Picky Boys Podcast - Would You Rather Pt. 25 - Picky Boys Podcast #386

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

KARTIOTHON 2 IS STILL LIVE ON DAY 11! - https://www.twitch.tv/thepickyboys In today's podcast, Antonio, JT, Jason, and Danny play would you rathers that were submitted on our discord! As you can see, we’re not on our usual set; we’re filming this live during our Mario Kart subathon, which is currently on day 11 with over 30 hours left! Let us know your answers to the would you rathers in the comments down below! Join the Patreon and unlock 700+ posts instantly! - https://www.patreon.com/pickyboys Shop Our Summer Merch - https://pickyboys-shop.fourthwall.com/ NEW STUFF IN DANNY'S LAB! 🤫 - https://extrapicky.com/ Make sure to check out all of the people on today's episode: JT - https://www.instagram.com/thejballs/ Antonio - https://www.instagram.com/antprisco/ Danny - https://www.instagram.com/dannyiswatching/ Send us mail here! Picky Boys Podcast PO Box 740050 9224 Queens Blvd Rego Park, NY 11374 Picky Boys - https://www.instagram.com/thepickyboys/

there's some long nips imagine the opposite now imagine the opposite there's in nips why are you sticking your ass in the air in the first place it's a great question well you got to attract something i don't know if it's a hot take if you've seen one animal you've seen them all listen they all act the same i go we're gonna brush over it but would you rather be chaz or would you rather be jason welcome back to the picky boys podcast we're doing Would You Rather today, and you may notice something slightly different. Something's a little not the same as it usually is. A little not the same.

We're playing to a live audience right now. How many people are here right now? That's a couple hundred. 130 people. They're all literally right in front of us. Yeah, we see them all. Everyone laugh. Danny ruined it.

His laughter outshined the studio audience. We are live right now on Twitch, twitch.tv slash thepickyboys. We're on what number day of the sub-a-thon? 11. We're on. Day 11. We've got cameras on us for 11 days. We're on day 11 of the sub-a-thon, and yes, that's why we had to do this now and live,

because we ran out of videos banked. A lovely suggestion said that we should have banked four years' worth of videos, and they're absolutely right, but we couldn't have thought of that. Absolutely not. Would You Rather's today? Chat submitted some. let's get into it i'd say that the threads of our minds are loosening oh they yeah no more knots it's maybe the brain was a knot now it's not still got it though not not not not but spelled

with a k chat genius says it's day 11 please we've been drinking so much all right jason would you rather all right first one would you rather have hands as feet or feet as hands it's classic hands his feet feet his hands like the answer is so obvious oh i know what jt's so obviously a chimpanzee yeah jt's gonna pick hands his feet i would like i would like someone to even attempt to argue feet as hands um i could do it yes feet his hands yes some people just into feet that's that's not good some people just into feet and now what you're into you just do this Probably give yourself a little of that. Sniff it a little bit.

One single argument I could think of, and it's that you can walk on all fours, I guess. Yeah, you could gallop, I think, for sure. You could gallop now. Is galloping, is the feet what makes the gallop hard, not the arm bent nature? Yeah, I don't think you could gallop, actually. But I will say, if you were a really big runner, you're really into running, I think those people would go feet. They'd go four feet. You can't really run on hands.

Okay, like Usain Bolt would pick feet for hands because he needs his feet on his feet. Yeah, but even he, he's already done it all. What does he need his feet for anymore? Oh, my God, JT. People like Usain Bolt. Not Usain Bolt himself, but like runners. I was just trying to give an example to help your point.

Now I'm off it. I don't think it was a good point. Bad point. Are you guys all going hands to feet? I'm controversial. I'm going feet to hands. I'm going to feet, Jason. No, no, no, no.

That's not why. I think I can make more money off this. I think I could kind of sell these pictures of my hands. No, no, no. Pictures of your feet. My feet hands. Would you put shoes on your hand feet? That's a great question.

No, I think I'd have them all nice and done. You'd have pedicure on your hand feet? Yeah. I'm getting a petty petty. I'm getting a petty petty. I think I can monetize this in a way. Jason. Hit us with the next one.

Jason, I like where your head's at, but we know you're just going to sniff those toes. Don't lie to us. God, please. We're just seeing the live feed of chat going. Is Jason just reading out the submitted ones? Why, you have one? No, you go, Jason.

You can chew one off if you want. You got it, you got it. Great job. Would you rather be reverse mermaid, fish top, leg bottom, or reverse cenotaur, horse top, leg bottom? oh yeah it's either way i have likes yeah i feel like i'd rather be the fish top legs bottom because the coolest part of being the senator is that i'm a human top and i get that horse thing now i'm just horse top and human thing that's like the worst part of both you would

be brolic though i'd be a horse you can make a really good bojack horseman costume you basically are BoJack Horseman, actually. Isn't a centaur top and human bottom, isn't that just a minotaur? Wait, am I thinking of... I'm thinking of the horseman. Or is this the bull one?

