Picky Boys Podcast - We PAID Chris Brown To Grab Our CHEEKS!!! - Picky Boys Podcast #329

Episode Date: June 23, 2024

Shop New Summer Merch! - https://pickyboys-shop.fourthwall.com/ On today's episode, Danny, JT, and Antonio discuss odd party tricks, Danny's new stretching routine, escaping from Alcatraz, Karma for jumping the subway turnstile, why Chris Brown's VIP is a handful, allowing your students to cheat for a raise, and flying spiders from China! Join Patreon for instant access to 100's of extra Picky Boys Videos! - https://www.patreon.com/pickyboy Twitch - https://www.twitch.tv/thepickyboys Make sure to check out all of the guests on today's episode: JT - https://www.instagram.com/thejballs/ Antonio - https://www.instagram.com/antprisco/ Danny - https://www.instagram.com/dannyiswatching/ Picky Boys - https://www.instagram.com/thepickyboys/  

I got up real quick, grabbed a skimmer, and started drowning it. Didn't know bats can swim, and then it started doing this. It was very adorable, at the same time terrifying. I want to hear a funny story that happened to me. It's not funny, actually. You want to hear it? I want to hear it. Do you want to hear it?

Do we want to hear it? I want to hear it. Honestly, now I kind of don't. What would be your preferred method of escape from prison? You think through the sewers? That answer came out of his mouth before you finished. I wasn't even finished asking the question. No, you weren't.

in the summertime when the weather is hot welcome back to the picky boys all right it was almost on tune it was almost on tune i i can't hold a tune all right my life give me a c sharp go was it i don't know i don't know ask charlie pooth it's it sounded like it could have been how many people have perfect pitch oh yeah i let me go into my catalog of what i know i think it's less than one percent half a percent chaz said his uh teacher his music teacher had perfect pitch Is that a requirement to be a teacher? No. Also, I mean...

There's a machine that does it now, too. You just hold it up. What is perfect pitch? It's exactly that. He could make a tone with his voice, and I'll go, oh, that's A minor or something. Okay, so it's not being able to sing perfectly. It's being able to recognize.

Hearing it. Well, technically, if you can hear it, you can then do it because you know which pitch. Yeah, but Charlie Puth, that's his little party trick. People will fucking do this with a pack of batteries, and he'll be like, oh, that's an F major. Yeah, and then if that was his party trick

and we were at the party, I'd be like, sick, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Who cares about that at all? Hey, it's kind of cool. What's your party trick, bitch? Shove quarters in my ass. I know.

Way cooler. That's pretty cool. Way cooler. Way cooler. Oh, you know what would be a cool party trick? If you can do that. I'm thinking maybe you can do this. You put a sleeve of quarter.

You know a sleeve of quarters? I don't want to talk about shoving more things up my butt. You put a sleeve of quarters in your ass and then you just poop them out and there's no sleeve. that would be a cool party trick. That is just disgusting. You de-shell the quarters.

That is disgusting. What do you think? My ass is now a bank? It's like, oh, let's collect the paper. Fucking weirdo. Listen, I'm just giving you ideas. You don't kick shame in here. If you shove quarters up your butt, that's fine.

Rough start to this. Rough start to this. I'm about to take it one step further. Oh, so we only have a minute. Jason gets confused about the profanity. My friend told me that. First of all, lie off the start. No, I can tell you the name of the friend

told me that whisper it everyone heard told me that he knew a guy that his party trick was he would bet somebody like a like cigarettes like you i'll bet you a cigarette i know that i can suck my own dick yeah and then he would do it in front of the entire bar and he would get a cigarette not not enough for a cigarette i think you would bet a little more I mean, you get a free cigarette, and he probably does it at home anyway. Yeah, and no cigarettes at home, clearly, because he wouldn't have done this act for one second. He should start an OnlyFans, honestly. I think he should just, first of all, definitely has one already.

Or some kind of circus thing, maybe. So flexible. Yeah. Do you think he had his ribs removed? I don't know. Some people are just born flexible. You know those people who can go through a tennis racket? Or put themselves in a one-by-one box or something?

