Pints With Aquinas - Alcoholism Recovery, Leaving Hollywood, and January 6 (Siaka Massaquoi)

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

Siaka Massaquoi is a versatile actor, producer, and writer. With a passion for storytelling and a knack for engaging audiences, Siaka has also made a mark in the world of podcasts and online media, collaborating with influential voices like JP Sears and The Babylon Bee. Off-screen, Siaka is a devoted husband and father, celebrating his recent milestones with his wife, Charlotte, and their son, Xavier. He brings a unique blend of talent, insight, and charisma to every project he undertakes. 🍺 Get episodes a week early, 🍺 score a free PWA beer stein, and 🍺 enjoy exclusive streams with me!Become an annual supporter at https://mattfradd.locals.com/support 💵 Show Sponsors: Exodus 90: https://exodus90.com/matt Hallow: https://hallow.com/mattfradd  💻 Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattfradd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattfradd Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Pints_W_Aquinas TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pintswithaquinas 👕 Store: https://shop.pintswithaquinas.com/  

As many of you know, Pints with Aquinas is building a new studio and we would love to ask your help to build the studio. It's going to cost at least 38 grand for the electronics and new cameras and lights and things and so paintswithaquinas.com studio if you want to support us because people have said they do want it which is just so lovely. Let's be honest. I'm gonna do it regardless. You support me or not, I'm gonna figure this out. But if you do want to support us, go to www.paintswiththequinus.com slash studio and there's like different levels you can give and we give you free things in return like rosaries and books and things like that. So if you want to help us, we'd really appreciate it. Thanks so much. This is before I woke up. My buddy, my best friend, he goes to the bathroom.

And as he's going back, he hears banging on the door. And he looks out the window and sees a police, you know, sees a law enforcement. So he goes out because he didn't want his sons to wake up. He said, they're holding ARs ready to go. And so he said he opened the door, put his hands out. They pushed the door open, grabbed him, slammed him against the wall. Right there, that window that he looked at, that's where their bed is. So their son, his son now are looking at his dad, their dad with guns

pointed to the back of his head being cuffed. What did they say his dad did wrong? They were just doing a raid. They were just doing a raid. So they need to clear the house of everyone. And when they do that, everyone gets cuffed and taken out of the house. What do you mean hold? You've never told me to do that before. That's a new thing.

I always wait till you finish and I can tell you're getting going. Oh, that's all right. And also we're rolling and I want that. All right. All right, a little prayer. Yeah, let's do it. Glory to Jesus Christ.

We give you thanks and praise for the good work that you have begun and will complete in our lives. We ask you to bless this conversation and help all those who watch this despite our shortcomings be led into a deeper more beautiful Relationship with you. That's a man. Amen. That's a great. That's great. See I've got what a bloody pleasure. Oh, thank you, my friend Can I give you a hand? You know, it's funny. I did a good handshake. Thank you Thank you, right there. Yeah, feel good. No you get it, you gotta be firm, but yet like give room, but not so firm. No, you're not trying to break the hand. I'm not trying to test your manhood in a handshake. I don't really understand that when somebody comes in and they're like, I can break your hand. I'm like, why would you, we just met. Yeah.

Like what Trump did to Putin. Yeah. Well, that's different. That's, that's like, we're just meeting for friends. That's, that's like trying geopolitical like hierarchy. You can, you can let them know we have bigger guns than for friends. That's, that's like trying geopolitical like hierarchy. You can, you can let them know we have bigger guns than you do. That's what that's about. So I'm okay with that. No, this is great, man. I'm so happy. Like I said, in the elevator, uh, my wife and I ran, randomly fell into your shell and, and full disclosure, especially at the time and we were, uh, reading together, we read the New Testament together, you know, as part of like our relationship and, uh, as we were reading together, we read the New Testament together, you know,

as part of like our relationship and as we were reading and we kind of, we've gone to this church, God speak church in thousand notes, Rob McCoy. I don't know if you know Rob McCoy. You'd love Rob. I should get him on the show. He's amazing. And so we had our, we had our thoughts about Catholics, right? And next, you know, we're sitting there watching the show. And one of the things that really got me about the show is two things. One, how directly, how direct you can be yet kind in that directness. Like when someone's wrong, you don't shy away from them being wrong.

But at the same time, it was very, it was just very different. It was the, because I don't usually get confrontational. It wasn't, it wasn't. Um, one I can tell you right now, like, so I don't remember back then, but I could tell you just recently you had, um, you had, um, uh, Klaven on. Yeah. Right. And you guys are talking about, you know, his situation and the sun and all that. And you were, while you weren't pressing him to make a decision, you were,

you were pressing on what the faith says, you know, what the Bible says about that decision and where you are. And I could, personally for me, and I know them and they're great people and then a lot of love and I could see him struggling between what the book says and what the faith is about and his heart for his, his personal heart for his son. So that was very interesting where yet you can have easily gone, Oh, I'm not going to touch it anymore. But you just, it was very gracious. It was very sweet. And I was like, Oh, I appreciate that. First of all,

Claven was just delightful. Oh yeah. He's amazing. He's so kind. That's actually one of the things Josiah says, you know, like you know, like Josiah the producer has a different experience to other people right because People come in they're here to see me to be on the show and it's interesting. I don't speak for Josiah I'll just say that there are some people who barely look at him or acknowledge him Right. Yeah, the big timers the one that big timers Was I not supposed to look at him earlier? Oh, dang it, man. I was trying to show that I was actually big time. My fault. Josiah, forget that I looked at you, brother,

and don't look at me when we're leaving. But look at your eyes. There you go. But Clavin. That's awesome. Yeah. Like Josiah would disagree with Clavin way more than I do, and he'd be a lot more kind of angsty about it I would say but he was he himself was like he was just so kind

He was such a beautiful man. So and I actually told him before he came on the show I need to press you on this and I need to know because I don't want to catch people off guard It's not about getting people. Okay, I don't want people to feel uncomfortable And I also want him to be like to think about it so he can give a response as opposed to a defense Yeah I also want him to be like, to think about it so he can give a response. As opposed to a defense. Cause a lot of times we defend our thing and then if you can give him a chance to have a conversation about it, now you can, sometimes like when you're defending, you just got so used to defending, you forget to really take it aside and like, really look at it for yourself, you know, not saying he has or hasn't.

It's a good practice, I think, to go, Hey, just think about this and then we can talk about it. So I did that with Prager as well. I said, I need to pressure on the, I don't know if you ever watched my, oh yeah, that, that was the one. Oh, cause I remember. Okay. Wow. You just woke me back up. Well that yes, because you were going pretty hard at him on that one. And, uh, and he was, and he's ever Dennis say this before, it's about actions, not thoughts, which is not what the sermon of the Mount was all about. Right. So I mean, you look at what is it, Matthew five, where he starts off and you're just like, well, I can't really get away from, I thought about it. You know,

well, it was just a thought. Well, you know, Jesus said, cut out your own eye is that's how bad it gets. Right? I mean, to me, and correct me if I'm wrong, or what's your take on this? It's like, this is also an example of why we need him and no one is good, no matter how much you follow the law, which he was talking to Jews. He wasn't sitting there talking to, you know, Gentiles who were out there worshiping different pagan gods. Right? So in that, it was so controversial because, and I've seen this with a lot of my Jewish friends, the law is really important and it should be, but yet the law then becomes the justification, which is to me, that's what Jesus was, was, was getting out there and going,

nah, that was just get, keep you guys like hopefully on the right track, but none is good. Right. And that, that when Dennis was doing that and, and, um, you know, that was just get, keep you guys like hopefully on the right track, but none is good. Right. And that, that, when Dennis was doing that and, and, um, you know, he was, he, he's been pressed on it before when talking about pornography and, and, and he has said the same thing over and, and God bless him, a very intelligent man. And we had a conversation in the car and I would love if we could say a prayer for him. I know he just got injured recently. He fell and hurt his back and it's been going around a lot, but I would ask your audience and those that... Yeah, really quick. Father God, we again, we thank you for bringing us together today and a chance for us to share each other, share my story with

Matt and be able to share with the audience, but more importantly, Lord, we just ask for your continued healing hands on Dennis Prager and that you help him and his family get through this tough time. And whatever you decide for him, whether he's fully back to normal or has any type of anything left over because of this accident, that Jesus, you show yourself to him. Because more importantly, he's such a sweet man. And I think that he is on the cusp of knowing you. And maybe it took this, but Lord show yourself to Dennis and his family and continue to wrap, wrap your arms and your hands around them in Jesus name.

Amen. Amen. Thank you. I really enjoyed my talk with him. Yeah, he's a great, he was lovely. I really thought he was delightful. Funny as all get out. Yeah, yeah. He's bigger than life He was lovely. I really thought he was delightful. Funny as I'll get out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bigger than life. I know. I know. I got to tell people how we met. So we were at the Am I Racist premiere. No, you're not. Oh, the movie. Yes. Good. Sorry. Sorry. I thought it was a question. You just used to people ask you that.

I'm like, I don't know you well. And I saw you. And for those who have seen the second Jeremy's razor commercial, you're black Jeremy. Yes. So I looked at you and went black Jeremy and you went pints with a coin. I was shocked that you knew who I was. My wife, cause my, I'll tell you this, my wife and I, we saw you in a distance, right? Cause you were, you were looking dapper. You're there with your wife. And I go, Oh, Hey babe, that's pints with Aquinas. And we actually, we actually, she knows your name

or knew your name a lot better than I did. So to me, you're always Pines with Aquinas. So I kind of, I'll take that. I didn't know the history either, cause I got a new Christian. Mr. Pines, or I thought your name was Aquinas. So she just goes, Matt Fratt, Matt Fratt. She always says that.

And I was like, wait, that's his real name? Yeah, that's Matt Fratt. I was like, oh, I thought it was Aquinas. OK, well, I'll call you black Jeremy. You call me Aquinas. Yeah, there you go. And so I came up, I was like, I'm one of those ever since I was little, man. If I see someone that I like the work that they do,

even when I was back in Hollywood, I just go up to people and I'll, hey, hey, what's going on? I love your work, bro. Watch your stuff. Like, I just go up to people and I'll, Hey, Hey, what's, I love your work, bro. Like watch your stuff. Did it? Like I don't try to go over the top, but I just have to let them know. I have to talk to the person just for a second. So do you get good reactions? Oh yeah. The only crazy reaction ever got was you ever watched the show? Um, uh, community. Did you ever see that show? Yeah.

So, um, there was a was an Indian guy on the show. He played a character Abed, right? And I was working, it was the first year I was living in LA, 2004 to 2005, right? And working at this restaurant, right? Right in the middle of the Beverly center, which is a big like shopping center and in the middle of Beverly Hills.

So it's like a lot of people go there and I've seen a lot of stars. I like magic Johnson and everyone's just kind of like, okay, cool. And I see him and I, I'm a kind of person where magic didn't excite me cause I'm like, I don't really care about the Lakers, but because I was, we were big, me and my buddy were big in the community. I'm like, I bet. Right. And so I went up to him and it was a few times I've done this to any type of celebrity about go up

I go hey, man, what's up, man? He was like, whoa, he got into a stance. I'm like, oh, hey, I'm sorry I'm not crazy. I just wanted to say you make me laugh and it's great stuff but that was probably one of the only times that I I Went over the top to meet somebody usually. I'm I'm a little more relaxed and chill and and. Usually I'm a little more relaxed and chill. And I met, what was it? I said Henley, I think her last name is, but Cersei from Game of Thrones.

Okay, and never watched it. Never watched Game of Thrones, good, because it was a lot of sex, and it was just crazy anyway. But she was great in that. She was great in the Sarah Connor Chronicles, which is a TV show that I watched, was based on Sarah Connor fromicles, which is a TV show that I watched was based on Sarah Connor from the Terminator movies.

And she was at, what was it? Shake Shack. So I'm standing in line with a buddy and we're chilling. And at the door has like seats there for people to wait for her to go order orders and whatnot. So we're in line. I'm sitting there, I look over and go, oh man, I turned my body.

I'm like, has that Cersei over there? He's like, who? I'm like, are you kidding me? At this time, like Game of Thrones was like the show. It was the last show and this is why the last two seasons sucked so bad. It was the last show everyone watched where you could talk.

It was like a water cooler show. You can actually still talk about like the Sopranos was, you know, and so it was a big deal or at least in my world or whatever. So I'm seeing her over there and she's sitting by herself. I'm like, I gotta go say something. And another guy comes and he sits like a seat over and then turns his back to her. I'm like, he doesn't even know what's going on. Right.

And we're in the middle of West Hollywood. So we're in the middle of like people should lose their mind over her. Right. So we go and get our food and we sit out and I'm still looking at her. I'm like, I'd look at my buddy, I go, I gotta say hi, man, I'll be right back. So I go over and she's minding her own business and I just kind of sit down nice and easy.

Then I go, and I lean in and I'm like, look, I'm not gonna tell her, scream out who you are at all, but you gotta get a picture with me though. She was like, okay. So we did a little selfie down here. I'm like, and we took a little get a picture with me though. She was like, okay. So we did a little selfie down here. And I'm like, and we took a little picture and then we started chatting. I was like, oh, so what are you getting?

She goes, I'm getting a mushroom burger. What are you? I was like, oh, I'm getting meat. I'm a meat guy. She was like, oh, and we chatted and walked away. But it was just those, that little moment. I just love kind of doing that with people and trying to be, I'm just a normal person.

Like I like to give, especially as an artist, I like to give love to the craft and what they've done. And the fact that it speaks to me in the heart, you know, I like to be like, hey, you are, you're doing some great work out there. So, you know, I don't, I don't hold back. So I was glad I came up to you cause now I'm in the studio guys. It's a lot bigger.

It's very underwhelming. No, it's beautiful. I love this. I was actually going to be disappointed to not being here because there's a boiler thing going this. I was actually going to be disappointed to not being here because there's a boiler thing going on and I want it to be in the presence of, of all these icons and your books and they're real books. Just so everybody knows. That was something that we're betting on.

I've read all of them. Are you serious? No. Oh, those are in Latin. So I certainly haven't. That's where I was going to start. I was like, you mean you read those? I mean, I have read big chunks of it, but yeah. Well, that's good, though. And that's better than me. I don't think I've read any of these.

There you go. So what I know about you is you're black Jeremy from Daily Wire. Yes. You're becoming Christian or you are Christian. I am Christian. Yes. You are a Christian baptized on January 1st, 2022. Oh, and so, sorry, I beg your pardon. You are Christian. I am Christian, yes. Baptized on January 1st, 2022. Wow. And so, okay, recent conversion and I'm just, I am legitimately excited to get to know you. Oh yeah, let's do it. I'm excited to get to know you too and tell you a little something. Yeah. Thanks man. Yeah, so who the bloody hell are you?

Yeah, well, you know, I'm a first generation American. My uh, who's actually in town now back in Tennessee, visiting us for Thanksgiving. Uh, she moved to the States. I was actually born here in the States when she was getting her masters in nursing. I went back to our families from Liberia, West Africa. So I went back there and then we moved back in 83 after the coup, after the military takeover. Um, and then pretty much my younger brother was born there and then we grew up in Chicago area

and then ended up moving to North Shore suburb called Evanston, Illinois. Beautiful town to live in, extremely liberal. Again, that's all you know, but it wasn't to where liberalism is today. It was still patriotic. We had a Fourth of July. We had the, I remember we had the parade that would happen

and the football team from high school football team would always be in the parade. And I remember thinking, I can't wait to be a part of that. And people would come back from college just to like support that, you know? And I ended up, you know, playing football there and going in parade, which is great. It was just, so it was a really great place to grow up for the time. Um,

which it really hurts me now because it's a, it's a place that has ushered in reparations for housing discrimination from the 1900s. And I know people that I went to school with who are speaking as if their life and everything now can be rectified based on this. And I'm like, dude, we went to school together. What are you talking about? Like in the nineties, it wasn't about this thing. You weren't moving around being like, man, as a black man, we got to watch. It was none of that stuff. You know,

it was about, and we had a crew, like my, my group of best friends, it was four of us, two of black, two was white and that's what we did. You know, and it was never about the fact that we were white or we were black. It was just, we were friends. So to kind of see what the Evanston has become now really kind of, it hurts. You know, I know just recently about six months ago, the high school started offering segregated classrooms and classes. And it's just where they can't really say it's segregated,

but they'll kind of frame it in a certain way. And with the culture of, I remember reading an article saying, you know, the black kids saying they have a hard time learning around white kids. And I'm just like, this culture has been banging them over the head with this nonsense for so long that even in a place like Evanston, where I went to, uh, you know, Martin Luther King elementary school, where it was like, we are all here apart together. Like we're all one, we're better together, all this stuff.

And now they're pushing in the high school's classes to be segregated. It just, it really hurt. You know, it was one of those things that as you get older as a man, you start seeing the reality of the world, it can hurt. But I was fortunate enough to get a football scholarship to the University of Iowa. I went to Iowa, that's when I really got caught up in the stuff, you know, because I think I was telling you earlier,

at eight I did get baptized and we were going to church until probably until maybe 12 or 13 when I started doing more extracurricular activities, like do more sports and especially stopped in high school because I started wrestling as well. And so wrestling is just, once the wrestling season starts, that's all you're doing, right? You're wrestling and you go to tournaments all day, Saturdays and Sundays, you just want to sleep. Right? So, and my mom was like, okay, we're done. And so we stopped going to church. Um, I came to find out years later, I'll put this in now just so you have an understanding. My grandfather,

though, was the main pastor of the main church in Liberia Providence church, which I didn't find out until about, uh, about, uh, 2017 when I went back to Liberia to shoot a movie there. Um, but that now knowing that no one I know now to know that that was a part of us, but yet we moved away from it as a family. It was really like looking back. My wow, it, it can happen. Even in a place where you think foundation is strong, right? Um, and unfortunately for my mom, when she was 12, my, my grandfather was killed.

So it, it, I can see how then the world could, could grab hold of someone right before they hit puberty. When life is more confusing, they've got from your daddy's baby to now your hormones are changing. And yet that, that, that male strength and that kind of calmness isn't around anymore. So, you know, if we can go into that later, but, um, you know, so he was gone. Um, we went away from the church. I went to college and the thing about being a college football athlete is kind

of like any, any generic movie, like the program or, or, uh, Johnny B good. Um, there's a lot of truth there. And that's when a lot of the darkness that I've struggled with in my life became more full. It became, it came at you alcohol and women. That's the main key. And it came at me in abundance. It came at me, um, uh, in a way that I didn't have the foundation to really, truly fight it off.

You know, um, I had, I had, I had a time where freshman year I wasn't playing because of a red shirt, but then I started seeing stuff, you know, like, oh man, a girl can stay over because your parents aren't here. Like this is great, you know? So, and women, women were, they were literally, I never forget this first time we were going into one of the bars at Iowa and I'm walking with a guy who was a sophomore and there was me and a couple other guys and a girl she was drunk came over grabbed my face and just Tung me down and walked away and he looked at me goes welcome to college and I was like this is awesome

You know You know you come from like having one girlfriend and there are two girlfriends at the most in high school. Tonight all girls just throwing themselves at you. And, and I mean, people were offering any and everything. And, and I was afraid of, uh, doing hard drugs and I'll never forget seeing the darkness of someone offering me cocaine for the first time in college. And brother, I swear to you, it was like, he was talking, everything was this light and bright and all of a sudden he leans in half his face, it goes dark. And he's like, you want some blow?

I'm like, oh no, I'm okay. He goes, okay, fine, it's cool. And went back to normal. And I'm just like, wow, that thing is dark, you know? But yeah, no, I got caught up in the drinking and I wasn't, the year after I got there the coach who recruited me, he retired, which he said he wasn't gonna do.

So I was kind of, my world was a little shook right now like well I'm gonna show him I'm gonna stick it out didn't understand the business of college football the new coaching staff came in and they were looking to push their guys and you know I get it now at the time it was unfair but at the same time I got in trouble at 20 where I got DUI and that was on the cover of all newspapers back in Iowa. It even made it back to Evanston where I was from. Uh, it was on the late night news. So how did your mom react? Um, you know, moms at the end of the day, moms were just supportive, right? She wasn't, um,

she didn't show the level of disappointment that one could think, but she was just there. The disappointment came everywhere else. You know, um, my junior senior in high school, I got a lot of press. So I've been ever since I was 16, been used to interviews. Right. At one point we had the Chicago Tribune following me in second half of my day in school recording and doing all stuff and did a thing on the news about me all this stuff like in Chicago and not even like small town like The whole thing and so I've been used to that so I Hadn't gotten the other side of it. I've only gotten the good

Yeah, he's thumbs up and want to do this did a whole and we'll get into this later about drop it now See cuz you understand how funny it is. At one point in an article written by the, in the Tribune, I was telling them how I want to go to law school to become an FBI agent. You'll see why that's funny later. Hold on to your butts. Um, but yeah, no. So that was to get the other side of it and not have now knowing not having God in my life, man, Matt, it, it was, it was hard. It was really hard. Again,

my mom was there, but my personality wanted to show, I can make, get through it. But at the same time, when you have random people you don't know asking you questions about what, Hey man, what happened? How did you? And I'm thinking to myself, everybody's doing it. Leave me alone. Like, what are you talking about? Like you're making it as if I, I killed somebody. I didn't kill somebody. I messed up. I was drunk, got behind the wheel of a car and drove. Like I didn't hurt anybody. Thank God. Um, but it got me into a pretty dark place in general,

which lasted for at least a decade. Um, and I, I doubled down on that. Right? So while that was happening, then I started, uh, you know, letting my schoolwork fade. Um, I drank more and I, and then I wasn't getting a chance to play where I could get that adulation where I was used to, you know, getting the cheers and all that stuff from high school. So I really had a, um, in a sense of who am I moment during that time where I'm, okay, I'm doing football. Everyone knows me as a football player, but I'm not being successful. So it doesn't count because in my mind,

at the time I needed to be successful in what I was doing in order for it to count for who I am. All right. Making the work, my identity instead of now looking at it, Christ my identity. And so where I would get the applause and the attention was at the bars. You know, it was cool to all the bartenders, all the door guys can walk right in. The girls, you know, wanted to get to know all this stuff. So that's where I started pouring a lot of focus into. Um, I'd go and do football and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and then, um, but I wouldn't school was like a second thought and not unbeknownst to me, I was really developing my alcoholism.

I was really in bootcamp to graduate with high honors in alcoholism because we were, I was just Tuesdays, Wednesdays, it didn't matter, you know, day, the day, night before a game, if we weren't in the hotel room, yeah. Or, uh, I was telling you this story the next day after a game, if guys who didn't play that much with scrimmage the next day had come in, hang hung over, play well. So that didn't help me wanting to stop. Yeah. But yet coaches, when we're in a circle, we'd be like, somebody smells like,

look at those. This older black coach of mine. And I'd be like, I didn't know. Half the guys would look over at me and I'm like, go Hawks, let's get out of here. You know? Um, and so it got to a point where I was fortunate enough, I found acting as well. I was gonna be a history teacher because I like kids and I like history, but I took one acting class and I fell in love with the process,

which is something that I, even for football, everything else, I didn't really enjoy the process. I enjoyed the finished work, but I didn't enjoy the process and acting. I enjoyed reading the script for the first time, putting myself in there to develop into character, memorizing and then making, you know, coming back out and making it my own. I love that whole process and the final, all the way up to the final. So I got, I got involved in

acting, but I still didn't let go of the alcohol because at this point I think it was just, it was too locked into... What did it do for you? Confidence? Yeah. You know, a false confidence that, um, I held onto. I could talk to girls easier. I remember, I remember, um, I woke up one morning next to this girl and, uh, I don't remember what I said to her, but it worked, right? Whatever it was.

And I leaned in, I go, Hey, do you remember what I said to you last night? She was like, Oh, I mean, you're kind of, you're just really sweet and funny. And I was like, okay. And I remember always thinking, God, I got to remember what I'm saying so that I don't have to get this drunk in order to say it. You know? So it was, it was confidence at the most. And it was just warm, you know, like we're all equal in the sense, um, guys that were starters and playing and me, well, we could go out and have a good time.

And it wasn't like they were starters over here. And I was just like the guy on the bench. It was, we were all one now and I could hang with the best of them and shots and beer and all that stuff, you know? Um, and watch, I'm gonna go get the girl. You won't. And so it gave me a sense of confidence that I, I didn't have, which I, I think I put into football or in high school. He's fine. This funny senior year. I remember telling the team, we're not drinking at all this year guys.

And I think I was one of the few ones that didn't some of the other guys did, but it, because football was where I got that, a claim from and that sense of purpose that could come above alcohol or even women. But since that was not doing the same thing in college, I still needed in my heart, I still needed that thing and that thing was coming so easily in alcohol and girls. So that's what it led me into. I know if I go out and drink everyone,

I can go dancing and be cool with the bartenders and you know, be able to meet this, you know, these women. So it, it, it really, it really, and then it became a crutch, you know, cause then it became, I can't go out. I can't have a good time if I don't have a shot. Did you notice that? Did that, was that a wake up call for you and you realized this is impossible for me to go have a good time without it? Yes and no.

I didn't notice it as if it was a problem. I noticed it as like, I know if I can go get that, then everything will chill out. Yeah. Right. So let me go get that. It's normal. We're at the bar. So there's not people here to don't drink. We're at a bar. Right. So I knew as I can get that, if I can get that. It's normal. We're at the bar. So there's not people here to don't drink. We're at a bar. Right? So I knew as I can get that if I can get that first one in boom, we're ready to party Let's have a good time, you know, but uh, I Did notice that I did notice I needed that to get comfortable But I didn't think it was a problem. Yeah, right. I just had the images of

Men going through rough times with their whiskey and just kind of like live in life and going, that's what a man is. You know, not having my father in my life. And it wasn't like, um, I was blessed with a big brother from the big brother's big sister program, Pete, who has been in my life forever. But it wasn't that, I think it's still different when you're visiting as opposed to when your father who's there and you can, there's things that come up that you can't just sit down like, all right, today we're going to talk about the problems with alcohol. You know, like now, you know, it's sometimes you need to see it first and go, wait, let me tell

you why hitting your sister is wrong. You know, something like that. Um, and so that, the alcohol went with me, um, so much so that I actually gave a football in school for it. And so I didn't finish school. 2004, I left, went back home for a few months. Came out to, went out to LA to shoot a short film. Went back and met that big brother I told you about. I was like, man, I just need like two, you know,

2,500 that I can go out there. He goes, oh, that's it. I'll give you that. So he gave me 2,500 and I shot the movie in July or August and October. I'll give you that. So he gave me 2,500 and I shot the movie in July or August and October. I was driving out to LA and in 2004 and I landed in LA on October 17th of 2004. What did you get? Sorry, what pot did you get? Did you see? Oh no, I shot a short film. Okay. And a guy that I, a guy that went to college with me, this out an email he sent, he goes, Hey, I just want to make sure. Is this a Siaka from Iowa who used to dance on the bar

and it just be like the life of the party. I have this part, I think it'd be perfect for it. He flew me out and everything. And so I was like, wow, that's, this is, this is the life, you know, this is acting. I can pull out. So this was the new direction to your life. That was new direction. Yeah, but now acting or I can pull out. So, so this was the new direction to your life. That was new direction. Yeah. But now acting and it was something, like I said, even I enjoyed the process. So I wasn't, I wasn't, uh, adverse to the work that that would take where it's in football.

