Pints With Aquinas - LIVE From SEEK w/ Fr. Mike Schmitz

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Matt talks with Fr. Mike Schmitz about New Year's resolutions, the Bible, and how to repent. Show Sponors:  https://ascensionpress.com/fradd https://strive21.com/matt

G'day everybody, welcome to Pines with Aquinas. I have a big giveaway that I'm doing this month to try to get more support for the channel and all that we plan on doing this year. You've probably seen this Pines with Aquinas beer stein. This month, January, and this month only, we will be giving this beer stein away for free to anybody who becomes an annual supporter over at matfrad.locals.com. When you join matfrad.locals.com right now, you'll get access to free audiobooks, exclusive podcasts, you'll have the ability to ask my guests questions. You also get access to our quarterly newspaper that's sent to your front door called The Jill. And we even pay the shipping for that one, by the way, whether you live in Australia or wherever. So we're really excited about that. We have a lot of big things coming up this year that I can't yet reveal, but it's going to cost a lot of money.

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this free beer stein is only for people who become annual supporters in January. You just have to pay shipping, but we'll send it wherever. So if you live in Europe or Australia or China, we can send it there to you as well. Huge thank you. I think locals is actually social media. It's kind of what social media should have been but never became. So when you join us over on Locals, you're not just getting those free perks that I spoke about, you're also joining a online community of like-minded Catholics who kind of give each other the benefit of the doubt and ask for prayers and share their struggles. It's been really quite beautiful. So thank you to those who would consider supporting matphred.locals.com.

And if you can't do that, you could at least subscribe. So please subscribe, hit the bell button. Thanks so much. Thursday is one of the coolest people I've ever met. No, I'm so grateful I got to in person meet him the other day. Actually, I doubled back so I could go say hi and shake his hand. Yeah, he's still single ladies so it might not be the feminine thing to do but still you could just go up to him and say, What are you doing? And he might, how are you?

I'm doing well. Good. Yeah, I think so. How are you doing? I also think that I'm doing well. Yeah, I think so. How are you doing? I mean not like that. Not in this Joey way. I also think that I'm doing well. Yeah. Whenever people say like what's going on? I'm like, it's way too much. Yeah, but I am well. It is one of those um Just like I don't know how to answer that question. I mean typically even if it was like you and I talking about this like how are you doing?

Like I don't know. I mean, I think things are going well. I think I'm trying to do God's will. Yeah There's times where it's just like a little bit overwhelming, but I'm not gonna complain because it's good. You know, just I think good kit... Good doesn't always mean not hard. Yeah, you know things are going well. I wonder if you have this reaction when people come out to me and they say, hey, you're doing good work. I'm like, I don't know if that's true. I said, I hope so.

Yeah, no, yeah, me too, always. And then there's, yeah, man, yeah, it's a tough one. How are you feeling health-wise? Well, I'm on the upswing of a little illness. I brought it up a couple times over the course of this week, but at Christmas time, I got to go home with my family, which is awesome, and my family is the cesspool of germs and so the entire time I was like this is great like I am impervious to this illness that they all

have and then the day I left I woke up like oh I am not impervious. I've succumbed and so then I had to wait actually it was a blessing because I got to I was gonna go do a bunch of more work more stuff and I had to just go back to Duluth and I put a sign on the door saying basically father Mike sick stay away and I got to just pray and be sick and just rest a bit when I put that sign on my door the kids don't see that's very frustrating so I could do that because it was break still if it wasn't break they'd still be knocking which is, see that's the thing. It's very frustrating. Also, I could do that because it was break still. If it wasn't break, they'd still be knocking,

which is fine, because that's how it goes. What are you doing, I think you said you're four days into some resolution, or what are you doing? It's day four, January 4th. So, I have a brother, I have a couple of brothers, but one brother who said, hey, you know what I'm gonna do with this, starting January 1st, I'm gonna go back to intermittent fasting, and I'm gonna have