Hmm. Centaur or minotaur? No, no. Minotaur's the bull. Okay. Minotaur's a bull. But it's essentially a minotaur, but horse. Yes. Okay. Dude, you're a horse with a whack penis. Wait, and horse top, that means I have hooves for hands. That's no good

I don't want that That's true Yeah but you don't want Flippers either Yeah but at least I can swim really fast What are you going to do When you're not in the water

That's a great question Can you breathe Yeah I don't have lungs anymore So I'm going to be in the water So what do you do To attract the sailors Do you just stick your butt Out in the water

Do you want to be a siren What no I'm saying You got to I'm saying you got to do something Yeah I mean I'm not saying that What indicated that I said Oh, once you lure the sailor, bring him to its death.

I don't know. Why are you sticking your ass in the air in the first place to attract them? It's a great question. Well, you got to attract something. You don't have to do any of that. No. That's a choice. So what?

You're just going to live your life as a top fish, man bottom? I'm not banging sailors, all right? You got to bang something, Jason. All right. Well, think about this. Deals, I think. Which one would you rather hang out with if this was one of your friends? I'd rather hang out with Horseman, personally.

Yeah, but you keep thinking it's BoJack Horseman. Yeah, it's not going to be BoJack Horseman. It is BoJack Horseman. No, it's not BoJack Horseman. Can the horse talk, or do I sound like a horse? That's a great question. I guess it's up to interpretation. All right, I'll go Horseman.

Horseman. Horseman. Imagine going to a horse racing track as a horse. That'd be sick. I mean, they might try to put you in the races. What would be that different between going to a regular race track as a human and watching the humans race? what would be that different you're a horse oh wait wait excuse me yeah i'm confused the

the horse racing experience won't be any different as a spectator yeah but i'm picturing a horse in like a top hat and uh i don't know he's just thinking about bojack horse okay jason can we do you have a question that is not bad oh all right fine danny did you come up with it would you rather oh no that's not what i'm asking i saw i saw i saw tons of questions in the discord danny why don't you vet because his guy's vetting this guy's vetting he's not gonna be able to save a cat or a dog i skipped the discord okay this is from the discord heavily vetted by the way i made sure i don't trust got him so good would you rather have dick-sized nipples or a nipple-sized dick i see now this is something this is nuance

i skipped that one because i was like i'm going to get yelled at this well jason now you're getting reverse yelled at you're getting unyelled at this is crazy this is a hard one too what was it again i'm saying give me oh wait actually speaking of hard one do they get hard honestly yes sure they have to that's that's no good you're gonna have some perked up nips dude that's no good now second question are the nips my size like because then i won't have to worry about it the dipples yeah are the dipples my size like do they swap right now or yeah it's all the same size i'd say symmetrical matching carpet matches the drapes type of situation right huh yeah i'm saying i'm going with the dick nipples i can't have a nipple size penis also

because some nipples are innies. I can't have an innie penis. Excuse me? You know how like some, like you ever see Brian's nipples? They're like credit card nipples? You don't have innie nipples, so why are you worried about that?

What? Right. What? What? What is an innie nipple? This cannot be the first you've heard of this, Danny. Thank you, JT. Thank you, JT.

I've never heard of an innie nipple, ever. You never seen a nipple that the outside kind of folds over the top of it? It's kind of like a coin could go in there. Yes, JT. I've never seen this in my life. I have no idea. Jason, look up innie nipples, please.

Jason, look up mini nipples. You got to start seeing more nipples is your problem. I've definitely seen people with more, like, you know, pronounced nipples than other people. Well, yeah. Like more extruded nipples. Yeah, there's some long nips. So imagine the opposite. Now imagine the opposite.

There's in-nips. I've seen long nips. I've seen in-nips. Those are protruding, correct? Right. So imagine intruding nipples. Yes, your nipples are intruding on yourself. Now, if I had those nipples, I can't have that as a penis.

That'd be a big, small problem. That'd be a small, big problem. Concave nips. Thank you, Chad. I feel like it would be easier to fix a dick-sized nipple. A dick-sized nipple? What does that mean? Are you going to cut it off?

There's nothing to fix. All bodies are beautiful, even the dick nipples. True. Oh, wow. There's a lot of implications for the dick nipples, actually, when you think about it, because you've got two of them. I mean, there's tons of implications, actually. Wow.

You're getting it. Actually, I'm going dick nipples because that'd be cool. Never mind. All right. Yeah. A lot of implications with the penis nips. That's good stuff. I think you'd need a sort of...

Here we go. I don't know if it would be a bra, but you definitely have to wear something. It would be a bra. Yeah. I think you'd need a specially made bra. Maybe like a draw or something. Yeah. Something with a D because boob is bra, D is draw.