I'm like, I'm doing all this and not getting where I believe I can be. Screw this thing. You know, um, drove out in LA and LA just, uh, LA made all those vices even more okay. You know, and unfortunately I did get involved in cocaine. It was crazy actually that restaurant I worked at in Beverly, in the Beverly Center, my, the chef was my dealer. So it got so bad that like whatever tips I made,

half of that would go to him for that day So if it's like me 40 bucks, he's getting 20 if I made 60 he's getting 30 like it was just that's what's happening and Fortunately enough God put something inside me where I could stop that on my own. I could go, you know when I saw her getting bad I was like, all right, this is crazy. I got to stop, you know, my emotions are tied to this It was it was weird because I could see that, but I couldn't see alcohol. Alcohol was because it was, to me, so normal in life.

Do you think it's because it's so socially acceptable? Yeah, I definitely think that's what it was. I mean, you're seeing billboards and TV commercials and everywhere you go, hey, you wanna drink, da-da-da-da-da-da, it's like, whereas not everyone's passing around a bump, you know? Yeah, there's a sort of, uh, there's a vibe associated with alcohol in advertisements that have to do with

celebration or reflection or masculinity. You don't see that with cocaine. Especially not after the eighties, but, um, you know, it's, and then like the girl stuff, you know, now you're in a place where it's I always say the reason why Hollywood we shouldn't listen to Hollywood for our moral advice is Because it deals in the flesh Literally what it deals in are you good-looking enough? Are you tall enough? You have big enough breasts? Are you big enough muscles like that's literally what it deals in

The Ted the most talented is not always the ones that get job So it's not here. It's about appearances So why would we, especially now, you know, being a Christian and reading the New Testament and seeing what that's like, it says die to your flesh every day is what Paul tells us, but yet the world that I was in was, it was all about flesh. It was all about how do you look? Are you good enough? Are you charming enough to the outward, you know, uh, Appearances so yeah, there was you know ups and downs there struggles Uh, the biggest again the biggest struggle struggle that was the through line was the alcohol no matter what was going on

I'd get fired from jobs, but I get another job in a couple of couple weeks So hey, i'm still going I break up with girlfriends or girlfriends break up with me. Well, I get another girl But the underlining thing was alcohol. And I didn't, I couldn't, it's weird. I could not see that with this thing, it was what was getting in the way of healthy relationships of even taking my acting to the next level. I would go and sometimes take shots of whiskey before auditions and thinking that I was, all right. That's what you do

Not realizing the camera catches everything so the cameras probably seen this like Off performance from a drunk guy, you know at the time and Fortunately enough. I tried sobriety in 2013. What was the wake-up call? in 2013 What was the wake-up call? in 2013 So I was living in I booked a Super Bowl commercial in 2012 Subaru Super Bowl a Super Bowl Okay, uh-huh. So it was a Bud Light commercial of all things here I go figure

so I booked this commercial and I was going to literally leave to go back to Illinois or my mom where I'm from and I booked this commercial which put money in my pocket. I was like, well, I guess I'm staying. And I got like an agent, you know, manager. It was like, yeah, Super Bowl is connect. You know, I wasn't, I wasn't, as a career, I wasn't mature enough for the things that came after the Super Bowl commercial.

I wasn't completely immature where I completely threw it away, but I wasn't ready for the level of commitment. I just thought you just show up type of thing. And so I was, um, in 2013, I was, I was going out to auditions, big time auditions that I just wasn't really, I wasn't really mentally and, and uh, trade wise, I wasn't skilled enough to really get talent wise. Maybe I could have worked it out

while I was in the process, but building that foundation wasn't strong enough yet. And so, excuse me, and so I ended up getting a place, I needed a place really quickly. It was in Koreatown, and it was called Artist Housing and this was nothing but a slumlord house. It was a big house that, I'll give you examples, so you had like, you had one room, the first room you had walked in, it was a couple who were meth heads. Then you had one one lady, sweet, sweet woman who

was living in the middle of all that and then on the other side of her were crackheads, or I think it was vice versa, I wanted to. And then there was a basement, which in California, there's no basement housing because of the earthquakes and stuff. But there was a basement where a guy stayed down there and he was an obese comedian that never went out into any type of comedy.

He just would sit there and rail about how the system sucks, right? Then you had upstairs, I had the biggest room and I was paying the most, so I was like, I'm cool, because I'm paying the most, you know? Then you had another room that people would come in and out a lot, they were just, because it was one of those places where

if you were in town for a month, you pay for a month and that's it, or if you're in town for six months, that's it. Then you had these other two rooms, which had sets of bunk beds in there between three to four bunk beds and like foreign girls would always come in and out just because and they would like stack on top of each other. So that was the place I was staying and I come home one night drunk and I,

and on the stove someone was making ramen noodles and I'm like, I'm hungry. So I start eating ramen noodles. And so the crack head couple, the guy comes out, he's like yelling at me like, Oh, what are you doing? You're stealing my food. And so me, I get offended because he's yelling at me, not because I stole something, you know, like I couldn't see what his actual anger was. I was just, how dare you yell at me. So I went back and forth about him. I yell at me and did it. I go to bed, I pass out, kind of vaguely remember what's happening. The next day I was supposed to go help work on his

motorcycle, one of the roommates, and I come downstairs. As I come downstairs, the obese guy, he stops me, he goes, hey man, we had a discussion and we said if you come home drunk again, we're going to ask the landlord to kick you out. And I was like, and this is a discussion from meth heads and crack heads. Exactly. And I'm just like, huh? So I take my dog for a walk. I do my normal ritual, which was going on at seven 11,

pick up some wine and go back to the house at like 10 AM. And I go in my room and I'm just laying there sipping. I'm just thinking to myself, I didn't move out here for this. I didn't move out here to get kicked out of a place by crackheads and methods. Like I got to, something's gotta change. And there was this couple, one of the couples that were visiting, they were from a Copenhagen, tall, blonde. I call them my elves. Everyone knows Lord of the Rings. That's like my elves in there. Right? So,

so we were, I was talking to him, that was his motorcycle that we were always working on. And he was a really nice, really nice guy. He was in town to do his, to do research about psychiatry or something like that. And he was, they were traveling the story multiple times, but it still just hits me. It was like one of the hardest things I ever had to do was just to say, yes, I am. And as I said it, it felt like, I was in a place where I was like, I'm not going to be able to do this. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like things I ever had to do was just to say yes, I am and As I said it it felt like a football was coming out through my throat. I was like yes, and it's it felt like this it fell out and But at the same time a weight that I didn't understand was gone It was really weird because they say in the steps is the first step is to weight that I didn't understand was gone. It was really weird. Cause they say in the steps is the first step is to admit that you've

parlous over alcohol. That was before I was in the rooms, but that was the first step that I took. And this weight was off where people said before back in the, you know, in the past and I got DUIs and stuff, they're like, well, do you think you have a problem? No, no, no, no. I just unlucky. It was just unlucky. Really is what I thought. Other people do it. I just want, I just got caught. That's all it was. And then his girl asked, would you want to go to meetings?

And before it was like, wow, now those people are crazy. Right. Yeah. And Matt, it was just, I couldn't say yes fast enough. It wasn't me. It was weird. It was, do you think you can go? Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. And they had experience with meetings. No, no, no. They're just, they're just, they just wanted to help. They just heard about the 12th. Yeah. And they were just like, Hey, I know meetings. And so we started, he goes, Hey, I'll go with you. I was okay. Let's go. And we actually went that night.

God bless him. Yeah. Oh, uh, Laura's just, Laura's and Ricky. They have a special place in my heart ever forever. Like, um, I love those guys. Um, and so we started going and much like I do a lot of other things, I get really focused into it. And so I started going so much. I remember he was like, man, I love that you did get better. It was like months later. He's like, I love you getting better, but I miss my friend. You're never around, you know?

And I'm like, ah, well, you know, it is what it is. But my past caught up to me. I want to tell you about a course that I have created for men to overcome pornography. It is called strive21.com slash Matt. You go there right now or if you text STRIVE to 66866, we'll send you the link. It's 100% free and it's a course I've created to help men to give them the tools to overcome pornography.

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and things like that. Strive21, that's Strive21.com slash Matt, or as I say, text Strive to 66866 to get started today. You won't regret it. But my past caught up to me because when they were, it was a weekend they were leaving. I was, I went to go play dodgeball. I was big into dodgeball back then.

Two time champion by the way, just so everyone knows. I'm serious. And I'm leaving that evening and the dodge ball was in West Hollywood. And as I'm leaving, some friends wanted to go to the bar. And I was like, there's a friend from high school who was like, she was around and I was going to go meet her. I was like, either I can Uber home

or I can Uber to Santa Monica and go hang out. And so I'm looking at my phone and the sheriff's kind of pull up. Looking at my phone, he's like, hey, what's up, man? I'm gonna have a backpack. I'm like, hey, what's going on? He's like nothing, he's like, yeah, you know, you might have to check your ID.

I'm like, I'm thinking, it's not a big deal. Now, where, are you in an Uber at this point? No, no, no, I'm standing on the street, just like looking to decide what am I gonna do? With you, yeah. I'm trying to go, do I go to the bar with these guys? Do I go to Santa Monica or do I Uber home? And I'm looking at my phone and the sheriff's pull up

and I say, and they'd ask me, hey, you know what's going on? I'm like, oh, nothing, just got an unplanned dodge ball. They're like, you mind if we check your ID? I'm like, I don't, I got an unplanned dodgeball. They're like, you might have we check your ID. I'm like, Oh, I got none to hide. That's not a big deal. So I have my ID and unbeknownst to me. So I got a, my third DUI was in 2008. I got the first two like back to back in college and then, you know, had,

had space then. And then in 2008 I got it. And I thought I had done everything that I was supposed to do for the program with the courts have you do. Um, I missed finishing. I think it was two programs, like the mad program, which is like mothers against drunk drivers and one other. And, uh, the sheriff goes, Oh man. I'm like, what's up? He's like, sir, do this to you, man. There's like a $50,000 warrant out for your arrest. I'm like, what? At? He's like, sorry to do this to you, man. There's like a $50,000 warrant out for your arrest. I'm like, what? At this point I had been traveling, I've been flying, and I'm under the assumption if, if, if there's a warrant this big,

if I go to the airport, they're going to be like, come with us. Exactly. Nothing. So I'm really confused. I'm like, what? Like, yeah, sorry, man. We're going to have to, it's like, we would let you go if it wasn't so much money. I'm like, I'm just, I'm just shocked. Mind you, this is 2014 now. Right. And I'm like, okay. So they put me in jail that night. Uh, I had to go to, uh, the next morning had to go to what's called the two, the twin towers in, uh, LA for, uh, for processing and to be in jail until I'm going to the court.

Uh, actually, no, I went to court the next morning and they were going to put me in jail that evening, but you had to go to two towers or to the twin towers. And this was like, man, like I'll never forget in my first year, I don't know for one kid that I was working with randomly turned to me. He goes don't ever go to jail because you don't want to be in the towers, man It's the worst. I was like, well, he goes, but if you ever go tell him you're gay I was like what yeah to put you in I was like, okay, so now I'm in this situation And then mind you they have people packed in my first get you in there You're packed in and it's like at an amusement park or you're going in line to a TSA where they have a line on the floor,

red line on the floor, right? And then they have, I would say either blue or greenish tape outside of it, but you have to follow in that track. So people are walking like this, but it's not split up by any, by anything except for the tape on the ground. So people could, nothing. And so, I mean, there's a bunch of people just going through. Never forget there was this one kid, black kid, turned to another black kid who was like three rows back, goes, what sent you from, homie? I'm this, oh yeah, I'll see you inside.

And I'm like, we're not even processed yet. I'm just like, what is going on? So we go through and they're like, you know, take your clothes off, you're gonna wear this for this. And now I'm putting on a jumpsuit. And we go to do the phones, or at this point where you talk to like a guard or something about like who you are,

and do you have any medical stuff? And because they're required to, if you have any type of medical stuff, you're required to get it at, you know, in prison, in jail. And so then they asked, they're like, are you gay or are you straight? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So first of all, why did he say you should say you're gay? He's like, cause they separate you. So you're not with the crate, the real crazies. Why would they do that?

Because they, as someone that LA and California was doing, I mean, this was one few times that woke actually made sense. I'm just trying to understand the logic of it because they didn't want the gay guys to get harassed and beat up inside with the straight men who were like more dangerous physically. Okay, fair enough. And so I remember here like, are you gay or straight? Are you gay?

I was like, just basically, literally what you did. I go, it all came back and stained me. I go, yup. You're like, I'm gay and as you say it, you're thinking, I hope that guy didn't steer me wrong. No, right? I'm like, well, cause I just saw these two guys go, I'll wait for it to see you get in there. I'm like, that's the normal jail? Like, no, no, right? I'm like, well, cause I just saw these two guys go, I'll wait for it to see you get in there.

I'm like, that's the normal jail? Like, no, no, no, I'm not doing that. And so- I'm going to gay jail. Yeah, I'm going to gay jail. Gayle. I'm going to Gayle. So we go in and they gave me like a different color

wristband. Pink. And I think it was like, I think it was, if it wasn't straight pink, it was definitely like a lighter red. Right. And so, and so there's a section where it's like the big monitoring section where you go into to get, you know, health checked and everything. People were kind of waiting. And then you can see outside of that, the little, uh, the, uh, the,

the holding cells where they had like 14, 15 men just in these little cubicles. And I'm like, I mean, these are like dudes who are hardened criminals in this space. And I'm looking around one guy was so bad. He was going around there holding him. He's like, ah, he's spitting and everything. And they had to put like, uh, I don't know if you ever seen 13 ghosts, but they had like a, uh, or, or saw to put a metal box over his head that it could open up,

but he couldn't like, he couldn't like bite at them. And he's sitting there, locked into the seat that he's in. And I'm just looking over like, wow, this is, this is something else. Now at this point, sorry, are you only going to prison for a night? I'm going to jail at this point. I don't know how long it's going to put in. They had said, cause I went to court and it said two weeks. Oh, I see. So they put you in jail for a night and then you went to court. And then they were like, court was like, all right, two weeks. Right.

And you're like, ah, and then most of the people were like, look, you could probably get out in a day or two because everything's already packed. They usually let the, the nonviolent ones go and they give you like, you know, public service, you know, you got to go do that. Uh, all that, all that stuff. And so I'm sitting in there and then they saw my wrist and then they put me in one of the holding cells with the other people who were gay or whatever. There was like six people in there. Oh, this is great.

The other one was packed and this one was like six people. I'm like, okay. I'm like, all right, wow, that's, that's, that's suck. I have my own space. No one's messing with anyone able to, and it's not comfortable to really sleep there, but you try to get as much sleep as you can. Then you have, did you have beds? No, this was at this point, we just had a metal benches that were around the space and then the floor, which is all concrete and your jacket. So,

or your one part of your shirt so you can kind of roll that up. And by California law, they have 24 hours to get you a bed. So they'll wait 23 and a half hours to get you a bed. So we were getting at one point for like six hours or in what, that one space, then we move over for another six hours, whatever it is to be another space. Then they get you into like, they finally get you a bunk bed, but this was a temporary spot before they assign you directly into a cell block.

Now, this is the part that's really, well, it's all crazy, but this is the part that's really wild. So then what they were doing with the new guys that came in that said they were gay, they had one of the sheriffs come and ask you questions to prove that if you were gay or not. And there was a list of like 10 to 12 questions, dude.

What kind of questions were there? For example, what magazines do you read? Okay. What bars do you go to? Play girl. Yeah. And they're like, what bars do you go to? Gay ones. West Hollywood period. No. Um, and here's the thing, because again, some of my best friends are gay. So I knew the stuff. I knew the answers, right? So I could fill it in. That's funny.

So Word apparently got out such that they now had to interview you to see if you were really gay. I guess so. Well, because one of the guys too was like, yeah, I'd like to get in the gay one because the straight one is violent. And so I've tried to get him before, but they didn't accept me. So I'm trying it again.

That's what this one guy was telling me. I was like, oh, they, they actually test you. I was kind of wild. I was like, wow, this is crazy. So they're going through and then my acting skills came in. Hold up a picture of Brad Pitt. Yeah. He's so hot. I'm like, that's, that's high level, like everything.

Young Brad too, not O'Bri. But so he's asking me his question. I remember sitting there as he's asked me, I'm like, this is a violation of civil rights here. Like you're not, how are you gonna test somebody, right? And it was funny too, because like he asked a question, cause one of the questions was like, did you come out, how did you come out

and who'd you come out to? So I was like, damn it. I had to kind of think I came up with a story. I was like, I told my old, I told my prom date and she was really sweet. One of my best friends. And it was just such a beautiful moment. Like I said, this whole story. And then they put me in the gay cell. So I was like, or the gay cell block. So I'm like, all right, it was was it can be a movie on its own. I know. I know. I know. A lot of it sounds bad and dramatic.

It also could be an amazing comedy. Oh, it's it's it's it's amazing comedy, because once I got in there, it was like a whole different world. People are drinking tea. It what? Seriously? Carpet. It was like it was like it was a gay prison wizard of Oz. Right? So there was, so there was, so there was- I don't know what that means.

What does that mean? I'm gonna break it down. So there's, you know, there's bunk beds and there's sections. I haven't talked about this. This was 2013. I haven't talked about this in a while, 13, 14. And so we get in there and of course I'm fresh meat. I'm new.

So everyone's looking, but it's not the other, it's not the other sub blocks where they're just gonna take it. They try to woo you, oh hey, what's good, do you need anything, if you need any extra soap let me know. I'm like, oh no, I'm good, thanks, you know. And then I remember seeing a big garbage can, like a huge plastic one where one of the Transvestites who just had female breast or you know breast implants was taking a bath in there So he could like kind of hide and come up and I'm just like, okay, there's that Toilets are wide open showers wide open. I'm like, okay. Well Wow, here we are and and so there are different areas and sections.

And I go to my bunk area and then there's this white guy, I don't know if he came into me or whatever, but he was white guy, kind of your build actually, bald head, and he had a super long white, like it was, you could tell it was for a fat guy's undershirt, but it was super long on him down to like his, below his knees, right? And his name was Casper.

That's what they call him, Casper. And so he was giving us the tour of this place. And he's like, oh, over there, so-and-so over there. And he's like, come on, I'll take you over here. Like, he was just like the friendliest, nicest guy going around. Then he introduced me to his guy, who was this like six, three black dude,

brother who was looked like Ving Rhames. It wasn't friendly. He's like, Oh, and this is, this is my, this is my guys. Man, I wish I could remember his name. Like he's like, what's up? How you doing? I'm like, Hey man, nice to meet you. You know, like I'm not trying to get your guy. Don't don't worry about that. You know? And it was just, it was just a very interesting space that thank God I didn't have to stay in there for more than that evening really but everyone because I can tell being in Hollywood for as long as I can tell when someone likes you because they like you like you they're trying to get you

because fortunately like I said earlier it's Hollywood is a, is a flesh industry and a lot of men have tried to, uh, you know, offer me things in Hollywood too, for my career. So, and in college I was around a lot of gay guys there saw when their attempts. So I saw, I knew when people were being nice in this situation, break that open for me. What do you mean for my career? Oh, hey, come to this, uh, premier party with me and you I'll introduce you to a lot of important people but I knew if I went with this one guy everyone would go that's his new arm candy so it wouldn't be just two friends going to something like here's

this new guy you know um some one guy said I'm gonna have you kissing me before the night's over you know um people one of the first things I saw was a guy, my, one of my good friends from college, he got me a job catering and we were so first saw all these stars like Nicole Kipman and John Stamos, all this. And he's bartending on bar backing, satellite bar and this tall guy, British cat. He comes forward and he's like, he's like, let me ask you, my friend's like tall, kind of like a Brad Pitt looking guy. He's like, are you gay or straight? And my friend's like, I'm gay, I'm sorry.

He goes, you're about as, here he goes, I'm straight, sorry. He goes, you're about as straight as a pretzel. And I'm standing there watching, like, cleaning the glass, we're like, what's Kurt gonna do? Like, what's going on? And the guy walks behind the bar and puts his arm around him with a big bear hug, like, and like kind of, like he turns his head towards it,

like this way, so I see him and he's like, I'm into like a very, and big bear hug, like, mm, and like, kind of, like, he turns his head towards it, like, this way. So I see him and he's like, I'm into like a very, and Kurt's like, yo, bro, I'm sorry, get off me. And I'm just like, this is, whoa, what's going on, you know? I mean, I've had well-known individuals ask, like, one guy asked me that he wanted me, but I'm like, what?

I met you with your girlfriend. What are you talking about? He goes, oh yeah. He's like, well, we can do a whole thing. He basically wanted me to hook up with that whole thing. And it was like, so I, his name was, his name was, he went by P something. I can't remember the last thing.

No, it kind of sucks. Cause it was a famous comic book guy. And I was big in the comic book. So I was like, Oh man. I'm like, I knew it was weird when he signed his comic book and put his phone number on it. And I'm like, why would you ruin it with your phone number?

This is your signature, brother. But I'm so I'm in this jail situation. Everyone was super nice. Cause I think they were kind of trying to position themselves for something. But, but that night when I was asleep, somebody woke me up, Hey, see how could they're calling you? I'm like, what's up? And so the guards had came and called me, got me out and were gonna offer me a work release. So I can do community service instead of doing a two weeks in jail.

But the time that I was in jail, like no one could find me in the system because I wasn't technically processed in that 24 hours space yet. So, excuse me, my best friend who I called, I was, he was looking for me, couldn't find me, called like his high powered lawyer. He knew like, no one could find me in the first 24 hours. I wasn't, I wasn't in court anymore, but I technically wasn't fully processed yet in the cell block. But so the courts were like, Hey, okay, you're going to do community service, got out.

But that weekend was the last weekend that my friends Lars and Icky, the Scandinavian elves, they were actually getting in the car that Saturday to drive over to, uh, to drive across country back to New York and then they're going to fly back home. So I missed saying goodbye to them. It was, it was, oh man, it broke my heart. And lucky enough, you know, I had a one other good roommate looking after my dog. And it was just really wild.

And then I was able to get out, get back home. And you know, everyone told me what happened and what was going on and whatnot. And, and I was able to contact them and say, Hey, I'm okay. Cause then no one knew what happened, you know? And it wasn't like anyone in the house. I was going to reach out. How sure like parents or your mom rather, does she aware of this? God, no, I was not telling her I'd already broken her heart enough, you know,

and not going through college and getting in trouble with DUIs in college. And then all that, I was like, I'm not just rolling. I know. I'm like, Oh, can we do it now? Is this where we can? I mean, you can smoke whatever you want if you want, but, uh, yeah, we'll get that in. But yeah, no, it was, uh, this guy's good. Yeah,'s good. He's quick. Yeah, no, it was, I didn't want to tell her any of that stuff because I didn't want her to worry, you know,

how we do with our moms. If she doesn't need to know, I'm not going to say it. But yeah, no, that was a very interesting time. I always said I should write like a little TV series based on those characters in there. You know? Um, yeah, it's, I've been in a lot of different situations, high, high level to low level and everything in between. And that's just one of those stories that got me there. And, and I,

I was, uh, but in jail, they were all that stuff because this was my beginning of introducing a God of my understanding in my life. Right. So I was actually fine. that stuff because this was my beginning of introducing a God of my understanding in my life. Right? So I was actually fine. I was moving very calm. I knew the, I didn't know the God of the Bible in that way, but I knew God had my back because I saw him in the work he was doing with me and my sobriety. So I just, I was like,

I know I'm going to get out and just go back to it. And I didn't want to drink even after I got out. It didn't come back. None of that stuff came back cause I knew God had me. Um, but I hit a point where I started, uh, I started dating this one girl. And of course the two vices, you know how, you know how the Lord likes to do. Are you really, you're really good, huh? Okay, let's see. Uh's see. And I got, I was working this job where I was making good money. I just got offered a place to stay, which is in a whole nother part of, of Los Angeles, which is, which was a better place for me to stay instead of

that house. I bought a car cash like that's, I was doing well. And me and this girl were hot for each other and I actually liked her, but she was more like, I just want to hook up type of thing. I didn't really get that. And we ended up, uh, one of the one day I was taking her for a nice romantic, you know, at this point it was like a year and a half of sobriety. I was taking her for this romantic picnic right on the top of this, this top of this little hill ridge that overlooked a bunch of, a bunch of like LA.

And we're there and I actually got her, you know, nice cheese plate platter. But I got her the bottle of wine that she, so there's two wines that she picked on our first date and then she told me a weeks later she's like, I've been thinking about that other wine. So I went and got her that other wine that she picked on our first date. And then she told me a weeks later, she's like, I haven't been thinking about that other wine. So I went and got her that other wine that she didn't pick. And so I'm like here and then I pour me a glass and she gave me a look. I go, oh, I never said I wouldn't ever drink again.

That was the out that I gave myself. I was like, I'm just not drinking now. Right now I just can't do it. And so we have this, and she gave me a look. We have this glass of wine here, the guys thought it was romantic. I'm drinking with you, like you're special, which is, I know better now.

It's not what you wanna do. And we drank that night, and of course that night we're drunk and we end up hooking up. First time we were together physically was after being drunk. And a week and a half later, we had broken up and I'm drinking the handle of whiskey to go back to sleep again after not drinking for a year and a half, 19 months actually. So I had,

I had to go back through the the ringer, but fortunate enough, I was I was only out for five months and I was working a job with Crest Oral B where I was traveling the country to do conventions and the people who ran the presentation company Scott and Kim they're just amazing human beings, godly people. One of the first conservatives I really was around consistently. We used to debate about conservatives, liberalism, all that stuff and I had an incident happen in month five. I was out at work and, um, you know,

a couple of people there pulled me aside and talked to me. And the difference now than it was before I got in, uh, I went to AA was, um, they would say like, Hey, I'm only saying this cause I love you. This time I could hear it. Where at the time before I was like, no, I was just unlucky. No, I know you love me, but I was just unlucky. No, it's not me. You know, this time I was like, no, I was just unlucky. No, I know you love me, but I was just unlucky. No, it's not me. This time I was like, wow, yeah, it is true.