alcohol-free January. Good for him. And I was like nice nice and then I let it go. Because I did last time I was with you like on your show. I've been doing I was like maybe what two years into intermittent fasting. I'd be doing it consistently was great and then there was this like nutrition challenge at our gym and I was like I'm not getting enough protein so in order to get enough protein I need to eat all day you know kind of a situation so I fill off the intermittent fasting try to start it up again I'm like this is hard and so I then I texted my brother and said Mark I'm in so like I'm gonna do the intermittent fasting no alcohol this January and so that's what we're doing

now because of that I may I may do carnivore as well like after this week this week is kind of rough when it comes to like I just scrounging for food to eat basically on a regular like all the students who are here like basically when it's break time or Meal time it's like what place is open working you get food right now. That's that's been my experience So for those who don't know my wife was here last year giving a talk on suffering and she told the focus people she needed A seat because she couldn't stand the whole time because her knees would dislocate and she would hold on dislocate when she's I think this has happened three or four times when she has knelt for Eucharist one of her knees dislocated so she's

had a ton of health issues I want to get into it yeah but the point is she's been doing carnivore for three and a half four months right now and she's off all of her meds all of she and people have said she looks totally different well yeah so I So I am doing, and I like this, I like not being like, I like not doing a resolution for the whole year because you know we're not gonna do it. Yep. I like January. Yep. So I'm doing carnivore and whiskey. That's great. So that's the thing is like I did at the very beginning of this fall semester, I told our missionaries got to campus, the old missionaries came back, the new missionaries arrived and as they arrived I'm like you guys guys, I just started, I'm doing carnivore.

It feels great. I had two steaks yesterday. And I did it for three days. Oh, you did and then you fell off. And I was like, I need a beer. I'm feeling great. So now, now because of January, I'm like, no, there is no beer. All there is is going to be meat and eggs, right?

That's it? Well, it's all animal products. So you could do dairy, you could, like I did two steaks and that's it and I felt great. But I think, like I look forward to the whiskey at the end of the day, that's my like reward, right? And it's just like, I might have a single shot of whiskey and that's it, but it hits me harder than when I was eating all the crap.

Why is that, I don't know why. Well I think, well one also reason is that when you're intermittent fasting and you have any kind of beverage of any sort, I think that your body just absorbs it faster so with that's water I'm like whoa gotta go to the bathroom again or coffee like okay I feel more alive no my brother speaking to my brother he just got he just retired and from the military and so we got him as a siblings we got him a cold plunge oh

wonderful and he had said like when he was he's number of times he did the cold pledge and he said that uh He would get up within the first five minutes. He'd get in the whole plunge He worked up to seven minutes in in the cold and then he'd work out after that and warm up by just moving Joe Rogan said something recently that I thought was super profound He said before you do that. Can you for my comfort? Please do the this is not medical advice thing This is not medical advice. This is on Minecraft. Well, here's the thing my My dad's a doctor and my mom was a nurse and my sister I have three siblings who are doctors So this is pretty close to but but officially

No, no, I'm just kidding. So one thing he says I really know nothing He says the hardest thing you do is the hardest thing you'll do Yeah So if the hardest thing you do is the hardest thing you'll do. So if the hardest thing you do is parallel parking, you're not going to do anything more interesting or difficult than that. So I do love this idea of throwing yourself into a freezing cold bath or having a sauna until you think you're going to die, which you shouldn't do. That's not advice.

No, that's not advice either. Don't do that. But it is, there is something to that. And I think there's a kind of resurgence of that, isn't there? Yeah, I think so. I don't know if Gen Z are cooler than most generations, but that I know, because the rest are dead, but it seems like they might be. There seems to be this divide. You even have, you either have the blue-haired, ripped-jean Satanist women

who are making themselves ugly. Like they weren't ugly and then they made themselves ugly. The fellas do it too. And then you've got these like radical Christians who are like, and then they made themselves ugly. The fellas do it too. And then you've got these like radical Christians who are like, I have pornography sucks. I want to fast. I want to be better. I'm seeing a lot like people in my son's generation They're just way cooler than I was. Well, there's a sense of like you said that I think I think what it I don't know What do I know? Not medical stuff. That's for sure. But I also don't know when it comes to culture I wonder if that pursuit of something uncomfortable is because, well, two things. One is because comfort has become boring

