Pints With Aquinas - Aussie Comedian James Donald Forbes McCann

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

⭐ Become a Locals supporter: http://mattfradd.locals.com/support James Donald Forbes McCann is a stand-up comedian from Australia. He is associated with the Adelaide Fringe Festival. In 2018 he won three awards at the Adelaide Comedy Awards. His early shows at Adelaide fringe were titled 'Wolf Creek: The Musical', and 'The Sound of Nazis'. 💵 Show Sponsors: - STRIVE 21: https://strive21.com/matt - Ascension app: https://ascensionpress.com/fradd Get Agony Magazine: https://agonymagazine.com/ James vs. Condoms: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFbZ0gh413c  

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So thank you to those who would consider supporting mattfratt.locals.com and if you can't do that, you could at least subscribe. So please subscribe, hit the bell button. Thanks so much. Whatever you- I love my Steins. And we're live with Aussie comedian, Donald Forbes McCann. Hello everybody. Great to have you on McCann. Hello, everybody. Great to have you on the show. Oh, nice to be back. Last time I had you on the show was it was right after just meeting you. And you did a great stand up comedy bit at the Scar lounge.

I felt so bad about how that went. Did you? Every gig, I felt bad about. How do you feel after you give a talk? I feel bad after every time I speak to people. I feel shame and insecurity. Yeah, I think of everything I wish I had done better, which is a lot every time. I feel that way if I share it vulnerably, which I suppose is what comedians often do in a way. I just feel slow.

I feel like if the timing is wrong for a second, it's nice about a talk. You don't have to worry as much. Well, hello, birthday boy. It is Thursday's birthday today, everybody. Twenty five and never been kissed. That's not true. That's not true. I'll give you a big Eastern European style birthday kiss. So Thursday to Thursday has really tried, tried hard to introduce me to video games. Oh, man. And I want to be into video games.

But he said the other day to me something very insightful. He's like, I actually think you don't like video games. Oh man. And I want to be into video games but he said the other day to me something very insightful. He's like I actually think you don't like video games. He said like you like stuff from the 90s and you like the idea of video games and that's true. Yeah. So Thursday I got you a gift. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh All right, so let's see all right ready bump that camera. Yeah, I'm ready That is an original Super Nintendo holy cow this is amazing is it Yeah, I'd you like it and I got you two games that I used to love playing okay one sim city not sin sim the original sim. And this game, honestly, I remember laying awake at night thinking if I just had a Super Nintendo with the following game I'm about to give you, I would be happy. And what you needed was Jesus. I know, I didn't know. Street Fighter 2. Let's go. That's so cool. This is awesome.

And then there's your, you know, the It's the turbo version. Turbo version. Yeah. Means you got the sumo wrestler. Nice. I don't know what that means. Honda? I think it's that's that's right. I was born after the stage.

You just made a mash punch. And then there's like the controller and everything in there and yeah, we love you. You're awesome. Thanks for all the hard work you do on Pines. I'm so glad. I said you don't get your hopes up because no I got my I didn't get them up and I'm glad I did. I should have. Is there a controller in there?

Yeah, just one unfortunately. I should just be looking at the intro screen watching. But the music would be pretty sick. Oh, I love Street Fighter. Yeah. Yeah, they kept going. I didn't follow it on. Yeah, and I streamed like 10 or 2 ago. It was a game changer. kept going. I didn't follow it on. I quit video games. Yeah, and I streamed like 10 or 2. It was a game changer. Well, I was, I was too, I didn't remember it changing the game. That's my like default. This is a fighting game. It was that Mortal Kombat. Yeah. I couldn't believe they had Mortal Kombat in public places. You could rip someone's spine out while families were watching. Yeah. Isn't that bizarre?

It was a bit bizarre. Were you in Mortal Kombat? I know you've got Sub-Zero up there. I loved, I was there. I had a, remember Australia? You've got Sub-Zero up there. I loved I was there. I had a member of Australia. We call it Sega Master System. I think they call it something different here. But I had Mortal Kombat one. Yeah. And I could never beat Raiden.

So I just chose to be him. And then yeah. Mortal Kombat 2, Mortal Kombat 3. And I got big into Tekken. Do you play Tekken? Yes, I would choose to play King. And the guy who dances. Which one was martial law? He was the Bruce Lee looking fella.

Oh yeah. There was a guy who would do like Brazilian dances. It was the Jamaican dude, I forget his name. I liked that. I was big into video games until like, until I read the book that I gave the Thursday that he hasn't read, Crime and Punishment, and then I couldn't play them anymore.

I don't know what happened. Something snapped inside of me. And I was trying to finish Mass Effect 2. I got halfway through Mass Effect 2 and I was done. I'm at the point and this is going to sound pretentious and maybe it is, but I get the same rush from reading an academic study or reading a good book by Dostoevsky that I used to get playing a video game. What I loved about video games was it absorbed 100 percent of my brain energy. I felt sucked into something and I didn't feel scattered.

I felt all of my energy was concentrated. I would have gotten into drugs in a big way as a teenager if I wasn't playing video games 100 percent, because it's the same thing. It's like just I don't want to think about any of the rest of my life. Yeah, it's a bit like that. Six hours, which I now I cannot do. Drugs or video games? Either. There's no time. The kids, the kids are too small. Six hours. Which now I cannot do. Drugs or video games? Either.

There's no time. The kids. The kids are too small. I am. Last night was bad. I complained to your wife on the drive here. What happened? I got Street Fighter 2 style heel kicked in my chest by my baby.

Just right in the sternum. He broke the heel down. Was he sitting on your belly? How did that happen? He was like just lying on the bed. He woke up. We were both asleep. He twisted. I won't do it now. I'll pull a hamstring.

Yeah. And I, um, you know, you become, you can't stay that angry with a baby. Yeah. Because it's inappropriate and they're very small. But boy, I was angry with my baby. Well, what's funny is when you get hurt, there is this initial visceral. I'm going to fight back. I could take you.. And then you, no, we won't. Yeah. We'll be the bigger person. A lot of it is fighting. Man. When I speak to young parents about involuntary thoughts and all that, like they think it's going to be, they know it's going to be bad to have a baby because

everyone has braced them. Yeah. You know, it's good, but no one tells them you're going to feel violent at two in the morning and you're gonna have to do something with that Yeah, and no one's ready for that. No one's ready for waves of I'm shocked that so many babies live they are just Do you know what I mean? No, I do I remember before I got married hearing of a woman who? No shook her baby. Yeah, like through a baby How could you do such a thing?

Obviously that's a monstrous thing to do. Yeah. But you get why people get crazy because you don't sleep for 72 hours. A little bit of judgment. It's not good. It's not good. And you can't do it. Don't get me wrong. I don't shake my back. I've realized that people can hear what I'm saying.

Yeah, lots of them. I never mistreat my children at all. But last night I did raise my voice. That was about as... I raised my voice at everybody. I said, this is not... I didn't mistreat my children at all. But last night I did raise my voice. That was about as, and I raised my voice at everybody. I said, this is not, I didn't say that. I used some choice words that I now regret. And I apologize to my wife this morning. That's the way to do it, man.

Every day I apologize to my family. It's so slow death. Man, to sleep. When does that come back? It's gotta come back soon. I've got brain damage. I would say by the time your kids are four and five, all of them, youngest is four or five, When does that come back? It's gotta come back soon. I've got brain damage. I would say by the time your kids are four and five, all of them, youngest is four or five, then you'll be able to sleep.

I don't see that ever happening. I didn't either. I'm gonna start riding a bicycle and standing in front of a microwave. So I gotta just slow it down. Just for a moment. Which we're allowed to do. As Catholics. Oh, I get it.

Francis says you don't have to breathe like rabbits. Yeah, sure. Stand in front of a microwave. So I want to hear about your trip to Austin and Joe Rogan's club. It's the best club I've ever performed at. So, first of all, when did he start this and what is it like? Post-COVID. OK.

He used to be a punk music venue in downtown Austin. And he after COVID, he moved to Austin. I didn't get to meet him. He was on holidays with his family, but I got to meet everyone who is in the Joe Rogan orbit, I guess, which was cool. And he just, he said he'd like, he's got so much money from, I guess, a life of doing comedy and that Spotify deal. He just went like, well, what if I build the perfect comedy club? That's exactly what I want it to be. And he did. I mean, it's things that that everybody should do that would be affordable for everyone to put in their clubs in the green room. There are two screens where you can see what's happening on stage. And that when they get the light, you get the light in the green room. So no one is taken by surprise when someone finishes

their set. It's like every small detail. Help me understand because I've never been to a comedy club, especially not to perform. So what does this comedy club have other than that that most comedy clubs don't? Oh man, they take everyone's phones at the door and they put them in those, you're not allowed to use this phone bags. They have great security. They have... man, the stage is... I mean, most comedy clubs, the stage is at the wrong level. You go in and you... the stage is like... Too low, too high? Often too high. And you can't talk down to people like that doing comedy. It feels weird. It's acoustically perfect. They're like, the roof is at the right. Sometimes it's a cavernous

thing. The way they're sitting, you want people around you so that their laughter hits you immediately. It's loud. You sort of want it to be like a bus on its side and the further back they are, the less they can contribute. And like everyone's just there in next year. It's a, that's awesome. Ah, it's magical. I was terrified of doing badly. Like you get, you get this is the perfect circumstances for comedy. If I'm bad now, I do have to quit. Yeah. I want to, I want to only get to how you did but I love the idea of phones in the bags when who started that and do You know, was that Jerry Seinfeld might have been Seinfeld might have been It's such a beautiful idea Dave Chappelle was doing it I think they must they must do it for copyright reasons, but it also just helps people be with each other I don't want to I think a lot of people are trying stuff out and you never want people to see you fumbling through.

Cause it starts out very offensive and then by the end it's okay. What do you mean? Well, just any bit, you have an idea for a bit. Oh, I see. Maybe the bit is shaking a baby and accidentally not having that baby anymore afterwards. And you say that wrong 15 times.

You know there's something in it that's funny to communicate but all someone has to do is have their phone out and record that bit and then you're the monster. Well that must give you a lot of freedom, eh? As a performer, were you like, okay, this is nice? Well, not me at that show because I was also like, wonderful people are watching me. This is my first gig in America. I was also terrified that the references wouldn't work. And then someone said, just treat them like an Australian audience and it'll be fine and it was fine So leaders, how did you apply? I don't know how it works

I is it just an open open mic or one was an open mic. That was how I got to audition there In front of it's run by Adam Eaget who was the psychic of no McDonald. Yeah the whole time there. I'm gone You know McDonald. You're a you deny the Holocaust. He doesn't really, that's just a joke that Norm used to say. Um, but he made it. I mean, six, six million, too many other way. So that's a joke. Again, that's a norm joke. There's gonna be a lot of jokes in this episode. If you don't have a sense of humor, you should watch another video. There's, there's a lot out there for people on the algorithm. Oh man, it was so nice. And then I got put on because my friend Shane was doing the whole week and I turned up in Austin.

I was ahead of my family. So the stand up night where they select you to man, is it a different night of the week? Yeah, so I think that was on on Mondays they have sign up and people drive in from hours around to put their name in the bucket and get on. So how many were on the same night as you when you were trying out? There were like 12 people on before me and then that's where people also work at the bar. How quick is your set? It was everyone was doing three minutes.

How bad was everyone who came with you? Two guys were great. Yeah, 10 guys were, you know know just normal open mic people what was weird so the first gig I went to was Kill Tony which was uh it's like it's Tony Hinchcliffe does this it's like pro wrestling meets stand-up comedy so people put their their names in and they do one minute of comedy and then a panel of really good comedians one two strips off him it's uh it's impossible to be good at a minute. Do you know it?

Like you can't, hello folks, how you going? And then they ring the bell. So I went to, and that was 8,000 people in the HGB arena, which I thought was pronounced the Heeb arena and people let me know that that was incorrect. And, uh, I hadn't slept in like 35 hours and I got to Austin and someone said, do you want to get on the bus? And I said, sure. We're in America.

What does that mean? Get on the bus. Oh,, it was it was Shane Gillis was the shine. Oh he Shane Gillis was saying Gillis. Yes, so I was staying at his place, but I feel I mean he's also I open for him in Australia Okay, he's a lovely man, and he's also now the most successful comedian in the world. So I feel like dropping he was canceled a Saturday literally Ended his contract. He was meant to start as a cast member So I feel like dropping he was canceled a Saturday I've literally Ended his contract. He was meant to start as a cast member and they are they look through his old podcast and they said you can't be doing some of these things and be on Saturday night live and He just kept doing stand-up and is

Cuz similarly to being a great sketch actor at the best stand-up comedian working. I would say maybe two months ago He started exploding across my algorithm and I didn't know who he was or where he came from He does the best Trump impersonation I've ever heard. He does the hair He says yeah the trick he said do the hands a second after they meant to move the hands are not quite connected to the voice He's really good at it. He's also got the new Trump the old Trump. So he got you to do a Stand-up He's really good at it. He's also got the new Trump, the old Trump. So he got you to do a stand up, a contest. I opened for him with some of his friends. So he had a bunch of his friends. Oh, I see. So you performed at the actual people expecting to be. Yeah. Well, no, and they are. I mean, they're waiting to see him.

And then he's got seven people beforehand and they're very gracious. Are they? The audience. Yeah. I had such a nice time. I also have to reset. Not every American crowd is gonna be like the drink at Joe Rogan's comedy club there to see Shane Gillis. Yeah. You know, I'm gonna get some bad crowds at some point, but if all of America can stay like that.

Having an Aussie accent is going to help you. I think it buys you a minute or two. That's what I say. I say the same thing when I give talks at high school. I'm like, it buys me a minute and then. And then they'll listen to what I'm actually saying. Hopefully. If the minute and then. And then they'll listen to what I'm actually saying. If the minute was okay.

So how, I know you said you feel deep shame and remorse after you get off stage. Every time. How did you think it went objectively? People around me were telling me it went well and that I was allowed to come back there, which is usually the trick. That is insane.

But I'm there, you know, sweating going, I said that word wrong. I did that thing. There was that five minutes, but that's often It's always weird when a comedian thinks that some people will come off stage and they'll be okay And they'll be like fist bumping everybody and then they'll go I'm the king of the world. I'm the man you go. Yeah, you were okay. Yeah, I think it's that What's the name of the effect where like the better you are at something in poster syndrome? Maybe no, it's that too something like that. It's like a

something in poster syndrome, maybe. No, it's that too. Something like that. It's like a Donning Bar or something. We're like, the more you know about something, the more you know. What also reminds me of our Lord's words, right, of taking the lower seat. Yes. And then being invited up to the higher one. Like you would rather have a kind of posture of humility, knowledge paradox. Knowledge. Yes. I would rather have a posture of humility and be like, no, you actually did great.

You know, I didn't feel weird saying it's the knowledge paradox and the Dunning, it's the Dunning Kruger. But then that sets me up as I only think I did badly because I'm so fabulous. And that's not good. I was thinking about how good hell is as a, just as a, to have it. Hell? Yeah. Okay.

Because it makes us afraid all the time and it gives us a reason for altruism that you don't have to fake it Right. I do not understand Well when you think you've been kind to people and sometimes you think I'm being kind to this person because it's good to be altruistic So therefore I'm not really being altruistic You're right, so I'm wrapped up in this like but if you think about hell Dunning Kruger is when people who are stupid think They are smart. Yeah, it was recently disproven apparently It's by someone who was smart and wanted everyone to know that they never had to

be humble about it. So what was, but you know what, but you want me to, hold on, I want to, I want to, this is my new thought about hell. All right. Leave me through it. Altruism on its own. It doesn't make sense from a secular point of view. What is altruism? I know, I know what it is. Kindness on, it's just basically thinking of the other for the sake of the other. Yeah. And you know, and you give someone something, you know, like you give a bum on the street $10 and you think,

but I also want to be seen to be giving the bum on the street $10. I want to be the sort of man who does that. I want him to know that I'm a good person. But when there's hell and you're not, it's not, you're actually, you're trying to live out a life to escape from your own burning forever. Then it removes that complication of why am I doing this? What is this for? What is a good person? Am I a good person? Am I pretending to be a good person? I am afraid of going to hell and everything is just running away from that. It simplifies out. Here's what's gonna happen throughout the course of this interview. You're gonna say things that you may mean to be funny and I'm not gonna get it.

I don't mean that to be funny. Well, then here's what I think. I mean, I think I want to be obedient because Christ commands something. And then what I realize within me is that I have ulterior motives when I do the things Christ commands me. But then I think as you start to kind of mature, you realize, okay, well, sure, I do have ulterior motives, but that's not a good reason to not do those things. So I'm going to do them and realize that I'm not fantastic. And in the act of contrition, I love that they put both.

They go, you know, and I'm apologizing to you, God, because of hellfire, but also because I love you so much. And there is that whole, there's that Eastern mystic tradition of like, if I do this to go to heaven, don't let it count for anything. Which you know, it's okay to be imperfect in why you're doing a good thing, I think, you know, you've, it's good to have both. It's what it given to us for our salvation that there is a hell. You have those kind of moral categories, right? Like in order to assess a moral act, the object

has to be good. So too does the circumstances and the intention. Yes. And so if the attention is bad, then it's not a good act. So if I do give money to the bum just to impress you. Yeah. There's something deficient in that act. It doesn't mean there wasn't some good. There's something there's still a good in one. That's right.

I'm a man worth impressing. Yeah. But if I even if it's a very small good, you know, if I'm trying to impress you. It is. I mean, we're all a mess of complicated ambitions. Yeah. So it's almost best not to try to untangle that web and just try to be faithful to Christ's command and repent at all times. But we, I mean we live in a weird

post-fraudian society where everyone's like trying to pick apart the subconscious motives for you know their relationships and why they're there for people. Yeah. It's so nice to just simplify it. Go watch Shane Gillis. For God. He's a really sweet guy. He's a wonderful man. I don't have a bad word to say about him. He's, uh, some good things about it.

Well, I don't know the week I was there, I mostly we played a lot of video games and I watched him and I was playing, I don't, it was some game where you were Thursday. May know this one. I don't know the answer. You were like, uh, you start out as a peasant farmer on the run in a big kingdom and you have to build up a squad and kill other peasant farmers who are also just working for other warlords until you are a mighty team rust rust.

And I think it was rust. There must be a lot of games like that. So he's not married and he's got time to devote to video games. He's not. Yes. Yeah. Even then, my insight recently was that modern video games are very long. They take a lot of time to play a lot of hours to put in. Yeah. And I don't have that kind of time. And so when I hear about it, I guess I'm a great guy. I'd like to try and play that.

But what would happen is I'd play over 30 minutes. I'd have to go home, be with the kids or, you know, do you know, we've decided that you become properly addicted is that you pivot to streaming? Like just video games. This is what I do. This is my work, honey I have to go and play video games for eight hours today to put food on the table. Yeah, it's not me It's the job. Yeah, I dream about that a lot. Oh Just having a I I have to go and play Civilization 5 Were you in what games did you play as a kid? Oh Oh, just having to, I have to go and play Civilization V.

Were you in, what games did you play as a kid? Oh, how old are you? 33, 34? I'm about to turn 33. Sweet. Final Fantasy VII was the first one I sunk a lot of time into. I loved Final Fantasy VII and I never finished it. I deleted the game accidentally right at the end

when I was teaching my brother how to play it. And then I accidentally saved over my file and I never went back to it. It haunts me to this day. It's one of the most silly things I've ever done. I think that video games can be sort of recreational but people have to know themselves and realize that very often it becomes dissociative. I think they're worse than drugs. I would rather. Really? Yeah in terms of I look at my friends lives and I guess where the hours are going. That's true. I mean Fentanyl will just take you out and look at the split.

And often video games and drugs go together. I should get playing Command and Conquer. Well, that's a good one. Have you seen the one where Jordan Peterson is the bad guy who pops up on the screen? No. They have his like, listen here woke leftists, but he's like. In what video games? In Command and Conquer. Really? Where like, it's usually a Russian guy who pops up and goes, I will destroy you. And it's Jordan Peterson going, I'm coming after you. And one of his beautiful spiels, I don't know what else I mean, it's, it takes so much time. And then also someone is someone has built it to try and trick you into continuing to play. And that's, that's very annoying. I like chess a great deal. And thank you for bringing out the chessboard

the other night with, I forget his name. Dr. Mike Welker. He was a very gracious chess partner and I had a great time. What's cool about Dr. Welker is his PhD in economics. He also is like third degree black belt and then also a deacon. Dr. Deacon sensei, Mr. How many titles does a man need? Make, give him a knighthood and get it over with. Well, they don't like that gear. Yeah.. The monarchy is that was my big pushback. I did argue with Shane about monarchy. That was my one. It was a one and a lot of Americans I feel are not ready to accept

that it's a superior way of running a country. Where are you on that? Oh, I don't have enough developed thoughts to go into that life. I just love it. But I'd be open to talking about it over a beer. So you were doing comedy prior to your conversion. Could you tell me about your conversion? How that even came about? Yeah, I was like nominally Christian. We grew up Unitarian and it's like just a very wishy washy church in Adelaide. And, uh, when I was on the road, I would go to like mega churches just

to perversely look at them. Yeah. Cause it's a tremendous spectacle. Is this before you were married or? Before I was married. Yeah. Yeah. I'd kept doing it while we were dating.

