Picky Boys Podcast - The Best Way To Prevent A Shark Attack! - Picky Boys Podcast #383

Episode Date: July 13, 2025

Join the Patreon and unlock 700+ posts instantly! - https://www.patreon.com/pickyboys\ On today's podcast, Antonio, JT, and Danny discuss 1 big gift vs. 8 tiny gifts, why Danny is boycotting Google Maps, how to make a compass with a leaf, getting paid to NOT break laws, giving up the beach forever, and how to fight a shark! Shop Our Summer Merch - https://pickyboys-shop.fourthwall.com/ NEW STUFF IN DANNY'S LAB! 🤫 - https://extrapicky.com/ Follow us on Twitch! - https://www.twitch.tv/thepickyboys Make sure to check out all of the people on today's episode: JT - https://www.instagram.com/thejballs/ Antonio - https://www.instagram.com/antprisco/ Danny - https://www.instagram.com/dannyiswatching/ Send us mail here! Picky Boys Podcast PO Box 740050 9224 Queens Blvd Rego Park, NY 11374 Picky Boys - https://www.instagram.com/thepickyboys/  

all right ready yes sir welcome back to the picky boys podcast back back back again tonio's back back backed it up that did you did did you watch the podcast that we did without you i don't watch things i'm not on okay no i'm kidding i watched i watched a bit i watched a bit how how did it feel to be a watcher of a pot of the picky boys podcast and you you weren't even a part of it well i was a part of it i saw you guys had someone in my uh seat in my homestead that's true but it's just you know this is the first time being like a fan it's true well i'm always a fan but like you know what i mean but you're right it was that was that the first podcast i wasn't i was not on wow i felt honestly it felt nice that the team back at home

could handle it i heard there were some hiccups that jason fixed oh baloney it all went well but i it did go well and i thought i thought you all did good and some good would you rathers in that episode there was some good would you rathers some bad answers some some bad addicted to heroin Double down on that one I saw a lot of comments on that I'm glad we're bringing that back All the comments agreed with us With you guys?

Yeah Alright, it happens There were a lot of comments that agreed with them I was surprised But I think you guys did well It's nice to be back Yes The vacation was alright

It was just too much family Like it's just On these kind of trips It's like my close family My extended family Another family It's just too much It was harder to relax

Big Italian getaway Yeah, it was too much but I got a Disney trip coming up in like probably three days so I'll see I'll get out of here you guys have another shot

this guy says I go on lots of vacations you guys have another shot he goes on lots of vacations no that's not for a while we call him Tony 2 vacations Tony 2 vacations I take two vacations a year

Danny's gone every other weekend I take one vacation a year one long vacation and then a few weekends here and there I take one long vacation and then every other weekend

I'm gone one week long vacation that's it that's a ski vacation that's it ski vacation oh I thought you said something else

ski-cation ski-cation got it news you know what this year I'm gonna take two vacations I'm gonna do two

I'm going with JT away for your birthday he takes two vacations he takes every year JT goes away from my birthday my family has a timeshare and it lands on Antonio's birthday

I can't enjoy my own birthday it's an unfortunate reality I just realized when does this come out this is about to be JT's birthday I know

when does this come out this comes out the 13th no so yeah oh this comes out the 13th oh on the Patreon one we're filming the Patreon one I better have my goddamn gift. That's true.

I better have my gift. I don't think it's coming in time. This guy, it never comes in time. Well, actually, one of them shipped. One of them? Oh, yeah. I got you two things. I got two things?

Yeah. How many did you get him? One. Loser. It's a big thing. I don't need a bunch of things. For those that don't know, they kept forgetting my birthday. So when we exchange gifts now, we have to give each other gifts on our own birthdays

because you don't forget your own birthday. Yeah. I also, I got you two things because you might lose one of them, but that's for another time. Speaking of that. You don't necessarily get to keep one. Speaking of that, I think I know what you're referencing. We have the card-a-thon coming up, everybody. That's our news.

Our second annual, is that right? Second annual card-a-thon, which is a Mario Kart exclusive sub-a-thon starting June 20th. Fuck, I keep saying June. When's the first time you said it? I mean, when's the second time you said it? I said it five times on the stream last night. starting starting starting july 24th five times on the stream last night when there was 500 new people watching yes i kept saying i kept saying june and everybody would have kept i don't know

it's june has passed june has passed we're in july we know that starting july 24th which from the day you're watching this is like 10 11 days away yes 11 days it's it's we're gonna we're debating either june or the end of august and it's just august a little packed full no we're I'm debating July or the end of August. Shit, why'd you say June? See, that's what I'm saying. But why did you say it? I don't know.

You corrupted me. It doesn't feel like it's July. It feels like it's the beginning of summer. No, it's because you said June, and now I'm thinking of June, and now I'm thinking of like, now I'm thinking of Paul McCartney. Hey, Jude. July 24th, twitch.tv slash the picky boys, second annual Cardio-Thon. It's going to be a blast.