Cause I saw it. All right, they say you can have a belly full of alcohol, but a head full of AA, and you're just like not gonna be happy drinking, right? And so two people from work talked to me on the side. And then when I got back to LA, the couple called me, the people who own it, and we had a great conversation. They cried on the phone together. Like it was just like they were just like we got you no matter what and

At this point the next time I was gonna see them was gonna be in Was gonna be in end of March and so I was Had just gotten the place. I was staying was only a sub late lease So it was only there for six months. So I needed a new place So I was looking around and a guy went to high school with let me stay in his sunroom and an air mattress that deflated at night. So by the time the more slowly, so about the morning I was literally waking up on the floor every day.

Sure. That's every mattress. Actually had a pretty good one from my mother-in-law recently that worked like gangbusters is automatic, but we, that's another story. And so I'm waking up literally on the floor every morning and I would, on March 15th of 2000, 2016, I decided I was like, I'm going to go back in the rooms. And so I get up to, I think I, I think I have my rollerbl blades at the time. So roller blade to the meeting. I walk in and the first one I look,

I look over to the left and I see my first acting teacher from college and he's like, hey, and there's a seat right there. He'll be like, he just points to the seat. And I'm like, oh, I look up the other way and I see this girl, beautiful blonde girl, former playboy model who I met two months earlier at a friends,

like football, basketball, all Chicago party, right? It was by Chicago Bulls Bears. And I brought a whiskey and I was like, hey, you want whiskey? She's like, oh no, I'm sober. I was like, oh, I used to do that, but I passed. Now I'm looking at her and she's like, hi. I'm like, oh, I'm supposed to be here.

So I sat down and it was, that that that time going into sobriety. The second time was different because I actually read the big book. We did the step work from the big book. Uh, I was, uh, I was part of the community. I would, you know, lead meetings. I would be a secretary, a coffee, like I would be a part of it. So it was different this time. I was like, this is what you have to do. Um, my friend and I, we started, uh, we did a business and so we got this house. He was living with his wife and kids, so he couldn't be there.

So I was the one that was going to manage the house, which then I got into this four bedroom house with a pool in the backyard. And I'm going to, to, I'm saying, I'm like, I have to stay sober. This guy, this is my best friend I've known since we were 17. He's putting money into this thing. I can't mess up. So sobriety became real to me in a different way than just wanting people not to be upset with me.

It was a real way of like, look, I have to show my appreciation for him. Cause if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't, who knows where I'd be right now. And if it wasn't so sobriety, he wouldn't trust me to be in this situation. And ultimately he wouldn't trust me around his kids, my god sons who I love to death, you know? And, um, you know, it was, uh, man, I just, God has been so good to me because

there's so many things I just, I've done in the past to him, let alone to just my, my own mother and, and, and relationships that I shouldn't be in the space that I'm in based off my own thing. You know? Um, it was, uh, it was, it was, it was crazy cause it just all made sense. I started making sense and then boom, everything turned around. I'm living in a nice place My acting career from 2000 to 2017 I get literally I don't have to audition I get Reached out to on Facebook. Hey, I'm doing a movie in Liberia. Do you want to be in it? I'm like what?

So I get to travel to Liberia for the first time as an adult to shoot a movie about the history of the country Yeah, it was it's called Providence Island if you want to see a really average D.D. But it was beautiful. But it was beautiful because it was the first major film shot in Liberia. All right. When I'm driving, we're driving to, the first day we were there we were doing a program

for the locals, like the acting and directing and all this, which is really great. And as I'm coming in, my mom, I'm talking to my mom on the locals, like the acting and directing and all this, which is really great. And as I'm coming in, my mom, I'm talking to my mom on the phone like, hey, I made it. She goes, hey, I was reading the script. You know that church you're doing it in? I was like, yeah, she goes, that's your grandfather's church. I was like, what?

You didn't know that? I had no idea. Wow. Cause unfortunately my family, my mom's side, we didn't really talk about the history. I've only really started finding out about my history in the last like four to six years and I Go there and I'm going up to do the acting portion of it and I'm but don't want to do improv

So I bring two people up and now to speak English in Liberia, but it's patois. So it's very colloquial It's like hard hard accent sometimes to really understand. So I'm in there I go I'm gonna speak very clearly very precisely be very clear with my words so they can understand. So we're doing an improv thing and I'm just really into it. I'm sweating. I'm an easy sweater if you already can't tell. I just sweat easily. And so I'm sweating. They're really getting into it. And after we were done the other actor who was from Ghana, he comes up and he's like, hey Siakaaka. I'm like, what's up? He goes, just so you know, man,

no one understand what you just said. I was like, what? And everyone starts laughing. I'm like, what? And I'm like sitting there sweating, thinking I just did, I just put it on. You know, I was like, you're gonna get all of my experience. And he's like, no one understand a word you said.

I'm like, oh, all right, well, I guess we'll do that again. Yeah, I was like, that sucked. But no, it was a great experience. And I never the, my big scene is in the church and I'm sitting in, we'll get into church. I'm sitting there, I'm looking around, I look up and on the, there's a plaque of pastors. And I see my grandfather's name on that plaque. The first time you're seeing it. The first time I'm seeing any of this stuff. First time I've heard about it,

it was on the phone a couple of days earlier. Now I'm sitting there looking at this and I'm just like, whoa. No, but I mean, is that the first time you're noticing his name on the plaque or did you notice it when you first came in? I noticed it when I first came in in a sense of like, wow, this happened. But the scene, I'm sitting here and I look,

I'm just like, this is, this is God. Like how, I didn't, I didn't do enough acting work in my mind to believe that I'm supposed to, now I earn the right to be here or anything like that. It's like, look what God's given me with what I love to do. And that's when God was starting to get even more real, not something about the stuff, but the overall like every impact where I'm like, how did I get here? You know?

And then career wise, I started booking TV shows and commercials left and right and movies. So I was going going I was working until 2020 I Remember one of my friends who've been in industry was a child actor. I was like, yeah, he goes What are you up to knows like I'm just acting bro, and he gave me a stat He goes, you know only 1% of actors say they can they only act to take care of their expenses I'm like, whoa, he's like, you made it, you're 1%.

And I was like, wow. It really took me back, because it was always in his mind of like, I can't wait till I make it. And now I'm in here, I'm doing the stuff. I'm on phone calls to be like, we're gonna go overseas to shoot a movie, I'm on TV shows.

One commercial I shot, I shot a commercial for Comcast one week. The following week came back and these guys were like sending me, or it was Bank of America one week. Next week I'm doing Comcast one week, the following week came back and these guys were like sending me, or it was a Bank of America one week. Next week, I'm doing Comcast and these guys are getting me lit up and stuff. And the DP he looks over and goes, did we work with you last week? I'm like, yeah. And we're in Sony doing this. And I'm just like, wow, this is, I had made made it, you know? Um, it was, yeah, it was really,

it was really amazing, man. It was, it was really cool till 2020. Yeah. I was actually in California from 2012 to about 2015. So we were just up the road from each other. You just missed me. Just missed you. Maybe we bumped into each other. And, and 15, you probably would have gotten a different type of guy. I would have been a nice type of guy. I would

have been a nice guy and all that, but I was trying to let's go out and drink. Let's get after it, bro. Yeah. Yeah. It was definitely a different, a different time. And yeah. And I was thinking, you know, our deepest desire, and this is, if we know it, it's so we know it superficially, but it is one of the deepest truths of us, I think. Our deepest desire is to be seen and to be loved. Seen, known and loved. And if we won't be loved, then, okay, then I'd rather not be seen. But if I can be unseen and kind of loved, and by loved I mean accepted, I'll settle for that. That feels good. I mean, that's what we're doing, aren't we?

Like as teenagers, what you were doing, I said, I just want to be accepted. I'll settle for that. That feels good. I mean, that's what we're doing, aren't we? Like as teenagers, what you were doing. I said, I just want to be accepted. That's really what it was. But then it's not enough, right? Cause I know who I am. Like I know the wretch that I am. I want you to see me, really to know me and to love me. That's a scary place to be.

Well, Nina, and also in that, I was always into like comics and sci-fi. And so I thought thought because I started getting recognition from women because of football. So at the same time I was like, I was part of me was I think I was afraid that if anyone really got to know what I really liked they wouldn't like me. Okay. So when football wasn't happening, yeah. Well this thing can is what they like. Let me do this thing so that they can like me.

They don't need to find out about the other stuff yet, about I like Sarah McLachlan and all that stuff. I like to cry in the dark now. It's like, and so I was always very, I remember one girl said to me, they were like, yeah, you know, the girls say you're different. I was like, what does that mean?

Am I different? They're like, ah, they just think you're a little more sensitive. I'm like, oh damn, that's not a good thing. You know, because I wasn't just, you know, in and out and didn't care in that way. I was, even if I was moving that way, I always tried to like, you okay? You know, everything's good, you know.

But it ultimately was to be seen. And for the women, they gave me the validation, you know, with being with them. And the guys gave me validation because I was getting be seen. And for the women, they gave me the validation, you know, with being with them and the guys gave me validation cause I was getting the women. So I was getting validation in some way that then I wasn't getting, uh, because of football, which I had wrapped my identity in. And that, you know, looking back, that was a mistake. So 2020 hits and what, everything shuts down or? Yeah, everything shuts down.

Things change? I was actually, so March 15th, my sobriety date is actually the Ides of March, right? If you know Shakespeare, Shakespeare and Julius Caesar writes Beware the Ides of March, which is March 15th when he was killed. It's a big moment in the play too. So I'm like, wow, that happened to be my sobriety date, which is a play. Like kind of as an actor, you're like, wow, that happened to be my sobriety date, which is a play. Like kind of as an actor, you're like, oh, that's good.

And so I was doing a play and I got to a point where, yeah, I'm working a lot, but the audition process was hitting this. It was getting really frustrating to audition. You know, you get like eight to 10 pages, you memorize it all, you do work for the character, you're ready to go and you kind of feel this is yours. You go in, they love what you do,

but you don't get the part. You're like, ah, I'm just getting sick and tired of that process. Like I just want it to, if you want me to work, bring me in, I'll do my job, right? Yeah. And- Yeah, it's like, keep getting your hopes up,

just have them dashed, that's gonna be tiring. There was this one, ah, there was this one Russel Brothers show called Citadel. And I had gone in, I read for one of the leads, the casting director, I was on the last ones there, the casting director stands up and applauded and came and gave me a hug. And I'm like, it was for Amazon.

I was like, this is it. I was like, this is the show. This is it, I'm ready to rock, let's go, right? And weeks passed and I'm hitting on my agent, I'm like, or manager, I'm like, hey, do you find out what's going on here? Oh, nothing yet, nothing yet, nothing yet. Fast forward a month later, she was like,

oh, they moved casting to England. So I was like, that stuff can happen, which has nothing to do with me or my talent, it's just what they'll do for whatever reason. And so I lost, it was just that getting tired of that. And so I wanted to get the love of the process back. So what do I do? I go back to a play because that's where I was first, you know, love the process. And I was doing this play, it was a new play is called like four funerals, I think it was or something like that. And it was like movement and dance and music. It was kind of a dreamy type of play.

So it's in and out of reality. So you don't know if that scene was real or what they're seeing over here. It was really kind of out there play. So it was like exactly what I know it needed to be in. And I was loving the process. I was loving the people I was working with. There was a dance number in there I did,

which was like to be doing movement and dance. And a lot of people, the stuff that I've done, I don't get to do all my abilities like to move like that. I don't really get to do that. Just usually it's right here. Yeah. Face and your mode. And that play was supposed to open on March 15th of 2020.

Yep. And so they had the stuff started coming out, uh, two weeks slow spread, what's going on this, that, and the other, and then they shut it down and they shut it down. And I was like, wow, huh. Okay, well those first couple of weeks, those first, that first month was awesome in LA cause you can get to anywhere in 20 minutes. You know, I lived by the airport,

so planes weren't flying over for a while. And it was just, my best friend took off with his kids back to Nebraska where he's from. So he was like, I'm not, just in case it blows up in LA. So I'm basically in this house by myself with my dog. We're just chilling. It was like one of the nice little moments

that had in a sense to come before the storm. So then, you know, the summer started to happen. Then we started seeing what was going on there. But me and my best friend, he came back. We started arguing about, he's like, oh, the country's lost. I'm like, no, I'm seeing online was going on there, but me and my best friend, he came back, we started arguing about, he's like, oh, the country's lost. I'm like, no, I'm seeing online, people are fighting. And he's like, okay.

The next day we go down to a, we started doing recall Gavin Newsom, we started doing the recall tables. What do you mean people are fighting? You said people are fighting. They're fighting back because he was like, the country's lost. In what sense?

If they're going to vote for Trump or not. And when did you fall politically? At this point I was, I was, I started becoming conservative. I voted for Trump in 2016, but I kept my mouth shut cause I was in Hollywood and I watched people lose their minds. I watched people start to call Trump supporters, all these different names. And I'm, I'm sitting there quietly because what they're doing and unbeknownst to them is their racism is showing by assuming because I'm black I didn't vote for

Trump so they can say whatever they want around me about people like my best friend I've known since I was 17 so when they're saying this stuff about people I'm just like I'm just sitting here going wow you're such a garbage human being you're a terrible person you don't even see it I remember we did this acting group where we're online doing zoom together just to kind of keep up the skill. And one lady with black girl, she's like, we're talking about something and she goes, yeah, I don't really hang out with white people like that. Like,

and she gave it a look like, it's like, and I'm just like, and I looked down measure that was reversed. Exactly. I'm looking down. One guy was from Iran and one girl's from Israel and then the other guy was black and I was black and it, I think it was a white girl too. So they kind of like accepted it. And I remember I was reading something for the, for what I was going to read. And I was looking now she said, and I'm just like, I'm like, don't look up. Cause if I look up, I'm going to show it. Yeah. Right. So I just was like, and then they all started laughing. I know white guys.

And I'm just like, this is crazy. And I've heard it before, but for some reason it just hit really hard at this. Did you ever lean that way? Was that ever a temptation? No, no, no. Where does it come from? Well, I mean, maybe it's a, maybe it's a bigger question I'm asking because you said you grew up in the eighties and nineties and it didn't seem like a big deal. No, it didn't.

And I'm not from America, so I'm actually asking you, like, was there a point where things changed? It was, it was the cancel culture that made it okay to completely dis white men, especially like that, the toxic masculinity type of trope. It wasn't, um, because it was, it started just like I would say the daily wires or not daily wired, um, the daily show made it okay to ridicule Republicans for what their side was. And once you can start ridiculing people, it can easily move into just like disregard and, and, and ultimately hate, hate for them. All right. And so you saw,

I saw that in the daily show in the early 2000s and saw how they made everything that a Republican would say, which is already crazy. Then it got to a point where it's, they're the bad guys. And the same thing happened with white guys, where it's like, you can make fun of them, ha ha ha, they're not really, they're always like this, I'm not like that, you know, and these, everyone else is better.

Then it hit a point where we gotta get rid of them, type of mentality. So people could say these things around there. And it started coming from white people also. So it wasn't just coming from minority communities, came from white people as white man. I need to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. As a white woman at my end. I'm like, I'm like, wow, this is crazy. And I've had nothing but, uh, I've had great experiences with all races, you know? So it's like, how can you say all one side is one way or, or not?

Like that's crazy. Some of my best friends, you know, are white. My, my best friend's black. No, uh, you know, it's like that kind of thing. And so I, I think it's, I think it just came from, I think it came from the being okay to cancel people. Did you have friends at the time who you could look to and go, am I crazy? Or are what they say? This seems like the actual racism when they're saying, we, you know, assuming you must vote Democrat because you're black.

Yeah. I mean, my, that was the thing. My best friend, Brian and I, and I said, we met back in 1997 on our recruiting visit. He played baseball. I played football and our recruiting visit. I was like, man, did you come here? It's going to be awesome. He's like, ah, baby. And, uh, we just, we were just, we hit it off and been cool. And I didn't know at the time either he was, he believed in Jesus and he was a conservative the entire time. And yet he was just like, and I already, at that time I had an idea of what Republicans were, which wasn't him. And I'm like, whoa, it kind of blew my mind as we got,

as we got to know each other and then we, you know, going through LA trials and tribulations together. I'm like, whoa, it kind of blew my mind as we got as we got to know each other And then we you know going through LA trials and tribulations together. I'm like this guy's is there He has my back what no, I was like I have Mexican half white but so a hov z But he but he could pass as a white guy. I'm just you know, it's true He's he's one of those guys that like he could look Armenian He wanted to or he could look like, you know, a straight white boy. And it's like, so he kind of always kind of floated. He was one of those guys where he allowed himself to float.

But during this time where you're experiencing, what do they call that? They kind of say awakening. What's that? Awakening. Yeah, well, I just I guess do you have friends in your life who you're trying to process this with? Like, hey, these people are saying this and it seems racist to me. Yeah. Do, I just, I guess, do you have friends in your life who you're trying to process this with? Like, Hey, these people are saying this and it seems racist to me. Do you have friends? Yeah. So I had Brian actually had this other guy that grew up. He was like four years older than me, grew up in the same hometown and black guy,

Nigerian. So he, so the other thing too is African parents raise their black kids differently than black American parents. Okay, yeah. Because they don't have, I mean, where do they come from? They come from a place where it's all black people. Yeah. So they don't have, oh, the man, it's either you do

or you didn't. That's it. Right? So they come here with that mentality. So while there still be the idea of racism that exists, it's not the reason why you don't get your education, you don't get a good job, you don't take care of the stuff you need to take care of.

That's not an excuse. Which I found that was different between my black American friends and my African friends. It was just like, that's not what it was. So this guy was like, he was spotting this stuff early. So he was dropping, I mean, it hit a point where he was dropping so much like, what's really going on type of stuff. I got paranoid.

There are points where like I would sleep, I would sleep during the day cause I felt safer in a night. I'd stay up because I'm like, they know that I know now. Hang on. Yeah. Break that up. They know that I know what does that mean? It's like, they know that I know this whole thing is just all a Psyop against us, like against the average person. This is, this is like 2012. So still, you know, drinking a little bit. So I was like, they know that I know this whole thing is just all a Psy-op against us, like against the average person. This is, this is like 2012. So I was still, you know, drinking a little bit.

So I was like, that didn't help. But he was breaking down like, oh, well this is to actually do this to get us all to kill us at the end of the day or the education system. To kill who? The people in general. Like the education system is set up to keep you dumb so that they can use, you know, they can rob you blind. Abortionists sit there and push in a certain community cause they want to

ultimately end, you know, Brown and black people's, uh, a chance to grow as a population. All these things that was pitched as healthcare, good for you. This is what you like. All these things he was pointing out and showing me the, the, uh, um, the, the origins of them and who it came from. You're like, wait, that's a Nazi. Wait, that's eugenics. Wait, that's, they're trying to destroy us. Wait a minute. Margaret Sanger, and they, they're trying to, you know, sorry, we're learning about the welfare state and how, and after the 60, 64, 65 civil rights act, that was actually the beginning of the end for the black family.

Okay. You need to slow down for me. And I apologize. No, no, no. I get into it. The reason is I'm not from here. So I'm still learning. So I had my own kind of interpretation of what was going on when I arrived here. Like I remember when I arrived here, I felt like there was this, I don't know, people were trying to tell me I was racist.

And I remember being afraid to even admit that I think that it seems like people are doing that in case that made me a racist for noticing that because being a racist is one of the worst things you actually could be. You know, almost to be that. Exactly. And we all, if we're decent people, want to be reflective and go, well, if I am, I actually don't want to be like that. What I didn't realize at the time is that was all, I was being manipulated. Um, so now I have no problem. If you call me a racist, I'm happy to tell you to go to hell. The hand basket, you know, no, cause I know I'm not.

And that's what more people should do. Now I think now people are waking up to it. Because there was a time where you're called that it's you just, it's like you can't advance the argument cause you're too busy apologizing for nothing. But that's the point. That's the old you can't advance the argument cause you're too busy apologizing for nothing. But that's the point. That's the old rules for radicals. That's Saul Alinsky, you know, it's like, if you can get people to defend as opposed to go on offense,

then I know, you know, a little bit about that, but I didn't know that was part of it. That was part of it. That's funny that I just accidentally articulated that. Yeah. It's the color revolution is what they do. Right. And I actually saw this movie called called coddling of the American mind it was based off that book and Went to the premiere of that and it was really interesting because they talked about the color communism or a color revolution of it

And you just pointed out you just you framed it perfectly you said Being a race is actually really bad and you don't want to be really bad So think about these kids in junior high, elementary school, junior high and high school. White straight is bad, but you could also be non-binary. You could be gay, you could be queer, you could be which likes both. So, and these are the good guys. The bad guys are white straight. Black, you're inherently just a minority and slavery. So it doesn't matter if you're straight or not. It's just, you already got it because you're black. But if you're white, you already got it cause you're black. But if you're white, you can't just be white straight

cause that's already bad. So we've seen, I think it came out a couple of years ago, how kids, this generation is identifying at a 40 to 45% clip is like LBG, L, whatever. They're identifying as that. It's like, well, cause they're teaching them in school, that's good, normal is bad. And so that's the ultimate push, which gets us to do what?

There was a group, and I don't know if you know Seth Gruber. Nice to meet you. Yeah, you should actually have him on your show. This is Seth, you know what you're mind blown about, the work that they've done to really ruin society. He did a movie called the 1916 project and, uh, in that it talks about, and I've seen the book that he got it from,

which was like this few copies left. He actually got to talk to the author. It was like 98, you know? Um, and it did a thing where, uh, Planned Parenthood worldwide, which is Margaret, Margaret Sanger's organization. They had a big meeting in England and a bunch of, uh, leaders from around the world came together And they were discussing they needed to do two things One lower marriage rates and lower birth rates. This is 1916

So in that effort one of the big moves that Margaret wanted to push was we need to move women away from motherhood to womanhood. So it changes the mentality. So while women can be like a woman's healthcare, so they remove themselves from the idea of what they're built for, which is to be mothers. Like you're built to be a father myself. Women are built to be mothers. They want to move that out of the design guys completely. Now we see where we are almost a hundred years later,

a little bit over a hundred years later. And you're like, Oh, I'm actually almost exactly on years. And you're just like, wow, they had been working on destroying the family for a long time, which is ultimately a communist thing, which is ultimately the enemy. Seth, Seth, some gray where he goes, every battle that we're facing here on earth is a proxy war for the spirit. Every battle. And when you start to really break it down from education to race relations to, you know, battle of the sexes, feminism, it's all a

battle for the Spirit. Because as I got into the Word, I started to see, wait a minute, the world's teaching me everything opposite this book. Whether somebody wants to believe in Christianity or not, I go, okay, why are they pushing everything opposite this book? We're so hard. Something's up. And they're saying it with a smile and with glitter and with big lights and smiley faces. Big lights and money and access and fun times. And so people go, well, you know, you can see how a kid, and I'll bring up like Justin Bieber, can get caught up in this, what he got caught up in with Diddy because he was like a 15 year old kid didn't know any better getting all the stuff thrown at him.

And now you see where his journey has come from the darkness to crisis as savior. And you're like, man, I just, this is the dark people. I said this to my mom when I tried to tell her stuff, I was like, you don't understand the level of darkness that exists. And I think part of it is a lot of people don't want to, and I get it, you know, it's not fun. They look into the darkness like that all the time and find out that, you know,

a whole industry that entertains you is possibly involved in destroying kids lives sexually. Like, you don't want to believe that. Yeah. You don't believe people you've listened to for advice are involved in destroying other people's lives based on the fact that they just can Yeah Yeah, it's it's um, did you what would have happened if you had have spoken up? like if somebody had of if you had said actually I'm not really gonna vote Democrat or When someone said I don't hang out with white people if you had a went that kind of sounds a bit racist

I Mean, I don't like to be white people. If you had to went, that kind of sounds a bit racist. I mean, I don't like to be, people don't like to be challenged at all. People tend to react negatively to being challenged, especially in public. But did you have any kind of private conversations with people who held different views that were open? Yes, but not as an open conservative. Okay. So you kind of hid that. Yeah. I was like, I asked questions. So I was, so this one,

I won't say the person's name cause I'm contractually obligated not to, but I worked with a brother, one of the biggest stars in the world and we're putting together this script for, for a movie and we were working together. We worked together for like five years on this and in, uh, I think it was the midterms they did did a, they hosted like a, uh, they hosted a no, it was 2016 actually. They hosted a whole, uh,

a props party where you come and read the props and see what's this, that and the other. And one of them was a bathroom thing. Like what the sign did, well, what if somebody believes they are going to bathroom and stuff like that. And I go, I remember asking, I go, I was like, how do we know that they actually are truly what they say they are? Like, why would we just give them access like that? Could I just say that right now and could I be allowed?