And then, um, I had a friend who was going to the Latin mass. And I said, which I'd heard about, there were people in Adelaide who senators went to the Latin mass and like great writers and thinkers in Adelaide. And I thought, Oh, I'll go along. I'll look at it. Cause I'd been to the Nova Sordo and it can be done well. I now have been going to it for the last five weeks in various places and I don't have a problem with it. But as a, as a spectacle on the way in, it didn't immediately strike me as something that I wanted to do every Sunday for the rest of my life. But it's a Latin Mass. So who suggested you go and what was it like? My friend Paul had started going and his sister and his brother-in-law and it was great. It it was 200 people at the time. It's now like six times bigger

and there's no space to have your increasingly large family. That's right. The priest complains about how many people there are. You met this priest in Adelaide. What does he say? He'll just come over and go, there's so many people here, James. And it's like, well, you could be like all the other priests

and tell them condoms are fine, but you're sticking to the catechism and people keep growing out of the ladies who come to this mess and people showing up as well separate to them want a re-enchanted world and Many of the banal parishes just aren't there to offer it We want to be told to repent we want to be invited a bigger story, and this is why traditional parishes are explored. Also, like if God is dying in front of you and saving the world, would you just stand and say that? Like, that doesn't seem to reflect the grandeur of the thing that's meant to be happening in front of you. But when there's like men walking around and you don't know what's going on and there's

incense and there's... I went to the, there used to be a Catholic bookstore in Adelaide and I went to try and figure out Pauline's. And I went to the mass and then the priest happened to be there and I said, I'm trying to find a book that explains the Latin mass and what's going on. And he said, if you figure it out, you tell me. Who said that? My priest. Yeah. Father McAfrey. Yeah. That's terrific. And I thought, oh, that's a cool thing to say. I will keep going. But it's, yeah, I mean, it's just so weird and mysterious. And so you can tune in and out.

And what was your experience of it like? It was the first time, because you didn't grow up Catholic. So this is really the first kind of. Yeah, I mean, it was weird and complicated. And it felt, it was also, it was the second week of Lent. And so everything is purple and you come back and everything's pink and it's all purple again. And then it's Christmas.

And it's like, just on that run, it's like, is every week different? Is every week a weird color and a weird new song? And there was, I think it was God of Mercy and Compassion was the hymn, which is, as an Advent hymn, I think I said, I don't know if I said Lent before, but like all the Advent hymns are sad,

but they're also optimistic and you go, this is like so much more complicated than the Christian music. Like the theme being conveyed here is, I have sinned. I want God to help me. He will help me. I shouldn't presume that. There's so much more in that than, yeah, yeah, baby.

You're my savior, which is good too. But there's an intellectual component to Catholicism, which you don't have to have. It's a good peasant religion as well, but it's like, it didn't feel dumb. It didn't feel like they were trying to dumb it down for me. It's like, here's the thing that we're doing. You can come to it and enjoy it. And we hope you continue coming back, but we're not going to mess with what we're doing to make it easier for you.

It's not about that. You wouldn't want that in the long run. It's so respectable. It'd be like dating a woman who was willing to lower her standards as opposed to saying. I mean that can be good too. No, it can't. Excuse me. So, it's the way I'm married now. If she held out for a good man, I'd still be single. You'd be screwed.

That's funny. So, okay. So from your first mass to what was the journey to getting going to RCA or coming? No, well, I just did catechism with the, with the priest. Ah, very slowly, because I was touring all the time and I was asking a lot of, I really pushed back in the catechism a lot. What did you find unpalatable or difficult to swallow? I mean, everything. It's just, well, it's like, it's an entirely different way of seeing the world. I guess the biggest pushback was the hierarchy of the church, which seems being a Unitarian and then nominally Protestant.

It seems like Christ is saying that's bad. Like he's talking to the Pharisees a lot and he's talking about, and the priest said, well, is he talking about that organized religion or organized religion in general? And you go, all right, I got to totally, I got to go back to it and rethink it all. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, call no man father. And then what? We're calling every priest father? I'm going to need that. Explain to me. Yeah.

I mean, there's so many things like that. Was there some? Why is it all covered in gold? I like that it's all covered in gold. I like that there's beautiful finery everywhere. Aren't we meant to sell everything and help the poor? But yeah, was there something about Catholicism that many Protestants find difficult to accept that you like no no this one's easy. Oh That's a complicated question no it is uh I Don't know I have to think about it. Because they're out to this day, I guess a lot of...

Praise to our lady, the rosary, was those things difficult? No, I mean, I find Anglicans and Episcopalians just don't care about Mary. Like, she doesn't figure, they're not opposed to the Mary stuff. It's just like, it seems alien and a bit odd as a fixation to them. And then among Lutherans, I mean, some are caught up financially in it. People who, I know a lot of people like work for the, I mean, the Lutherans you're financially taken care of. If you're a priest, it would be very hard

to walk away from material provision. When you became Catholic, were you married at that point? No, there were some people there who had us live in different places for a while. Well, hang on. While we were courting,

because they found it inappropriate that we were living together and coming to mass. Oh, I see, so you were living together, you were coming to mass. But they were very good about it. They were very gentle and kind. They weren't jerks, yeah. No one was a jerk about it.

Yeah. But they let us know that was a better way to do it if we wanted to and that they would help us. That's beautiful. Yeah. And was your wife becoming Catholic at that same time? We started going at the same time. And yeah, what was it like to learn about the church's teaching on contraception as

two people about to get married? Presumably. I mean, we didn't know anyone with a lot of kids, so it just seemed like a sensible thing to do. Yeah. So you will be squitting them out forever. And which I still think, you know, like if it wasn't for, my wife's had a series of health problems having children, but the actual having of children is not, it's great.

It's so great. Well, we were- Stop at the first ugly one. They're good. Well, they're beautiful to someone. They're, yeah, I don't know. I didn't find that to be troubling. I guess on a gut level,

I was aware that contraceptives were gross. Were you? Condoms are gross. They are gross. Yeah. We have a whole video about that we'll link to. Yeah. So I guess I didn't mind that. I mean, I didn't think about how hard it would be probably because I lacked the imagination to think about what not sleeping was going to be like.

Getting kicked in the sternum. Yeah. I'm still pretty angry at my boy. Was it you kind of calling your wife into this new thing you've discovered? No, it was odd. She was very in it. It's hard now, cause I know in a secular world that it looks harder for a woman to become a Catholic

and less appealing than a man. Okay. Because having a lot of children is very burdensome on a woman's body. We live in a society where a woman working is important. Like she's got to get runs on the board and make money. And that's not really something you'll be, some people manage to do it, which I find incredible, but there's no, there's no way she's pulling in money at the moment, not least of which that we're on a visa where that's illegal.

But yes, certainly I think she's had more pushback and I'm sometimes afraid of appearing, you know, like I'm some domineering husband who's dragged her into conservative religion. But she's, there have been various times where my faith has conservative religion. But she's there have been various times where my faith has been no good and she's pulled me back in and vice versa. I think doing it as a couple is, I recommend it. I recommend bringing your man or woman along if you can. So two questions. Were you nervous about coming out as a Catholic as a standup comic? No, I loved, I loved talking about it. It's weird.

Because we just had Shane Smith on the other day and he got a lot of beautiful comments from secular people and Catholic people alike. Like his Instagram was filled with people who were like, I'm not Catholic, but I respect this. But there was also a lot of pushback as well. But I was blessed to be very unsuccessful. At that point. Yeah.

Well, even now, there's just not a lot of people who care. I see that what I do. But certainly because I hear that I was pretty conservative beforehand. And if anything, I've become more soft and groovy and left wing. I was like, I love the iron rant. Yeah, I read the film head and Atlas Shrugged. And I was like, we don't need medicine for the poor. More right in terms of economics.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. OK. But I mean, you can't be a young person and read The Fountainhead and not. Have you ever read The Fountainhead? No, it's it's like a fever dream of just be great. Go achieve greatness.

Go build skyscrapers. But I mean, I hear that I was probably unbearable and I think I was made easier company by having become Catholic. I hear that comic clubs and hanging out in the scene is quite difficult. A lot of ladies, a lot of drugs. Is that not the case? And if it is, how? I still find that very difficult. Yeah. I went to that kill Tony show and there was some very friendly and beautiful

strippers backstage. How do you wonderful time? It was very hard to practice custody of the eyes. Yeah. How do you know? And I didn't know I was going to be there, or that that was going to happen. But you know, you try and look people in the eye and have a, they weren't like working as strippers at the time. They were doing the show and coming backstage without trousers on. But you just try and, you know, but even then someone said, now watch out ladies, this man's a very conservative Catholic. And this stripper looked me in the eye and she was like, God bless you. That's so beautiful. beautiful And I thought it's a bit different in America

No one in Australia is really happy for you that you're holding to your conservative religion But there is you say have a blessed state of people here and people act like that's just something to say such a beautiful part of the culture because you have a lot of Vulgar very vulgar. Yeah a lot of language a lot of vulgar. I'm very vulgar. Yeah, a lot of language, a lot of sexual talk. I mean, has that changed since your conversion or will it change, do you think? Or if not, why is it OK? I just saw Nate. Do you know Nate Barghatze?

I think I'm saying that I just saw his comedy for the first time and he works clean and he's so funny that I had a big crisis. I was like, I've thrown it all away being dirty and blue. I want to be like this man. I want to and even before I was a Catholic, it was closing doors, being vulgar. Like I don't get a lot of work on cruise ships, performing for people's families. And the big one was I was working on commercial radio. I don't know if we spoke about this last time, but that was like, just before I was becoming a Catholic, I was doing breakfast radio on the weekends in Adelaide

and working for people on the weekday show. And then I was going through catechism while I was doing my first presenting spot. And it became, cause you can't be vulgar on radio, but also you can't, I've got this new evolving morality where I'm, you know. Trying to find where the line is. The the seal of a convert that anyone says anything against God or flipping about God that I'm pushing back in a big kind of weird way for 9am on a Sunday morning or whatever. Yeah. It's like when you fall in love and someone says something against your

girlfriend, you can't just sit there. Your back gets up, you're ready to fight a duel. And then also the woke thing was starting to come in the It hadn't quite reached commercial radio, but I knew it was out there And if I and they'd be like just use a Chinese accent for this bit and you'd go I don't I don't know that that's gonna be good for me right now to be I know you're not afraid of that But I I feel bad so it's like three morality codes that you're trying to live up to in any given time and it's maybe you can write a sketch or

poem or something that that can be censored in all those ways, but if you're being genuine you can't keep track of that many things at once so I sort of decided at that point that I would keep to what I thought was important, which is I love God. I love the natural law, I love the catechism that's as close to my morality as I can hold. So, vulgarity at the same time, it's like, I would never say something I think that was, I didn't, I couldn't religiously get behind. What about just swearing?

I think that's fine. In certain circumstances, there are instances where it's bad. I certainly don't think talking about sexual, explicitly sexual things is a good thing. And you do that. I do. I can only speak positively about what I think. Now I will say this because I'm going to push you a bit. Yeah, I'll take it. But before I do that, I find that the times I've heard you say things like that, I kind

of like the point you're making. So there seems to be this Catholic point that you're making behind a bunch of language. Yes. I'm please don't say it, but the Instagram joke, right? Like you refresh. I don't want to see that. Let's not get into it. But the point is like there is a sense in which you're like, I'm a Catholic and I don't want this. So I do think a lot of the time it's like, it's almost like you're a covert Catholic in the sense that I see these secular

people belly laughing. And yet you're making this beautiful point for chastity or a big marriage. Yes. I'm not sure the I'm quite convinced that the language in the Bulgari doesn't justify the end point. Sure, sure. That's my position. I know that has to be a weird personal thing. And I do I moderate my language in certain instances, but. No, I don't.

Yeah. No, I know. Yeah. No, I know. Cause I can't people accuse me sometimes of being tricky or like, what are you? Yeah. They're like, how are you a Catholic and doing that? Or how, you know, and I, or, or I think all you can do is try and be honest. And that looks insane. Like when you're really trying to be honest, you look like a crazy person and you might end up evolving because you're being honest right certainly I might change your mind and therefore you're gonna start looking different and

it's not because you're grifting it's because you're changing your mind on things yeah I should change our mind on things yeah unless we know everything but the sh I T word yeah I think yeah I'm okay I think I'm okay with I think you're more you're open to swearing I've gone back and forth with swearing a lot. I guess here's my current speaking about being honest, right? Yeah. So my opinion might change next week. I'm currently at the position where I think to swear among friends. Yes. Is acceptable.

Yeah. Yeah. But publicly. But it's also it's a bad business move. I cut that like publicly because I'm unaware of the people I'm engaging. Yes. And also I think it would be better if none of us swore. I think it'd be better. And why does it feel so good then, Matt? Because it's cathartic.

It's a release. This I don't sometimes people use it to police working class people. Interesting. There's definitely like a way in which when rich people have a potty mouth and they're having a good time of it They're doing cocaine Better be oh, yeah, yeah, you can go there This is a surprise You can go there and give it to him. This is a surprise. Well, can we take this over?

I've been looking for you. I've been looking for you. Sure. To celebrate just how great your producer is. We already did that. You did? Can we take another moment? Do you know that you're on the air?

You should be aware before you say anything. Are these on? They're all on. I do! Birthday! Happy birthday! Donuts and beer? I would love both.

Well, you know, it's still the morning. Is it a little Debbie's? You still have time for us. Where are you? Where, you know, it's still the morning. Is that a Little Debbie's? Where are you? Drop some of these off and then go sit with Thursday. Well, I need to cut these. Because I don't think he's had a Little Debbie before.

I've had their ice cream. I went to Walmart and I immediately had the Little Debbie's ice cream over the honey bun. They're really large. You can use this to cut it in half if you need if you need to cut it in half Is that the knife used to protect yourself on the stupid bill straight? Please please please there it is Here have that again proper. Yeah here have this Don't worry. It's only plan. This was not plan You want to take a beer out with you? No, no, no.

With her, say? Are you free today? Jacob, are you free today? Um, no, I'm not. But I love you very much. Well, can I just come to your house and pay my respects to your young family? Here, I got you the... What's that?

Can I just drive to your house and pay my respects to your family? Please! Right. They're a great family. We should have respect. What were we saying? Comedy. Words like... Right. Yeah, they're a great family. They should have respect. What were we saying? Comedy, words like. Jacob, do you think swearing is

used to control and police the working classes? He's saying. I mean, most most of the time when you try and destroy categories for people, that's ways in which you limit their ability to reason through a society.

I'm OK, thanks. Well, I'm trying to say that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that. But OK, so here's something people say a lot of the time, and I can't tell if it is a cope. Yes.

Or if there's truth to it. And we're going to get a ton of this in the comments section, because it's like the first thing everybody says. Right. Which is, it takes a lot more skill to get a ton of this in the comment section because it's like the first thing everybody says, which is takes a lot more skill to be funny without swearing. Is that true? And if yes, why, if no, why? I mean, it takes a lot of skill to be funny full stop. There are like 10 people doing it well in the world,

being funny. And I, I so prize being funny. Like if I'm on stage and I'm thinking out a bit and I can make it vulgar and it's 1% more funny. You'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it every time. I won't, I mean, I won't find it,

I don't find it funny if it's like, you know, disrespectful to God, in my understanding of what is disrespectful to God. But if I find it funny, that's a feeling that I, and that's, that's dangerous to go like, there's some feeling inside of me that I'm moving towards. There's some like conception of what comedy is. And sometimes you have to do things you don't wanna do.

There was a cold night in L.A. where I had to pour a drink down my front. As a part of a bit, I was like riffing with the crowd. It's like, ah, it's gonna be funny when I pour the drink down my front. I don't want to do it But I at that point I knew I would have to do this thing. Yeah, didn't even want to let him show Shane Warren died and it's like I don't want to talk about Shane Warren dying for the show I'm gonna have to let these people know Shane Warren's day

How did you do that? It was at the end of the night and I said Shane Warren's dead everybody get home safe. God bless you Okay, yeah, and you don't want to be making jokes about Shane Warren on the day of his death. Yeah Australian hero. Yes. Despite his problematic life. I think possibly because of his problematic life we got around him I think if he was that good at bowling and he was a clean-cut guy we wouldn't love him as much. I don't think that's true. You know you think everyone would have gotten around Shane Warren if he'd never put that beer glass in his mouth? If he wasn't committing adultery on his wife all the time. Yes. Absolutely. I don't think that's a plus. I think it would have been good if he didn't do that.

Good. Shane Warren is a leg spin bowler for Australia. Please. One of the best bowlers the Australians have had. The extent to which the sport is separated out. Do you find it weird? I'll tell you what I find very disgusting. Hit me. Yeah. 2020 cricket. It's revolting. It's horrible

You know what I find disgusting limiting a test match to five days Have the ultra test. Yeah people should just know we're not going to explain cricket people can go look it up cricket is the greatest Game on the line. I like cricket. I'd never liked it as a kid. Yeah, I was very bad at it And that probably is cricket. I want to go back in summer Just so I can just have cricket again, sit down and watch a game for five days. But I hear that 2020. OK, tell people bowl in cricket is picture.

Figure it out. Figure it out. Google it. But I hear that and and I'm not going to explain all this Thursday before you ask me. I hear that 2020 cricket is negatively impacting test cricket, that maybe the bats are being designed differently, that it's becoming a slog fest, even in test matches. That British we're trying. The English were trying to bring 2020 style cricket to a test match with. I feel like we we messed them up.

What? How? We beat them. With good conservative, tedious Australian test match cricket. Praise God. Here's what I was gonna say. I feel like the revolt against 2020 and the pushback and the return to test cricket is like the revolt against a sloppy Novus Ordo and the return to a traditional Latin Mass. Which way, Western man?

Which way? How many runs are you gonna try and get over this over? I mean, I know they're trying to open up markets and have money, but as baseball is taking over the Caribbean. Screw baseball. Yeah. Cricket is the Caribbean. Screw baseball. Yeah. Cricket is so much better than baseball.

I enjoy that baseball is perfectly timed to get drunk. You have like one Bud Light per innings and then by the end you are having a great time and really caring about it. I think Americans are pretty impressed when they realize a five day game. One game takes five days. And, oh, if we're talking about sport, sport and Catholicism came in at the same time. For you? Yes, I'd come back from Melbourne,

I'd had a big breakup, I was having a terrible time, and I went within a few months, I was at the Latin Mass and Crows football games. And it was like something about, I think I was atomized and looking for community or something. I can't tell. And I think it's more important to have the Catholicism than the football.

Yeah. But it's also very important to have the football. Both. Yeah. Well, that's funny. I'm reading Cardinal Pell's prison diaries right now. It's awesome how much he talks about footy. He was a Richmond VFL. I believe that's right. He was a rockman. He was a big guy. I think that's right. We've got to talk about the way in which he's regarded in this country is so I'm gonna move that down it's so different to how in Australia like despite being exonerated by a set of full high court yeah and so transparently being stitched up totally the conventional polite opinion remains that he was a sexual monster who happened to get off on a technicality everywhere else in the world people who aren't even that into people who don't love the church go,

this seems like a terrible, unjust thing to have happened to somebody. But they're so emotionally invested in destroying him in Australia. Could you sum up what happened for folks who don't yet know what we're talking about? We don't have to go into the details of what he was accused of.

I mean, he was a bishop for a long time. He became the- He was conservative. Very conservative. And he was a he was a bishop for a long time. He became he was conservative. Very conservative. And he was the public face of conservatism. Yeah, it was always him being brought out to make the point in the media. And people wanted him destroyed. And they I mean, to some extent, they got him. They certainly got his reputation in Australia.

But then he and then he was like the charge brought against him was insane. And then he was like, the charge brought against him was insane. Like everyone who, there's a great Julia Yost article that was released in Australia the day before the trial started. I think it was the day before the trial started, because after the trial started, it was illegal to make any commentary about it. You just had to sit back and, you know, they'd made their public case about it. And they'd had whole books released at slandering him, but you weren't allowed to defend him publicly after the trial started.

And Julia Yost has this incredible article breaking down all of the allegations and going, none of this is possible unless this man, as well as being a paedophile, is a magician. Does he have the skill of an acrobat to have done this in a public pool? Yeah. It's, but the willingness to believe it and try and bring him down was astronomical. I was, I remember going to the ABC when that was on and people are going, how dare anyone defend a convicted pedophile?