Yeah. Is that why they call it bras? Because boobs? it could be why did it start with a b that seems really coincidence bra well they don't call it trough or tits they don't are you saying they don't call it a trough no trough t-r-a oh okay i thought we're back to horses for a sec i'll tell you what sometimes my trough all right next question uh does anybody else have any you want me what about uh here we go this one's just pretty straightforward would you rather never sit down again or never stand up again you can lay down

in both situations oh wow never stand up never sit down that's a big jason answer the never stand up thing big jason answer but i could lay down yeah so every time i want to sit i'll just lay down you just have to be late you have to be vertical um horizontal i'll take that one really Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah, I'm taking that, too. I'll take that one. Jason, you still get to rest your body. You just lay down horizontal.

So if I'm at a concert and I'm tired, I have to... Lay down. Lay down. Yeah, you have to lay down. You would have to at any kind of fair or festival. How do you drive a car? You would have some sort of a horizontal setup, kind of like this situation. Go, go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was taking longer than I thought. You would do one of these. Go? Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I think you'd have to put a mirror on your ceiling. Right, right, right. So that you could see. You good back there, Danny?

Yep, yep. You just see the road in front of you, and you just kind of do one of these. At that point, put the wheel on the roof as well. This is a good question. How do you poop? Same thing. Oh, that's right. Yeah, same thing.

Right there. Yeah, right there. Same thing. I think I could poop like this. I'd love to see it. You don't believe in me? I don't. Jason, you don't believe in your friend?

JT, I think you could do anything. I think I could, too. Well, I don't think you could unrecline. Oh, jeez. I don't know. This is... I'm thinking through the implications, and I think I have to pick Never Stand Up. Thank you.

I mean, tons of people. Don't let him flip you. Tons of people do that one already. I don't know of anyone who does the first one. Like who, JT? People in wheelchairs. What did you think? Danny.

What? Well, I just wanted him to specify. Okay. The people who took the magical would-you-rather option. Danny needed specific. Oh, Danny in the chat. Danny needed specification on that chat. So maybe it's not that straightforward as you thought.

Danny's not good at betting these either. i i thought that was a pretty good no no it's a good one but you said it was straightforward that's not nothing straightforward about that i'm i'm gonna go don't stand because people like jt said many many people do it already i feel like you could squat to poop that's a good so you could just squat to drive your car you could squat jason you're not squatting to drive Oh, I'll show you right now. I feel like they can make a standing car, by the way. That's a great question.

How is a squat a sit? Please explain to me. It's a great question. You're literally sitting on your calves. That's what you're doing. You don't have to squat that low to sit on your calves. You're literally sitting on your calves. Answer this question, Antonio.

In the hypothetical we were talking about two podcasts ago, can you stand for 48 hours? Why can't you squat? because it's a sit because you're sitting because it's a sit what does that have to do with anything it's because the moral of the story was you couldn't really bend your legs i'm not feels like logically inconsistent i don't know about that all right fine whatever imagine the quads the quads would be immaculate probably after a year of this no when you're at the gym and you don't sit so you just squat that's true i agree why can't you lay on your stomach to drive

like superman guys i'm pretty sure like imagine a bus if you just took the chair out of a bus like the driver's section and raise the steering wheel a bit you could definitely stand and drive that if i can stand and be on the bus i could stand and drive it yeah sure well the pedals are on the ground like you step on yeah it'd have to be like a step like a front step thing i feel like it's a little harder to maneuver if something goes wrong you're just getting thrashed around so The solution is to buy a bus. Yeah, basically. You got a commercial driver's license.

You have to do what you got to do, Chad, in these. This is a magical school bus of options. All right, fine. I'm picking no sitting. There you go. Danny, you let them switch you again? Yeah. Yeah.

No backbone. I'm going no standing. I'm sticking by it. Good for you, Jason. Proud of you. Jason can't stand for anything. Would you rather have everyone you know be able to read your thoughts or everyone you know have access to your internet history?

well jason can't pick internet history no i cannot uh definitely but the thoughts is also really bad well why is it really bad i don't know i mean i'd i'd argue that are your if you go to search up something on the internet isn't that your thoughts i would say my my yeah my internet history is my thoughts also oh how big is an elephant's penis oh what's the what's the closest this it's all that yeah i only search something on the internet if i first think it and then don't know it yeah yeah but nobody would no but it's not like while you're upstairs in your room i'm just reading your thoughts it would be like right now i don't just know every thought you've thunk that's not how that works it's like right now while jason's

thinking wow i really wish i saw venom and spider-man bang i would hear it now yeah yeah not just like when he's out and about and you know watching things i'm gonna say also incognito Obviously, that's part of it. Anything in history. Still internet history. How bad is your internet history? Yeah, why do you think... It's not that bad.

Yeah, okay. Well, then it should be easy. Behind every 18-digit password and firewall, that still comes out as well. You're right. I'll pick the internet history I actually flipped. Why do you want your thoughts to not be red? He's trying to cover himself. Dark web.

Danny can't have his thoughts red because Danny's thoughts are awful. no yeah you can't nobody nobody's allowed to see to hear these except for me danny's thoughts are awful gotta hide those as much as you can you gotta put those behind fort knox and i'm gonna say awful but i think antonio's thoughts are awful my thoughts are exactly what you think danny exactly what you think so awful yeah but honest oh well then my thoughts are the same uh my thoughts are dark i'd be in prison honestly yeah if you could be in prison for thoughts I mean, 1984. Oh, we'd all go away.