Yes, yes, yes. I mean, all those people have to be able to suck their own. Some of them don't have them, so that's not fair. You throw them puss. That's harder. That's way harder. Starting this off real hot. Wait, that's crazy.

Well, I didn't say they can do it, but maybe. Whoa. I don't know. That's too much. I don't understand how you, like, when you're that flexible, you must feel your organs move, right? You must. You must. Think about just, you know, when you drink a lot of water and you hear that noise.

I've been trying to learn how to do a split. It's very hard. No, you have not been. What do you mean trying to learn? watching a youtube video i've been doing daily stretching exercises i swear to god because because we're we're coming in close on 800 patrons patreon.com slash picky boys and for hockey goalies need to have good flexibility and so i've been trying to not i mean obviously i don't think i'm going to do a split in this short amount of time but i'm trying to get more flexible

so that i can you know that's right goals well he's right yeah lots of hockey goalies i mean out of all the things he says he's been trying, this one is very provable. Let's see you. Let's see you do it. I didn't say I could do it. No, but let's see how far you can get. I'll zoom out your camera. Wait, you're not even going to... There's no way you're going to be able to see. Pretty good, right?

That sucks. That sucks. That's good. What were you able to do like a week ago? Keep it, keep it, keep it. Let me get a picture of you. Yeah, do it again. Alright, there you go. Now you're limber. Danny, I'm sending a slap shot right between your legs. Well, you also can do like this, which is probably what I'm going to do.

But also, you do it this way. Oh. Okay, that's pretty good. Okay, hold on. This is impressive. That one's pretty good. And I like the bounce. I like the bounce.

I don't like the bounce at all. You don't like it? No, yeah. It's the – that one's way easier to do. Like, it is more likely that I will eventually be able to do that kind of split than the middle split. Your front – this one was much better. Why am I out of breath? we've got to work

on that too so the moms podcast which is at which is what unlocked at 700 patrons is coming at the end of this month so very soon

so get in there if you're not already in there and you know if you have questions for them post it post it post it before we post it

and then 800 is the hockey slap shot almost at a thousand I know it's crazy we're gonna do something I have a lot of plans

for a thousand besides the tattoo a lot of plans I think so party I think so I think we might be able to do some kind of interesting party.

A little party? Yeah, maybe a party. I love a party. Maybe we'll... Yeah, I don't know. I got a couple ideas. What are you looking at? I had a suggestion. I don't know. I've seen other people comment it, too. We should do a haunted house Patreon goal. Yeah, I saw that. And I gave them the range of

in between 1,000 and 2,000 patrons. Wait, a real haunted house? Or like a... Like a... What do you call that? Like a show haunted house? Like one they'd set up in... in October. No, no, no, no.

Like a real... You're talking about stay at a place that people say is actually haunted. Oh, like a... I thought you meant like I'm not going

to like a spook house. No. You're going to fucking Six Flags haunted house. Right, that's what I'm wondering. No, I don't think... I thought he meant

in between those two things. Not a real conjuring haunted house or like a pop-up shop but they have kind of these overnight stays at certain hotels

where they set it up for you through the night like a 24-hour thing where you'll be sleeping and they'll like make a cabinet open and you have to kind of figure it out

and stuff like that I thought that'd be cool that's cool it's kind of like escape room vibes yeah except everything's just happening to you

yeah you don't like that one we're going to Alcatraz Alcatraz we're going to Alcatraz is that haunted I don't think yeah it's supposed to be

very haunted I've been to Alcatraz it's cool as a as a viewer no one's no one's no one's

no one's in Alcatraz anymore I know but they used to be is that the one where the guys escaped by making like a raft out of bags of chips or something I don't know if that's

there's all kinds of escapes attempts. Look it up, Jason. How do they escape Alcatraz? There's a fantastic, when you're there, you do like an audio tour. It's fucking the best audio tour

I've ever done because they have like prisoner noise in the background. It's like, hey, hey. I like that. It really, you know, puts you into it. That'll make it feel

kind of even, oh, it is Chip. Alcatraz Chip Experience? What was, what did you Google? Wait, go up. I don't even see it, yeah. Alcatraz Bag of Chips Escape.