And his wife, her reaction was the same reaction that I saw, because one of the things about being an actor, at least for myself, is I recognize patterns really quickly, right, memorizing lines and kind of seeing how the rhythm of a scene should play out. And so I recognized the way she responded was exactly the same way people responded about when there was a pushback against the gay push

that was happening in the 90s. Like, you sure your kid's gay? Oh, he's born that way. They know it in their souls and da, da, da, da, da. How dare you even question? She literally went the same way. And I'm like, it just, interesting. It pulled me back. And I'm like, well,

all I'm saying is there should be something to just, that we should know better. And she's like, I mean, I've spoken to these kids and they're crying and I'm like, Oh, okay. Like, like what is that? I'm like, what, why does that, why does that matter? You know? But I just the reaction I'm like, I'm like, we can't have like a rational reaction. Exactly. And so I saw also in satanists and new sums up, someone was up in that. And then with that same guy, do you remember the Covington Catholic kid,

right? That big thing. And I remember watching that and finding out kid in particular, right? And he was standing there and he had the smirk. This is like, I mean, I like everybody. When I saw that, I when I first saw that, well, his was funny. You get lied to enough by the mainstream media and you just start to doubt everything, no matter how it looks. Exactly. I think certainly after that experience, because he did. He looked like a smug jerk when they framed it the way that they did,

when they cut it the way that they did when they cut it the way that they did You're like, oh wow. Okay, and then as somebody who you know, it doesn't want to be racist. You're like, okay Well, this is something I can get really on board with I didn't do this But you could see how you can accept it you go. Yeah, I can see it But then when they backed it up and the whole thing and you're seeing this kid he was he was terrific He was stoic. It was it was That was an example. I didn't know at the time. That was a Christ like example where he stood there and there was a moment,

if you go back and watch it, where he almost broke and he almost, like it almost broke him. You see him, he's like, and his, and I saw his criffer like it was about to, and he just, God bless. And I was like, Whoa, what a man. And so that, that, that, uh, that guy was talking about, he's like, Oh, I mean, like these covenant, the Catholic kid wearing the MAGA hats and they're just this, that, and the other. And I'm like, I'm like, and this guy has a son, a son who was, I think 20 something at the time I go, I go, yeah, but you know,

that was just a kid, man. A kid's like 17. Now at this point, did you realize that he was, he was the victim in this? Oh yeah. Cause I'd already voted for Trump and I was, I was hearing how people were talking about like, these people are crazy. But you're just like gently trying to nudge people without going all in. Yeah, but being like,

are we really thinking about this properly? Yeah. Right. And so I'm like, that's a 17 year old kid. I'm like, well, if that was your 17 year old kid, would you think the same thing? He's like, well, he wouldn't do that. I'm like, but he's a kid. How come no one's talking about the grown adult getting in his face with like a

stick and a drum. He's like, he's like, man. And he said this to me. And I'm nervous as well. He goes, man, cause I initially started off on how he was feeling just bothered by what happened. I got, he goes, this isn't helping me feel better right now. And I'm like, maybe it's not about you. Yeah, I was like, shouldn't you want to, don't you want to know the whole story? Like, why would you just want to know? Cause I was talking about someone else.

And I was like, wow. Like it really, I'm a wow. We can't have a conversation. Like it's just there. Like you're just in that space. Like there's can't be anything else. You can't put your son, your seven, remember when you were 17?

Yeah. Remember the stupid things you did? Right. And then to be, whatever the situation is to me and my belief outside of physically beating down some old homeless guy, that scenario for you, you, you put more onus on the adult. You have to, that's a kid. You teach him, you don't sit there and berate him. You don't sit there and plaster him everywhere and say, he's the face of hatred in America. Like what? It's a 17 year old kid who was like,

you can tell like he hasn't even, his whiskers weren't even coming and his cheeks were getting red. You could see it. Like, what are we, what are we doing? Like what? It just really bothered me that this is where we went as a country that we were going to pile on top of a child.

Right. Like what? And any type of conversation was someone was like, went as a country that we were going to pile on top of a child. Like what? And any type of conversation was someone was like, I'm not, I'm not comfortable with this anymore. And I'm like, Oh wow. Wow. Something. It just, it, it kept, I mean, I know this is a common phrase now. The first time I heard it was from Rogan when he talked about this phrase, ideologically captured. That's, that's, that's unfortunately what happens. What do you think that means? I mean, I know it speaks for itself, but.

I mean, it means that when people get into that, and I think it works in a few different ways, like you're it's cult like, I mean, it's very cult like. The word cult is often used as a four letter pejorative. You know, people throw that word around far too often. They'll say things like Mormonism is a cult. It's like, no, it's it. I mean, tell me what a cult means. Cause if all you're doing is disparaging religion by, give me a, give me a concrete definition.

I think part of it is just a complete unwillingness to consider another view, to consider maybe all views as apart from your own, that differ from your own, in any way evil, very insular, maybe having some kind of overlords that you can't question. Also that part, it can't be questioned at all. That's what makes it a cult to me. Because I love when people want to question Christianity. I'm like, let's go. I'm ready. I feel like I'm a lot more armed with the armor of God on. And you can consider other people's worldviews. I can hear I can. Well, I can I can sit in a place like this. I'm a little more I would say a lot more rigid now because I live that in that

secular darkness. I lived it hard. I lived it hard. You can you can you can hear where they're coming from. But here's what I'm saying. You could articulate their position, maybe even better than they could. Which is a sign that you have kind of gotten inside of that world. Like I think I could probably do a good job explaining why I'm an atheist in a kind of acting sort of way. Same thing with being a maybe a Protestant who are obviously a lot closer to Catholics or, you know, I could, I could get inside the head in a way that I think the Protestant,

atheist, Muslim, whoever could kind of respect that I'm trying to understand, even if they would correct me here and there. Whereas I feel like maybe when you're ideologically captured, you're incapable of even doing that because the other person is just holy evil. That's it. That's it right there. That's the difference. The difference is, and I did a post on this on X. I'm like, the difference that I've seen between Republicans and Democrats is that Democrats Republicans think Democrats are people with bad ideas. Democrats think Republicans are just bad people with ideas.

I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's true because I think that there's a lot of Republicans right now who are riding off Democrats as essentially possessed somehow. Well, I'll tell you like this. Oh, let me just wrap it up by saying, obviously there are wicked ideas on both platforms. this. Oh, let me just wrap it up by saying, like, you know, obviously, there's, there's, there's

with there are wicked ideas on both platforms. I voted for Trump. I was happy to vote for him. Thrilled that he got elected. Don't get me wrong. But I do. I wouldn't say it's that clean cut. I I've heard people say that before, but I can see Republicans. I can see, let me put it this way. I can see the pendulum swinging. So you've been called evil and racist and Hitler for so long and you've just done your best to try to navigate this space I think we got to be on guard against now not not falling into the same era We believe our democratic friends have by then demonizing everybody on the other side. I guess I'm going off my experience and Hollywood is a extreme version of,

because they're, they're the propaganda arm. That's like the democratic party steroids. Whatever work I've experienced, probably nothing like what you saw. I mean, the, the it's, I heard one guy that play I was doing that got canceled. He was talking to the director, a gay man. He goes, man, I'd love to punch a Nazi. I'm just like, what?

Like, what are you talking about, dude? I'm like, this is the gay guy in the comfortable, sorry, the uncomfortable LA saying this stuff that if he was ever really around a Nazi and outnumbered, he wouldn't do anything. And that's the mentality. That's how they move like that. And I was, and I, again,

now that's a good point. I'm skewed on that point. I've never encountered, you know how people talk about like living your truth and whatever the hell that means, but like you as a black man in America have an experience of America that I don't, like as an Australian immigrant, white guy in America, right?

Okay, well, let me give you my experience. If we're supposed to be given our experiences, I'm a conservative Christian. I run circles mostly with white conservative Christians. I have never once had somebody say, use the N word in front of me in a disparaging way, like who speak badly about, that just has not happened to me. I've been called a lot and it's mostly by black men. So as they're sitting there, warned me that it may come out of your mouth,

that's not where it came from. A fully it came from black guys. And again, I'm not saying it doesn't happen. It's just that, if you want to take my experience of meeting a lot of white conservative people, I haven't encountered white people who are like, I hate black people or anything remotely. Like if anything, I feel like they bend over backwards way too much. They should. Yeah. Seriously, that's the thing I've experienced.

I've got one time in college, I was half-assing a paper or a test. And it was like a, it was a history class, it was about like the Chinese dynasties or something from a certain time period. And I didn't want to take the time to remember the names. I was like, well, I'll give you the gist of what happened. Like this guy went to this guy killed his mom

and then I runs it. And the teacher who was a TA, bless you, the TA goes, he gives me a B. And I was like, great, I got a B on mine. He goes, yeah, you know, I saw, he's like, I see you're a football player, you're working hard. And you know, I get what's going on in your life. And I was sitting there going, geez,

this guy's just giving me a pass. All right. And just took it. But that's ultimately the problem. Yeah. What is this? What does this mean? The racism of low expectations? What is what that is? Yeah. Because it comes down to, Oh, based on, and then I have a name like Siaka Masawa. So it's like, based on that, life must inherently be hard for you. And so I believe, I know I did this. I believe kids will find opportunities to take advantage and they will take it if

the adult is going to give it to them. If they're smart enough. And so I was, I used it. I was like, okay, this guy's going to give, I'm not going to say no, I'm see you later. Right. And, but this is when I was really in that throws the throws of it. And one of the reasons why I do say, um, and, and, and I hope that I think that this election will change that mentality. So we'll break through the cult light atmosphere, which is Republicans are bad people with ideas.

Cause that's where I was taught. We were raised Republicans are bad. When I found out a certain person's dad Was a Republican I was like It took me I had to like breathe about it Like what is that this guy? His father has been nice to everyone on the football team in high school for the whole time this guy's senior year wore the exact same Outfit all your shorts and a and a t-shirt Leading up even to the cold the coat and didn't let his beard like cut because he was like, this is my thing for you guys. Like I'm doing this all season.

And you found out he was a Republican years later. And I was like, really? He was kind, but he was cool and nice. And his mom was, I remember they let us in the house, like all this stuff, bro. So like, I can understand where you're coming from. When you say, well, we don't want to do that. But like at the same time, this is where I've, I've lived in thinking this and being supported with other people going, yeah, do you up? Don't want to trust them. I see. So it's like, it sucks because I had to, when I started doing that,

correct Cresto or a B job and I was traveling around the country, I was working with a lot more conservatives and Republicans. And that's, that's what broke me out of it because I was, we were initially just treating each other as people and then when I find out after I'm like, well, she's awesome. He's cool as all get out. Huh? Huh? Then I come back to Hollywood and I'd hear, then I go back out, go to like New York, go to Florida to work with them for three days

and be like, wow, I just enjoy these people better than most of the people I'm just around in LA. That's what we think the way I do. They seem happier or? They seem happier, they're more genuine. That's a big thing. Again, I think my experience is a little skewed because it's LA.

LA is a very, LA, San Francisco, parts of Chicago can be, but not too much. But being there in LA, I go back to LA and I'm around people who are like these Republicans, right? They're trying to destroy everything and they're just so hateful and they're so this. And then I'd go back out travel. It was a time. It would be like four times a year, four or five times a year. I'd go once a month to go travel, come back to LA with the craziness,

go back out and see normal people who are trying to just, you know, just be in there trying to understand. I want to ask everyone who's watching right now, give us your, yeah, give us your take below. Is this what you've encountered? And I'd love to read these comments. I always, I always come at this as a bit of an outsider. That's, which is good though, because I think there's, you can, you can have an understanding of what I'm saying and still move the way you're moving because that's important because I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing, Hey, maybe that area you have to

know it's a little more dangerous, but doesn't mean you change who you are because it's more dangerous. It just means that you're aware. That's all. And I think hopefully this is what this election and him winning the way he won can break through. So a lot of people on the left, a lot of people I've known on the left can go through what I went through. And I went through it, I think, um, the best way possible where I had to work with people, we're being around, we're spending time

watching UFC fights together, we're having a great time. So I got to interact not from wow I was just wrong because I think this election really shocked a lot of people by how wrong they were about where they were sitting. Men do you feel stuck in old idols or burdened by the pharaohs of our time? Do you know that you're capable of so much more than you're giving today? Exodus 90 is the number one freedom app to help you become the man you were created to be. Exodus 90 is a powerful 90-day journey to freedom in Jesus Christ, and it starts on January 20th. I've met so many men from all around the world who have been blessed by Exodus 90. So download the Exodus 90 app today

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for the country or not. And I thought they were, because that's what I saw on YouTube. He thought they weren't because he was watching Alex Jones. He was like, it's all coming down. You know, Alex is right. You're going to do it tomorrow. You know? And so, is this your friend who went back to Nebraska? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he was like, I'm out of here. Right. He took off with his boys. And so the next day he comes to me and goes, Hey, there's a, he's like,

there's a recall table down in Long Beach. We can go down there and do a recall of Gavin Newsom, which was the largest recall of any governor in American history. Um, so we went down there and, uh, of course, there's predominantly Trump supporters and there's a sweet little, uh, Filipino woman, Rachel, that just a fairy godmother. She was there and we had, uh, Brian had put together like this list of Gavin Newsom's greatest hits. And so when people drove up and come to sign a petition,

we'd give them that as well. So we were like, Oh, we can help them out. Like, here you go. Let's see how bad it really is. Right. You know? Um, and so we were doing that and it was really great and somebody had a microphone and Rachel's like, Hey, do you want to get on the mic for a little bit? I was like, Oh, okay. You know, and I'm just like, come on in, you know, and we're at the sheriff's office and across the street was a Home Depot, a big Plaza. And I start to just go off because this stuff really, it really hurts me inside because people are missing what they're, what's happening to them.

You know, from the black community, where fathers aren't around and these single mothers are either they're killing their kid in their womb before they even come out or we're killing each other on the street at such a high rate where our black population in America has been stagnant since the passing of Roe v. Wade, 13%. The only time a population that stagnant or drops

is in a war. And that's been happening since that pass. And yet you interesting. And what was Margaret Sanger's reason to start Planned Parenthood was to eliminate the Negro race. When you say that, like, no, no, no, no. And you're like, wow, we've really that loss that they're, they're, they're pushing more youth that come up down this path of death. And then they were like, Gavin released like all these prisoners back out into this society, like during, you know, after COVID and stuff like that,

or before or during COVID, he was like, Oh, got it that's safer to get them out of jails. I'm like, wait a minute. During the riots. This is a part is right before the riots. Right. So you're like, wait, what's going on? What are you doing? And I'm like, wait a minute. Is this during the riots? This is a part, it was right before the riots, right? Okay, sorry, yeah. So you're like, wait, what's going on? What are you doing? And I'm like, what do you think? And I remember getting on the mic and I go, and he just released, it was,

I wanna say it was like 250,000 prisoners. And he's like, he just released them. And where do you think they're gonna go? They're not gonna come to this neighborhood. They're gonna the same poor black and brown neighborhoods. You're saying you're supported politicians to help. What is that about? And I was just going off and off and I was like,

and it's like shaking. I had to put the mic down in a way. And I'm like, Whoa, your grandfather preaches. Oh man. I, God rest his soul. Cause I do think that God is preparing me for something like that. Praise God. You know, and it's like, and we can get into that later, but then we went to that. Then we went to a Huntington beach to the pier where on TV, I'd see Nazis on the, you know, skinheads are doing this. They're like, okay, it's going to be kind of crazy. So we get there and there was like BLM and some people were debating.

And so I've been watching Candace Owens and Charlie Kirk debate and do all that stuff. So I've been kind of ready to go. So we get up and we get in there and then I start right in the middle. I'm right there in the middle of everyone and you know, predominantly black folks and are like, what about this, whatever that? And this one girl, she was talking. And I'm like, she's like, this town is predominantly white

and da, da, da, da, da, they don't care about me. I go, have you ever went to any of the churches and asked for any help? She's like, no. I'm like, well, there you go. I was like, why don didn't care about me. I go, have you ever went to any of the churches and asked for any help? She's like, no. Well, I'm like, well, there you go. I was like, why don't you go ask? You can't expect people just to look at you and go, I need to help this person. Like that's what you're actually complaining about. Go ask, go find out if people aren't willing to help you before you sit there and espouse

anything on top of them. Like, what do we do? What is this? We should be better than this. And then we started going to the Beverly Hills rallies and that was amazing. So we went there. The first day there, it was like a hundred people. And we ended up marching down, marching down Rodeo drive and there's all these European stores like Blenciaga all this and outside the stores were I would say best I can describe them were like more like Compton black people where it is like that kind of very like I would say the cliche look if you will like the long eyelashes the nails the the very gaudy

look okay it was a bunch of them lined up to go in these stores and they were coming down and they're like, oh, Trump's board, ha ha ha, laughing. And it just pissed me off. I go, you can sit here spending your money to white Europeans while we're killing each other like it's going out of style. Yeah, keep laughing.

Let's see how much they care about that. Keep dropping your money over there and not putting it in your own community. What are we doing? And it just got me going where we walked out, I get to Willshire and I get around the corner. I'm like, I'm breathing because there's so much. And I don't know if you heard of this guy, Magga Hulk, Stephen Davis. He's amazing. So he comes around the court. He's like,

yo bro. He's like six, two black dudes, like just big, right? Magga Hulk. Right. And he's like, man, that was awesome. I'd ride with you any day. And so then we come back the other way and I'm more confident. I'm like, yeah, you know, Joe Biden's want to say he didn't want a racial jungle, you know, that's, that's, that's what it is. Like y'all know who you're voting for. Right. And we get back to the park and there's this one lady and I was going to start interviewing people cause I was like, ah,

let me interview people and put it up and this beautiful blonde woman with the ring, the size of maybe this cup, right? She's holding the sign saying, open the schools back up. And I go up, Hey, you know, can you tell me, you know, why are you here? What do you, you know, what you want to get out of this? She was like, you know, I'm here because the schools are closed and I have money and my kids will be fine. Like I have, I can have a tutors come. They'll be okay. This is like those black and brown kids, like kids in the poor communities.

They don't, they're going to fall. And she starts to cry and I'm just like, Whoa, it just hit me in a different way. I'm like, this is something else. Like people really give a damn. And this is what it looks like when they care. Not the phony stuff that I was taught in the left to wait for the government to help you. People are out here doing this. She doesn't need to be here. Right. She literally, and she's the one that actually got me connected to Prayer U and all that stuff. And I'm like, she, that's the circle she's moving in. Why does she need to help me or even care to

stand out there by herself, not with her husband and their kids, by herself with a sign saying, open schools back up. And so we started a page on Instagram, it was called Chief and the Americo, because I still was kind of hiding in plain sight. Right. Siaca meaning Chief. Yeah, you're right. Exactly.

Yeah, there you go. And Americano meaning like, is that mixture of like coffee and water, I think it is that makes it. Oh, Americano. Yeah, Americano. Since my boy is like half Mexican, half white. So, you know, so we started that page and we're doing stuff and I was actually part of a group where we're working together, a few Africans are in this group,

one African and a couple other like Americans, black Americans. And there's a picture that somebody saw on a Facebook where it's literally me sitting with four other guys, a couple wearing Maga hats, all black Puerto Ricans, one of the guys. And the next picture of me and Steven, six, two black dude muscled with the couple wearing MAGA hats all black Puerto Ricans one of the guys and the next picture of me and Stephen six two black dude muscled with the mayor make America great is the whole guy makes a mega hook guy and my friend sends me this this girl that I've known who I let stayed in my house who she's the

African girl I'd like we've been friends for a long time at this point helped her with her issues. She sends me a text and goes, hey, we gotta remove you from the project because this is a pro African project and we're pro black in Africa. And so because of this and sends the pictures that this gay black dude sent her who he saw when he saw that on Instagram or on Facebook.

He's like, here. So she literally sent me a thing where I'm in nothing with pictures, but black people and says, we got to remove you because you don't support the things that we support because we're not, we're, we're pro black hair or pro Africa. And I'm like, whoa, like this is crazy. I'm done. I was just done. I was like, this is, this is wild and the final straw they broke the camel's back was the summer of love.

Okay. When, you know, they're allowing people to destroy cities. My mom at the time was living in the South side of Chicago and that area they were letting, it was like a war. It was a war zone. I mean, people were being killed to, you know, one, two, three o'clock in the afternoon. And brought daylight guy water and never forget a guy walking his daughter back home from school. And she was like in kindergarten, guy walks up, two, three o'clock in the afternoon and met and brought daylight guy. Water never forget a guy walking his daughter back home from school. And she was like in kindergarten guy walks up boom, right in the back of the head. Like this is on, you could video this and the daughter's just sitting there holding his hand as he drops. And you're like, and, and at this time,

Megan Markle, your John legend, all these actors are starting bailout funds for these people. Kamala supported that. Kamala supported that. And I'm sitting there watching this and I'm, and then my mom tells me, she's like, oh yeah, six month old was just shot around the corner from her place in the stroller middle of the day. Oh.

And I said to myself, that's it, I'm done. I was like, and the thing is we're being told how peaceful and beautiful these protests were. That's, that's, it was disgusting. And I'll be very candid. I was like, fuck this. I'm done. I'm sitting here hiding what I believe to be around these people. That's, that's what I'm afraid of, of the judgment of these people who are okay with if my mom was killed that doesn't matter, that people have died in the middle of the street defending their own shops, black men and women, nothing. These people are bailing

them out and saying that's what's right. I was like, I'm just done. I was like, I'm done. So I just started posting on my own page stuff that was going on cuz I was like screw these people screw them I was like I didn't know what career was gonna happen after that I didn't care I was like this is something that's more important so I'm just speak for some reason people liked how I put things together when I spoke so I'd leaned more into that. I was using what guy gave me with my acting skills. Rachel asked me to come down and make a speech. I'm in my first political speech in front of like 15 people.

And this guy came up to me afterwards. He was a tall, heavy set white dude, kind of looked like a trucker. He came up to me and he's like, hey man, can I talk to you for a second? I was like, yeah, what's up? He's like, hey. He's like, yeah, I like what you said. Kind of, you know, burly what's up? He's like, hey, he's like, yeah, I like what you said.

Kind of, you know, burly guys. Like, I like what you said. And he's like, I have a friend of mine, he's black. And he goes, it's just so hard for me to talk to him. I just want to help him so much. I see what's going on. He starts to cry, man. And I'm like, these are the bad guys?

Yeah, this big white trucker. These are the guys of that white woman with the ring on her. These are the bad people, not the ones who were bailing out these criminals that were killing kids, kids, but the ones who are sitting there just cause their skin color, they're inherently bad. What it just, I was just, I was so done, Matt. Like I couldn't, I was just so done. And I was like, all right, whatever we need to do.

You say done. You mean done. Caring about hiding for this industry, for the Hollywood industry, caring about like, Oh my goodness, somebody's going to say something. I'll tell you this. When I started to be more vocal, the ones that came at me first were black people. Does he know, look at him being a coon, look at his house nigga. Oh, does he know that he's African? him being a coon? Look at his house nigga. Oh does he know that that he's African? What are those words mean coon meaning like rat coon like you're trying to you know?

It's a it's an old pejorative though. Yeah back in the day is it but why do they forget? I don't understand what that means Does it mean you're siding with the oppressor is that the idea okay? Yeah, you're cooning you're cooning around trying to play a part Oh, I know House nigga the same thing. Like you got accepted in the house and now you're going to say whatever they want you to say, which is funny because what they don't understand is that's what's happening actually on the left. Right. It's like,

if you say anything different than the black man, you're done. It's a rap. You got nothing to say. Well Obama came out and tried to say black men need to be fathers. Jesse Jackson was calling a hot mic saying this nigga is trying to tell us what to do. And you're like, no, that's a, we need to do that. I'm an example of how like it can be troublesome. I didn't thank God. I had the mom I had and, and support because I didn't go down gang, the gang road, but like, it's like,

there's so many things that I know that I'm missing because I didn't have a father around that I, outside of death or the government taking me away from my son, I'm going to be there for him for everything. And so, you know, again, I was just, I was done. I was over it. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know. I just knew let's get out there and fight.

I just knew they're trying to move in a way that was going to squeeze us. That was not natural. It wasn't right. So I got involved in all that push back against what the government was doing. And my agent dropped me through an email from, uh, he didn't actually, it was through a, an actor's access. You have an automated email where it's like, Oh, you're rep by so and so now, or so and so is no longer your rep. That's how I got it. Nope. No personal conversation. Oh yeah. I had all that stuff. No, cause I was like,

but these are the people. This is what I knew they were going to be like. My manager who was a black lesbian lady, she was, she was kind enough to put something together in an email, which was like, oh, we're downsizing. And so we're going for just picking a few clients. And I'm like, and I knew what it was really about because before 2020, literally I had two commercials running at the same time nationally.

I was booking TV shows, I was nothing. And she was like, I've never seen anyone move like this this quickly. And all of a sudden it was like, oh, we're downsizing. And so I'm shows. I was nothing. And she was like, I've never seen anyone move like this. This quick. And all of a sudden it was like, Oh, we're downsizing. And so I'm like, I get it. And I was like, to me, I'm like, I get, you can't really say what you want to say. It's fine. I'm not trying to fight you on this because I don't care what these people think anymore. Okay. So now I understand now. So when you're, when you're passionately saying I'm done, what you mean is I'm, I have to be honest,

even if it destroys everything I'm working toward and hope for. Because look at, I was like, is, I was like, I didn't want to work towards it in this way. And I, again, I did, I had no idea. Cause the only thing I had done to make money in my life was bartend and act. So I didn't know. I was like, I don't know. But I do know, I, I got to say something. I have seen people come up to me and it moves them in a way where it seemed like

it gave them encouragement in their space. So I'm like, this felt like more of a calling to, to, to keep going and keep being loud and bold with, you know, with my words. And in those Beverly Hills rallies, what you did is courageous, you know, like that's courageous. When you, when you speak in a way where you, you're going to lose everything, including friends and people are going to say things about you. That's, that's courageous.

It's not courageous to say something that Hollywood, big tech, the government and universities all celebrate. That's actually not terribly courageous. I mean, thank you for saying that. I just, it was more just, man, the best way I can describe it was a pull in my heart. Like I had to, I had to do this. I've seen people moved and I'm like, I, my, I always felt like I will be fine. I always felt like, I don't know what I'll do,

but I'll be fine. Like I feel like I'm capable, like personable. I can get, talk to anyone. I've been able to get jobs, you know, doing a bunch of their stuff. Like eventually I would be fine. But I saw how it was affecting other people who couldn't really speak a certain way, couldn't really move in a certain way. So I'm like, yeah, man, dude, you're not, you're not what they say you are, bro. You know, that's okay. Stand up for it. Love God. It's okay. And in those rallies, a lot of pastors started being around.

So I started seeing the strong Christian where I grew up with the hippie Jesus, who was like, Oh man, you know, just gotta sit back. We're good. Don't worry about it. Hey, turn the other cheek in itself. And I'm like, yeah, I'm all right. You know, like there's sometimes I always felt like you gotta stand up for something. And I didn't see that with the people of faith that I grew up with before. And I started seeing these pastors, these fiery pastors, and I was like, Whoa, wait, wait, this is okay. I know God exists because he saved my life, but this is the guy you've been talking about. And with AA, I saw in one of the rooms I used to go to, they started requiring vaccine paperwork and masks. And I'm like, I know how hard it was to walk in a room

being hopeless. Now you're gonna give somebody an excuse not to go in there. Cause also man has to do is go, oh, no. See, I knew this wasn't right for me. Let me go get that six pack again. Which could be their last six pack they ever have. That's how dangerous alcoholism is and how easily it's looking for an out. And so when they start doing that,

I was like, okay, I'm done with, I'm done with program. It can, it can move in such a way that when something comes like this, it, people will start to shift into their, their bad behavior. But I knew that bill W he was a Catholic. And so they would say, you know, the original manuscript had a bunch statement, God, God, God, God, God.

