Pints With Aquinas - 88: Aquinas' 4 ways to overcome lust

Episode Date: January 9, 2018

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Welcome to Pints with Aquinas. I'm Matt Fradd. Before I tell you what we're going to be talking about today, I want to let you know when the next Pints with Aquinas live stream will be for our Patreon supporters. It'll be on the 16th of this month, January, at 9pm. The 16th of January at 9pm. That's 9pm Eastern Standard Time. That's a Tuesday night. So if you've been thinking about supporting Pints with Aquinas on Patreon, now's the time to do it, please. So we can all get together, have a drink and have a chat. It'll be really fun. 9pm, 16th of January. That's Eastern Standard Time. So mark your calendars. If you could sit down over a pint of beer with St. Thomas Aquinas and ask him any one question, what would it be? In today's episode, we're going to ask Thomas how to overcome lust. And he's actually going to give us four different ways on how to do this.

It is so good to have you back here at Pints with Aquinas, the show where you and I pull up a bar stall next to the angelic doctor to discuss theology and philosophy. This is a kind of a, I don't know, interesting question. It's a personal question. You're struggling with lust. Maybe you're struggling today with pornography. Maybe fornication.

Maybe masturbation. Maybe adultery. Maybe prostitution. I don't know what you're struggling with because I don't know you. But suppose you were to saddle up, you know, on the bar bench next to Aquinas and quietly say to him, listen, I'm really, really struggling with lust. How do I overcome it? Well, Aquinas actually gives four ways on how to do that, four ways on how to overcome lust. But before we get into today's very practical and helpful topic, I wanted to let everybody know that we have just released some awesome Pints with Aquinas gear.

About three or so months ago, you'll remember, I had on sale t-shirts, sweaters of Pints with Aquinas. They are super good, super high quality, and a lot of you bought them and loved them. And since that time, since I've stopped selling them, everyone's been tweeting me and emailing me and saying, could you please put them back up? And so I've done that. So if you go to my Twitter account, Instagram account, if you go to pintswithaquinas.com, everywhere, I'll be blasting a link for these things. So on sale, what we have is a Pints with Aquinas t-shirt, a Pints with Aquinas hoodie, because a bunch of you asked for that. Pints with Aquinas just sweatshirt looks super cool. That's the one I

bought. And a Pints with Aquinas women's premium tee. So I had different choices when I was selecting these t-shirts. I could have chosen the cheap t-shirt and made more profit, but I don't want to do that because I want you guys to have the best quality you can get. Nothing frustrates me more than when I buy a t-shirt. I'm like, I don't really want to wear this. It doesn't feel good. All this stuff is good quality. And so if you buy that, that would really support me right now and Pints with Aquinas. And you would also look awesome. You would have a t-shirt slash sweater that would say, yes, I'm a nerd, okay, but I know how to party. As of the release of this podcast

today, it's only available for seven days. You only have one week to go and get this sweatshirt, hoodie, you know, women's tee or whatever. So please go get it right now. I'll put a link in the show notes. Go over right away and buy it before they're all gone. That would be a super help to me, and it would be a great conversation starter for everybody around you. I'm not sure if you follow me on social media, but I always retweet when people post photos of themselves wearing this t-shirt or sweater, and it looks super cool. And I actually wear mine all the time, so it's cool. So be sure to check that out. Okay, on to today's topic. How do we overcome lust? This comes from a reflection that St. Thomas Aquinas wrote on the commandment, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife. And of

course, that goes both ways. If you're a woman struggling with lust, this will also apply to you, of course. And the word that Aquinas uses is concupiscence. Concupiscence, or sometimes it's pronounced concupescence. Okay. Now, he might not realize this, but in its most basic meaning, concupiscence means a yearning of the person for the good. But in a more strict and specific way in which the word is used, it usually means a yearning or a desire for the lower appetites that are contrary to reason. However, it seems to be applied whenever people talk about concupiscence, including Thomas Aquinas here, they're talking about lust in particular. So what are some ways that we can overcome lust? Well, the four ways that Aquinas gives, let me just say what they are, and then we'll go into each of them individually.

And then what I want to do after going through these four ways is share with you seven powerful quotes from St. Josemaria Escriva that will motivate you in your, you know, desire to be sexually pure. So please stick around to that. And then of course, as always, we'll do some Q&A. Okay. So here's what Aquinas, here are the four things. Number one, flee the external occasion. Number two, don't give an opening to thoughts that might lead you down you know the road to to acting out uh these are my words not his but that's my summary third persevere in prayer and fourth make sure you're busying yourself with wholesome occupations now i just read those four things and maybe you're sitting there today and you're a little disappointed Because you've heard these before