All right. I don't see it. I think I made that up. I think I made that up. I thought I saw it on Mythbusters. but maybe not. Escape attempts.

There you go. All right. List of escape attempts. This is too much. What would be your preferred method of escape from prison? You think through the sewers? I think you got to just try to ride out on one of the vehicles, like when they're moving.

You got to get, no matter what, every escape, you need a person on the inside. It's almost impossible. Stab yourself, go to the hospital. But even then,

you need someone at the hospital to uncuff you at the time. You can't escape without someone on the inside. Every single escape, every single show Shawshank did it he just took 20 years with a little spoon or something

well you see that's the thing into the wall hold on the 20 years plan that's not that's too that's not

that's not fast enough for me 38 36 inmates escaped but Alcatraz isn't Alcatraz an island like with very rough

waters around it or something yeah it's really a cartoon prison yeah you know it's like the what's from Avatar

like the and it says a successful escape has never been confirmed alright so no bag of chips also So what kind of – they didn't – this is a long time ago. They didn't have the 50% airbag of chips we have now.

They probably had fully packed chips. Well, what I remember from Mythbusters, and I could be totally misremembering it, is that these guys were never found. Bodies were never found. So, yes, the escape's never been confirmed because they didn't catch them. So if there was ever a successful escape, it wouldn't be successful because it means they got caught. How far is that swim? That doesn't look that far, actually.

Oh, JT, that looks far. That looks like less than two miles for sure. Okay. Yeah, but... Did I swim a mile before? Yeah, a mile's doable. Well, that picture makes it look real close. It does.

Wow, I would be so upset. The boat ride was like 10, 12 minutes. They are really setting up this as a cartoony prison escape because if it was just a mass escape, just everyone swims straight into the city and then havoc. There's some movie about that. Why does this prison actually look like mad small? Well, it is tiny.

How many inmates do you think you can hold here? A couple thousand? Oh, I think you'd be surprised. Because there's some quarters over there. I don't think it's tens of thousands. All right, yeah. Alcatraz capacity. O capacity?

Opacity? What are we searching there? Opacity? He did it. He typed it. Oh, my God. It's 260 to 275. I'm not showing that.

It's built to hold 336. Bro, that's minuscule. That must be the worst of the worst of prisoners. I was going to say, it depends on the quality of prisoners. If it's worse or the worst, each prisoner counts for like 100, you know? It does make sense, though, as like a prison theory of like, let's just take all our bad guys and just put them on an island somewhere. Let's take our bad guys and just put

them somewhere else. That's what they did to Napoleon. Dynamite? No. The short guy. What'd they do? They put him on Caprice or whatever. He came back. Yes. Wow. I don't know if that's true. But he came back.

And then they did it again. I don't know about that part. They did it again. On the ship over, they went, you're not getting out of here. Oh, they just threw him. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I get you.

He's not going to swim. He's three feet seven. I get you. I want to hear a funny story that happened to me. It's not funny, actually. You said, I want to hear a funny story. Do you want to hear? Do we want to hear?

I want to hear. Honestly, now I kind of don't. So I went to this music festival, the Governor's Ball. Oh, you met the governor? I met the governor, yes. At his ball. At his ball. It was beautiful.

But we were leaving. And so when you're leaving, there's like 80,000 people. They're all trying to get on the subway. So we're going towards the subway turnstiles, and everybody's hopping them because, you know, it's 80,000 people. Like, there's no cops. They're not going to get you. And I'm not going to be the guy. Like, I don't hop anything.

I don't hop over anything. I don't hop. I don't hop. I am not a hopper. Right. But I'm also not going to be the only guy of 80,000 people to not hop. To pay for it. No, now you're slowing everyone else down.

Yeah, you're slowing everyone down. I just wasn't going to do it. So I was inebriated a bit. And so I go for the hop. I get, I go, I jump. But the thing is, subway, I don't know if you've ever been in a New York subway. The turnstile is locked when you go forward. And it's open when you reverse so that people can leave without paying.

