Pints With Aquinas - Gen Z Slang & Whatever Else w/ Bob Lesnefsky

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Pray on Hallow (FREE TRIAL): https://hallow.com/matt Parler: https://parler.com/mattfradd Join Us on Locals: mattfradd.locals.com Bob's Links https://vagabondmissions.com Emma's Record Label: https://www.enemyloverecords.com

Just make sure we're live. We're live. We're live Bob Lesniewski. I never got the Link, but I mean what the remember you said you were gonna give me that link. Hold on. Let me get it You guys talk I'll send it to you to my phone. Yeah, I didn't even know you had my number I don't how's he gonna do it. You're gonna airdrop it Gen Z over You text it to me I'll text it to Les Nevsky Les Nevsky does anyone ever has anyone ever called you less Nevsky? Dude, you did really good. I couldn't believe you got it, right? Most of my best friends still say left Nesky left. I've been calling Matt

Bruninger Matt Bruin Joe, that's what I call him. Yeah, I'm not gonna change He never corrects anyone. So I owe that's on him then I went out to Double date with him and his bride last night to sushi bomb. Oh, yeah, and on the way back We just got into these like 90 songs from high school years and we were cranking him Dude, he's trying to start and I say trying I don't know if he's really trying but he swears is true He's trying to start an acapella acapella acapella Group on campus that sings like R&B songs. It does he mean like 90s. He says he does dude like

He's hard to take seriously sometimes because he's so funny and I know the way dresses and stuff. Yeah, that's big hips You know, yeah, dude. Yes, I sent you the link back I know the way he dresses and stuff. Yeah. That's big hips. You know? Yeah, dude. Yes. I sent you the link that.

Big hips. He does have big hips. You ever, have you ever noticed that? Your, your viewers can't see cause he's got the table in the way of his hips, but he's got big hips. All right. All right. I'm texting you your wife's, I'm texting you the link for your wife.

Ready? Set. You got it? Make sure you don't edit any of this out. I mean that this is the best. I mean, if it's not live, it is something is like, I mean, when we, I mean, when we read later on,

normally ever watch it, dude, he's who? Let's just, I'm Matt. What's his name? Oh, good. Matt Brunger's hips. We're going to clip this out. Not to post it to the YouTube channel. We have no plan to post the clip to the YouTube channel. He's the new Cameron Bertuzzi, man. After the voice I did for Cameron.

I'm surprised he still became Catholic after I made- I don't think he ever heard it. Made fun of that voice. Well, see, that's what I'm saying. The hotshots never watch this stuff, dude. They're too big, too cool. Yeah, they're too important. Too busy doing other stuff. Made fun of well see that's what I'm saying the hotshots never watch the stuff They're too big to go To import busy doing other stuff. Are you let me know when you've sent? Her so she just said she wanted to look at that thumbnail. She's gonna be oh that you so my gosh

You're those who are watching at home. This went live to my local supporters, and then it went live Dude, I hate you to the riff-raff local supporters and then it went live. Oh dude I hate you. To the riff-raff. I'd like to pay one of those like scrubbers that like takes like an image or comment of you off the internet to take that picture down dude I hate that. Why? It's just so I look like a vampire I have like that weird friggin beard that's like trimmed up they the guy at Franciscan who took that picture says he didn't put like an edit on my eyes But they're like weird glowing. Okay. How is your style changed over the years Bob?

I know you used to have bleached hair and a shell necklace like all of us What generation are we I forget I was to virgin we're Gen X bro Gen X I know I am wrong Yeah, you might be a baby. No, I'd be Gen X, yeah. You might be the greatest generation. Okay. My style, dude, you know what, man, it's like a full circle, because when I was going into, not a full circle,

but it's close, it's an oval at least. I, you know, when I was going into college, man, I was preppy, real preppy. Were you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and look at me now, man, I got the cardigan, it's back, bro. Interesting. I was preppy real preppy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and look at me now But I got the cardigan it's back bro interesting. I love preppy. Yeah, I love sweaters V-neck sweaters with like the lines you come from a kind of preppy family. Yeah Well, I just came from like the suburbs of Philadelphia

That's why whenever people see like I have tattoos so like I can't wait to hear your story. It's like hey was just from a preppy Dysfunctional family Yeah, yeah, but uh, but anyway, uh, yeah, so I was really preppy and then When I got into inner city ministry, I think for a while I embraced like the caricature of what I thought like urban Like the caricature of what I thought like urban I want to read where was exactly what that was Oh, yeah, it's pretty it's pretty simple to describe like it was a lot of tracksuits like I really like BC boys, you know, like I loved them even though that wasn't the sound of the times in the early 2000s when I started doing inner city ministry, but But I thought that was the caricature. I knew growing growing up so it was like man tracksuits the kids hats or

dig it you know like cut off shirts not not like half shirts but okay here you know yeah and yeah oh a lot of trucker hats yeah I don't know I thought that was really cool I had one tattoo at the time and I thought that was enough. What was the first tattoo you got? It was my grandfather's name. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think in my first tattoo I was 25.

Wow. Yeah. People always like, were you 13 when you got your first? And why did you get that? We were close to the granddad? Yeah. Or does he just have a really good name? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. His name is Cleavus and it's a good name. Yeah

CS Lewis is my grandfather actually Cleavus or what's CS Lewis Nick live staples? That's it. That was my grandfather's name clives No, I His name is Andy. So it's not so don't say any it says AGK His name is Andy so it doesn't say Andy it says AGK Which I hope I didn't tell this story last time on your podcast because I feel like it was a bunch of tattoo clickbait This isn't about them. This is about me and you and if so if I remember okay, all right, all right Because this is good. This is this is a meaty. This is meaty, bro. This would be a good clip. All right boys all right, so Anyway, he he was in World War II, okay?

Not only was he in World War II, he stormed Normandy dude, on D-Day. He was on the bloodiest beach, Utah beach. Like and I read about like his ship, like the battalion that went out first. It was a 93.1 Percent death rate, you know, like so the survival rate was, you know under 7% of people but somehow he was he survived D-day dude and

and Yeah, and and so anyway when as a kid He got some things like he got a Bronze Star Purple Heart like he had some things that some you know Whatever, but he never talked about the war I can tell it was like a week before he died a month before he died It's not like that He finally, you know share with us and he gave me right before he died. I wish I brought it man Well shit, I knew you're gonna ask this question Anyway, he gave me a bayonet that he took off a Nazi on the Normandy

beach dude give it to me I already gave you the Thomas acquainted me furniture from my living room if you that back give me the bayonet we'll put it up here dude so anyway he's stormingy and he had as a kid He has this American Eagle tattoo on his arm. That was just you couldn't tell what it was. It was a blob I remember as a kid. I have this this memory of like sitting around the circle Table in his kitchen and right here always in the same spot read the paper and just touching his arm you know skin was thin and yeah and and read the paper and just touching his arm. You know, his skin was thin and nasty, but just touching his arm and being like,

tell me about this. And he was like, ah, I was drunk, I was in the water. He didn't wanna talk about it, man, but he was just a good man, dude. He was just a good, holy man, and I was fascinated. And we'd always say as kids, like one day we're gonna get your name tattooed. And he'd be like, no, no, don't get it. But we're gonna get your name tattooed and and he'd be like no

No, I don't don't get it. But we got it all three of us before he died We were so we're able to show him and we have this picture like well We're showing our tattoo and he's got his eagle and he's in it. What do you think of that? You know, he tried to pretend like ah, you shouldn't have got it, but he thought it was awesome Yeah, you could tell he loved it and so that must have been amazing to have it Were you aware that he hadn't shared much about the war when he began speaking about it? What was it? I was my grandma my grandma came in and she she's like he's never told me anything Like she didn't even know he had that bayonet. He brought down from somewhere upstairs

he gave my other brother like a Luger gun and We He gave my other brother like a Luger gun. She was like, he's never shared any stories about it. He's never wanted to talk about it. Like those guys just came back, got to, he worked in a factory, you know, making like, I don't know, like bolts or something in Scranton. And he just came back, worked in the factory, didn't complain about it.

You know, and it's just like, it's just so weird how different culture is now. And I'm not saying that that is the way to do it, like just stuff all your wounds or horrible memories into a box and never talk about it till a week before you die. But, but there's, there's something like honorable about this, you know, just like, you know, I just did what I had to do. I just do it. Carry you across and not tell everybody about it. Today is just like, you know, if we have like an allergy to mustard, you know,

like we get a sticker for the back of our car, you know, like, you know, like there's a ribbon, like an allergy to mustard ribbon. It's yellow. There is not really. No, no, no, it's not. But I was in line the other day behind, I think I'm probably going to be the most offensive guest but I doubt that I was

You have Matt Bruninger on her so you have Matt Bruner just hips that he was making fun of people with small hips He probably was man, and that was offensive. He probably was though Probably probably did do it. That's what happens when you're insecure you make fun of the alpha You take them out, bro. These two are training at Jiu-Jitsu to get me one day. They're gonna they're gonna finally take me down No, I do you want to do you want to put these sunglasses on and do your alpha in? Right. I don't need the shades, bro. You know people have eyes they can see I'm my right, so I Was behind this person in the school drop-off line the other day

and they had this huge bumper sticker. I don't know, I mean, they must've had it made unless it's a highly-produced, mass-produced bumper sticker, but it said, I love someone with life-threatening food allergies. I just, like, I was like, come on, Ted. I mean, I'm not saying, like, if you have life-threatening food allergies, it's like, come on, Ted. I mean, I'm not saying if you have life-threatening food allergies, it's not a big deal,

but it's just like the difference between that and someone who stormed Normandy and went back to the factory. It's like, I don't know, man. It's a... The worst sticker for me is the... It was probably your car, bro. Well, I didn't wanna to say it, but the

poor, since you called me out so openly, the poor print that says who saved who, I want to be like, I want to wind down their window or have them wind it down and say, no, no one, no one, unless they drag you out of a burning building. Also, why would you get a mutt, you know, when you could get like an actual real dog

that's not been abused? Do you know what I'm saying? How do you know it was a mutt, dude? How do you know it was a mutt? Well, who saved who, I think the implication is we rescued this dog from a shelter. But if it's in a shelter, like, they could just kill those ones

and you could get a new one, you know what I mean, that hasn't had any weird baggage. You're right, man. And I don't know if people realize that. Bro, this is gonna be the next big viral thing that you make in front of the dogs. Let me guess, the dogs aren't funny either. The female dogs, when put in a stand-up environment, I've never found one to be funny. Well, I'm glad you were. That would be weird if I could get to, I don't think that's possible.

Blushable area. Be like, well, I guess the head, the top of the head, it just starts. I feel like it's possible. I've, I've felt myself blush in my life, but it's like when I accidentally embarrassed myself, when's the, when's you, can you think of the most embarrassing moment in your life? Uh, there is something what was it that I was like telling all these people like I've never been so embarrassed like it was Could you say that into the microphone so people can I think of when the last time there was something else like I've never been So but it was oh

Well, I could tell you one really horrible. is a horrible story but it's really funny good yeah it's pretty bad this is this is good this is clippable boys get your fingers on the mice on the mouses all right so I I definitely I like self-amidly I got an anger problem you know like and I guess I need need to pay someone like Matt Brunner to you know, give me some healing but like anyway, I And I've worked through it I'm like, you know, it's come way down from like my like go-to anger Spot is road rage. You know, that's like where where I tend to be the most but I've kind of come away from that but the the surprising space that I've kind of come away from that.

But the surprising space that I didn't really think about was sports because I'm not an athlete, I'm not a sports fan. When people are like talking sports and like I just excuse myself because I don't know what they're talking about. And it's not like I feel embarrassed about that. I just don't care, man.

I don't care about it. My buddy, Bob Rice, they took me to a Tampa Buccaneers game and he's like I know you don't know anything about sports I'm gonna tell you he's like here's one thing Tom Brady's a quarterback and I was like haha dude I know Tom Brady plays for the Patriots and he's like I'm not getting he's really so that shows you how little I know about sports so with that context I've never been able to cut my teeth. I've never been able to practice patience or temperance, prudence, like any of those things,

like in the arena of sports. And so none of my kids have been good at sports either because me and Kate are bad at sports. We're not encouraging them, not giving them tips. I don't even know anything about sports. So I have one kid, this Toby, who is now a Franciscan, but when he was in high school, he was really into basketball. And he got really into it and he was really bad at it at first. And I was like, just quit. It's so much easier. Yeah, just trying to really, but he didn't

want to quit. And he really kept at it. And he went to like some clinics and he just would grind and get better. And then when he was like a junior and senior went to like some clinics and he just would grind and get you know get get better and then When he was like a junior and senior in high school, especially as a senior. He was really good He like started for the high school local, you know for his basketball high school basketball team and so I would go to every game dude and One of the things that like I found with him He was like just this rage that would just I would get so into the game like one of those parents yeah, who would always like get men up getting into it with another parent like from the other team and

Probably because I'm contrarian but like I would sit with Sit on the opposing. No, you wouldn't bench. Yes. Oh not bench Yeah, yeah, I suppose opposing bleacher on your own or with Kator. No, okay didn't come but but the storm I tell you she came okay, so I Would always end up like doing this like I would I found like if you hit both your hands against the bleachers It was so loud So whenever our people would make a point ever I disagree with the ref I bow bow boom just over and over again and their fans hate it, you know

But I found like I could really like you it was like one of those things where you feel like I'm really making an impact like I'm and I do think to this day like I was impacting the game you know you think like it's pissing people off it's it's encouraging to our team it's like it's definitely moving the needle and so I would do this thing and sure enough some player from the team parent would be like will you shut up you know like and and then and I would I would do it louder I would say something back, but anyway this one time my wife was with me and I

Was boom boom boom and this guy you know kept looking at me and then he would yell something real obnoxious the next play or whatever and She had to leave a halftime and she was like do not get in a fight with that guy with that person that my wife Okay, she's I have to leave she's like do not get in a fight with this parent right here And I was like I won't I won't all right just leave you know like come on mom just leave and and so she left and So the next quarter I'm doing a bum bum bum and then all of a sudden he starts boom-boom-boom He'll look at me, you know, and then

I'm like a little ashamed of this but it's just to give the I'm trying to be vulnerable All right, and sure sure authentically, but he was like boom boom boom and then he was like, you know what? You're an a-hole, you know, and I was like boom I just kept doing it staring at him dude. I was just I was in the zone, bro I was like it was a close game then we end up winning Okay, but by like one point because okay probably because because of me. All right, but like Anyway, so he says finally say hey buddy F you, you know,, and, and I wish that I was just like, but I was like, F you, you know, like, yes, dude, I was fired up in front of families and children and, oh dude, I mean, I just was in another zone.

I was, I was on, at least I didn't say women aren't funny, bro, but we won't get into that. We won't get into it. But um, I, uh, so such a weird retort. F you women aren't funny. It would probably have been more offensive. I tell you that from the comments I read, it seems more offensive. Pause, dramatic effect. Yeah, cut that clip out.

Anyway, so I, so, but you know, okay, so this shows you how, like on a natural level, like I feel like I have such little natural virtue, and here's a guy, I've known nothing about this guy, but given the fact that he was quick to say a few, some other things he said, like I'm thinking, like he's probably not Christian, he's probably thinking the same thing about me. Okay, but, so this is what happens.

He turns to me after, boom, but the next time I'm banging thing and he's like hey buddy He's like let's what if we just have a truce, okay? He's like I he's like I'll stop you stop and I was like weakness I do it just right away like it brought me it like was like cold war on the face And I was like I was like okay. Yeah, okay, and so I didn't say anything the rest of the game, okay? So there's a whole nother quarter going by and and it just some I'm like, okay. Yeah, okay. And so I didn't say anything the rest of the game Okay So there's a whole nother quarter going by and and then just i'm like thinking like man What a jerk dude. This guy has to call me on, you know, and so you think he's the jerk No me. Okay. What what i'm saying about myself? What a jerk. This guy has to call me on

I mean that is pretty impressive that he did. No, it gets way worse. Oh good. So so So he he it was impressive. It was worse. Oh, good. So he was impressive. It was impressive. So I decided it's a couple minutes left. I'm like, dude, next time out, I'm going to tell him I'm sorry. So I time out, and I was like, hey, dude. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm such an a-hole, dude.

I was like, I definitely have an anger problem. And I was like, I'm sorry. I lose my temper so easily. All these years of men's group where you're encouraged to be vulnerable. So you're just being vulnerable. It's probably not ready for it. So listen to what he says. He turns to me. We have both our hands on each other's shoulders, which the parents are probably thinking they're

about to wrestle. But he puts his hand on my shoulder. He's like, he's like, dude, he's like, I just found out I have cancer this morning. And dude, I was like, oh my gosh, dude, like, I was like, as if he would lie about that. No, I know. And well, dude, everyone I've told the story, they're like, he probably got you, man. He's probably just, you know, I got my hand on his neck. I'm like, I'm so sorry. He's like, the story, they're like, he probably got you, man. He's probably just, you know, I got my hand on his neck. I'm like, I'm so sorry. He's like, I just, he's like, I just have had the worst day. And I was like, I was like, I'm so sorry, man.