He took a lot of it out to appease like the Muslim and the, and the atheist. Right. And so I was like, okay, let me, so the impetus of this book was Christianity. Let me go see what this is about. Especially after it's now seen those, those fiery pastors like to really step up. Now at this point you are unemployed in LA. Yeah. I was just, I was living off, you know, unemployment. Yeah. I was like, all right, let's do it. And 20, you know, 2020, they're paying you to stay at

home. And, and we're, and this one time, you know, Jack Hibbs, have you heard Jack Hibbs? He's a, he's a, he's a, you should get him on the show too. Yeah. Man, I'll get you a list. He's a, he's a, you should get him on the show too. Man, I'll get you a list. So Jack was having Charlie Kirk show up there and my buddy Brian was like, Hey, we're planning to go see him. And that morning Brian's like, Oh, Hey, there's this other church called God speak. And I guess the sheriffs are ticketing them cause they stayed open cause this was when, you know, California was like, you know, you can't,

every everything closed except for strip clubs, weed shops and alcohols. Your churches and synagogues, they have to close down, but you can go, you can go look at, you know, some girls dancing. I thought you were being hyperbolic. Clubs were left open. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Straight strip clubs, weed shops and alcohol and liquor stores. The pit of hell. Yeah. And it was, it was, it, it, it can't worship Christ. They would ask people not to sing before they shut down churches.

Like you probably shouldn't sing in church. Everything the devil wants us to do, you know, he doesn't want us to worship. He doesn't want us to be around each other. He's okay with strip clubs. Okay. We weed. Yeah. And so, and Gavin Newsom is a special type of evil. He's okay with strip clubs. Okay. We weed. Yeah. And you're killing yourself. And so Gavin Newsom is a special type of evil. What was the justification for leaving strip clubs open? Do you know, it was a business. They didn't want these people to lose their jobs. These women, they also pass a law. There was, I think in 21 where they, they, uh,

decriminalized basically being a hooker because they're like disproportionately black and brown, da da da da da da. They always use black and brown as the cover to bring in their debauchery, always. Like it's really, when you end up running for office, so I have to get into like really paying attention to that and I started seeing, wait a minute, every time you guys wanna do something gross

like kill more babies, you say black and brown. When you wanna accept like debauchery in your neighborhoods, you go black and brown, like kill more babies, you say black and brown. When you want to accept like a debauchery in your neighborhoods, you go black and brown. Like what's wrong with you guys? And so talk about the racism of low expectations, the black and brown people, they need the strip and prostitute themselves. Children. They got to kill them. And then they go to jail disproportionately, because they're crack heads and those crack heads tend to be more black and brown than the killer babies. And they shouldn't be in jail for that.

What? So just let the community continue to devolve. That's fine, but then it keeps them in control. That's the whole plan. If you don't have the spirit in you working then it's like, yo, anything can come in. And so we, so Brian came up to me and was like, hey, you know, this church, God speak is going through this. He said, but they're giving up. They may give out tickets. And mind you, like you just said, unemployed. I was like, Oh man, I don't know if I can, how much are the tickets? And he's like, Oh, maybe like 50, a hundred bucks. I was like, Oh, okay. And then I said to myself in my head, I go, well,

I don't want to do it. Man. Turn to him. I go, which church do you think Jesus would go to? He goes, he'll go to church being persecuted. And I was like, damn it. I'm like, all right, let's go. So we go to this church and this is, this is when I got my first Bible that I like, that I still have to this day all in there. And, and, um, they go to this church and now at this point I've been really good with debating in the streets. So there's some protesters and I was like, you know, I'm going back and forth. My friends go, okay,

we're going inside for the service. I'm like, okay. And then I kind of do a little more before I go in, I start going in and I'm walking around the backside and I kind of don't really know where I'm going. And I turned behind. There's this older white lady. I go, Hey, do you know where we're going? She's like, Oh, I'm following you. I'm like, Oh, we're both screwed now. Right. So we ended up going, we get in and blind leading the blind, right? And inside the, the actual, uh,

inside the church itself where the pews are, that was all filled up. So they had actually opened up their lobby and they made it like seats there. So my friends were there and I was like, Hey, are you with anyone? She goes, no, God told me, I'm from Arizona. God told me this morning, I needed to come and support this church that he needed me here for a reason. I was like, Oh wow. Okay. Well you can sit with us. So sermon goes on. Beautiful sermon that I can't remember right now, but it was, it was beautiful because pastor Rob is like, he's just, he, he gets you going. Uh,

at one point we had 13 people run in our church run for local office. That's like, that's how active that he gets people, um, that he helps us. Anyway, um, after the service, the lady, she goes, God wanted me to, God wanted me to share this with you. She's open your book to Ephesians five, five, six. Right. I'm like, okay, you know what's going on here? Sorry. Ephesians six, 10. And I opened it up and she's like, do you know the armor of God? I was like, well, you know, I've heard of it. But she goes, and she opens in her book.

Now her book was all written. Everything's written. And she, she gets her pen and she reaches over to me, to my Bible and was about to do, it stops herself. And it circles it three times in her. She goes, God told me that you're going to need this. Let's read this. We read it together. She goes, God keeps telling me you're going to need this. You're going to need this. And just to kind of, to shrink in everything that then came right after. So she gave that,

it was in August. I found out in March of the year, the next year, that on September 17th, I was put on the secretary of state's censorship list for social media. That February, yeah, so that's one. That February was, I get a $300 citation that I was doing in West Hollywood. I was doing a recall table in the middle of a grassed area away from the sidewalk. But because they just passed the mass ordinance, they gave me a citation for not wearing mass 300 bucks. Then June 10th, which we will get into was when I was rated for January 6th and all in that time, I remember thinking, I was like, Whoa, that lady said, I'm going to need this. And she started off when I first met her goes,

God told me to come here for some reason. I don't know what. And I'm like, it just, it's also told me why I was like, I'm taking care of God's got me. God's got me. I was like, I don't know anything else, but I know God's got me. Um, and so that that was one of the big turnarounds where I didn't start going to church right away. Then it wasn't until after I met my now wife, Charlotte, lovely by the way. She's sweet. She's the best. She's the best. She's, and she's this, she just came on and started riding right away. You know, it was like she had my back coming in our first,

the first time we actually ever met was a UFC fight night. Okay. And September 25th of 2021. And we, you know, we're talking a little bit online and she started following me on Instagram and she followed my chief Americana page with Brian and I both share. And I told her, Hey, uh, come over my private page so we don't cross streams. You know? Um, and I had done a live with a lawyer and a friend of mine talking about what

California or what is done in legislators, the legislative body, they will do some called a gut and a friend of mine talking about what California, what is done in legislators, the legislative body, they will do some called a gut and amend bill. So three months early, they'll go, Hey, save the puppy bill. You go, that sounds good. Three months when they come back to vote on it, they had taken everything out about save the puppy and they put something else in it. So what you do, cause you're busy. You go, Oh yeah, I remember that saves the puppy bill. Yeah, we're fine. So this was a telecommunications bill,

which then they gut it and put in the COVID restrictions, where if you didn't have the jab, you could not even go into a cover. You couldn't go into a gas station with a covering. Even if the gas station is open air, but has a covering, if you don't have the shot, you couldn't go, like that's what they wanted to pass. So we did a little live about that.

And that evening I told Charlotte to pass. So we did a little live about that and I, that evening I told Charlotte to come to my page the next day, Instagram removed my account. So if I didn't tell her to go, I probably wouldn't know. Cause I don't remember that everyone's screen name, something crazy, you know, like up down dog left 68. You're like, what does that mean? Your name's Aaron, you know? So, so, so she comes over and they took it down. I was like, wow, they took it down. Her and I just kind of flirting back and forth. And at one time I asked her,

like, uh, Hey, what are you doing this weekend? She was like, Oh, I'm, I'm going to a Bible study dinner. I was like, Oh, I like, I like Bible studies. Yeah. I liked in the wall. Close. She'd actually flipped it on me. I was like, Oh, that's cool. She goes, what are you doing? And that's one thing I could tell if a girl's even worth talking to in LA Yeah, cuz she'll ask her the question back to you most of a lot of times where you'd be like, so how are you? She goes, oh, I'm 22. You go

Okay, you don't care how old I am. All right, you know, but where she was coming back I'm like, it's it's such a low bar in LA for that's where it's like, you just asked me a question back. Okay. I like you. Um, and so she goes, what are you doing? I was like, Oh, you know, I'm watching having some friends over watching UFC. She goes, I like fights. I was like, Oh, and so that weekend was, uh, I was like, well, you're free to come over after if you want, you know, fights go until about nine 30. And there was this fighter on there who's like one of my favorite fighters of all time, Valentina Shevchenko. She's a Polish fighter,

a little short blonde, literally the same exact dimensions as Charlotte. And she's like, but at the end of every fight, she dances and Charlotte's a trained dancer. So I'm like, Oh, you're going to love it. You know, there's just, and Charlotte started doing like stunt works. She's doing flips and stuff that I've seen on Instagram. So, and she's doing dance and like, you're gonna love this. What she's this, she's that, you love her. And she's like, okay. So she, that evening, she hit me up when she was leaving. She said, I'll leave.

I should be over like 45 minutes. Okay. When she gets to my house and she's like, I'm here and walk, I'll be walking up the driveway. She starts walking up the driveway as the same time Valentina is walking in towards like up the you know The walkway to the ring and I'm like Okay, that's okay. So I go open the door and I have at the house. I had a motion light So she's walking up to the light hits her and she's just like it's just bright like a bright angel

And I'm just like in my head. I'm like, oh my god, my god damn it But you know, I'm pretty good at poker. So I'm like, Hey, she's like, she's like, hi. She has like caramel apple, which was a whole nother thing. Cause I'm like, she brought some caramel apples. I'm thinking Eve. No. So she's like, do you like caramel apples? I'm like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, hurry up. The fight started and she's like, okay. And I'm like, and she comes and she's walking by and like, wait, first thing I gave me a hug.

She gave me a hug. I'm like, oh damn it. Smell like strawberries. Actually her name online is Shaw Berry. So it's like, so she goes, I'm like, she gives me a hug and I'm like, oh damn it. I'm like, get in the house. And she's like, okay. And so we go and it's my best friend, Brian, another buddy of mine, Phil and her myself, actually only four of us and we're watching the fights. And I remember we talked earlier and I started playing a guitar,

learning to play the guitar and we were joking. I was like, well, you know, I could play you a song. She's like, I'd love that. You know, all that. So we're watching the fights. Valentina wins, just in case anyone was wondering, Valentina wins a good night. and of course I'm doing, I'm coming over behind her close, I'm like, well that's called a camora, you know? That right there, that'll knock anyone out. Like in her ears, she's like, oh really?

You know? Like, we're just gonna- Turns out she hates UFC. Yeah, no, no, she, well she loves it now. Like we watched, we sat down, we saw the John Jones fight, it's like a whole thing. But yeah, then after everyone else left, we went and like I

played music. We ended up hanging out playing music. I'm playing music and I'm singing for someone for the first time doing guitar and singing. So it was the first time I did that and it's like comfortable. And she's like a little fairy dancing around, you know. She gets to my bongos, she's playing, we're talking. She leaves like 4 a.m. like whoa, you know, this was amazing. And I remember she told me, I was like, God, it's the first time I ever sang and played in front of film. She's like, really? She's like, it was just like natural. I'm like, whoa. Like she just kind of, it was just comfortable. It was right. You know?

And she was driving an hour back to go stay where she was staying. So I stayed up to wait till she got home and she called me in and within 30 days I asked her to marry me. Good man. You know, I was like, and this is the difference between men and women. I think it's funny. So like a woman, you can be like, can you marry me? Here's a ring. Oh my God. Right. So I didn't have a ring or anything at the time. And we were actually going to go see a Christian brother of ours. He was doing a performance where he was singing and stuff at this, at this spot. So we're on Sunset Boulevard. We just got like a, some, uh, uh, uh, meatballs,

some fried mushrooms and like, I think some, maybe some slice or two of pizza at the spot right around the corner. We're sitting in this outside alcove where it's just had some chairs and we're right there on Sunset Boulevard waiting to go in. I'm looking at her. I'm like, I'll say, Hey, will you marry me? She looked at me. She goes, really? I go, yeah. She goes, yeah. I go, shake on it. Cause I was a man. This is what this means that it's like, she shook my head. I was like, she shook, you know, to me, that was the beautiful part. Like I asked her, that was a beautiful

part for her. For me, I was like, she shook my you know, to me, that was the beautiful part. Like I asked her, that was a beautiful part for her for me. I was like, she shook my hand, you know? And so, yeah. And so we, we, uh, you know, she said yes and are like, okay, so we're going to do this thing. Right. And she have any questions about, is this going to quick? Are you sure you mean this? None of that. She knew you were serious. I was dead serious. Like I think she, one thing she gleaned for me when we first,

because also seeing what I was doing and being very like, boom, like this is just what it is as a matter of facts, like this, let's stand bold for what we believe in. She knew if I was saying this, I wasn't playing around and I wasn't, you know? Um, and, uh, it had a great night. And the funny thing is when I decided to run for office, because I used to tell people, if you're sick of seeing what's going on, you get involved.

Are you involved? Yeah, I was like, uh, what? And so this one person hit me up and they're like, they're like, yeah, thanks for what you say. And I'm running for mayor of my town. It's small, but thank you. I was like, whoa. It started hitting me. People started sending me messages like that. And I just was like, man, I can't, I can't not, not do something like that.

How can I tell other people to go do something that I'm not willing to do and to say, I'm just an actor, you know? So the seat was up, the assembly district, seat was up. There was no one else running against the Democrat. And I was like, look, at the very least I can get the message of conservatism around this area that, that, and that's something I've noticed. The people say an area is too blue to try their part of the problem because it's about investing into, into people. And it's not just going to be a man or cutting kids up. That's, they're crazy.

Right. And everyone goes, yeah, you're right. Cause if that was the case, no one, most people wouldn't vote Democrat again, but that's not the case. Right. So it's about getting the message in there and investing in getting the message. And so I was like, at the very least I'm going around my neighborhood, my area, I'll be able to do that. And so she, she was like, I'll help you. So now like one of the first big things we're doing together is running a campaign as my fiance and we go, I was like, you know where we need to go? We need to start going to churches because churches, uh,

take the Hollywood model churches or PG 13 movies, where is if you go to a dinner, you go to any type of evening event for, you know, donors, that's like a rated R movie. You're only going to see the adults, but if you go to a church, it's PG-13, where mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, cousins, little ones, old ones, everyone goes there. The whole family shows up.

So that's why I'm like, we should go to churches. So I started going to churches, or we started going to churches. And within that, people would see us like, oh, that's your wife, oh no, no, fiance. Like, oh, you guys, no, we live together. They go, oh. And I'm like, yeah.

After about like the fifth time with people going, oh, you're living together and you're not married. And we're like, yeah. And I was working on book of Ephesians with a pastor and he challenged me. He goes, I know you guys live together. I know money's an issue, but you have a big house, a big enough house. Like try, maybe you guys haven't challenged me. He goes, I know you guys live together and no money is an issue, but you have a big house, a big enough house. Like try,

maybe you guys have a challenge. You maybe guys shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed anymore. And so for the last six months of our, before we got married, um, you know, we ended up sleeping in different rooms and, uh, slipped up once to be honest, was this slip up once. But, um, we ended up, it was such, she's actually a great argument for not even living in the same house as a beautiful woman who you're about to marry. Trust me. Who's like you love and everything's fun and everything's just like,

just don't, if you want to, I do, I feel like we saw his gifts based on that. And I mean, the, the house we got married in is a place that would cost most people $20,000. It was her, it was her, you know, one of her Christian mentors. They gave it to us for free. Her, her, her uncles are live musicians, trumpet and, and, and a sax. And they played us coming down. The dress was super taken care of reasonable. The food was reasonable. Like the type of wedding we had for the costs we,

we put down, it was like, we didn't have the money to pay for what people would saw, but yet it was just provided, provided. He was providing for us. But what we did was December of that year. Cause we told everyone April 23rd of 20, 20, uh, three, right? This one, we're going to get married. But December of, of 22, my mom was coming in town for Christmas and I go, mom, bring a nice dress. I was like, let's just get married. Cause I also saw her kind of getting caught up in the party of the wedding.

And I don't really care. Like I want to marry you. It's about marriage. Yeah. And so I'm like, let's just get married. So we went to, uh, so she told her mom that's what she was going to do. I told my, my mom, and, um, you know, we told a pastor or pastor, Jesse Bailey, great guy to you. She happens to, uh, and, uh, we ended up going to a forest lawn, which is a cemetery of a very famous cemetery in Los Angeles, but it also has chapels there and they have the declaration of independence chapel. So we ended up getting married right in front of the declaration of

independence. It was such a beautiful thing. It was her, myself, the pastor, our moms, her mom's boyfriend, and then our photographer friends, two people. That was it. And we just did a nice little ceremony. We didn't book it. We just showed up and we're like, all right, let's go. Yes, yes, yes. You know, we had our, we, we wrote our vows, which are great and all that stuff. And so we technically got married in December of 22 and uh, you know, then did the celebration in April of 23, which is just amazing.

And family was there, but I definitely saw that we were, we were in a, we were in a stronger bond and a stronger place after we got married that had never experienced in all the relationships that I was so hopelessly loving. And I love you and we love it. Why are you breaking up? Why am I right? No, cause it wasn't real. It was all based on that, like, um, that lust love that the society pushes on us. You feel good about it. Well,

then go. It doesn't matter if you're not really like her personality or you don't really, you know, attracted to her completely, you know, no, just that's there. And also it was like the fear of not having enough. So I would hold onto relationships longer than I should have because when I break up with her, I don't know if anyone would like me and you know, all that. So it was no longer about you. It's about this woman. Yeah. You are, you have promised to protect and love and she breathes her last, or you do. And that's what I want to do. And it's, it's so funny cause as I've, when we,

we started reading the Bible together in 22 and I actually recommend this to any couples out there. Uh, if you have separately, that's great, but you can read it together. And, and what we did was we go one through 10, then she go 11 to 20 and we'd go back and forth that way. So that way it wasn't just line by line switching off. It gives one person a chance to sit there and digest it, and another person to really get the words out and then flip.

And it took us a year and a half to get through the New Testament. It was just amazing, you know, to do that. So I recommend anyone out there, if you have a relationship you want to start, and you're Christian and they're Christian, do that. Like it's, why not? And then you get a chance to really hear where they are about it, not just know they're Christian so that you assume they think this way about, you know, Christ and about different situations. No, you get a chance to,

they're really bounced off each other and go, okay, this is, or this isn't, you know. So it was a, it was a very, it was a very cool thing. She was there for my baptism in January 1st of 2021 or 2022. And yeah, she's been, and she was, and she was going to that church, God speak. And I didn't know. So the church that I went to to go support and all this stuff that happened. And then when I found her, she goes, you want to go to church with me? I was like, yeah, where do you go? She goes, God speak in thousand oaks. I'm like, wait,

what? Okay. Uh, what's going on here? Lord, like you're just, yeah, it's, yeah, it's amazing. Josiah, would you mind turning that fan around the other way? Thank you. Oh, well glory to Jesus Christ. He's so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had this idea that you know how if you ever stayed out all night you know party and or something plenty of times the neon lights was that what do you want oh yeah the neon lights lose their cheer yes the Sun begins to rise.

Yeah. And so too do earthly pleasures as Christ becomes more prominent in your life. And you realize that those things that were drawing me, that were promising me what they could never give, now look dull and dated as the real thing rises. And I actually think it starts happening before you really get to Christ because when I was drinking, before I even knew God in that way, there were times I go to the bar to work and go, and there'll be different types of alcohol and I'd do Eenie Meanie Miney Mo

cause I was so bored of drinking, but I didn't know what else to do to get through this shift. You're like, all right, here we go. Okay, I guess run tonight. So I think it starts to happen before you actually really, or at least for me. It's cynicism, isn't it? Yeah. What's the point?

It's all old and stale and this is life now. And often I think that's, sometimes it's not that Christianity's too difficult to believe, it's too good to believe. Because when you've been chasing a thousand little gods and all of them have not just let you down, but have left you worse than when you approach them, all of a sudden someone comes here with a message of the gospel that cynicism

is so embedded within us that we're tempted to think, how could this possibly be true? Cynicism, but also that level of disobedience because, you know, says in Proverbs that it knowledge of him was written on our heart right and and that was something that I knew if I really was gonna take this seriously or things I couldn't do anymore and I'm like I don't want to be told what to do have you ever read Augustine's confessions you know you really there you go you get Rob McCoy on

here I'm gonna read the book Yeah, because he lived he lived a life of great sin. He had a child out of wedlock He would go to gladiator games He was and it was this he knew he had to come to Christ But he talked about these these old sins would pull at him and speak to him like really you're gonna give us up completely Yeah, and he had to finally make that sever. Yeah. It's, it's tough, man. It is tough because there's certain things. Sorry. I didn't talk to him like, it's a certain things that became part of your adult life,

you know? Um, and we talked about it earlier, but like alcohol, like you said, it smells on top of you and all this, but some of the other vices, they were, they're hidden and you're like, well, it's not really hurting anyone outwardly right so I can I can kind of just mess around in here But it's it's like thank God for Jesus. You know, thank Jesus for Jesus. Amen Listen to this listen to this from Augustine late. Have I loved you a beauty ever ancient ever knew late Have I loved you you were within me? But I was outside and it was there that I searched for you in my unloveliness. I plunged into Lovely things which you created you were with me, but I was not with you

Created things kept me from you yet if they had not yet been in you they would have not been at all You called you shouted and broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me. I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you. Now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me and I burned for your peace. Amen. Amen. That's, that's it. That is like, that's, I just think about that. I think about drinking, I think about drinking and womanizing. It was like, that was a worldly pleasures that had me feeling full for those moments. And, um, but yeah, it was empty in the long run completely.

So the man, he was a man who we need to be as Christians, we need to know our history. And just like I've been learning about the history about my family and my namesake King King Siakamassico who started Liberia, like, you start to learn about our namesake. We can defend it in the square that much more. You know, we can, and not just defend it in the square, but we can defend it at home where it's, if a kid comes home and says, I think I'm a boy, you know, and you're a girl or vice versa, or I think I'm gay or whatever it is.

If they don't have the knowledge of Christ, they don't have the knowledge of, of, you know, God, the God of the Bible. It's easy for them to fall for the pleasures of the world because it's the pleasure of the world. They put so much money and effort, you know, to use a crass analogy, it's like the food industry in America. When you go to a grocery store, the boring things are like, you know, the chicken breasts and the steak and the watermelons, but you get to the checkout lane. That's where all the shiny poison food is. Right. It's all in. It's only 99 cents. Yeah. And it appeals to our passions.

It's like this quick fix. It's me now. Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah. That's, that's, that's one of my nerd rises. Oh, that used to be mine. But you look at the ingredients like, Oh, this isn't food. Yeah. You're like, what? That guy, I'm good. I had a friend of mine saying his uh His brother worked for the like the chemists at Arby's and they said he can make a plank of wood tastes like steak I was like, oh jeez. Oh, we got to stay away from all that. But you know, it's Well, thank God. I'm so thrilled that you've come to know Christ and that you love him and that you have a beautiful bride and a Beautiful son. How good is the Xavier? Yeah, he's,

he's so good. He blessed us with another one. Really? Yeah. Thank you. We're going to Irish twins. Yeah. And, uh, you know, it's interesting. Um, I think I told you earlier, I was baptized when I was like eight and it just happened. And when I looked back, I was thinking about this last night, getting ready to come here. And I looked back at my life and there's so many moments where I should be dead or in jail or in a, you know,

having a kid with a woman that I shouldn't be yet. Christ was, was protecting me all those times to get to this place where, you know, I've, I've, I've been in situations where I've had two abortions. Um, Oh, you have paid for a guy. I paid for one and then one girl I didn't know she did it, but I found out after and brother and I think about, I think about those kids. Thank you. Cause I think about those kids now.

And I hit a point and pastor route told me this, he goes, and he goes, you know, he says your sins, he forgets your sins as far from the East, from the West. And that he's forgiven you. And I've always wanted a boy. Of course I always wanted a son. And I always said I would name my first son, Xavier. And I got to a place before I met Charlotte, that I was okay with never having a family like that. Because I was like, you know, I accepted what I did, you know gave me a son.

And 30 days after Xavier was born, a name that I had ever since I was 10 years old that I was gonna name my first son, Xavier, we, I get the job offer with Daily Wire and we're able to buy a home. And Xavier means new house. And I'm like, I'm looking back at 10 years old me holding on to his name all the way to this

point. And I'm like, God knew he knew. Even when I was like, I get it. I, you know, anytime I've ever got arrested, I'm like, you got me, you know, not like, no, I didn't do it. You know, unless like, except for the J six stuff, which was like, no, you got me, you know, not like, no, I didn't do it, you know, unless, except for the J6 stuff, which was like, wait, what are you guys doing? But everything else was like, yeah, you got me. And I've accepted that, but I do think about that, you know, both kids, one would be at least 22 now.

And, you know, I've always loved kids, oh my God, since the death and first job was babysitting. And the fact that he's given me this child and now another one on the way, I just, I don't deserve it. No, you don't. And it's just, but it's almost like, that's not the point. That's not the point. Yeah. In that while, which blows my mind. I didn't earn this. Yeah. I'm the same thing. I'm like, I'm a wretch. Yeah. I'm an absolute wretch. Terrible. And it's like our blessed laws like, uh huh. I was aware earn this. Yeah, I'm the same thing. I'm like, I'm a wretch. I'm an absolute wretch. Terrible. And it's like our blessed laws like, uh-huh. I was aware of this. I also love you deeper than your wretchedness.

Yeah. Which is, part of me, I still, I don't quite understand, but I get it, if that makes sense. I don't understand how he can still, but I get that he does, cause that's what he said he's going to do. So that's one of the things that I find that was, is, is at least a saving grace

that he's made me in a way where it's like, well, have you said it? And he said it, whether I understand that how it works. That's one thing I started throwing away. I don't need to understand how it works. He said it, so I'll trust him. And when I trust the more I've trusted him, the more the things that in a life that I've always looked to live is, is come true. And it's like, wow, okay. Working with daily wire, that's, that's cool. I used to watch these guys from a distance. Now I'm like in the house and in a house and in a beautiful neighborhood with my

son, who's just flourishing. And this, now we have another kid on the way. And I always had, I was going to name the first son, I'd named first son Xavier and I was always gonna name the second son Logan Full disclosure. It's because I've been a big X-Men fan my whole life But I gave my wife a much more spiritual reason and she bought it. No. No, I told her truth. She's like, okay it's cool. She actually said like this we went and saw the Deadpool Wolverine movie, which is It's extremely godless. Uh, and, uh, but the Wolverine portion of it was just, it was Wolverine and we were leaving the theater. She looked at me and she goes,

I see why you want to name your kid, Logan. I was like, you get it. You get me. So we'll see. Uh, we think she had a dream. It was a girl and then she was pregnant, woke up the next day and took a pregnancy test and it was positive. So it's probably going to be a girl. But if it is a boy, Logan, Logan. And so you've moved to Nashville within the last year. We moved to Nashville September. What was your thought?