I hit my legs on that thing. Went back, backwards, fucking, first of all, cracked my head on the pavement. It hurt so badly. What part of your head? like just the back of my head because I went backwards and I went oh ow

and then everybody's laughing everybody's laughing at me and so I just go for it again and now there's like some guys trying to help me I'm like I don't need I don't need help

and I finally get over fall forward the other way pants get caught get taken off gets wedgied fall forward the other way bang up my knee and then I just run away

because I didn't want anybody to see he runs away jumps in front of me yeah and I just ran away but it was a humbling experience what's so humbling about that i feel like you look at that jump and

you go this is a 50 50 in the first place well the thing is when i was jumping the first time i felt good oh my god i got this that's the number one mistake you freeze framed it i was like wow this is fucking graceful yeah and then it i'll be honest after the first fall i would have looked at it went i'll pay the three dollars i wasn't gonna i wasn't gonna give up but you fell again Yeah, but he got over. If that happened, if I didn't make it over the second time, I was just going to put my body over and just fall forward. Like a fish.

It's like a fish. But yeah, it was fucking embarrassing. You know what's crazy? Old Danny would never even tell that story because of how embarrassed he is. And now he's just breaking chairs in French bistros and falling in front of thousands of people. I have a question right before, right before. how many people do you think laughed at you at least 10 i i i have i think that maybe you were

imagining laughs is that crazy that could be if i saw that i would think it was so funny and i would never laugh out loud at the person there was definitely some oh i know i think i'd laugh the thing is the falling forward to me is funnier the falling back and hitting your head that could make a sound that no one wants to hear. It wasn't that. I was cognizant of it. You check if they're okay. If they're okay, you laugh. But if it was someone I knew, like if I was there,

God. Yes. You'd have to carry me also over it because my ribs would hurt from laughing so hard. Danny also has a nice little protective cocoon on his head. That's true. But like you said, I would have been very embarrassed of this story a long time ago,

but now every bad story that happens to me, I just say, oh, I can tell on the podcast. It's really a coping mechanism. It really is. It's our therapy. Yeah, truly. You get to be a part of it. The worst part about something like that is now when that happens,

you go, oh, man, that was embarrassing. That sucked. Two days later, you go on social media, you get a post recommended to you. That's a problem. It's just you falling. That would have been awful. That's how it works these days. First of all, God, I wish that happened.

It would have been funny, but it would have been awful as well. That would have been so good. Yeah, it's not great. And then I told one of our other friends, who I guess hops Subway turnstiles all the time, and he said, it's not that easy, is it? And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I guess it's not that easy. Chaz?

Yeah. He's the only one that takes the Subway. I'm trying to protect his name. Yeah. We don't know. Different one. Different Chaz. I tried to hop a turnstile once with a drawstring backpack.

The drawstring got caught in the arm. I went forward. I cleared it. but it brought me back like one of those stunt performers getting dragged on a rig. Yeah, that hurt real bad. I've never hopped a turnstile. I have used the emergency exit.

32 shoes over here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sometimes like someone from the other side will exit through that way and then just kind of leave it open for you. That's a mass rush to that thing. Yeah. Yeah, because it opens from coming out of the subway.

So once it's open, the people who are going to pay could just walk through it. That door will never close again once it's opened. No, the upsetting part was that door was open, but it was just there were so many people in this corridor and I was all the way on the left it would be impossible

to get to the right just to go through that door. So I just went for it. So they really gave you a do or die moment. Also I was confident and I did get over it. You persevered. I did persevere. I could have paid. I would have felt like a big loser honestly.

Oh I'm sorry. I'm glad you feel like a winner now. I'm glad you got here. 60,000 people used that train, and if they had one charge for $2.75, it would have been me. I would have felt like a loser. You might have gotten everyone else caught, honestly. No, I mean, what are they going to do? They honestly should just let it open, but I get it.