You know, I think, I can fall into this trap as well I think many of us out there are looking for a silver bullet We're looking for a piece of advice that we've never heard before I mean, this is why when you think about it There are advertisements all throughout the night on American television Probably on Australian television as well Where they're advertising these quick fixes to your weight problems, right? You get this pill and it'll make you thin. You wear this, I'm not sure if you've seen this,

it's kind of ridiculous. You can strap this ab belt around you and just click on and somehow that'll give you amazing abs. I'm not sure if you've seen it or not, but I've seen these advertisements where some bloke is eating potato chips and he just clicks on and he's watching television and somehow this is going to get him in shape. We love that stuff. And we love that stuff because we've tried the hard way. Well, we say we've tried the hard way. Very often, it's not that we've tried this time-tested wisdom. Really, what we've done is we've found it too difficult, haven't tried it, and then looked for some other option. But I think even though you've heard these four pieces of advice before, there's a reason for that. And that's because they actually work when you put them into practice. Okay. So please open your

mind to these four pieces of wisdom, even though you've heard it before, because I think, as I say, it's not that they don't work, it's that very often we don't listen to them, because it requires effort. All right, before we get to the first one, I need to have a drink of my coffee. Oh, out of my beautiful Pints with Aquinas mug, by the way, Pints with Aquinas beer stein. By the way, all of y'all who are given $20 a month, I know I told you I'll send you a Pints with Aquinas beer stein. They just came in last week and we've shipped them all to you. So, hey, you're welcome. We ship them as we get them. So, some of you had to wait. So, thanks for your patience. All right. Here's what Aquinas says. We must realize that the avoidance of concupiscence demands much labor. Let's just

stop there for a second. That kind of goes to the point I just made.ence demands much labor. Let's just stop there for a second. That kind of goes to the point I just made. It demands much labor. Yeah, it demands much labor. Why does it demand much labor? He says this, for it is based on something within us. Not something without us, something within us. And then he says, it is as hard as trying to capture an enemy in one's own household. However, this desire can be overcome in four ways. I think that's a really powerful analogy. When you talk about this enemy in one's own household, perhaps we could think of a spy in the enemy camp, and it's not really easy to detect because this spy appears to be on our side. That is, it appears to be for our good. And so it's a lot more difficult to detect him, to bind him,

to overcome him than it is the enemy that's rushing towards us from without. And I think this is a reason in our day and age, you find many people getting very angry about the external world and what's taking place in the external world. You hear everyone talking about changing the world, changing the world, you know, but there's very little talk about change yourself, grow up, become responsible, you know. Do you know how to make your bed in the morning? Do you say your morning prayers? Do you brush your teeth twice a day? Do you exercise at least on a regular basis or at all? Get your own house in order and then talk about the external world. Because the way we're going to make this world a more beautiful place is by us becoming more beautiful people. But for many of us, we don't like the

effort that's required of that. It's much easier to point at whoever, Donald Trump, right, CNN, these people on Twitter, whoever it is, and say, you're the bad guy. Now, these people might need to correct themselves as we all do. But my point here is simply that it takes a lot less effort on our part to point the finger and say, you change, than to look within ourself and say, I need to change. So I think this is the very first thing that has to happen if someone wants to overcome their tendency to lust or to engage in impure acts, okay? It's your problem. It's your problem. Maybe a ton of stuff has led you to this point. Maybe you were exposed to porn when you were a kid and that's really

tragic. Maybe you want to blame the porn industry. Maybe you want to blame easy accessibility to porn and whatever. Why doesn't the government regulate this or something? I'm not sure. It's your fault. You grow up. You need to change. It's your fault. Do you feel me accusing you? Because I am, right? Just as I accused myself. I am the one that needs to change. You are the one that needs to change. And if we keep blaming everyone else, you won't grow in this. This won't happen. So that's Aquinas' first thing is to realize this will demand much labor. This will demand much labor. And this reminds me of an amazing quotation for the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2339, where it talks about chastity.

Chastity is that virtue which enables us to integrate our sexuality. And it says this, chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery, which is a training in human freedom. Again, the virtues lead us to freedom. They don't enslave us. They don't make us become the sorts of people we don't want to be because we don't get to do the things we want to do. No, virtues lead us to freedom. The virtuous man is the free man, huh? You've never met an alcoholic who said, I'm free because I can drink whenever I want. And if he did say that, he's an idiot. He's wrong.