You know, I didn't want to say like, I'll pray for you because I don't want him to think like Christians are, you know, jerks, you know, but I like, I'm never left with my tail, but between my, I mean, I just couldn't, so I got home, my wife's's like did you get in a fight with that guy I was like yes and no but I was like but that's not the worst part you know like and then went on to tell the story it was dude just the war I mean that's probably the most embarrassed I've ever felt in my life dude I mean I don't know why you're embarrassed because I think if you had have reacted negatively or if you had a told him to piss off and then go into a fight and then found he had cancer, you should feel desperately ashamed.

But it seems like you were humble and then you apologized. If you heard all the back and forth, there was no physical altercation. But it was loud. It was angry. It was just filled with vitriol. But like, yeah, it was rough. But it was just so, I just couldn't believe. Because you always think, like, someone being like,

well, you don't know, maybe that guy's having a bad day. Like the road rage, for instance, I always tell people, they don't know, man, maybe that person just lost their mom or something. Maybe they just had that cancer. And you're like, no way, dude. And I just could not. And so there were probably four games less in the season you know for the next two games like I

didn't cheer like that but the last two I was back bro and like it didn't last long looked around make sure he wasn't there just for the record do not make a clip that says Bob thinks cancer is funny or Matt thinks cancer is funny or something thinks cancer is funny or something. Bruninger. That's something these guys would do, right? The clickbait. Well, that's what Krueger said about Krueger. Bruninger. Matt said that it's like, I light a little fire and then it's Neil's job to come in with a flame thrower and just all the clips. I think I can't remember the most embarrassing moment of my life. I may have pushed it way deep down inside, but the one that comes to mind was I had just

got a job at a grocery store. And this is when you're 16. If you I don't know if it was like this in America, but you know, I was really proud of myself getting a job and it's really you have money. So you feel really great. And it was a nice, nicer grocery store. I don't know if they do that here, but in Australia was like, you know, you would wear the tie and the blazer. You look to go to the grocery store. I don't know if they do that here, but in Australia it was like, you know, you would wear the tie and the blazer and look to go to the grocery

store. No, but to work there. Oh, okay. And so this one day I was in charge of going back to the large refrigerator in the back and loading up the metal trolley with orange juice and Coca-Cola and Sprite so that I would then fill those front fridges up. So I'm pushing this big thing down and there was a girl, I'm not going to say her name just in case she's watching, but she was so beautiful and everyone in school was in love with this one girl. She was the popular girl and she was beautiful. And I'm aware that she's seeing me and she's in the checkout line.

And I don't know. I certainly want to look like an idiot. I don't know if you can look amazing filling up a fridge with coke, but you could look like an idiot. I could make that happen. And I did because I must've opened up the cartons and I was about to fill the glass orange juices into the fridge and they all started rolling out and smash shattering all over the floor. And I don't know, man, I just, I think I froze and maybe, maybe I tried to put some back in. Could you try and push her out of the way, bro? Like from the glass.

That's what you should have done. Capitalized. That's what the alpha would do, bro. Matt Bruner, Matt Fred wouldn't have thought of that. Dude, you push her out of the way, bro. You save her life, don't save it from the glass shards. She was about, I don't know, 10 meters away from me, though. It wasn't like she was. That's why you dive. That was really embarrassing.

Because everyone is looking. Yeah. Just kind of, so it doesn't count. Was it Nicole Kidman? It was not Nicole Kidman. No. Just in case. I'm old, but I'm not that old.

You didn't say how old she was Well, I did say she was in our high school in the new rooms. Yeah, wasn't the cold kid man. Okay I was trying to think who would have been who would been listening to this podcast from Australia Yeah, I'll just say the name just in case he's watching. It was Lisa Brock she was so beautiful and friendly and kind and and When that happened, I was so beautiful and friendly and kind and when that happened I was so ashamed. I was just so, and because the entire store is looking at you and I'm just standing there as things are exploding.

That was embarrassing. I bet you she was like, I bet you she felt like scared and would have like appreciated the you know, the effort that you could have put into her. The dive. Yeah. Sure. And anyway. And if she didn't say if you could just walk over and give her a hug it yeah. The dive. Yeah. Sure. And anyway. I know she didn't say if you could just walk over,

give her a hug. Yeah, I should have done that. Yeah, it'd just be like you, right? Take a look, you got any glass on you? Yeah. Something like that, you know? Okay. What'd you do?

Start licking up the orange juice? I remember I was so embarrassed, I said to my boss, I'm so sorry, like, I'll pay for all of these. And like, it's really okay. But you know when you get your job and you just, yeah. Yeah, dude. That's rough, bro. I thought you were gonna say the Shiznit story. So yeah, well that story was, I was on stage,

you and I were speaking at a Steubenville, Franciscan Steubenville conference somewhere. And I said the word Shiznits. And I just thought it was a fun word to say. I didn't know what it was. It's not with an S, you didn't say Shiznitz and I just thought it was a fun word to say I didn't know what the S of the unit says schiznitz is it not you said you said something like that I'm the schiznitz I would not have said yes yes I said the schiznitz I said it was the schiznitz and I didn't know what it meant um and you said only you could get away with that you said that once we got off stage and

I said what what is what do you mean he He went, that means shit. Is that true? I don't know these things. So, well, you just like, you know, you said like, I'm the shiznit or that's the shiznit or I don't give a shiznit. I mean, you can get from the context what that meant. I think I put like it is in there, you know, like, yeah, that stuff. It was me just trying to relate to the kids. Yeah. Well, it was good, dude. It was, I remember thinking like that's hot But like I just couldn't pull that off in fact I got reprimanded from I don't want to say who was at the conference

office are Mark Joseph, but For Making a fart joke one time When I was hosting and I remember thinking like freaking Matt Fred says the f-word When I was hosting and I remember thinking like freaking Matt Fred says the f-word You definitely could say any curse word in like a men's session I'm nothing like a main session, but you you let let the the the verbiage fly But it's you got that cute accent you like flipping your hair back, and it just and they don't care, bro But someone's like me is up there, you know making a fart joke my tattoos

You know, they're ready to like, you know, snipe me, bro. Yeah, that's, that's it. The feedback from the talks that we would give, that was like the first YouTube comment section. Like, I mean, you don't do videos on YouTube, but. Dude, so bad. Remember? Yes, dude. In fact. I called all the boys, I'm not proud of this, but I called them pussies.

And I got in big trouble for that. And I should I shouldn't have used that word, but it was my way. I know what you're saying. Yeah, I get it. You're you're playing the coach card, you know, and it's like that. It worked. There is something like motivating about that, like with the guy, you know, when you're being called out like, yeah, yeah.

I normally try and like modify that word with pansy or something, they get it. But I'll give you some tips after this. Anyway, but yes, dude, the comments were so, I remember one year they gave you the option, do you wanna see all the comments you got, the feedback. It was positive and negative. And we were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a group decision.

It wasn't like individual. And so this was like all the hosts like that. I'm thinking of this specific group. So Paul George, Any, just Steve Agrizzano, just different people that host the conference. And then, so I got got one it was 78 pages long Okay, I remember so they gave us it was like a PDF. Wow. It must have they must have scanned in this was a long time ago All right, and I'm reading through it and like

90 Something percent of these comments are very positive like over-the-top undeserving this man's a walking saint you know like and then there would be like Three comments I would say and those were all I would think about it's like how insecure you realize like everyone's experience really insecure Yeah, and but I mean some of them were so funny You know, I remember like, you know just things about like why does he put his hands in his back pocket? You know, like why does he put his hands in his back pocket? You know, like, why does he wear, you know, a dark colored skinny jeans?

Like, what's he trying to draw attention to? I mean, just stupid things that you're like, what? I mean, just the dumbest things. But you know, you start thinking, or like, man, he really seemed off this weekend. I don't know what was wrong with him. And then he's just like, what are you trying to think? Like, what was I doing that with?

I don't know, but dude, it really made me like second guess. Actually, the year after that, I took four years off from doing the conversation because I was just like, why do I care so much about this, dude? It was like really like... That was the impetus for you taking time off? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it was that and I think just some personal things of me and Jesus, like

thinking like that. Like it made me think, like, why do I care so much about this? And then like, why does Jesus love me? And how has being like a speaker person from the time I was in college onward, like, you know, affected my walk with Christ, like in a negative way. And it's just, you know, it's just something that like,

you know, I feel like there were some things that needed to get worked out there, you know. But yes, I felt so embarrassed that I was like, cared so much about what some random, you know, youth minister thought of my, you know, skinny jeans. Yeah. And now many Catholics who are trying to reach people with good intentions, um intentions are doing it online. And the comments are just piling up whenever you say something.

And I wonder what that does to people. How they have- Yeah, well you'd be able to testify to that. It crushed me the first time I got a ton of negative comments. And I would much rather say- what do you do to combat that? Well, it only really crushed me once. Okay. Um, I did a particular interview years back and people from both sides were just

deeply ashamed of me, you know, and saying things like that. Buckle up after this interview. Just so you know, this is nothing committed. I promise. And, um, yeah, it's the same thing where you wish you could say, I don't care, but I definitely can. And, uh, so I gave my computer and phone away, I think for like four days just so I could get out of the thing. It's funny. Like, um, it doesn't matter how, how big you are. Are you texting? Well, you know, I guess I guess I have my notifications on bro.

I was trying to think. Yeah, I did. I did. I don't know why they're on. It's way worse than negative comments. Do either of you know an Andy Chury? Andy Chury. I do. Oh, okay. Cool. He that explains a lot. Did you send it to him? The link? Yes. Yes. This is an amazing dude he just commented in all caps Bob is my husband Wow I didn't want to tell you how I knew

but he is my former husband no he's a he's a great dude Andy cheery yeah at least decent decent yeah yeah did that comment? No, we get a reserve the great He was mad last time because he's giving me a lot of tattoos on my legs and I didn't point out any of the When I put my leg on your table, I remember Yeah, he was mad that I didn't point out any of his thing. We can do that at some point No, I wouldn't do that, but that's good You know, honestly like it there's a fine line because I know we're we're talking about this in men's group I don't want to like break the seal of men's group fine line because I know we're talking about this in men's group, I don't wanna break the seal of men's group,

but I think there is something that's okay with, I am not impervious to people saying bad stuff about, you know what I mean? Because there's like, yes, on one side, it's like if you're a saint, if you're there, dude, and it's just like you're a saint, if you're there, dude, and it's just like, you have the luxury of being in a relationship with God where you don't care about anything. You don't care what people say about you,

you don't care what your kids say about you, you don't care what, you know, any of this stuff. But most of us aren't in that space, and there's the reality that we might not being, we might not being, you know, like living beyond reproach, you know? And so like, there, I think like for me, that was like what was so hard about it, is like thinking like, well man,

maybe some of this stuff I should take a heart, you know what I mean? And it's also like, I feel like, I try and stare like, share with the college students, like, hey, I feel, I felt really insecure about this, or I struggle with depression, right? I don't know, there's something that's, I feel like that's, it's very human and good to be like,

oh, Matt Fradd, he felt insecure about something. Like, there's something about that. Like, I feel like it makes you, as a normal person, be like, oh, well, I guess I'm not like weakling if I felt bad that someone made a weird comment about my shoes or something. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that's right.

I don't know where the line is between sharing too much and not sharing. We could talk about that, but I've tended to find that whenever I've like experienced something that I feel alone in, if I've ever been able to articulate that with some satisfaction, everybody resonates. Yeah. Just reminds me that we're not special, that we're all. And I'm not saying, dude, you got you got to start sharing more like

when you're feeling bad and anything like that. I'm just saying there's there's something I think that is okay with, and I just shared that this really wrecked me when I had a kind of crisis of being obsessed with what people think about me. So I think there's kind of two pendulums. You're like, I don't care what anyone thinks, I don't give a shit.

That's not healthy either, but I think that there is something that's okay with, like, man, I. But I think like the analogy is this, right? So once I got all that blowback, I gave up my computer and phone for a few days and then didn't care. And I think what happens is it feels like,

and it's not true, but it feels like the entire world is set against you when something like that blows up. Like at the time, I probably had like 17000 YouTube subscribers and maybe it was like 100 negative. Not like now, baby. See that. That was 200000 ago. No big deal. Yeah, but I would say that after that, I've just I haven't actually haven't cared as much. And I don't know what changed. But I suppose like there's an analogy here.

Like if your friends could have said to you when you got those negative comments from those few youth ministers, you know, if you if people had have been in the room as you gave those talks and they may have said, yeah, like I think I think you could have done this or that better, but they would have said it in love. And because of your relationship, your guards would, I think I think you could have done this or that better, but they would have said it in love. And because of your relationship, your guards would have been down and you would have been able to hear them heard them. But then they could have also said, no, it was actually an excellent talk. Like, that's that's the analogy. Because like, just like I don't care about YouTube comments anymore.

I actually don't care. I put out so much content. I don't have time to scroll through it anyway. But I really do care if you call me on something or Neil calls me or something or Thursday says you shouldn't have done that or Trent Hall will call me or Jimmy Akin or friends will. I'm like, thank you. Like, I'm really appreciative for that. Yeah. But you can't be adjusting yourself based on every negative comment.

Yeah. This Chris, like someone's what this Christopher, I can ever tell you that negative comments people are saying He texts them every morning, they'll just text me negative comments with any and he'll say Hashtag quit which is weird because it's just a test. I don't know I love you off bro. Yeah Chris I know it's fun to pretend we're upset with friends of ours But I would say Chris's, the more I've gotten to know him. That's what's always a beautiful surprise.

When the more you get to know someone, it's not like you don't see their stuff and their baggage and their wounds and their anger and their lust and whatever else, because they're sharing it with you. What's a beautiful surprise is that when the more you get to know somebody, the more like respect you have for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Devanek is one of the most tender people. I don't know the last time you've seen him,

but I feel like every time I see him, he puts his hand behind my neck and says, I love you, dude. You're doing great. He's very encouraging. He's a good man. I feel like all I do is tease him. You know what I mean?

You gotta say what you did at the conference at... Oh yeah, we were at Hot Shot Conference. This conference in Napa was like, basically like a bunch of like, well to do... People that did well for themselves, you know, like, and some of them for just amazing reasons. And then there's people that are doing non work. And so it's a really cool chance for people to come together. So whatever. And it's a big event, right?

Like they've had big speakers, like, you've Shapiro's been there. Yeah, just really hot shot people. And I, and Chris had a table, the only table out of like 500 tables in Napa, dude, this is in Napa Valley, dude. It's like, you know, what you imagine Napa looking like. They're just white linens and grape vineyards

and people serving you. Sun setting. Yeah, yeah, just sun setting all day long. It's just beautiful. And he had a reserve table dude. That's how you know he's the creme de la creme dude. And so whenever no one was looking, I would take a sharpie and like, you know,

deface his like save reserved for Christophantic real life Catholic. And I would, you know, reserve for Matthew Kelly or like, you know, change his name or whatever. But then one of his like henchmen found me doing it one time and they're like, I'll be taking that. I'll be taking that. Easy.

I mean, tough guy. Totally fair. Yeah, totally, totally fair. 100% I mean, tough guy. Totally fair. Yeah, totally, totally fair. 100% he was in the right. Totally fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But funny nonetheless. Dude, I just don't think they're used to probably people defacing, you know, like other people's

name tags. But I think Chris thought it was funny. You know, I don't know. He never told me he thought it was funny, but I like to think he thinks it was funny. You know, I don't know. He never told me he thought it was funny, but I like to think he thinks it was. He's never held my neck and said, I love you. But I think he thinks it's funny. You wonder what it would have done to these people who were so gifted and are so gifted at giving addresses if they could have seen all of those comments, you know. On what? His name tag?

Like, no. Like YouTube comments? Yeah, like, YouTube comments are just like random thoughts that you have. Like, the worst part of yourself, it's like, why does that guy blink so much? Like, and then people think, well, I'm gonna tech, I'm gonna put that in, you know? Yeah, dude, it's like-

Why does that guy have wide hips? Like, oh, I'm gonna put that in, you know? It's like all of our unfiltered, awful thoughts just- Those were all from me, if someone put that during Matt's show Yeah, dude, it's it's the internet is it's it's honestly is very similar road rage I think because like the thing about road rage that was like yeah easy for it to happen to me was I felt anonymous You know yeah, I feel like when you're in a machine You know you're not just like in her like I never like, if I was walking in a mall,

be like, F you, to say, you know, someone like, you know, in the escalator next to me or something. But dude, I was just so quick. I mean, there's been times like, I got out of the car, you know, like one, it's just- Is it to calm down or? No, no, no, no, no, no. To escalate the interaction.

I told someone to pull over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just, I mean, just really out of my mind. But it's because there's something that takes a couple steps of the humanity away from it. And the internet does the same thing, dude. Like this thing like Yik Yak. Working out of college, I see like, you know, like there's these.

So it's this app that, it's used by a lot of young people, but it's an anonymous app that, it's used by a lot of young people, but like it's an anonymous app that like, you know, in any kind of form. So say you could say your staff gets on Yik Yak and they all post anonymous things about Matt. Dude, I hate the way Matt walks, you know, like, and you don't know who said it, but then, you know, you can anonymously be anonymous, I hate Thursday's haircut, whatever. And then there's just a list of all these anonymous horrible things and they're all anonymous. And so someone feels free to just be like, well, but this is just an extreme of YouTube comments.