When you're talking about a music festival with 80,000 people or whatever, yeah. That day, make the subways there free. Yeah, but also if you're thinking about them, it's like 80,000 people using the subway. That's a lot of cha-ching, cha-ching. No one made it. Well, one almost. One considered it. If you catch one.

I did consider it, too. I was like, should I take out my phone and do a quick boom? Try to make it look like I'm hopping it? Yeah. Yes. Exactly. All right, Jason, what do you got? Jason, what do you got?

So this is Chris Brown's meet and greet package that is $1,000. And this is one of the things that gets you. Some fans purchased 1K meet and greet so Chris Brown can grab that booty. I had to confirm that this is real. I believe it. And it is absolutely sold out, every show, this fucking... Wait, so each one of these tickets gets a booty grab? Yeah, but this is just meet and greet.

This is not concert ticket included. This is all meet and greet? Yeah. Whoa. Concert ticket's not included. You must already have a purchased concert ticket to participate. Wow. That's insane.

This man's getting paid over $1,000 to just grab ass. First of all, $1,000 every day in June. Multiple thousands of dollars every day in June. This man's working. Yeah, this is a crazy tour schedule, honestly. Oh, it's just a summer tour. But still, that's like... That's weird that they went back to Vancouver

and put July 27th all the way at the bottom. Yeah, June's stacked. June's stacked, bro. Wow. That's insane. You could at least include it with the concert. Yeah, if you're paying $1,000. Honestly, but do you?

If you have people that are willing to pay, get their booties grabbed, I guess, that is... I don't even know. I mean, good for him. I didn't know Chris Brown was like... Still that poppin'? Still that big to be doing this.

I got a notification two days ago from maybe like TickPick or one of the ticket apps. It was like, Chris Brown's concert is about to sell out in Barclays Center. Go get a ticket now. And if I knew he was going to grab my ass, maybe I would have. All right. So it's limited to 20 fans per city. With that said, Chris Brown could rake in almost $800,000 for 36 shows just from booty grabs. That's crazy.

What? $800,000? Just from that? Not from the tickets? It's not from the tickets just because he's – just to grab ass. This is $20,000 a show. So he's grabbing 800 fans or 1,600 cheeks, and he's making – First of all, grabbing 1,600 cheeks, hard work.

Hard work. That's a lot of cheeks. Dude, you're going to cramp. Yeah, you've got to work out your finger muscles. There's different – you've got to be prepared for different size of cheeks also. You can't forget that. Well, he only does 20 per city. I mean, you can't just be the guy that's grabbing 100 cheeks every day.

You can't be doing that. 20, you're reaching the upper limit of what's acceptable already. 40 cheeks? Don't want to say anything bad about these people that pay for this, but... No, you could say something. It's a little questionable.

No, you could say something. I feel like you could put the $1,000 to something else, maybe. Why is it questionable? No, but you see, on the flip side, there are people that'll spend like $10,000 to see Taylor Swift because of what Taylor Swift songs did to them at a certain period of time.

I don't know. It's very confusing all around. Hey, man, I question it. If somebody's paying $1,000 for front row nosebleeds, I'll question it if you're just paying that for ass grabbing not even the ticket

how many patreons for an ass grabbing meet and greet I don't know if I don't know if that I don't know if that number exists I don't know if that

number exists I don't know if it'll apply to guys I don't think Chris Brown will grab our cheeks oh no weird what

if I'm if I'm paying a thousand dollars this man is grabbing my cheeks this man is grabbing my ass dude if I'm paying

a thousand dollars he's grabbing my ass he'll refund you bro before he he's not gonna refund me refund me first of all I already spent

a thousand dollars getting to one of these cities I think we should try to go get our asses grabbed by Chris Brown sold out

Barclays Center though Barclays Center sold out the ticket app told me it was about to sell out well maybe the

regular everything crossed out is sold out yeah that's what we're saying he sold out the Barclays Center twice

and Long Island that's probably no this is just a meet and greet this is just the ass grabbing meet and greet that's what I'm saying

It's all sold out. Yeah, I know, but this is only 20 people, so... Yeah, it's a hard grab. It's not like it takes a lot of time. This might have sold out in .3 seconds. Only 20 people per city. You could add one more. Chris Brown.