Okay. Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery, which is a training in human freedom. Because it does, it demands much effort. And you might think to yourself, well, okay, if it demands much effort, what's my alternative? Here's the alternative. The alternative isn't quick fix solutions. They don't work. The alternative says the catechism is clear. Listen to this. This is golden. Either man or woman governs his passions and defines peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. Those are your options, right? So, Aquinas is saying this is going to demand some effort. You need to realize that. But the alternative is that you become unhappy. So, you can choose, you realize this, yeah? This is a choice. Decide what you

want. Would you like to give free reign to your sexual appetites and become unhappy? That's within your power. You're welcome to do it. But if you don't want to do it, then realize that this is going to demand much labor of you and it's difficult. All right, let's look at these four things. Number one, he says, first, by fleeing the external occasions such as, for instance, bad company, and in fact, whatever may be an occasion for this sin. And then he quotes Sirach where it says, do not gaze not upon a maiden lest her beauty be a stumbling block to you. Do not look around you in the ways of the city, nor wander up and down in the streets. Turn away your face from a woman dressed up and do not gaze upon another's beauty. I imagine by dressed up,

he might mean, well, the author of scripture might mean a prostitute. For many have perished by the beauty of a woman whereby lust is enkindled as a fire. That's from Sirach chapter nine. And he says, and again, and here's a quotation from Proverbs, can a man hide fire in his bosom and his garments not burn? That is awesome. Can a man hide fire in his bosom and his garments not burn? That is awesome. You get a stick, you light it on fire. And then what you do is you wrap slowly your coat around it and you try and hide the fire under your jacket. Good luck with that. And Aquinas continues, and thus Lot was commanded to flee. In Genesis, it says, neither stay you in all the country about. Get out. Now, I want to stop and make a quick point here because the idea that

women don't struggle with lust is false. And that's not what Aquinas is saying, of course, but it's a common misconception. It's false and it's hurtful. So if you're the sort of person out there who says women don't struggle with porn, women don't struggle with masturbation, they don't struggle with lust, this is a guy thing, would you please stop it for the love of truth and for the love of your fellow sisters? Because it's really isolating to be told that you shouldn't struggle with something that you actually struggle with. You know, lust, you know, isn't just a guy's issue, it's a girl's issue as well. All right. And this, even though this is being directed towards a man, you can direct it towards yourself as a woman. So this first thing, flee external occasions, get out of bad company. Now, this is such a simple

piece of advice, but for many of us, we don't do it. We spend time with people who talk like a sewer. Sewers don't talk, but what issues forth from their mouths is what might issue forth from a sewer, if you catch my drift. We need to flee bad company. This is something I found really difficult when I came back from Rome in the year 2000. I struggle with lust a lot, like many of us. I still struggle with it now. But I came back and I remember at that time when I came back, those stupid movies, what were they called? American Pie, you remember? I found it so difficult not to watch these because these were just coming out. Everybody was talking about them and I did not have the courage to resist them, right? I ended up watching them to my detriment, right? You might even call these particular movies bad company. You know, a lot of Netflix movies, shows involve so much stuff that's pornographic nowadays. They just are. And in a sense, Netflix might keep us company, sometimes more than friends.

And so, when Aquinas says, flee the external occasions, such as, for instance, bad company, that doesn't mean just individuals. It does mean that. It also means anything that would lead us to sin. What Aquinas is talking about here is triggers. That's a word that we use, the jargon that we use for those things, which cause us to go down the road to commit an act that we're ashamed about. And so what are your triggers? That's what Aquinas is saying. What are your emotional triggers? What are your physical triggers? Flee them. Flee them. Don't hang out with them. Flee them. And I think sometimes people might fall into the trap of thinking, well, I have to hang out with these people because I'm trying to lead them to

Jesus. Yeah. Well, there's nothing super inspiring about you hanging out with a bunch of drunk people fornicating. Like that makes you look like a loser, if anything else. You know, like, you should hang out with them. You should, you know, urge them not to sin. But hanging out with people who are engaging in sin isn't a cool way to evangelize. You know, because if you're hanging out with them thinking, well, I'll just be a good influence on them, but you never actually call them to repentance, what you're doing is maybe in a way, it seems like you're justifying their sin because you notice Christ never did that. He did eat with prostitutes and sinners, but he didn't probably like party with them while they were getting hammered and

not say anything. Think about the woman caught in adultery. What does he say to her? He says two things. I do not condemn you. And then he says, go sin no more. For many of us, we think evangelization in this context means we'll just hang out with friends and not condemn them because we shouldn't judge people. Yet we forget that Jesus Christ also said to this woman, sin no more. Like both are required. Like, yeah, we don't want to judge people. We don't know their heart. We don't know what they've been through, but we can judge particular actions and say these are sinful and therefore ought to be avoided and say sin no more. But we ought to worry about ourselves because when we hang out with bad company, we end up engaging in bad things. There's that old saying, which we might hate because it's so true,

show me your friends and I will show you who you are. So let me just ask you, if you struggle with lust, maybe you struggle with fornication. Okay. That means sex outside of marriage, basically. Maybe you struggle with adultery. Maybe it's pornography, masturbation. What are those things that lead you down the road to engage in these behaviors? Flee from them. Don't, don't, here's a word that might sound silly, but don't pussy concupiscence, is by not giving an opening to thoughts which of themselves are the occasion of lustful desires. And this must be done by mortification of the flesh. And then he quotes Paul in Corinthians where he says, I chastise my body and bring it into subjection. So you'll notice there's a progression here. At first, we have the external occasion. And next, we have the thought.