Because you could just make a fake, I know people that have made fake accounts and they just go on and say, Matt Friday, so, and you're like, is that gonna be gratifying for you, like for the moment to like know that you might ruffle someone's feathers, but it just, it's because you've taken away all these human inner, like, you know, normal things that would be part of a human interaction. And I think it's a lot like road rage.

It just makes it easy to just be like, yeah, and you never feel, I I mean at least for me Like I always tell my wife like I have the worst combination of Like a quick violent temper and Super heavy conscience dude I feel so bad about later like here things have one time I was in student bill I was coming down the hill, and this guy was in the middle of the street, dude.

And this is something people do in Soonville a lot. I mean, you live where I used to live, and they'll get out, they'll be talking, or they don't care if you're behind them. That is frustrating. Or they'll walk real slow across the street. It's just like, there's just like this weird like kind of thing.

And this guy was in the middle of the street, couldn't get by him, and he was talking to his buddy, he was laughing and all this kind of thing and this guy was in the middle of stricken yep I mean he's talking to his buddy laughing and all this kind of stuff and finally I got out of the car I mean this is just again me being vulnerable okay but I was just like move your car you know and I said other words too but and and then he was like what you say and I was like move your car and and he and this is again the natural like virtue of another person that I would never have had but he he came back and he's like oh you got kids he's like that's fine we're cool and he moved he kept going all right and I this

is God humbling me sorry I leaned back I God humbling me I'm taking my family to a restaurant for dinner him and his buddies are going to the same restaurant, dude. So they pull into this restaurant and we all sit down and I was like, what are the chances, dude? They're going ahead of us, we sit down, and I was like, I am so embarrassed. Like, what in a jerk I am, dude. I just can't believe this.

And so I ended up paying for his bill, him and his buddies, dude. I told the wager that I Didn't like tell him that I wanted to like, you know make a big deal about it Yeah, but also I felt like I didn't want the gratification to be like wow Yeah, but I did go over to his table and I was like dude. I'm so sorry man I was like I got an anger problem and his two places so far. They're like to like man That was hilarious. You should have kicked his ass

Beat up this guy, you know, and I mean it, that was hilarious. You should have kicked his ass. They were telling me, I should have beat up this guy. You know, and I mean, it was, it was like a great like moment, but that's the the connection my whole life. And even with the going back to these comments, it's like you feel like at first, like, oh, this is going to make me feel awesome to belittle someone or to say this anonymously or just scream and let this out. And in reality, it's like, it doesn't help. Do you just feel like?

I certainly have struggled with anger. But I've never struggled with road rage. Like I, even last night I was driving back from that sushi place with Matt and Brittany and Cameron and someone was, I guess I may have cut someone off and they were beeping and very angry. I didn't care in the slightest. Like they may as well not have been beeping like, okay, well you'll be fine. Just either go around me or be upset. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

But I'm not, but I also struggle with anger sometimes. So did you ever get to the bottom of what that, where that came from? Yeah, I think, I mean, there's probably unresolved issues. You know, like, I definitely have done some counseling and I had this great counselor in town, Dr. Carl, this older guy, man, he was awesome. And he had me draw, he would always be like, you need to take notes, you know, and I would take notes and he had me, he was one day draw the Anger volcano.

And, he's like, are the things that that caused the anger volcano to explode and I was like dude hang on to every word I was like I gotta figure out how to draw this anger volcano would be one. I was like I have lava coming down and I'm like listen in. And the I don't remember what they all were. But the only one that I realized that was for me was the thing, you know, was like people not being,

I can't remember what it is, but my wife tells me all the time, you know, like she uses it against me, bro. Like, you know, like she'll be like, you remember what he said? Like, not everyone can be like you, you know? Like, but this is, this was like what I, it was like this person not like me, you know like it should be like you remember what he said like people not everyone could be like you you know Like but this is this was like what I was like this person not like me you know like that and it annoyed me so much like I couldn't believe that like

You know like why would this person do this like and there's just this sin it's it's super skewed But what it made leads me to believe is believe is like a grave injustice has been done. And the only person that will defend me is me. I see. And it's, so I know that's what it is. It doesn't always stop the trigger, but realizing the trigger for me has helped a lot. And when I came home that week after counseling,

I would always be telling my family, I'd be like, guys, I drew an anger volcano. Here's where we're at on that thing. And they'd all be laughing. You could use the anger volcano to threaten your children. Here's what's coming. No, no, no. Also because I wanted my kids to know, dude, dad's an idiot.

He's trying to work out his issues. I know there's times where I'm too angry with my kids. And there are times when my dad was way too angry with me. And that's, biologically, I'm too angry with my my kids and there are times my dad like it was way too angry with me You know like and that's biologically I know that's something like he's passed on You know, but that was a big wound in my life, you know, like so like I think I Want to be better than that, you know, so I the only way I know it'd be better than that is to just say like well I know this is a problem and say sorry when I messed up and that is the biggest thing. I think yeah It's hard because my dad would blow his fuse a lot and I think the times he apologized

It was I could maybe hear my mom talking him into it. Like you need to go and say you're sorry Gary But whenever he did it and he meant it it just felt like I think we're great Like it did reconcile that thing and maybe as a father he would have thought okay I've caused an unbridgeable rift here, but the times he would come in and say I'm sorry, but okay like we're all good Mmm. Yeah, I mean it takes a lot dude. There's just there's something about I mean I guess depends on the relationship with your dad but for like yeah to see a dad humble himself, you know a dad just I think for so much of your life seems Untied like the alpha no matter what dude. I remember one time like I This is so funny

But I remember one time when my two oldest kids Christian and Toby like they were little like, you know basically My first three kids were all the same age that we had like kids like, you know It was like 15 months apart and so like I don't know They're probably nine and ten years old but I came into the room with TV was and they were watching world's strongest man that was like something I would like we would love to watch you know like and all like things from like the 80s or whatever you know like these guys like bending bars or like pulling a truck or you know like things and I came in and

and Toby was like dad you He's a Christian Christian said that That these these guys are stronger than you You know, and I just thought it was so funny that like he Believed he really believed that like maybe I was stronger you know, but there's just this part of you that your dad is just The the baddest dude in town, no matter what dude. You know what I mean?

It's not if you, because I had tattoos or something, you know what I mean? Or if your dad is this or that, your dad could be a four foot, 90 pound chemist. And there's just something, I think, within you that is programmed to be like, my dad is the baddest dude in town, you know, and to see like when the rare times when you see a dad humble himself, I do think it's like you're like, wow. I think one of the difficult things about apologizing after you've corrected too harshly or you've blown up is it's you think that in apologizing, I'm also acknowledging that you did nothing wrong here. But like, so you're trying to you're trying to say sorry for what you did without undoing the thing they may have legitimately done.

That was an injustice to the family. Right. Yeah, that's true in my relationship with my wife. Yeah. You know, like we're both at fault. Yeah, Yeah. And then I'll, and then I'll lose it. And then it becomes all about how I lost it instead of like, we could have actually just resolved this like normal people. Totally. The best advice I ever get marriage wise I ever got was from my,

uh, my stepdad. Like, uh, and he said, uh, it was cool. Like he took me out the morning of my wedding and we were just in the, and he said, it was cool, he took me out the morning of my wedding, we were just in the car, and he was like, I wanted to give you some advice, and he was like, he had been married twice before that, his one wife died, he had been through some difficult things, and he was like, best advice I can give you is, it doesn't matter who's right.

And there's a party, I just celebrated my 23 year wedding anniversary on Saturday and there's a part of you that you're like, no it does matter. You know, like in this situation, we've been down this road so many times, I'm right, you know, like why in the hell am I gonna say like, sorry, you know, like I wanna be like, I've gotta get this right so you don't do this again.

And it's just like There's probably part of that that's true with every interaction but with our kids even like it's just like it doesn't matter There's like something there and like it's more important that they get the tenderness or the Humility then they're not gonna remember who was right They're just gonna remember there was a moment that dad was tender and humble and you know, like I can remember who was right. They're just gonna remember there was a moment that dad was tender and humble and you know, like But in the same way is with your spouse, you know, you don't remember what fights are about. But yeah, that's true Yeah, I've been thinking of this lately. I wonder what you think that we as parents

I think I said this to you the other day, but we seek to We don't want our children to have the same problems we had and that becomes the litmus test of whether I'm doing a good job as a parent or not. Totally. Do you, can you think of something that maybe your parents did or didn't do that you were like, that's just not going to happen here. Yeah. Yeah. But then that kind of blinds you to all the other things. Totally. Yeah. So I had this like, and I know you can relate to this cause we've talked about it before, but I went to this conference once

with this generational expert. I wish I could remember her name because she was really phenomenal. But basically the whole thing was her talking about going through the generations. What are the hallmarks? What are the things that this generation is known for? What do they get right?

What do they get wrong? But the biggest takeaway I took from it was every generation gets some things wrong. And most of the time it's pretty exaggerated what they get wrong. And then what happens is the next generation, the pendulum swings back. And like the good thing is that's hopeful. You know what I mean?

Because you think now, for instance, I feel like this is the age where I could think of my parents being like, your generation's the worst. Do you know what you're doing? We never had this problem. And now at 45, you're like, that I could think of that, I feel the same way. You start to think like, man, I feel so down about this

and this and this and culture and, you know, but the nice thing is like what she says, and this is just not on a religious level, this is on just like cultural examination is that generations tend to swing the pendulum back. So, you know, like the example she gave was like, you know, we had this pure tinnistic time in the 40s and 50s Which I think a lot of times we tend to I was I don't ask yeah Oh, this is the best dude We just did everything perfect and we said everything in Latin and oatmeal and jean skirts to the floor were Normal it was all good. And yeah, and now it's like, you know

Everything right over there boys Sorry, look, there was a fire over to the right of me and now You know like or the next thing that happened after that was like the sexual revolution It was like the pendulum swung so far the other way which if like, you know you I went to the theologian body and Sue with Christopher West, and he makes this point that during that time, as messed up as some of that was, and as it opened the gates for some of this time, he was also saying during this time, JP II was formulating, not because of the sexual revolution, but in response, I think, to some of the things we are getting wrong, this theology of the body, this understanding that sexuality isn't bad, that the body isn't bad. And so, like, there's this kind of nudge.

So for us, for instance, for Generation X, you know, you think of all the music and the TV show or the movies when we were kids is like Will Smith, Parents Just Don't Understand, Ferris Bueller's, like, the theme feeling was always like our parents don't get it yeah you know heavy metal is an example right we're right my son I even tried to play some heavy metal to my son and he's like why they just sound like they're angry like of course our parents didn't care about us and so and even that was like in response to their generation but so for, we always rail now against like, I can't believe that there's these helicopter parents, these snowplow parents that they just hover over every move and they

go to their kids' sporting practices to watch and they go to this and that and they call the teacher whenever their kid felt their feelings were hurt or everyone gets a trophy. All these like hover, like that's a response to what we grew up as thinking our parents don't understand us, they don't care, they only care about work, they just abandon us to the TV and they know that we're just latchkey kids. That was our generation.

And so our response, again, could be incorrect, but that swung the other way is just we're gonna take care of every issue our kids have and we're gonna be at everything our kids ever had I wonder what the next generation what are what our how our kids will pay I know But there's some there's some hope because on some naturalistic level there's some self-correction. There's overcorrection You know, I mean, but like I I don't know so I don't even know why how we got on this topic But like to me there. Oh, I know what you said. Like have you ever had that experience?

so for me, I feel like as parents, you know, like When you start dealing with you know, internet pornography phones, you know, there's all these different addictions How are we gonna raise our kids? How are we gonna avoid that? And in my mind? I kept thinking dude if I could raise my kids like it's 1992, if I could, and honestly, this goes beyond pop culture or, you know, technology or whatever. I just thought even with their spirituality, like if I can give them the exact experience I had, if I can send them to, you know, some kind of a Christian camp when they were kids, if I could send them to a student-ville conference when they're this age, if they could be a part of a youth

group. Don't have an experience in adoration. Exactly, exactly, the same thing I had. And the reality is it's just, it's not that, you know? And so even with the cultural part of it, like what was really frustrating to me is I thought, if I could raise them like it's 1992, they will avoid all the pitfalls that these other idiot parents are doing

by giving their kids a phone and fifth grade or they're four years old or whatever you know and so especially my first three kids I was really hard I would never I wouldn't even let them hold a phone do until they were 16 you know and it didn't really help you know you know I'm saying like they I'm not saying like it's to the same extent. You know, we had open conversations about sin, about the, you know, there's different pitfalls, all this kind of stuff.

But like, did it sidestep culture? No. And the reason why I think it's, and this is what I got from that generational expert was, it's really hard to sidestep a tidal wave. You know, cultural is a tidal wave. It's like a tidal wave. And so you're like, oh, well just step over here.

And it's just like, and the prime example of this to me, I thought about it in my own life is like, there's certain songs, whether it's like a blasphemous horrible song, or even just a really stupid corny song that I would never listen to. How do I know all the words of the song? It's just because when I'm in a department stupid, corny song that I would never listen to, how do I know all the words of this song? It's just because when I'm in a department store,

when I'm in an elevator, when I'm walking, these songs are playing. And you just, they permeate. So it's like culture is very permeable. And I just think it's really hard to just be like, and we're gonna sidestep all that. Unless you're Amish, or live underground, it's really hard to totally do it. So I feel like at a time that I've failed,

and I don't know if it's any fault of my own, it's just like, I didn't know what to do. And what we did, I feel like, I hope there's a time where my kids are like, oh, thanks for doing this, or thanks for making these rules, you know? But now, even with my kids that are still home, like, they complain about the rules the same way the older kids did.

I try and modify some stuff when I realize, you know, I was wrong, but it's just, it's really difficult to, you know, fight against the tidal wave. No, that's excellent. It's right. It's I don't know. I don't know if a young parent can hear that Hmm cuz I wouldn't have been able to hear that because you feel like there's no hope you're like nothing you do is gonna matter That's not what I'm saying. It's not it's not just that but I think that When you're a parent of little children you really have full control over their lives. And so when you have full control over your children's lives

and someone says, look, obviously rules are good, obviously boundaries are good, I'm not denying any of that, but it's gonna get a lot more complex than you think it is, it's hard to hear it until you've had to live through it. Totally. I mean, I remember when we were on our engaged encounter, this is something we had to do in diocese here. There was a time where there, you know,

this couple gets up, they're, you know, 80 years old, and they're like, there were tough times in our marriage, you know, and you'll go through and you'll get through because the Lord is good or whatever. And then you go and you journal about it. And, you know, we're like, oh, I mean, it might be true for them, but we're gonna be just fine. Because we just wanna make out all the time.

There's like this part of you that thinks like, not us, not us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the exception. And you realize like, dude, it's just life is messy. So I just got done this past semester taking a class, a grad class, which I'll never do again. But it was on RCIA.

And Scott Solem, like he said in this thing, like the number, the one and two things about conversion, and he's talking about RCIA, but really it's good about any conversion is like it's slow and in stages. And I think in stages could be more and vernacular, just messy. It's slow and it's messy.

And it's just like, this is true. It doesn't matter if you do marriage right. It doesn't matter if you do parenting right. It's just, it's messy and it's hard. And there's parts where you have to make corrections and there's parts where you have to admit defeat and you know, I think as a young person, you just wanna be like, well, if we just, you know,

bust our ass and pray a ton and you know, burn all technology, we'll be just fine. It's just not that simple. I think what makes it difficult too, is I think as a young married couple, I'll use myself as an example. If you had have said all of these things, I would went, absolutely. That's what makes it difficult. It's when you think you know something. Right, right, right, right. And then you think, well, because I know that then everything will be fine.

Yeah. It's like, no, no, you don't know it and it won't be fine. Yeah, it is really hard. But, it's like no, no, you don't know and it won't be fine. Yeah It is really hard but I think like for me like one of the things I think of like that give hope and you know I don't know like for the married couples that like we're closer with that are younger than us We got a great couple that every Friday we get together Gabe and Sarah then and and Like we just have time talking together about our marriages, talking about...

Like, it's really helpful sometimes to them to be like, we just had the worst fight in your driveway, you know? But there's something that's really cool, I think, about this hope that you find from... So for me, I can think of some older men, some marriages of people in my life that... Guy last night, I was there, the farmer lives next door to me. I was over there welding something in his garage, you know, like, and I was like, yeah, art, you know,

23 years this Saturday, we just celebrated our 23rd anniversary and he's like, 23 years? He's like, that's nothing, you know, and I was like, how many years for you? He's like, 58, you know, and you just think like, yeah dude, you know, but it's like, there's hope that I think comes from like, how many years for you? He was like, 58. And you just think like, yeah dude. But it's like, there's hope that I think comes from, you see these people have lived through tough times. And they've had tough times in their marriage.

They've had hard things with their children. That to me, I feel like in the beginning of my marriage, I feel like that was really fearful to admit we'd ever have a hard time. We'd ever have a struggle with a kid We'd ever get something wrong You know, but now I feel like it's really hopeful as you see like no they they weathered the storm Yeah, you know like it's possible to weather the storm

It's possible to to have a good and I'll tell you like I have like college kids you know, I work at Franciscan and I have college kids tell me all the time they're like I I kind of never wanted to get married and then this isn't like like You know like bragging about my marriage. I have a great great marriage, you know but like I have kids are like I I never saw a marriage that like seemed Real and seemed like something that like gave me hope

I in fact I never wanted to get married because I had a weird experience with my parents who maybe are still together, but kind of hate each other or kind of like, whatever. But then they're like, but seeing you guys, I know that not everything's perfect, but you guys really treasure each other as friends. You really push for holiness above everything else.