Be there or be square. It's one of our biggest sub-athons every year. Yeah. we got and i'm gonna beat their asses again i'm holding the trophy right now we'll see about that me versus danny versus chas for sure we're gonna have a little different system but i'm gonna win i'm gonna win and i'm gonna take home that prize baby by the way in general why don't you say it like you were talking about in general you were talking about the birthday these guys are making fun of my speech is that a protected class what do you mean you were talking

about the gifts i always used to think this in reference to hanukkah versus christmas would you rather get one big cool gift or eight tinier gifts were you jealous of the jewish kids growing up yeah because the eight eight days of gifts yeah i feel like you would want eight days of gifts yeah honestly it's not the thought that counts it kind of is but like just getting a gift even if it isn't the big big gift is really fun so doing that eight times is super fun i it depends what the gifts are you know if i'm getting like sock and then a belt yeah i mean those are like i wouldn't even call those gifts those are stocking stuffers i don't know if jewish people do stockings i'm gonna bring a belt and a stocking and you get that belt in there into a stocking how big

are stockings nowadays pretty big a belt definitely fit you could definitely fit a belt first of all you roll up a belt it's like this big he's right you probably can either way I like the one

one gift I like the one gift like one big gift I like one big gift it's nicer alright wait one it's one big

is what we're saying yeah one big or eight little versus eight little gifts they're the same give me the variety yeah they're the same like monetary value

let's say yeah give me the variety so if it's let's say the big gift I'm not doing math if the big gift is $800 each gift

is $100 just make it easy thank you thank you for making no you're right you're right that's how danny does math it's like how do i make it the easiest i possibly just make it the you know 10 uh 800 it's kind of cool though no it is really cool yeah but one 800 gift's cool too no it's really cool and you definitely get more of a wow factor but i don't know i like what's even like i'm wondering what's like an 800 gift i would have wanted as a kid like a like a console like the console and games yeah right a console and games

I could get there I could get there real quick yeah yeah cause I guess a console and probably like five games would be that right

that being said yeah it's not like Christmas you only get one gift for the most part anyway yeah but there's still one main gift

there is the main gift and then there's the gift you open up before what it's July what are we doing Christmas in July Christmas in July Christmas in July

I have uh officially sworn off Google Maps oh yeah I hate it I actually hate it what a dude yeah I mean

this is this is the first of all the instructions are becoming more and more unclear if you're on a highway that has two off ramps it's like impossible to tell which way to go and this happened three times now three strikes you're out i made a wrong turn on the directions and the new route got me there faster than the original route which begs the question why aren't you telling me to go that way like that's its job how can the wrong turn make me go faster i like i like how it's it's it's sending you one way and then you mess up it's like all right fine all right fine you got all right you discovered our shortcut i see you got me so fuck google maps oh i'm an apple maps

man now oh god i know i know it's it's it's not it's not exactly i'm not exactly thrilled about it but i i i can't do it apple maps do it apple maps is so bad comparatively i will say you can say the highway i like the highway thing i'm talking about much easier in apple maps it will tell you exactly which way to go i have a question on google maps it gives you a time you make a wrong turn what's the longest time it is added because i have an answer and it made me want to punch the 45 minutes holy wow yeah dude and it was on a highway and the next exit was you know maybe 18 miles away just 18 miles back and forth and so you know what you do in that situation yeah the little the little thing that the cops use hey look i'm a cop today yeah

you really really yeah you put the little siren on top of your car you have to you have to i when it's a turn that important i feel like there should be flashing lights like we're at the club on on google maps like don't miss this one i've seen you miss a couple don't miss this one or we'll add this time bro i same about same thing and it's always when you're about to like you're on the final stretch of going home and it added like 37 minutes and i went i i rather have just crashed the car i've only gotten like 20 but it's always it's been the same thing you miss an exit on the highway and then you have to go back and go back the other way on the highway a lot of times where well sometimes when i was going in a different direction and like there was a blockage

or an ambulance or a garbage truck and i tried to just keep going until it changed direction and And for, like, 15 minutes, it just kept telling me to go back in that one way. And I was like, I'm screwed. But, yeah. That was my gripe. Sorry. I'm swearing them off. And I've been a Google fanboy for a very long time.

You're going to go back. I always like their UI. It's very nice. It's very, like, I don't know. You're going to go back. Apple's going to let you down. Yeah, Apple's going to do the same thing. Apple's going to let you down.