and I realize that it's mediocrity. And so the second part is if I do something difficult, it's not for difficulty's sake. I think that's kind of the chest beating kind of a, sometimes you can, sometimes when I listen to someone like David Goggins, I gotta be hard you gotta stay hard man get out there and do the hard thing like okay that's fine but there's a purpose to it and the purpose to it has to be there and that's one things

like when it comes to intermittent fasting versus spiritual fasting yes I believe that it's an act of faith so intermittent fasting is like all the some of the studies show that because of this you are more alert because of this you're more dead added to that so of this you are more alert, because of this you're more da-da-da-da-da. So I believe that there's an effect because of this cause. When it comes to spiritual fasting, the question I have to ask is, do I have faith that if I fast from coffee, if I fast from alcohol, if I fast from food, or whatever the thing is, fast from my device, that there is actually a spiritual effect? Yes. It's like we have more certainty and confidence that the carnal benefits will be there, but we're not so sure about the spiritual.

Yeah, it's that same thing when it comes to prayer. Every time I pray, it's an act of faith. I have an act of faith that this is worth it, I'm taking this time, all I'm going to do right now is talk to the Lord or listen to His voice, and I'm having the confidence or the faith that that matters. And again same kind of thing like I'm gonna give up this one thing I'm gonna sleep on the floor tonight whatever the thing is they give me something super small I'm not gonna put anything about something as small as like I'm not gonna sweeten my coffee. Yeah. And I'm gonna give that to

God and I know it's small but I trust that it matters to him. Yeah. I want to give a big shout out to Exodus 90 who are just around the corner. If you're a fella and you want to be better than you currently are, because look at you, you're a shabby mess, walk over to the Exodus 90 booth and sign up. I'll head over there too. If you start today, it's Exodus 86. Well I crushed an Exodus 21 once. You've never seen anybody crush it.

That is amazing. So originally Exodus, I think their literature would generally said cold or lukewarm showers. Now it says cold showers, but I remember when it said or lukewarm showers. So when I did it, I was like, no, it said or lukewarm showers. So speaking of soft.

So I have a question for you. We often hear, it's a bit different than what we've been talking about, but this is the problem with a 45 minute interview. I want to chat with you for six hours. Come to Steubenville and have a much more enjoyable chat. I know, that's what I want, but. Thursday doesn't let me.

Okay, bastard. That's a lie. We often hear of the dangers of taking ourselves too seriously, and rightly so. Peter Craeft is one of the most enjoyable men I've ever met because that man does not take himself too seriously Yeah, but we don't often talk about the dangers of not taking ourselves Seriously enough and here's what I mean

I was just down in Australia been in was invited there to go get some talks and it occurred to me I should not say I'm going to Sydney to give talks I should say I've been invited by the bishop to proclaim the gospel in Sydney, right? And that is what I did and that's what I began to say to give talks. I should say, I've been invited by the bishop to proclaim the gospel in Sydney." And that is what I did and that's what I began to say. But there was something in me that wanted to retreat from that. Oh, no, don't think you're too special. I had a cigar with a priest the other day and we were talking about this and he said, and you may have heard this, and I'm sure you know the priest say this, yeah, I'm no Father Mike Schmitz. But

he realized that was the wrong way to think. And it's like, so talk to us about why we should take ourselves more seriously. And that means how we dress. You'll see these fellas or sheilas walking in with pajama pants. This is not acceptable. Don't do that. Or just the way they think about themselves in salvation history. Why is it that we...it's almost like I put myself down because I'm either trying to be humble or I actually don't really believe that God has called me to anything great

and I really shouldn't talk like that. Yeah. But I think that's a lack of humility somehow. Oh, it totally is. I mean, well, I think both are a lack of humility. I think both taking yourself too seriously or taking yourself not seriously enough, both of those are a lack of humility

because what is humility? Humility is simply being willing to tell the truth. And so I wanna go to the first thing of taking myself too seriously. There is an aspect where I was thinking about this even getting ready for this conference. Like man, I remember when I first conference, like I showed up all goofy and like,