How did, and then when he was no longer a convicted pedophile and totally exonerated, no one comes out and goes, sorry about that. Everybody. I was a, was a little too much faith in the Victorian high court. Should have waited for the proper federal thing to get underway. I can't imagine what it would be like to have your reputation ruined in that way, because you know that even your closest friends at some point are like, well, that's, I mean, anyone. I went to a monastery and people wouldn't defend him. Yeah. Um, cause also people in the left, you know, and the liberal soft wing of the

church also had a lot of axes to grind. I hope you'll be a saint. I, I, I ask for his intercession regularly. That's good. I got to go and pray by his tomb when I was in Sydney and it was, I felt his paternal affection, I have to say. Man, I don't think they've started tearing down statues and plaques and things yet, but they will.

It would be a little mea culpa from some people in Australia would be nice. You know, just a little, oh, seven zip in the high court. There is a very high chance that an innocent man is currently in prison. Can we can we just acknowledge that it happened? But there's never any, you know, the COVID vaccine won't say whether or not it's poisoning people. I don't know. Certainly not stopping them getting COVID.

Could someone just come out and say, we exaggerated, we didn't know at the time? Something about being so bought into a narrative that you can't backtrack. So I never got the shot. My folks did. They got all the boosters and they had in Australia. And I would say I would say just gently right, because they almost

thought that this is no shame to my parents because they lived in a country that was brainwashing them, I think. But I said, no, I'm not getting the shot. And neither are my kids. And they talked to us like this was really irresponsible.

Then they kept getting COVID. So I would passive aggressively be like, oh, yeah, well, we're much better off with it than without it. And imagine what would happen if I didn't have to throw my kitchen under the bus. I do the same thing with with things I'm invested in. It's just a psychological reality. When Lisa has the rock that she sells to Homer, do you remember that bit?

When she's like, she goes, it's the fallacy of, you know, there are no I have this rock and there are no beers around. This is a beer stopping rock. And I was like, I wish to buy this rock. I mean, you can't, you can't know what it would have been like had you got it and not had it. Yeah.

I did. I got, I got both. I mean, you can tell in Australia that people were just doing it because the government made them because, uh, how hard was it for you? Oh, I mean, I caved immediately. I was on my better standard. made them because how hard was it for you? Oh, I mean, I caved immediately. I was on my better standard. But I was like, I held out two, three months longer than my friends. And then they said, you won't be allowed to go into pubs anymore. Get it, get it right in there.

But the booster uptake in Australia was very low. So once there wasn't a government going, we're going to take your job away. People went, I don't really care about it. I'm young and I'm healthy. I'm going to be all right. Ah, excuse me. I didn't mean to get into that. I am still just any reckoning, any apology about some of the things people have said would be welcome. I really liked your covid bit because you. Related to the audience and sharing that you got it,

you weren't standing there preaching at them as someone who hadn't yeah And yet in that little bit was a cool way of calling out some of the insanity that went on during that time It's so nutty I mean we do in what film is the tour is the government that's forcing people to do things Standing up against a plucky bunch of rebels ever the good guy. Mm-hmm Just one just one time where the Empire is the good team. This is why, what was that excellent series? Maybe not excellent, but it was a good series. Hunger Games.

Yeah. And that's kind of an example. You've got the elites who are all looking like crazy people and the ordinary people. I can't believe Hollywood made it. Yeah. To this day, when I see people on the, just presenting the federal news, they all look like Hunger Games people. What did that believe Hollywood made it. Yeah. To this day when I see people on the just presenting the federal news they all look like Hunger Games people. What did that say? Hold on. Thursday said the Empire is the good guys and I stand by that. Well they keep going back to the Empire. It didn't

make much sense in the new films. You get rid of the Empire, the Rebel Alliance emerges and then what? The Empire comes back immediately? Seems like there's demand for the Empire. Let me push back against the sex stuff again. All right so I think I'm okay with The talking about the sex stuff. Well, I don't think so I think that I guess I'm open to the idea that swearing is okay among friends. Okay, I'm open to that But I I think there's a obviously there's differences in swearing right like blasphemy is intrinsically evil, right? But then on the on the other end you've got maybe just kind of speaking off the cuff colloquially, whatever. Yeah.

Somewhere in the middle, I though, I think it's like vulgarity about that, which is sacred. So to speak about that, which is sacred in a way that's profane seems to be a bad idea at all times for me. And so I would disagree with you there.

And can I put it in a phraseology you particularly object to that I won't repeat about where one is allowed to. Yep. No need. But let me let me kind of his admission. Yeah, that's right. But let me let me kind of push back against me even though I still think I'm right.

Somebody said in my interview with Shane Smith underneath and if you're that fellow who commented, thank you for this. He pointed to Dante's Inferno, which has some very intense things. Yeah. Like, here you go. Here's one of them. There was, there was one penalty for one group of sinners where you're shoved into the ground and then someone's head is shoved into your asshole. And then someone shed his shoved into his ass.

Human centipede is just stolen. Yeah. And so that's, so there's a sense in which he's getting his point across, but he's using kind of graphic language, I suppose. I mean, can we talk about sex in any sense? Can we talk about sex that's vulgar in a way that you would disagree with? We have to because... No, we don't have to.

Well, I have to. I feel compelled to. It's such a sexualized society. If we were living in a different time where the things that were assaulting people were different, I mean, you could drive past a billboard and an OnlyFans girl has taken that out in the town square. I remember that in Perth. And she's like, here's my DM, here's how to get in contact with me, this is what my body looks like, enjoy gentlemen.

I don't know how many ladies are signing up for that. But you can make fun of that without getting in the sewer with her. I mean I would love to get out of the sewer and I'm doing my best. Oh so you are doing your best. Oh, like on a personal level. I mean, I think we would subscribe to the same things that hurtful. But it sounded like earlier you were trying to justify

how you speak in standup. Yeah, but then it sounds like you're trying to get out of the sewer. So are you contradicting yourself or are you talking about two different things? I mean, I guess I have such a low idea of my ability to make people sexually inflamed. I don't think of myself.

Maybe that's not it. That's not it. That's not what I'm saying. I don't think I'm saying that which is reverent in a crass way. You're degrading that, which is reverent. Yeah, I think there's a chance for that. And I think. I remember I once had big pushback from a a lefty like a pink hair short-haired women who didn't like something that I had said about sex where I was describing the sex act between a man and his wife but she said I find that

disrespectful that you would talk about sex that way but this but I mean they have the veneer of speaking about sex in a nice positive way but actually all the acts that these people are doing are terrible. And so one of the things I like about vulgar language and that which is vulgar is like common and of the people, is you get to, I wouldn't say it's a closer thing to reality, but it sweeps away the pretext and the euphemism. And you actually, I mean like what is masturbating? Because people will talk about masturbating like it can be a beautiful thing and pornography is absolutely fine and things can be tasteful and erotica and you go, I just want to dispense

with that. I want to cut through that quickly, you know? Yeah. Maybe the kind of erotica you're watching is nice and lovely and gentle. It's not the kind that I was being exposed to. Real quick. Um, who was that comedian I shared with you? He has you made it awkward podcast. Ah, yes, I I know.

Can you look that up Thursday? Anyway, homes, peat homes. That's it. OK, so he's got a great bit at the end of his Netflix special. Yeah. And and I don't. He said something like, well, you know, people might be against homosexuality, but they're not against masturbation. But if you're masturbating you're a guy You're giving a handjob to a guy. This is kind of receiving a high job from a guy which makes you double gay

Yeah, like that. I like gay masturbating is is like that So maybe I'm a hypocrite there because I think there's a point being made there But it's not a point that puts images in your mind or degrades a sexual act because you're showing why it's perverted I mean, I'm also Is he going out of shot? I work in as a nightclub comedian and I think the internet is is quite a bad And I want to stop putting clips up as much because it's not helpful Sometimes you put up a reel or something. Yeah, and it's like can I build can someone watch this and can I have a career?

Can I go and club in places? But when people are having a couple of drinks and they're smoking and they're talking and it's a relaxed atmosphere, I think there is a way of speaking that is appropriate to that environment. And that's what I work in as a comedian. Now, whether or not that will exist in a better society or whether we'll have to shut those rooms down, I don't know. And we might have to, we might have to get we might have to get rid of the play houses Cromwell style. I got a follow up. Yeah. And I also want to point out that in this conversation, you have compared yourself to

the hero of the working class, and then compared me to the pink hand lady who's a prudish. I'm just saying there's a lot of stuff going on at all times. But what would be I did think of myself as a hero of the working class. I do too. In your mind, would there be a way to speak about sex in a way that you would find inappropriate from stage? Yes. That's still funny? That would be inappropriate?

Yeah. That you wouldn't do because you're like, no, that's wrong and I wouldn't do that. Like I've got jokes about pornography that I don't say but I've thought of that are funny. Okay. I think funny jokes about pornography and I may say them at some point. Why wouldn't you say them right now? Because I'm so against pornography. Like I just really don't like it. Yeah. But there's also there's a truth to speaking of the struggle But there's also, there's a truth to speaking of the struggle, what pornography does to a person, how it gets in, where it's like, I think that can be helpful to do an account of this is why someone does something.

I mean, just to take masturbating. I remember I once confessed masturbating and the priest, he said something that I didn't think was right. He was like, because you want control or something. He was like, oh, you're doing that because you want to control a woman or something. And I thought, that's not it at all. I want to relieve my anxiety and have a more relaxed afternoon or something. But then the more I think about it, the more it's like, ah, yeah, it is.

I mean, the relief of that anxiety is a kind of disordered control. It's saying I'm going to take literally my pleasure into my hands and, um, or some sort of robot or whatever they're doing out there now. And it's like, if you actually address the deep, dark, weird, psychological things happening towards that, you can combat it a bit. Like you have to address it. I think you have to know what it is that you're up against. And so I would, I like exploring that in my comedy

because I find it very funny. And also that, man, people will go masturbating, and even they'll go to the extent that pornography's bad, but like if it's you and your thoughts, that's okay. How could that possibly be wrong? That doesn't hurt anybody else. And so to explore that, well, why is that wrong? Why is it, why is something that actually doesn't, you know, it's just impacting me here. Why do I have to treat myself with a

certain level of respect? Why do I, you know, I don't have a bit about that at the moment, but there's like, there's a conflict there that I'm trying to unpack. And I don't, I don't have an easy clean way of talking about that. What I'm trying to unpack. And I don't I don't have an easy, clean way of talking about that. What I'm trying to figure out. I also don't want to go dirty while I'm talking about all these. No, please don't. What I'm trying to figure out, make it. I'm trying to figure out, though, is if you think there's a way to speak

about sex that would be immoral from a stage, that's what I'm trying to ask. Oh, yeah. Like when I don't want you to give me examples of it, but I'm trying to figure out if I abortion, right, when people glorify pornography. Yeah. This, I find. to give you examples of it, but I'm trying to figure out. When people glorify abortion, right? When people glorify pornography, this I find, well, it's just like unthought through. I don't think it's fair. Like talk about like it's a good idea? Or more than that. Yeah, like, oh, how wonderful abortion has liberated me

from having to have kids. And you gotta laugh from an audience if you say that. Oh, I see, okay. But it has to come back to what is true. And like really the only light that you can have for writing or thinking or talking to someone or recognizing what is true in the world. And the thing that got me into Catholicism was going,

I think this is true. I'm gonna test this a bunch of different ways. I think this is correct. And so pursuing that, however ugly and strange that is, I mean, it's an ugly and strange fallen world in which we're in. And I think the art should sometimes reflect that. Okay, that's good. And I think Pete Holmes' joke about masturbation might convert more people to not masturbating than say Christopher West, who they've never heard of. So there's a way that you can kind of infiltrate and point out things, not in a kind of sly way.

That's not what I mean. But also I think that's so, I mean, this is a failing with me is that that's beyond my skill. And I should think about it more often because you're a public person doing comedy. But I find it really hard to think about what I'm doing and how that would influence another person's life. I guess that's you're not a preacher. So the point of your comedy. I don't think anyone. I'm a very bad Catholic. Like I'm a great sinner.

I don't think I at this point would be a I aspire to sainthood. I'm doing my best, but I don't think under anyone's scope. If I was hit by a bus today, they'd be going, James McCannon, Pell, these are the big two, like I don't, I don't want people to emulate me in that way, I'm doing my best. But Debussy has that line about,

I don't care if my music makes people think it would be enough to make them listen. Like, I'm trying to be funny. Yeah, and you are very, very funny. Well, that's very kind, and sometimes I fail at that as well, but really that's my sole fixation, is trying to be funny. And if I find it untruthful, I think it would lead people

to do something, to have an impression about something being true, being not true. I mean, that's not fun. That's not, to lead people astray is not good. But also if it's something, if it's something that I would say with my friends, vulgarly in a pub, I do want to share that with everybody. That is the mode that I would like to interact with from the stage. So I know the fella who runs VidAngel and Angel Studios and they have Drybar, right? Yeah. Please God, let's see, maybe he's watching, if I

can get you in touch with him and he asked you to do a dry bar special, would you feel comfortable doing that given the parameters they give you? I don't know what their parameters are, but potentially. No swearing, no sexual jokes, things like that. I think I could do a good 10. Yeah. I think I could do an excellent 10 minutes.

It's so hard for me to generate material. Like, it takes so long to- To this comedy special you did in Austin, was that a new joke? I was doing 10, 15. Was it a new joke? I got a couple of new ones about maybe over that week I managed to get a new minute. Yeah. Like that's right. Yeah. A minute a week is a good, that's a good week.

Yeah. Have you, what, tell us about the time you bombed. What ever, a lot. So just one time,, tell us about the time you bombed. Well, a lot. So just one time I bombed all the time. Tell us about the most epic time you bombed on stage. It was a corporate gig for Cheapest Chips. Okay. Was there Christmas show? This is like a dollar store in Australia.

It's a dollar store. The reject shop would be the equivalent. I don't know, they don't even have that. Yeah, like Dollar Tree. It's a Dollar Tree. And I was be the equivalent. I don't know, they don't even have that. Yeah, like Dollar Tree. It's a Dollar Tree. And I was, it was, the room was so badly set up for comedy. I was behind a lectern. Trying to do comedy behind a lectern is,

I didn't know how bad that would be. And all the lights were on and people were eating their meals. Oh. And man, even a worse one I did earlier this year. I was doing another corporate for a disability company. Uh-oh. And I think I opened with something like Man, I thought there'd be more disabled people working for this company

It was just something they didn't like it. They don't have a casino night. I was interrupting them playing Blackjack and then I'm like in a dark corner with a tinny microphone trying to shout about the price of breaded people And now there's a lot of bad gear. I took the money and I ran. How long was that gig for you? It was meant to be 20. I think I gave them 13. I was out. Pronto. No, there's a lot of bad gigs. Oh, there's a lot of bad gigs. And how do you handle that? Psychologically, what does it do to you? I walk the streets and I look at walls. It's a really bad time. No, after doing badly on, I mean,

you've just tried to make people happy and you've failed and they've all looked at you. And maybe one or two people had a nice time. You don't wanna talk to them. You just wanna go and be alone. I'm shocked that people who are, some people who are really bad at comedy keep going. I can't imagine if I bombed more than once every now and then. Also, you can time the bombing

because you know where the bad gigs is likely to be and where the new material is going to be at and it's the fortitude you have. Am I ready to have a bad day? I'll do the new five minutes. Yeah. Because it's going to ruin the day and I'm going to come home and it's going to wreck every... I'm not going to be able to be kind to my children. I'm going to sit alone. It's very, it's a, do you have someone you call to process that? I have a number of comedians on the phone. But we talk about, it must be helpful. Yes. I am not a comedian. I wouldn't be good as a standup, but I gave a talk in Sydney recently with Jason Everett. So Jason gets up first. There's like a thousand people in

the stands are all teenagers and he crushes it because he's one of the best presenters ever. And then I have to get up and give my talk. And it was awkward. The people were far back, there was a big space in the middle. As I started, some teenagers were kind of messing around, the teacher was dealing with them. Get on the phone to Scott Hahn immediately. Scott, what do you do?

He's like, I've never bombed. I had to give a 45- I possibly believe that. I had to give a 45-minute I had to give a 45 minute talk. I think it was over in 20 minutes because it was terrible. Yeah. The sweat on the back. And it was the kind of terrible that when people go, I wasn't that bad. You like, shut up. I'm telling you, don't lie to me.

It was the worst. If you lie to me now, I will never trust you. You say I did well. It was awful. I mean, at least with a talk, there's a wiggle room where you can go. Some people may have felt one way about this. Some people may have felt the other. When people do poetry, I'm always, or like music, you know, it's like, here's my art. I'm presenting it to the world. And if you don't like it, well, that's maybe that's on you. Yes, yes. But when you're really talking to people and you're trying to get everyone to laugh at the same time or something, or trying to convey a point to them. You can tell when it's not landing and it's always your fault. If you're presenting a

talk or doing a comedy thing, it's not that they didn't connect with you. Your job was to connect with them and you failed. Oh, excuse me. This is a hard place to be at on a cold Steubenville morning. Taking back to my darkest moment. What do you, well moving away from you then, what do you see standup comics do that you're like, that's a bad idea? Or you see new standup comics, you You're like, ah, this is how they this is what they shouldn't be doing Men and women do it really differently when they start out men women almost always over prepare Okay, and then it's like a version that they've Read in the mirror. So there's no

Given the joints kind of thing. That's very scripted And it feels offensive to the audience because you're disrespecting them by not being present with them and just going through as though everything is going well. And then they, they start to lose confidence, but they keep delivering it in a confident way and their eyes start to panic and you go, oh, this is, this is very bad. Men will start out and they'll maybe vibe with the audience more, but they, they haven't put in the work. They haven't prepared anything. And it's just,

you're just, uh, messing around and that too is disrespectful. And so I think eventually both they synthesize women get looser and men get more prepared. There's also men who do the effeminate thing of preparing too much and like repeating their lines in the shower or something. Cause the way you want to just be, yeah, we want to be there. It's like a good, you tell me, is it like a good conversation? Like if I had scripted my conversation with you and we sat down and I had to get through a list of things. Yeah. Did you see the Cat Williams interview recently with Shannon Sharp?

It's a, I don't know who either of those people are. It's a big interview that's blown up, but Cat Williams is saying insane, like really weird that he's going like, this guy's Illuminati. I read 3000 books as a child every year. I was accepted into the university at 12. And you go, none of this is, it can't be true. And the guy's just like going through his questions and going to the next one for four hours.

And you go, are you listening to the things that this man is? Are you gonna challenge that he just said as a child, he read 3000 books a year? No one can read 3000, you can't read 100 books a day. Yeah, get your calculator out, divide that. How many? Just do a little math. Thursday, how many books if 3,000 divided by 325? Very close to 100 a day. I'm going to say 87. Yeah, I'm going to say 86. 8.2? 8.2. 82. I was close.

I'm gonna say 86, 8.2? 8.2, I was close. But also, I mean, it's hard to be present, right? Like it's one of the most difficult things. Yeah, or this is hard. Yeah, I don't know how you do long podcasts. I keep my podcast to 30 minutes because I am tired at the end of it. But you do what?

Three hour conversations with people and you're trying to stay present. I love it. How do you, I mean, how do you keep listening the whole time? What do you, by actually being interested? Yeah. Yeah. Well you also picking good people to being excellent people today. You can pick people you want to talk to. But if you had to talk to someone who was being chosen, you know,

here's what I would find difficult. If I had someone come on and they wanted to speak about a narrow topic, like here's what I'm here to talk about. Yeah. Very narrow. Like even, you know, and then I had to kind of stick to that and how, even though I wanted to go in different directions or I got bored, it's kind of one of the nice things about this is, you know, we've talked about all sorts of things and we just keep going like a conversation. Conversations aren't tiring, but if you have a conversation with somebody who's not interested in you, you stop having a conversation with them. And I really,

yeah, I am interested in you and I love these people that come and sit here. I'm genuinely interested in them. That's what I thought. Thanks man. I love it. Who did? I mean, I think the best person to interview would be Kanye because he's the most present attentive person. I don't know where he's at.

I don't know where Kanye's at. He's now dating an Australian woman who I know. So I now know Kanye's wife by one degree. And I think that counts as his wife, because I'm pretty sure that was not a valid marriage to Kim Kardashian. Cause she was divorced four times. I think you'd need a, there's a lot of paperwork to figure out whether or not he's currently valid be married, but he's married to an Aussie.

He's married to an Aussie. Really? And he tried to visit. Apparently he tried to visit her family in Australia and we won't let him in now. Unpleasantness. Kanye has appeared to fallen away from the faith. Yes. Has he? That's a shame because that,

that album about Christ was so moving to me and so excellently done. I think they're all about Christ. I mean, Jesus is King is the big. Yeah, that's what I meant. He's a good example of someone who's like, he's really, the album before that, The Life of Pablo, where he's, I don't know, he's really thinking about, it's on the front cover, it's The Life of Pablo and then it's which one? It's like Pablo Escobar and St. Peter. And like, who, who is he being?