It's so much worse. It's pretty good. It's those highway off ramps. I'm telling you. It's like, get off at exit 36. but at exit 36 there is a another fork it's north and a south now on google it's telling you to get off at the 36 but now you don't know which way to go i don't believe him a little bit oh you should believe me i don't believe a little bit me also i've been getting like google map ads sometimes

i'll be driving and then you'll see a little like oh this is where fucking you know johnny's smoke joint is and it's like it's a sponsored little blip huh so like a store pays for it to be on your map digital real estate it's digital real estate i hate i hate that that's going to make someone a lot of money and i had the idea they're monetizing the gps system i guess so you look like a ways guy use ways fuck no yeah my family does that i would love to your family uses ways that might single-handedly be the worst app on the face of the planet well no so i'll tell you why it started off being the best because they were the first to incorporate like the yeah yeah the the other ways users and like averaging out their times and then google bought that technology and

I think Apple definitely incorporated it, too. But when that first came out, Waze was the only one that was really incorporating, like, traffic and stuff. And you could also report a cop on the side of the highway. Those are huge. Google could do all that now. But the thing that I hated about Waze at the time, I don't know if it's still like that because it happened once and I'll never do it. It would make you do, all right, make a right, then a left, then jump over that rock, and then make a right, another left, go under the bridge, over the mountain, and then you save one minute. It used to give me these weird, snaky paths.

I see what you're saying. Hated it. Yeah, that's fair. Listen, we are talking from a point of privilege in the first place, because our parents, before or after maps, had map quests where they just printed out the instructions. I thought he was going to say, because we have cars or something. Not that we're in the future.

Imagine a map quest, you have a printed sheet of instructions. First of all, you have to read while driving. and now also if you miss a turn it's all over it's just all over yeah because when google tells me that it just added 45 minutes to my trip you know i'm like shit but if i had to slowly read and realize that i just added 45 minutes to my trip and there's no way out it's a different kind of different kind of upsetness i just know antonio can't read a map don't do this i just know for a fact he can't read let me say that i just think you just not Do I have a compass?

Sure. You'd need a compass. You can't read a map without a compass. Yeah. I mean, I think you can. You can a little bit. I'm saying if I'm like in the woods, you need a compass. Well, there's no map for a woods.

Oh, is it a treasure map? What are you talking about? We're talking about like a map of like, you know, state, like an area. Yeah, highways and streets. What do you mean I can't read a map? First of all, you don't need a compass. You just said you need a compass. You don't need a compass to read a map.

Well, I thought I was in the woods. I need to know which way. What is a map of the woods? No, it's not of the woods, you dumbass. It's like... Ten paces east. It's a big map, and in the section there's woods, and I'm in that. I guess there's a trail map.

There are trail maps. That's not what I'm talking about even, but yes. That you might need a compass for. You would definitely need a compass. I'm not talking about trails either. I'm talking about I'm in the woods. I'm in the woods, and I have a map, and the map's kind of... There is no...

It's not a woods map. You're not listening. Then what is the map for? It's a big map. Let's say it's just a map of the state. The whole thing. And there's a tree section I'm in there

I'm in there I need the compass Well yes That's what I'm saying I would say that Yes you do need a compass Sun rises in the east Sets in the west

Oh you can look at the moss Jason Is that true? Yeah Okay Wasn't sure if you flipped it around Right Rises in the east

Sets in the west Sets in the west Yeah that's true That's true Yeah because Denarius in Game of Thrones Minecraft Would flip it

That's how I know that There's also a moss thing That's not true Well Yeah I think that's debunked That's, like, I think, like, 10% true. Not enough true. Yeah, it's not enough true.

Not enough true. Moss can grow anywhere. Yeah, not enough true. There's stuff that's saying, well, if it rises, because it does rise slightly to the north or the south or whatever, and it's like the north side does get less sunlight overall, so it might be more mossier or something like that. 10% is not enough to risk my life on, I'm going to be honest. No. That's fair.

I'm going to put you in the woods with a compass and a map. Good luck. And then I'm also going to break the compass. That's a new feature on the video. You said I didn't need it anyway. We do that. You can make a compass. You know that?

Out of like, I swear, this is the most insane part of nature, but you can like take a leaf, take a little cup or whatever of water, put like a pin on it, and you might have to like charge the pin by rubbing it on your head. And then somehow fire is involved and you can make a compass. Look this up, Jason. You're not allowed to say, and there's another step. There it is. Magic.

Look up nature compass. The way JT says compass. Yeah, it's compass. It's just compass. Is it not compass? I used to say compass, and my chat roasted me for it. It's not compass? What is this?

This looks like Hunter Hunter when they're testing their Nen. Maybe there's not fire involved. I don't remember. A cork. Oh, you need a magnet, bro. You need a magnet and a pin. Where's that in nature? Where do you just get a magnet?

The magnet makes sense. Wait, you need a magnet? Look up no magnet and then see if it... No magnet. Where am I getting a bowl? I'm in nature, JT. I think all of them are magnets. Damn.

But it's a magnetic field. You need a magnet. Well, I thought maybe what I said before about rubbing on your head, does that magnetize it? You do have to magnetize the needle. Yeah, that's what he's trying to say. But where do I get the needle? Oh, here we go. This doesn't look right.

This doesn't look real. No, I've seen this before. The pin on the leaf. gather a log. Does it say Magnum anywhere? Magnum? Is this Minecraft? This is Minecraft.