Was that the first time you watched Am I racist with me at the theater? What did you see? Yeah, no, that was the first time. So that was like, I mean, what's that like? Because it seemed like you were kind of you were cluing into this stuff. You were being red pilled if you want on this stuff before you realized that this could ever, I don't know, get traction. What was your impression of the film? The film was about time and now it, um, especially the way daily wire did it and Matt Walsh man if

no one's seen it his performance in that as an actor I watched him that's interesting as an actor what did you think oh I was like this guy is a superstar now I was like he just he just did the work that he did as an actor he just took it to the next level I'm like this is this is the kind of thing we need we need to build our own superstars. We need to build our own celebrities because we can't rely on the godless to maybe do things that we want to see anymore. And the fact that Matt and Daily Wire was able to pull that off and make solid

money in the, at the box office over a documentary. I'm watching this. And it was, it was brilliantly done when it comes down to what it was and talking to normal people as well as the kind of far fringes of society and Matt's work in that. And I remember I went up to Matt afterwards. I go, dude, great work. I was like, seriously, you just took your, your, your, your start to next level. That was the work you did there. Watching as an actor, I was like, there's moments where, and it's always just

when an actor moves me, I lean in. Cause I'm like, I'm starting to see, what, like, where did you get, where was your motivation and what work were you doing? And sometimes I've been in a place where I can kind of spot it, you know, and see where it's like, oh, there's, there's the, your motivation in there, right?

There's your, your, your movement. And I'm like, okay, oh, okay, I see what you're doing. Okay, nice, nice. Like it was, it was very, it was done very, very well. It was done very well. And I think that every and anyone should see it because it pulls down the weight of, because what I've noticed is a lot of white folks

on the left that are like, I'm anti-racist. Like they're afraid to even maybe be seen as possibly anything wrong with that. And so they kind of mute themselves who they really are. And this movie allows people to see the ridiculousness of it that it goes, wait a minute, I shouldn't, like I need to start to know who I really am. I'm not, not this person. Who am I? Right, and start to move in that direction and not to be told by some lady

who's writing some book in colleges that just making a bunch of money on it, you know? Bear with me. I was gripping, you were in front of us. You and your bride were in front of my wife. I was gripping her arm. I couldn't handle the levels of secondhand embarrassment when he's getting Robin DiAngelo to pay reparations.

That was so great. Because to me, I see, but I was also looking at it from this angle. These people are part of what has destroyed Americanism in this country. And Americanism, I say, it's like somebody like my mom can come to this country and get, you know, all the paper rights. Now she's a naturalized citizen and she's an American that has the same DNA as the, you know, uh, as Abraham Lincoln, those who fought in the civil war, those who fought in the revolutionary war,

because that's the promise of this country. Once you're an American, you are part of all that story and that story is great. And that's the thing that people want to hate. That's why they come after this country so much, because it is different than any other country that comes off of a monarchy system and they still look too man as something to worship. And a lot of people don't understand us Christians, at least for me, we don't worship Donald Trump. Worship the Lord Jesus Christ. Trump is this an avenue that can be used to get our get what we need as as Christ lovers more out there. That's all. Give us more space. It's not they

go, oh you worship him and it hit me. Why they say that? I go, oh well you say that because on the left you don't worship a God. You don't worship God I should say. They worship man. They wait. Oh Obama, okay okay You know, oh, this Clinton, oh no, no, Joe. They worship man. So for them, when they see us, they see us move with this passion, they think, oh, you worship Trump. Because that's their only understanding. Most of them don't have the God of the Bible to go what it really under, what it feels like to worship something bigger than man. And so I noticed, I was like, oh, that's why they always kind of say, well, you're, you're, you know, you're God Trump.

I'm like, dude, are you crazy? Like, no, not at all. Trump's a cool guy and all, but he's not God. Are you like, what? It really blows my mind when they say, but now I have a better understanding because again, I was there, I was in there and I was fighting the power upfront.

It was just kind of like what I do. I'm being a friend of Meriwad Matt, but I'm like fighting the power saying racism and da da da and the white and they didn't hire me cause my name and I was in that. I was in that completely and I was godless and that's why I was so angry. I didn't realize that. So you went through that phase yourself. Yeah. Oh yeah. We jumped over that bit, I think. Oh, I was able to use all of the leftist argument against the Bible, right? Which at the end of the day, when I,

when I started learning the Bible and learned, I was like, wait a minute, my, that's why I always say Christians, we need to be biblically literate because the arguments that they use are weak at the end of the day. Oh, the Council of Nicaea, that's the only reason why. And Constantine, that's the only reason it's spread. And you're like, if you really look into it, like, no, no, no, it was happening before Constantine did all this stuff. They're being persecuted. The thing about, you know, Jesus Christ came in a certain time and it was for a certain reason and it worked in a certain way. And the Bible actually was put together people were actually passing this

around they actually spoke in code in the Bible because they knew they were gonna get taken out by the Sanhedrin or or the Roman You know Roman society for being the crazy Jesus followers of the way and all this and I'm like wow I was I was going on thing thinking that I was really intellectually brilliant by regurgitating Wow. I was, I was going on thing thinking that I was really intellectually, um, brilliant by regurgitating godlessness that at the end of the day, when I now have a better understanding of the Bible, the godlessness is actually weak. Doesn't really, doesn't really stand up that that hard. And I even watched guys do debates on there with the atheists and I'm like, ah,

it's so simple. You can break them down. But I think, I don't know. I just, I think that a lot of times that nicety still plays a little too much in our society where it's like these things are matter of fact, man. You should check out Matt Walsh's book if you haven't already. What was it called? Church of cowards? Oh, wow. He kind of addresses that, that the kind of the church of nice in there. Yeah. Yeah. We've lost, we've lost. that the kind of the church of nice in there. Yeah. We've lost, we've lost, like, for example, my mom,

if she was here when she would visit us back in Los Angeles, uh, right after Xavier, right when Xavier was born. And I told her, we're talking when it was like, you know, I'm praying for you. Right. She's like, you know, yeah, okay. You don't have to say anything. And I was like, well, you know, they'll just let you know it's happening. Well, You don't have to say anything. I was like, well, you know, they just let you know it's happening Well, why do you have to say I'm like, well if you said I'm giving you good vibes. Yeah. Thank you She's like why you have to say and I go well, it's gonna make you feel awkward Just a little bit number two. No walls like well cuz I was like what because Jesus told us we have to

We have to preach to all two four-leg. It's like we have to preach to everyone It's like well, I don't understand why. And it was so interesting cause she starts to ask me, well, why does God kill a bunch of people to whole like genocide thing? They want to, you know, a lot of people who don't have God want to say and before that used to be an argument. Oh yeah. Well then why is he would kill babies and then genocide. Then I learned about what was going on in Moab and it's like, Oh, that was judgment. That's judgment guys.

It was just kind of just what God can do. You know, he judges them for killing babies. That's why he did it. You know? And so where it's before the argument was like, well, he's just bad then cause he killed and no one and a lot of, I'd never heard a Christian break down the reason. And I'm like, that's why we lose because we don't know how to defend what they throw at us, the faith. And we need to defend the faith. Because I believe if we defend the faith, somebody's listening, and I've seen it happen, they're going to have the godlessness or the faith. And if you can't defend it, which so many people did in my life growing up,

when I'd ask questions like, why would he destroy the Tower of Babel? I mean, would it be easier if we all knew how to speak the same language? Yeah. The pastor at the time goes, well, you know, God does what he does. I was like, I was I was agnostic leaning towards atheism until I was 17. And it was something similar. I would ask my mom or grandma or someone questions And it was probably the case that I was just an arrogant little teenager that really wasn't looking for a right answer And even if I had they had given it to me

I would have mocked it, but the answer was often it's a mystery and I'm like well Maybe it is but at least give it a shot something Yeah, it's not really as much of a, his reasoning can be a mystery. So yeah, I find I'm like 16. I got all these raging hormones and my options are God and no sex. And we don't really have any arguments for God or Christianity or MTV and Playboy. And I'm like, well, this looks much much. Yeah. This is calling me. Yeah. I just really feel led.

Yeah. It makes, it makes sense. I don't understand where you're coming from. So it's, it's sense. I don't understand where you're coming from. So it's, it's, uh, I tried to, I watched it and that's got me to fall. You know, my wife and I fell into your show or like, whoa, how did you find it? Or do you just, it was, it came up on our feed because we had been looking at a lot of, uh, a Jesus and God stuff on YouTube. And so, um, it's amazing how far it reaches. Yeah. How we can just get in there. And then I remember I was telling you about, it was a, I really watched that. I went that whole episode about possession.

Yeah. And it was with an exorcist. Yeah. With an exorcist. That was, I forget his name. Father Vincent Lampert. Yes. Is that him? Yes. Yeah. Right. And he was talking about, I remember saying the weight of a baby before like they're baptized compared to after. Yeah. And the reason why it really gets me is because that's the other thing that I think Christianity and different denominations have really fallen off. I don't know Catholicism well enough, but I do know that they do, that is part of what

is known within Catholicism as the evil that does exist and wants to, you know, uh, pressure us into different, exists and want to drag us to hell. Exactly. Yeah. And I think we need to know that as well. And to a hundred percent, right? This is the battle. It's not the Democrats. No, no, no. These are brothers and sisters who Christ died for. It's the, it's the demonic who hates us. It's a principality. That's right. Yep. Yep. Well, first Peter five, eight, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,

seeking someone to devour, stand up to him. Yeah. And they ran, they run. And he runs when you do in the name of Christ. It's so weird that you can like really, and then he goes, it's so, it's so maddening. He's a coward. Sorry. And so yeah, he is ultimately, and he's super arrogant. I always think about the Job story about his arrogance because he was at one point the number one angel, right? He's hanging out with God and, and he's supposed to, he's supposed to lead the worship. Later on he falls. Cause he's, you know, he's like, I'm so beautiful. I've, I, you know, like I can run my own, I can be like the most high. Then Joe,

the joke thing comes along and I remember, you know, I've heard the story in the past, but I, you know, in my discipleship classes started doing, um, we got to that story and I'm listening to it and we're reading it. I'm just like, wait a minute, wait a minute, we just learned God is everything. He's outside of space and time. What type of arrogance do you need to have to make a bet with someone that knows what's happening tomorrow?

I'm like, wait a minute, what? Yeah, that's interesting. Like that hit a level of arrogance to me because I'm like, why would I make a bet if you knew who it was, it was like the Back to the Future II, right? When old boy had the book, right? Why would I make a bet against you knew who it was like the back to the future too, right? When old boy had the book, right? Why would I make a bet against anyone that knew what was going to happen and to

do it like, I watch, I'm going to show you. To me, I would be like, if, and this is why I keep talking about like, you know, his pride is the, is the, is the beginning of the fall, right? Cause he goes, I bet you I can do this. And God's like, okay. So he said, okay. I'm like, nah, I'm all right. I'm like, forget it. I'm gonna go try somebody else, you know?

And actually God brought it up, right? He's like, have you tested my servant Joe? Yeah. Why? Like what? It's like, hey, you want to bet against the 98 Chicago Bulls? Like against who they playing? I don't know, they're playing Orlando Magic.

No, no, no, I'm out. I'm good. You know, it's like, it was really, it just, it just, which helps me laugh more at Satan and like his, who he is. Cause I'm like, what? Yeah. We grow up with this idea that the opposite of God is Satan, but no, Satan is a creature. The opposite of Satan is St. Michael, the arch, who cast him down, right, in Revelation 12. I wanna tell you about Halo,

which is the number one downloaded prayer app in the world. It's outstanding. Halo.com slash Matt Fradd. Sign up over there right now, and you will get the first three months for free. That's like a lot of time. You can decide whether it's useful to you or not, whether it's helpful.

If you don't like it, you can always quit. Halo.com slash it's useful to you or not, whether it's helpful. If you don't like it, you can always quit. Hello.com slash Matt Fradd. I use it, my family uses it. It's fantastic. There are over 10,000 audio guided prayers, meditations, and music, including Mylofi. Hello has been downloaded over 15 million times in 150 different countries. It helps you pray, helps you meditate, helps you sleep better.

It helps you build a daily routine and a habit of prayer. There's honestly so much excellent stuff on this app that it's difficult to get through it all. Just go check it out. Hello.com.com. The link is in the description below. It even has an entire section for kids. So if you're a parent, you could play little Bible stories for them at night. It'll help them pray. Fantastic. Hello.com. You could play little Bible stories for them at night. It'll help them pray. Fantastic. Hello.com slash Matt. Fred Sam. Shamoone is what you were talking about. Yes. We're talking about blow. No, no, I know, but I want to go on and get the sense. You mentioned it in the break.

So Sam, what were you saying? What did your wife say? So my wife actually just, are we good? Yeah. So my wife just actually, she texts, she goes, Hey, you should tell Matt to have Sam on if he hasn't. I'm like, we watched him have Sam. Yeah. This is back in the day. It was like one of those, it was a virtual conversation. Yeah. I mean, I don't know him that well, but from the little, I know he seems like a really lovely man. You should, you should, if you should bring him in, I think it's,

Sam's a very interesting guy. Where's he at with his journey? I honestly have not followed him. So I don't know. He is, he is, uh, he's still out there breaking down Muslims and, and, and, and Jehovah's witnesses. Yeah. He's still breaking them down, but he is, he is, he does Bible studies. He really gets into the, into weeds. And when he did, I think we talked about a little bit why my view of Catholicism changed. I used to think that, you know, Catholics are, you know, just glorified pagans because they're praying to mother Mary. That's weird. Like why would you do that? It says Jesus only, you know? Um,

and he broke down, uh, oh my goodness. Uh, I forget the exact part, but it also says it again in, uh, Ephesians, uh, six, when you're going down, you know, with all prayers and supplication to the saints as well. And he's like, he broke it down to what's going on in heaven. He's in heaven. The saints are church worshiping the Lord. Revelation five, right. Offering the prayers of the saints. Exactly. And so he's like, well, it's like, he's like, when you're in church,

you go to someone, you ask them to pray for you, correct to God. And I don't thereby usurp the authority of Christ. You're asking Siaka, please pray for me. Not at all. Yeah. So when you're asking, and you would never look at me and go, Hey, why don't you go directly to Christ? I'm like, and even if you did say that, what do you find him? I was like, what, what? Go talk to Christ, man. I'm not gonna say to you, Oh, I am. Yeah. And this is the way he's set things up.

And then the Virgin mother and being who she was, it's like, why would you not ask? And it says in the word praying to all saints for the supplications. Right. Also, it says he's the god of the living, not the dead. So we're not it's not necromancy. Like necromancy is summoning information from the dead. When I pray to the saints, I'm giving them information. And I'm saying, would you pray for me? You're there in the church with God. Yeah. Like, and if the prayer of a righteous man avails much, who's more righteous than the,

than the Virgin Mary. Yeah. So that when he broke that down, is he, is he a Catholic? I don't know if he's Catholic. I think he's just, I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm going to go out on a limb here and I hope I'm not divulging anything that I shouldn't. Sam, if you ever watch this, I do beg your forgiveness. I don't think I am, but, but he confided in me that he prays the rosary. Really? Yeah. Like that's awesome. I mean, look, I, at this point, the more I'm getting into the word and the Bible and Sam breaks it down in ways where you can get deeper. I'm like,

I like to think of the rosary as a, as a Bible study on beads because with each decade, as you pray the Hail Mary and you think about what the Hail Mary is, this is the moment where Satan's kingdom collapsed. Hail Mary full of grace. It was these words where the eternal God became a zygote. I mean, my, that's, that's the most powerful words. And every time we say Hail Mary, we're reminding of the devil of his downfall. But as we do this, we're meditating on the life of Christ. So it is a way, like I pray the rosary every day, and when I do, I'm thinking of

Christ as a 12-year-old teaching the teachers. I think of him crucified. And it's very Christocentric prayer. But I get it. I would imagine as someone in a Protestant tradition looking in at Catholics. Yeah, there's a lot of differences. We use language differently. I can see that it could freak people out at it was Lewis who said that, uh, you know, Catholics look at Protestants and see a desert. Like, where is everything? Protestants look at Catholics and see an overrun jungle. Like what is with all this stuff? It's a desert. The desert. Where is everything? What are you guys doing? Yeah. Well,

actually I went and visited in Tennessee. I went to, cause we were a church shopping and I went to a Orthodox church and, uh, I don't know if it's for me yet, but it definitely, I appreciate what they're doing because I was talking to one of the guys, Alex, their brilliant young kid about 27, like blows your mind. And he's like, well, you ever been to synagogue? I'm like, yeah. He goes, that's the same thing. They're there to do prayers and hymns. I'm like, Oh, cause we came in when we went there, we all,

every church to go through a go with our Bibles. I'm like, I'm going to learn some stuff today. You know,? And we get in there and they just looked at me, our neighbors invited us. They're like, oh, that's cute. And then everything was just like singing and then the prayers and then we sat down and he talked a little bit and singing and nothing was in scripture. And I'm just like, and for me, because scripture is just so like, I love hearing people who have scriptural knowledge because it just, it feeds me. Right. So I'm there. I'm like, Oh, Oh, like I didn't feel fed, but I understand like what they're doing. And he broke it down. He's like, the idea is that's where we go to worship. Like David did, you know,

going to temple to worship. Right. But every other time is when we're supposed to be studying. I'm like, Oh, I'm like, well that's cool. Yeah. But I still kind of want to go to church and be like, all right, we're going through revelation and it means this. And I'm like, Oh, I'm like, well, that's cool. But I still kind of want to go to church and be like, all right, we're going through revelation and it means this. And I'm like, Oh, do I agree or disagree? Um, but I, I, I I've had ever since that Sam moment on your show, and then he broke down, uh, when somebody asked him like, uh,

are Catholics pagans? And he broke that down. I've had a lot more grace in understanding different denominations, especially the oldest ones with orthodoxy and Catholicism. And now it's more like wanting to have better understanding as opposed to go, you guys are crazy. This is what we were talking about earlier, right? The ability to entertain. This is Aristotle, I think he said, the mark of an intelligent man is the ability to entertain a position without accepting it. Whereas what we were talking about before

with the woke mind virus or the cult mentality is I can't entertain it. So you can think about Catholicism. I think what I'd want you to do as a Catholic is I'd say, learn what the Catholic church teaches from intelligent Catholics. I think sometimes Protestants, all they know about the Catholic Church is what Protestants have told them. So it's like, if you want to reject the Catholic Church, at least listen to what the Catholics are saying about Catholicism.

Well, it's the same thing with the left to the right or the right to the left. Like I was learning about the right from other people on the left. Yeah. And so it wasn't until I started doing that job and being around other Republicans, I was like, Oh, wait a minute, this is not what it is. And to me, the other side that really opened me up to other churches like Catholicism and, and, and, and orthodoxy is in revelation when he's talking to the seven churches. And my pastor, we're doing discipleship. He,

we read that portion together and he goes, what does Jesus say in the beginning of this that, that, that, that you guys notice and no one could answer. He goes, he says to my churches or to my church, they're all his churches. And I'm like, Oh, huh. So while I'm over there being like, well, this is a better way. They believe he was divine that he died for our sins. He came back. That's a, that's a baseline, you know, or at least that's the early church saying that's the baseline. So I'm like,

huh, maybe I shouldn't be so quick to go. You're, you're, you're, you're pagan. Man, you're, you're praying to dead people. Like, what are you doing? You know, you know, I should, I should, I should look at it like, maybe I don't understand it, but as a reason why it's's still here. And, and well, I think you're, you're welcome to explore the biblical and patristic roots of some of these practices and come to the conclusion. You're wrong. I think that's, and if I am wrong, right? As a Catholic, if I'm wrong, I think as a Christian brother, you should correct me. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's one, you can do that in an arrogant, ignorant way where you're not

really trying to understand and you're just, you know, but, but no, I think is a, I think a good Catholic should want to be corrected about certain things if he's, if we're wrong on that. So that's the point I was saying about our delivery system. The Jews get this right where they press the young people to press back on their faith, right? That's what, um, um, shab, a lot of times Shabbat dinner is about like, Oh, okay. You explain to where it is. Right. And so these people were defending themselves. Uh, Muslims

do it right too. That's a, um, there was, um, I got to look up his name, but it was, uh, Nabeb. I think it was a former, uh, you know, sometimes on with Shimon and he was, okay. No, no, his buddy was on and the beef ended up dying of cancer. Of course. Yes. And he rest his soul. He's made a statement. He goes, I was being prepared to go when I went to America, I have listened to him. He's amazing. He seems lovely. He seemed like a beautiful man. And he said, you know, I'm being prepared by my mom to go defend the faith. I get to school junior high and, and none of these Christians say anything to me about the Gospels. I'm

thinking one of two things. Either one, they don't care about my soul, or two, they don't believe their Gospels. So our delivery system has to be in a way where I think within the family I need to, I want to challenge my son and have him challenge me on the scripture, on the Gospel, and these questions so that we're in a mode of like, we're athletic about it, if you will, right? If you're playing sports, you're like, you don't just run straight, unless it's just track, but you're like, you're playing basketball, you're going all over the place. You know, I think we need to be able to move a little more with it. And that's going to be the comfortable, the more we're training, the more you train with

something, the more comfortable you are that when the situation arises, you react. Martial arts, right? Does the same thing. So if we're sitting there and we're pushing our kids in a way where it's like, think about it. Well, you tell them, what do you think? Well, you push back on me. What do I think? What do you know to push back on me? So now they're thinking in this way where when someone says something in the classroom, they've already been having this type of training at home. Yeah. But no, no,

it's just, we go to church and come home and you know, we chill out and yeah. Yeah. I mean, Christianity is a reasonable faith. It's not the sort of faith where you leave your brain at the door and believe a bunch of things that have no basis, you know, in history and reason. Yeah. You know, it's very reasonable. Yeah. You know, I was like this point when Jesus, this is one thing that blew my mind when Jesus says, and I watched a lot of debates online and, and, and it'd be like, well, you know,

when he says, forgive him father for they know not what they do, if he's God, how did, why would you say that? And I was reading in my new King James, how it says, you know, it points to what that reference is. And I go back to, um, to Proverbs 22, right? Or Psalms 22, sorry. Psalms 22 starts off forgiving father and I don't know what to do. And it just talks about what happens. And I'm like, can you imagine, well the not forgive me father for no, they do. But, um, yeah, why have you forsaken? Why? Yeah, sorry. Why have you forsaken? I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.

We get there. Right. Is why, why have you forsaken me? And it's like, that's their argument. And I'm like, can, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. We'll get there right. It's why have you forsaken me? And it's like, that's their argument. And I'm like, can you imagine if you're on, you're dying, right? And you go, you say something like, uptown funk and you die. And then people have to go, wait a minute, I know that song.

And they have to go back and read the lyrics and they go, oh, that's what he meant. I'm like, that's what he was doing. And that, bro, that's what he meant. I'm like, that's what he was doing. And that, that bro, that like blew my mind about like how clever and, and beautiful Jesus was all the way till the end. He's like, yo, I can't just say I'm God, cause you're not going to get that. Boom. And then all the Jews around are going, cause especially, you know, back then they're studying it like this. They don't have TV and Tik Tok to like there.

This is what they were studying. First century Jews were like, yo, we're this is when is he coming? Or is that hip? Like they're looking for it. And the fact that he could say that right before he dies, I can, can you imagine that's what you've been waiting for? And you sit there and he says this right before he passes and you're like, you already know the ending. Yeah. The vindication of the innocent. You're like, Whoa. And so that, that, that's like getting those types of things.

We need to, to like bring Christ out in that way. Cause he was so much more than, than like the hippie Jesus. He was the surfer looking dude that they try to sell us. You know, it's, it's, it, it, those are the kinds of things that were like, wow, like God is just cool Said I would do this to you. Would you find it patronizing if I gave you a rosary? No, not at all. No rosary Thank you, sir. I actually as It was getting closer. I was actually looking forward to this. Yeah, it's a simple thing

But I mean there's something lovely about an Incarnational thing. I mean, you know, we all this. If you have a Bible that you buy from a dollar store, if you have a nice leather bound Bible, there's a difference. Yeah. And it's it's nice to have something like that. So tell me this, can you explain? Yes. So if I was, right, if I was to do the rosary, where do I start? Josiah, do your thing, he's gonna print one off for you. He does it. Yeah, so here's what you do All right, this this this this I'll give you the bare minimum. Okay, so we have what's called You know the the the Nicene Creed, right? Which is the Creed established at the Council of Nice here that has the basic prayer

There's one our father Apostles Creed, sorry. All right, slightly modified but basically Apostles Creed, sorry, all right, slightly modified, but basically the same thing. Three Hail Marys, a Glory Bee, which is Glory Bee to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever, amen. You then do, stop it, you then do an Our Father, okay, then ten Hail Marys, a Glory Bee. Our Father, ten Hail Marys, Glory Bee. It's all the way around, but here's the thing. There are different mysteries.

So you have joyful, sorrowful, and glorious mysteries. And so the joyful mysteries are things like the Annunciation. So while I'm praying these 10 Hail Mary's, I'm meditating in my mind upon the scripture passage of the angel Gabriel who approached the blessed virgin and said this to her That's what I'm meditating on. I'm maybe even putting myself in that story, you know Yeah, I'll say the glory be now I'm on to the second decade, which is when our blessed mother visits Elizabeth and I'm You know with the Christ in her womb. So that's what I mean when I say it's a Bible study on beads

You know, so it's you know, you know, it kind of reminds me of and to the sort of interrupt you. But I think to the argument, someone will talk about what about vain repetition? Yeah, vain repetition is bad, but this isn't vain. You know, this is this is repetition. But the angels are repeating, holy, holy, holy. And I don't think anyone would accuse them of that either. So it sure can be. But just because something can be abused doesn't mean it's

wrong. So I actually find it very rhythmic. It's like, um, I prayed it today. I just, I sat down and I just take 20 minutes and I closed my eyes and I just sort of envisioned that biblical passage and I get to meditate on the life of Christ. So anyway, you know, it kind of reminds me of, yeah, it's like when people start trying to stop smoking, they wear a rubber band and they have a crazy flick. No, but it's like, I can see it for like anger.