I would do goofy stuff, I'd do a cartwheel because it's like, that's why I feel like doing a cartwheel. The students were like, Father, do a cartwheel. I'm like, okay, no problem. And now if someone were to say that, I'd be like, I can like doing a cartwheel. The students were like, Father, do a cartwheel. I'm like, okay, no problem. And now if someone were to say that, I'd be like, I can't do a cartwheel. I have the number one podcast on Apple. For at least two days. We'll do a cartwheel together after this. We'll see who's is better.

I can only do a round off or else I'll tear my hamstring. Then let's not worry about it. Continue. Okay, but that's the first part is I realized that there's an aspect of willingness. Like you mentioned Dr. Peter Kreif, right? This willingness to not take yourself so seriously and just enjoy whatever that, I don't know, what is it? I mean, I still enjoy life, but there's that, there can be a preoccupation with other people think,

which is vanity, right? The vanity is the inordinate preoccupation with what other people think. So I ought to be aware of what other people think. That's having emotional intelligence, that's being kind to people. But the inordinate preoccupation with what other people think is the kind of thing that I think holds us back

from true humility, where it's like, no, be goofy and look stupid without caring. So how has your platform rising affected that? Because that must be it. Because it's like, it might be vanity, right? But it's also this sense like, okay, there's this responsibility upon me. Responsibility, yeah.

And so I'm trying to discern, am I being responsible or am I being vain? Let me tell you, okay, this is the weirdest, one of the weirdest like social media exchanges. It was just so out of the blue. At one point, I was making an Ascension Presents video, and I coughed at the beginning of it. I'm like, oh, I got the black lung pop,

reference to Zoolander, right? And so, and they put it in there, and they edited it, and I was like, oh, it's kind of funny. I got this barrage of social media people, do you realize that there is an orgy scene in Zoolander? How dare you reference that movie? I'm like, actually, I didn't remember that that because I watched it 20 years ago but the movie's

really funny and that's all you know but it was this thing of like oh wow I better be careful because if I you know accidentally reference something that like I was also connected with it and I'm like man and that was it was I don't think that was necessarily a matter of trying to be overly vain or something it was like oh I've got to be careful And I think that that can sneak into or slip into something else, right? Where instead of being just, I'm taking care because I think it's wise to be careful. I think it's loving to be careful with each other. You can simply, what's the word, instead of just being careful you can become

fake, artificial, artificial. I often say that for podcasters, whoever, people give them talks, if you try to sound like somebody else, if you start slicing away parts of your personality to make it acceptable you'll become as interesting as dentist art, you know, like, and no one will care. So I need you to be big goofy you. I want to be whoever the hell I am and then go, I said to you earlier, part of the problem with criticism is they're not wrong. People like, you suck.

I'm like, I know that. I know. Well, that's the thing is like, I really believe that if there's something that's truly false, it's like a pin. Like it can hurt, it pokes you and it kinda hurt. But then it, that's over. If it's just completely false, that's not true.

But a lot of times, the falsehood has a little bit of truth in it. And so it's like a barbed hook. That's right. Where it goes in, then it sticks there because I'm like, yeah, but it's true. Yeah, and that's when you need a spiritual direct. Yeah, right. Only part of it's true. That whole thing isn't true. Especially some of those self-accusations and some of those self-condemnations. or other people saying something like you're a big idiot like yeah That's you're not wrong, but you are rude right exactly that you know I notice this with your show is is I Think that our conversations that we used to have like in between at conferences and stuff More and more. I think you and I don't know if this is it. Let me correct me if I'm wrong. Yeah. You intentionally bring that behind stage to your show in the sense of like you would say