Yeah, we'd all go away. And start. You could definitely be in prison for search history. Not me. Maybe Jason. I don't know. All right. Which one?

What was the question? I'm taking the... Your one? You could have my history. Who cares? Yeah, take my history. You'll see some interesting things. Have fun with it.

You reading one? I found a little wacky one. All right. Do a little wacky one. Would you rather live in the Game of Thrones universe as a low-level soldier or live in the Mario universe as a Koopa Trooper? I think it's Koopa Troopa. Okay, thank you.

Mario. Didn't have to hard-on the Koopa there. Yeah. Game of Thrones as a soldier kind of sucks ass. I feel like it would be more fun, though. Why is that? There's dragons and stuff. Yeah, but I don't want to...

Dude, you don't actually want to fight a dragon as the soldier? No, you don't. Oh, as burnt soldier number seven. Oh, I'm not fighting the dragon. I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch them fight. What do you think a soldier does? I'll be in the back

Too many awful things happen I'd rather experience cartoon violence Than real violence I'd say Plus if you're a Koopa Troopa A lot of times Mario doesn't even kill you He jumps on you and sends you flying At like 60 miles an hour

But then if you bounce back you can kill him Yeah but he sends you back into lava sometimes Yeah that's true Or throws you off a cliff That'd be unfortunate as well I'll be Koopa Troopa I'll tell you what I think I have more of a chance

of killing Mario as a Koopa than I have of surviving as a lowly soldier in Game of Thrones Yeah I think this as well I think I could take care of an Italian plumber with a doofy mustache I don't think I could fight a dragon

White Walkers, literal magic and shadow beast and dire wolves as a lowly soldier I don't think I could do that Yeah, plus, if I make it out of the Koopa Troopa days in Bowser's Castle, maybe I can retire, I can find a nice Koopa wife, have some Koopa kids, and I could probably live in this world after. I don't think you can in Game of Thrones.

What do you have to say to that? I'm going Game of Thrones, though. I'm just going to hang out in the back. I'm going to let my friends go out and fight. I'm going to watch. Also, the White Walkers? This is not how being a soldier works. You can't be a soldier and then just go, I'm not fighting.

I'm going to join the Marines, and I'm just going to go and maybe take some photos there. People do that. Oh, wait. They're not soldiers, though. I'm still going game with those. You're not flip-flopping me. He was thinking for a second of, like, war journalists. Yeah, the war journalists.

Yeah. I may have been thinking about that. That is true. He said people do that. People join the Marines and take photos. Well, I mean, I knew a couple Marines that took a couple photos, but that's not the point. The Marines aren't soldiers? No, not the Marines.

No, the journalists. The journalists. War photographers. Let's clear that up. Let's clear that up. Jason just mumbles and you can't hear it. Of course Marines are soldiers. That's not what he said.

Well, this one's good. It's Marines. Would you rather be able to spot every lie or convince anyone to believe every lie you tell? Say that again. One more time. Would you rather be able to spot every lie or convince anyone to believe your lies? Convince anyone to believe your lies is so powerful. it is oh man that's that is so powerful yeah but spotting every lie is pretty powerful as well

not as powerful not as powerful actually to a degree where not at all i would argue it's so it's so far apart the degree of importance that it's not at all because you also have no way to prove it so you would just be like you just see on every every news show every politician you'd be like yeah that guy's lying everyone be like yeah buddy but first day on earth yeah we're all lion i mean you you could instantly become like the greatest poker player of all time oh that's true okay you could definitely monetize it also convince people to i can also do it be the best poker player of all time yeah you by convincing people yeah what are you talking about and it's more powerful everything that the other power can do i can do and i control it every other everything

i feel like give another example i feel like it won't work as well i feel like you'd rather have the other one in strictly if you were playing poker you'd rather be able to see the lie and play your own game than convince people of a lie what are you talking about every time you could just go all in and say i have quads and they'll believe you and then they fold and you win what does it matter that's a very good point thank you jason yeah convincing people is definitely 10 times better i i think the like the kind of more ethical boring choice is what danny's saying But I think you have to go with lying Being able to lie

Perfectly Just go up to a stranger on the street I need $400 right now Or the earth's gonna explode You can convince him That's true As a human lie detector You basically solve the justice system

You be like the most powerful judge on earth Yeah but that's not how the justice system works That's not how it works But if a person like this existed That's how it should work But no one will know you have that No one would believe you Now you have to go on this whole tirade trying to convince everyone.

How are you going to convince people that you have this power? I think it's pretty simple to convince people. You could literally get as many people as you need, thousands of people, and just tell them to make up a lie. That should be pretty convincing. I think they think you're doing a magic trick. Yeah, they think you're doing a big con. I watched a guy, this mentalist guy, and he's doing basically stuff on that level all the time. And I don't think it's actually real.