And it looks really, um, attractive, like the way you, your marriage is, you know, and like, so there's something about that, that I feel like I have those couples in my life, you know, and that gives me a ton of hope. You know, I also think one thing that's changed in for me is when my kids are really little, I probably would have said something like, I don't know who my kids are going to marry. Like I'm terrified.

I'm not terrified. There are so many good men that I encounter here at Franciscan and elsewhere who just like the rest of us have their own sins and addictions maybe and wounds and stuff, but I'm not afraid. I mean, talk to me in three years when my kids get older, but I can't know what I don't know. Yeah. No, no, no, man. It's, it's, it's, uh, that's it. That is a frightening thing. You know, I think like is, is who's gonna, yeah, who's, who's going to be the person that's responsible for the kids. So there's, there's cause, there are legitimate causes for fear, but they're also illegitimate causes for fear and trying to distinguish between those two. Like for me, I've shared this on a previous episode,

but the litmus test for me is like whether my kids see porn or not, because that was the biggest wound in my life. And so it was like that will not happen to my kids. And that blinded me to like being a dad in other areas and being tender in other areas. It's like, no, if all I do is get them to say 16 before they see porn, that's all that matters.

Nothing else matters. And I wouldn't have framed it like that, that I can, and obviously you don't 16 before they see porn. That's all that matters. Nothing else matters. And I wouldn't have framed it like that, that I can, and obviously you don't want you can see porn. You gotta have these follow ups, because people are like, are you saying it's okay? No. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, yeah.

But it also gives you, and your wife said something to me when we were sitting around at your property. It's funny, she was talking about this last night. Was she? Yeah. Do you know what I'm about to say? Yeah, she, I mean, and you might be able to she well

She looked at me and she said that she she realized one day Like her fear was that you or the kids would look at porn or something like that And she said I realized like God is bigger than porn. Mm-hmm, which is it might sound like a cliche, but it's exactly right Yeah, well, it's it's one of those things where you see someone who's like your hero or something. And I think of a marriage, you know, they're like, yeah, and we actually, our first kid like we had before we were married.

You're like, what? I mean, it's just things that you think like, oh, if my kid were pregnant outside of marriage. I'd be so ashamed. Like you just think that there's things that are impossible to come back. And pornography is a great example just because again like working with

the college students man, this is like a scourge on their generation and they Hate themselves because of it, you know me but like the good news is is like no no. No, this is not a game over you know, sign. You know, this is just like, this is a cry for help. This is the, you know, saying that we need a savior, but like, it really is hard, I think, like when we have certain things

and we're like, this means game over. It's really helpful to me to remember that, like, you know. And honestly, it's helpful for me to remind myself that there are things, like I look at my past in a rosy colored glasses, like, oh, why had this thing happen at a conference? And I was praying, I was closer to Jesus. It's just like, yeah, but there are some other things I was doing that were like, there were some major disconnects.

And so I think it's like, yeah, it's definitely helpful, I think, to remind yourself that like, dude, there's nothing that cannot be overcome, defeated by Christ, you know? So what did your wife say last night? Was that what you remember? So we were talking about this today and I was like, Matt probably has nothing prepared. You were right. No, we were just talking about things for today. I don't know how pornography and some of that stuff came up, but she's like, I remember a really good conversation I had with Matt, just saying, look, at some point, you've got

to let that go. Not meaning you don't fight against pornography. But I think what the impetus was like, there were like, I don't know, a couple times, like the first time my kids came over, you had asked us, which is awesome, do they have any access to the internet, is there access to pornography, do your kids have fun? You know, things that you wanna know, which is.

Sorry if I asked that too abrasively. No, no, no, not at all, not at all. But you know what I mean, but I think a couple times later, you start to realize, no dude, this is important to us, but I think Kate saw something in you that she really related to, was this fear of sinking your battleship. Dude, even if somehow this cre of like, you know, sinking your battleship. Like, dude, even if somehow this crept in, somehow this gets in, it's not game over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it will be well. Yeah. No, I really appreciated that. That actually meant a lot. It's funny how things form you and you don't realize they're doing that at the moment. Like we were just having a beer on your property and she said that.

And there was something in me that went, oh, I just took a breath. Yeah. I mean, thank God for friends that you could be vulnerable with. And, you know, like, I agree. Like, that's that's a huge blessing, man. Like when when you're in the midst of the battle, you know, it's really. I think for my dad, like, it was just so important that I got good grades so I could be successful and by successful, he probably just meant able to take care of your family and live a decent life.

And I don't know where that and that's a legitimate thing to want. But it felt like it was damaging our relationship. And what's funny is if I could go back and as a nine year old kid who feels terrified because I'm crap at math and I hate school and the only thing I know how to do at school is to try to be funny because I get attention and I like attention and I feel ashamed about that. Right. But if I could have gone back and went there, listen, it's all going to be okay because I'm going to be living in the States and I'm

going to be running a podcast on this thing called the Internet. Like he couldn't have conceived it. Yeah. And I can't and you can't conceive what might be available for our children. Yeah, it's really hard not. And that doesn't mean don't be vigilant about them not seeing porn. It doesn't mean don't be concerned about them getting good grades or studying. But yeah, man, it sure is hard as your kids get older to just, you know, like the parenting part of you never goes away.

And like, you know, you just like, I want to come up with a plan. Like, what if you do this and this and you know, OK, you're facing a hardship. Like, what about this? You know, like, and we're definitely not helicopter parents. Like, you know, my kids, I wouldn't care if a teacher sent home a note that was a total lie that said, like, your kid is ugly. I'd be like, you're gonna go to school tomorrow

and tell them you are ugly. You know, like, I just, if they work so hard to not be a helicopter parent, then I feel like I tend towards, like, the, like, no, you gotta, like, grow some teeth. You know, like, cut your teeth kind of thing. But, you know, there is a part of you that always wants to be like,

well, yeah, what if I come up with some kind of plan and all, you know, but that is like something like in my prayer that like lately, it felt like, man, it's really helpful to me to realize, I don't gotta come up with a plan. I don't have to, you know, like so with vagabond Ministers that you know, it's not probably me. Yeah, give that a shout out just so people know what it is Yeah, so vagabond missions is a it's a ministry inner city kids

You know like we're in a bunch of different cities around the country and we it's a missionary organization We have missionaries living with the people they serve and... Could you put a link in the description? Get on that Thursday. Thank you, Thursday. What mom names her kid Thursday? Her name was Friday. But anyway, like with that, like, you know, there's a part of it that's, you know,

so there's a time where I stepped away, I'm still really a part of it, but I stepped away from leading it to be a Franciscan and there's a part of you that's like, well, I gotta run this, man, or like, and I gotta make sure this keeps working and I gotta make sure this, and there's something about it that,

where you're like, I have to make sure it works and I have to save these kids and I have to be a quality control and do this. And you know, and then you realize like, wait a second, man, like, this is God's mission. This is God's ministry. You know, I don't need to be the thing that saves us that runs it, that whatever. And in a lot of ways, it's way better today than when it was when I led it. But you know, like the same is true with my kids. Like I think, man, in an effort to,

I wanna be a good dad and I wanna, and I'm like this, I feel like a lot of times, like when it comes to, you know, me and God and praying for someone, I'm just kinda like, well, I'm gonna pray for that person, but I'm also gonna plan everything that I can to like give them success and make sure there's, you know, and there's something that's really scary, but also like really, it gives me a lot of peace

to just be like, I, they're not mine to say, like even my kids, it's one thing when you're talking about a company and mission, you know, but even when your kids are like, there's a guy in town here, Mike Hummel, that one time like he was, they've got a whole bunch of kids and there's a time where we were like, dude, what do you do? I mean, you're so worried. There had to be times when you were so worried about these kids. And he was like, all I do is I just get up in the morning and say, I consecrate them

to you, God, and just hope that was enough. And so there's something about that that is really freeing to be like, they're not even my kids to to save, to find a way. I don't need to come up with a plan for their life. You know, like God is is is bigger than me. And I think what's interesting is as you let go of that unhealthy control, like you actually end up becoming a better parent. Right. Because you just take a breath and then you're more present and you're more caring and more understanding and you're more interested and you want to know

what's going on and you're not terrified. So the very thing you think you're going to lose by kind of letting a bit of control go the opposite. Yeah. There's like a false responsibility that's removed is, is, um, you know, like the, yes, you're responsible as a parent, especially when they're in their Yeah, there's like a false responsibility that's removed. Yes, you're responsible as a parent, especially when they're little, to care for their every need, physical, moral, all these things, but as they get older,

the false responsibility is like, I still need to care for every need. And when you remove that, like you said, it not only is freeing, but it allows you to be more present to them, it allows you to be, you know, I just was reading, I mentioned to you earlier, the great divorce again, and there's a part in there where there's a parent

who can't fathom the idea of being in heaven with her son and not providing for all his needs. She has a hard time realizing that God will satisfy her needs. She wants to be the person, the vehicle that satisfies all her son's needs. And would actually, she says in the end, basically she'd rather her son be with her in hell, where she would be the provider, than to be in heaven where God is provider. And it's just like, that's a real temptation as a parent, to want to be in heaven where God's his provider. And it's just like that. That's a real temptation as a parent, you know, to want to be needed, to want to come up with every plan. And how do parents and how have you dealt with maybe seeing things in your children's life that you wish

had have gone better or you wish were going better? Like where do you draw the line between, yeah, maybe I was to blame for that. I need to repent of things. And I actually could have done things better because you also don't want to kind of just pretend you, you did everything right and therefore have no responsibility because after all, I'm just abandoning these children to God every day because they're not meant to save. But then there's also the very fact that even if you and Kate were Jesus Christ and the

blessed Virgin Mary, like, I mean, Adam and Eve had the perfect parent. It's often said, and look what they did. Right. So how do you draw that line? Or is that even useful doing that? Or yeah, I mean, I think like for me, I mean, everyone's different, but like I'm, I'm a morning person. I get up in the morning. I love getting up early, um, before my family's up and like praying for them that it gives me a ton of peace

You know just like it what time do you get up 530? Wow, I just the morning guy though, man I feel really awesome. I'm I'm a morning guy, too Okay. Yeah, I just you have to intentionally go to bed early or do you does your body just shut down? Yeah, I mean dude my kids will want to watch something and I'll sit down I mean I fall so I start falling bit like that. I mean, dude, my kids will want to watch something and I'll sit down. I mean, I'll start falling asleep around, you know, eight, you know. So I feel like, and me and Kate will watch something a bit a lot of times. I mean, but most nights I'm to bed between nine and 10, you know.

But that's the time of the day where I just feel the most like myself, you know. And I heard someone say once, you know, best time to pray is when you can give God the most, you know, the best version of yourself. So for me, the morning, I just feel alive, I feel happy, I feel optimistic, I feel hopeful, you know? By sunset, man, things are a little different but you know anyway in that time like there's there's an image like I've had before of you know kind of like a Like a man walking his part like so there was one time we got robbed

and Not not where we live now, but when we live by you and It was like it was just a wild experience There's lots of times like you know little thing petty that you know someone stole my trash cans once I mean just the stupid they must have needed I mean you're just like well all right but there was one time the craziest thing my wife is actually

sleeping on the couch because I was snoring or something this guy came in stole the TV off the wall in the room she was in stole a bunch of yeah a ton of stuff but that's morning when I woke up and I was like did you move the TV you know please say you're all night you know like someone got stole TV it took my weirdo filled it with stuff and you know whatever thank God we're all right but the next day I mean dude I was so like I you know I have to defend my family it's like in home alone like I have to defend this family. And it's like, in Home Alone, I have to defend this property.

And so I slept on the couch downstairs with a shotgun, just like praying, like, please let this guy come back. And just, yeah, I don't have to kill him, dude. Just let me shoot him in the knee. And just, there was a part of you that just wants to defend your family. And so I've had this image since then of just waking up in the morning and

just kind of like, like walking my house, you know, like kind of swinging some spiritual numptucks, you know, just like bring it on. Like I'm going to cover my family in prayer. I'm going to lift them up to the Lord before anything could face them today. And it's kind of goes back back to that guy I said, Mike, you know, like there's a piece there of just saying like, I surrender. I surrender him to you today.

I don't have what it takes to be the perfect parent today, but I'm gonna surrender him to you, ask you to cover him, ask you to defend him, help me be a good dad today. But you know, that gives me a lot of peace. You. But that gives me a lot of peace. It gives me a lot of hope. Just this morning I was praying about, I've been getting into imaginative prayer. I used this thing earlier with Father Timothy Gallagher, and I had never done that before. I saw that you did a podcast about it because it was cool. I started looking

up other resources. Was that with hello or it was with hello. Yeah. Yeah. So father, Timothy Gallagher did, did this. Um, he takes you through the nature's exercises. Can I be cheesy and say we need to do an ad for hello. So can we do that now? Totally. Totally. Hello.com slash Matt Fred. If you go to that URL and sign up there,

you'll get three months for free and you can try out everything that's on the app for three months before even having to pay a cent. If you don't like it after three months, you can cancel. I have it. My wife has it. There's a ton of great things like Dr. Bob shoots and system Miriam James do these healing courses. They have audio books. They have people like Mark Wahlberg leading the rosary. They have a Jonathan Rumi leading the rosary. So if you're trying to get more consistent, cool day doing morning prayer. I mean, there's all kinds of I don't even know who that is. It's a joke. They have sleep stories.

They have like Bible stories. I did this with my kid the other night. He didn't want to go to bed. I hear we'll just we'll play the gospel of John. So he was asleep and I played the gospel of John on my phone, turned it off and put it on the ledge above where he was sleeping. It's really great. So you have awesome. So I actually Called them because I did this leaders retreat and I just Me and Gabe who I work with just did in the summer the Ignatius exercises where we did the the morning prayer and the great

thing about it man is like he He not only teaches you how to do imaginative prayer, but he also like teaches you like, ah, here's kind of the mindset, here's what you should do before you fall asleep, you're going to pray in the morning. Like, just, it really gets you into it. And I got into it this summer, and I don't know why I've never done that before. Like, it probably seemed cheesy or like abstract to me. And even though I am cheesy and abstract, I like, I don't know why I never did it before. But one of the first things he does in there is

takes you through this imaginative prayer with the Nativity. And I had a powerful experience this summer in doing that. I was just praying with it this morning and having this experience of Mary handing you Jesus, the Christ child, letting you hold him for a minute, as a shepherd or whatever he was imagining. But then I had this thought of handing Jesus to each of my kids, letting them hold him for a minute, you know? And it's just such a wild image of just being saved, being redeemed just by, like, holding this baby, this Christ child near me, you know, and then just Him being near my kid,

each of my kids for a minute. Like there's something about that, like, to me that gives me a ton of peace, you know, and a ton of joy of just like, you know what, like, me, that gives me a ton of peace and a ton of joy of just like, you know what, like you will redeem them. I don't need... And you hear this all the time when you're doing evangelization or you're speaking or some people are like, you're not the one that's converting hearts or you're just the messenger or something.

And there's a part of you like, yeah, yeah, but I better give a freaking good talk that I better... But there's a part of you, like even as a parent, I think that you're like, I know, I know God's their freaking good talk that I better you know Yeah, and and but there's a part of you like even as a parent I think you're like I know I know God's there their father and all that kind of stuff But there there is the more I feel like you can realize like your role is Relatively small is good and and and I was gonna share this when you were talking about that, too This is giving me a lot of hope like working with these these teens and vagabond missions. Yeah This has given me a lot of hope, like working with these teens in Vagabond missions

in the inner city, and not all of them, but a lot of them, like I could call to mind some teens that have had some really bad dads, some really absentee dads, and the way they talk about their father, even honestly the way they talk about either their parents sometimes, where they'll be like, yeah, my dad was a crack head, or like, yeah, my dad, he hasn't been around.

But the couple times I've spent with him, he's, you know, the way that they love their parent, or the way that God has been able to work miracles in their life, regardless of the complete absenteeism of some of their parents or even the neglect or abuse even of some of their parents make me think like, damn dude, I'm trying pretty freaking hard. If they're going to be okay with that, I'm going to be all right. I always go back to with Vagabond, like this has been like influential my life is just that Paschal mystery, you know like from death life, you know, like resurrection is just dude

If if if like we're at this point where you're like dude, I'm trying I'm blood-sweating tears here You know like you can be alright, man, you know And then just I want people to know that they could become missionaries with vagabond if there's anyone out there between what ages what's the... Yeah I mean we don't really put that we've had people anywhere from like a gap year after high school you know all the way up to you know our age give a year two three ten you know years and it really is it's it's an amazing like opportunity I feel like to kind of push all your chips to the middle, just to make a poker analogy, you know,

and just be like, hey, I feel like we don't have many of those in the modern world, you know? Like we read about these stories where Peter's like, he left his boat, or these people are like, Jesus, just come follow me right now, don't worry about them, or don't worry about your job. And we don't have too many opportunities like this, but I feel like it's one of those opportunities

where you're just like, yeah. And probably the most standard age that we get is right after college. And I always say, man, you do have this wild window right after college where, even thinking about this, I got married the night I graduated, dude. And I had the day before. The night you graduated.