And this is always how it works, right? We encounter some stimulus, some trigger, and then we begin thinking, don't we? We begin justifying what we're about to do. We begin saying things like, well, nobody's home. I could just look at this real quick. Or, you know, it's not like looking at porn has made me a rapist. That's stupid. So look, I'll just go watch a bit of porn. It won't be long. I'm not going to go look at the super sick stuff anyway. So it's totally okay. And then we start giving ourselves permission to do this. So Aquinas again says the second way is by not giving an

opening to thoughts, which of themselves are the occasion of lustful desires. Now, there's a phrase in Catholic spirituality when it comes to combating temptation, that's called ageri contra, ageri contra, which means to go against. And the basic idea is if you're being tempted to act viciously, right? To commit vice, right? So perhaps you're committed to pride, sorry, tempted to pride. To go against means to act, when you're tempted to pride in that very moment, act against that. So do something that would humble you, in other words. If you're tempted to be greedy, go give that food away to somebody else, give them the biggest slice, give money away. This is true with every sin except lust. So if I'm tempted to be greedy, I can give something

away. If I'm tempted to pride, I can humble myself. If I'm tempted to laziness, I can choose to get up and do something not lazy. But with lust, it's different. Because if you're tempted to lust, think about it. What do you do? You can't go out and be pure. Like, I'm going to go do something pure. Like sexually pure. What does that mean?

Right? That's why the spiritual masters say, flee, flee, flee. Don't dialogue with it. Dialoguing with this thought, right? Trying to overcome it logically, thinking, you know, sometimes that's a really bad idea because it's like engaging in a dialogue with Satan. Good luck. You're not going to win. And that's why you'll notice Christ didn't do that when he was tempted. Rather, he retorted with sacred scripture, didn't he? So again, don't give an opening to thoughts, okay? The third has to do with prayer.

And again, I said that there's a logical flowing from external object to thought. Now he's talking about desire, right? And so this is why we have to persevere in prayer. And that's Aquinas' third suggestion, persevere in prayer. Aquinas says, and quoting the scriptures, it says, unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it. And then he quotes wisdom. He says, I knew that I could not otherwise be continent, I knew that I could not otherwise be continent, except God gave it. All right.

Continent meaning, again, this chastity, this choosing to avoid concupiscence. Again, he quotes Matthew, this kind of sin is not cast out, save by prayer and fasting. I love, don't you love Aquinas? He is so biblical. He is so biblical. He is so biblical. All right, the first thing he does there is just give you three scripture quotes. And then he says this, all this is not unlike to a fight between two persons, a fight between two persons, one of whom you desire to win, the other to lose.

And then he says, you must sustain the one and withdraw all support from the other. So also between the spirit and the flesh, there is a continual combat. Now, if you wish the spirit to win, you must assist it by prayer. And likewise, you must resist the flesh by such means as fasting for by fasting, the flesh is weakened. This is really good advice. All right, let's think of a thought experiment. It's going to be super bizarre and whatever. Imagine two people are fighting, okay? Actually, let's use a different analogy because this might be less weird. There are two dogs fighting and you want one of them to win. Suppose you had the power to feed them or starve them, and you wanted one particular dog to win and the other to lose. Then you would feed that dog. You would give it what it needed, and you would not give the other what it needed to be strong. And eventually, in this thought

experiment, okay, one would defeat the other, all right? The one that you fed would win, the one that you starved wouldn't. Let's think of a different analogy with two people, okay? This is a little more bizarre. Suppose you got into a cage with a UFC fighter, you would definitely lose. Unless, I don't know, unless you're like a UFC fighter listening to this, you would almost certainly lose. Like if I got into a ring with a UFC fighter right now, it would take about 10 seconds and I would be completely, no, it wouldn't. It would take one second. I would be in the fetal position, sucking my thumb, begging for him not to punch me in the face. Okay. Now, keeping in mind that this is a thought

experiment, what would happen if I could feed myself, right, and strengthen myself, but he had no sustenance, he had no water, and he had no food. Give it a day, he would still kick my butt. Give it two days, maybe he'd still kick my butt. Give it a month, right, or give it whatever, three weeks, you would defeat him. And this is what Aquinas is talking about, right? He says, all this is not unlike to a fight between two persons, one of whom you desire to win, the other to lose, right? So there is this dueling, isn't there, between the flesh and the spirit, because there's a part of you that knows that you shouldn't act this way. And not just shouldn't because it's some arbitrary law, you shouldn't because it's not good. It's not true. It's not beautiful,