Who is he aspiring towards? And he got really, he got angry that people didn't help him be a good Christian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yay was before Jesus. Yay. people didn't help him be a good Christian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah get yourself to believe that all pleasure is true. Yeah. Do you know like- Hedonism, is that what you mean? Hedonism, yeah. I mean, cause hedonism is, it's at least real.

Yeah. It's that great Chesterden poem about if I was a pagan, all the things I would do, I'd be, you know, pillaging my way across Europe and having a wonderful time. And yet you, you people who are not Christian, what, you're just going to sit and read a book quietly in the evening? What are you doing? That reminds me of a talk some Peter Crafter has this story about a fellow who is from Russia. He got up and he, it was like an address to college students and he said, you Americans are boring.

He says we Russians are wicked, but we're interesting. Yeah. And I often think of that when we, even our sins are boring. You know, like I want to masturbate. You love this. You love that. Is it Shane with the tattoos? He's doing a bit on that.

If I had been a heathen, I'd have praised the purple vine. My slaves should dig the vineyards and I would drink the wine. But Higgins is a heathen and his slaves grow lean and gray that he may drink some tepid milk exactly twice a day If I had been a heathen how long is this poem? Keep going I'd have crowned Nayedra's curls and filled my life with love affairs my house with dancing girls

But Higgins is a heathen and to lecture rooms is forced where his aunts who are not married demand to be divorced Scroll down! If I had been a heathen, I'd have sent my armies forth, and dragged behind my chariots the chieftains of the north, but Higgins is a heathen, and he drives the dreary quill to lend the poor that funny cash that makes them poorer still. If I had been a heathen, I'd have piled my pyre on high, and in a great red whirlwind gone roaring to the sky But Higgins is a heathen and a richer man than I and they put him in an oven just as if he were a pie

He's he's done a lot better on this Now who that runs can read it the riddle that I write of why this poor old sinner should sin without delight But I I cannot read it although I run and run of them that do not have the faith and will not have the fun. Isn't it lovely? It's like that Monty Python bit where the Protestant comes home to his quiet wife and he goes, the Catholic cannot, you know, have sex with you. I could, I could have sex in all sorts of interesting ways. And his wife goes, will you do it? And he goes, not really, not really interested. It's a good point.

Did you, did you, did you, I know you said that you were conservative, at least economically prior to your conversion, did you have a change in regards to sexual morality or since you were already a nominal Protestant, maybe you held to some of those things. Well, I was, I was fairly sure that the things I was doing were wrong in some way. It's hard to convince yourself it's not, isn't it? I was agnostic until I was 17 and I knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong because I remember after hooking up with a girl at some party, I would find myself trying to justify it in my sleeping bag, you know, half drunk. You know, like, don't tell me that's fine. That's fine.

I didn't hurt her. It's fine. But no one has ever said that at a soup kitchen, feeding the poor. Don't be telling me I'm not bloody hurting anybody. Yeah. You don't say that when you know that what you're doing is right. I mean Anscombe has a line about sex where I think she's like walking through a forest and picking up a mushroom and eating it. Sex is never like that. Like sex is always weird and complicated and you don't really, you can say that it's not, it's just a mechanical, you know, a very friendly handshake. But I think if you pay any attention to that.

No, it's insane. I remember hearing a woman say, Oh, what's the problem? It's just like a massage. But then there's so many follow ups to that. They would insult her. Not the ones that I was having. Yeah. You know, like, well, what if somebody massaged you or your daughter?

And it's a very specific kind of massage that this person is describing. It's insane. It's insane. massaged you or your daughter and without very specific kind of massage that this person is describing. It's insane. It's insane. I am loving that they're in America. Man, Australia is so full of handjob parlours. Are you serious? Every every block, every street corner, I think because we've got a lot of people from

Asia. How do they sell themselves? It's like massage with a blocked out thing and a big flashing open light. But it's every, like it's everywhere. And it's just not an American thing. And no one in Australia will really, I mean, it's like- Maybe it is, I don't know. No, I mean, it's like in terms of public facing

street frontage, you go, it's not, I'm, you know, I'm not, cause I mean, having to walk past a sexual massage par you know, it's you know I thought scone the mind it's difficult. It's an act of the will to walk through the street It's just so nice to have a family friendly and I say this doing very dirty comedy all the time that I'm sure you make a good point about but It's just it's so nice to think you can get you can get rid of of that, you know, which is not to say that stupid villas without prostitutes. Yeah.

Although in the cold, I'm not seeing anybody. The snow is full on. When I first moved here, I thought I encountered a prostitute, but I didn't, apparently. So I'm walking out the front doors and this questionable looking woman came up to me. And rather than me engaging her in a lovely Christian conversation, I went, no, he's running away. I went no and walked away. I think she was a professor at student at Franciscan. I had the opposite experience to this. I was in King's cross and I'm just a very normal looking woman in

like a tracksuit. Yeah. How he wasn't even trying. And I was like, I'm doing really well. Thank you so much. How are you doing? She said, would you like sex? Would you, uh, would you like? I think she was like a hero. And I was like, ah, I mean, not right now. I'm going home. Have you heard Carl Barron's bit about that? No. No, thanks. I'm feeling good today. Right. Because it's when a man is low that he's looking, it's not like, ah,

I'm feeling good today. So that's not necessary. If he was having a bad day, maybe the answer is different. I've never met Carl Barron and almost no one in Australian comedy has met him. What do people say about him in the comedy scene in Australia? He's great, but where is he? He just does his theater shows.

Do you think he was like that when he began, but he's so big now that he doesn't need to hobnob? Even older people who've been in the comedy scene for a long time. He seems like a massive introvert. Doesn't he? Yeah. I mean, that's the dream, right?

You just, you show up, you do your theater gig. You're good enough. You go home, you read your poetry. He's very funny. You know who else is very funny? It's Jemowen. Jemowen's great. But see, see with Jemowen, I legitimately find him hilarious when he's not being

sexual because he has such a beautiful, charming demeanor that when he gets sexual, it feels gross to me. Because he's like my charming, innocent brother. And then when he starts getting dirty, I'm like, I really don't think that's good for you. Well, it may not be good in people's personal lives and things reflect out, but I haven't thought about it. Is he still going? He's still going. Like when it came out that Louis was masturbating in front of people.

I mean, this shouldn't have come as a huge shock to when it came out that Louis was masturbating in front of people. Yeah. I mean, this shouldn't have come as a huge shock to anyone, I think, who was following his work. Right. Like he was feeling transparent about who he was and where he was at. And people tried to, he was, but he also, I mean, he's a chronic masturbator. Is he? Oh, but he talks about it all the time in his work.

But then he also talks about being a loving father and that's true as well. And so there's like some- Yeah, veil. He was a complicated person representing that on stage. But this is why it's also nice to have a. I think somebody's complicated, not just say shameful. Like that's it's not like he's complicated. That makes him interesting.

He's going to be way more interesting if he cut out the masturbating. Yeah, man, it'd be interesting because I love your point earlier about the pre saying you try to control. And I do think that is I think the reason people engage in sexual sins is very broadly because it's soothing and we seek to soothe our emotional turbulence, which is why you're having a good day. You know, you're right. And so there's a way to regulate that doesn't involve mortal sin.

Hit that up. Well, yeah, there is. And it's I went to the I went to the holy hour last night and, uh, I can't tell you how I was, I was still pretty angry when my baby kicked me in the chest at four in the morning, but. When did you go to holy hour? Eight. So before the incident with the chest kicking right there. But I think I, I, I was in a much better mood for having been to the holy hour, but that like,

a much better mood for having been to the holy hour. But that like, you can get it up. It's not like it's not the immediate gratification, but there is, I mean, there are, I don't want to, I don't want to go, I keep wanting to say dirty things, but I mean, here are two different ways that a man who's feeling terrible can get on his knees and try and do something to save himself. And the prayer, prayer doesn't always make you feel good immediately. I mean you can just have, I had a terrible first 40 minutes of just sitting in the cold at the huggy hour. Compare it to eating healthy and exercising. Like the donut feels a lot better but then you feel awful afterwards.

And I did in the well I still feel pretty good having a little Debbie's donut. I said 40 minutes afterwards. It's so good. Yeah we'll see how it kicks in later. Yeah I mean I want to tell people about what prayer has done for me. What has prayer done for you? What? I mean, just immediately last night, I was much happier. I walked into that holy hour, angry and wet and cold. And I was going to the Speedway to buy a Stella Retoire,

because I've had a gut full of these just nothing American beers. And I walked out of there happy, uplifted, pleased to have my Stella Retoire a little later on, but like, also to have that respected by my wife that I'm going off to just have an hour away. And it's a good thing to do for our marriage to spend their time. I mean, it's very, if you've got young children and you go, honey, I need an hour away. And it's a good thing to do for our marriage, to spend their time. I mean, it's very, if you've got young children

and you go, honey, I need to go away, that's sort of, it's a betrayal in some sense. You're saying, I'm gonna force you to- I'm gonna leave you with these kids. You're at the coalface, you're having a hard time. But man, I would, I'm gonna try and take the kids today and send her for a holiday, to do a holiday every day. Fulton Sheen, I read his autobiography,

and he writes about how that was like the most transformative thing in his life. I like to think, I pridefully think of the virtues that I might be able to unlock if I spend more time at prayer. And not just like, he's just like real dedicated, solitary. It's so nice. It's so good that they have 24 hour, 24 hour adoration. It's ah, yeah, we don't have 24 hour adoration in Adelaide. It's quite rare to find it. I would think that if your SS sorry, FSSP Paris started it, that you would fill that up. I think we're probably at a point where we could do it and they do they run a lot of

like 40 hours throughout the year. But also then I'm like such a selfish person. I, I almost never helped her. You know, I've never volunteered to be the person there helping with it. And it's, it's always these lovely boomers who, you know, put in the time together. Yeah. Well, what's nice about where you're living now is just a quick walk. That's a lot easier to get into a car and drive.

12 degrees Celsius is it, it, it, it does creep in the cold does. Is this the first time you've seen snow? Yes. Yeah. Well I saw a little bit in New Zealand once, but proper snow. This is the first. What was that like? It was magical for a moment. And then my father took my son out and they were away for seven minutes. And I was like, is my son getting hypothermia? We don't have the proper gloves because we've been.

Yeah. I'm getting a car today, but we've been carless in. Oh, you are getting a car. I am. I found a Toyota Camry that I'm going to try and buy. I think I can afford. It's going to fit everybody in it. Man, I, I didn't think I could get a social security number before I came to America. It's like, you have to be here and go to the office was my understanding.

You can't open a bank account without that. I can't cash checks from gigs to put into a bank account without that. It takes two weeks for the social security number to come through. So just like in the least walkable place in the world, I can get to the speedway to buy booze and petrol. Don't need the petrol.

And I can get to the church and that's it. That's within walking distance. And I feel like I'm asking everyone for help. I'm like trying to, I'm borrowing people's cars. But we love it. We love it. But people are being extremely good about it, but it is so hard to be in that position of a child of like.

Yeah, but we've all, I mean, I really say this in full tru. Honestly, we've all been there. When I moved to Steubenville, Jakey B. Mom was doing finishing who just showed up earlier for those watching. He was still doing his doctorate in Oxford and he had to go for three months. And he said, please have a house. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Yeah. Well, obviously we'll pay you rent.

It's like, I refuse to let you pay me rent. And I mean, I keep feeling that it's got to run out. This is the other thing. Like I have to get better at it. And I love it when people do it for me and they let me help them and give them lifts when I have a car. I think very often people prefer giving charity than receiving it. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, I hope to be getting better at receiving charity, but it is, I often say, if I, if I offer somebody a gift and they seem reluctant to take it, I'll say if you can't take this you'll never be able to receive Christ's death on the cross. Well I'm telling myself to say that but then at some point you're also like I mean I'm living next to Mark and his wife and they also need their car for some things and also like oh some of the

things I also I don't I'm getting better at driving on the correct American side of the road, but I'm aware that I'm a risk. Yeah. And so I'm asking people to entrust me with that. And like every time someone is going out driving with me, you know, in order to get me naturalized to their roads, for me, it's quite a small thing. I'm getting better at driving for them.

It's like potentially their livelihood is their car. And I'm aware that I keep asking for this big, strange thing. It is, man, it'd be nice to have some public transport in Steubenville. Yeah public transport is great. I Used to hate it. I read the bus all the time But in America you will get beheaded oh I've had a couple of dark nights of the soul. I remember yesterday before the holy hour I was just lying in bed going, kill me God. Like there was an intrusive, I was just lying there going,

just if I can go to heaven now, just take me out, kill me now. And then later on I came back from the holy hour and I thought, please don't kill me. Please let me be alive for my family. But it's like, it's living on the, the immigrant experience is full on. We should also point out to people who don't know,

you moved here like a week ago. Yes. Moving is actually I really think it's traumatic. Hmm. I yes and coming into a new place is has its own difficulties coming to a new place in the middle of winter. Like there are so many things you're going through. I felt the same way when I when I moved to Steubenville.

I actually think I hit a big depression for a long time. I was not. I was in a bad place. Yeah, my wife and I look at photos of the two long time. I was not, I was in a bad place. Yeah. My wife and I look at photos of the two of us just several months before we moved and we aged terribly. There was so much stress that hit us. I had a, I tried to get into a bar in Austin and I didn't have an ID and the woman said,

have you got any grays? And I did it and I was like, yeah, I got a big chunk. Cause the last getting through the US immigration system is It's not they keep saying they want people to come here legally They do nothing to make it easy for people to come here legally But that obviously what they want is you to walk across the border and that's it. Yeah, which I thought about a couple times Mm-hmm. Yeah flight under Mexico just oh, I'll trudge down from Canada. I'll have to go there I'll go the upper class way the lady da-di-da way to illegally immigrate. Man. To be through it is lovely.

When I got that visa and the passport, I was, which was also weird. Like I, it's so like high and official the whole time. Right. And you've so many forms to fill out. And if you make a mistake, you feel like your life is over and you've got to fill out all these forms for your kids I've got to say you've got to declare that your children have never committed a genocide or plan to and you and also they're like The truck every person doing this must sign it. Yeah, and you go. Okay, but he's one So like my son is here on a visa how? Obviously, he's not going to sign it. I'm going to be clicking it.

And then you're afraid. If I admit to that, am I going to kick me out of the country when I admit that he's not a communist and has never been a part of the communist party? Yeah. Man. But, but then when I actually got the visa, I got a phone call from people going, can you drive out to this suburban house to pick it up? And I just drove out and there was this Chinese lady out and her dad is walking around the front yard

She's like, yeah, the visas are in the back. You know how How are we running it? Like there's no consistency. It's it's almost like America's a different country Very similar very similar It's I don't know about you but I'm one of these folks who I find it difficult to see the forest from the tree in front of me. Yeah. So if I'm having a bad day or if my wife and I are at each other a little bit in my mind, somehow that's what it's like forever. And I don't have the foresight to realize, OK, this is just a season and things will be better. How are you with that? Getting better.

My wife is very patient. And what she has done is much stranger than what I have done. How so? Well, she's, we, you know, in Australia, we had a house, we had, we'd moved next to our neighbor, which I thought was a terrible idea at the time. She thought it was a good idea. My neighbor, Paul, who was reading new polity and was a big student. That's how I found out Steubenville existed. He said, you should move into the house next to our house, which is two blocks from the Latin Mass parish. And I thought this is going to be like a sitcom and we're going to be at each other's throats and there's going to be all this talk. And it was the best two years of my life was living in this, you know, they've got kids running

around, we've got kids the same age and it's like, oh, this is a foretaste of heaven. This is like what community is meant to be like. Everybody should live in a walkable way to the people they love. And so we had that and then she's given that up so that we can come here and I can do comedy in America. But, uh, man, I really, I mean, she's difficult for her or is she excited about the adventure at some level? I mean both, but it for her or is she excited about the adventure at some level? I mean both, but it's, they're getting, people have been very inspired in our parish by the

Steubenville project. Australia. Yeah. I mean, people starting up a school. My friend Paul started a bar so that people could, is that the one I went to? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And Mellie's beautiful bar. People started up a magazine because at some point there's just like so many power I was shocked. I showed them a magazine look. I pretty sure that's Margot Holbert. Yeah, please shout them out It's an agony magazine. Can they get it online somewhere? They can get it online. She's doing it It's just like you know the URL it's excellent agony space magazine Sometimes people give you something they did and you're like, yeah, this is fine. Thank you But this was beautiful. Doing it.

And then when I got to walk around the new poly office and I had felt guilty for being embarrassed to like, I didn't send out a copy. I could have been like, you've inspired us to make this magazine and try and build a town. Well, you had a lot going on. But they had it like I got there and they had already found out about it. And they were like, like, we like this one a lot. We like this one. You go, man, And they'd already found out about it and they were like like we like this one a lot. We like this one. It's you go man

The fruits of community are real and beautiful They make life like so many of the things that we think are having children is just hard A lot of that is that we build a society that makes it unnecessarily hard and the fact that we don't I don't I've got one brother My wife has a half brother who lives overseas My wife has a half brother who lives overseas. You've got to have, once you are in the second, third generation of big families and aunties can be there, like the power that an auntie can have in raising a family.

A lot of the, when people are going, I'm burning out, I'm not sleeping. Really you're suffering from not having a sister who's there who can help you, I think. So, I mean, but then in the community, we've got that. Oh. who can help you, I think. So, I mean, but then in the community, we've got that. Well, this, I mean, my sister's moving here in May with her husband. They've already bought a house. I'm so excited about that.

And this is why I don't like when people disparage Catholic communities by calling them bubbles, because by bubble, they just mean to live among friends in a community, which is just how humans have lived throughout all civilization yeah so you should absolutely find a bubble and by bubble I don't mean insular cult like where you don't go out and find 150 people you all know each other that's where we are and when you're in trouble I can help you when they're in trouble you can help them I know you've only been here a week but what is your impression of

Steubenville having moved here oh when you get into the downtown it's magical once crossing from the church. Oh, I'm out of the camera. I apologize. Yeah, because you've got the cigar bar and then that lovely bookstore and then the bar. And it's like I more things are open. I was just what I Thursday I saw.

I saw you. And then randomly, I saw Mark working at his grocery store. Yeah. And then like I walk across the road to the new polity thing. And I took all those people. And then when I saw Jacob for the first time, uh, he's just a beam of sunshine. He'd keep anyone going. Yeah. If they absolutely. And it, it's like, I'd love Adelaide. It's a big town. It's very expensive and it's quite hard to form a little Catholic ghetto.

It's not easy financially. But yeah, I love it. I love that. Well, I tell you, I've been waiting for an Australian to move here because I am not the kind of fellow who can wake up at two in the morning to watch a Crows match. I'll do it. But I would love to do it with you. This is our year, baby.

Yeah. You and my sister. Wouldn't that be great if we get together? Is she a big Crows person? She's big enough. It'd be nice and nostalgic at the least, you know. It's such a... I'm really trying to understand the sport here. Are you? Big shit crows person. If she was big enough, it'd be nice and nostalgic at the least, you know. It's such a I'm really trying to understand the sport here.

I've been following the Steelers all year, just because I thought that would be like a good Yeah, kind of immersion. It's an insight into the culture. Talk about with folks. Yeah. And I think it does give the insight into like what. What the character of a people is, is what the what the sport gives them. Like American football is all about the it's the American dream, right? It's like, you've got to try for something difficult and get it right.

And that's wonderful. But like the more difficult it is, the more yardage you'll gain, right? But if you stuff it up, there's very limited respect. It's not like, oh, you tried and failed. It's like, you tried and you turned it over. This is the end, Australian football. You just turn it over,

the ball turns over six times in a minute. And it's a weird scramble, which is, I think we're a more laid back, we don't really care about achievement and the, you know, we're much more interested in having a good time and someone doing something impressive. So I heard that Aussie rules football, which came from Gaelic football for those unaware. And if you haven't heard of Aussie rules football, you need to look it up. It's an absolutely magical game. I think the whole, the whole world will come to understand that it's better than

their sports. And anyway, my understanding was they developed this fight and talk to keep cricket players fit in the winter. Yes. So it's on an oval. Yeah. Uh, like cricket, unlike Gaelic football, which is on a soccer field. So what was funny is when I moved here, I realized that I just referred to large patches of green. None of them are ovals. So I walked home with my then girlfriend Cameron and we walked past the school and I went, there's some bloody bloke on the oval over there.

She went, what? When he ovals. That's when I realised that. Also, isn't it important to have cricket as like sort of the holy game with a big hinterland, the like respectable, thoughtful game. You have to have that. So football can be trivial because sport is meant to be trivial. But like no one who loves cricket and football, cricket is the thing that they live for. And football is the enjoyable thing that helps the winter pass.

But that's the spirit in which football should be enjoyed. I'm hearing that Aussie rules is far exceeding cricket as far as what they're bringing in every year, just financially, right? Sure, financially. But there's something in the soul of cricket. I hope that's true. Cricket does something to the soul. Yeah. There's a great line of cricket that's like the English being a race of people who had no conception of eternity had to invent cricket to get some England pause.