Yeah, so the night before, or the afternoon before my, I got married, I had a final. And the next day I got married, nine months, and one day later we had our daughter. But even with that, dude, you know, like there's this time in your life where you're like, I'm not settling into all these payments and I don't have all these plans and things

that I'm like, you know, like linked to. And there's this great gift you have as a young person like in that window of life where you're just like, you can throw caution to the wind and be like, I am gonna do something wild. And it's a small window and it passes quick. And then you're like, well, I got mortgage payments and I got eight kids and I got this and I got a promotion to think of or this or that.

But you have this one crazy opportunity to just throw caution in the wind and be like, I am going to just follow Christ. And it's going to seem crazy and some of my family might not like it and it might not be like the best career move. But the thing that we found is like these missionaries that end up like serving us, like they have perspective in their marriage and their jobs and their life like for the rest of their time on Earth

that like changes everything. And it really is like a, it's a pretty cool time I feel like to give it a go. What's the URL? What is a URL? What is the URL? I have no clue, Vagabondmissions.com. Vagabondmissions.com.

Vagabondmissions.com, and they can apply there. I was trying to think if there was something more complicated to the URL. I was like, sweating, like, what's the URL again? So they can apply there. Yeah, if you go to vagabondmissions.com. I'm sure you get teens and young adults who come in and what they're thrown into is completely different

to how they were raised. Kind of like how you were raised in a suburb of Philadelphia. That must be a very awkward transition. It reminds me of Mike Gormley, a friend of ours who runs the podcast Catching Foxes with Luke. He started, bless him, doing prison prison ministry and he was really nervous about kind of going in and giving a talk to these inmates.

And apparently the fellow who introduced Mike to give the talks like now be kind of Mike, he's really nervous about being here. I was like, no, but it's just so different. He's a big dork. So let's just go easy on him. So what was that? What is that like for kids who come from white? Yeah, yeah, to be honest. So like we got it. We do have a good cultural mix.

Like we got good kind of just about every cultural represented, every cultural represented. Because like in different parts of the country, there's different some some of those areas are there. There have been as a part of Queensburg where it was white Irish kids, you know, that we were dealing with. There's parts of Wichita that are only Spanish speaking, you know what I mean? So, like, there's parts that are primarily black, you know, and also lots of different cultures and we do, we are blessed with having lots of different ethnicities, but like that experience of, yeah, feeling like, oh, I'm experience of feeling like, oh, I'm ill equipped, whether I was a white or black or Korean or whatever, I did not grow up

in what they grew up in. And the worst thing you could do is just pretend. It's just to be like, yeah, man, I listen to rap or I do this or what. They don't want the fakeness. But more than anything, like when we do our interviews, you know, some of the best missionaries we've had are missionaries that I think like,

and I think the same thing with volunteers, like there's sometimes we get a volunteer and I'm just like, man, I cannot, I don't know why this person's volunteering. I cannot imagine like they're going to go over great. And then they end up being awesome. Like, you know, they're just some weird engineer dad, you know, older person. And they just, but like the main thing I feel like everyone wants, I was going,

I was going to say that these, these teens want these young people want, but really it's all of us. You just want someone to notice you, to love you. So I always be like, look, if you have a relationship with Christ and you're willing to love these young people, he'll do fine. I remember, like I said, with Net Ministries, which is a ministry to high school students who travel around, lead high school retreats. And there was a girl with us who was just so afraid that she was in the wrong place. She's like, these people are far more enthusiastic, extroverted, talented

than I am. And one of the talks was like, really, what you need to do is to love these teens. And she had this epiphany, which was like, I can definitely do that. That's it. Yeah. And that's honestly, like, it changed my life in the sense that when we started doing this ministry in New York, we were crying, we didn't want to do it. It was something that we're like, dude, it wasn't what I thought we were getting into. I feel like the Lord kind of suckered us into it. But the thing that changed everything was, I think this idea of evangelism, I think when I was in college or something, or even so many times I talked to my mom's friends.

People like, they'd be like, oh, what's Scott Hahn? And dude, Scott Hahn is awesome. But we're not all called to be Scott Hahn. You don't have to be able to quote the Lamb's Supper or know exegetical principles in order to evangelize someone, in order to bring someone into an encounter with Christ. It's actually probably more helpful not to get into that, you know what I mean? Because the things that when we send new missionaries into a city, you know there's all the times we were open to,

like we just opened in Philadelphia. And like, you know, like man, one of the first things to do is just like get to know people in the city, walk around the streets a bunch, you know, get to know the shop owners and like, you know, one of the first things we always do is just like grill. Like we just grill on the sidewalk and give a hot dog to anyone who's come by, Don't matter what their age is, why they're,

you know, what are you doing this for? How much are they? You know, nothing man. Yeah, but what do you really want? Really nothing. But there is something about that I feel like, yeah, if you realize man, you know what? People respond best to love. People respond best to friends. Like, you're like, well, apologetics might not always work, you know, or this method might not always work. Door to door might not always work. Net might not always work.

You know, retreat might not always work. But you know what always works? Friendship. You know, it's just like there's never been a time where we've been like, man, we've been trying friendship here in Oklahoma City and it's just not working here. You know, it's just like, no, dude, friendship works with everyone because that's like a, it's

a human need. And so combining that, I feel like all of a sudden there's a really beautiful freedom in being like, yeah, I don't have to be Scotland. I don't have to be my frat. I just could grill hot dogs and hang out with people. And in the context of that, God can begin something amazing, you know That's really great. Yeah, that's I didn't know that you were upset about having to start this ministry or at least conflict Yeah, I mean super conflicted man

when we I remember this one time when I was when we had first started Kate was pregnant with one of our first couple kids and It's like man. I felt like she was like always pregnant. I would say she was either pregnant or pregnant. Or like pregnant or waiting to get pregnant. And so she was pregnant, very pregnant. And I was in Atlanta doing some ministry down there for something and she called me one night, she was supposed to be leading a Bible study.

And she's like, we were just about to start faith night, that's what we called it. And she's like, there's these two vans here. Just, they're just putting all the kids into the van, like police vans. They're just loading them in like paddy wagons, you know, like just a wreck. Cause it was just these two groups of kids to fight. And, and, you know, and I came back and we were just like, you know, like, why are we doing this? This isn't what we wanted. This isn't what, you know, like we were hoping for our life. And, you know, it was kind of like one of those like moments where you could

really walk away and be like, no, or you could be like, maybe there's something here. Like, maybe God knows us better than we know us or maybe God has- Yeah, I could see myself saying like, this is important work, but I have to put my wife first. I have to put my family first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Deal with that. Yeah, totally. And thank God I have such a holy risk-taking wife.

I feel like I could have had a wife. Yeah, right. They could have just been like, no, dude, that's bizarre. That's weird. I feel like most of the ideas in my life, now not all of them, thank God, but I feel like when I have a weird idea, most of the time my wife's like, all right, let's try it. And know what I mean? And occasionally I'd be like, no, we're not doing

that, you know, but it was one of those moments where I felt like we're either gonna embrace this or we're not, and it was at that time I felt like we're like, dude, this is what, we want to be a part of this somehow for the rest of our life, and that's, yeah, when Vagabond started, but yeah, it was definitely, you know, that scripture, like you duped me, that I let myself be duped. That's totally how I felt. Like, you know, it's just like, the Lord tricked me,

but like, I kinda wanted to be tricked. You know, like I didn't wanna live just a lame normal existence, you know, just, you know, but I kind of felt like, well, that's what I should do. You know, and I should have this kind of a life and this kind of a family. But it was like all along, like the Lord knew, like I kind of wanted to be duped, you know? Yeah. What is a glory story from your ministry? What is something that's perhaps happened recently or something that stands out where you were like, wow, the Lord really used us to bring

about this good thing? Gosh, there's a lot. I mean, one of the ones that I feel like is kind of cool, maybe to share, because it's a full circle story from what we were just talking about. So when we first started in New York, there was this kid Joe who would come to, he started coming to stuff,

but he would just come at the end of the night. We had this old abandoned convent that we would like do stuff in. And so a lot of times we would just play loud music in the parking lot. And we were like, there was a lot of neighborhoods around and some people would just come. And it was just kind of wild,

but he would always come without his shirt. And he would, we called him Muscles. He wasn't muscular, he was like a stick, but like, like here him Muscles, he wasn't muscular, he was like a stick, but like, like here comes Muscles, you know, like and he'd become, he'd be high out of his mind, dude, he'd just be, oh, and he would wanna do the games and all that stuff, he was just, he was fun, but he was just an idiot, you know,

he was just like kind of a stoner, he had dropped out of high school, and he would always get in fights, that was the other thing, even though he was like a stick, he would always get in. That was the other thing even though he was like a stick he would always get in fights and and then One day he came on a retreat and He had this powerful like encounter at adoration like him and his buddy We're like crying holding each other and the wild thing was like back then too

Like you like they even know what was going on Like I remember their times like where kids like that gold thing came that man holding that gold thing came out You know, they didn't know like I had a kid once it was like that when that man walked around with the gold thing I felt like Jesus told me like you're gonna do what this man does one day, you know Like it was like so cool like he didn't know he was a priest to know that was the Eucharist it just like they're like and so there's something about like Sometimes I feel like we set things up culturally to be like, well, during adoration, if we play a song, you're gonna cry,

but they didn't know what it was. And so there was something even more true about it, but he was, you had this powerful experience and he, I mean, like he would come into like, so I would lead music at Mass. And there was this one time I could think in particularly where I'm leading the offatory song or whatever, and I could see him in the back row,

and he's making out with this girl in the back, during Mass, dude, with no shirt on. And I put down my guitar, I'm like, knock it off, dude. What the hell are you doing? You took your guitar and went to the back. Yeah, I mean, it was at the end of the song, but I was so mad, dude. I wanted to grab his hair, and I, back and yeah, I mean it was like at the end of the song You know me, but I was so mad dude. Yeah, I wanted like grab his hair and I I know yeah, and whatever I was I was mad. You know, I just I mean you got the candles

Playing music what do you expect? So the wild thing was is this okay, so we had this time have where like That the next week after that time and he had also started a fight that next week um but the but the the following um um youth group night i had all these they're called corps members but they're just the volunteers they're like Bob we need to meet with you they called this meeting behind my back and they're like um we decided like if you don't um do something about asking Joseph Riano to leave

We're quitting, you know, and I was like, you know full of piss and vinegar. That was 23, you know, like quit Yeah, that's how I was like I was a go ahead and leave dude because you know what when Joe I mean I was like feeling like you know, like a movie, you know, like yeah I was like as if Joe leaves like I was someone else like Joe joins, you know and like we're gonna keep doing that, you know, I was I was like Joe joins, you know, and like we're gonna keep doing that, you know I was I was like fired up, you know and That like so the the cool thing was is like half of them Did did quit that night and then the other half like who didn't quit like so Joe ended up like having this encounter like later that fall on retreat and They would always for years even after I left,

they'd be like, we always tell that story of Joe, you know, when people like, want to quit and they want to give up on kids. Because Joe ended up having, so he was out of college, I got him to get his GED, and then he started taking classes at like the local community college, and he was, you know, he would come into my office

and hang out in the youth ministry office, and he would take these classes. and then he ended up going to Stumville and then he ended up like working in the different diocese. He was the diocesan director of Oklahoma City. This is like how far this kid came and now just this past year he was like, because I asked him back in the day and he was like, no, I really feel like God wants me to be in a parish like you were, which was cool. And he was in a couple of different parishes in Kentucky and Texas. And then he was the Dyson director in Oklahoma City, but he was like, I want to do Vagabond.

And so he is starting Oklahoma City Vagabond. And so he's the director for that whole area. And this is a kid that was just an idiot, a crap head, like, you know, coming into mass with no shirt on, you know, smoking weed and, and, and it, I feel like you see something like that and you're like, man, it really is like conversion Pauline like conversion is like still possible. You know, that's powerful. Yeah. Imagine what would have happened if you had have cave to those core members and kicked him out. Where would he be right now? Yeah. Yeah. I know. And that's how holy I am. I. Imagine what would have happened if you had have caved to those core members and kicked him out. Where would he be right now? Yeah. Yeah. I know. And that's how holy I am.

I'm sure I would. I could see the argument. Like, I'm not saying that they were wrong. Yeah. It's like he's disrupting everything. Yeah. People aren't coming to Christ who may have because of what it is. So I see the argument. And I've had just as many people to be for threat. Like I've had just as many people that have poured more time than a years into resources and then nothing happened and and they you know I had one that was living with me he stole much stuff from me ran away like there's been lots of horrible things that didn't work out but that as far as a glory story I think like man that's really cool for me because it's

like full circle. And actually three of those young people that were from New York and during that time are all working for Vagabond right now. Like there were kids in that. It's pretty cool. One is leading a site in Mobile, Alabama, one's here in Stumville. So it's pretty cool to see. Did you ever find yourself feeling bitter or upset against kind of mainstream youth ministry that wasn't bringing in people from the fringes? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, there's sometimes like, honestly, I think most times, like when I would bring that up, like people were, they would respond, like for instance, at the time

we were doing Life Teen and I remember like calling Randy Rouse who's, I think he still is in charge of Life Teen, but and being like, man, where's people that are doing this kind of, you know, and I definitely was too angry, I was too arrogant and you know, all this kind of stuff, but like where are other people doing this? Like we need to be doing it to this people, not just white kids and suburbia and this and that. and he was like, yeah. Yeah, you're right. You know, I mean like so, you know, so how do we do it?

Help us. Yeah, and let's be a part of it And and now they do lots of different air But you know what they would always do man, they would let our kids come to their conferences free Really? They would yeah, I mean even now do they just let all of our staff go out to their camp and so so like a lot of times, the same thing at the Steubenville conferences, you know, and sometimes it's misdirected, misdirected anger, which I think sometimes people get caught in that moment. You know, like for me, there was definitely a time where I was, I hated rich people. I hated mainstream ministry. I hated Republicans, I hated the university.

But it's just like this immature sense of just like this knee jerk, like, oh, all these people don't care about the poor. They don't care about like really helping. It's an easy place to stay in because you're just kind of looking at a caricature and you're making all these really black and white judgments on people. When in reality, most people, they really do want to be a part, like even now, like when I'm telling

missionaries about networking with donors, with pulling in people with donors, I say one of the really cool things about, for instance, fundraising is, most people, they want to be a part of a story like this, they just don't have an opportunity. So it's really hard, honestly, you're a great example of that, and I feel like anytime I'm telling you a story about someone in town, like, oh, I got this kid who's,

you're like, dude, let me come over, let me be a part of that again, and that was just this last thing this fall was really cool, but not everyone always has the opportunity to like have these interactions. And so it's really cool to like, if you give people the benefit of that, most of the time in some way, they want to be a part of the story. It's just, they don't always have an opportunity. It's not like, that's not my world. Yeah. And maybe it should be. And there's an argument that, well, you should make yourself be more uncomfortable.

Like I should go down to the friendship room and like volunteer there weekly. And maybe if I was a better man, I would, you know, but, but yeah, having someone kind of invite you into it is, is really great. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And so I, you know, I feel like that easily could have been, I could have been, you know, kind of stuck in that, um, you know, stuck in that spot, you know, But I think that. Yeah, and maybe if you had have brought this up to the leaders of these ministries and they had have shown genuine apathy,

you would have been right to feel that way. But it might just be like, that's just not, help us. Yeah, one of the things that I feel like every time, like even when I went to the university here, when I wasn't at the university, I was like, hey, you know, like there's these kids, like if we want to make this not just white, middle class kids, like let's be more intentional

about who we invite, let's scholarship people, let's, you know, invite, and they're like, yeah, it's a good idea, you know what I mean? So they'd scholarship all kinds of people, and they did, you know, marketing to other people groups, you know, so it's pretty cool to see, like, most of the time I think that the church scholarship, all kinds of people, and they did marketing to other people groups. So it's pretty cool to see. Most of the time, I think that the church wants to be doing the right thing.

It's just sometimes you don't have the opportunity. How important is it that these conferences have a diverse group of people speaking from the front, leading music? It's a really big deal. I told you there were four years where I stopped doing them and one of the things that was really Significant for me and I've always said since then like dude every speaker every kind of career You know like speaker at these student conferences should take at least one summer and just sit in the crowd dude

Sit with a group of kids, you know, like be a chaperone, bring a group and just, you have to sit through every talk, you see just how long everything is. But the other cool thing is like, you see some of the stuff that like, when you're like a part of ministry, that you kind of pick apart, like, oh, this could have been better, this would be,

like you see like, there is a genuine anointing that's bigger than just like being a good speaker or having a good musician or whatever. So it's both sides, but one of the times during those four years, I was with a group of our teens and at that conference, Brian Greenfield was speaking. Are you friends with him? He's a good dude, man.