Guess that's enough. It's the AI overview. This is Minecraft. It said gather saplings and logs. Open a crafting table. Minecraft. Should have noticed that the redstone dust. You idiot.

Well. Well. That's that. I don't think anyone's making a compass in nature then. That's just a pin on a leaf. No, I've seen that. This is a compass. You got something for us, Jason?

Yeah, I do. That's my favorite time of the day, the Jason question. Oh, it's a question? Beep, beep, boop, boop. He's a toddler. I did see a very funny poopoo one, but I didn't save it. Because I knew I'd get yelled at and ridiculed. There's too many of those recently.

Too many. All paths lead to poopoo. I saw that comment, too, on the ones you guys did. It's like, another poopoo, beep, beep. I was like, I don't know what happened. Who did that? I don't know. It might have been a comment on an old one.

All right. Time out. Time out, Jason. Hold on. I have a furious gulp. That was, I wonder if you can pick that up genuinely. Can you bump his mic? I have a big gulp.

I want to say this too. Danny came downstairs and his water was filled to the absolute brim. And then he. What? Can you do that again? He gulped into the mic. Can you do that again? Don't touch the mic with your neck.

Oh my God. That boy got a throat. Let me tell you. I got a big gulp. I got a big gulp. 7-Eleven named it after me. So Danny filled his water to the absolute brim. I bumped the table and water spilled on it, and he blamed me for moving the table.

It was like a half an inch below the brim. It couldn't have been higher. Do you want me to fill up a cup halfway? First of all, I hate when people do that. You ever at a restaurant and someone fills your water cup up like halfway? Fill the entire cup up. That's what the cup is there for. Fill the cup up.

I'd say 75%. I was just about to say. I'd say for a cup like that, 75%. You want me to fill it to here? Yes, very appropriate. That is crazy. Very appropriate. You want me to fill this cup to here?

And Danny said, don't. I fill it to there. Danny said, don't you all fill it to the brim? None of us. Now, if you had a carafe, maybe, or something with a curve where it's harder for the water to escape, that you can go 90, I'd say. Listen, I'm getting the most liquid in my cup as possible. It was all over the table.

Filleth thy cup. Yeah, you actually lost the liquid. Yeah, you lost the liquid. That's fair. but again I didn't lose it I didn't lose more than I would have lost

if I only filled up 75% of the way you got down to 75 no I did not I saw it it was right it's just a nap simple napkins worth of

no that's bounty that holds four times not sponsored by bounty yeah right sorry Jason continue alright this is a long question

I think oh does it start with weary traveler no okay alright so you get a thousand dollars a day

but every crime no matter how small will never go unnoticed by respective authorities so you get a thousand dollars but if you go 37 and 35 zone you immediately get pulled over anytime you break the law immediately jaywalking yes you get ticketed but you get a thousand dollars a day thousand dollars a day yes so what we got to figure out is how many like micro crimes do we actually commit every day i feel like we commit so many probably it's probably so many micro crimes can you can you google what are crimes that people commit every day.

That's a weird thing to type. Like nonsense crimes that people commit any day. You know what I'm saying? Like the jaywalk. What's a jaywalk? Put up things you didn't know were illegal.

Crimes, yes. Things you didn't know were illegal in New York. But is it going to be like these dumb, crazy laws? Like you can't tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. Yeah, it might be that too.

It's a hard search, kind of. Yeah, it's all bizarre laws. Slipper curfew. What the fuck? Flirting can result in a $25 fine. Attention all slipper wearers. Danny's in trouble.

After 10 p.m., slippers are a no-go in public establishments. That's not true. This can't be true. JT would be cooked. Well, define slipper. I got Crocs on right now. That's true. Going topless in public, yeah.

No slurping allowed. A Crocs. Ice cream in pockets. Ice cream in pockets? That might be tough for Danny. That might be a hard one for Danny to... Or cannolis. What do those fall under?

I'm saying, if he does cannolis, donkey's in the bathtub. Yeah, this isn't throwing balls at head. Hey, that's true. We knew that. Look at that. That is true. all right well i'd be fine on all these but there's probably so many things that you do i don't think a thousand dollars worth it a day i think i think it is

because again if i if i do get fined for speeding 37 what's a 30 what's a two mile per hour over ticket what is that 50 bucks every time you think so for two miles per hour i know it is i know it is all right i'm fine with i made a thousand dollars a day now it's 9 50 i'm fine with that Yeah, but it's every time you do it. I mean, driving is just a no-go. I don't want to drive anymore. It's every time you do it. Driving's definitely not a no-go.

You can't really go through a red. Man, I mean, following the speed limit exactly would be an arduous task. Like, you can't roll through stop signs. I think all these things are worth $1,000 a day. Long trips, I agree. Those are going to be painful. I think as soon as you get in that car, you're probably losing a couple hundred bucks. It's every time you go over the speed limit.