Man, I'm missing football. Why? America has not managed to really export any of their sports. That's a good point. Basketball a little bit. Baseball? Baseball to like Japan, Canada, Cuba. That's a really good point. Same thing, probably children's... I mean, cricket's different, right? I mean, because they colonized the world and brought their sports with them. America's doing a pretty good job of colonizing the world. We all know who Taylor Swift is. We all drink Pepsi.

But no one, not even Canada, will one for one take the American football rules. We've got to do it a little bit different to the American way. It's incredible that no one wants NFL No one wants gridiron football. Maybe because it's so expensive to kill the things and if I was huge in Germany I guarantee you the NFL is not huge in Germany is not about to have an expansion team Thursday, there are some some people there who are trying. And you do meet people who like these sports internationally, but it's not like I refuse to believe it. Yeah.

There's if Germany gets a professional level NFL team, I will probably I will ritually humiliate myself on television. What American sport do you think you're most likely to end up enjoying? Oh, football. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because for me it would be basketball. I love how quick it is and fancy and colorful it is. I like, yeah, I find that to be in a shell seems cool. My dad loves basketball and he was really good at it.

Well, see, it's maybe too many members of basketball would be an example of something being exported across the world. It is. I mean, but we still don't have it on mainstream telly do we? There's something about basketball that's inaccessible to all but very few people in America's physique and the occasional enormous Slavic man. But you know I see Chinese people loving basketball and playing and you go you never got to be great. You're five foot six. The three-pointer can only come up. Yeah all right they managed to fill one stadium of football. It's re I'm telling you.

Have you seen the German feelings on soccer? They like it more. Thursday. So maybe it's the England's been able to export the games. Soccer would be another example. Those countries don't like, I mean, the post colonial feeling in Pakistan is I don't think especially warm to England, but they love cricket. They're nutty for cricket. Something about cricket is more immediate. Maybe you don't need as much stuff. Maybe soccer is

better for the favela where you just have a bunch of rags and no shoes. But basketball was like that too. It's very cheap to play. It is cheap to play. You just have to be so tall to be good at. Something about watching a game that neither I nor anyone related to me would ever be able to compete in professionally makes it sad. But I watch American football. It's like all body types accounted for. I could have played football. Not well, not for very long, but it's like, there's a world in which this body if it had had a different life could have played that game.

Now when I was a kid I remember we would trade NBA basketball cards. How, how's that about colonization? These big In the 90s, it was huge. What about you? Was it Pokemon probably? Yu-Gi-Oh was coming up. I mean, basketball does have like a... It does have a following. People like basketball. But it's not... You could never say that basketball in Australia was the national sport. If we got into a final at the Olympics, people would be pretty chuffed.

Well, there was a time, I remember, in the Olympics where they played the Dream Team, the Aussies. And I think they did really, really well. I don't think they beat them. I don't believe that the Americans were sending their best. I don't believe Magic Johnson was up there. Pretty sure Jordan, Ewing and Pippen. And we did okay. And Barclay, yeah, I believe so. That's beautiful. We have a couple of players who are here and doing well.

So what is your game plan now that you're you've moved to Steubenville? Yeah. Why are you here and what's your plan? I'm going to get a car. Step one. I'm opening for a man, a lovely man called Sam talent in Columbus. I'm going to get the car. I'm going to drive to Columbus. I'm going to do five minutes for him. I'm going to drive back to Steubenville.

Maybe do that the next day. I might ask my wife if I'm allowed to stay there overnight once or twice. I'm gonna try and open for these other Americans. But I started a podcast a couple of years ago, and every time I do something in America, I get a bigger American audience. And I think once I have 50 people listening,

at the moment there's a lot of people, but they're all spread out. I would just like to go into comedy in America. I'm loving it. So you can just drive two hours and there's people, there's like four million people, they're ready to come and see something. Is there a standup comedy bar in Pittsburgh? I'm sure there is. Do they do open mic?

They've got an improv. I'm going to go down there and try and get in there. I'd love to come with you. One of these days, please, please, please. That'd be so fun. Yeah. I want to do the improv to get back into that Joe Rogan club. I can't express how good it is. You've been invited back. They said, well, invite's a strong word. They said when I was back, I could do spots. So I mean, a lot of it is. So what was Egan like? I presume you met him. Oh, Adam

Egan was. Egan, sorry. He's the man he was on the on the show. It's like, because he's not a comedian. Did he run the bar? He runs the gigs, he decides who's on, and he used to run a big gig in Los Angeles. And they brought him over there because he was so good at it. But he was really, he was just the guy doing that job at an old McDonald's friend.

Because I think you're not meant to be, you know, he's not a celebrity. You're not meant to be, you said to the left, you said to the right. He's not a celebrity. So I think you're not meant to be starstruck by him, but I was more starstruck by meeting Adam Egott than anyone I've met. Because no, I mean, we've spoken about Norm MacDonald and how incredibly great, just to be in the orbit of Norm MacDonald is unbelievable. So do you suspect that Joe Rogan will do his new specials at that place?

I think so. Is he performing there often? He kicks out all the time. Does he? And he's got great people doing gigs there. He's got like a really exciting, Austin has become a hub for comedy, uh, which is nice cause you don't have to live in LA. LA seems to be not good. Is that, that's something one could say, the homelessness,

I mean the homelessness in Austin was also through the roof, but like having, just being that size and having to drive for 45 minutes and the cost of living. What are the top maybe three to five clubs you would be honored to perform at? Oh, that one. The mothership again. Cause I don't know any of these.

The comedy cellar, the stand. And where are these? These are in LA? These are in New York. New York still has a thriving comedy studio. Oh, it's. Have you been to New York of late? New York City. Let me say a word about New York City. Yeah. When I went to New York City, now things I think have changed since COVID, but it felt like I had finally found a city that could keep up with me. Yeah. And then when I left,

it felt like everything was in point two, you know, the speed on the on the podcast went down. I'm like, why is everything so slow? Yeah, I can see it's very addictive. The energy there. It's. It's a real city, right? Like it has its own weird character.

I'm told people talk this way about what's the one in Louisiana? Baton Rouge, got covered by water. New Orleans, New Orleans Baton Rouge or New Orleans? Got covered by water. New Orleans. People go to New Orleans. America has three cities. New Orleans, New York, and everything else is Cleveland. I think it's the old joke, but also I'm thrilled to see Cleveland.

But, oh, I'm still excited. I came in very hot and very excited and like, I want to eat Cincinnati chili. I want to eat Cincinnati chili. I want to go to the Indianapolis Children's Museum, just on Wikipedia every day, looking at all these incredible things you could do. And then my dad's come and he's living with us and his enthusiasm has dwarfed my, he's like, look at the streets, big holes in it. Isn't that interesting?

He's, he's very enthusiastic. He's never been to America before. What's your thoughts on the kind of gun culture we have in America and what's your yeah about it? I don't understand it All right Thursday you gotta quit with the Thursday you can come on my podcast later and we'll talk about all the things to see in America the I Don't know. I mean, I think we spoke about this last time I was on where it's like I I like many of the fruits of America having a gun culture. I like that they didn't try to lock the country down because they thought they couldn't do it. You know, because everyone's

packing heat and you can just do whatever you want to the citizenry of Australia because they're going to take up their umbrellas against you or something. But man, also the it's shocking, isn't it? It's a, It's bizarre. Even if you were old down with the second amendment, I love it, big fan, still it's shocking as an Australian to come here and see it being sold in Walmart. I have seen people, I won't say who, packing heat in a Walmart and you go, there's no way that that should be... You go pick up a shotgun and a cart in the middle. With the safety off

There's no way people should be doing that I like the like the Romans had a system where people could be armed but you would give your weapons in when you came to the city lemon and That seems very reasonable to me that you would have everyone's allowed to have a gun But you when you're in a public space, you're not to have a weapon I think that is a nice happy medium medium where you can just, but even then I, I don't want to say I won't have a gun because then people will know that I won't have a gun and it's good to break into James' house. I don't have the best gun.

Imagine. I mean, I was literally lying on my bed yesterday going, I wish God would kill me. I don't want a gun in the house. No, this is, I mean, it went away. It's great. But like, I think anyone predisposed to despair maybe shouldn't have a really quick way of committing suicide on hand.

I like to think I have to walk all the way down to the train tracks. Let's have a little buffer between, let's have, I get to meet Jacob Imam while I'm going for a walk. It pulls me out of, He took me off the lens. He can give me a little donut and give me a beer.

Yeah. Oh man. So I don't understand the gun thing, but I know people are very passionate about it here. I wonder how much to have my own thoughts about, I mean, this is a different country. I don't get to, you get to vote here now. So you get to have a say, but I find the politics to be totally over my head. Yeah. Do you, when do you think, are you, have you set yourself a time by the end of which you will decide

whether you would like to continue living in America or go home or you just take it as it comes? Yeah. Yeah. It's a three year visa. So that unless I do something real bad, they can't. That is terrific. I know it's three years.

It's a three year visa. I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to provide for the family and I've got to be I don't know, it's a three year visa. I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to provide for the family and I've got to be doing standup and that might involve living in a city that has standup. I want to do something for Steubenville while we're here. My wife was rich. She said yesterday, I don't know how long we're going to be in Steubenville for

what can we do to help? Cause it's a beautiful place and we've been invited in. Yeah. She's a good woman. She's a really good woman and she really uh, it really means it So it's like I don't know what we can offer and bring I mean I'd like to just go out and get because they've had a big run on the secondhand bookstore and I love buying books I would like to take a thousand dollars and go into Pittsburgh and go into like estate sales and just buy

books and bring them back and be like, you know, cuz So many people read here and there is one bookstore in the downtown. Yeah. Here's, I can give you this big catalog of things to take. I had to get rid of so many books in Adelaide. It was, uh, that was brutal. That was my hard thing too. I shipped about three boxes over, but it was hard.

I had all these plans of like, I'm going to sort the books and have the ones I want and the ones I'm looking at. And then it's like two days before we have to leave and I'm looking at a copy of German lyric poetry going. I don't Speak like how but I need it. I don't want to get rid of it This was like a book of good energy cuz there an additional cigarette that I could perhaps Oh, yeah Yeah, I'll put in it. Do you want the rest of my cigar? Hold on. I'm going to put in the zin Alright, you see the zin my cigar? Hold on, I'm going to put in a Zin. All right.

Have you seen the Zin? Oh yeah. Yes please. Apparently they don't cause cancer. I can't believe that's true. Whoa. Thanks, there's a... Ah.

It would be nice to do something for... What have we got here? Cool mint. Good to do something for Steubenville. That's good. I love it. That's who we need here. It's so weird. Every day I'm walking around.

I mean, I don't know what I can actually do that would be useful. I mean, what's strange for you is you haven't, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but you haven't experienced other towns or cities in America, have you? At this kind of... I've been to Inglewood, Queens and Steubenville. Yeah. And Austin. That's it. Those are my big four.

I would like to see normal, suburban, tedious America. Yeah, I was just there where we Dallas I mean even then and a McKinney city where a president was shot through the head I mean, that's at least not everywhere can say that that's all But I would like to I mean we also wanted to I want to steal Whatever it is people have here Whatever the Whatever the motivating, Holy Spirit, civic virtue that people got and they're living their lives with. I want to get in that and take it and have it and share it with the,

I mean, just me and my family. It feels like spiritually it's a very good place to be. Yeah. Well, even the other night you and your bride popping over and me texting someone to walk a couple doors down, have a pipe with us, play a game of chess. This is how we live in Stimbleville. It's just text whoever they come over. We're all just- I'm getting to know the people at the dive bar downtown, having weird conversations with their great big whiskies that they pour you. Yeah, they really do. I remember going to Australia, I'll have a double. I'm like, there's nowhere that's a double. Yeah, give me a couple please. I'll pay what it's worth the cost of living here is also

It feels like it might make that possible. Yeah, not overall in America, but in student where you can buy a house for whatever $40,000 I'm in Australia. It's like you'll be paying $700,000 for a bad house You'll be paying $700,000 for a bad house very far away with no room to raise a family. And I know it's not just about having material provisions for your children, but man, it does help to own a house. I think renting is bad for the soul long term. I also think I wonder if homeschooling is a lot easier than I think people often think. So many rules about homeschooling in Australia. I think people often think. So many rules about home schooling in Australia. I think people get this, is that right?

Yeah, like just getting together with another home school family suddenly starts to look like an unregulated school for which you can be punished by the state. Just the freedom in America. Like people probably should wear bike helmets, but to not have to is I'm like a kid in a candy shop. Every, just that whole sense of like, do whatever you want. We want you to go and succeed. I don't get that in Australia at all. You know? But the point I was going to say is like, you know, you and your wife, I don't know

if you've considered homeschooling. I'm not trying to talk you into it. It's just to say, it's a lot easier than I think people sometimes think. And that makes it a lot cheaper as a family living in Steubenville. If you're not paying paying, yeah, I think if there was a school that we, it's a couple of good monosori school here and I'm like 90% down with the monosori thing. And then they'll say something where it's like, we don't think reading is that important. What are you talking about? It's so important to be able to read. And I think it's really frightening for parents whose parents didn't homeschool

them because you're so, especially when they disapprove of you homeschooling. I'm not my parents did that. They did not have that. And so we were nervous because we're like, yeah, we get it. We get that we could screw this up. But this is what we've decided to do. Fighting back against the disapproval of people on this journey has been especially when you're not sure it's going to pan out. It gets easier sometimes when I think people's perception of what is happening in a public school is coming

into line with what's happening in public schools. Yeah. So people who five, ten years ago might have said, why would you homeschool your children? Are you insane? That's for ridiculous. I would go, well, you know, you don't want them castrating your son. And they do have a many little terrible idea of this place. You somehow identifies as a cat. Not a joke. No, no.

My favorite is when the private schools that are single sex have a trans person. And they try to be inclusive and go like, well, Timmy's Jemima now, and we're gonna let her live her best life. If you were actually being inclusive to that trans person, you'd kick them out of the school and respect that they're really a girl.

And you'd say you have absolutely no place at all boys high school. Right. Is this a bit you're working on? Cause it would be. No, this is just that Xavier college came out and it's training. They were like, we don't, we will accept, exclude. We're not going to accept girls, but we will accept trans girls, which is, which is the biggest middle finger to the trans people.

I would think. Maybe that could be a bit. Someone remind me that I said that. Do you have like, just you do it on your phone notes? Do you start putting down little bits and pieces? Yeah, yeah. Man. What's that?

I'm trying to get some new bits about America. Help me. Help me with a bit about America. Hold on. I think that through. What else have I gone? What else have I noticed about this country? The Harpin' Habit. I wrote that down. What else am I going? What else have I noticed about this country? The Harpin' Habit, I wrote that down.

I want to go there. I'm meant to have a birthday party for Thursday. We'll just watch the football later. Whether or not someone called Zion Williamson is fat, that's a big question that I hear a lot of Americans talk about. He's a basketball player who is apparently fat. Those are my only notes on America. That's fine.

Again, I'm generating material slowly. I'm trying to do the accent so that I can do commercials and things. So I watched the news for a full day just to repeat what they were saying to try and get the accent. And all I got was Jeffrey Epstein has been having sex parties with young girls.

That's actually a really good accent. And I can do this accent. There's not as much demand for this accent in commercials in America, but I think I'd do this one pretty good. It sounded like a Harrelson who was here with the pipe smoking fella. Is he in this way? Does he own a large house that produces a lot of cotton in the South? Close.

Close I think. It's um, I haven't, I really have no idea what I'm doing. You know if you live in Steubenville Yeah, your kids will get half the accession no half off to half off to mission at this still just by living here I mean, that's good I like that if they want to go there, but I think they should get a sentry your children are American I found that they're half and half their ostrich and they speak. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. Yeah I've heard that if you leave after you're 12, you'll keep the accent So if your kids stay here, they'll all sound like little yanks as well. I

Mean there are worse things that could happen to them. Mm-hmm. I Love it's not an offensive way of speaking when people say I love your accent. What do you say when they say that to you? I've got like all up. Thanks, mate Beautiful in your country. Do you ever hammered up to get what you want? Oh man. I just, I, well, I realized when I'm trying to, I now do an Australian accent when I'm speaking to people here, that's like more when I'm doing an impersonation of Australians,

maybe distance myself from it's funny. I do. Yeah. What's hard is I can't do a New Zealand accent here because they can't distinguish between my accent. So any joke that I have, I've got to do this voice. They go, he's just kept speaking in a strange way, man, New Zealand, even so my, we went to, in Dunedin we went, my wife meant to the Latin mess there when we were just becoming Catholic and there were like three people there. And we went back there and there were like 20 people there.

It's happening. This boom in the, in the. So I gave my hypothesis, which wasn't terribly original, but just the idea that we want to be enchanted. We want, we want reverence. We're tired of the sloppy way of living. We want our heritage back in a world that's fluid culturally. Do you have an assessment as to why people are rushing back to tradition?

I don't really know why I like it. I mean, there's certainly, there's a lot of people on the fringe, right? Who've come in. You meet quite a lot of people who were very right wing and it may have had like Nazi or fascist sympathies. And they've there's something about the world that they thought was wrong, and they've misdiagnosed that that might be an answer. And then they found that there is a, but people go, you know,

I wanna live in some sort of community. I don't wanna be alone. Yeah. And then picking not a very good community, in my opinion, and then finding that this is a much better, vibrant family oriented thing. When I started going to, when I had my first, with my priest, Father Mac,

Mac Daddy, he doesn't like being called especially. But when we were doing catechism, he was like, why are you coming along? And one of the first things I said was, there are so many big, happy families here. And he said, you want to take what they have and have it for yourself. And I was like, yeah.

He went, oh good, that's a reason you have to keep going with the catechism. I think what is then hard for people who are coming in, because a lot of people come in ironically, and that's a big wave. People who enjoy coming to mass, but are not really having a, they know that something beautiful is taking

place and there's classical music and there's incense and it's a very beautiful thing. But they are not signed up to all of the dogmas or whatever. Or maybe they think transubstantiation is a bit unusual, which it is unusual. So it's how you then, I don't know how anyone makes that jump from, this is an, I can see that this is good for me and I'm following along ironically, other than personal encounter or, I mean, having children knocks the irony right out of you, quick smart,

cause you don't, there's no time for that sort of nonsense. Yeah. But I think, yeah, it'll be interesting how people continue to grow in the, like a lot of, a lot of the trade thing is people laughing. Yeah. And people use that term and they're, but see I'm sympathetic to people who are laughing in that regard because I feel like we've been born into a cultureless swamp. It's a good place to start.

And we're not wrong to want what we were never given. Yeah. And so I tend to be much more sympathetic than I used to be. Yeah. To folks with pocket watches and things like that at Mass. I think good for you. The tweed jackets, man. Yeah. Bring it on.

I enjoy the tweed jacket. There is like a... Fake it till you make it. There is definitely a trad dad uniform. What does it look like? A crumpled chino and a blue checked shirt and a tweed jacket and a fatigue. Basically someone who looks like me on a Sunday, but, um, and the women in their long dresses and their beautiful. Yeah. No, I mean,

I love it. I love it, but it's, the aesthetic of it can't sustain you through the hard dark times. And if it can help you get into find the bits that will sustain you to which end the whole God. Yeah. Yeah. No, I see what you if it can help you get in to find the bits that will sustain you to reach out to your God. Yeah. Yeah, I see what you mean. I once had a I once had a bishop say, and it's along these lines, he said, you ask any priest after five months of being ordained, is wearing the shiny vestments enough? Yeah. Is being called father enough?

Likewise, with the married couple five months in, like is having sex, is that enough? And and both would be like It helps but no it's got to go deeper than that I'm not gonna make a joke about the sex going deeper. I'm going to just move right on past it I'm trying to be a good boyst yeah it's um I Mean I can only happen with a cat. Oh man, being at that Holy

Hour and I started reading, I had tried to read it earlier on in becoming a Catholic, a friend had given me and I lost and Jack, I'm sorry, but I lost his copy of Jesus of Nazareth by Benedict and it didn't really, I just thought it was sort of boring and I started reading it again last night at the Holy Hour, I got through the first two chapters. It's the most exciting book. It is, yes, I'm glad you've come to the conclusion. No, I... That's what I often think. If I read Thomas or Benedict and I think it's boring, I'm definitely

wrong. Yeah. No, you know, there's something in there that I'm not getting, but it's nice to be in it and growing in non... Because keeping your catechesis going once you have children is really hard. Like, I read my way into the faith in a lot of ways. It's like, all right, we're going to have a family. And then when you have young children, to have children is really hard. Like I read my way into the faith in a lot of ways. It's like, all right, we're gonna have a family. And then when you have young children, to have the time to get away, to keep learning about the faith is really hard.