And he is a black speaker who is awesome and just very authentic, very engaging. And we had a group of probably 25 kids that are all black. And some of these kids had actually come into the church. They'd gone through RSA. They're in the church. Some, they were new. But at the end of the Saturday night, we sat around like a normal youth group and did sharing and I was like,

so what was most significant? You know, what were, you know, what was the best part of the conference for you? And I'm so used to like youth groups being like, adoration, you know, like, and just one after another, they were like, oh, you know, when that other black guy got up and was talking, like, it was so significant for them to see someone else that looked like them.

Yeah. They're like, Oh, I had ever seen is like a African priest that was like visiting the church. And you realize like, man, like it, I'm, I'm not in that same boat, you know, so you don't like, you know, I've been in some of those conversations where you're talking about speakers and you're like, we need more women speakers We need more like diverse speakers and this and that and you're like you get that it's important thing But then yeah seeing how significant what they they remember every word he said dude

And it was like so powerful for the powerful for them to see like, okay. Here's someone who looks like me Who is also Catholic, you know and They don't always like I had one of my god-sons who came into the church, like he told me once, like, and this is back kind of around some of the George Floyd stuff, it just, the Times of Black Lives Matter, that stuff came out, and he was saying like, I just am really struggling. Like some of these things, he was saying,

he was reading Malcolm X and he was like, I just, I'm afraid I just joined the white man's church. I mean, in the end I had to say to him like, this isn't my cross. So I don't wanna be unauthentic here by sharing, by saying, no, that's not the case. There's plenty minority. So I don't want to be insincere here, but the one thing I told them is the church has

some deep roots in parts of the world that are filled with minorities. And if you look at the places in the world right now where the church is thriving, just absolutely thriving, there are places like Africa, like South America, these places so like, it's not true that that's the case, but in his lived experience, that was the case, dude. It was like very much the case that like,

we go to this church over here, it was mainly all white people and we all sat in a couple pews that, like, here's the black people. There was no intention of that, but it was so significant for them to experience, just like any of us, I want to hear someone talk to me about holiness or give me an example of holiness that I can relate to, you know, that uses words that I like, you know, that looks kind of like how I, you know, and culturally, I mean, that's kind of what we all want. But so for them,

it was wild, you know. I'm just relating here as you're speaking, like as an Australian, I started a life team parish in Brisbane, Australia, because that was the best thing in the church that looked like cool and like it could work. And even for me, I was like, ah, all the analogies they use are American. Everything's American. Baseball analogies. And like none of our kids get this. And so I could see someone saying, well, why are you so concerned about that? Like, and you're like, well, I'm concerned because we don't relate to it.

Right. And so if I can see that. Totally. Then I can see why they. Yeah, and you realize, sometimes when I talk to youth ministry classes, I'm talking about mission work, you could say, okay, well, Tony over here is going to Zimbabwe to do mission work. And you're like, that's awesome, Tony, what do you know about Zimbabwe?

He's like, I don't know much. Do you know what they eat? Do you know? And you're like, that's awesome, Tony. What do you know about Zimbabwe? Like, I don't know much, you know? Like, do you know what they eat? Do you know what kind of music they listen to? Do you know like what their day structure looks like? Do you know like what kind of songs they sing? You're like, no, I don't know any of that. Like, well, you still can make an impact. Like, you could still go and paint some houses

or give out balloons, hug people, you know, and still like have some kind of impact. But like the amount of impact you could have would be so much greater if you realize that like people experience life and furthermore, people experience God within culture, which is why it's like so important to not sidestep culture. It's like the tidal wave we talked about earlier, like culture is not just a tidal wave when it comes to bad stuff. Culture is also just, that's how we experience each other.

It's how we experience God, you know? And so for the church to do that, and I think that, you know, when we study like missionary saints, it's always been at its best when we embrace culture. It's always been at its worst when we demonize culture or we forget about culture, you know? So it's a pretty big deal, but I do think the church is aware of it and I don't think that's the trend anymore that we demonize or that we sidestep. I mean, it happens, but I don't think by and large

it's people are trying to do that. Thank you. I know that these, to take a hard left turn after that wonderful conversation. I know that these are you Gen Z Neil? What is Gen Z? Gen Z is ninety five to. It's it. People disagree on the year. I think Gen Z is millennials.

No, no. So millennials are eighty five to ninety five. Wow. So I was going to the science guy over here. Sorry, man. So millennials are 85 to 95. Wow. So I was the science guy over here. Sorry, man. Sorry, I got it wrong. Can you pass me that scotch? I was born in 83.

So I just missed the millennials. Millennials. No, no. Millennial and Gen Z. But really, I think I skew more towards the Gen Z kind of stereotypes and identify with that group and the way that we interact with technology. I Yeah, the other thing is Generations I think and there's no like actual research generational research. This is my personal opinion Generations are getting smaller because the technology that affects them at a younger age is changing so rapidly

Because the technology that affects them at a younger age is changing so rapidly Interesting that like like I would technically be probably considered the same generation as Matt's two oldest kids Yeah, but like the majority of my ass kids. No When were you born? They can't see the camera on you. I just want to what 99 99 You will one when I came to Christ Remarkable, I got married 99, bro cool He doesn't care dude Gen Z or no, but it's true

Like I think in many respects and yet you have perhaps more in common with my son who is 14 Than you have with me. Oh 100% Yeah, yeah, but I don't think I think like that have with me. Oh 100% yeah. Yeah. But I don't think I think like that like the the idea that I'm somehow in the same generation is most like but that's because your your kids are not as exposed to technology and stuff like most 14 to 15 year olds I cannot relate to them at all. Really? Yeah. Interesting. I can't I have a hard time standing being around 14 and 15 year olds most of the time

In in the larger culture just because they're so tech absorbed and like so pop culture. Mm-hmm But like they can't have Conversations about things that actually exist. Mm-hmm. So Well, I asked him to put together a list of Gen Z slang to see if Because people say things in my comment section whenever I check it. I'm like, what does this mean? Is this a typo? Like, no, no, you kidding? That means this. I'm like, ah, I don't know. This is related, man.

He said take a hard left, but you were talking about culture. Yeah, that's true. This is culture. So he still doesn't understand. So the format I think we should do here is Bob's way more likely to get these. So I think I pitch him. Okay.

Matt takes a swing. I'm gonna take a swing at what they mean. Okay. Bob tells, Bob either corrects him or guesses. Okay. And then if you're both wrong, I'll explain it. Okay. All right.

All right, the first one is based and cringe. So does based mean cool and cringe mean awkward? Cringe, yeah, cringe is definitely that. I don't know, based? So based in opposition to cringe, like, so it started out as a political thing. So like you would say, like people in the political sphere would say like my guy is based and your guy

is cringe. So like Trump is based in Joe Biden is cringed. Based like with a T at the end or ED? Based like ED. Yeah. So, okay. So what does it mean? Say something, say something doctrinally sound. There are three persons in God. Yeah, that's based. Okay. So it's, it's, it's, so it's true. It's a statement of agreement, basically. Okay.

Or like the it's cool or agreement or anything. What does this? What does cringe mean in addition to just awkward? Like, you know, I saw I saw I don't know if this was a joke, so I don't want people to think this actual book exists. But I saw yesterday on the Internet, I saw a cover of a book and it said hold on I want to find it it said making money from the coming rapture like profiting from the coming rapture like that's that's a cringe thing see I feel like cringe has been on the scene too long that when people say cringe, I find it cringe.

Do they even say it? How to profit from the coming rapture getting ahead when you're left behind. I knew that. Hey, that's cringe because it's what? Because it's it's not based. Oh, God. They're opposites. OK, I hate that generation. Yeah. All right. Bob's definitely going to get this one. I think the older you are, the better you are. If you've been around here longer, you're definitely better than these people. Objectively speaking, the only way I don't like it all is anybody who says L.O.L. or LMAO. These people are the scum of the earth. In my estimation, who says it out loud or text when they text it, but when they text it out. OK, I need some clarity here or context. When they text it with a snarky comment. That's what I don't

like. If they just LOL it was funny. I don't appreciate them. I don't respect them. But if they say something snarky and then say LOL, it's like someone laughing at their own joke. Yeah. My kids like text me stuff all the time. They'll be like, do you want me to pick up some milk LOL? Like the little- What does that mean? It's just like in there, dude. It text me stuff all the time. They'll be like, do you want me to pick up some milk? LOL. Like that little. What does that mean? It's just like in there, dude. It's just like in the. Do they know how to text?

Where are you? LOL. They'll just it just be in there, dude. So if I ever respond to comments that say LOL, which I don't. I always make sure I say LOL. It's just like saying um, you know, it's just like, um, are you at the store? LOL. All right. You want another? Yeah. Yeah. All right.

LOL. Well, um. LMAO. store lol alright you want another yeah alright lol well um lmao so the phrase the word cap or no cap I have no idea what that means I just know that one I feel like you actually know yes I would I lie what cat means lie cap means lie how that in a sense cat that cap, like that's not true. Where did that come from? No clue. Or like, if you're lying, you cappin'. Your stupid kids say that?

Yeah. Well, I mean like my kids. Ah. I just should've said my kids. For now, when you say kids, I'll just assume stupid kids. Oh, dude, I- That's cap? Yeah, sometimes when they talk to me with that stuff,

it makes me so mad that I Got in a big fight with one of my kids. I'm not gonna say who Toby but he We were like in a genuine fight dude, like bad fight and he said I feel like you're not giving me my props That's what he said dude, and which isn't even like a relevant phrase, but I was like you're not giving me my props. That's what he said dude, and which isn't even like a relevant phrase but I was like I Was like I'm more mad than anything this fight is about that. You just said that to me, dude

And we hung up the weird other folder. I was so mad Yeah, I mean it's not even in the list. Yeah, they're probably gosh, dude So when they use like you're like don't I'm not no don't don't use it So when how does someone say no cap? Like they're not lying no cap like you know like I just like you know got like a cheeseburger for five cents No cap like they're not cool. Thank you Next one. All right. I got another opposite in here, but I want to skip to Sus does that mean suspicious? Yeah, bro, bro, you know, man.

So if someone says that's sus, they mean they doubt us. Yeah. Or just like that guy is sus. You're acting sus. I feel like there's not like a direct relation with cringe, but it's kind of like also just like sus, like suspect, but also like just if it seems like at all that's sussed Yeah, that I think I've heard that a lot. I don't think that's that one comes from in a video game. Okay

Drip Drip, I have no idea. Come on, dude. Give it to me in a sentence. Oh, no I don't know like Bob's got some nice trip go like check out the drip, you know, like or I'm super drippy today Your style. Yeah drip like your yeah your swag. That's it You know, yeah your outfit see in England I think they say fit to mean like actually in shape and looking beautiful No, like you're like nice fit, you know, be like nice outfit. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh god next one

say less Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God next one Say less No, I didn't hurt people say say less. No, he's like they agree with you like say less say less, really Yeah, yeah, you say that in everyday parlance. No, I say none of these except for based in cringe Say less really. All right, so I'll say something like this and you like this is really good scotch say less, bro Really? Does that mean you don't need to say anything at all? Yeah, it means like you for itself. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah say less say like you don't need to keep going you've said enough I say yeah, all right Bussin. No.

Bussin, Bussin. Actually, I'm losing respect for myself as I'm learning the definition for these things. And I'm going to try really hard to not remember them. Do we should start telling Matt they mean other stuff. So this is like a compliment. Bussin. This is a compliment you give to your mother-in-law when she looks

really pretty. What does Bussin mean? Bussin like like this sandwich is B a compliment. That's Bussin! This is a compliment you give to your mother-in-law when she looks really pretty. What does Bussin mean? Bussin is like, this sandwich is Bussin. It's like Bustin. It's awesome. It's a compliment. This sandwich is Bussin for real, for real. No cap. No cap, right? I love that you tried to explain Bussin by saying Busting as if I would then know what that means.

It's like you're saying this sandwich is Busting if I would then know what that means. It's like just saying like, this is the sandwich is busting. Oh, I know what that means. Well, just, I mean, like, think of like, just keep going like bursting, you know, like it's, it's good, man. It's like a, this is bussin. Bussin means good. Respect what? Respectfully. Yeah. That's, that's like a, that's like, that's more of like a pines with a coin is like.

Yeah, because if you call a person Buston, it's a very, it's a compliment, but it's a cat call equivalent compliment. Oh, I see. Yeah, I feel like it's more like typically about a shirt or food. People said something five, eight years ago and I don't know what it means and I'd like you to tell me what it means. Five or eight years ago and I don't I don't know what it means and I'd like you to tell me what it means. Five or eight years ago. I have one underhand.

I have one underhand pitch here, Matt. And I think you'll know this one. Goat. Goat? Yeah. Greatest of all time. There we go. Okay.

We got one. Child's play. And so do you say that about people, things or anything? Tom Brady. All right. So here's what I don't understand. What does on fleek mean? Does that mean All right. So here's what I don't understand. What does on fleek mean?

Does that mean like it means good? But what is that? Is that people say that anymore? People don't say it anymore. I don't know. So that fleek. I mean good. Like, yeah.

Where did that come from? I have no idea. I think it originated for some reason. It was originally only when your eyebrows looked good. They were on fleek, which I don't know. There's probably some actual like memetic meaning to that. I guess I should start pulling up. Okay. They were on which I don't know. There's probably some actual like memetic meaning to that

Okay It's fascinating how these things go out of yeah, fat leak star drill like those are all like around the same time I feel like you know, it's like it means cool. Yeah. All right. What's another one? Catch these hands what? Yeah, all right. What's another one? Catch these hands what? Like fight yeah, yeah catch these hands. Yeah, yeah, okay give it to me in a sentence Like you ain't trying to catch these hands You leaning What does that mean like leaning in like you want to fight you leaning leaning?

cool flight. You're leaning. Okay. Linen. Cool. Uh, make main character. Probably have to use that one in a sentence to explain it. Main character like, uh, like that guy over there, he's the main character. Is that like the alpha? It's like, like we're, it's a saying that kind of means like we're all living as like background characters in this guy's story. Like what's going on? It's about that guy over there.

I like that bro. That's like Christophanic too. Christophanic's the main character. I like that a lot. So then how would you say about Christophanic in a sentence? That dude's the main character. Is the main character. Or that dude's main character.

He's the main character, okay. I like it. This is a compliment you give to someone. Snack. Have you heard that? Yeah, but I feel like that's a lot of times, like if I hear kids give that, like I'm thinking about inner city kids,

like the girls do not like that. Like if they say, like, she's a snack right there. You know, like, you know, it's kind of like, I feel like it's a little, like, yeah, like a snack, you know what I mean? But it's, I don't know, I feel like it's a little dry like okay Yeah, like a snack you know I mean like but it's I don't know I feel like it's got some like is that what you think It means that's I'm that may be how it's used in that context we We say it to just mean like it's a general compliment like you're looking good today, you know But how would you say you're looking? How would you say it?

Yeah, I walk up to a guy if I think one of my guy friends is like looking good today. It's be like, yo, you look like a snack today, dude Okay, just like you gotta say a little sarcastic. Yeah, it's like a little wink wink But like I feel like but you mean it, you know when you hear like in a rap song or something or no Like a thought listen to right? But I feel like it's like the same the same All right. TFW.

That's an internet one. So, you know, TFW, do you know TFW, Bob? Is it like FML? No. TFW is that feeling when. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, bro. And so how would you use that?

So it'd be like, it'd be just like, it's normally used for captions, for like GIFs. Yeah. So like you got a GIF of some guy like dancing and it's like TFW, you get your paycheck. I see, I see. Fair enough, okay. The feeling when Matt asks you to be on his show again. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. TFW. Good. Finna. No idea Like i'm finna go To the store like i'm i'm like fitting that you know, like, you know It's like a southern like they say like i'm fitting to make me some chicken, you know, like finna is just fixing

Yeah, fixing to yeah fixing to and now it's finna. It's finna. I'm so impressed that you know all this Is it because of your kids or because you I think just because I work with college kids and the teens like the I mean the vagabond teens I'm impressed that you knew all this. Is it because of your kids or because you, the work you have with college kids? I think just because I work with college kids and the teens, like the, I mean the vagabond teens. I'm excited to, for you to say one that Bob doesn't know. Why is my dad calling me?

I don't know what that could possibly be. He probably has a good one, dude. Should I pick up? Josiah, what about, what about Well, what uh? What's up dog? Hey dad, um, the best is to say with an Australian accent. It always sounds cooler What is up dog simp? Hey, you want to take a shot at simp? I explained simp to Matt yesterday I think I don't know what simp means. Is it when you're is it when you're showing like Unreciprocated affection to a woman?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's like a real like, like, um, like I want to, um, like get my son, Jacob, like a shirt that says like, like official simp, like, you know, like it's like your girlfriend, like, you know, it's just like you drop everything. Like you got to run over there, like take a picture of her brownies because she wants, you know, or just like you drop everything like oh I see like you got to run over there like Take a picture of her brownies because she won't you know or like you're just we used to say we would say like you whipped Yes, simp. Yeah, but it also it's taking on a new meaning with the internet because there are guys who just orbit these women online throwing also down bad is more when it's unreciprocated.

OK. Like that or like. Are like, you know, is a sin, my bruins are good. OK, that's like classic sin. Is that right? Sim City, right there. It's more just like you can't. Full map. This is going to go live for my wife and I down south.