Who signed personal items? What would you guys get signed by him? Each of my asses. And he has to do it. Chris Brown has to do it. Would you do Chris on one and Brown on the other? Why were you so ready with that? Couldn't have been faster.

First of all, that answer came out of his mouth before you finished the question. I wasn't even finished asking the question. No, you weren't. Danny, are you going to take your mask off? Let me see your phone. I'm doing it on you in 16th. You caught me.

You caught me. I was wondering why he couldn't be here. Wait, no, that's today. Oh, no, it's not. Oh, it's Father's Day. You're doing that on Father's Day? His dad is his daddy. I got one for me and my dad.

We're going together. It's a great gift. I mean good for him I guess 11-11 I wonder what the significance of that is I guess it's make a wish I don't know what made me think about this there is no transition here

this is just a story so my bad I thought about this laying in bed one night there was a time in high school that we took a test and the teacher said oh you're all getting random papers and grading each other's tests

right so i had this one test and it was a girl whose name i was familiar with and not not like close or hung out or anything i just knew her and maybe if i didn't switch any answers 47 on this test worst test i've ever seen in my life worst test um change the answers not supposed to do that but i changed all her answers and i gave her an 82 because i'm not giving her 100 because this teacher knows she's not getting 100 but you could you could fake an 82 yep gave her an 82 that's double the score she would have gotten i want that to be said she had my paper i got some wrong quite a quite a couple wrong not a single change to my paper i got a lower grade than she did when we swapped papers back and that got me very angry can't be nice in this

world can't be nice in this world can't be nice in this nice world didn't get that back didn't get that niceness back she did thank me wholeheartedly also can we talk about the fact that this is just like a teacher that's being a lazy asshole. Oh, I think that if the teacher... No, I think the teacher was trying to get everyone's grades higher. Yes.

And I got... And it's like, I got screwed. I got screwed. Gotcha, gotcha. I thought it was the teacher just being like, I don't want to grade these tests. Grade them yourselves. No, I think he probably got the average score back

and went, oh, something's wrong here. And then he put it all in our hands and I'm the only superhero in that class. Dude, one of my teachers – do you remember like the Regents exam or whatever the New York State test was? And the school, how much like money and funding and potentially raises for teachers would be based on that test. If you did well, you'd get more funding, yada, yada, yada. One of my teachers, before the test started, gave this whole like speech about how you guys need to do good on this, okay? You need to do good.

I need you to do well. And then straight up, like while we were taking the test, left the room for 20 minutes. Damn. People were, at first, people were, like, cheating slyly. And when he left, people were just like, yo, yo, what's number 36? What's number 24? I think at that point, it would evolve to just, number one, what is it? And then it's like, whoever has the answer says it.

It's like, no, the superhero of that class, which was me at the time, but you need a new one for this class, has to go, all right, well, clearly you wanted us to cheat. We have about maybe five minutes. Let's go one by one. Everyone go. And then, like, whoever wants to does it. Whoever does it doesn't.

You got five minutes. And did you cheat? Of course. What'd you get? I can't remember that. 10 years ago, 12 years ago. I did well. I did well.

That's good. Was it a middle school? No, this was high school. What a terrible incentive. Because it's like, if I was that teacher, I would do the same thing. It's like, yeah, who cares? Just get good grades. This is bullshit anyway.

Go. And then you get a bonus. That's such... We're failing somewhere. I don't know where it is. I can't pinpoint it, but it's somewhere. Yeah, wait. Shouldn't the schools that are failing get more money so they can, I don't know, do better?

Yeah, not incentive to just make them give the kids the answers to inflate the scores. I'm not getting into that. I know I don't work in it enough. I'm sure someone else has a problem. Chaz might be able to tell you. Speaking of teachers not doing what they're supposed to and tricking their kids into doing it, I saw a TikTok that was like, every few months I have my kids play who can bring back the dirtiest wet wipe. So basically they're cleaning their classroom, but it's a contest.