I'm okay with just driving like a granny. I think you're supposed to like – I have the self-control to be able to do that. You're supposed to put your blinker on when you're leaving a parking spot, right? First of all, definitely I do that every time. You're supposed to use your blinker. Are you insane, Jason? This is not a crazy thing.

You don't just go. Oh, I just – I don't even look at the side mirror. This can't be right. Well, you have a death wish. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, I definitely – especially if I'm not in a busy area, I don't use my blinker if I'm leaving a parking spot. But I use my blinker every turn. I do.

If there's no one in 100 miles, I use my linker every time. I don't. Goody two-shoes over here. I can get a car that can help me with this, though. Is there not an electronic car of some kind that knows the speed zones of where you are and just limits your thing to that? If you do self-driving, those will not go over the speed limit. I think Teslas or whatever else has self-driving these days,

they won't go over the speed limit. You can do those. See, that could be good. That could be good. And $1,000 a day, what do you got to save for, I don't know, 60 days? You could get a Tesla or something? Some kind of self-driving thing? True.

I don't know. This is worth it. I think this is worth it to me. Also. I feel like the jaywalking is so worth it. Jaywalking is going to be tough. Also, if you travel to a place with different laws, those laws apply. Right.

That makes sense. Other places have weird laws. the example here is uh yeah if you kiss somebody of the same sex in a country where it's a little now i can't travel anywhere i didn't know you kiss everybody you know i don't know i think um also you know like being a house owner would be a nightmare there's all kinds of dumb ass laws that people don't follow that you should follow like what all kind of like garbage laws and like uh zoning laws or which... I don't know.

I'm not ratting myself out. I'm not answering that question. I'm not answering that question. But I can't take this deal. There's all kinds of things that you should, I think, do that some people don't. Wait, like what? The garbage thing makes sense. You put it out before 8pm, you're getting a ticket, right?

Or even just not separating your garbage properly, cycling properly, not composting in New York City. That's true. That's all true. You can't do it. If it's this magical police force that appears like fairy godparents, you can't do it. You're going to have to get a real good tax accountant to make sure everything is explicitly done correctly. That'd be tough.

Yeah. I think I'm going to do it. I don't think I'd rack up $1,000 worth of funds. You can't go into half the countries with your tattoos. I don't travel, so I'm good. That's true. I'm not. I can't.

I'm not doing it. Bump it up to $10. Bump it up to $10. I mean, that's crazy. I mean, I'm doing it. For you, I don't think that would fix anything. It wouldn't fix a single thing, no. Oh, I mean, relax.

But no, it would not. I'm fine with this. Also, can I like, every garbage day, I'm just going to get a $50 fine, right? I'm fine with that. No, but they increase exponentially. Do they, the garbage ones? That's what they say. And essentially, even if you're perfect, I don't think you can do it, really.

Don't you have to also, every can you throw out, you have to rinse out until it's squeaky clean? I don't know. Recycling's hard to do. I've heard they recommend that so that animals don't try to get in and stuff, but I don't know if that's the law. I'm not no lawyer. There's definitely a law that's a sneaky law that you'd break in every day. Yeah, and I feel like these things compound.

I mean, like, if you got sent to court or a ticket for jaywalking 100 times, I feel like eventually they're going to be like, stop doing this. We're going to put you in jail for it. Yeah, you might. You might eventually. Look up maximum imprisonment jaywalking. Well, it's not that. I think it's multiple offense you've got to type in, too.

Isn't there a state that used to be like three strikes, you're out state? But that's probably only felony crimes. I think it should be. First of all, if you get caught at the max amount of times you can for jaywalking, I think you should go to prison. I think jaywalking is not illegal anymore in New York. It's an imprisonment. Oh, that's California.

That's California. But let's say you're tossing a ball around and it goes in someone's yard. You can't even go get it because it's trespassing. Yeah, you can't. It's no longer a punishable offense. Okay. Oh, well, look at that. Look at that.

All right. Oh, previously, Jaywalkers' face finds up to 250. That's crazy. I don't know, JT. That's tough. But it's not. Back then. Back then.

I'm saying it would have been tough back then. And that also just... Even if the light is red and you're not crossing in the crosswalk, that's Jaywalkers. Yeah. Yeah, but if you get... You can't cross in the middle of the thing. If the light's at least red and you get caught for that, it's just... But again, this is the nitpicking that's happening because of this question.

You're right. I'm talking about without this magical fairy police force. Oh, I mean, no one's going to. That would be crazy if they stopped you for that. Oh, man, they would. Someone will have a bad day. Yeah. I feel like I'd probably commit a crime every day.

Yeah. Probably. I think you do. In some capacity. I think you do commit a crime. If you drive, you definitely do. Yeah. I don't know.