I'm going to have very restricted access to my internet It's just gonna be that's all right. I'll take over. He's he's gonna come find Bob and I while you're out What's the I think there's one more on here Stan Stan like a man's name like the name like a it's a stalker fan It's like a fan who's like a stalker also. Okay, like a super fan. Yeah, like yeah Like I know cool. I don't think I don't think it's like putting together stalker and fan is a Stan You probably have lots of stands high-key and low-key

Like it's only high does that mean like well if it's like I'm low-key a Matt Fred fan You're like, you know like on the down low, you know, like, I'm low key a Matt Fradd fan. You're like, you know, like on the down low, you know, like I'm low key a Matt Fradd stand. My favorite stands are those. And this has happened once to me, my friend John Henry and I were walking out of a restaurant and this couple, two fellas who go to Franciscan like ran out to meet me. And the first thing they say was, hey, man, oh my God, I don't, I don't really listen to Pines for the Quietness, but I'm like, why would you? And my friends like, why would you run out to meet me. And the first thing they'd say was, hey, man, oh my God, I don't really listen to Pines for the Quietness, but I'm like,

why would you, and my friend's like, why would you run out to say you don't listen? They just don't want to sound dumb, though. They don't want to sound like simps, bro, but they. Simps. They were, no cap. All right. Good, good.

It's cool, it's interesting. I think you did pretty good, man. Oh, I got none of them right. Well, I know, there a couple of you. Right. What are some, some that he forgot? Oh geez. I don't know, man. I definitely don't feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm late to the game. Sometimes I'm many sayings like fashions where if something's seen and becomes normalized, it drops off and stuff.

It's not cool, man. But the word cool has been around forever. So that one's stuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, at least, but that's me and you saying that, you know, cause like, you know, when I say all the time that my kids get made fun of. Do you say cool Thursday? Gee, that's cool. For example, what that means is I like that.

It's a slang term. Yeah, that's cool. People say cool. So how come that one is stuck right? Because I cannot see cringe staying around. Cringe has been around since for like five or six years now. So it's got a longer life cycle. I mean, it is actually, I like the saying because when you make that face.

Yeah. When I read the title of the book, it's like getting ahead in the coming rapture. Like it's, it's when you feel embarrassment for somebody else. Is that partly what it is? You just feel you're embarrassed on their behalf. Yeah. It was so cringe. But don't you think like they're not embarrassed, but they should be. And I feel embarrassed for them. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's putting some more thought into it than probably the people they

use it. Was that a bit cringe that I thought yeah, that was cringe. Yeah, I always accidentally say cringy. I mean You should not use proper grammar. Yeah Number one The thing about grammar is if you understood my grammar well enough to correct me that means I was communicating Effectively enough that you knew what I meant and you correcting it is just you being a grammar well enough to correct me, that means I was communicating effectively enough that you knew what I meant, and you correcting it is just you being a butt. I see.

Well, there have been times where someone has said something that I thought was like really nasty, and I showed Thursdays, like, they are totally trolling. Oh, trolling is another one. People didn't say troll before the internet, did they? Well, those little pencils. That's true, with the hair too. Well, those little pencils. That's true with the hair.

Yeah, I mean, I have a harder time keeping up with like the abbreviations and texting. I have way harder time with that. But once I get one, bro, I lock in like AF or TF or FML. I mean, those are. I don't know how I feel about these vulgar slang terms being incorporated to everyday house products. So we have. House products?

Yeah, we have a sun, we had sunscreen and it said like protected AF or something. And I said, do you know what this means to my wife? It's like, I, it's what we just threw it out. Yeah, I get that. Because we are super on fleek. No, no, no, I get that. But like, you know what it is, dude? Like, you know how it is, dude, like

You know how like certain things just become part of like normal You don't really even think about like, you know I don't know did you get in trouble like for me as a kid if I said that sucks Like I would get in a lot of trouble. Yes, you know, but everyone says it out there. I mean, you know, I've heard it In a homily dude be like it really sucks when you know, it's just it in a homily, dude. It'd be like, it really sucks when, you know, it's just, it's not like, you don't really think it's just like the meaning is like, it's bad. All right. Let's, let's try to find out. I want to find more of these. What are they called when you use letters like that feeling when an acronym? What about I? I like K.Y.K.

Why? I like K.Y.K. No idea. Okay. So here's what is that? You know, you know, ah, lol. What does that mean? Come on. I'm a loser and needed to tell you without telling you. Wow.

ASAP. Well, that's been around forever. FYI. Yes. G to G G to G. Gotta go. FB Facebook. TTYL.

If I if I was our Lord, I would just smite the earth again with a flood. IMO. My opinion. OK, this is this is good. 2022 is most used Internet abbreviations with 100 here. Wow. Nobody, nobody in 2022 has texted. PAW. PAW. Parents are watching? PITR, parents in the room.

Wow. PBB, parents behind back. Why would we use any of these? Nobody has used them. No one has said that. Those seem made up to scare parents. Yeah. Is SPF on there?

MRW, my reaction when CSL can't stop laughing. Yeah, I've seen that one. People don't use MRW. People use MFW to mean the same thing as like. Well, look at this. This can not be a thing. I am.

Oh, I am. H.O. In my honest opinion, my humble in my honest opinion opinion in my humble opinion Yeah, I am a Joe. No, but it's I am. Oh, I am. Ho the same thing that it's using the same one He can't even tell the difference between You know, this is probably put together by someone from my generation On their mat I had a

WTF LMK for the loss let me know Omw on my way. Oh yeah NBD you got that no big deal. That's one of my favorites, but what is it N NBD no big deal like you like you say I like to say that one out loud You know like when I come in the room like I would just sound pints with coin is in the day if I if I I really know in IRL in real life All right. Here's his how about this if I play a rap hip- hop drum track, would you rap for us? Or would that be SMH?

Sure, bro. Or would that soups be cringy, wingy? It'd definitely be cringe, but I'll do it. All right. Let's see if I can find a good one, though, because they might be bad. Could you do something? Could you? Yeah, sure, bro. Keep it going. Yo, I work the pen

Make the ink transform Predict every surface the pen lands on I'm hands on, what's the beat The cooly high chief keys, high techniques Dude I drape off poetic landscapes And shapes, straight to pattern paper With the pen that paints, then create What happened to the geographical magic A-made status in the flavor automatic arm

You got to do it remember we said we're gonna All of you Thursday you can do it if you want keep going That wasn't freestyle. I'll try to do a freestyle. Don't try come on. I got this Yeah My name is Bob rap is the game I'm on the map Frencho. It's all the same when they call me B Bring it back. Hold on My name is B and I don't Matt Francho, it's all the same. But they call me B. Yeah. Bring it back, hold on. My name is B and I don't.

They call me B and I ain't trying to be punny. Remember when Matt said women aren't funny? Uh oh. I do. I do. What? Oh, you gotta do it do it, Matt? No, come on, man. We can do it. My name is Matt Fred. I'm here to say no, I love Thomas Aquinas in a major way. Um, I remember when you were speaking at a conference and you asked, and I'm not going to say his name and I don't want you to say his name either I'm gonna know I'm gonna say it

It was really good you asked somebody who was the music minister that day to do a to do a freestyle rap Okay, and it was the most cringe thing in I was so in Bob Rice But I'm not gonna say who but I was embarrassed for that person and I just thought better just to say I'm not gonna do it So not Matt Maher who was it my Maher not gonna say. Oh, I wish you'd say I don't remember I've done a rap song with Matt Maher, but he didn't rap. He just sang where what is the state of Christian music right now? Or have you been out of it for so long? It's hard to say. Yeah, I mean I'm washed up, bro Remember we talked about right beforehand and Matt didn't want to do this bit by said let's what if we put together a washed up Catholic or wash up Christian music world tour

And I'd be like I'd be the headliner. Okay, righteous me. I'll be the headliner Who else would be on it? Washed up music wash up Christian or Catholic Christian Catholic. I mean John Michael Talbot He'll there's no way to do this with Sandy Patty Toby Mack is washed up. He's washed up, dude, but he still looks so cool. He looks so cool and he's honest He seems like he's still processing real things. That's the difference. I think like if you've stopped If you're if you're just singing songs from years ago, like I don't think Metallica are washed up, but they're almost 60 or they are 60.

Thursday, can you zoom in on this? I can't zoom in, but I can. I got you saying. Do you remember Carmen? There's a Christian guy he did like this. This song is called The Champion. It was like a rap, a Christian rap. No, but this song is called the champion. It was like a rap, a Christian rap. No, but I remember someone called something 52 or KJ.

KJ five to I want to see what he looks like today. He probably looks cool, man. All these people were like legit music. He was like, everyone's saying he sounds like Eminem. Yeah, he did. He did have the, he had the entire Slim Shady, your Slim Shady thing. Yeah, it was. Oh, that's right. I thought that was really good. It was significant, dude, it was significant.

He also had some really funny comedy songs on all of his albums, had at least one comedy song, and they were almost always hilarious. Let's see, how old is he? KJ52. If you can find, he's only 47. 47? You know you're old when you're like,

he's only 47. That's old, bro. That's old. What's that? I said we should have these people on the show. So, dude, we should have a little rap battle, you're old when you're like, he's old, that's all. What's that? So we should have a little rap battle, have them on and then I'll rap against them, bro. You can't you can't handle it. In the debate format.

Yeah, that's right. Do you think are you glad that you kind of got out when you did? And do you sometimes see people who this is their thing and they're going to go down with it and it just at some point you're like you need to stop because it's painful. Totally, totally, totally. And I. You know, it's easy to be like, well, I got out of the game because I was, you know, I was on top or whatever, you know, but it's like the truth is I probably

just never get it big, you know, is it's like, the truth is I probably just never hit it big. It'd be like, I just kind of stopped. But I mean, it's also like, no one wants to hear a bald, bow-legged, old white guy rapping. But I think for me, the biggest thing, and I mean, this was the case back then too, but it wasn't like you had to be in that back then like when I was like I feel like more like in the game

it was easy to make a living because there wasn't a lot of like cool like Catholic music a lot of cool Christian music like there's so much cool music not just Catholic and Christian music but like just music dude you know I mean you talk to people I I'm talking to college students somebody you've ever heard of this guy we heard of this guy I've. You know, I mean, you talk to people, I'm talking to college students, somebody, have you ever heard of this guy? Have you ever heard of this guy? Have you ever heard of this? I mean, and it's just so,

cause anyone could just make music on their laptop, dude. You know, like, and I feel like when I would go to a conference or something, whether it was like a Diocesan Youth Conference, Student Welfare Conference, something, it was just so easy to make money because like nothing else was cool there. You know what I mean?

You just had a shirt that says Jesus Lo rap. Like, just something stupid, dude. I mean, I had so many stupid shirts. I would just make so much money because people would be like, well, the kids would be like, that's way cooler than buying like, you know, the picture with like Moses, you know, bench pressing or something. I don't know, like it was just wasn't a lot of cool stuff. Like, and so it was a lot easier, but also it was just on the cusp of like, you know, like social media. So I never had, so I mean, like you have to be so entrenched

in social media today, like even, you know, friends of ours that I think are great people that are doing it, like walking that line pretty well. But I still am with them, like they're always having to do like a little, hey, I'm here with so and so, or I'm at this thing or what, you know, like I'm in the airport, like look how funny this is. You know, it's like, you're just so constantly having

to promote, to book, to sell, you know? And so I think think on some levels, the game is a lot better in the sense of quality of music. I mean, I feel like Christian music in general has probably never been cooler sounding, you know? But... What do you have in mind? Because I've just had curiosity for my own...

Well, I'm thinking, when I think of like, you know, like hip hop, like I really don't like turn on Christian radio. I think a lot of like when I think of like, you know, like worship, semi worship song, I just think they're all kind of like cringe, you know, like just in the sense of like the phrasing, the content, like it's like always recycled. But as far as the sound, dude, it sounds awesome.

The production, it's so cool. As far as hip hop stuff, I love Andy Minio. That's one of my favorites. There's just so many good... I feel like of any genre, there's so many good stuff. Just yesterday, I watched this documentary on Rich Mullins. And it was like, oh man. What was his classic song? He wrote like, oh God, you are my God, and sometimes my step.

I mean, he wrote some cheesy ones too, Awesome God and stuff like that. But the bulk of his work and the tension of his work was not wanting to be in the Christian music scene to the extent that... So there's this awesome... Remember Tom Booth? Yeah. Okay. So Tom Booth told me once...

So Rich Mullins died in 97 in a car crash, but like was just such a disruptor. I like when I watch Shark Tank and they're always like, this is a disruptor. Like he was definitely a disruptor of Christian music. He would still be a disruptor today. Like, well, he always would just record demos on a cassette. You know, they hated that. Like he would just be like, I don't care about how many records are set. Like I want it to just be pure.

You know, he, he never, he had an accountant that all his money went to the accountant, he told them to never let him know how much money he made and only to pay him whatever that year's median salary was for a man, like so. Wow, what money did you get? $28,000, it just all went to charities, Indian reservations, wherever,

he lived on Indian reservation, you know, and and so everything else would just you know, so he was like pure of heart in the sense of like, you know but this one time Tom Booth told me that I said Tom Booth was nominated for the Dove Awards like he was nominated for male vocalist of the year and this is rich Moles was like he was doing a lot of stuff at that time with like some of the Catholic artists and he told Tom Booth that, or Tom Booth told me he told him this, that he said if you win male artist of the year I'll give you $10,000 cash if you say, I'd like to thank Satan for this award.

Rich Mullins told him to say that? Yeah, because he's the only one who would care which Christian music artists are better than the other one. I thought this was so funny, dude. He's just like saying it's so crazy. We have to have our own awards and we have to mimic everything culture does instead of just being like, we don't need to mimic culture, you know what I mean? But like the Christian music industry is first and foremost,

it's an industry, dude. You know what I mean? So like- Pete Slauson What does that mean to say? It's an industry? Chris McPherson I mean, it's just, first and foremost, to make money, dude. You know, all those, every Christian music label is parent label by Sony. Their parent labels are just, the only reason they realize, you see these elections and you think like, man, there's a lot of fundamental Christians,

there's a lot of right wing, there's a lot of Christians, and we should be making money off of them, dude. And so these labels, the first and foremost thing they care about is making money. And their business is not, making money's not evil, but it's a weird connection. I always thought it would be so cool to write a song, like with a wordplay on profit with an F

and profit with a pH. It's like literally like there's these people that are like paid to be prophets, you know, like a profit for hire and there's just something about it that's like, it's, I don't know, there's a tension there that I think a lot of, you know, Christian Catholic music artists don't have. And I understand it's in a, I don't think it's pure evil or anything like that, but it's like, you got to remember, it's like first and foremost, it's not trying to think of like, what can impact these people's spiritual life. You know, it's like first and foremost, it's like, who's gonna buy this

album? Who's gonna buy this song? I remember that shocking me when I came to America. I didn't know how to take it because on one hand, I thought it was really cool that you could go to Walmart and there were these Christian t-shirts and then you'd be at like a restaurant and on the TV would there be an advertisement for some Christian CD. And so I think originally I thought this is really great. Like look at Americans wearing their faith on their sleeve. And I think there is probably something to be praised there, but I didn't. And then maybe the more I stuck around the more I thought, yeah, this does feel like just an industry to make money.

Totally. Totally. Yeah. I mean, cause you just start feeling like any one. You don't have that in Australia, you know? Oh no. No way. I mean, I know Hillsong is a big deal in Australia. I don't know what that's like in Australian media. I presume that they probably make most of their money in America, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But it's just a weird, I mean, even Hillsong is a perfect example.

I like Hillsong's music. But this trend now to record worship songs on YouTube, and there's this vibe where they're just People that happen to me in a room. They're all praising and there's like a sweeping camera Yeah, and then you realize man everyone looks hot like everyone looks so cool I mean that was the first thing I noticed about Hillsong. I'm like man. I love some of these hills I still love some the Hillsong worship like a ton But then I realized man, I love watching the video

because everyone looks hot. Or you realize that and then you get into the era of body positivity and you're like, oh, wow, there's a big fat person for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you realize like, well, that's part of the industry, too. Yeah, that didn't necessarily happen organically. Yeah, I mean, even just like all of a sudden, all these

like worship groups like have a black guy rapping over like the bridge or something. I mean, like I remember just feeling like, man, that's like kind of forced. You know, I mean, like it just felt like. And I'm not saying like it's bad. I was in a wheelchair. I'm going to look up, I bet you right now. Let's have a look. Let's see. Just look up Hillsong pictures.

I want to see if there's someone else On a wheelchair on stage and Ali is racially ambiguous. Keep talking Do you guys sorry you guys were talking about Christian music? Yeah, Google's a So I Googled top Christian artists, and then I just clicked the billboard Websites top ten Christian artists. Do you guys want to the Billboard websites. Top 10 Christian artists. Do you guys want to guess who Billboard has as number one? It's hilarious.

Top Christian artists. Is it a wash up person? No, it's not. They are, you know, that depends on your definition of the word washed up. I take it back. There's no one in wheelchair. Is it Michael W. Smith?

I was going to say that too. No. I was going to say the exact thing. As soon as I say, you guys are going to roll your eyes all the way into the back of your heads. Okay, so there's a Christian artist, music artist, who's number one, and we have to guess who that is. Are you looking it up right now?