And it's like, who can bring back the dirtiest wet wipe? And they're tricking these children into doing cleaning. Now they're just going to come back. I'm going to wipe my ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go. Hey, I win. The first thing I went to.

Also, if someone came back to her with a shit-filled wipe, she deserves it. She deserves it. And they won. And if that person doesn't win, we have a problem. Yeah, that's true. Also, hell yeah. Child labor. I'm fine with that.

A teacher tricking the kids to clean? Love that. Love that. Also, you teach them to clean. Everyone wants kids. Kids are dirty as shit. Yeah, no. I mean, it makes sense.

And honestly, if I was a kid, I feel like I would love that game. I'm trying to get the dirtiest wipe. Wipe all kinds of shit. Not my shit. Not my shit, but, you know, shit. Pull on your pants. Let me wipe your ass. No, that's not what I mean.

That was close. I just mean, whatever. What's the next story? Giant venomous flying spiders invading New York any day now? Oh, what? Wait, why is it so ominous? What does that even mean? So they're not here yet, but they're coming?

Oh, my God. Is that to scale? No, it's not. Suck my ass. I'm talking about in reference to that other- That's what it is, Joro spider. I'm talking about in reference to that other spider. They can fly.

What? Shut up. Leg spans up to four inches. That is pretty much to scale. That is. Four inches is huge. Is that about four? I think it's four.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's about four? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Get a load of this. That's how the article starts. Oh, I thought you were saying that. Get a load of this. Female gyrospiders have leg spans reaching up to four inches

and are known to use their silk webs to make balloon shapes that allow them to be carried through the air. They're too advanced. So they're using fucking paragliders, web gliders. They're falling with style. And it's an easily identifiable trait. Well, yeah, they're flying. They're also yellow.

Okay. Well, I feel like we've gotten this far in evolution because we're allowed to go, hey, you guys got far enough. Maybe we get rid of you. And I think we're starting to hit the point where a couple creatures are getting a little too advanced. And I think it's time for us to

probably lay down the human hammer somewhere. So where are they right now, and why do they think that they're coming to New York City? Since they've already invaded multiple states, it looks like. First arrived in North America in 2010 when they were spotted in Georgia, most likely from shipping containers. And since then, Florida, Carolinas, Alabama,

Mississippi, Virginia, West Virginia Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio They are climbing They are climbing First of all, ground zero, Georgia, blow that up That's number one And then Oh, and it's only a matter of time

Before they start popping in New York Sea and beyond New York Sea, what the fuck did I just say Your first time here, bud What the hell did I just say Can we get more Are they poisonous? Oh, I hate it being on that hand

Oh, it's a fake picture, but still. They are venomous. They look pretty good. But not lethal to humans. Oh, we're fine. Or pets. Yeah, no. Yeah, great.

How about you have a hundred of them living in your bed? Other spiders and insects. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care if it can't hurt me. So this will be getting rid of, like, mosquitoes and shit. Oh, my God. That's such a dumb excuse to keep these things around. JC, if you saw that thing in your room and you lost track of it.

First of all, how could I lose track? It's eight inches tall. You lose track. You lost it. What are you doing? Eight inches tall. Well, I'm not sleeping in my room that night or the whole following week. First of all, I'm pretty sure we had an argument the other day that if you lost a spider in your room, you're still sleeping in that room.

Okay. I didn't know it was a tarantula. That's fair. That's fair. I thought you meant like a little spider. Quiet pick. Also, if – oh, God, I hate – I would hate – oh, God, it's right. I would probably actually call for help because I'd be afraid if I looked away to get a paper towel, it'd be gone, and now –

God, that's terrible. I hate it. Do you know that if you cut off a cockroach's head, the wound will heal up, and then it'll end up dying from dehydration, like, days or weeks later? Yeah, we should get rid of those, too. It just doesn't need its head. Sounds like we should get rid of those, too. Cockroaches? Yeah.

Impossible. First of all. They could survive a nuke. I'm not sure if it's—is that true, also? No. Yes. They could survive—no, they could survive fallout. Oh.