Sometimes like you're really frustrated at things in life. And I'm just like, you know, and then I'll come back later. It's like, if you can have, having a physical item in your pocket. I mean, look, we're humans, there's no point trying to pretend to be an angel and say, we don't need physical reminders. Now pocket, I mean, look, we're humans. There's no point trying to pretend to be an angel and say we don't need physical reminders. Now look, I would also say if you're uncomfortable praying the Hail Mary, maybe you could just repeat the Our Father

or just even something like Jesus have mercy on me. Just something like that. It's about getting into the sense of rhythm. And it also, like you said, it calms the spirit. It does for sure. Hey, there's the prayers. Oh man. You know what's funny? You probably saw me do this to Andrew Clavin Yes, watch the show. Yes, and Clavin actually tweeted that he's prayed it a few times since I gave it to him

Oh my goodness, so they are Clavin's brain the rosary now. So you know, one of the guys, Thanks, thank you Josiah. One of the guys there, David is a Catholic and Nolz is Catholic to you, correct? Yeah. And so Nolz is a Shiite Catholic, I think. Shiite Catholic. That's a joke.

You're like Shiite Muslim. Yeah, I was like, wait a second. Yeah, I just took it. Whoa, wait a minute. And he's talking about like, Hey, we should go to Rome and go to Israel. If everything clears up next year. I'm like, yeah, I'd love to. And he kind of jokingly like, he's like, we're trying to get, he's like,

we're trying to get everyone to become Catholics or working on Ben and maybe you'll come over. But I'm like, I'm like, okay, look, it, to me, it's like, well, to put it, to put it, um, to, to put it in a way, look, I think, yes, as Catholics want Protestants to become Catholic, but at the same time, I think to put it this way, we can learn from each other. Now that might sound wishy washy, and I don't mean it that way.

But I sometimes will see some of my Protestant friends and I see the love of Scripture, like you reading with your wife. I can learn from you, go, thank you. Now my wife and I will read the New Testament together. I don't think we should be afraid of that. So if it's something about the Rosary appeals to you, well, you can maybe learn from us. Here's the thing. I think is there's core tenants that we mentioned earlier. And if some of the tenants go, well, you can be like the most high, he probably want to

not avoid that one. But if it's like, to learn more about why you guys pray to certain saints, that has cleared so much up. And I'm like, wait a minute, that's pretty intense because the word says to. So now I have a better understanding of when I, because when I read it, I was like, Oh yeah, you pray to saints and da da da da. But then I'm only thinking Jesus. So I'm actually negating a point of what the word actually says. And so it's like, if I can, and not saying it makes me any less of a Christian, but if I can add more in a weight, more, more substance to it, why not? It doesn't mean I have to show up at mass every week or not show up at mass, but I know it's like, wow, if I can get closer to God, if I can do something

that propels me closer to God, if I can do something that propels me closer to God, I believe in, he's shown me that he will correct me. If it's wrong, he lets me know. He lets me know in a lot of different ways. Yeah, and you know, like Catholics view the Blessed Virgin Mary as the mother of all Christians. So if you look at Revelation, what's really interesting, you look at Revelation chapter 12, you've got this woman clothed with the sun, the moon under her feet. She gives birth to the one who ruled the world,

nations with an iron scepter. We see this, this is the blessed Virgin Mary, and it talks about the dragon that goes off to make war with her offspring. And it says who the offspring are, you know, those who keep the commandments. And so when Christ on the cross gave, you know, John to Mary and Mary to John, he calls her woman

harkening back to Eve because she's the new Eve. And so Catholics think of Mary as the blessed mother, and her whole role is to lead us to Jesus. She's like the moon. Whatever glory the moon has is from the sun. The light is not its own light. So too with the blessed Virgin Mary. Wow. We sing her praises not because her glory originates in herself. It's because look how

wonderful God is to create this beautiful creature. So it all goes back to God, you know? Wow. It's just honoring his points of his creation. If God creates the most beautiful creature ever, you're like, well, I can't look at that. Can't say that's beautiful. It's like, what are you talking about? You look at a baby and you, you don't over it. You see a sunset, you, you, you revere it. And does anyone think we're not giving glory to God? Well, that's the thing. The sunset is a great example. Cause people say, man, look at that. God's so great. Yeah. But it's the sunset that initiates the

feeling. But imagine this conversation. Imagine if someone's like, Oh, look, that sunshed is so beautiful. And imagine somebody like, Well, hang on. That's God. Remember? You know, why are you even doing that? That's weird. I know it is like that's the whole point.

Yeah. And I think that's how Catholics feel. Interesting. They say the Blessed Virgin Mary, you know, they speak of her so beautifully. So for someone to say, Well, hang on. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's God. The Catholics like, What are you? Of course, that didn't. I don't understand why you no, no, no. That's God. The Catholics like, what are you? Of course that didn't. I don't even know. You're not even.

Yeah. Huh. Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Because again, from the outside, looking in, it was like, yeah, why are they revering this person as Jesus? And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one who is, you know, actually, the glory comes from him. I just love to debate actually for the last month and a half. Yeah. Um, I've been debating Jehovah's witnesses that come to the house. Yeah. My wife has to come and get, I love it. You say it with a wink. I bet that's your best part of your day when your wife's like, Hey honey, she's like, baby, you gotta come back in for your breakfast. I'm like, Oh,

okay, dang it. So you guys two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. They actually said they couldn't make it again. They did. Oh, but it's like, it's so I really, because I think it's, I think it's fun first off, but I think it's fun when you can, because I don't do it in a way where it's like, man, you're crazy. It's like now I've come to a place where I'm trying to do it to, to help them to see Christ and who he is. Like, you have to contend with these words that are in the book that you say you follow. Like, go do that. But it was a lot of fun and to get more information for that standpoint, it helps me to get closer to the

Lord. But then like when I hear stuff too now, I can go, well, you know, that actually is not really, let's not go into that misinformation about it. And you could try checking this out, check out this verse in here and see what it's all about. What was the context of everything like learning hermeneutics from my, from my discipleship class and all that has been, it's been amazing. I just wish that we, you're talking about that school, that trade school earlier where it's like,

you can leave with like a four year degree in trade and also in theology. I'm like, man, if we were getting back to that as a country, we would, the Americanism would go to such an amazing level, you know, go back to when the founding of the country, first graders had to, uh, had to memorize John, right? The whole book of John, like that was their reading. I'm like, now we can barely read and write. like that was their reading. I'm like, cool. Now we can barely read and write. Now I don't even know anyone's number,

but mine and my wife's. Yeah, well, at least you know your wife's. I still- I'm working on that one. Mary, help me. Hail Mary. All right, we have to talk about January 6th. J6.

Now, I'm not coming into this discussion knowing anything about what happened. Oh, really? With you, not with January 6th. Oh, okay, yeah. You knowing anything about what happened with you know, yeah You just mentioned that you were there. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so tell me what so j6 I wanted first of all, I wanted to go there because I felt this was gonna be historic I didn't know what this is my third time going to DC and at that point four months or five months or something And I was like, you know what? I want to see something. Uh, I just, and on the other side, cause being part of Hollywood and being part of

television and film, I understand how they manipulate video. And I'm like, you know, one thing that's going to have there is they're gonna have all these people with their own cameras. So they're in my head. I was like, so they can't lie. That's what I was thinking. They there, there's no way they could tell a story because everyone's going to have their own footage. Um, I didn't understand the reach that they had. Thinking this before. Yeah. Oh yeah. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go.

There's gonna be cool. I'm gonna see something like get a record history. So we're there. We're there. I'm there with this, this girl at the time that I was seeing and uh, she, we were staying at the Marriott across the street from the freedom plaza that are right there. It's a, not that far walk away from, uh, where we stood, which is a little bit in front of the, uh, the Washington monument. We were like the street of where it starts. If you're going back up the path. So we're at the street level, close to the street, but behind a couple of trees. It was super cold.

And at this point, I wasn't really there for the speech because I'm one of those, I'll intake a lot of media. So I've heard him say this stuff over and over, the numbers and him, Giuliani. So it wasn't about like, is he gonna say the thing? Like I heard it all. So it was more like hanging out, taking pictures of people that were all marching or marching over to the Capitol

and me and old girl, like, I'm like, it's it's cold let's go back to the hotel room like okay so go back to the hotel room take my boots off I'm hanging out watching TV I was like let me see this is probably well you know I don't know the path the God has put me on because of this it has been ultimately great so I have to say I go I always think let me see what the other side is saying about this. So I turn on MSNBC and there's a reporter going, it's a dark, the dark scene or something like being very macabre and it's like, there's blood on the ground and the people and the cops. And I'm like,

she's lying. Mind you, I have my experience of almost a whole year of Beverly Hills rallies, which is like nothing but love, peaceful. Even when Antifa came and started fights, it got pushed away. And then we went back to loving on each other again. And so, and I'll tell you the Antifa, sir, as a whole nother thing, but, um, so I'm like, she's lying. So I'm like, I'm going to be the crazy guy who are news report that comes behind the camera. You know, that's what I was, I want to do. So I put on my boots.

I'm like, I'm gonna go tell them, go find that camera crew. So I start heading down and it's about a mile walk from the hotel to the Capitol. I get there, it's probably like an hour and a half, almost two hours after all the major stuff that had been played over and over on TV even happened. So as I'm walking down, people are walking back, I'm like, is it over?

People leave, they're like, no, there's still people there. People are just meandering. It's not like people are like, it's still happening. Like, no, it's just like, down, people are walking back. I'm like, is it over? People leave. They're like, no, there's still people there. People are just meandering. It's not like people are like, it's so happening. Like, no. So it's like, ah, people are there. The same energy I got the time I came before. And so we get down, I get down closer to,

closer to the Capitol. And as I'm walking, I just by myself, I actually bump into one guy. He's like, excuse me, I'm on my man. I bump into him, I look up. It's Magga Hulk. And a couple of the guys in the photo I was telling you about, they're all there,

but go, what's up, what's going on? We're like, you know, giving each other love. Some lady recognized us from Beverly Hills, she's like, hey, can I interview you guys? We're like, okay, so Magga Hulk and I are doing interviews. And the interview ends exactly when, we're by the scaffold where the American flag was draped over.

And so the interview pretty much stops when people start singing a national anthem. So we turn, take a hat off, and we're singing a national anthem, the whole place is singing a national anthem. Like, wow, this is awesome. So one of the guys is like, hey, let's walk up the scaffold and go to the next level.

Okay, so we start walking. As we get closer to the top of the stairs or the scaffold leads to like the second level of the Capitol, I believe, you actually, you can smell remnants of, what is it? Pepper spray. So you kind of smell in the air,

but it's not, you can tell I'd been there. So you're kind of like, oh wow, this kind of sucks. But then I'm walking around, I see cops are standing on the side of a wall and people were just kind of standing there and one cop was spraying the whole crowd and you're like, they're just standing there. One lady stands on top of the wall, like just kind of being more annoying in front of a cop and the cop pushes her off and I'm like, Oh wow.

And I walk around. Yeah. I walk around to the other side. I'm like, all right, this is crazy over here. Let me walk to the other side. Basically it's just see what's going on. I walked to the other side. Basically it's just see what's going on. I walked to the other side where it was pretty calm.

There wasn't a bunch of people doing anything. Everyone's just kind of getting me in and around. As I go up the steps, I run into this one guy that he ended up getting indicted the day that they raided my house. He got indicted. I just see him and I'm like, oh, what's up? And we say hi.

I'm recording some things I'm seeing. People are standing there and I'm like, he's the one guy that was like, oh, what's up? And we say hi. I'm recording some things I'm seeing. People are standing there and I'm like, one guy was like, yeah, the cowards are hiding inside. And I was like, yeah, they're cowards, you know? And walking around and recording, recording, and there's a doorway. Now there were these two guys who were in all military gear with the gas mask on so I couldn't see their face.

And one guy's like, I'm following you. I was like, all right, let's go, you know, and mind you again, coming from the last one, the last time I was in DC and the Beverly Hills rallies, Trump supporters were friendly. They're nice, they're cordial together. And it was not like, you know, I can't trust you, can't trust, so he's like, I'm following you. I was like, all right, come on, let's go, bud.

You know, nothing, anything of it. We get to the doorway and I was like, hey, this is the way to go in. Let see what's going on like again let's just see what's going on we're kind of walking into the doorway and it was like imagine going to a rock concert or a football game where is this packed and you got to kind of take slow steps together I get to the doorway I get about maybe not even a about a foot in maybe and then the cops were saying they're kind of stopping us from going in further anymore. So we're just standing there and I get my phone. So I was like,

I reach around and I'm starting to like record as much as I can get one guy over here. And I'm like, I heard they got Nancy Pelosi's desk or whatever. What's going on? Do you hear that? And the guy's like, I don't know. And then there's, there's cops standing against the wall, just hanging out. So at this point, do you believe that you're breaking and entering into the Capitol? God no, why would I, no. No one said anything, no one's done anything. The other cops, there was cops lined up against the wall

on the inside standing there, and I have the footage of all this. So the only one guy was just kind of standing there kind of holding us off so we can't go any further. Then a guy in a riot gear comes up, he goes, I need you guys to go back the other way now. We're, okay, kind of doing it. We're kind of talking a little bit here, and I'm like, need you guys to go back the other way now. We're okay. Kind of doing it. We're kind of talking a little bit here.

And I'm like, I'm like, hey, yeah, we're going to get it done. We're being reasonable. And I was kind of joking on the film, like, this is the most reasonable ride I've ever seen. You know, like kind of joking like, cause that's kind of what I do. And so I turn around, I go, we're going to be, we're going to get it done, man.

We're going to be reasonable. I turn around, all right guys, we've got to go back the other way. So he gives me a commander, us command. I repeat the command back to people behind me. We shuffle back out. Now the guys who were in the mask, I go, Hey, let's go this way. And so we basically the doors here, we come out and we walk to this side and there is a window that was all busted up. And I'm just so kind of like, man, people were pissed. Like I'm like, this is what

happens when you lock people up for a whole year. And then, and then like, and I said it and I was like, and then you steal the election. Like, because that's what I thought happened. I really thought we see now 17 million people just disappeared over the last recent election. I'm like, this is what happens. And I'm yelling. And I started saying, I'm like, look guys, we're not mad at you at all. I know people aren't mad at you. They're just mad at what this government has been doing to them. And there was one cop there that I did see somebody,

somebody had grabbed his pepper spray, or a pepper spray, and then they threw it back, and this one cop was standing around, and he got hit in the head. It was like, it wasn't anything too hard in a way where he knocked him out or anything, but he was standing there now by the window, so just kind of chilling, and I go,

hey man, again, this is all on tape, or on video I should say, we don't have tape anymore. I'm like, hey man, I saw what happened, that wasn't cool, are you okay? And he's like, nah, he kind of does this. I'm like, I hear there's a curfew, I go, who's gonna enforce that? And he's like, not you, huh?

He's like, clock on the wall says it's time for you to be off, I kind of laugh and joke. I'm like, okay. So I walk away, I walk, so the window's here, I walk a little further down to the side of the building, on this other side of building there's a bunch of riot cops just lined up just standing there not doing anything. So I go up to them, I'm like, guys, like we're not, we're not, like we're not bad people, we're not trying to do this, like we're, people are just upset of what's been going on in the country

and it seemed to happen, nothing against you, because again as Republicans and Trump supporters and Maggots, like it's not like we're anti police at all. You know, if anything, we back the blue, all this stuff. So I'm talking to a guy, I go, do you guys, like everyone's hiding? I'm not hiding. I haven't said my name is Siaka Masako. I'm an American. I'm not sitting here trying to hide from this. People are just upset. So then I turn and I'll walk around the other way to get some more video and see

some more stuff. I saw this guy fill up. We took a selfie and then I'm walking around some more. And the two things that I saw that I would really stood out why I knew some of the people there weren't really MAGA supporters or Republicans was there are these two guys, separate occasions. One early on, he was grabbing men from behind and going, let's go. And trying to push them forward. And I was like, leaders don't do that.

Men, real men don't do that. If you want someone to follow you, you go follow me this way. And I saw it again with someone else doing it and this big guy grabbed him and big, white dude was like, shut up and threw him back, like cut it out like that. And I'm like, and so I noticed that

because of Beverly Hills, when that Antifa group came, they literally came and looked like the orcs, they were coming in Helms Deep for two towers. Like we were all light and they were coming in, it was dark, they were all dressed up in bike gear and like had like bats and everything. And I noticed there were like three or four kids that were Antifa weeks before giving us crap,

now dressed up in MAGA gear, but it was always, it was all big so it wasn't fitting them properly. And in Beverly Hills when they had separated us, these guys were on the side screaming curse words at Antifa, which was getting our side worked up. Oh, interesting. So when I saw those two guys pushing people, I was like, that's Antifa. You knew that right away. Right away. Cause I saw them do it the other way where they were trying to like, yeah, you PC racist beat it. And I'm like, that's Antifa. You knew that right away. Right away, because I saw them do it the other way,

where they were trying to be like, yeah, you piece of racist, beat it. And I'm like, I'm looking at it, and one of the guys, I remember I called him coward, because he tried to like get a black dude to fight somebody else for him, even though the guy was talking to him. He's like, oh, you said monkey?

Hey, black dude, he said monkey, beat him. And I'm like, no, no, you're a coward. I saw the situation, he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to you. And so every time I saw him come after, after I was like, hey coward, what's up buddy? Right, and so when I, again, I saw the situation, I wasn't talking to my baby, I was talking to you. And so every time I saw him come after me, I was like, hey coward, what's up buddy? And so when I saw that behavior, I was like, this is something else. Anyway, I leave to go home, go back to the hotel, and as I'm leaving, I notice the cars

that were parked, and I kind of chuckle, and I made a joke. And people walking around go, huh, if this was that Tifa riot, those cars would be burning right now. And everyone's like, I know, ha ha ha how we're laughing. I think nothing of it. Cause we just saw the summer of love, right? So get back to the hotel girls. I was worried. I was trying to call you and I'm like, Oh, I didn't even see me. You know, my phone get back home. Uh, and I was not hiding that I was there or what I did because I'm like,

like, Hey, you know, you can see me, you're not going to, Oh, we got to get him because he was just there. And then they started raiding people's houses and I was like, Oh wow. I'm like, well, you know, again, I've been very vocal on social media. I'm not trying to hide. So it's not like, I didn't think anything of it. I didn't think that they would come after me because I've been so vocal and I was talking to the cops. My name's Siaka Massa. Like all that stuff. Um, and then on June 10th, uh, like five 45 in the morning, I'm like, I'm sleeping in my,

the way my house is situated. The first two rooms up front was my best friend and his sons. I had a couple in the front room and then it'd go down the hallway and then I had the back room. Right. And so this is, this is before I woke up, my buddy, my best friend, he goes to the bathroom and as he's going back, he hears banging on the door. And he looks out the window and sees a police, you know, see the law enforcement. So he goes out cause he didn't want his sons to wake up. So they're holding ARs ready to go. And so he said, he opened the door,

put his hands out. They pushed the door open, grabbed him, slammed him against the wall right there. That window that he looked at, that's where the, their bed is. So there's his sons now are looking at his dad, their dad with guns pointed to the back of his head being cuffed. What did they say his dad did wrong? They were just doing a raid. They were just doing a raid. So they need to clear the house. So everyone in a, when they do that, everyone gets cuffed and taken out of the house. Okay. So what I'm saying is what was the,

what do you think they would have said the justification was for coming in hot like that? J six. Yeah. But what, but what about J six to the, are they accusing you of there? They were ultimately, I think they thought that I was connected with. So the guy that I ran into a, Russ, they were indicted the day they, they, they, um, rated my home. I was on a telegram group with him and, you know, I don't know a hundred plus people and I don't know if you've ever been on telegram. I don't know what that is. Okay. So it was one of the, a new, uh,

encrypted, um, kind of social media type of text messaging thing that started coming up and people, the one problem with telegram is people just throwing people in different groups. So also now you're part people just throwing people in different groups. So all of a sudden now you're part of like six or seven different groups, SoCal, you know, MAGA, MAGA for Trump, you know, all these different groups. And I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever.

If you missed a day, you go back and there's 500 messages. I'm like, I'm not reading all these damn messages. I have a life. Seriously. That's actually what I told the guy. He was like, cause he came in when they, well, let me break it down. So they, they take him away. Brian, they, they take the other two and I'm hearing,

I'm in bed and I'm hearing FBI, FBI, FBI. And I'm like, it's kind of like you come into consciousness as you're sleeping. I'm like, I'm laying there. I thought it was a dream. And then I started getting in consciousness and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Like, I'm like, no way. So I put my glasses on. Luckily that night I wasn't just sleeping on underwear. I wore sweatpants and I opened the door as soon as I opened door because I have a dog too and my dog rushes out and they turn AR is to cut right in my face. Hands up. I'm like, please don't shoot my

dog. She's a nice dog. And I hear hear him, friendly dog, friendly dog, friendly dog. They come and they grab me, cuff me up. And the lead agent, Chad Warren grabs me and he's like, I was like, I was like, I want to see the warrant. We'll give it to you after we clear the house. I was like, I want to call my lawyer. He's like, well, it's not an arrest. So it's not like that. I was like, I want to talk to my lawyer. It was not like that. We'll clear everything up after we clear the house. They're taking me out, take me down that driveway. I was telling you, Mac, the Charlotte walked, we have a little gated fence. And as we get outside the gate, I look over and there's another agent standing on the gate.

I'm looking down the side of the house with his gun, just waiting as if somebody, if somebody comes running out, he's going to take them out. And I'm just like looking around like, what the, what's going on? No one has ever seen me and I've never worn any protective gear at any of the rallies or in DC. I've always been wearing a shirt, t-shirt and a hat, you know, or whatever.

They came at me at our house, like I run guns or like I have drugs or women or something like that. You know, I'm like, this guy's standing there as if someone comes out, he's going to take them out. Like we're hiding illegals in the basement or something. It just, it just really blew my mind to the level that this was happening. There's cars all out in my street. I look over and the only person that I

recognized because I couldn't see anyone else, they had, uh, Bryson, the younger one, he was three at the time and they were putting him, the lady was holding him, put him in the car. And I'm like, dude, what's going on? He goes, what? There we cleared the house. They put me up against my wall. I'm just sitting there. They're like, are we clear? We can go back in. So I'll go back in or I'm sitting, they put me back and I'm sitting on the couch. They let my dog in. So I'm rubbing, you know, saying what's up to Ginger.? Uh, then I let the kids and it was like an emotional thing.

Then let the boys in next and the boys come running in. They hug me and, uh, they, they let, um, the two roommates, the, the couple take ginger over to their new place. They were, they're moving out in a few months or a few weeks anyway. And then let Brian take the kids to, um, his ex wife. And that's when they, they came in to start a question to me. And they were like, oh, you were on this telegram group with Russ Taylor and Russ did this, that, and the other.

He's like, did you hear anything about them wanting to transfer guns over state lines? I'm like, what? He's like, I was in that telegram group. I'm like, bro, have you ever missed the day on telegram? He's like, yeah. He's like, you see all those messages? I go, I don't. Have you ever missed the day on telegram? He's like, yeah You like you see all those messages. I got off time for that I go I didn't see anything like that, but I have time to go read through all those messages

Like I got a life I got stuff to do and then they're like They're like well, you know cuz what him and this other guy did in there was disgusting and did it I'm like, alright, like I go look the Russ that I know that's not the Russ I know That's all I can talk about. I can't talk about anything else. I can't talk about what he did or didn't do because I don't know. But the guy that I know is a nice dude.

Like I went to his birthday party, like that's it. I was a lot more emotional than I am now. I'm like, and this is not America. I was like, you coming into people's homes, like this is not America. I didn't do anything wrong and you're raiding my house. My family left another country to come here and not for this that for this not to happen.

Our country was in a was in a 20 year civil war up until George Bush ended it. So we know what it's like when it's the grill, you know, uh, warlords are just coming in guns ablaze and kicking in people's doors. And I'm like, this is not the country. And one thing that got me, uh, there was a, a montage on NBC where Brian Williams was doing a voiceover for Antifa. And he goes, Antifa was there on the shores of Normandy. Antifa helped to break, literally,

people can go look this up, it's real. And I'm like, are you kidding me? NBC is trying to say Antifa was what stopped the Nazis and glorifying them And I made that statement I go this country is losing itself like I just saw this and I make that point about Antifa stopping Nazi You know Nazis and fascism and the lead agent Chad goes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm like Oh, sorry knew this guy's this nice not a good dude. Something else is going on here or he's just lost. So I just really kept talking about how this is not America.

This is messed up that you guys were doing this, you know? And he was like, then there, one of the agents came to our, we got the stuff they were looking for. So I go back in and I'm my, my kitchen tables like this. And so they had my Maga hat, my, my cell phone, my laptop, my flash drives, my portable drive, hard drive, sorry, and I'm just like, I'm like, are you taking my hat, man? Like I got that at the only Trump rally I ever went to,

which was at the time was in August in Vegas. I mean, my buddy went and somebody gave me a MAGA hat. And mind you, I voted for him in 2016, but this is 2020. This is the first time I ever put on a MAGA hat was that hat. I'm like, guys, really, dude? Like you're going to take my hat. They're like, well, we saw you on CCTV with it. So I'm like, so what? Yeah. I'm like, all right. Whatever, man. Yeah. So that last year was so about six to noon. They leave when they leave.

My best friend comes back in and he'd been live on Instagram off our chief and That last is about six to noon. They leave. When they leave, my best friend comes back in and he'd been live on Instagram off our chief and Americano thing. So he comes in and we're live and we set it up and I'm just going off. I'm like, this is an American. He came in and I'm just going off about everything that happened. And I can be a very emotional person. So you had some tears going. I mean, it was a pretty wild incident. Then after that, about two days after that, because it was a Thursday that Saturday, because LA times had reached out to us and we didn't answer,

but they had gotten in touch with my, my buddy's ex wife. And she made a statement which was like, you just don't talk to media. My mom ignored them because the same thing my mom was like It's so crazy because I remember I told you about how I was on the newspapers from for getting DUI back in college And it was felt like the end of the world all that stuff. Yeah, God was preparing me for this Because when this started happening that Saturday morning, I go the news news talking about or reaching out to people and I know what they're doing They're trying to set something up to go actor data that I was trying to make a statement out of it But I did nothing wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. They're just gonna they're just gonna like paint it as a problem

Later that afternoon two hours after I made that video that's still on my Instagram right now LA Times goes Netflix actor rated a daily mail in England Netflix actor Like Chicago Tribune all these big papers are and in there In the story to go he was rated from this day for being a January 6 He's known for going to Trump rallies and telling people to run for local office That's what I was known for in their own writing

That's what I was known for in their own writing. I think about that. I'm so dangerous and they have to make a big splash, but it wasn't about the crux of the article, it was about the headline. That's all it was about. So, you know, that was June. All that stuff started happening. I wasn't in a sense known in the conservative world yet, so I was just kind of trying to get the message out there. Look what they're doing. Look what they're doing. That's when I was like, screw it. I'm going to run for office when we hit the next year. I was like, I'm going to Ronald Carr or J6. But I got in touch with a lawyer, Larry Klayman. I connected with him and and we initially filed a lawsuit against the FBI against those agents for violating my first and fourth amendment right. So that lawsuit lasted for about three years kept going up the ladder up

the ladder. We were supposed to have oral arguments of August, bless you, August of August of 23 we're supposed to have oral arguments. Then some happened where they removed this one judge who was our judge, who was a Reagan appointee. They removed him from all Trump's cases in LA or in California on the Ninth Circuit, which of course was one of ours. So then the judges they got our were three liberal judges. Uh, I want to say it was a two Obama and a Clinton.