Are you texting someone? No, no, no, I'm not, dude. I just, I was getting a text, I think someone wanted me to say something funny. I wasn't gonna try and do it, but sorry. I'm ready to guess who it is, though. Okay, take a guess. I say, Muggle B. Smith.

Okay. Wait, if it's not Muggle B. Okay, take a guess. I say Michael B. Smith. Okay, it's wait If it's not like the Smith, let me guess it it's not Freaking like casting crowns or something. They are I think number four. No. Yeah, they're number five It's uh, it's mr. Yay Kanye yes Like from his like that last Jesus King, Jesus King and Donda was great album. Don't know. I had some really good Christian songs.

God breathe. That's funny. No, I'm not rolling my eyes. I mean, I came with the with the poor fella seems to be going through right now, but I mean, that's cool. Okay. So who are the top five? Go.

Yay. For King and Country. Okay. I haven't heard of the next two. Elevation Worship. Yeah, they were like everything. OK, cool. Maverick City Music. Yeah, they're like, yeah. And then Casting Crowns is number five.

Yeah, I know. Casting Crowns is number five. OK. I mean, Elevation Maverick City is kind of cool. You know what I did recently? I downloaded the first Hillsong album. Like United or something? No, I think there was a distinction between Hills the first Hillsong album. Like United or something else? I said, no, I think there was a distinction between Hillsong and Hillsong United.

Hillsong United was more the youthy branch. But I'm noticing this trend in music where, like, if you go back and listen to music in the early 90s and 80s, it was very kind of like gushy and optimistic, you know? And the praise and worship was like that too. Whereas now it's more like introspective. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like angsty. Yeah.

So I actually kind of miss the old praise and worship that people would perhaps. I kind of think is fun. But like, yeah, on eagles wings and all those things. It was nice to kind of go back. Was eagles wings ever praise and worship? No, I'm thinking of, what's the word I'm thinking of? And he will raise you. Oh, that's not what I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what am I thinking? I'm thinking of, um, what's the one thing, you know,

I'm thinking shout to the Lord. Yeah. Like that kind of stuff. Right. That's what I think of on Eagles wings, like that funeral. So I downloaded the song and I was listening to it the other day. I just listened to the whole album and just, just being like, okay, this is about God. So I'm going to praise God with this music. And it was actually a beautiful experience. That's awesome. Yeah. I had a friar recently tell me he's like I miss we're talking about praise and worship in this age group and stuff and he was like I miss the songs that were just Like kind of fun and even like almost silly like yes

Yeah, like I mean like stuff like that like like like stuff like that. Like, we're like, like, um, we'll say, oh, I didn't enjoy this when they said to me, I mean, it was all like, you know, like, but there was something about it that was like, it really was uplifting. He was like, now he said the same thing. I didn't use the word angsty, but it was like, yeah, it is a very introspective kind of like right off. You cut to this deep, you cut to the chase with like some kind of cut you to the core song,

which I don't know. I'm a big fan of like maybe the Lord is doing something different. Maybe this group's just there. What they need is something different than what we needed and all that kind of stuff. And I'm okay with that, you know, but I totally know what you're saying, dude. I mean, you remember that song shine, Jesus shine. Yes. I mean, as a high school kid, dude, I have great memories of like, of singing that song and like, it's clearly had its day. It clearly wouldn't appeal to our children. It doesn't need to.

We don't need to revive it, but I do have nice memories of that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe we should start a band. Do you guys know? I don't know. I don't want to get them to all watch the video you singing at your sister's wedding, but Matt has an amazing voice and stage presence too. I

had no idea dude we're watching this video and my wife was like dude he should have been like a lead singer of like a group. I mean it just it sounded so cool man. I was a lead singer in my band in high school had a couple bands in high school. What were the names? Buckle up here they go. The Stitchwork Ninjas. Oh that's pretty good isn't it? It's really good And the other one was little choppy Little choppy. Yeah. Yeah, I like that Was it spelled like LL no no little little just a little choppy stitch work ninjas

Yeah, a little choppy so funny that I like that one. My sister's doing good stuff She's a very good guitarist. Let me see if I can find this one thing she's on Instagram. Did is your is that video of you singing like, is that like public or is that public? Emma published it. Yeah. So yeah. So Emma got married in Australia and then came to America. What are you looking up? Why you smile? It's like him singing a super freak song. I said, let me just like play this song from my sister and see if we can

See what it sounds like see what you think I don't you can't fast forward on Instagram It's crazy that her playing that there wish I could fast forward against she's so gifted She's got two capos on the guitar right now. Wow. She's got two capos on the guitar right now. It's wild. It sounds like the Tea Party, which was a Canadian band back in the day who were very good. But this is her.

She wrote this. It sounds so cool. Anyway, Emma, it's good. So her and her husband have a, have a record label called Enemy Love Records. Go check them out. Give them a follower, a follower wherever you are on social media. I'm sure they greatly appreciate it. I mean, one of the things they talk about is how difficult it is to. You know, proliferate authentic music that you're writing without the help of a big record label. When, you know, like.

And then the realization, like you've got to see how many plays do you have to get on Spotify before you get a hundred bucks? I think it's insane. So, yeah, but I mean, if there's ever been a time that it's like easier for someone to access any Joe Schmode access, but do people do that or do they end up listening to the exact same thing? Oh no, I think they do. In fact, I think people's appetite for new music

is so strong that it's like, I occasionally have one of my kids or someone in the college show me a new group. This isn't normally a Christian group per se, but some kind of music. I really love indie singer-songwriter stuff. And by the time it takes me to kind of digest that album, there are 13 groups on.

I'm like, oh, I'm still listening to this one that you showed me four months ago. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, they're cool. Check out these ones. And I think there's some esteem to finding a new group. So they're always, but it's wild that I think the amount, like when I think of high school, I think there were a couple groups,

couple albums I listened to. Creed. Creed, yeah, Creed is hardcore. But then, like I wasn't, like I feel like the breadth of like music that like young people listen to today, it's way more, way more, I think. What's a good movie you've watched lately? Do you and your wife, is that one thing you do?

Do you ever? Yeah, we love. I sometimes wish my wife and I, I think we are quite interesting, but I sometimes wish we were more interesting and I could say something like, we get the kids to bed and we smoke cigarettes and read Chasted and together.

And I'm open to that. Blowing each other's mouth. Yeah, well, no. But I do to each other's mouth. Yeah, well no But I But I do love just yeah, I just love hanging out my wife and like watching Yeah, dude, it's so comforting. You know, I definitely try and not like pretend Yeah, that we don't watch TV like well, we don't watch TV You know like dude when the kids go to bed, we can't wait to like get in bed

and watch a show. What are you watching right now? Well, isn't it funny that we say so easily a show? I wonder if people were saying that 20 years ago. Show. We can't wait to get. Well, no one would say that. Obviously, specific, a specific show. Well, not just that, but I think like shows have replaced movies and like, yeah, who is it? I don't have time for two and a half hours thing.

Let's watch a show. Mm hmm. Doesn't a show mean not a movie? Well, I'm no. Yeah, I'm talking about a show. Yeah, I'm talking about a movie. I know. That's what I'm saying. I think show means a show. You know, people don't want to watch a two and a half hour movie and then they watch six episodes of whatever TV show. I'll tell you which one we like totally geeked out on.

I'm going to like need your look up the name of but it's like Not suppression or something, but it's like about No, well It's about like where they are their minds are split Are you talking about the the new one with comedy turns into a no you're talking about the new Amazon show with Chloe Grace Mortez, right is it periphery? No, you're talking about the new Amazon show with Chloe Grace Mortez, right? Is it periphery? No, no, no There their minds are split there's a I mean dude, it's it's it's like mind-bending. I'm light. What is it moon night? No, no, no, no. Yeah

Look at this, dude. I'm at Google on my fingertips Let's see Let's see. And when there were other web browsers to Google, I bet Thursday doesn't remember that. I don't remember dog. I don't remember dog. That was the first one my brother showed me. He's like, there's this thing called like a search engine. I used to be on Ozzy Mail.

Speaking of different emails, email, Ozzy Mail. There was Hotmail, Ozzy Mail. Severance. That's what it's called. Oh, okay, dude, so it's wild, bro. It's these people, they choose. Okay, so I've really, for some reason, liked dystopian. I love dystopian stuff.

Like, you know, sci-fi. Yep. My wife has come to like it, but this has some great actors in it, and I don't know any of their names, but the whole thing is like they severance choose willingly to sever their mind Their work life and their home life. Ah, so they have no memory of the home when they're at work

they have no memory of work and It would help them before yeah, right, right. That's it. That's the idea that both will be better But now is this an Apple TV thing? It looks like probably. Yeah, probably is it a sex thing? No Every time I there's I keep this like a recurring theme whenever we talk about TV. Is that sex in it? there's no there's no sex in it there there's a It's probably like a Homosexual like you know necessarily. Not present in family reviews. But it's more of like a mind bender.

People either love it or hate it. I told someone about it the other day like this is so weird. You know but like if you like weird men it's a good one. You know what else we just watched? The dropout. It was like a mini series. so it's just one season. It's about Theranos there's like a company said it was gonna test like blood with just a one drop Yep, and it was a red nose dude wild dude that girl from mean girls

Never saw that's like one of the main girls lowered her voice and everything. Yes dude. Yes. So creepy. But like something about like I think watching like especially my wife like she likes watching like these like I survived or some crazy thing. Bunch of sex in it though. No is there? There was no nudity in it that's for sure. Maybe maybe there's some I don't know I definitely definitely are not not that, Matt. All right, sweet. But there really is no new, and yeah, like, but I don't know. I don't want to give like a, I don't want to promote anything.

It's illustrative that one of the recommendations, having looked at Severance is The Matrix. So that does seem to fit in with that. It's definitely, yeah, like a dystopian. Nice sci fi. My son and I are watching Chernobyl right now. Do you know? Oh, yes, dude.

Wasn't that incredible? It's so good, man. In fact, we got on like a like a rabbit hole after that. We watch every YouTube we could like documentary on like Chernobyl now Really and the wolves of Chernobyl and like, you know freak animals they found in turn I mean, I couldn't stop watching it that if I couldn't stop that that was them. That was really well done. Yeah Yeah, so I don't know that we definitely We definitely like to watch something but I don't know know I feel like good shows are few and far between But especially like you can only stomach a certain amount of yeah like stuff, you know

That's the first thing I asked you and people are like, oh, this is yeah, I'm like So nudity is it what's interesting is that we seem as a culture to in one sense be cracking down on pornography, right? Here's a few examples McDonald's and Starbucks filter their Wi-Fi Hotel chains by and large do not allow and don't show pornographic shows YouTube just banned porn hubs account Instagram also banned porn hub, right? So there seems to be like we're poo pooing pornography But then it comes up like weeds in all of the shows that are being produced on Hulu and Apple and HBO. Yeah, that's a good point.

I mean, it has always been that way to a certain degree, man. I remember like as I remember, I watched Ghostbusters recently because I had this nostalgic memory of watching Ghostbusters as a kid and I was shocked that within the first 10 minutes, who's the very funny Ghostbusters? Is it Dan Aykroyd? Yeah, I'm not sure if that was who it was. Yeah, Dan Aykroyd was in it. No, but that's not who I mean.

Who's the kind of recluse, he's become a bit of a legend. Oh, Bill Murray. So Bill Murray's character, I'd say within the first 10 minutes, he's a university professor, you remember? That was a university professor. And he's talking a university student girl to give him oral sex.

He's like lying to her to get her to do this. And then someone walks in and interrupts it. That was the joke that was supposed to be funny. Can you imagine like no one would do that today? Because we would recognize like having someone in a powerful position, sexually manipulating someone is a scumbag thing to do. But that was that that was the setup. Yeah, dude, the 80ies, nineties stuff.

Like it really, there's been a few times where like we went back and watched something or like after the very first time we did this, we're like, we got it. I mean, you forget some of that stuff, like, you know, and then you're like, man, there was bad stuff in that. You know, I forgot about it. Um, it was less family movies. What do you mean back then? Yeah. Like when we were growing up, family movies were things like E.T. and Ghostbusters and things that had a lot of sexual stuff in it. Totally. Even like Goonies, that was like one of my favorites.

Yeah. There's masturbation jokes. Yeah. Yeah. All these like all these all these. Whereas today it's I felt like we went through a bit of a golden age with like family movies that you could trust your kids to now it does. I know that now it's like all those cartoons every time like there's some weird like agenda driven. Can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is tough. It's tough to find. And you think like, well, what else are we going to do? But because there have been times I take my kids like they're using Kate's phone to watch something. And then I'm like, give me the phone. phone no more phones what do you want me to do like does it and then like like let's play a game let's play war or something you

know I like to want to play something and it is like you do have to be more creative you know you realize like if you're gonna put your money where your mouth is like it means yeah being more creative yeah final question why should people consider sending their kids to Steubenville since you work there? Franciscan, I mean, it's funny. Everyone our age, man, like old people say still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? I don't know. It's in part because of what they used to say. Part because of the conferences.

These conferences all around the country are referred to as Steubenville conferences. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So people think, oh, that's the school. So we go to Steubenville. Yeah. I just think now the students would say more like, I go to Franciscan's. But when I was there, I was like, I go to Steubenville. I think it's because more recently, there's now Franciscan and there's Steubenville

and they're no longer the same thing. Yeah, maybe that's true. I wish Thursday would shut up. Oh. Cool. I'm just kidding. Why should people send their kids to Steuben symbol? Well, I'll tell you why like for me like this was a

you know, this was the whole reason like I left vagabond and then Kind of made this decision was like for my family. I wanted it to be very accessible and I wanted my kids to be able to Go there you know one I I wanted it to be very accessible, and I wanted my kids to be able to go there. You know, one, I mean, you've probably heard the statistic before, but there's this statistic that says most formative years of your life, there's two times, and they're almost identical in the formation, it's like zero to four, and 18 to 22, and I know there's something really scary

about that statistic that just says like, dude, you could have, like everything we're saying, done your homework, really put in a lot of good work as a parent and everything can be undone. I know that's free will, dude. I mean, I know that's a, God gave us free will, but like everything can be done, undone, like going to a place that is, you know, heathenistic and, you know, has like the formation you receive is much more than like what classes are you going to take? You

know, so, so I think like with that in mind, you know, like there's something to be said about like, you know what, like I'm going to send my kids to a school that is, you know, forming the whole person. I've been to a lot of other schools. I, you know, give talks at other colleges. I love college age ministry. And I could say good things about just about all Newman Guide Catholic schools. But the thing about Franciscan that I just think is, like the culture there is established. So for instance, like by and large, the student culture is, and when I was going there, I didn't know anyone,

and I was like saying, oh, I'm so worried to my friend that it's gonna be a bunch of dorks, there's a curfew and all this kind of stuff. And what I realized, even back then, and the students are way cooler now, like as far as just terms of, you know, just being genuinely like cool kids, but like they're normal people who wanna be holy.

So yes, there's different types, we have NCAA sports now, and there's some different things. There's really smart kids and just a lot of hipster kids. But the common denominator is almost all of them really want to be holy. So even the ones that aren't getting it totally right, their deepest desire is I want to be holy. And so there's these, we got these 53 households on campus that are like these.

Holy mackerel, I didn't realize there was that many. Yeah, I mean, so it's, it's like, you know, 70% of our student population are in these community groups, these prayer groups that like they've, they're self-initiated, self-run. Yeah, self-governed, but like we, we do things that like help the leadership and help the groups, but they're, you know, different flavors, some are more

sporty, some are more, you know, like musical, they all have different saints they take on and stuff like this, but like, you know, and some will like Friday night they have wings and Wednesday night they have rosaries, some have like, you know, things that you could be a part of almost every night of the week, but the general idea is I wanna find some people that I'm gonna run into battle with, and I could do that. And the guys that I was in my household with are guys that are still godfathers of my kids.

They're some of my best friends. They're guys that I would call if I was in trouble. And so there's something about like, committed to this formation that's ongoing outside of, you learn to be a man, to be a man of God outside of just intellect, which is really good there too. But I feel like culture-wise, you step onto the campus, you know right away you're in a kind of a special place.

Yeah. I forget, is it Tuesdays and Thursdays they have confession from say 7.30 to 8.30. I might be getting those times a bit off. Yeah, it's some of that. But I went the other day with the kids and I said, come on, let's go to confession. And I know you got to get there early so you can get in. There was at Least 50 students ahead of me like we were all the way wrapped around

And that's all the time Yes, I mean they have four masses every day. I mean there's sacraments Two three times or the confession through through two three times a week. I mean it really is wild how You know and it does feel like good to like normalize that. Like back when I was here, my mom would always be like, there's a positive peer pressure there at Steubenville. You know? And yes, you know what I mean?

But like there's something good to just normalize the idea of like, I wanna be holy. Yeah, I wanna have friends that are normal and funny and you know, support me in my life. But like the main thing I want is to be holy because it makes all the difference. And so it's inspiring, honestly. Even just as an older guy working with these students

who have so much passion for their faith and so much hope for the church. They're giving themselves all kinds of apostolates and really it's inspiring. Beautiful. Bob, thanks for being on the show. Yeah, man, thanks for having me. Thank you.