And he gets it right every time. No one's going, which bird? Does it have to be on every jury? I mean, juries just wouldn't exist anymore. It would just be me, and then the murderer would come in, and I'd be like, did you murder her? And then he'd say yes, or he'd say no, and I'd say, liar. If he said yes, your job is done.

If he said yes, you already did the job. Exactly. It'd really be quite interesting. I'd also make a great private investigator. I could tell you if your wife's cheating on you or not. This is so much work. You have this cool power, and you're putting yourself through so much work. Why be a P.I.?

Like, do something else. Well, I feel like I'll just, I'll touch more lives this way. Don't touch anybody. I think it would be exhausting. Because, again, you don't know the truth. You just know when things are lies. You'd be, your little detector would be going off all the time. Someone would be like, oh, I woke up at 10.

Really, they woke up at 10.05. So, boom, your live thing goes off. Someone goes, Danny. It's exhausting. Someone goes, Danny, I love you. Boom, it goes off. And now your mom's lying to you. And now your own mom's lying to you.

I don't care if people lie to me. I'd rather be able to convince people. Wow, this is weird. Oh, you just popped in? Yeah, we're live-potting. I saw a funny one. It's not that... Ooh.

What is yours, Jason? We're going to brush over it, but would you rather be Chaz or would you rather be Jason? I think that's the one Leona wanted me to ask. Would you rather be Chaz or would you rather be Jason? That's a great question.

Call me biased. Call me biased here. You'd rather be Chaz? Yes. I don't care if anyone lies to me yet. Don't hurt my feelings. Chaz isn't here. Well, Chaz is really bad at sports.

Would you guys rather do five years in jail or two years homeless? Unhoused, JD. Oh, I'm sorry. Five years in jail or two years unhoused? Ethically unhoused? ethically unhoused ethically two years

homeless for sure two years homeless I'm not going I'm not going dude that sounds really tough oh man I didn't say

I didn't say it'd be easy no no I don't like that I think I don't like I don't know if I can survive

in these streets man you think you're gonna survive in jail for five years yeah alright wait what was the first option

two years houseless or five years in prison yeah oh I'd have to go you know what I'd go prison we all know Danny's picking prison

he picks prison every time it's not new he picks prison every time he picks prison every time that's not true at all I just feel like I just feel like there are a lot of good guys in prison you know who like are reformed and I feel like I can make some friends for life

what is this take I don't think this is correct I think a lot of people in prison probably disagree with you I didn't say there weren't bad guys in prison obviously there are bad guys but I think there are a handful of people who just made some mistakes and I think they'd be interesting

you could also make homeless friends you don't think you could make some homies I agree I'm doing five years in prison the logic I think I disagree with it I don't know I completely disagree read some books

you said there's a lot of nice people in prison He said some. He said some, not some. Which he's probably right. He said they're all very nice. They're all reformed. Oh, great question.

Can we pick where we are homeless at? I don't think I could do two years homeless in New York City. This shit is brutal out here. You go to the sunnier place? Yeah, I'd go to... Florida? I'd go to Los Angeles. Ooh.

Ah, too hot. Yeah. Is that the place with the little towns? What? Oh, you're talking about the homeless encampments? The homeless towns? Yes. we're gonna have a couple what level security prison great question definitely uh you gotta

go you gotta go if i'm super homeless you're super in prison oh i think that's like you're not going to a white collar prison i gotta be there right girls like the serial killers yeah you gotta go to a like all right now i'm going homeless what are we talking about yeah yeah oh yeah danny goes to the prison where the point is it's five years yeah no white collar years that's fly it's no more than double that's true okay just based off time alone i'll go homeless also i think i'd be very um you know resourceful and i'd have lots of things and a cart you do seem like cart guy what are you like ariel but homeless you just gather a bunch of things well i don't know i don't know i just think i'd be resourceful i agree i think it'd be very mermaid reference

Yeah, it was a Little Mermaid reference. Thank you, JT. I'm glad you caught that. Would you rather spend a year living at sea or a year living on an isolated mountain? What is a year living on a boat? Yeah. On a ship.

What's an isolated mountain? Like there is a... Like you had to hike many hours to get to the top and there's just like a watchtower there that you just live on this mountain. No chance Antonio does that. Nobody talks to you. oh you know very very few amenities uh how do i get food sherpa love a sherpa

i'm gonna go the boat though what kind of boat what kind of boat big boat it can't be that nice it can't be that nice a boat just because your accommodations on the mountain are nice all right i'm gonna go mountain because i like a little watchtower and a little scenery and i just don't i don't want to sail a boat for a year i don't know how to do that all right what about this same thing you're still alone but it's a really really nice like mansion on a mountain or a really really nice yacht and there's people no people on both how am i taking care of a full yacht by myself i'd rather be in a mansion on a mountain just let the magic happen let the waves take you let the waves take you i'm going on mountain because if something happens i can just go down

if my boat crashes or sinks i'm just in the ocean so i'm gonna go mountain especially now that i have a mansion i have a mansion in the mountains i got an mm fine man if something happens i feel like if you sustain any injury you can't get down a mountain yeah that sure but if my boat sinks i'm in the middle of the ocean i mean your boat sinking is very unlikely here why stop making me make caveats but and me breaking my leg is just as i'd rather i'd rather break my leg on a boat than break my leg on the top of a mountain so now we're guaranteed we're breaking our legs well no okay would you rather break your leg on a boat um i don't know or mountain or mountain all right so question can i like um in either of these scenarios can i on the mountain