So the fact that unlike fairly literal Protestant things that are going on, there are so many ways to point towards and deepen your understanding, just to get to look at iconography in the house, to just look at a saint for a couple seconds a day and how that when you then come back to reading about it, that has enriched your ability to do it is nice. Non-verbal ways of understanding. Which is also like- That's why I don't think parents have to be terribly concerned about catechizing their

children because the culture of the home is catechetical, but not in a preachy way, you know? It's like we do our little prayers. We go to this Saint Day party. I mean, I don't know if you know this yet, but people in Steubenville, everyone chooses a Saint Day. Nice. I shouldn't say everybody, but a lot of people choose a Saint Day and they have a

big party at their house for that day. And it's so beautiful. And it's not like it's overly religious. We just get together and we have food and drink and chat and that's it. I beautiful. And it's not like it's overly religious. We just get together and we have food and drink and chat and that's it. Who's your saint? You know what? I haven't picked one, but I'm picking one now. Our Lady of Mount Carmel, cause that's my birthday. 16th of July from now on. That's a good way to get out of having it to be my birthday party as well. You guys didn't bring a gift. No, I find out my daughter was born on.

Who's your confirmation saint? St. John of the evangelist. Yeah. That was definitely a, I'm getting more out of the other gospels now, but when I started, the fact that it was so weird and poetic and deep and beautiful. And that I don't understand what's going on at all, but it is, yeah, he's, he's writing very strange poetry. Is there was room for that? I loved and that really helped. Did your dad convert? He converted at the same time as I did. He started going to the ordinary in Adelaide. He comes to mess with us.

That's beautiful. And yeah, it's good. Was that awkward to have him convert? I mean, not awkward, I suppose. No, no, I was thrilled. Were the two of you sharing what you were learning? I think I managed to have my confirmation. you know, like I was at the midnight mass and it was the morning.

So I did still manage to get in there a couple of hours before her. But yeah, it's good. We should, we should talk about it more. What? Oh, just the faith. It's, you know, we haven't had a relationship talking about God. We talk about politics a lot. Yeah.

But to talk about the faith would be, to build into your, I find it really hard when I'm like on the road and I'm with somebody and like praying before a meal, which you don't have to say grace before every meal. If you're having a snack. If you want heartburn. You don't have to do it, yeah, and you do a big,

but it's to like, to instantiate that and have that structure is lovely. So the more things I can build into my life that have that. I mean, you just, when we were leaving the house the other night, you just like lit a candle, like it was a very normal thing. And now the Hail Marys are taking place. Yeah. Well, I also think it's important to take into account your children's, you know, bandwidth, you know, so if I, my wife said to me before we, before you guys left, she's like, honey, let's keep it quick. Cause they got to go. She's free. And she was good, but it's also good. Just say, okay, what can my kids actually do? Three Hail Marys? That's what we're going to do right now before bed.

I mean, my daughter does a prayer before she goes to sleep each night. We do like prayers together and she has her bid that is her prayer. No one else must say her prayer. that is her prayer. No one else must say her prayer. And she'll often like rush through it or get a word wrong. It's like, I'm not gonna. It's just it's great that she's doing it and she's loving it. And she you know, saying the evening prayer is a big part of her life. But then certainly, you know, try to do the Lord's Prayer. And there's a two year old who's just repeatedly punching me and telling me he hates me. It's a hard, it's a hard thing to get in. It is hard because you have to change your understanding of how prayer ought to look. We have a kind of romanticized, kind of like with marriage, right? You have a romanticized way of how your date night will go every single week. Yeah. And you have to be okay with it not going like that because you're sick or you're bored or you're angry or irritated. I think prayers like that too, if you have this romanticized view of prayer, you're likely to give up because you'll think that you're failing every time it doesn't go the way you thought it should. If it's built into so many things that it's, it's to happen, no matter what the circumstances are. But I remember as a young dad getting frustrated with my kids because they wouldn't sit still.

Yeah. And prayer has gotten so much better since I've stopped caring. You know, I'm like, look, the kids, it's fine. He's building a fort while we're while we're praying. Is that your Apple watch? Exercise ring load. Yeah, we were to take a break through a second, a quick exercise, and then we'll come back with some questions from our local supporters. I got to tell you guys about my new favorite app.

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It was absolutely amazing. It's had tens of thousands of five star reviews. Again, go to ascensionpress.com slash frad. It also has all of their amazing Bible studies. So I remember back in the day, I had a big DVD case of Jeff Kavan's Bible studies. Well, it's all there on the app. So go download it right now. Please go to ascensionpress.com slash frad. I want to tell you about a course that I have created for men to overcome pornography. It is called strive21.com slash Matt.

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As you go through the different videos, there's comments from men all around the world encouraging each other, offering to be each other's accountability partners and things like that. Strive21. Strive21.com slash Matt or as I say, Text STRIVE to 66866 to get started today. You won't regret it. you Any sinner is capable of being a great saint, and any saint is capable of being a great saint. And any saint is also capable of being a great sinner. I got a new poem? What? My new poem might be okay. Right? Alright, um, if the illuminati exists why haven't they given me a call? This one's alright. I hope now if there's any additional cigarettes.

There's none. Damn! Let's get him some tobacco. Oh, pipe? Let's smoke a pipe. There you go. Oh, thank you. I'm gonna do it wrong and everyone will. Well, now am I on the air? Yep. We are. So be more interesting for this.

I think my poetry is the future and I'm misunderstood in my own time. Not all the poems. We're trying to get better. So I pack it in. That did not feel like two hours. Hello everybody, I'm here to say I'm going to do the podcast in a James Donald Forbes McCann type way. Later on today, Thursday's birthday, I'm going to take him to a bar, I'm going to go watch the Steelers. My beloved Steelers who are having a difficult year.

So we taught you enough about pipe smoking the other day to make it work. I'm going to be okay. All right my beautiful, beautiful local supporters, they're all very attractive, sevens or higher, have asked questions and I'm going to take a look at some of them now. Not all. All right. Some. or higher have asked questions and I'm gonna take a look at some of them now not all all right some um why is Bruce Willis on the cover of James poem book Marlon Brando Marlon Brando's on the cover Marlon Brando 9-11 thank you for looking up the book of Palms. I got a red man what does kangaroo meat taste like takes forever to cook.

Tastes like deer. Doesn't he get deer? Yeah, it's just like gamey. Yeah, it is. Can I have that? Oh, yeah. You ever had kangaroo balls? I've never had the balls. I noticed that you've had you've got the scrotum. I got the scrotum taxiderm right there.

Apparently, emu meat was heralded as that was going to be the big replacement for cow in the 90s. They tried to export emus to America to try and get that off the ground. America was like, thanks, but no, we're pretty good. This is not the direction we've decided to go. I took when I went, my wife visited Australia for the first time. I took her out for kangaroo. I don't think I told her what it was until she was halfway through. Pardon me.

Seethy C, who's got a great YouTube channel called Judo comical, I believe it is nice. Seethy, if I'm to be honest, I think it's too complicated a name and you should change it. People don't know how to type that. Have as many names as you can. My podcast is the James Donald for the catamaran plan. And as many people ask me to change it, I refuse. Do you have advice for singles he says who seek community it seems that places like Steubenville are more family focused

that's not necessarily true look at the Thursday single he's having a great time a lot of great single folks. Mike Mike says coming from a country with very strict immigration rules and coming into the US legally with a visa, how do you feel about or where do you side with the border crisis in the US? Do you feel it contradicts our Christian faith position? You didn't expect such a serious question, did you? No, I'm happy to get into it. I'd like to talk about my country first.

Our country. I mean, they've just, our sweet nation of Australia has imported 600,000 people last year, which is bigger than Tasmania that they've just imported. And there's a genuine, we don't have enough homes for people. And so like families are living in their car. I'm not opposed to having more people come into the country, but you need some sort of way of housing. Yeah.

It's simple than just saying something like, everyone's welcome. That's easy to say. And then it's like, well, what are you going to do about the single mum living in her tent in Murray Bridge with her kids? She's not to say that other people aren't also struggling, but you have a duty as a country to look after people. And then it takes time to build those houses

and also the amount of restrictions on building a house, silly. I'd like to just be in a caravan in the woods with my family. Here's what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says, Political authorities for the sake of the common good for which they are responsible may make the exercise of the right to immigrate subject to various juridical conditions, especially with regard to the immigrants duties toward their country of adoption. Immigrants are obliged to respect with gratitude the material and spiritual heritage of the country that receives them, to obey its laws and to assist in carrying civic burdens. I'm doing my best to do those things as a proud visitor to this country.

Johnny6767G says, who is your favorite comedian and who would you call a comedian's comedian? Every comedian I talk to thinks Norm MacDonald is the best comedian. Why do this? I mean, I agree. But there's something about Norman. He's so natural. He's so, he's just, you sense a great honesty. He's not trying to sell you anything.

He's, um, he loves to, he loves the committing to the joke, even when that's going trying to sell you anything. He loves committing to the joke, even when that's gonna get him in trouble. The best comedian working today, also in terms of another dead comedian, Bernie Mac, last time I was in town, I was forced by Shane Gillis to sit down and watch several hours of Bernie Mac, and I had a wonderful, wonderful time.

But living, like Steve Harvey, not enough is said about how good a wonderful, wonderful time. But living like Steve Harvey, not enough is said about how good a comedian Steve Harvey is. He is outstanding. I'd recommend that everyone go and watch Ghetto Wedding, which is a 20 minute bit he does about going to a wedding in the ghetto. So funny, I mean, in terms of Australians, the recently passed Barry Humphreys was unbelievable

and seemingly made no impact in America outside of being in a couple of episodes of Ali McBeal. But look up some damn Edna highlights. That's a, that's a drag queen you can get behind, you know? How many kids do you have? Only three, but they're four, four, two, and one. Yeah. Who was your primary audience says this question. I can't read his name. It's too complicated Yeah. Who was your primary audience? Says this question.

I can't read his name is too complicated, but who's your primary audience? You're wanting to reach in. For what reason? There's a man named Sam McDonough who I went to university with. And when I think about what I expect an audience to know and what I'd like them to know and where I'd like to meet them at, I sometimes think I'm talking to my friend. He's a great man. There's a couple other people that I think about because it's too hard when there's a hundred people there and you're trying to, you can't just talk to yourself. That would be insane.

And that, you know, in the same way that that would be like, if you were actually just trying to talk to God and to think that, I mean, audience is not going to understand all the references that you privately have in your own thoughts and communication. But you do have to guess like where are people at? What is there? How many big words can I use in a short period of time when I've had a couple of drinks at night? And I think of Sam, he's what I'd like my audience to be.

Matt asks, are you hoping to go to a Trump rally? Yes, no, and why? Yes, I you hoping to go to a Trump rally? Yes, no, and why? Yes, I'd love to go to a Trump rally. I would like to go to a Biden rally if they let members of the public in. It just always seems very controlled and there's 50 Democrat donors there. But the thought of going to like a visceral American political happening would be, would be nice, wouldn't it? I think so. I'd like to go. Yeah. Okay. You come with me to a Trump rally. If I'm here, I probably won't be, I'll be in Austria the next five months, think so. I'd like to go. Yeah. Okay. Will you come with me to a Trump rally?

If I'm here, I probably won't be. I'll be in Austria over the next five months, but Thursday, we'd love to come. I think he may pick up the nomination and you may be lucky enough to have more opportunities. Yeah. You think so? Do you have any fleshed out thoughts on that?

Well, they may kill him, but they may not kill him. I mean, I don't know. This country is so much further away from Civil War Then it looks in the media from outside the country from outside just watching your news. It looks like everyone's ready to divide into fiefdom You know war chiefs, but I think I think a lot of it is rhetoric and having did you did you knock on wood?

In hopes that that would take place Who is the funniest female comedian that you you're. I'm loving Michelle Wolf at the moment. She's doing great work. I think I would watch an hour of Michelle Wolf anytime. I don't know her. She does have a bit celebrating abortion, but I think she's become a Muslim since then and may have dispensed with it.

She's on a journey. I got into an argument with a fella flying to the middle East about abortion. PhD guy. Yeah. We were sitting next to each other and his arguments were absolutely hopeless. And I was surprised that me who was just doing my undergrad at the time was destroying him. And he, you could tell he was destroyed. He knew he was. So as we were standing up, getting our bags from the top, he, he brought in a woman, woman, what

do they call it, hostess. Yeah. What did? Yeah. Like look at this guy, he's for abortion. Get the stewardess to say. But here's what was cool. She was Muslim.

Nice. And so she started, she joined my side. We love our separated brethren. Yeah. Me and a Muslim lady just going at it on this poor guy. And as we left, he actually said these words. words well I cannot believe you said this except it's true Well, I think your arguments are definitely better than mine, but I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep holding to abortion I mean I have some respect for the pro abortion people who concede that it's killing and they just have a worldview where it's

Okay to kill people to make your life more convenient. That's a consistent position I don't think it's a good position, right and don't see how you can live with yourself thinking that. But at least increasingly, I think people are copying to the fact that it's not just, you know, a procedure that should be safe, legal, and privately with her doctor and doesn't impinge on the rights of anybody else. Kyle, Kyle Whittington says,

what's your elevator pitch for the monarchy? So cool, Kyle, the crowns, the parades, the music. Having the head of state separated from the political argy bargy. Oh, yes. I mean, I don't even like this king. I don't even like the current king, but to have a king, to have, you know, I mean, I think people cry out for a king in the Old Testament and God gives them one. And he says it would be better if they didn't have one, if just,

if God was the king and we could regulate ourselves properly. But, uh, if you don't think you're living through the book of judges right now, I, you know, read the news. Patrick says, and, uh, James, do you follow Aussie footy, an Aussie footy team or are you like Matt and just watch cricket? First of all, I don't just watch cricket. I love Aussie rules football and Pride of South Australia the mighty Adelaide Crows. I would like as my mission to make them America's team if I can if I can get it to be half as successful as NFL football is in Germany

I'd be very happy but I'd like it to be the Crows. We've had a long dark difficult years The coach was murdered by his son. We went on to lose a grand final. They took the players on a camp where they maybe tortured them a little bit in some ways. Certainly some people were unhappy after the camp. And now it's all coming together. Big Tex Walker is back from his racism scandal and playing incredible football.

Isaac Rankin is an absolute delight. If that hamstring stays right and tight, we're gonna be okay. Rory Sloan's going around another time. The passion I have for the Crows is, it means something to love the Crows. It's like, whatever the 90s was, I feel that spirit really lives in the Crows.

See, I still remember when it was the VFL. Do I? Or I remember when it was the AFL without an Adelaide team. Yeah. You know, South Australia. Wouldn't it be nice if they just kept South Australia's own competition as the, as the best one.

I was, I was a ruse supporter. My uncle is a ruse supporter. They managed to get out. They were so unsuccessful at home that they did, I think, a good job exporting. Wayne Carey? You can't escape from Wayne Carey. He is a, Is he big in him he's a he's a troubled man because I haven't been in Australia forever so I

don't know what's gonna check the Wikipedia page he's gone through some hard times yeah he was Tony Modra doing with himself these days a lot of corporate events ah that's good Jay ladder says any plans for a short US tour while here? Yes. While he was at the comedy mothership. They saw me at the comedy. I didn't see. Oh, well, they said they missed you. I'm going to go back to the comedy

mothership. But as soon as I have 50 listeners in one place, I will go there. I don't know how many. I mean, you should probably have, do you think given that you want to kind of grow an audience here? Do you have a particular social media that you're trying to let people know what you're

doing and when? Yes. I mean, I have an Instagram, but I would love to get off of Instagram because of the algorithm and what it tries to, uh, I actually, I told it, I told it to stop showing me beautiful, big breasted women. And then after the fifth one where I said, I don't want to see this anymore, it started showing me Muslim videos about the importance of becoming a Muslim. So I think it's Yeah, it's getting closer

Ryan says Well-reg comedians like the clown in the theater. Are they better than comedians who don't know things? Victor Emma, who's this? Eramita would like to know. I'm I'm often shocked by how smart comedians are and people are much better read than me. And I just. It's a freak of circumstance talk like Frasier or something. I. Frasier is a great show. I love Frasier.

I've started watching the new one. They brought it back. Is the new one any good? It's OK. You know, the old one went bad at some point. I'm so bad at pipe smoking. I can't keep it going. Difficulty with pipes is, you know, unless you keep it in your craw,

it's likely to go out. AMM says, James, excellent job with the quality and training videos you did. I love the way you were respectful, truthful, loving and funny. Did you get any response? Was that encouraging or discouraging? The response was great. I found it. Yeah, I mean, there were a lot that were not respectful that we didn't sense

because it was a challenge. I had that job. I know some people who have worked in call centers and things didn't like that. So I always tried to call people whose call center jobs were pointless, rather than someone who's working on a KPI, like someone who's working as PR for a chocolate factory, or like the McDonald's hotline.

That woman's getting three calls a day and none of them are important, and she's bored and she's quite happy to have someone to talk to. That was the general response I got. I think a lot of people saw that you were doing these phone calls and thought, why is he picking on these fat people and then they go then they realize oh He's actually making him laugh and they're having a good time and he's not mocking him and he's you know, I try not to mock

People sometimes when when you're on the stage and someone is heckling Okay, I guess into too much fun putting them down. Yeah when I asked that Yeah, do you have a standard way or a few ways to respond to a heckler? And do you lay in bed at night thinking about how to do that? No, I mean, you just wish the quality of the heckling was better because when someone's ready to heckle, they've got a couple of drinks and they don't have anything interesting to say at all. Can you remember one kind of response that you gave? This is one I get sometimes. There's a circular glasses man. Oh yeah. You might have got Harry Potter. Oh I see. But um, I mean when you can, when I, I love not having to

do my material because I find it so hard to write and so boring to say things I've said before. So when someone really wants to talk and like have a respectful weird back and forth on stage, it's so nice. I actually maybe shouldn't say that publicly because you don't want people thinking they have to do that when they come along, but it is wonderful. Well you know, you just said that kind of repeating things that you've said before you find boring and our case in point of that is I remember when you gave this excellent bit about, for me once, for me twice, for me three times and you went on and it was so funny and then you came and did a stand up bit at our cigar lounge and I asked you

at the end, hey do that bit and you said, I don't know what I forgot. I did you came and did a standup bit at our cigar lounge. And I asked you at the end, hey, do that bit. And you said, I don't know what I forgot. I did it three times. I recorded it the first time I did it. It went well. And I think the premise is too similar to a David Cross joke. I mean, he goes in a different direction,

but he also, he starts by going, fool me once, fool me twice, fool me three times, and then he keeps going. Then he goes in a different direction. So I felt ashamed that I had had parallel thinking with another person. And did you realize that after your joke? Or did you pay?

I thought beforehand, someone must have done this. I asked people, I put it on Reddit. Someone said, this is a Demetri Martin joke. I look, I could not find anything that Demetri Martin had done similar. So I did it and I recorded and I put it out. And then eventually someone said, you are a thief. This is David Cross.

And it's like, well, I could take it down. It was genuine parallel thinking. Taking it down probably makes me look more guilty. You know, it's a nice joke. I don't think it is there. Bring together two things we've talked about. One, you not liking to be scripted, right? Yeah, you find it boring. But then you also said it kind of doesn't respect the audience.

And yet if you were invited to give a five or 13 minute bit and it was a really important comedy club, presumably you're going to be a lot more scripted than you otherwise would. You mean, you wouldn't want to seem scripted. Right. Within that short amount of time, there's a, I've really like crashing the five and doing like everything is so tight, so tight. It's like you're playing a pop song. That rhythm is really exciting to be in with people. But in terms of.

Yeah, I only have. I would like more material that I could enjoy doing that way all the time. But it is, you know, it's got to be alive for you, right? Like, it's got to mean something while you're saying it or it's. It's really dull. Like, I'll see some people who are just reciting their work and they, Hannah Gadsby has a bit. And I do actually some people who are just reciting their work and they, Hannah Gadsby has a bit. And I do actually, Hannah Gadsby was a good comedian when she was doing the clubs in, she did Nanette. And she was a really strong club comedian. But then she had a bit later

on where she was like, I'm not really doing my comedy. I'm reciting it. I'm just thinking of the words that I've thought of before. And as I would love to be able to, to do that, I would love to like just have the, my little words that I get up and say. And I would love to be able to do that. I would love to just have my little words that I get up and say one after the other and try and make it sound right. But I'm a bad actor. I'm a seriously bad, people try and cast me in things and then are shocked by how bad I am at acting.

It would be so nice if the skills would double up. But I cannot do it. Wouldn't it be, oh, it'd be edited up and I'd get commercials. What a big, beautiful car. but I cannot do it. Wouldn't it be, oh, it'd be edited up and upside to get commercials. What a big, beautiful car that is, I can't do it. Yes, yes. What are your thoughts on Jerry Seinfeld? I love Jerry Seinfeld.