and it doesn't make you happy. And so, what Aquinas is saying is, okay, feed that part of you that you wish to win. Starve that part of you you wish to lose. Pray, right? Go before God morning and night and pray. If nothing else, what this does is it trains you in faithfulness and perseverance. Okay. I fell out of bed this morning. I didn't really fall out of bed this morning, but what I mean is I was completely exhausted. Last night, I had a terrible night's sleep. For whatever reason, I couldn't sleep. I was up for like three hours in the middle of the night. My son ran into our room about six in the morning. I was so exhausted. I really did not want to pray. And I forced myself just to do three, what we call in the East, metanies, three bows. I turned out of bed and I bowed to the ground. And I'm not saying

this to brag, okay? For goodness sake, some of you, I hope, aren't going to accuse me of that. Or look, who knows? The heart's a wicked thing. Maybe I am doing it to brag. So even more reason for God to be merciful to me, a sinner. But I share this as an example. Okay. I just did three bowels and I said, God, be merciful to me a sinner. God, be merciful to me a sinner. God, be merciful to me a sinner. Now, usually I'd pray a lot more right then and there, but I just, I was exhausted. So I went out, had a coffee, sat with the kids and I prayed later. But just forcing yourself to pray is a way to do something you don't want to do. to pray is a way to do something you don't want to do. And you know what? In a time of temptation, what you don't want to do is not sin. And so, forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do in little things will strengthen your will when it comes to other temptations. And so, praying,

right? Praying in morning, praying at night, receiving our Lord in holy communion. That's strengthening that part of us that we want to win. And then starving that part of us we want to lose. So, if you are someone who struggles with lust, watching Game of Thrones is probably one of the most stupid things you could do, okay? Because it contains pornography within it, obviously. I'm not saying that Game of Thrones is pornography. I'm saying Game of Thrones contains pornography. I was talking to a friend last night, and he told me about a friend of his who goes to a certified sex addiction therapist, which is awesome. He goes to a 12-step group, which is awesome. And this friend said to my

friend, I'm just going to go home and watch some Game of Thrones. What are you thinking? Like when you engage in these behaviors, they fuel that bad part of you, right? They feel that bad dog, if you will, or the UFC fighter. No, no, no. What you want to do, strengthen that part of you in prayer and fasting and starve that part of you that is rebelling against the spirit. And so choose to fast, right? Once a week. One of the things I like to do, and I just offer this because maybe you're weak like me. If you're totally stronger than me, then God bless you. I'm sure there's many of you that are like this, who fast once a week or twice a week on bread and water. I don't do that, at least not typically. I like to fast from things in the moment. So if I want a second cup of coffee,

maybe I'll deny myself that second cup of coffee. If I want to, and here's another way I might fast. If I'm driving down the road and I see like a beautiful woman jogging or something, I'll be tempted to look at her. Well, I might not look at her. I'll just make that conscious choice. You know, I offer these little sacrifices up throughout the day. Now I know, woe is me, right? I'm a total martyr for not looking at the cute girl running. But the point is, put it this way, if I can't say no to that second cup of coffee, if I can't not look at that woman, how am I ever going to avoid falling into sexual sin? I think that's a better way of putting it. I think I've heard Christopher West put it that way too. If you can't say no to that next Oreo,

Christopher West put it that way too. If you can't say no to that next Oreo, you're not going to be able to say no to the temptation to look at porn. Now, I do want to say something else here because Aquinas lived in a day and age where Pornhub didn't exist. And so I think there is a legitimate sense in which a person can be addicted to looking at pornography. Now, if you are listening to me and you think you're actually addicted, that is to say, you cannot stop looking at it. You have to kind of white knuckle it even just to get through a week or a few days. You see the adverse consequences in your life and yet you keep binging on this stuff. If you find that you're escalating, you're watching more porn, you're watching more deviant types of porn, or you're starting to act out in different ways, then what you absolutely need is a certified sex addiction therapist. What you absolutely

need is a 12-step group, okay? And you're going to need more than just fasting. In fact, if you're someone who struggles with an addiction to pornography, I don't think fasting from legitimate pleasures is necessarily a good idea, right? Because like drinking coffee, having a warm shower, sleeping in a comfortable bed, having a cigarette with a friend, these are legitimate pleasures that are not sinful. If you deprive yourself of these legitimate communal pleasures, okay, drinking coffee with a friend, having a cigarette or whatever, if you deny yourself those legitimate pleasures, then you might find yourself becoming more and more agitated, which might very well lead you

to look at pornography. So, let me just say this. If you're struggling with pornography addiction or sex addiction or something like that, you need to be seeing a therapist. Hopefully, you're seeing a spiritual director. So work this out with him because it's different for every person. But my advice would be deny yourself the pleasure of YouTube. Deny yourself the pleasure of Netflix. Deny yourself the pleasure of social media. Because these are not communal pleasures that give us life like these other things. These are time-sucking things that we usually do in order to dissociate. And very often, it's after binging on Netflix or binging on social media that we end up finding ourselves on a porn site.