Can I go into town to get groceries or something? And then when I'm on the boat, can I stop off at a dock and go to a restaurant or something? Yes. Okay, then I'm absolutely going boat. How's boat life? Sounds awesome. Just travel around and live in your boat, and it's going to be great. You could go up to the shores of Italy, get some pasta, hop back in.

JT would just be a—oh, look, that's Captain JT and his local boat. And you have a beard, and you always have a beard. and they would tell stories about him and they wouldn't like him too much when he hangs around too long. That would always smell a little fishy. And he would smell real fishy. More than he already does.

I follow a guy who sails, who is sailing solo across like the Atlantic Ocean. I think I saw this guy. And he told a terrifying story that he was sailing and one day his sail got like swept by the wind and the big like mast of the sail like hit him in the head

and knocked him unconscious. Jeez. but he's okay yeah that's why i would like the mountain and the mansion chat even though creaky mansion in the mountains at night very scary that'd be very scary i thought you'd be too scared to do that like wendigos or yeah what if there's a cryptid up there all right so now in this skinwalker cryptids exist now in this scenario all right fine what if there's a kraken that takes your boat that's a good point what if there's a kraken that takes your boat it's definitely something you take precautions for but oh by the way jt can we talk about something that

you referenced a few podcasts ago sure someone in fact jt said that there is a theory that the loch ness monster is actually a whale penis true but someone in the comments very i think intelligently came back with there are no whales in loch ness i don't know man i heard it online what do you want me to you want me to defend my position how do we even know that picture was really taken in lock mess yeah i'll look it up right well that's where a lock is just a lake in scotland no i get it i get it also i didn't care if that fact was true or not and that was on the more or less thing when i was competing against chas and that hint gave me the fact that whale penises are gigantic and then i said less anyway yeah i mean i'm just this is just a tweet that's

That's where the source is? It's information from tweets on Twitter. It says that in 565 A.D. someone saw a whale penis and was like, it's a scary monster. Hmm. And that turned into the Loch Ness Monster. Sometimes that's how things go, folks. Okay, guys, I'm actually the whale in Loch Ness. That's enough out of you.

I think there might... If any one of those cryptids exists, I think it's one of the water ones. because there are things that we don't know about in the water if any existed it would be the water i can see a mermaid i can see a mermaid no like a half human half i don't think it'd be half human i think it could be like a humanoid like fish no it'd be ugly probably it wouldn't look pretty it would look like wet sharp teeth but it would look oh that i could see that being a mermaid You know what I mean? It'd be smooth.

It'd be just one step above fish and three steps below human. It'd be like, oh, but I get it. I'll be honest. You want the answer that no one likes? Go. None of these things exist. Oh, what a boring answer. What a bad, boring answer.

It wasn't about that. Zero whims tea. Zero whims tea. These things are all fake, and we would have discovered them if they were real. I'm sorry. What does that have to do with anything I said? I'm just, I'd be the guy who was the guy. Out of the one that you think could exist, what's that answer?

Like, the closest you can get thinking that it could exist. Like something super, super uninteresting. Like a species of fish that we thought was extinct. Oh, it turns out it's not. That's so boring. Nothing special. That doesn't count as what I'm saying. It's probably gray and blue like every other fish in the ocean.

It's not special. Jack, this guy stinks. No whims tea No whims tea Hell whimsy tea How long we been going? I don't know What did the timer start at?

36 I don't know what it started at though That's a good question We'll do one more We'll do one more We'll get out of here Well this This one is relevant

And insider knowledge Out of our stream But also A real question Would you rather go On a safari Or go on a cruise? I see

I mean, just go on a cruise is so much better now. I mean, a safari would be really cool. Like, again, assuming all these things, the cruise ship doesn't sink. The safari is not attacked by an animal. Okay. But isn't a safari just like a half-day thing even? A cruise is like a week long. I think a safari could be like a full, you know, you really go through it all.

Now I'm spending several days in the jungle. Well, it's more, yeah, Savannah. Also, no, safari's not one day, you know. Oh, this is where the rhinos stay. So we're going to see the rhinos where the elephants stay on the other side of like the savannah. So we're going to go there tomorrow. It's like the coolest zoo ever.

I'm picking Cruz. No, I don't think it's the coolest zoo ever. I think the zoo is the coolest zoo ever because I can see all the animals in one day and they're behind glass. Yeah, but you can't. But but all of you ever go to the zoo and you go, oh, they all look sad. I'll be honest. They all look a little sad.