stuff like I don't even know like why should we read the Bible? Like you didn't say that but I'm just saying it as an example and then you'll bring that to your show like yeah I mean here's something I'm wrestling with as opposed to saying okay here's my answer for why we should read the Bible. And there's something that- I don't intentionally do that, but I hope that I do that. Well, I thought you were like, intentionally strive to be, I don't wanna be artificial. We need to be careful, but I don't wanna be artificial,

so I'm gonna strive to be more genuine, even if that means saying something that like, no. I imagine that comedians feel how I sometimes feel after a podcast, like just like, ugh, shame. I shared too much, I shouldn't have said that. I feel like, but what's the alternative? You're gonna be so careful that you'll be plastic? That's the thing, it's like, I think, okay,

so one of the things that is so interesting, remember we were talking with a couple, we were doing this marriage prep, and I was sharing with them how important it was to be careful with each other and He kind of like had it's kind of like he tightened up a little bit and like okay Here's what I think you just heard me say I Think you just heard me say you need to be like artificial that you need you can't be relaxed around your bride That's not what I mean. I mean

Be careful with her. In the sense of don't just say or do whatever is coming out of your guts. It's just like, take care of her. That's all I mean. Just take care of her. And I think there's something different between taking care of the people around us, or who might be listening,

and being artificial, and being like fake. So the people like, you know, they buck against convention because it's like well I'm gonna throw off the shackles of my you know mores or the mores of this time. And that could be just reactionary. Yeah. There's no virtue in that necessarily. Right. Unless it's I'm striving to something truer and something actually even better than this whatever culture is holding us back from. But I think, I don't know if that necessarily means like unbridled conversation or unbridled action, but I think it means bridled conversation, bridled action. So it's powerful, but it goes where

I want it to go. And it does what it, you know that sense of like bridled, like a horse. Well, I'll get at it this way and you tell me. I think one of the nice things about kind of being my own boss and selling this dinky little podcast is- Matt, can you just move in a little to the mic? And he's the professional, right? Yeah, I think one of the joys of it is I don't have any kind of team telling me what to say.

Now that can be dangerous. But it does make it more exciting I think. Yeah, totally. There's a freedom there. There's a sense of, I think that's probably one of the reasons too, like when you have people on, you just let them talk and you get to talk and respond and you get to ask the questions. I want to be inside the conversation, not outside of it, knowing how it should go and what the right answers are. That's way more enjoyable. So going back to what you said earlier, speaking about being on the conversation

about not taking ourselves seriously enough, and that sense of like, not realizing, I love how you said, I'm gonna go give some talks. No, I'm gonna proclaim the gospel back in Australia. Amen. Like, no, that's what I'm gonna go do. There, it's the, you've heard that story. I'm not gonna go through the whole thing,

because you know what, where there's this cathedral being built, and the guy walks up to the one person carrying bricks and saying, what are you doing? I'm hauling these bricks from here to there. Next person will like, what are you doing? Well, I'm stacking these bricks and building this building. And that third person, what are you doing? I am passionate a cathedral in which people worship God for generations to come.

Like that sense of like, you're doing the same task. How do you see yourself doing this? Like, no, I'm crafting a life. And that's why I just think like a thing like this, thing like Seek where there's all these college students. What are you doing? I'm majoring in economics. I'm getting my teaching degree. I'm pre-med. No, I am here to strive to do God's will in everything. I'm here to write a story, to become a kind of person in my life

in this moment that I can be proud of, that God can be proud of. I mean, something like that, just like that sense of what's your vision for your life? I think that's right. How do you think our vision and view of the saints is going to change, let's say in 100 years from now? Because St. Anthony of Padua,

I don't think had a X account. Like he wasn't, we don't have everything, we don't know all the stories about when he was really upset or when he said women aren't funny accidentally. Stuff like that, you know what I mean? Like people, that's not out there. Have you ever said something like that? Sorry, just gonna go back.

