth i made it into a necklace so maybe that's what the tooth fairy

does it's just one of those things where it wants to collect she has an abundance of teeth i think she's i think she's she made a house out of teeth maybe that's it maybe she just gets off on teeth also baby teeth are so small so tiny yeah they are very tiny yeah well you think maybe i i definitely still have my baby teeth maybe i'll bring them in one day go and tell in the tic-tac box yeah that's disgusting why i don't know i feel like a lot of people's parents do that a lot of people's moms like oh this is the umbilical cord this is the hair this is the teeth these are the fingernails like what are you a witch what are you collecting yeah she's gonna she's gonna reincarnate you yeah anything bad she's gonna get the clay from the yard and mold it

and stick my appendages it's like what are you doing yeah people people i think people just like collecting especially especially in um especially when you're growing up especially back then um you know you don't have it wasn't like an iphone you know right nowadays every moment of every child's life is captured in from two different angles with a billion videos and 10 gigabytes worth of photos you know that's a lot back back then you used to you know maybe maybe your dad was an enthusiast and had like a you know a cassette tape or like one of those yeah like a videotaping and he did some like home movie type stuff but back then you know that's the only thing that you you have to hold on to these these things you know like always first first pair

of shoes and this you know this is his teeth yeah and his hair or i guess the markings on the door frame you know that kind of does it too yeah you know it's it's it's to preserve the memory of childhood yeah but you don't have to collect my teeth well that's debatable i guess it is debatable i don't know is anybody what's the weirdest thing your parents have collected from you well i mean as a child not you know like pension or something like they sued me um yeah but you know it is what it is i uh i i i don't think it's that weird i think it's weird i don't i don't think it's weird you know people are just trying to remember their kids oh okay that's it yeah i know i get it i get it i get it people and you know love will make you

do weird things like oh my god these are his tonsils you know it is you know what i'm right it is like what are you talking about that was in my body really weird to preserve your child's body parts yeah although i've always said this here we go again legless community oh my god they always get mad at me give them a break i've always oh fine the hands i've always said the handless the handless i've always said if if i lost an appendage or an eye or uh a toe i would say keeping it i'm keeping that and i don't think you're allowed to but why watch me why can't i keep it it's my fucking toe i know exactly right this is my this is my body part i don't give a shit if it's biohazard waste i want it i don't care if it'll make a hundred people sick when it

smells i'm good no i'm i'll put it in the jar no i'll pay one of those fucking resin bitches on etsy to go to the to you know put it in a pyramid with flowers and yeah i'll ship them my toe with ice yeah and they'll ship it back in a resin pyramid yeah easy peasy this is this is i i think you're this maybe i should run for office i think you're entitled i don't know about that I think you're entitled to any body part you lose should be yours. I would get behind that. I'd back that bill. It makes most sense.

I know. Oh, I accidentally cut my hand off and it fell into a construction site. Oh, now it's this loser's property? No, it's my fucking hand. Yeah, exactly. That's crazy. That's absolutely crazy. I want my hand around my neck if I want it.

True. Oh, dude, I saw a video. Not a video, but... No, it was a video, but I didn't see the action. this guy got bit by a 135 pound anaconda wow and then that's like nightmare fuel again this is another situation 135 pound anaconda comes to me i'm just bashing my head into a rock i'm not grabbing a rock and hitting the snake i'm bashing my own head i'm trying to i'm trying to to just lose consciousness hopefully while the snake's

wrapping around your torso yeah no i can't i i can't be i can't be alive or any i pray for a quick death or you just take the snake says like no buddy i'll help you out you just put it on your neck no so this guy was also 135 pounds and luckily oh and luckily it was a defensive strike or something he said so the snake bit and then got off and then he grabbed her and killed it oh and then he cut off its head and freeze dried it now he just has it that's fucking awesome that's pretty dope the featherweight battle of the century yeah dude i'd like to see put put that in the fucking gladiator stadium yeah dude and they just free he chopped it off and freeze drove freeze drove that's not right freeze freeze fried freeze fried freeze fried flame fried his head and now he just

has it fucking that's that's cool that's like like i said if trophy hunting is a very small dick activity but if you're being attacked by that animal and then kill and then you kill it fuck yeah if you have a battle wound that is cool as fuck yeah if a if i have a tiger slash across my chest and then the tiger's head is on my mantle i deserve that but you know if if you're going you know into the into the serengeti in like a g-wagon and you're like from a hundred yards away some guys like like you know lines up the shot for you and then you're just like that's lame yeah come on grow some balls grow some balls and leave leave the elephants alone but i'm talking to you owner of jimmy john's the owner of gino jimmy john's freaky fast subway sandwich some would subway

like sandwiches how can i not know do you know there's no you actually wouldn't know because there's no jimmy john's in new york city really i don't know that's that's what i'm saying oh well jimmy john's is a fantastic it's a fantastic like sub sandwich place and their whole no no uh all cold sandwiches and their whole thing is freaky fast so you'll order it and by the time your debit card is done processing they'll give it to you danny what does it have to do with the I don't care about the place. But the owner is a weird guy, and there's many pictures of him. There's one with him with a shark carcass, and he's naked for some reason.

No, truly. He's in the shark. And he's like a trophy hunter. And like I said, that's a very small dick activity. Yeah, Jimmy J. But the California club is a pretty good sandwich. And it's fast delivery. Oh, I mean, he's freaky fast.