I'm going to say no. I'm going to also say no. I'm going to say yes. I mean, I'm donating, yeah. Fine driving 25. I'm not fine with that I'll do 20 be safe

you go 10 over the speed limit right no that's what you can get away with it's not about that anymore it's not about what you can get away with you can go dude you can't even go 25

because you'll accidentally hit 26 for a second right I'm going 20 well what about like the fake crimes like what about like crimes that police can use to arrest you

like you know intoxicated in public so now I can't walk home from a bar anymore hmm like that is technically a crime usually

if you don't do anything like you know that defensive to anybody nobody will call you on that crime but it is a crime nonetheless the second you step foot out the second you step foot outside the bar just it appears i don't know that's such a bullshit law yeah i don't know i don't know i don't i think i think you're underestimating how much money is going to be flying out what's a public intoxication uh punishment but i think you got to be really publicly toxed yeah but that's what that's what it's used for right now but technically you are doing that if you leave a bar drunk i'll go i'll go uh i'll go live in uh nola you have drinks in public there right

oh it's not illegal in new york state what dude this is amazing oh no this is drinking alcohol no this is an open container no no it says public intoxication is not illegal in new york state perfect guys this is getting better every time we look something up that's true that's true danny just wants to walk home drunk from the bars exception block parties feast and oh that's for the open container thing so a block party i could just get a group of houses together and go hey we're gonna break the law this day sick you need a permit you do need a permit yeah do you yes well because you're blocking a street like someone parks their car in front of the street you can't just block a street with no permit how annoying is it to get a block party permit i think it's

pretty easy i think you just need a certain uh percentage of the blocks like participation like people have to say yes forge the signatures how would they know okay well then that would be a crime wait are we still in this scenario well no we're not in this scenario anymore no we're not in this scenario anymore there'd be some there'd be confusion when all your neighbors go like i didn't and nobody's party except for us with a table in the middle of the blocks like oh you didn't know about the block party we just blew up a couple balloons it can't be that hard martin doesn't this is i'm not martin doesn't organize it there's like a there's like a fire chief or something martin does not organize it i'm no lawyer but this seems like a interesting

wording of this law open container possessing an open container of alcohol with the intent to drink it in public is prohibited so i can have my open beer but i i intend to drink it when i get home lawyer danny ladies and gentlemen i mean that's how that's how i interpret that you think i'm gonna drink this i would never drink this outside in public i just it was already open i had to take it i had to take it i opened it by accident i mean i don't know that could that could refer to that maybe because like if you went outside to pour it out maybe that would cover you right or that they might be also talking about like if you had a container of ethanol like Because someone got hurt and you're doing a first aid thing.

Oh, I just saw this. In this situation, you can't go to the beach, basically. Every time you go to the beach, you're breaking a billion laws. Wait, what? You can't drink on a beach. Just don't drink on the beach. Why are we going to the beach? First of all, what's the other 999 million laws?

There's one law you're talking about breaking. All you have to do is not be drunk. Well, I mean, but who wants to go to a beach without drinking on a beach? Why is one law the same as a hundred million laws? I don't know. I don't know. You can also, if there's a local bar, drink there, then go to the beach. But there's something about drinking on the beach that's nice.

I agree. I mean. It is nice. A thousand dollars a day, man. I don't know what to tell you. It's your decision. How much was the last time you went to a beach and drank a lot? I'll take a thousand dollars a day to never go to a beach again.

I would take that. I would take that too, yeah. see this is a good question that's 360 000 a year to never go to 365 and 366 on a leap year to never to never go to a beach again what counts as a beach what do you think buddy a place with a shoreline that you sit on you know i'm not doing that i'm doing it i'm not doing it i can forego the beach so as soon as i touch the sand i lose yeah you die actually It's like, you can't fuck this up. There's no more, I don't want to do this anymore.

I can't do that. I can't. I don't want to do that. I'm doing it. I'm trying to think here. I'm doing it. JT, you can't be able to do anything. All the things you go to are beach-related, aren't they?

For vacation? Yeah. Besides the skiing. Skiing, yeah. I'm taking it. I'm pressing the button. I'm pressing it. He's taking it.

He took it. He took it. I'm not doing it. You could still go on a boat. You would just have to find a dock. I think you've sweetened the deal too much, because now I'm definitely taking it. Well, yeah. Yeah, because you could kind of, like, get it with just...

It's like I'm on a beach with no sand. No, you just have to find a dock, like, that is just a dock without a shore, you know? What if, you know, some places, there's rocks, no sand, not a beach? Still a beach. Why is it a beach? That's a rock beach. See, now you're adding words. Not fair.

That's what it's called. My parents have a house on the water. Yeah. Can I go to the house still, or am I not allowed to? Yeah, but you can't go down those stairs. Okay. So you can't touch what would be considered a beach. Yes.

But I could be... You go to a beach town. So if there's a dock and it's just slightly above beach, I can be there? Yeah. This is too sweet. You have to take it now. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I'll take it.