No, I think it's true. I don't think there's any funny stand up comedians. Haven't met one. Okay, Ellen DeGeneres. No, not for me. No, back in the 80s, she has a stand up, a special that I'm guessing that if you would have watched it. I'm open to watching it. It's not all beautiful, but most of them look to be Those are the beautiful sorry

They all congregate together What advice would you have for those open to priesthood or open to married life and then I'll give some advice You know, I once I always say this about discernment Ever since the sermon to has become popular no one's made a decision. Yeah, Father Bobbidard. So he told you that, you told me that, I say it all the time. But I do give you credit. I say, the priest told Father Matt. The priest told Matt Brad once this. I know I would say that. I'd say that there's a reality that in discernment there has to be decision. In the image I always have is... so a lot of times, two images. One is algebra and one is sighting and a gun. So the

algebra image is like I'm looking at this algebra problem and I need to solve for X. Well there's a Y, there's a Z, there's a W, and I just need more data. I actually can't solve for X right now with the amount of data that I have. And so, going on a nun run, visiting a convent, visiting a seminary, whatever that thing is, dating a girl, dating a guy, that is trying to just get more data.

And a lot of times, I know for myself, this is what I did, when I went to the seminary, I was putting so much pressure on myself, because I heard people say, I showed up at the seminary and I knew. When I went to the seminary, I was putting so much pressure on myself, because I heard people say, I showed up at the seminary and I knew. Or I went to the convent and I was home. It felt like home. Yeah, and I was like, that's great.

But when I went there, I just, well, like, okay, this is where you guys live. Okay, and this is what, and when you take the pressure off of yourself and realize, okay, I'm just gathering data. So as I'm praying, as I'm reading scripture, as I'm visiting places, talking to people, there's no pressure. I'm just gathering data. So I'm solving for X, but I don't know what W is yet.

So go to the seminary, like, okay, this is what that's like. Okay, interesting. You can talk to a priest. Okay, that's what this is like. So that's one thing. One, take the pressure off yourself, just gathering data. The second one is, I don't know, you ever sighted in a gun? Have I what? Ever sighted in a gun? Yes. So, so what people might not know is, is if you're gonna go deer hunting or something like this, I don't know, you ever sighted in a gun? How about what? Ever sighted in a gun? Yes. So what a lot of people might not know is if you're going to go deer hunting or something

like this, you typically have a rifle. And the rifle's probably been in storage for a little bit since the last hunting season. So what you typically do a week or three before the season opens is you take that rifle to a range and you line it up, you put the crosshairs right on the target, and you don't say, okay good, we're all good, and walk away. You put it right on the target, and you actually have to pull the trigger.

And that's the thing people miss. It's like, well I don't wanna do it wrong. Well no, no, no, this isn't opening day. You're not lining up a deer or an elk. Like you're lining up the target. This is a low stakes situation. This is not God calling you to make a leap. This is just take a step you're lining up the target. This is a low stakes situation. This is not God calling you to make a leap. This is just make a step, line up on the target

in a safe, safe-ish, controlled environment, pull the trigger, are you off? Great, make an adjustment. That's the thing is like so often we get it to our minds that like if I make the wrong decision, it's done. Well yeah, on opening day, but it's not opening day today. This is your sighting in the gun. So Thomas Aquinas would talk about this because I know how much you're like him.

As you would say like that sense of you line it up pull the trigger make an adjustment line it up pull the trigger and that's life. Not a direct quote from Aquinas I don't think. They didn't have rifles back then. I got advice from a Capuchin bishop once and I've said it before on the show, but it was so helpful and I really want everyone to hear this. I was discerning the Capuchins, Franciscan Capuchins, and they're so cool-looking, but I was afraid that I was attracted to them because they were cool-looking. And then I once had a Capuchin bishop say to me without me saying that to him because I hid that deep in the bowels of my soul.