I just watched, I started watching Curb Your Enthusiasm on the flight over, I'd never watched it before. Do you respect wood? Anyway, that was a bit in the episode. Yeah, there's a show that's incredibly funny, but gets incredibly vulgar, so I just refused to watch it. But there are bits in that. Well, how do you feel about, so in cinema,

like there was, so Oppenheimer came out and there was a sex scene in Oppenheimer. So I refused to watch it. Yeah. I've watched it and loved it, but I understand that. I'm also- Is he moving away again? Yeah. I am a mover, I'm a groover. Many keep, don't touch the mic and that'll be your litmus test.

Just a way to go. Yeah, I mean, there's no other nudity, I don't think, in other Christopher Nolan films. And I think the sex scene, he's not trying to make it a sexy, erotic thing. He's trying to make like a weird dark point. I mean, some of it's my own past of once, once having been hooked on this stuff and never wanting to go back to it. It's also kind of like, you know, if you played sport as a kid and you damaged your body in some particular area, there's a sensitivity to that place that you have to be mindful

of when you go back and play again. And so likewise, there's a weakness in me that I cultivated intentionally throughout my childhood that I have to, I have to be aware of. But I think more than that, even if it wasn't there, I think it's never acceptable to portray pornography or to show to, I think pornography is never acceptable. And I think pornography is showing images that are intended to sexually arouse or by and large have that effect But I can't I can't look at a Commercial for a bank account without being but that's your problem. Not not a commercials problem I know that's the difference

I don't want to get to the point where it's like when you land in Dubai and they've got Vanity Fair magazine And you know a woman has cleavage and they've got a texter and they've like crossed it out. I respect that Yeah, look, I do actually wish they did that for me personally. I'd like to have the option of that magazine. Yeah. It's hard. I mean, it's a fallen world that you have to move and live in. Yeah.

And some of the most erotic things that I've ever seen have been like very wholesome. I remember seeing a woman in a park a couple of years ago and she was just like a modestly dressed woman, skipping in a park, playing with her family. And I was like, this is just so beautiful. I'll let that go. But again, I'm not doing anything wrong. Not to reiterate the point.

I'm sure you understood it. But I mean, for pornography to be pornography, there has to be the intention of the creator and the intention of the consumer. And they kind of need to match up as it were. Yes. You know, like I like that. I think Oppenheimer would be a hard film to masturbate to. Not impossible. Yeah. But I think I think it would be this. film to masturbate to. Not impossible. But I think it would be,

unless you were really, really far gone. I think it was, was it George Weigel or somebody who talked about the nudes in the Sistine Chapel. And he said, if that does elicit lust within you, that should be a ringing bell that you have fallen woefully from where you ought to be and need to do some work. You know, but I think there's probably a profound difference between that and whatever was in that op and high of a film.

I find myself, you know, maybe it's kind of like if someone is I miss that you probably know. Well, if someone had, let's say, let's say someone was hooked on some serious drug that ruined their life and ruin their marriage. Right. And then they watch a movie that kind of trivializes that drug a little bit it's deeply offensive. Well certainly like being as a person who likes to gamble going to a pub that has a lot of pokies in it like slot machine fruit machines you'd call them here is a real challenge for you. Yeah.

Did you were you kind of hooked on gambling for a while? I never have enough money to gamble seriously. But I mean, Australia's gambling is like. See I see gambling the way I see people smoking pot. Usually I find it so depressing that I don't find it enticing. You know, so if I, if I walk into a bar and people are playing those games, I actually, I actually feel sad. You know, that song blow up the pokies. Yeah.

Yeah. What a beautiful song. They should force that to be played in pokie rooms to remind people. I feel that way about marijuana, but I love to watch the dolphins spin around, make a tidy little cheeky $40 and walk out with all my coins. It's a problem. I'm aware. And the, and the catechism does permit gambling under really limited circumstances. Games of chance. Games of chance. If you're just having a nice time and things are in check, that's not a problem. But I had an uncle who ruined his family because he was

just using all this money. He had a huge gambling addiction. My auntie didn't know about it. Destroy his families. And in Australia, it's totally unrestricted. And America is going that way with the sports betting. Isn't that funny? They're so down on tobacco, but yeah, all for gambling. I joked earlier, gambling will ruin your family faster than tobacco. We had eight cigarettes in that pack and I joked that those would be 20 bucks each in Australia. I was shocked at how expensive tobacco. Yeah, you tried to buy a cigar. So a cigar I have never seen someone as, as bristly. I think it was a trans person serving behind the bar.

I was a trans person. I was either a very muscular woman or a trans man It was and then you were you dealt with that magnificently But then when they told you the price of the cigar, I said I'm gonna pop off Yeah Tuga says I'm a house music DJ producer. My world is very work and hedonistic yet. I'm a sober Catholic James How do you handle being a Catholic in comedy? Now you touched on this, but I try not to touch on it. That's a poor joke. I, uh,

I mean I got home, I got home and I, I don't hang out. My friend, Sam, who actually shot those, uh, quality and training purposes videos. Who's great. He's very talented. He's also a weekend DJ and he he's trying, he's comes to mass and he really tries to, he goes, when I'm out at the club DJing, I just, I go on my phone, I play the music, I try not to look at women in bras dancing, you know?

And so, yeah, I mean, you're in the world and you've got to know where your problems are. I also had a lovely time backstage talking about, you know, America with those strippers in a very, you know, above board way. But it's also if if I found out we people were going to a strip club after a show, I would say I can't I can't go out with you. As cool as it is to pay women money to pretend to like you. I mean, I got to go home. It is nice when people pretend to like you. I mean, I gotta go home. It is nice when people pretend to like you. Even when I'm going to just a restaurant

and the service here look you in the eye and they act like they really care about you. I know they want a tip, but it is still nice. I remember being shocked at that. When I moved to America, it was to Texas. And I was shocked and remember saying to my girlfriend, now wife, Cameron, why is everyone so nice? And I quickly learned, are, you tip in America.

But I'm all about that. I'm all about tipping people if they do well. I'll have to no matter what I refuse to tip. I went to the Naples house and they made us this weird Italian, not really Italian food, this American version of Italian food with your weird electric yellow cheese. I've had a gut full of the weird cheeses in America. of Italian food with your weird electric yellow cheese. Yeah. I've had a gut full of the weird cheeses in America.

Just, I tried to find the least processed cheese. You had at my house. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Cheese. That was, no, but that was real expensive French cheese. This is, ah, don't get me.

I won't start. I won't start the bread. The bread, how many ingredients can you put into a loaf of bread? I give me flour and water. Yeah, you know, whatever that third thing is yeast I remember when we lived lived in Ireland you'd buy a carton of milk and It would always expire within a week. You'd buy milk here expires in Yeah You're gonna meet a fella. His name's Alex Plato. He's gonna he does make bread

All right, and you're gonna love him and. His name's Alex Plato. Does he make bread? He does make bread. Alright. And you're gonna love him. My wife's got a sourdough and started going. That's what he does. And it's the best sourdough. My wife makes it and I'm like, this is fine. It may be the same. Nobody's. Naturally is as good.

Alright. As Alex Plato's bread. You're gonna love it. Yeah. What's your favorite book? Oh, nonfiction. That's unfair. Nonfiction?

Yeah. Fiction. Let's do fiction. No, hold on. Hold on, I can do nonfiction. The Bible. Now fiction. I mean, there was a time out of university where I just read like, I read a lot of books, a lot of long books back to back that I would struggle to differentiate. And if you ever become sick and you're bedridden and you need to read something, I would, you know, infinite jest, war and peace, crime and punishment. You're gone with the wind. I love gone with the wind. You made it through infinite jest. I loved it.

Yeah. It took me three attempts and it was after he committed suicide and a lot of it is about. He's got some beautiful commentary on modern culture. Yeah. He was in ICIA before he died. He attempted it twice and then I think killed himself so we can hold that hope I've got a foster Wallace because I think he he's gone. Yeah, he's um, he's terrific I never made it through the pale king because I was too sad that he was dead. But in terms of nonfiction

Yeah, a supposedly fun thing. I'll never do again is great. Consider the lobster is great. Oh, I love David Foster Wallace's. I'm trying to think of a great work of nonfiction. I just started reading Emma, that's fiction by Austin. And the first three chapters, I was furious because kids are screaming and there's a hundred characters introduced at the start. And then not one new character is introduced seemingly for the rest of the book, but I'm really enjoying Austin. Actually, Vanity Fair by Thackeray, I would hold up as my of all those big, long, weird books.

It's, it's exceptional. It's great. I, yeah, brothers, brothers and Lord of the Rings. I never made it through brothers. I would love to. You will. I started a couple of times. You know, I often think that a, that a book for me, especially a book that people

tell me is a little difficult. It's like when you go to somebody's house for the first time and they give you a tour. Yeah. And the reason they give you a tour and the reason you'd like having a tour isn't just so you can see their house, but so that you can feel situated. You, you understand this world that you have just inhabited. And so for me, if I'm going to read a book that's slightly more complicated, I want somebody to help me understand what it's about. You want a lot of good footnotes if you're reading. So I can then enter it and, oh, Shane Smith just texted. We should totally check out what

he said to say. I got to read this. He's responding to a comment we just got right. So you know Shane Smith is he's. Shana I'm going to ask for your help getting gigs in this country. You know what we're going to do. Nice. You're going to hang out with James with tomorrow. Make sure we get some photos. We have to do a double comedy header here with you and him at some point.

We have to. But listen to this comment that was that came up Thursday. You're gonna love this. This is a comment that came up Thursday. You're going to love this. This is a comment that came up under the Shane Smith interview people watching. If you haven't watched it, you need to. He says my heaven. She says my heavily tattooed son introduced me to you. We watched you on Dry Bar Comedy together.

He also sent me this video which stunned and thrilled me as he's been away from the church. I'm excited to see how this plays out. He's a heavy metal guitarist, by the way. Isn't that beautiful? I wish I had gotten tattoos earlier before I knew that before my priest told me I was not to get them. I often feel it would be nice to have a big Southern Cross. Big Southern Cross on the arm.

But I now can't do it. I don't think there's an argument to be made that it would inculturate myself sufficiently, but I do think they're cool. Southern Cross is, is this what I don't know what he thinks, but is this star constellation in the Southern Hemisphere that we have on the Australian flag? It's just a proud part of being an Australian. I love Southern Hemisphere. Brazil has it as well.

So it's not just us. I love it when they say in Australia, like, it's the biggest arts festival in the southern hemisphere It's like we just beat Brazil and Chile and pop on New Guinea Taiwan Oh Not that southern not the Confederate flag Southern Cross. Thank you for learning And right after I said, I loved Gone with the Wind that was important to clarify Gone with the Wind is a beautiful sexy magical book I so I just started reading Harry Potter because I really want to like Harry Potter and people

have told me it's excellent. People just got to the school. You're going to love it. I'm past the school now. I'm a few chapters past that and I just and so this is what I'm about to say is going to sound super pretentious, but I actually mean what I'm about to say. So I'm sitting down. I'm reading it.

I bought the hard bound copies. I was really excited to get into it and I like it. She's a very excellent writer and the story is great. But I just don't care that much. And so I bought a collection, you were with me, of Tolstoy's novellas. And I was in bed with my wife and Peter and it was very early in the morning and I just said, well, let's read a story. And we read a novella from Tolstoy.

The two of them and me were gripped. Yes. So it's not like it's his highfalutin stuff. My nine year old son loved it. And I thought this is so much more edifying. Very readable for anybody. So I'm moving to Austria tomorrow for five months, as people know. You're taking the Tolstoy? And I'm going to take the Tolstoy and leave Harry Potter.

Which obviously is a better idea, probably. But I like the idea of reading fiction. That's not. There's a moment in the second, early on in the second Harry Potter where he's taken from his sad orphan life and he gets to go and spend the summer with what is a thinly veiled Irish Catholic family. They're poor, they have too many kids, they have red hair.

Ron, Ron's family. And it's like so astoundingly charming and nicely written. What I love about that, I haven't gotten to that yet, so you can follow up, but what I love about what seems to be happening there is that the author is showing the beauty and wholesomeness and goodness of this large family, even though they're poor and that people make fun of them. I mean, I think theologically we would break with JK Rowling on a lot of things, but she is, she's I think just like the best creative example of Anglicanism in the world today, or whatever

that English. Is she a practicing English? I don't know the extent to which she's practicing, but she was, she's come, she said she was a Christian and Harry Potter is transparently a Christian. How so? Self sacrifice. It's about resurrection. I won't spoil things that happen towards the end, but it is deeply, heavily informed by the Christian worldview.

And she's got maybe a more lukewarm version of that than, you know, that makes more concessions. But I can definitely see why she would not tolerate the trans thing, because again, she, I mean, she really believes in truth, right? She's like, I can't, I'm not going to go along with this thing that people are telling me that I can't make sense of. And got into all that trouble. No, I'm a big, I love JK Rowling. Is she still getting into trouble? Oh, she'll just keep getting, but they love making money off her. It's nice to watch the big companies squirm that they want her intellectual property. They want her money. They want to make all the movies and the video games. And they want to make documentaries about her work while separating themselves

from her and talking her down wherever they can. You know, trotting out someone who was in the movies to say, but we don't agree about this. Don't you think that the trans movement is eating its own head? It doesn't seem like it's got much steam left. Don't. Doesn't feel like it's got much steam left. You say don't.

Yeah. I see what's going on. Yeah. It's certainly the one that freaks out normal, non-cultural war, participating people the most, because it's very hard to castrate a child and sell that as a good thing. You've got to do a lot of work. You've got to have a really good singer at the end of that in the castrati movement, But it's yeah. I think it it it terrifies people.

Yeah. Daniel wants to know why is James McCann such a cool guy? Stay off of marijuana. Good. Aaron says, what is the best boat and why is the correct answer? Catamarans. Well, I actually don't know anything. I've got a podcast about trying to buy a boat, but I don't know anything about boats. But there was a couple I started watching in Covid who they called Sailing La Vagabonda. And they did this series where. Greta Thunberg was trying to show how it was possible not to have flights and shows

it was she was going from Europe to America or America to Europe and She went she asked if anyone could get her there in a boat and this Australian couple had a YouTube channel Put her on their catamaran and they sailed her across now it proved the opposite because they almost died and it was terrifying And they were caught in the storm and they keep cutting to the man who's got his family and Greta Thunberg on the boat going I'm trying not to tell anyone how bad this is, but we're in a real bad situation right now so planes maybe do have their place but I she was I really um, you know, it's easy to talk down and Greta Thunberg because she's a screechy autistic child, but I

Really liked her in this series. She's like, you know, she she's again She's pursuing the thing that she believes in and I don't think her parents should have given her such a free hand on it because That kind of been good for her emotional well-being but like Man, I recommend that that boat that they have in that show that they almost die in on the high seas. That is my That's my dream boat. It's the Greta Thunberg sailboat. Do you watch other comedians regularly? Yeah. Not as much as I would like to.

I heard someone say who was a comedian that they don't do that because they're afraid they'll accidentally start stealing bits. I mean, that may have been me. If you ask me a different day, I might say that as well. But, uh, yeah, maybe when I sink in, I love it. When I like, when I'm at a club watching other Comedians I take real joy in in that I Find most people's hour really hard to sit through on Netflix because usually people don't have a good hour They've got a bunch of different five minutes that have been cobbled together

but this year there have been a couple Shane Gillis's new hour is Sensational Matt McCaskker's new hour was terrific. Nick Mullins' hour I really enjoy. So it's still being done and when I get into it and I like their work. But also professional jealousy. When I look at someone and I think I'm better than them and they're doing well and they've got a big audience and no one, you know, here I am toiling in obscurity. You can't help but feel negativity.

I mean, Jerry Seinfeld has got to be a big part of why this seems to be this resurgence in comedy with comedians in cars. He had, well, he had a documentary called comedian where it's him and a guy who's on the app, which is like, and it's Jerry writing his new hour and sucking in front of audiences over and over again. It's a, it's a, yeah, I know people who watch it every year. It's a beautiful depiction of what it's like. Oh, I love Jerry.

He's coming back with a new hour to Australia and there's no way that I'll be allowed to open for him because he brings his own opener. But I, that's a dream. Wow. What do you do for fun? That's the least impressive. Yeah. When you're at home, I play a lot of chess on my phone. Yeah. Yeah. I too much. Like that is my video game. Substitute is bullet chess on my phone. Bullet chess, just two minutes and you get an extra three seconds every turn.

And it doesn't make me a better chess player because you can't, I can't think deeply while I'm doing it and it's just using what I know, but I can chess app or is it something? Yeah. Thick chest daddy, 69. If anyone wants to play a little chess, I've had the account for quite a long time and yeah, I love, oh, I love finding out about my, you find out a lot about yourself playing chess,

like, and not always good things. Like I figured out that I, I think I'm quite a boring, non-risk taking person. I just like to get a small advantage and eke that out. And it's like, Oh, well, how am I doing that? If I'm doing that in chess and they're told me back there, how am I doing that in my actual life, maybe I'm taking enough chances and being in a new country. Oh, I hope this Toyota Camry is a good one. It's hard buying a secondhand car. Where are you getting it from someone or a dealership?

I think it's a dealership, but he's putting it up like it's not a dealership on. Oh yeah. Man, I'm livid with how Facebook marketplace works in America. People put up like a decent price for the car and then you read through it and then they go as a down payment, you go, oh, I will stuff you. don't get me involved yeah and then people going like cars great everything's great doesn't have an engine yeah why have we left that until the third paragraph and it was a yeah I don't know about cars I don't know if the car I'm about to buy is a bomb yeah but oh I left my car in

I left my car in Australia I loved my I kind of Volvo XC 90 with a terrible turning circle Filled with crumbs and yogurt from the crumbs in your yeah And also a car is like the perfect recording studio in terms of how it's shaped if you want to just sit with a microphone Somewhere that's why I don't have a problem. I just did his did he really cast in a studio in a car. I do my car Yeah, yeah. Well at the moment I'm doing it. I just, I tried to do an episode this week and I woke my whole family up. I came downstairs from the bar. I came over from the bar and I was too loud. It's hard. I got to find a space. It's fine.

I'll have a Toyota Camry very soon and I'll be hunched up talking about having a boat. What is your wife looking forward to about being here? I can see what you're looking for about being here, obviously. Yeah. Community traveling, comedy. The communities are big for her and growing in the faith. She's never seen America, so she was quite nervous before she came in about the guns and the violence

and the media perception. But like, man, once we have a car and we can just go to see a Carnegie Museum, to see a different, we walked down through the Steubenville downtown and we went to the Carnegie Library and it's just like a new public library and a new way of running it.

And we were thrilled to bits to get to, I remember just to be with your children and showing them something exciting. I remember the first time I saw Bondi, I was grown up and I didn't have my kids there. This was only a couple of years ago. And I was so sad that I couldn't show this thing to my children. Yes.

So the really like the Indianapolis Children's Museum to get to get in the car, drive there together, spend time with each other talking and then be at this exciting thing that we can share. I'm sorry if that is a hokey, but that's really the dream. You and your wife are going to have to come up with a kind of dream destination just for the two of you. Is your youngest one breastfed like? Yeah, still breastfed. Okay. But we've got a community of amazing guys who would love to help you guys.

I would love to take her on a date. Yes. And my dad's staying with us and that's, he's been really good. I didn't know. I didn't know how good he would be because he's an older man who likes writing and his privacy and he has been a, yeah, a real blessing. He's going off to Washington. He's also understands that sometimes it's good to take a break. Yes. his privacy and he has been a real blessing. He's going off to Washington. He's also understands that sometimes it's good to take a break.

Yes. It's sometimes difficult to have the extended family all under one roof, but he's going off to Washington and he is as excited as DC. He's as happy as a little girl. I'm going to see the monuments. He's so jazzed. Yeah, just to see America.

I love, a man, it sounds like a, it sounds like a Hokie and not true, but I love America. Like when I'm on stage, I was at Joe Rohn's club and every set I just felt I didn't plan to do it. But I was like, God bless America. This is a beautiful country. And they love hearing it. And I love saying it. I don't say that in Australia. I don't go, God bless Australia. You go, yeah, things about this country that I'm sure God I don't like but it feels so nice to be maybe I've just been brainwashed from a young age to say it but did you bless America? Did you record that bit in Austin? I don't know if they record the sets but I should ask. Oh I'd love to see it. It's just I mean

it's just me doing my sit and then at the end going you people are so beautiful. What a beautiful country this is with your big toilets and your big car these something the cars are weird like the perfect height to kill a whole school of kids like what are they what is the no one else in the world feels they need to have something that there was four yards off the ground Australia we've got cars and we have utes yeah and then we have trucks and trucks means something very specific whereas here they call them trucks though they're Utes, but I guess they're trucks because they're three times the size of Utes. And they don't, they, they, yeah, they, Utes don't look like our Utes. No, they're gigantic. Which is also sort of nice when you're driving a big Ford and

it makes a ridiculous, everything is big. The door handles big, the locks big. The fridges are huge. When you, this is going to be so uninteresting to everybody, but Ah, let's find out. When you open a can in Australia it doesn't quite make the noise that a can makes in a movie. I think that the lid is slightly thinner. It's not as aluminum as you would say here.