That's fine. You can still go water skiing. So if there's a path to the water, I could just be on that? Yeah. This doesn't make any sense as a question. But you can't be on the beach. So I can't touch the sand. You cannot touch the sand, the rocks, any of the shoreline ever again.

What if I bring a towel? No. Lay it down. Lay it down. What if I'm wearing shoes? Also, how about this? You can only go on a dock if you have an intent to go on a boat. This is, what is we talking about?

Now we're back to the intent. Officer, I was intended to drink it when I got home. Yeah, you'd be like, officer, you don't understand. I'm on this dock because my friend's picking me up. He's a little late on his boat. Listen, this is the deal. This is the deal. I can forego beach life.

I don't need to go to a beach. Life's a beach. Through the beach. No, I want to go to a beach, though. Jason, what do you want to do? What? Never mind. I'm taking that deal.

I don't go to the fucking beach ever. When's the last time you went to the beach and drank on it? Probably a year ago. Last summer, I went to the beach once or twice. I mean, you might as well just ask, when's the last time you went to the beach? Because like we've already established, what is the point of going to the beach if you can't have a few cold ones on the beach? Well, I don't know.

Sometimes you're like, well, actually, I went to this beach the other day because there was some pop-up tent there. Beach drinking is the perfect example of like the hot-cold drinking dichotomy, you know? A cold drink on a hot beach is lovely. So like how a hot cocoa on a cold day is lovely. Exactly. See, I agree with all this. But again, it's not like I can't get through a cold day or a hot day without a hot drink. Tell that to him.

I don't know. Without hot cocoa. Well, it's not that I can't get through it. It's just that at that point, I really don't. Like, I don't tan. I don't swim for fun. Guy doesn't tan now. He doesn't tan.

Okay. No, I'm saying. Jesus Christ. You know what I'm saying? I don't, like, go to tan on the beach. Oh, okay. Like, the activity of tanning, not tanning the skin. Right, right, right.

I don't go to tan on the beach. I don't go to swim at the beach, really. Yeah, I guess. There's no point for me to go to the beach. I agree. The alcohol is a fantastic enhancer of the beach. But I still think going to the beach is worth it without the alcohol. Waves.

Waves, man. They're fun. See, I don't like going in the water. Jump up and down in them. Depends which beach. I'm scared of water, things I can't see in the water. When we were – I went to my friend's bachelor party a couple weeks ago. We were in the lake, and we got off in the boat to, like, swim in, like, maybe, like, three and a half feet deep water.

and a couple of the guys were doggy paddling because they didn't want to touch the ground. That's fair. That's fair to me. I was surprised to see a few guys doing that. I would absolutely be doing that. I would float on my back all the way until I hit the shore

and then I'll like scuttle in. They got a word for people like you. Pussy. Well, listen. Do I have water shoes on? No. Well, of course not. I would bring water shoes.

Then I'd touch the ground. That's the thing. Some people are like beach people like that and so they walked around barefoot when they were kids and now they have, like, rough feet that can save them. The rough feet. Oh, it absolutely does.

It has nothing to do with the problem. Oh, my God, it absolutely does. It has nothing to do with the problem. Some people have very soft, supple feet. Which one are you? What do you think? Look at him. And a shell can fucking rip right through the sole of your foot.

Rip right through. How are you walking? You walk on a rocky, shelly shore. A shell is poking out one way. You step on it. I'm not denying that. I've gotten caught with you. I guess it means I have supple feet.

Jay-Z has soft, supple feet. A hard, leathery hobbit feet has nothing to do with the doggy paddle to me. It's like you just don't want to touch the things. You're not worried about a knife. It's a grossed-out thing. It's not like a danger thing. Oh, well, then they're pussies. I agree.

I'm worried about getting cut. I'm not worried about the, oh, it feels mossy. I'm not worried about that. Nobody's worried. I don't think anybody's really worried about the other thing. I don't care about the moss. That's what you just said. It's more of a grossed-out feeling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying I don't think anyone's worried about the shells. If anybody's worried about shells and glass and bottle caps, everybody's worried. Why aren't you worried about that? I feel like people aren't. I wouldn't be more worried about that. I'm more worried about the icky, gross, don't touch me. I'm worried about the weird fish.

That's so stupid. Yes, there you go. And the weird fish at the bottom. And maybe a crab. I think I'd pinch by a crab. See? Not at the lake. But again, a crab, that's kind of more my boat, frankly.

Wait, why is the crab in your boat? Why is the crab more your boat? It's my boat. You have a crabbing boat? Because it's about, I don't want to get injured. I don't care about the sliminess or the disgustingness. I don't want to get injured. You're right, you're right.

That's fine, but I feel like the crab's more in my boat. It's actually in both boats, kind of. It's in kind of in both boats. It's both boats, because it is an icky, creepy crawly, but it's also... Danny's worried about bleeding. I'm not worried about a fish going by me. I'm worried about a fish biting me. I feel like that's back into my boat.