So, fast from those things. That would be my suggestion. Okay, here is the fourth and final way that Aquinas gives. And that is to keep oneself busy with wholesome occupations. He quotes Sirach, Idleness hath taught much evil. Idleness hath taught much evil. much evil. Idleness hath taught much evil. Again, this was the iniquity of Sodom, your sister,

pride, fullness of bread, and abundance, and the idleness of her. St. Jerome says, here he quotes St. Jerome, be always busy in doing something good so that the devil may find you ever occupied. Isn't that cool? Be always busy in doing something good so the devil may find you ever occupied. Isn't that cool? Be always busy and doing something good so the devil may find you ever occupied. And then Aquinas says, now study the scriptures. It's the best of all occupations, as St. Jerome tells us. Love to study the scriptures and you will not love the vices of the flesh. That's a good quote. If you're listening to me out there, you want to tweet that, I will retweet it at points with Aquinas. Love to study the scriptures and you will not love the vices of the flesh. So this idea of busying yourself with wholesome occupations. Now, sometimes wholesome sounds super boring to us because when I think wholesome, I think of like,

this is wholesome entertainment. And to me, that's synonymous with boring, you know, crappy B-grade Christian entertainment Christian entertainment. But that's not what wholesome means. Substitute wholesome, if you will, with good, true, and beautiful occupations. So, in other words, it's not enough to do our best to resist evil things. We should plunge ourselves into good things, beautiful things, lovely things. I'm thinking of that scripture verse in Philippians. If there's any truth in this, any good in this, meditate? Lovely things. I'm thinking of that scripture verse in Philippians. If there's any truth in this, any good in this, meditate on these things. So immerse yourself in the beautiful. Now, if you're like me, you've probably been immersing yourself in sorts of

entertainment that have been unsophisticated and unbeautiful. Maybe you much prefer to read some stupid magazine or blog site than to read classical literature. Maybe you much prefer to read some stupid magazine or blog site than to read classical literature. Maybe you much prefer to listen to the latest hit from whoever than listening to beautiful music. I'm not saying don't listen to the latest hit, but like we should force ourselves to love what is beautiful. And I don't think that comes easily because I think it's just like food. If you've accustomed yourself to eating Cheetos and pizza, you're not going to want to eat good meat and vegetables. It'll disgust you. If you eat Skittles every afternoon while you're at work to get a fix, you're not going to want to eat almonds. It's not going to do it for you. But sometimes we have to force ourselves to like, say, almonds or

to like vegetables, even though we don't in the beginning. And I think likewise, there might be sorts of beautiful music that you want to listen to. Like Gregorian chant is beautiful, right? Forcing yourself to listen to Gregorian chant, forcing yourself to read something from, I don't know, I'm a big fan of Tolkien, you know, maybe in the beginning that takes a lot of work, but forcing yourself to do those sorts of things so that you would love the beautiful. So those are the four things that you would love the beautiful. So those are the four things that Aquinas recommends, and I think it's awesome, and I think you should do them. Now, what I want to do is share with you as we wrap up seven quotes to motivate you. And these seven quotes come from St. Jose Maria Escriva.

But before we do, I want to remind you one more time to please go and buy a sweater or t-shirt. They're only on sale for seven more days. They're really good quality. And you would be supporting Pints with Aquinas and me and my family, which I would really appreciate. And you would also be wearing something super cool that would be a super cool conversation starter. It's actually, we designed this image ourself. It's actually Aquinas holding a pint of beer. It's not like the one on iTunes. It's a little different and he's drinking it. It's super cool. It's super simple. It's not like the one on iTunes. It's a little different and he's drinking it. It's super cool. It's super simple. It's really classy and I think you're going to like it.

So again, just click the link in the show notes or go to pintswithaquinas.com and the top blog post there will be all about the t-shirts and sweaters and I would really appreciate it. Okay, let's look at these seven quotes from Jose Maria Escriva to motivate you. All right, let's take a look here. If you're not a big fan of Jose Maria Escriva, you should be because he's incredible. All right, here we go. Seven quotes, and they're all very pithy and tweet worthy. He would have dominated Twitter, Jose Maria Escriva, let me tell you. Number one, purity, they ask, Number one, purity, they ask, and they smile. They are the ones who go on to marriage with worn out bodies and disillusioned souls. How is that for a mic drop? Purity, they ask, and they smile condescendingly. They are the ones who go on to marriage with worn out bodies and disillusioned

souls. And so what he's basically saying here is the same thing the catechism says. You have two choices, right? You can overcome your passions or become unhappy. And those who engage in pornography or fornication or adultery or whatever it might be, don't end up winning. Like this isn't a long-term gain for them. This might be like an immediate gain, makes me feel pleasurable, but it always has consequences and I never end up happy. And isn't this true? Like if you look at porn, you masturbate, as soon as you're done, you feel totally gross. Here's a second quote. And this applies specifically to men. He says, there is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work.