They could survive the radiation and everything. Nothing—they can't just, like, survive a massive explosion. Yeah. Because I feel like they would just be making armor out of their shells at that point. Have they ever, like, squished a bug? and then like with a paper towel or something and then you lift it up and then it runs away. How did it not die?

I don't know. Now I squeeze until I hear the crunch. I think some bugs have three lives somehow. That could be it. Cats have nine. There has to be another animal that has multiple. I try to wrap it up and then I put it in the toilet. You ever gotten a tick? Yeah, of course.

Don't yeah, of course. Out of all of us, he seems like a tick. He's the tick guy? You don't roll around in the grass? I mean, I've never Tick man Antonio has never rolled around in the grass First of all, I'm allergic to trees and grass

That's doctor said I think it's the pollen I don't know, specific types of trees too But you're allergic to both of them That's enough I mean, I found out I was allergic by rolling around in the grass And with all the ticks Well, I got ticks from just like

Kind of walking through tall grass, like Pokemon I didn't get ticks from rolling around I was joking JT collected the wrong type of Pokemon. They were all ticks. What was the question, by the way? It was just calling him Tickman? No, they are bugs.

They're so tiny, you can't really squish them. It's really hard. Yeah, he's right. I'm feeling phantom bugs. Somehow when it's tiny enough and you try to squish it, I don't know if it goes in between your fingerprint lines or something, but it just doesn't squish. No, that's way too tiny.

You know those tiny, tiny little red ones outside? Yes. The ants? The bloodsuckers. Are they ants? Yeah, they are ants. They're a classification of ant. But I've seen an actual ant that's red.

Either way. A fire ant. Those, I don't think those are here. I think those are red, though. Regardless, if you try to squish one, sometimes you'll lift your finger up and it's just... They just compress. I feel like they die very easily. Well, yeah, if you really get them.

Poke them. In a magnifying glass. So on a bigger scale of something that was crushed, that scurried away, when I was attacked by the bat in my yard you know about this do you not know about this i was attacked i was sitting in the pool all by myself at night i was here and i was like oh that was weird and then and then and then it starts hitting my head jason and then i i got it off me and i swatted it into the pool i got up real quick grabbed a skimmer started drowning it didn't know bats can swim and then it started doing this it was very adorable at the same time terrifying yeah it swims with its

weight yeah it's very it was very cute i was like oh but i kept trying to drown it wasn't drowning picked up with the skimmer flipped it over and just trapped it like a net and I was screaming screaming like honestly a toddler

I was screaming my dad came running out grabbed a garbage can crushed it now we were like I think he got it lifted the garbage can

flew right at him because the garbage can has a dent underneath didn't work then he screamed like a child ran inside left me out there to deal with it

I'm Batman that's my point did you kill it or did it get away I think it got away definitely definitely wounded no then it turned into a vampire

No, it was definitely wounded, definitely wounded. It got over the fence, though. Haven't seen it again, and I was probably traumatized, but I don't know what that feels like. The bats are awful. I hate them. So scared. I touched it.

That's what I think about a lot of the time. It's leathery, right? Yeah, I don't. It was too fast. I think I just punched it into the water. Like, I don't like the fact that it was so close in getting me that I hit it. Also, very brave instinct by me,

because I could have just quivered and got eaten by that whole bat. If you haven't heard it, I was on my sixth-story balcony just sitting and just enjoying the fresh air, and I see this thing coming at me. I'm like, what the hell is that? And it fucking, boom, hits me right in the chest, and then it falls to the ground. It's a fucking bat, and I swear to you, I almost f***ed myself up. I almost jumped off. It was awful. I don't like thinking about it, actually.

Well, we can make you not think about it a little faster. Let's get out of here. JT, tell them where to find you. You can find me on Instagram at TheJBalls. Danny? You can find me at DannyIsWatching and in the Batcave. And in the Batcave. You can find me at AntPrisco.

Can't forget to follow Danny. Don't mess it up. I threw up your timing here. ThePickyBoys on Instagram and TikTok and Twitch. And don't forget to follow the gaming channel. And thanks for watching.