No. No. I think I caught that fish. Antonio's kind of got to run out of the ocean, because seaweed touches his ankle. You're that guy. No, if I'm in the ocean, that's fine. Just lakes. I don't know.

They're weird. Really? I would much rather swim in a lake than an ocean. Why is that? No sharks? That's one great reason. That's an injured one. That's not a creepy crawly one.

There were sharks in a lake once. Lake Placid? No, wait. That's an alligator. That's an alligator, yeah. I think it was one of the Great Lakes. There was a shark in there once. Oh.

The Great Lakes are big. And those are saltwater lakes? I think bull sharks go in freshwater, but yeah. How do you get there? Is somebody going to put it in or flood? I don't remember. Yeah, there must have been some kind of... Something went wrong.

And that would be actually horrific. But that could be your boat. I don't want that one. No, sharks are scary. I mean, no doubt sharks are scary. Yeah. I saw one. No one in my family believes me.

I saw one at the Bachelor Party. Not the Bachelor Party. Sorry. Fourth of July vacation I just went on. Are you sure it wasn't a dolphin? So that's the thing. It was either 90% a shark or 10% a dolphin. And there are both there.

But I was paddle boarding. I was out paddle boarding. And I saw like a big mound under the water like moving. like what the hell is that literally for some reason it was so big my first thought was submarine someone's in a submarine under there oh my god and then i saw the fin i was like and then i so the fin was like it was kind of coming at me so i you know how you tell the shark fin dolphin fin apart it's like the curve and how pointy it is it's hard to do that when it's facing you so i actually couldn't tell that well but it was pointy and shark like

Wait, are you on a boat or in the water? Paddle board. He's on a paddle board. Oh, my God. Standing paddle board. Oh, my God. I wasn't even worried. I'm not worried about it attacking me.

Its fin wasn't that big, so I don't think it was that big. You thought it was a submarine. That's who they attack. They attack the surfers and the people who look from below. It looks like a seal or whatever. Surfers have their legs in the water. Yeah. I was fine.

I feel like if I was in the water, 100% worried. I don't think the paddle board is helping much. You just need one bump, and it bumps you right off. Yeah, and then you're off. I'll get back on. I have a feeling... I don't know. I'm trying to picture Danny on a paddleboard if he saw a fin.

Is he staying on it? Oh, I'm laying down, just trying my best to not lay it over. And if I get in the water, you know what I'm doing. I'm starting to swallow water. As much as possible, hopefully to end my life before the shark gets there. I do not want to encounter a shark. Even if it's not even a shark. I don't know.

He's just consuming massive gulps of water like Badlands, drinking the lemonade. I would go in water and go. Try my best to choke. I can't do it. I can't do it. I don't know if it's possible to drown yourself. I think that method could be a pretty good one. I think if you could choke yourself, kind of.

Like if you just go into water and breathe deeply. I don't know. I don't think. oh you're gonna make me throw up i think if you i think it's i mean you'd be you might be swimming closer to it but i think the best way to do it is just swim down as far as you can until you can't because then you won't have time to come up that is not see that no that would be the best way because then and stay down there as long as you can and then because your body i feel like your instinct is just you're gonna start trying to go up but hopefully if you do it right you can pass

out you're crying by the way he goes hopefully you pass out before you make the top that that'd be the way to do it hopefully you drown i think the real answer here is i'm just gonna have to start paddleboarding with a gun i think harpoons more what you need i'm not trying to kill the shark oh it's for yourself that's right that's right yeah although you know what i like that idea a harpoon a harpoon might work dude i i hundred dude i think that legit so okay if you go camping you bring bear spray right just in case yeah of that the grizzly coming i think like if you're going swimming the ocean i don't think it's a bad idea to bring harpoon but then what if i mean what if i miss oh it's over so now you need the gun you need the gun that's why i have

the harpoon and the gun yeah okay the oh it's not for the shark that got me that got me really good Okay. Okay. Oh, we're getting lazy with it? You're not even giving us a wrap? Also, I'm pretty sure guns work even if they're submerged in water. It won't do much. No, you can't do it in the water, but I'm saying I don't think it ruins them.

Depends on the kind. Yeah, I feel like guns jam pretty easily. I feel like water would probably really corrupt the systems. If the gun that I was about to do this with jammed, I would think that this is actually a sign from God or something. To fight the shark. me a good sign or a bad sign probably both i think he wants me question question would you would you even wait until the shark starts attacking or would you just get it done early he said he'd do it as soon as it hits the water it could be it could be a kid with a fin on his

back and he wouldn't know i don't know i mean like if it was coming towards me like you said and i just saw that fin i'd probably you get it ready you cock it yeah i get it ready because i I can't do that. The rows of teeth. Everybody's seen a shark tooth. That's too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to be morbid.

No, I thought it was the best way to be morbid. Very good. I just can't. I can't deal with that. I can't deal with the shark. All right, everybody. We're getting the Jason rap. Sign up for the Patreon, by the way.

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