He said, don't be afraid if you're attracted to us because we look cool. He's like, when you're attracted to a woman, it's usually for superficial reasons, and that's good and fine. It has to proceed past that. So I just want to say today, if there are religious orders here who look cool

and that's why you're attractive, that's okay. Isn't that good advice? It's such good advice. Because again, sometimes we short circuitcircuit the process by saying, well, I'm not starting with a pure intention yet. Well, yeah, you won't. You never will. You never ever will. You might, but... Actually... Okay. Okay. Okay, so I knew a couple that were dating. They actually... He proposed to her.

In the process of all this happening, he proposes they're engaged to get married. He says, you know, I don't find her attractive at all. Yeah. And he's like, he said, but... Did he tell her that? Well, he said, he said, but I know that like she's such a good heart. She has such a noble person. So if I was a noble person, noble person, it shouldn't matter that I'm not attracted to her. Like the idea of kissing her doesn't appeal to me at all, but I should be such a good man that

that doesn't matter. And thankfully, thanks be to God, that it did not happen. That they broke up and it was awesome. He's married, she's married other people who do find them attractive and that's the great news. But that sense of like, he thought, no if I was noble enough, I would find the ugliest, most annoying woman. No, he thought she was a great character. He shouldn't be attracted to her external. Like no, that's part of marriage is a not only an attraction to the person, but to the person. Because we're body and soul, you know? I have this advice. Now it because we're body and soul, you know? I have this advice, now it's a bit hyperbolic,

but sometimes I like hyperbole because it ends up making a point. I think these people should consider quitting college, get married before they're ready, move into a bubble, and then have more children than they can afford. And I can defend all of those premises. That's great.

Don't you think? I don't know. Like maybe stay in college, but maybe not. I chatted with a fellow here yesterday, he might be out here. He said he just got married, he just got engaged. Went good for you. And he said he's getting engaged and married in 2026.

I'm like, that's a terrible idea. You will fornicate. It's a long time. You should quit anything and just marry her like next week. What are you doing? My first, I did my first or second year on campus. So it was 19 years ago. A freshman couple came up to me the fall

of their freshman year and said, father we're engaged, can we do marriage prep with you and you marry us this summer. I was like, okay let's talk about this. It's good that there were several months. I mean you need to take time. But I'm like they were freshmen. And they're dated in high school. It's beautiful. So basically I was like, okay well let me just check some boxes first. Like, what are your, do your families know each other? Oh, they know each other really well.

Do they approve of this? Like oh yeah, they actually, they're on board, they really like this idea. Like okay, at least the people who are in their lives were like, I don't know who you are, I met you literally an hour ago, right? But they think it's a good idea, the people who love them. Yep. So they get married between their freshman and sophomore year of college They get pregnant their junior year of college. She gets into med school the year after they graduate

They went to med school They actually she was classmates with my little brother because my little brother went to med school there too And yeah, there they are They're the married couple with the baby who's like already to her first year of med school now They have I think maybe four or five kids and they've been married 19 or 18 years. Yeah. And like yeah, no one would look at that and say like that's a great idea.

Because you're signing, and here's the thing, because you're signing yourself up for a lifetime of suffering and pain. But pause, what do you think waiting is gonna do? Yeah, it's not like that's without the cross. Exactly, every vocation has the cross. And no, there's foolish crosses and there's wise crosses. So I don't know if you know this about me. I got fired on my birthday a month before my wedding which made me both unemployed

and illegal. Oh really? I didn't know the illegal part. Yeah I was illegal and unemployed. When I called my wife's dad I'm like sorry. So. And then we got married, it was awesome. So I really need my green card now. Actually, this day, 18 years ago, I proposed to my wife. Really? Isn't that cool? Congratulations. Yeah, and a bit of advice, bit of advice to the fellas out there.

You may have heard this, but I called my mate, Mark Bennett, because I was having some really cold feet. I'm like, I asked for all these signs, and I got none of them. And I'm like, I'm just a bit nervous. And these are his exact words over the phone to me. He said, are you, what the frigging hell are you talking about, you idiot?

She's better than you anyway. You need to propose before she finds that out. That afternoon. Really? Yeah, today. Today, 18 years ago. That's amazing. I'm so glad I did it.