Probably like him in bed. Oh, okay. There's a lot of assumptions made about this man. Well, he's a loser. I mean, you know. But great sandwiches. No, it's grotesque what he does. Look at this.

Can I put it up? Is it that bad? Can I show them? What was that? What the hell was that? There it is. Whoa. A little OnlyFans action.

Jesus. Oh, my God. Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's shark. That's all you need to know. Oh, my God. i wasn't lying it's a picture of him i'll reenact it no yeah don't reenact it it's a picture of him with a shark he caught he's straddling i think i can put it up if i blur his ass cheeks he's

he's straddling it it's fucking gross ew also like tan your ass cheeks dude yeah that's him oh jimmy john isn't the naked guy in that shark picture oh okay sorry sorry i i i slandered a man's name i'm so sorry that was a five minute rant about the student and all you had to do was google it no no let me see jimmy john's trophy hunting let's see he could still be a bad guy you know just because that's not him in that one picture oh yeah look at this that is not jimmy john in the picture of the elephant no no no jimmy john ceo i definitely can't elephant hunting that's disgusting i definitely can't put this picture up that's that's too bad yeah yeah okay so all right fine he didn't lay naked with a shark oh my oh geez you know what you know will

you please yeah now he's holding a leopard yeah that's not great that's a leopard right or cheetah a cheetah i believe um no yeah so he's still an asshole yeah i can't put that picture up yeah maybe i'll put the shark up just for reference it's just a guy with ass cheeks straddling a Uh, see, a lot of people think it is him. It does look like him. It's very, it's suspiciously close. Oh, this just took me to a Jimmy John's post. Either way.

Oh, speaking of dead bodies, did you see the rapper that was... Dude, I posted that. That was essentially, like, stuffed and put in front of the club. It's been big hype all over the internet, people giving their takes. What do you think? I posted that to my story, and I said it was—this is what I said. I said, everybody says this is what they want. You know, I've heard many people say—

I think I've said it on the show. Exactly. I've heard many people say, like, if I die, just put me in the middle of a room and let's have a party. Yeah. Seeing that, seeing it actually happen, never do that to me. It—never do it. It was the scariest thing. Dude, it was so creepy.

It was just this guy, vertical, dead, in the middle of a room, in a club, with everyone dancing, and it was just—dude, I hated it. Yeah. I hated it. It is a bit macabre. Yeah. You know, and it's, it definitely sounds better in your head than what it actually is. I get it. You know, you want to have a party, celebrate my, don't celebrate my death, but celebrate

for me or whatever. I still want to do it, but because of, because of what I've seen, the implementation of it, I agree. It didn't, it didn't translate well. It's one of those like good on paper ideas. so now I've switched it up a little bit I think I'm going to be cremated and I'm going to be put in

a very cool ornate vase and then you can throw that around at the club at the club what if it opens what if somebody thinks it's a bottle of tequila or like a bag of

you know how if you just launch a bag of sugar it goes poof actually that would be my final goof is i'd have an exact replica that's made that's very fragile made and i'd put a bunch of fun dip inside and um and i'd pay someone probably you'd be my confidant i have to eat it just to say no we don't eat it oh that'd be that'd be cool yeah you said no but but i but i'd pay you to say like this is you know you give a eulogy of some kind you say like oh these this is all the things i loved about him he was smart funny outgoing the the light of any room and and then you and then

you drop it and then go all over the ground i have to be the i have to be the i have to give the eulogy cope with your death and be the bad guy in front of everyone's eyes that's what you're asking me to do yeah and then and then and then sal from the impractical jokers comes out and goes we got you and he has the real urn and then he drops and then joe comes out no no i know but he uh he uh no but but that's what i want i do want to because because because i do like the idea like i like the guys the core idea is good don't go to a stuffy funeral parlor and you know be sad for 10 minutes and then you know catch up with people you haven't seen and then you say oh i wish we met under better circumstances you know and you know don't don't do that go go go to go

have fun you know go to go to a dive bar dude go to a go to an axe throwing place that's fun and He put Danny in the middle so you could hit him. Yeah, so that's, I agree with the core concept, but I'm switching it into a crematorium style. How do all funeral homes smell the same? Do they buy, like, the funeral scent? Yeah, I think it's... They all smell the same.

I think it's the... Embalming thing? Mm-hmm. Jesus, that's a pungent smell. Finasteride? Yeah, the fentanyl? No, no. I've been playing some games.

They're not incredibly exciting games, but i was thinking about live streaming some of those okay like what um like a city builder okay like i like i like to build little towns and a lot of be fun um kind of like my egg peeling stream right you know it's like a more of a chill vibe than like a like we're we're streaming for the best cod record right right like you know i kind of want to build a city with anybody who wants to watch and you know we can we can you know make can make us make a city we will make make little you know monuments and we can to danny and we can put things together and we can you know name the city and you know we can once you make it can you then like tsunami yeah yeah you can

you can you can collapse the sewer systems and and people just shitting in the streets you can gentrify it there's a lot of things you can do okay so why not so yeah maybe i'll do one of those let us know in the comments tell us I know tell them where to find you Danny let's get out of here you can find me at Danny is watching

on Instagram you can find me oh oh oh by the way Danny movie recommendation everything everywhere all at once fantastic movie

one of the best movies I've seen all year go watch it go watch it you can find me it's about a bagel that's all I'm gonna say you can find me at

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