I don't I don't care about that at all. You think you go to the savannah and you're like, wow, that lion, that zebra getting its ass eaten looks happy. no animals happy who's happy well I'm just saying it just seems a little I don't know

no I agree the zoo is a very very depressing place Danny honestly but that's because of the people that go there like there's a lot of

Danny's there no it's because of the animals I don't give a shit about who's there it's because the bear isn't like a thing

and there's like a huge wall that's painted to look like the outside and it's just a wall he's in the Truman show they don't know

they don't know nothing yes they do they definitely do they don't know nothing they definitely and a lot of zoos are like done in a somewhat ethical way because the animals can't be released or whatever but still i don't know i would love to go on a safari that's a very but over a cruise yeah i mean yeah like i mean a cruise is obviously a cruise is great but at the end of the day it's just like another basic like basic bitch vacation you know is it a disney like if you like if you go on five cruises you're you're they're all gonna

blend together in your mind. It's not going to stand out. A safari will be awesome. You're going to have a fantastic time on all five of them. I don't know if this is a hot take. If you've seen one animal, you've seen them all. They all act the same. I'm going to go for the more

once-in-a-lifetime experience, which I think is a really cool safari. I also don't want to have to take a bunch of shots to go to a place to see an animal take a shit. I don't care at all. Turner's taking it to the extreme, but he's honestly right like if you've seen a chimpanzee you've seen a bonobo if you've seen this wolf you've seen this wolf and this will like it's it gets pointless at a at a certain point thank you jt i

appreciate that i appreciate that all right one more quick one because i thought this one was good too would you rather be the only human in the world and everyone else is a cat or would you rather be the only human in the world and everyone else is a dog antonio answer for inspired by Antonio's hatred for cats? All right, well, I'll just answer for JT. That might be JT's actual heaven. You see, I think this is an interesting one because I think...

I would have so much fun. Oh, man. I don't know. Oh, we know. He's holding that in. I think... You're allergic to cats. And dogs.

I think the dogs... This guy sucks. I think the dogs rely on companionship more. and so like every dog would be trying to just like like would be fighting for you essentially i feel like the cats would be much more of a you know just like let it let it be worlds you know what i'm saying i don't know i don't know lennon the both worlds will smell like piss this world smells like piss like i feel like the i feel like the the dogs would would reverse uh domesticate and become packs of wolves.

That's definitely what would happen. That has essentially happened in Australia. That's definitely what would happen. Or no, in Africa. But also, wouldn't the cats become like lions or something? Or tigers? I think they would just like chill with each other. I'm picturing Cat Cafe.

Picturing Cat Cafe. Danny, you'll be sneezing walking through life the entire time. Well, I would just take all the world's clarity and I'd be fine. Straight dogs are more likely to chase you than straight cats. I think it'd be a more dangerous world with if everybody was a dog. Yeah, but it'd be like Minecraft. You know, if you collect a bunch of dogs and you have 10 of them, no other dogs won't mess with you. You got 10 dogs.

Oh, they'll be dog. There'll be dog fights. Yeah, there'll be cat fights, too. Yeah. And cat fights are loud. Dude, there was a cat yesterday. Two cats banging outside this. Dude, bad.

Bad. I was chat was here. I don't know if anybody was in here. They were hearing it. I was like, it was loud. It was loud as shit. Was anybody in here yesterday? I've heard that before.

Chat. What is that? Can't confirm it. It was insane. It was the loudest cat banging I've ever heard. Cats bury their poop. Honestly, that point alone is like a great point. Dogs give a little kick.

Oh, please. Yeah, what do you mean? If they're on a beach, maybe. they're on a beach or like dirt i'll say they definitely don't bury the poop as well but uh i'm still picking dogs it'd be cooler it'd be nicer even although also what are we talking about cats because like lions and tigers still there no that's what i was wondering are wolves still around small cats house cats everybody's a house cat and everybody's a house dog okay yeah but the house dog this like a house would be a pit bull so that means pit bulls are still around

Yeah, yeah. All different kinds of breeds of cats and dogs still. All right. A million or so pipples, wild pipples running around. I'm probably cooked. The dog kick is performative. It is performative. House cats and house dogs.

Are we hating on pipples now? Honestly, yeah. Oh, my God. Stop, stop, stop. You're going to make everybody upset. For sure, actually. I think pipples are cute. They're not the cutest.

He's a liar, Chad. He doesn't think that. He's such a performative guy. No, I do. You think pipples are cute? Yeah, I don't want them anywhere near me, but I think they're cute. Pitbulls are ugly as shit, and everybody knows it. Wow.

They're definitely not ugly. My dog was a Pitbull. Was he? Dexter, yeah. What? He was a mix. He was a mix. He was a Pitbull and Boxer.