And so they wrote an opinion saying, well, if you were supposed to go take your complaint to the executive branch, sorry, bye. So I got all the way to the California Supreme court. And they're like, Nope, you're supposed to take this to something else. And we're like, and it's funny that then two months later, right? At the end of, uh, it was actually no then two months later, right at the end of, uh, it was actually no, three months later, November 30th, coming back from, uh, as the lady ballers premiere, the movie lady ballers, the daily wire.

Were you in that? Yeah, that was an, I played, I played a deuce Johnson, the, uh, the, uh, uh, the announcer. And so we're coming back. Uh, my wife at this point is seven months pregnant and We get off we land at Burbank Airport Burbank's a smaller airport So when we land you land and you walk on tarmac, you know, you don't have walk on the little you know Kind of apparatus to get into the terminals. So

we my wife and a friend of ours who was, uh, who was in the movie as well, we get down and as soon as I step onto the tarmac, I look over and I saw like, there were like four people looking at me or looking at the direction. It just, something was weird, you know, is just kind of looking up, waiting for something or whatever. So as I stepped, the female agent comes in front of me, she goes, see, I'll come out. So I'm like, yeah, she goes, uh, can you come with us please? And also an agent on either side of me. They're like, this is three years after the rate.

I didn't get arrested or charged after the raid went and sued them instead, which I actually think kept them away from coming and getting me initially. That's just my own person. That went on for three years and a few months after the courts denied, then they came after me in the raid or came after and arrest me. Now the arrest warrant was issued on November 15th. They waited two weeks to come and get me on the 30th. So they could have gotten me anytime,

but they waited till I was coming back from the premiere on purpose because they wanted to get it onto the news media So the commoner and the guys grabbed me and they're like you have to come with us. I'm like for what they're like you're under arrest I'm like you tell me what I'm going to jail for or I'm not going and My wife's now separated so they didn't let us like say goodbye or anything They're like they're like it's right the guy over here on this side was like shaking right and he's just I don't like dude I'm literally, I was wearing a Barnabas shirt that had Jesus saves on the back. This is, actually, this is great. So I had Barnabas shirt, I'm wearing sweat pants.

And I think actually I was wearing these shoes. And so, and so, uh, and I had a little hat on and he's shaking and I'm like, why is he shaking? What do you mean? He's like, he's like holding me, but he can tell like his adrenaline's rushing. Like he wants to do something. I've been, I've been training martial arts my whole life. I can tell when someone's like hyped up and you know, and I'm just like, and he goes, I'm like, no, you're going to tell me. And so it was two agents here, the female left and his other male here.

And he goes, the guy goes, or he goes for January 6th. I go, I didn't do anything on January 6th. And then the guy here goes, don't, don't talk about it. I go, I didn't do anything on January 6th. And then the guy here goes, don't see you. Don't talk about it. I go, he brought it up. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, look guys, I'm not going to do anything. There's four, uh, you know, airport police, you guys all have guns, but I can be pissed. I can be upset that this is happening. I'm not crazy. I got my wife there. She's pregnant. I'm not going to do anything.

Like I'm not going to try to John wick anybody like chill out, you know And the guys like it was right there. He was look man. We're trying to make disease. We're not trying to embarrass you It's too late. He took me off the plane Everyone's watching. What are you talking about? He's like, all right. Look when you're gonna spend a night in jail, this is happening, you know So we're just trying to make it easy positive like I'm gay Right now she think I was like, ah damn it here we go again You know, so we're just trying to make it easy. Positive. Like I'm gay. I'm gay. Right. I was actually thinking, I was like, ah, damn it. Here we go again.

But we ended up because the L.A. County jail, by God's grace, was closed for the night. So they had Monterey Park jail, which is a smaller jail. So they're taking me in and in the car. I'm in the car with a female and this other agent. And I'm just railing. I'm like, man, this is bullshit. You guys knew where I was. I was like, at this point, I ran for office. I'm vice chair of LA County, the largest county in America for the, uh, for the LA GOP. My wife's seven months pregnant. I'm not going

anywhere. You guys could have called me, you know, you could have called me. And I kept saying this over and over. The guy finally says, well, we didn't want you to be prepared. I was like, Oh, that's what it's about. I go, and I know what this is. You're just doing this to get a headline. I didn't do anything. You're. I was like, Oh, that's what it's about. I go, and I know what this is. You're just doing this to get a headline. I didn't do anything. You're doing this so you can plaster up actor, you know, finally arrested this, that, and I was like, I know, cause that's the same thing you guys did after you raided my house. I'm like, well, what's my charges? He goes, we'll tell you when we get to the, to,

to jail. Like, okay, we get to the jail and I'm sitting there and the guy comes over and he's like, all right, he's like, well, he goes, here's your charges. And he's like, it's a, all of them misdemeanor, misdemeanor, misdemeanor, misdemeanor. I'm like, you guys came like this for me for misdemeanors? Are you serious? He's like, yeah, I mean, it's just, I'm like, okay. I'm like, whatever, man. Like I just, I just stopped kind of worldly fighting and I was like, okay, I'm here now. This is what I'm gonna be

I'm just gonna try to be calm and so I don't know how I got on it But I'm like, well, you know if God saved my life, you know Jesus helped me sobriety and did it and it's like hey you read the Bible and I start talking about God And I was like are you guys believers and the girls like oh, I'm not and the guys like oh, I'm a Catholic I'm like, oh really I was like, are you like like, Oh, I'm a Catholic. I'm like, Oh really? I was like, are you like, I did say this. I go, I was like, have you read your book? I say, are you, are you like most Catholics or have you, have you read your Bible or somewhere? I was like, are you, are you like most Catholics who haven't read the Bible or

have you read it? He goes, Hey man, come on. I'm like, well, have you read your Bible? He goes, no. I'm like, well, like what are you doing? You did it. I love that. Right. Come on. Have you? No. And so then I get changed up and everything. They put me in the cell by myself. There's really only one other person in the other side who was a drunk, passed out. So it was just really me and the jailer. And I'm sitting there and the first thing I do is, uh,

the nervous or get nervous energy. So I do some pushups and stuff. Then I get on my knees and I just start saying our father's over and over. Uh, so much so that jail closed the door to the cell. Cause she's like, all right. And she comes in later. She goes, Hey, do you want anything to read? I'm like a Bible if you got it. And she's like, I don't know, but we'll check. She comes back. She has a Bible. So I, in there, I literally I'm reading, uh, I was in second Kings cause that's where we were in discipleship class. And, um, I, I fall asleep with the Bible in my arms. Next day comes and it may have just been

a moment thing for me, but like she, the woman was just so ready to go. The guy, when I walked in, he was like, Hey, it kind of was like a little more, it seemed like he was a little more ashamed of himself. And I don't know if they had anything to do with calling Christ out, you know, and kind of talking to him that way. Anyway, they take me over to the US Marshal's office to get processed. I get in there, one of the Marshals,

like he kept looking from behind his computer, he goes, they're still doing J6 people? I was like, yeah. He goes, damn. I'm like, I know, man, I don't know. And I'm the only one in like sweatpants and have the shirt on the back has a cross says Jesus saved with chains around it. Now, when I get into Marshall's office, they cuff me on my wrist, my waist,

and my ankles. So now I'm walking around like I am a mass murderer. Yeah. For misdemeanors. They put me in a cell by myself and I'm just chilling. My wife, everyone gets in contact with my lawyer. So he was planning to take a red eye from Florida to be there. And I told him when I was able to talk to him the day before, I was like, well, one o'clock is supposed to be my court time, right? So there, everyone's planning to come at one and they're like, all right, come on out. We're going to have you go talk to, you know, your lawyer. And I'm like,

Oh, my lawyer is not going to be here. It's like 11 o'clock. So I go out and they put me in like a little cubicle to talk to him. The screen comes on and it's a public defender. I'm like, Oh no, I have someone. Like, all right, if you need anyone, we're here. I talked to the court, uh, the, the, the judge's clerk who was telling me, I was like, look, man, we're broke. I've been out of work since this, like we don't have much money. Cause they were trying to see like, Hey, we're going to set your bail and all that stuff. I'm like, we're just trying to say, we're staying alive right now.

So we don't really have money for bail, they were trying to see like, Hey, we're going to set your bail and all that stuff. I'm like, we're just trying to say we're staying alive right now. So we don't really have money for bail, but like, you know, what's going on? So like, all right, well, you know, I'll let you know. I was like, and I lost my jobs because I came out as conservative. So like I haven't been able to work as an actor in LA in the same way. So we're done there. I knock on the door, the sheriff's come by as though, yeah, I'm done. He's like, all right, we're busy. You know, we're understaffed. So give me a second. I'm like, okay, so I'm just sitting there all of sudden busting in my lures Like hey, he comes in with his travel bag and I'm like, I'm like Larry

Because we're all good. We got you a California lawyer and get you out today you go home today. Just don't worry about it I'm like, oh man. Thank you touching the window He's like, all right, just don't worry, we will get this done. He leaves. I get on my knees, man. And I don't know if you know the Brandon Lake song, Gratitude.

And so the lyrics are, so I throw out my hands and I praise you again and again, cause all I have is a hallelujah. And I just kept saying that over and over, you know, on my knees and hand, like as much as my hands there as I could. And, and so they're taking us out of there to transport us. Now they're going to take us to the court for our court date, you know, for our court session.

And when they take me out, they have you face the wall. So you're not facing out, you're facing the wall. So my face is just against the wall like this. His other guy comes up. He's like six one, six, this. His other guy comes up. He's like six one, six, two white dude, tad it up. If someone wanted to cast a white supremacist in a movie, like it was this guy. And I'm just like, Oh man, I was like, I'm not trying to prove none to nobody.

Just be chill, be chill. And so he turned and we start walking towards the, we start walking towards the elevator, right? And he goes, Hey man, nice shirt. And that Jesus saves right there. I turned and I go, Oh yeah, well, you know, Jesus saved my life. I was drunk and you know, so I'll start going through. He's like, Oh yeah, I've been reading the Bible. So now we're just talking about the Bible, about God, get in the elevator and we're still going back and forth about it.

There's four or five of us all together as, as the prisoners and then two, uh, guards. And so him and him, me and this guy who has like an overvart like this, who, his thing was he was trying to get out and finally get out on Bay or he was trying to get out on a good behavior, but he had stabbed a guy earlier, like the year before. So he didn't know if he was going to get a chance to get out because of this. Like that's the kind of guy that was in there one guy was like ran drugs another guy ran money one guy was just a gangster at me

and so it's so and everyone's in there you know jumpsuit I'm in just a you know sweatshirt and yeah Jesus saves and then we're talking we get in the van and then the one guy who kind of looked like an old cheech from Cheech and Chong with a long beard and stuff and he's like he starts chiming in. We started talking, we started talking about CS Lewis, started talking about Lord of the Rings. Then we get back to the Bible. Like that's what was going on. And then we get to a point, we get to the, um, the courthouse, we're walking in, shuffling in, and I was, I tend to,

I just happened to work out was the last one of the five. Everyone's going in and I knew my wife was going to be there and my lawyer at least I come in and these for, for bail hearings is just small seats is on like two rows and maybe a, eight seats across each of these two rows that are separated by the little middle section. So it's not a big gallery. So I walk in, I look over, I don't even see my wife, because I see the pastor that married us.

I see people from God's Speak Church, which is an hour away from downtown LA, at least. I can't even find her because there's so many people there to support. I can't tell you how it was just, it was just, it just blew me away. And so I'm shuffling and they tell me later, you're shuffling in, you're literally in chains. And we see the cross that says Jesus saves on the back and that blew their minds. And we get to behind the, we get to behind the jail, which is, or behind the courtroom, which is like a holding cell. So we're in there and we're talking and we're just

kind of going back and forth. And, and, um, before we go out there, that big tall dude, he kind of bumps me. He goes, Hey man, can you pray for us? I'm like, Oh yeah. You know, okay. You want me to say, yeah. Okay. So I do a prayer. I finish it with, regardless on if we were released today or we're held, we know that as long, we know that as long as Jesus got us, we were gonna be okay, amen. And everyone's okay.

And then they start going one by one. Each come back, ah, she's a bitch. She's not, she's unreasonable. She's a, I'm like, ah, damn it. I'm gonna have to stay. And it was a holiday weekend, so I would have to stay in from Friday to Tuesday. So it was my turn and everyone in there is like, Hey man,

we hope you get out. We hope everyone's like hyped up, you know, trying to give me, I'm like, all right, good luck. So I shuffle in, I push the door open as I opened a door, everyone there stands up. My past pastor, Jesse's buttoning up like, let's go. And I'm just like, like, this is, it's just, the support was just, I couldn't, I couldn't even, I can't quantify it. You know what I mean?

But it was just so much and I'm walking up and my wife's in her all black dress, stomach sticking out. She's holding her Bible. She's wearing a cross on her neck that her Godmother gave her that she's never taken off. And she's coming around the corner and I'm walking up to her. I give her a little kiss, you know, and the guy was like, Hey, you can't, you can't kiss. I'm like, all right, man. It was my wife. He's like, I'm going to have you like leave. You said you were gay. Yeah. It was record shows.

I'll start doing that. I'm sorry. No, that's great. That's great. I got away with it. Um, and so, so I get there and I stand next to my lawyer and I can feel the people still standing behind me. Matt, it felt like they had their hands on my back. Like we got you. Yeah. Yeah. And so we go through the process, the magistrates like looking at the paperwork and she's like, they want this type of release from misdemeanors. Uh, what's like,

she's confused. The DA is like, uh, you know, I don't know. And then the representative from the government was like, yeah, this is the rule. This is what we're going to do. They actually tried to take away my second amendment right. And I'm like, dude, I'm nonviolent. Like there's no reason to, we live in LA. Like LA is a crazy violent time to town. You're not going to take away my guns. My lawyer, you know, lobbied for that. The the DA didn't push back they were all confused really more than anything else judge like okay we'll grant you that we'll actually even drop

your bail to 500 bucks so if that's a if I didn't show back up to anything else I would then owe 500 on top of whatever else happened so he dropped it from a thousand to five hundred and they're like okay you're gonna be released like great and I didn't know this part so this is how God was still working I leave I get to the back and I'm like they're sitting you know they're like, okay, you're going to be released. I'm like, great. And I didn't know this part. So this is how God was still working. I leave, I get to the back and I'm like, they're sitting, you know, they're letting me go. The guys are like, Oh, they're like happy for me. One of the guys who was quiet the entire time, the Hispanic muscle dude, he was just sitting there quiet the entire time. And before we separate, he goes,

Hey, congratulations on your baby. I was like, Oh, thanks man. It was just like, like they, he was listening. He was hearing it, you know? And at this point I leave, but I didn't know I was supposed to sign the paperwork to say I'm leaving. And the DA was supposed to sign it too. If you don't get those two signatures, I don't get out. So I leave and they're like, court was closing in 10 minutes. And so they're like, no, he has to get out tonight. My friends, no, he has to get out tonight.

My friends were like, he has to go out. So there's one lady who works security at Godspeed Church where we go, who named her little car after me, the side of Siaka, a little sports car. They're like, we need to get the DA. She goes, I'll find him, takes off out of the courtroom to go run around the courthouse to find this guy,

finds him in a parking lot, getting in his car to leave for the night. She goes, we need you, grabs him, brings him back in. He signs the paperwork. The clerk lets my lawyer sign on my behalf. At this point, I'm sitting underneath the jail in the van, like waiting, like, all right, like, you said I can go, let's go, let's go,

let's go on, right? And the guy finally comes back with paperwork and he's like, all right, guys, let's go. Sorry for the wait. And he, they don't say anything about why the weight was happening. So I had no idea this was going on. Right. We get back to for them to, uh, to process me out. And as they're doing that, the guy who yelled at my wife, he goes, Hey man, I'm sorry for yelling at your wife. You know, it's just these protocols. I don't, I get it. You know,

thank you for saying that. Uh, I was like, oh, no, I get it. You know, thank you for saying that. I get out, they're like, all right, bye. And so I could take the elevator down to the lobby and I- Had a beer. Yeah, no, I was like, let's drink. No, my wife was right there. My lawyer's there. I gave my lawyer a good hug.

I gave my wife a hug and a kiss. And we walk outside and we ended up seeing the people who were there to support me. They all come around from different angles. When car pulls up, people walk this way, this way, all come in and surround me, give me a big, big hug. And it's just, it was just like it was all God. And I, it hasn't a story, the story of when the, the, the prison door swung open.

And I'm like, it happened. I lived that. I lived what was talked about in the scripture. Like what? It wasn't this thing of just a magical, it could just happen, but it can be described as that. Cause all I did after that moment where I was like, all right, I'm just going to be here. I just worshiped the Lord. That's it. I didn't say like, you know, Hey God, you know, this isn't right. It fair. No. It was just like reading the Bible fell asleep, praying. When I was in every, every cell that I walked in, pray, saying the song to worship to him, talked about Jesus as much as I could to these

guys and the gates swung open and it wasn't supposed to like have to, even God was working through other people to bring the closure to that moment to my friends had put together a gifts and go defense, see aca.com. If you still want to help. And it put that together within the first 24 hours that we had hit like $60,000 Jeremy boring wrote something on, on a X was like, he's a good dude. We back them all the way. Uh, Gina Carano came out. I was like, one of the nicest guy,

like the amount of support compared to the raid where like I wasn't kind of in the circle yet. No, not that many people knew me. So I was kind of waving from the, the sticks, be like, Hey, you know, this is crazy, right? So we should say something to then over here. This is what I saw that we can take the, the, the, the narrative back. Those guys jumped on real quick. You had post millennial wrote something about it right away. Daily wire wrote something about it right away. Epoch Times, everyone wrote about it in a positive way. And I ended up talking to the,

Jennifer Van Leer, who is the editor in chief of RedState. And I told her the story. I told her everything in there. And I didn't talk to any left of me, the left media, but Newsweek did an article about it and they had to pull from our sources, which included me saying that no matter what, I know as long as we got God, we're going to be okay. So they had to put that in there because that's because I didn't talk to them. So they had to pull from the evangelize news. We exactly, and I'm sitting there going, well, that's cool. Um, and you know, we've been

in the process so far and we're able to raise somewhere around like one 80 and that because we're fighting the whole way, I said, not guilty on all of it. So we're going to always. So that's costing. We, we got the initial court date for my trial. It was supposed to be October 15th, but it got moved out to, uh, to January 21st, the day after inauguration, right? Which is Trump saying that he's going to pardon day one. So it's like, what are we doing? But with that going out, it kind of, like, I think God's going to take care of it. But the meter of the lawyer still going, let's just say, so then it's a two extra months, then

we're able to raise. But I think he's going to take care of that. Wow. So this meant, this meant a lot to you that Trump won. I mean, oh, I was going to jail. I was going to prison, federal prison, if he didn't. That was just what it was. That's not even a question. And God knows, I mean, they were putting grandmothers and people with cancer into federal prison for months to six months to a year because they were just there. I know a woman who had house arrest for the entire nine months of her pregnancy

for standing on the grass. A buddy of mine, a former U S agent was there just to like was on the grass, but with his gun, they're like, all right, 20, we can get you for 22 years. He's still fighting. Now these people are sick and they were trying to, I mean, I'm telling you this as far as I'm sitting here and his table is real. I was going to be in federal prison if Trump did not win that election. That's just what it was. Wow.

You know, so when you won- It was a little bit more nail biting for you. Oh man, it was, well, yes and no, it wasn't nail biting in a way. It was more like, I'm not going to jail. Oh, wow. You know, it was that relief because- You were the daily wire officers? Yeah, I was there.

What was that like? That was awesome. That energy must've been amazing. So I was there and I was, uh, we, I actually got to do Tim pool show cause he was, Tim was recording at the same time. So I did a show for about a half hour. I'm sitting next to this one lady and she had her ex husband who was like at Muri Lago with Trump and the guys. And you heard the story about Elon with his app knowing that Trump won. So,

Oh yeah. So he, uh, Elon had this app that he developed that saw where the numbers were and he knew Trump won like 930. So at 930, 945, she's telling us, and she's like, oh yeah, they said it's over. I'm like, what? And she shows me the text

and I'm sitting there reading it while we're on the show and I'm just like, so I knew at 930 that he already won. So I'm just kind of like, all right, let me wait till it's set out there. But, but it was said like it was done. And she showed a picture of him sitting with Elon, uh, their friend took where they're just like celebrating and stuff. I'm like, wow. I'm like, huh? And I remember giving Jeremy a hug afterwards and I go, I gave him a hug and I looked at him and I go, I'm not going to prison.

So he laughs and, and I mean, you know, say what, anyone can say what they want about daily wire, but you know, they didn't have to take a shot on me and sign me to a contract, um, that changed my life and my wife's and my child's life to be able to afford a home and coming off of, I think within, from 2020 to 2023, before this contract that probably all three years combined may maybe around 50,000, 35 to $50,000 maybe, you know, and that's like scratch scratching and clawing and to,

for them to do that when they didn't have to. Well, not just that, but for Jeremy to stand up publicly, publicly like man. So people can say what they want. I know I say what they're doing, but the Candace thing, there's other rumors happening now, but I'm like, look, I, I watched them take a shot on someone in an industry that doesn't take shots on people from the entertainment world. They go, no, good luck. We'll wait till it smokes clear. And I remember talking to Dallas,

Sonier, one of their producers who I, that's who I connected with first from daily wire. It was the day after I was arrested. I'm talking to him. I'm like, Hey man, I just want to thank you for all this and that. And I told him the story and he goes, he goes, he goes, no, don't worry about it. He goes, we're your friends. He goes, we couldn't call each other friends if we didn't come and support you. And I'm coming from Hollywood where I just lost my manager for six years because of what I believed in. My agent didn't even have the courtesy to write me an email.

The friends that I had in Hollywood all disappeared. And these people that I, to a certain extent, just met that we vibed on the same direction for this country and the same faith were like, we got you. And I'm like, literally people I've known for decades disappeared, disappeared. And to see them stand up, you know, it's a, they have a loyalty to me unless they do some personal in my, me or my family.

They have a loyalty to me that, that no outside force can break, you know, cause they didn't, they didn't have to do any of that stuff, bro. They could have been like, good luck, you know, Hey, we'll say, they were like, no, keep going. Keep going. Like you, like we got you keep going. I'm like, wow. He's like, we're not Dallas said, he goes, we're not ashamed of you being in our movie. You can go and talk about it. Keep, keep pushing. I was like, all right, well, so watch, watch lady ballers on daily.

You know, so it's the actual now, now we're at a place where we tried to get the, uh, the trial moved back, uh, further just because of what Trump's promises. The, they said, the court says, no, we can't do it based on untel us and the official acts. We were like, look, now you're just wasting time and people's money. It's like, now I gotta go to DC, um, be there trying to get a flight and a place to stay in the week of inauguration. That's like, now I got to go to DC, be there trying to get a

flight and a place to stay in the week of inauguration. That's probably gonna be crazy. So you know, we'll work that out. But I know God's gonna take care of that. But it's just, I think I talked to one guy who got convicted recently, former Marine, and he's like, he goes, God's blessed you brother. He goes, God is going to have you in there in DC during the inauguration. Think about that. And I used to, I thought I've had more like, man, I got to find money to get, do all this extra stuff. He's like, no, God's put you in that place to celebrate historical moment. And I'm like, well, it's a great way to look at it, you know? Um,

so that's what we're looking at it now, waiting to see. And, and, um, again, everything's up to the Lord. Everything's up to the Lord. Thank you so much for sharing so much. It was beautiful. And I told you I could talk, man. I'm sorry. It was amazing. Where can people support you? Where can they follow you? Where can they find you? What movie are you working on right now? Well, it's gotta be one. You gotta, I'm actually, I don't want to talk about it because I don't want it to be

lost, somebody else to take it, but I'm working on a story that is, uh, that is out of the town that I'm living in, in Tennessee, a beautiful story. And I'm, uh, we're going to work on it with a couple of producers at DW and hopefully we can bring that to life. Cause I think it's a perfect story for right now. Um, I'll wait to talk about that, but if you want, you can find me on X at Siaka underscore Massaqua. That's Siaka S I A K underscore M A S S A Q U O I.

We'll put these links in the description Josiah. Is that all right? Oh, thank you brother. You can also find me on Instagram, but Instagram is kind of, uh, you know, they, they, they censor like crazy, but if you want, you can find me at underscore Siakamasko and check out our Hollywood for freedom new podcast called the new Hollywood show. You can find that on it's on YouTube and X and we're just kind of, you know, kind of interviewing different people to, to why our side needs to entertain and tell stories just like Jesus did. Like we shouldn't be telling our stories. And if you want to help donate to my defense fund, you can go to Defend Siaka, Defend S-I-A-K-A dot com. And if you can't give money, they have an option there with Gifts and Go where you can get prayers. And I've

seen prayer work, so that goes even further than money. So you know, thank you for giving me an opportunity to be on the show that my wife and I've seen prayer work. So that goes even further than money. So, you know, thank you for giving me an opportunity to be on the show that my wife and I loved from afar being like, wow, that's pretty cool. And now we're sitting here like this and thank you guys for taking the time to listen. I got to finish one of those freaking fantastic hands. Yeah, good hand. Yeah. You should wait till you get my, one of my hugs. They're pretty good too. We'll do one of that too. Gay way.

No, not in the trying to not be in trouble at the, at the courthouse way, right? And jail. Yeah, I'm gay. What? No. Thank you brother. I appreciate it. This has been great. This has been great.