But when I opened an American can and it went kkkkkk and it was like a sound effect of a can opening. I was moved. I was transported to not to another place, but to the place I was in. Have you found a favorite American beer? They all suck. This one's, I mean, Sierra Nevada is all right.

God bless America. God bless America. But the beers, I can't, they go, everything is either like inoffensive and sugary and flavorless. I gave you a yingling the other night. I like the yingling. That was like in the realm of the hops have been turned up. But it's just like they're like, ah, these beers are unsophisticated.

Let's throw as many hops in that as possible. The Cooper's Pail is. Is the beer. I was shocked in Australia at the airport when I bought a Cooper's, just just one Cooper's and it's about 15 15 bucks Oh, yeah, they they hurt you They hurt you I when I was at the airport in Austin and they had vending machines for flowers Hmm like on your way out you can pay to it like not to a person but just to get your Presumably you've done something terrible on your trip and you need to make that up to the wife very quickly a

Bokeh vending machine. Yeah What a country What a weird country. Also just having been in New Zealand where everything is great, but it's like small and very expensive. Something about, I was trying to figure out why the landscape in America was so moving and why New Zealand, it's picturesque and the photos look great, but it doesn't like, I wasn't moved in the same way by, I think it's cause there's no big animals in the forest that can kill you in New Zealand. There's not one mammal. It's just all good. Same in Australia.

Well, a croc will get you. You go the wrong way. There's still this stuff out there. But the thought that there are like wolves, I know, bears, deers. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to get into it. I'd like to go to Yellowstone and have a bear attack me and have to fight him off. Fight him off, that'd be a great story. I remember being in Canada and winter had passed and we were helping someone clean up their driveway. We were putting our hands under all this wet wood and carrying it.

And I thought, I mean, because I was 20 at the time, like 20 years of living in Australia has taught me never ever to put your hands in wood like this because there's spiders and snakes and all things that will kill you. You just touch the wood. But I'm less afraid of these perhaps more deadly things like King Brown snakes and red backs than I am these giant things that could hunt you and stalk you and eat you. I mean, I don't like that they're reintroducing the rewilding thing in America is I do find that it's this like there'll be areas where wolves used to be and they've

gotten rid of all the wolves because they kept killing people's you know everything and they're reintroducing wolves they're rewilding they're like trying to get wolf life back as much as I love that there's wildlife here I think it's a mistake to once you've gotten rid of it, just be happy that it's gone. Yeah. You've already. Let's not bring snakes back to Ireland, you know? Yeah.

All right. This is, this is fun. Thank you for being on my show. Well, if I, when you're back from Austria, I'd like to, I'm going to meet this Shane man. Yep. He seems nice. This is great.

I've had a wonderful time. I'm going to go and haggle with a man about a Camry. That's good at a dealership. I haven't haggled at a dealership ever. Do you have a number that you're not going to come down from that you know that if he doesn't take it, you'll just leave. Well, he's not going to be watching this so I can say that he's already asking a very reasonable price. So if I don't get any ground, I still have to buy that car. But now do you need, I just, cause I'm going to Austria, I just got this, uh, you know, universal license or whatever. Do you have to do something like that? There are some states where I can't drive in and you can only get that universal license

in the country that you're from. But if I stay out of Alabama, I think that'll allow me to have my, they don't seem to check. There's like a much lower police presence on the road. I read on the Wikipedia about the one speed camera in Steubenville that they got rid of because the townspeople decided better not to have it. I don't want that. Yeah. No speed camera.

That's very dangerous. No seatbelt, no speed camera. James McCann in memoriam. Twenty, twenty, nineteen ninety one to twenty, twenty four. Cindy says when James, I am blind as a bat. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast.

I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'm going to go to the West Coast. I'd love to go to Do I want to go Wyoming? I'd love to go see what yeah, I've never been there I've been to almost all states, but why is there a big town in Wyoming with I don't know It's a square right? So it's like a perfect geographical square. It's very sparse very rugged. Yeah, I know some of the states

I can't believe they get to be states. They're so small and they get two people Rhode Island What I and you got I just found out that people live on this one of the small islands in Hawaii. Like you look at Hawaii on the map. None of them are on the big island. I'd love to get to Hawaii. I've got to break up that flight. That flight's obscene. Yeah. Yeah. How long is the flight to Austria? I don't know. Probably about, well, I got to Amsterdam. That's probably like seven hours or so. Yeah. That's not too bad. You'll get through that. Yeah. This is what I've to Amsterdam, so it's probably like seven hours or so. Yeah. That's not too bad. You'll get through that. Yeah. And this is what I've learned now, right?

Cause I'm a lot more awake in the morning, obviously. So traveling in the morning is nice. Yeah. But with kids, I want them to sleep. Yes. And I don't want them just to watch movies. Yeah. So we're going to leave about 8 PM from Detroit to Amsterdam. So hopefully we'll be full of sleep at some point. And your kids are old enough that you can drink on that flight. I just started doing the big flight. I don't know if this is illegal or what, but I bought the duty-free bottle of Jack Daniel's and the Coca-Cola and I went to the disabled toilet and drank half the

Coca-Cola and just had a Jack Daniel's on the flight because they were going to charge you like $15 a drink on the flight. And I just I got very drunk and watched Lord of the Rings and had a conversation with a man from Denver. And my wife had to come over with the children separately. Well, it was the worst thing I've ever done. I'll never not be sorry for it. I have all the all the things, the chemical alteration. I have all the status, so it's all free.

I travel so much with Delta that it's... To get into a nice lounge. That's nice. Yeah. It makes you feel... But they, I mean, flight... I'm trying to write something for New Poverty about how they won't make flying pleasant. Like something about trains was always nice.

And there's a romance about trains. In the airport, no matter how much money you have, no matter what you're doing, doing unless you have a private jet they find a way to make you feel like an animal yeah have you ever been on the GAN no up and down the guts of the, oh, the other land that's per Sydney, but I love those trains. They got rid of the sleeper carriages, but that's my, that's my fantasy. Is one of the longest rail rides in Australia, stretching from Adelaide. You were right. My apologies. Oh, no, I'm South Australia to Darwin. I would so love to go to the game. It's like $3,000. So it's not like, a convenient way to do it. Is it, do you feel like an animal in the game? I guess is it nice. They bring you the most succulent meats and cheeses

Little chandeliers. Yeah, sometimes what my youtube algorithm falls into someone just like Doing a train like most expensive trains and they're like look at this on the Japanese bullet train. I've got my own toilet. And I go, gee, it'd be the GAN price itself as being a somewhat upper class. I think we're trying to sell themselves as a LIDAR experience. I like it's too outside of your pints with Aquinas brand to suddenly pivot to the GAN lifestyle experience. It's now in pints with Aquinas. I mean, one of the best hotels in the world. Yeah, I'd say so. That's funny. Gee, I wonder pints with Aquinas. I'm in one of the best hotels in the world. Yeah, I'd say so.

That's funny. Gee, I wonder if I have wiggle room. I'd love to have as a business expense. I'm buying a $6,000 bottle of water. No, it's good to deprive the self. Tracy KD pointed out and I remembered this Shane Smith, who you'll meet tomorrow calls Wyoming one big Walmart parking lot is dry past special. I mean, that's, that's risky cause you're going to be in Wyoming one day.

I also really enjoyed my time in the Walmart parking lot. It was magical. This big Marion blue that they've got it painted. Walmart is a very special place. People talk it down, but you like it. Oh, I liked it for 25 minutes and then I wanted to vomit and lie on the ground. It was a real pivot. It's a how good Walmart. When my wife and I used to live in Ireland, we came, I say, see how I pronounce Ireland. Yeah, you

got it right. It's like when your wife says Melbourne, it's just one bit of the accent that sticks out. I came back and we went into a Walgreens in Dallas because my in-laws live in Dallas and the two of us nearly yeah were shocked at how big it was. It's weird that you can buy cigarettes at a pharmacy. It is weird. Yeah everything is a health food store and then they got malt liquor. Not to mention get the COVID jab at a pharmacy. That's a joke. Wow they were making money doing it. They were getting paid per jab. Excuse me I'm not gonna oh we to just leave that out. Just we touched a nerve on on Minecraft. That's what we're talking about.

So basically, whenever we say things, I trust the science, I believe in the science. Did you say we say, well, on Minecraft, you. I think it's all the pendulum's about to swing back the other way. I keep saying that's never going to happen. Here's my goal. Yeah, we'll see in three months if I'm able to make it work. Oh, I want to get you in front of daily wire. Yeah, please. Executive managers. I want to get you.

I recorded daily wire special in a, I would like to say, I, I got no, no control. I can make an introduction. What they're doing. I like that they're trying to make like just normal open consumption movies and have an alternate road. And it'll be nice to meet Ben Shapiro. And he lives in Florida. I was just down there recently. He don't live there, but maybe we can get you meet him. I wanna push him. Their last movie was terrible.

Did you watch it? Lady Balls? It was absolutely awful. Did not get to. Awful. I heard you said it was bad and then I didn't watch it. Yeah. I respected the fact that they tried

and I thought the premise was great and I love when people give Hollywood the middle finger. I'm all about it. If I can cycle back to something three hours ago. The only problem was it wasn't funny. It's hard to, being funny is, if you have anything else that you're trying to push or any agenda or anything that you're trying to teach

or anything, the funny disappears. I don't know, it's like a poison that touches you. So I, this, and there's also, if you just set out to make a comedy movie and it happened to be about that you could probably do it But I imagine there would still be some Confines of things that you would be funny that you could reach out and do in a movie that you could you just couldn't do in A daily wire. Yeah film maybe maybe I'm wrong daily wife

I love me a big check to write a script and see if I'm right. What is one of the your funniest movies? Oh from one of your funniest movies. Oh, it's not fair. Well, before you... Do you know what? The one I most recently watched and watched again, I couldn't believe how funny it was, was It's a Wonderful Life. I never grew up with It's a Wonderful Life.

Such a good movie. It's never on TV in Australia. It's so dark. It is dark. It's so funny. And then I went back and watched a bunch of other Frank Capra. It happened one night. It was like the first romantic comedy.

I can't wait to watch it. It's outstanding. It's so funny. Clark Gable and a really great actress. Did you watch the Twilight Zone? Twilight Zone growing up? I highly recommend that too. Did you get that?

Well, not in Australia, but people started telling me about it here. I started watching it with the kids. They love it. It's excellent. It's so funny when you go back and that they're, like some things are hokey. Some things, when you go back and watch something from the 40s, you go, it's unbelievable that this

was ever made at the time. But then you watch like Hitchcock. Absolutely. And it's alive. And it's the best today. Yeah. He's nailed the genre and no one can improve upon it. That's how it feels. He's um, so it is nice to go back and find those old things. And it wasn't funny, but I watched, uh, all quiet on the Western Front. I recommend that. I didn't watch it. It's German boys dying in trenches. Oh. I wept like a... I was very emotional.

Not really funny. I asked Peter Craeft, you know who that is? No. He's a philosopher from Boston College. Brilliant guy. Yeah. He'll be up there with Lewis and Tolkien once he's passed. I mean, people, he's incredible. I'll take his book. Yeah.

Yeah, you know what? I'll give you a signed copy of his book. We have one in the lounge. Remind me. So I don't abscond. No, I want you to have it. That's why I'm going to sign it. I'll take it. But what did he say? Well, I asked him what his favorite movie was and I think he asked me mine first and I gave a very embarrassing answer. Then he gave a very good one. What was yours? I said, ah, Dumb and Dumber. Very funny. And he said, that certainly is a stupid movie. And I'm like, oh, what's yours? And he went a man for all seasons. I went, I just watched a man for all seasons at my priest's recommendation.

Great movie. Whales Richard. And I read it on the flight over here. I got the script. This is weird. It's a he was only made a saint. Is it Thomas Moore? Yep.

He was only made a saint in the 20th century because the Church of England continued to be against him. And before I watched A Man for All Seasons, I watched Hilary Mantel's story about him, which is Wolf Hall, which is like a pro-Cromwell retelling of that. It's got a great actor in it playing Cromwell, but it's like evil. It's an evil depiction of this great man and his conscience. The movie, yeah, A Man for Seasons was, I couldn't believe that no one had recommended it to me before then. But I've gone through the years.

That's another example, right? Where you think of this as old, it might be hokey. No, it was so alive. It was more powerful than Braveheart, I thought. I was that moved by it. It's that good. There's interesting, there are. Oh, can I get one more, big Mel one?

Signs. I haven't watched that in a long time. The performance Mel Gibson gives in Signs is my favorite acting performance ever. There's interesting, there are. Oh, can I get one more, big Mel one, signs. I haven't watched that in a long time. The performance Mel Gibson gives in signs is my favorite acting performance ever. I'd love to go back and watch that, yeah. I'm putting it out here, I'm never gonna have an opportunity to say, I wanna meet Mel Gibson.

Mel, if you're out there, I love you, and I'd like to meet Mel Gibson if that's the one. Acts like a grind, I love Mel Gibson. And so many people in the Catholic thing are one or two degrees removed from Mel Gibson or remember him from one time or another that he is like, obviously he's had demons that he struggled with and he's evolved as a man. The most talented person to come out of Australia ever. Like unbelievable.

Even when South Park did all the directors and they're like, they made, they're like Mel Gibson's a crazy person in his underpants running around or whatever they still can make to man is a good director is an unbelievable director. Just a genius living in our time anyway I love you Mel Gibson I don't know if Mel is a local subscriber. No, it's above 20 percent chance. I would say that Mel is there are movies that the kids hate the idea of. Yeah, but as soon as it turns on, they gripped a couple of exam. We watched one last night. Sound of Music. Yeah. Mary Poppins would be another one. There are movies. I mean, she's Mary Poppins. She's she's incredible. Yeah. Princess Diaries.

She's great. And Julie Andrews, it's a princess. Diaries is not as good as those other movies, but Julie Andrews is magical. Beautiful. Yeah. When it's a lot of the older Disney ones are just, I don't know when the last great Disney movie was, but they were in a formula for a while. It was just churning out nothing but great movies. Yeah. Here's a good movie. I want you to check out.

All right. Three billboards outside. Never watched it. Ebbing, Missouri. I highly recommend it you to check out. All right. Three billboards outside. Never watched it. I highly recommend it. Three billboards. All right. That's like a Doris Lessing. What's it? No, why am I saying Doris?

What's the actor's name? I'm really bad at names. Three billboards. Starring Frances McDormand and Mildred Hayes. Who is Doris Lessing and why is that name come to me? I watched this movie with my wife and I said, this is Doris Lessing, it's a Zimbabwean novelist, excuse me. It just, it kind of gave me faith in movies again.

It's possible for movies to be beautiful and thought provoking. And yeah, I couldn't tell you more than just a bowl of Skittles, you know? I liked the first Wonder Woman movie. Yeah, that was good. And I think there's a lot to be said about how like, she's so beautiful. She's, she's also like, she's the captain, the church and it's like some sacrifice and the blessed mother and like, she's a hero in a very feminine way. And so I took my wife is like the first thing we were going back to see after a year of not being to the cinema.

Cause we'd had a child to the second Wonder Woman movie walked out. One of the worst things I've ever had to say I couldn't believe it was disgraceful but yeah like a good current movie I couldn't tell you the last great movie that I had seen I'll watch that one. A lot of bad movies. A lot of bad movies. Let's make good movies. I yeah first thing I'll do is I'll go online and just type in family review to see how much sex are they about to surprise me with. And if there's not, then I'm, I'm really trying to think of like one good movie that I've seen of late or

quite on the rest in front was a newer movie that was really good, but very bleak and I would never show a child. Oh yeah. Please that film. Darkest hour is the darkest hour is good. I haven't seen the darkest hour. Gosh, one of the best movies I've ever darkest hour is good. Oh, I haven't seen the darkest hour. Gosh. One of the best movies I've ever seen about Winston Churchill. Oh, no, I did see the dark. So good. Gary Oldman. Yep. Is it Gary? Oldman or is it the other one?

Oldman. That's it. Oh, man. What an actor. The King's speech. It was, I enjoyed the King's speech, uh, but I don't think I could. Oh, actually when he's talking and they're playing Beethoven seventh, it is pretty nice. I think it's like the light. Do you know what the best TV show if I could recommend one thing that anyone could watch? And if you're on the flight and you want to watch something, the the the second season is the best.

The first season is really good. The O.A. It was on Netflix. It got canceled. Britt Marling is, I think, best person working in show business today. It's about a girl who disappears and she was blind when she disappears and she comes back having had an experience. And it's her sitting in a room with, she goes out and finds children from local high school and has this like mystic message that she has to convey to them. And you don't really know how much is her being insane or, and it's a lot of flashbacks and it's,

this is one of the reasons it was canceled is it's quite hard to talk about in a compelling way. But she's just made a show that was really good. I don't, it didn't move me the way that the OA moved me. And it didn't surprise you any hardcore homosexual pornography for fun? There didn't, there was none of that? You know, you've got to leave that with me

because I'm not, no, I don't think there is. But it's made the OA is having a blow up moment now that people are going back and finding her back catalog and it's uh, oh Man Thursday you have watched the OA No one watched the OA and they can't and when it was cancelled a lot of people had hunger strikes Outside of Netflix. Yeah, cuz they were people went loony. It's um, I don't think no, there's not a lot of it says It's in it. Did I say that? I mean, I haven't seen what kind of, I will peruse it again with a more keen eye. It's a, if you think you can handle the O a,

if you're a person who inclines towards asexuality and self-control, I recommend it. Justin says Matt favorite go to cigar. What does, what does, does go to mean what you have regularly or kind of easiest cheapest one what does that mean? What if you just have them? Is that a luxury? Yeah this is actually quite good this is a HVC 10th anniversary I really like that. You still can't get Cuban cigars in this country? I do illegally all the time. You're open on Minecraft. Oh, there we go. Thank you. What? Yeah, you're a big, you're a big cigarette smoker. Would you ever try a cigar?

I try cigars. I, you just don't. I smoke a lot for like condensed periods of time. Then I'll go a few months without smoking. And it's quite hard in America because they're so cheap. Yeah. The price really did stop me doing it in Australia. Yeah. And the cigar lounge, it's just a fun place to hang out. But there's something about not being able to inhale. Yeah. Cause we don't let you smoke cigarettes.

And what we saw and cause it damages the butt pipes and atmosphere cigars and cigars. It's around the head. We have little cigars too. I like to punch it deep in the lung and push it back out again. Like it's an apple. You know, like you just, ah, I take it punch it deep in the lung and push it back out again like it's an apple. You know, like, just, ah, I take it. It's in me. It's a problem. And I know that. Well, brother, I'm so glad that you live with us in this town. And I hope that the good Lord will permit and will you to stay here for many, many years and our children grow

all together and we can get to know each other more. Brother, brother. Thank you for having me. How about you, Shane? She's just started fist pumping. She said, I came down as when I said, good morning, know each other more. Brother, brother. Thank you for having me. How about you? Do you want to sit down? She's just started fist bumping. She said, I came down this morning and said, good morning honey. And I started fist bumping on the plane. She said, I want to fist bump the sun. I said, oh yeah.

And then she said, to make it die. And it's like, oh yeah. You're like, well, I've got to go and do an interview now. But that's, thank you for leaving me on that. Like it's January. She wants that sun to disappear. It's already dead. She thinks the sun is getting in the way of more snow. Oh is that right?

I think that might be what... Children are fantastic. I don't know what else to make sense of it other than she's a Mr. Burns like character who wants to get rid of the sun. Children are so great. I often say that Peter is living in a different story to me. That's nice. And so it annoys me what he's doing because my story is get your shoes on and get in the

bloody car. I think I'm often a villain in my children's story. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Whereas Peter's story is, I don't know, if I fill my mouth with snow, maybe I'll turn into a snowman. Like something completely random all the time. If I just try to get into his story, you know, from that worldview, it all makes sense. My children have a little lamppost. I just know they're going to do it.

And if I tell them not to do it, they'll definitely do it. So I'm trying to figure out how do I at least sanitize the lamppost by your house. I'll just get stuck. Yeah, I'll just I've seen it in movies. I used to do that. I used to open up my freezer because I would see it on American movies. You would lick the freezer.

So I open up the freezer, I'd lick the metal bar to see what would happen. Hurts. They only have to do it once. Maybe I could maybe I could organize them doing it in a safe environment. That's right. Rather you look at my house, they get older so they don't go crazy. So that we can watch you look after it. Well, yes, I'll go buy that car.

Yeah, and we're going to watch the Steelers. Thank you so much for having me on. This is this is beautiful. God bless you, brother. Thank you for saying happy birthday to Thursday. Everyone say happy birthday in the in the comments section of Thursday until it is amazing.