Love it. That is so powerful, right? There's nothing manful or virtuous in giving free reign to your passions. That's what beasts do. How are you different from a cow? No, there is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity, he says. And that crusade, he says, is your work. Here is the third quotation. When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden to you. It will be a crown of triumph. I'm going to ask something that might be a little inappropriate. If you have kids listening, now's a really good time to pause it. I'm going to give you five seconds to do that. Pause it right now if you have kids listening, because I'm going to say something that is maybe a little whatever. Okay, here we go. If you're a guy listening to me right now, because I'm a guy, so let me just talk to a guy.

Look, listen to me. If you were convinced that the next time you masturbated, your penis would fall off of your body, you would probably never masturbate again. Am I right? Like convinced, like if you knew with a hundred percent certainty, I know this is a stupid thought experiment that your penis would literally fall off or you would never get an erection as long as you live. And you were convinced of that. You would probably find a way to decide firmly to lead a clean life. All right. And so would I, and I just share that because I think sometimes as men and as women, we make all these sorts of excuses.

Your children can listen again, by the way. Actually, this is an episode on porn and lust. You probably shouldn't have them listen anyway. Like, we make excuses for our weaknesses. Maybe you're a woman who struggled with porn forever. You're like, I just can't stop. Or maybe you're a guy and you're saying the same thing. No.

Escriver is saying, decide firmly to lead a clean life. And then chastity won't be a burden. It'll be a crown of triumph. Okay, fourthly, he says this, and I mentioned this earlier, when you have sought the company of a sensual satisfaction, what loneliness afterward. Very good. Number five, to defend his purity, St. Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow. St. Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush. St. Bernard plunged into an icy pond. You, what have you done?

Woo-hoo, burn. Love it. Super cool. What have I done? You know, here I am struggling with purity or something like that, and I'm complaining about it. Like, he looks you in the eye, and he treats you with seriousness as a son or a daughter of God, as a brother and sister in Christ. And he just simply says, quit your whinging.

Whinging is an Australian term, sorry. Quit your whining. Right? He says, look, to defend his purity, St. Francis of Sisi, roll in the snow. St. Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, and St. Bernard plunged into an icy pond. What have you done exactly? And you might be like, well, sometimes when I struggle, I try and pray that I don't look at it. No, no, no.

Like, man up. Do something much more awesome than that. All right. Number six. Don't say, says Escriva, that's the way I am. It's my character. He says, no, no, no. It's your lack of character.

Estivere. Be a man. I'll say that again. Don't say that's the way I am. It's my character. It's your lack of character. Estivere. Be a man. Yeah, I think one of the ways we can be a man, be a woman, right? Like be someone strong and virtuous is by making tough decisions. So to go back to that quote a moment ago, where he says, you know, St. Francis did this, St. Bernard did this, St. Benedict did this, what have you done? I cannot understand people who struggle with impurity, who don't have covenant eyes. Covenant eyes is the best accountability and filtering software out there right now. If you don't have it on your phone and your computer and you struggle with porn, what is wrong with you? Honestly, it's like you telling me that you want to run a marathon, but you don't want to buy sneakers. You don't want to eat well. It's like, do you really want

to run a marathon? Maybe you don't. So just a real quick plug for Covenant Rise. I used to work for them. I don't anymore. If you want to get a month of Covenant Rise for free to try it out, which you really, really should, use the promo code FRADD, that's my last name, F-R-A-D-D, and I'll give you a month for free. Seriously, like we have to start making these tough decisions if we want to be free. Don't give me excuses like, well, it's not 100% foolproof. I don't want to have to pay for it. Shut up. That's not as articulate as Escribo. But seriously, like shut shut up. Like, stop being a wimp, right? Stop being a wimp. Be a man. Stop making excuses. Like, do something awesome. So again, it's covenantize.com. Use FRAD, the promo code. You can get it for a month. All right, here's a final

quotation from him. Never talk of impure things or events, not even to deplore them. Look, it's a subject that sticks more than tar. Change the conversation, or if that's not possible, continue, but speaking of the need and beauty of holy purity, a virtue of the men who know what their souls are worth. That's wonderful. I mean, this goes back to what Aquinas said with like fleeing bad company. Okay. That was the very first one, you know, fleeing bad company. Like when people speak impurely, don't, don't revel in it. Don't be like, yeah, it's so bad. I heard that there's some types of this like pornography. And did you hear what happened? No, no, no, no. He says, look, it'll stick more than tar. Change the conversation. And then he's

a realist, right? He's like, if that's not possible, yeah, okay, continue speaking, but instead speak of the need and beauty of holy purity, a virtue of the men who know what their souls are worth. And so I think it's really important, again, that we don't just deplore what is evil, but we celebrate what is good. All right, I hope that's a help. Now let's take some of your questions. good. All right. I hope that's a help. Now let's take some of your questions. All right. If you want to ask me your question, please become a supporter of Pints with Aquinas on Patreon. For whatever you give, I give you lots of stuff in return. One of those things is the ability to ask me questions, which I answer at the end of every show. So let's take a look at a couple of them. The first question here comes from Gregory Warner. He says, how should we as Catholics view video games? Obviously, there are many games