Wait, what am I thinking of? Am I not thinking about Pitbull? No, I think you're thinking of Pitbull. The pure Pitbulls are a little... I'm thinking about the one that looks like a guy that won Arnold Schwarzenegger's competition. Which dog's that? Oh, I mean, that could be like a super muscle-bound Pitbull, I guess. Pitbull dog.

but they're uh they're they're they're definitely like people people you're not gonna like this they are definitely little more dangerous slash aggressive than other dogs this dog let me see i'm talking about this dog yeah people oh yeah no that's crazy no that's crazy i love that they're too dangerous i love that this one looks like it ran a gang in prison incorrect incorrect Oh, God, we're getting incorrect over here. This is like what people did with sharks. They're like, the pendulum swung so far that everyone's terrified of sharks, so then the pro-shark people come in and just lie the other way.

And they go, actually, sharks are the nicest animals in the world. Actually, a shark will give you a bouquet of flowers if you meet it. My dog was a pitbull, nicest dog on earth. They are bred to rip each other to shreds. So you've got to be careful. Dexter was a pitbull? He was half pitbull, half boxer. Dude, he had the dog of a pitbull, and he boxed?

He boxed. Crazy, dude. What a dog. That dog was a fighter. All right, sorry for the dog. I hear the pitbull people. Forget about this. We get it for the dog slander.

We get it. It's not like that. I'm just saying that dog's dangerous, and I see it walking around, and I see a 3'7", 40-pound person walking in. I'm like, this dog's going to cause us both problems. That's what I'm saying. You don't need something to walk around where if it decided to run away, you cannot stop it with all your force.

I just don't like that. I'm sorry. It doesn't make any sense to me. That's me. I'm still choosing the world of dogs. Oh, I love a wiener dog. Love a wiener dog. Love a wiener dog.

Love the pictures of the mini wiener dogs and hot dog buns. I love the ones that are so long that their stomach almost touches the ground when they walk. It's very funny. And they bounce like this kind of. What about dashhounds? It's adorable. Dashhounds have the really long ears. Sometimes they step on them when they're walking because their ears are so long.

Those are the sad ones, right? They look sad, kind of. Yeah, a little bit. Because I think that one in the Disney film is. Oh, my God. Oh, it's so cute. Look at that dog. So cute.

That's the cutest dog ever. See, and then you see a Dash Hound, and then you look at a picture of a pipple. Oh, no, not Dash Hound. Basset Hound, I'm thinking of. I think Dash Hound is just a wiener dog, I think. Yeah, I think it is a wiener dog. You know what, dogs? Oh, yeah, that Basset Hound, that's stepping on those ears.

That thing looks like it has seen some shit. I'm sorry for this controversial opinion, but I think Whippet's dogs, I think they look very ugly. Whippet dogs? Whippet dogs? Whippet dogs. Yeah. Is that what they're called? Whippets?

Don't get Jason excited. Whippet dog? Yeah, type in the whippet. That's not how you say it? Yeah, that's how my family says it. It's just something I picked up. It's a dachshund. I know.

I think that's an ugly dog. Oh, yeah. It's too skinny. Let me see that. That's an ugly-ass dog. Oh, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Which one's the Resident Evil dog? Doberman? Doberman. That's a cool dog. That's a scary dog. That's a scary-ass dog, though. Same thing with Pipples. But that's it.

The Resident Evil dog. Resident Evil. The Resident Evil dog is scary as shit. I like Dobermans. I love Dobies. They're very pretty. I don't think I'm saying anything too hot. I don't think these are hot takes.

I get you love dogs. I don't think it's hot takes. All right. Well, I guess before you go, best dog breed. Best dog breed? I'm going to have to go basic bitch here and go golden retriever. Oh, I agree. That's probably the right answer.

That's probably the right answer. You are a basic bitch. I agree, though. Let me go dog breeds. dog breeds let me just refresh they're just they're so goofy oh i'll tell you what even though it's like the worst kind of dog health-wise uh a pug a pug is adorable to me i think health wise they're very yeah they have breathing problems yeah i got breathing problems a pomeranian is very cute but i heard they shed oh a corgi with that fat ass all right corgis do have

fat asses i'll stick with uh i'll stick with my pitbull my dog was a pitbull i'll take pitbull i'll tell you the chat going crazy on me for my answer i'll tell you another ugly ass dog uh the the toy story dog the bull terrier that's an ugly ass dog oh yeah those dogs are what is it bull terrier the terrier yeah the target dog spot oh that's it that's what that is yeah oh that's That dog's very, very ugly. It's an ugly-ass dog. The toy store, ugly. So ugly.

Oh, no, you agree with that, Chad. Yeah, that's disgusting. You know why Chad agrees with that? It's because what JT said about the shark thing and the bulldogs, pit bulls, whatever it is, swung so far. But you could say that dog's ugly. Whoever says a pit bull isn't ugly, you can't say that dog's ugly. Beagle's a great answer as well. Rotties are cute.

Rottweilers are cute. Beagles are very cute. Bananas. My dad had a Rottweiler. They had to hide me in the bathroom every time they fed it, and it would just run and slam into the bathroom. Oh, my God. Yeah, some dogs get weird about food. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, this became the dog podcast. Yeah, this became the doggy boys. Yeah, my favorite. Not right, not what I meant.