which do have violent abhorrent, even pornographic themes or elements that should be disregarded. I think by disregarded, you mean shunned. But then you say, but it seemed to me that they are often incidental to the nature of video games themselves. There are also many benefits that exist to them, education, creative outlets, storytelling and art, but obviously they can tend to be addictive, should they be seen as something to be avoided or consumed in moderation? I think you already know the answer to this. I think it's probably similar to watching television as well. I think we ought to avoid video games with gratuitous violence or pornographic themes. Absolutely. But I also think that video games can be fun. And I think they're often a lot more fun if you're engaging in them with other people, like as a sort of communal

thing. I heard something really sad recently, and that is that all the new, you know, PlayStations and Xboxes and stuff that are coming out right now, they don't have the option to play like multiplayer in the same room because people don't do that anymore. Apparently everyone plays online. And I thought, wow, that is so, I don't know if that's true or not. You can correct me if it is, but I remember thinking that would be super sad if that were the case, because, you know, one of the things I used to love doing in high school is having friends over and we'd play these video games together. So I think it can be a cool communal activity. They can certainly be a lot of fun. I think it can be a way just to unwind. But as everything, we should engage in things that are good in moderation. And certainly, I think there's a lot of research coming out right now

that's saying that video games can be addictive in a sense. And so we should be aware of that. We should be aware of how we're spending our time, you know, and that's true also with television. That's true with even listening to podcasts. I mean, I don't want to inspire you not to listen to my podcast, but if you're driving right now, and you're only listening to this because you want to distract yourself, maybe turn off the podcast and sit in silence for 20 minutes. Because we don't like sitting in silence. I mean, there's a lot of things that are good that we should still do in moderation. And I think video games can be like that. I also think like, in my opinion, it's okay for video games to be somewhat violent. But I think there's a difference between you playing as the hero versus you playing as the villain, right? Like there are certain video games where you're actually doing violent, awful crimes.

And I think these should absolutely be avoided and you should never let your children play them, let's say. But I think there's a difference between that and let's say like you're a war hero, you know what I mean? And so I'm not against like violence in video games, but I do think gratuitous violence is something different and in my opinion ought to be avoided.

Okay, here's another question from Glenn Dickinson. Hey, Glenn, thanks so much for being a supporter on Patreon. You say, I've been praying the Anima Christi lately. Great prayer. And I've seen two different translations of the closing line. Number one, that with thy saints I may praise thee forever and ever. And two, that with thy saints and angels I may praise thee forever and ever. And two, that with thy saints and angels I may praise thee forever and ever. Question, are angels also saints? It's a good question. The word sanctus in Latin means holy. That's why we say sanctus, sanctus, sanctus in the Latin

mass. So yes is the short answer. Anyone anyone in heaven, we could say is a saint, you know, so that's why sometimes you refer to the mother of God as Saint Mary. We can technically refer to Moses and Elijah, perhaps Adam and Eve, even as saints because they are now holy in heaven, at least that's the understanding of the church. So yes, since angels are holy, we can call them saints. That's why we even refer to Saint Michael, the archangel and so forth. But I think we can also distinguish them because often saints is used for those Christians who are now in heaven or those people who are now in heaven. And so we can differentiate between those and the angels because as you very well know, when we go to heaven, we do not become angels, right? So we

remain different beings from the angels. And therefore, I think it's appropriate to say angels and saints. Let's see here. The next question comes from Ryan, who asks, when will the next Pints with Aquinas live stream be? I'm so glad you asked that. I already mentioned it in the show, but it gives me an opportunity to say it again. On the 16th of January at 9 p.m. Eastern time. On the 16th of January, 9 p.m. Eastern time. Mark your calendars

and we're gonna do like an hour together. I'll answer whatever questions you guys have live. We'll have a drink together. We'll have a chat and we'll all be able to see each other by video. So that'll kind of be fun. Again, that's just for our Patreon supporters. So thank you very much to everybody who supports Pints with Aquinas on Patreon. You are a huge help to me and my family. But again, as I said at the beginning, in the middle of the show this week, we are selling Pints with Aquinas merchandise,

and it would be awesome if you supported Pints with Aquinas by picking up a t-shirt or a hoodie because they're totally awesome and because you'd like to support the show. So again, there'll be a link in the show notes. You can go check them out, see what they look like yourself. And you can just purchase one or two or 20 there. But again, they're only available for seven more days. After that, it's probably going to be a couple of months before I put them on sale again. So don't miss out.

All right. Thank you so much. God bless. And we'll miss out. All right. Thank you so much. God bless. And we'll chat with you next week. my whole life to carry you to carry you and i would give my whole life