There's something about, again, especially something like this with our students with everyone here where there is There's a wisdom in making sure that the person you want to marry That you check some of those boxes, right? So typically even the secular world says the big four that you have to have agreement on the big four the big four are Faith need to have agreement on the big four. The big four are faith, you need to have agreement on faith.

Family, finances, and intimacy issues. Like these are four areas where if you are gonna saddle yourself with the other person and they're gonna saddle themselves with you, you have to have some place of agreement. You have to have the same worldview when it comes to faith, when it comes to family, when it comes to finances, and when it comes to intimacy issues.

This is really, really important. If there's no red flags, that's wonderful. I think sometimes the image though is if we're in agreement on faith, like we're united, we're Catholics, we're passionate about the Lord, A, nothing else matters, and B, that means we're going to have a pain-free life. That means we're going to have a marriage unlike my my parents without all the heartache and all the suffering. But the reality of course is that every vocation is a call to come follow Jesus and die in one way or another. And so yes, hopefully you have agreement on these four areas. Hopefully

that you're united in faith and family and finances and intimacy. But also that means so that you can weather those storms together with that faith. It means so that you're not necessarily alone in all those things because you're marrying a broken person, they're marrying a broken person. And like you even mentioned, Cameron for the last three years, it's like an amazing woman, you're united. She's so good, I love her, she's my best friend, but it was brutal. Having to carry the cross with her. And that's what's gonna happen. And a lot of the time I was just being dragged because

I wasn't man enough to actually walk when God was giving me the grace to walk. Yeah. I'd like to say I did this with such grace. I loved her well. I was a shit a lot of the time. Yeah. I was not good. And that's... I was frustrated. I was angry. I had these thoughts like I didn't sign up for this like all this stuff and then I would think that and I would realize that I thought that and I'd feel shame for that and when you're in shame it's not like well now I'm in a place to really love her well. So thank God for Bob Schuetz and his good ministry because that helped us a great deal. So much healing that's necessary

because but I think even having that that mindset of even if I make all the right choices we are going to have to pick up our cross and we're gonna have to pick it up together. The problem is you don't know that until the cross has been thrust upon you. Like it's easy to nod sagely. Yeah. And go yeah I suspect that this will happen. True. But then it happens you're like I'm drowning. Yeah that's what we meant. What do I do? Yeah. But I think there's something about that sense of so our intention is we're trying to build a church and a new wind center up at Minnesota Duluth. Like, so our intention is we're trying to build a church and a Newman Center up at Minnesota Duluth. And we want to name the church Our Lady of Victory.

And I think Our Lady of Victory is awesome, not only for many reasons. One is because the patroness of our diocese is Our Lady of the Rosary, and her original name is Our Lady of Victory. The story behind it about this battle of clash of cultures here on campuses where we have a clash of cultures between the secularism and in the church. But also because on a college campus, Our Lady of Victory,

pretty cool. But as part of Our Lady of Victory, we need to have this like a prominent side chapel of some sort dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows. Okay. And because it's like, okay, here's the thing. Yes, Jesus is victorious. That Jesus is on your side. He is, he fights on your behalf. That he is the, he's the victor. He's the one who wins. Our Lady of Victory. Awesome. At the same time, to convince and to be, put this in front of our students always, and yet your life will never be free of the cross. Like even if you have the highest call, the highest call to be Mary, the mother of God, your life will never be free of sorrow. Yeah, see to push back on that. All of that's true. And yet Mary was sinless. And a lot

of the stuff I'm in is because of my own stupidity. One of my favorite quotes in the world is, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you're stupid and you make bad decisions. Can I tell you an equally good quote that I know you will love? When God placed a call on your life, he factored in your stupidity. Yes. Oh man, there are so many times. Again, we're talking about like, it seems like right now, other than mentioning Cameron and the struggle and you mentioning how sometimes you're just like, I'm'm horrible I'm not the husband that she needs right now yeah I'm not

sharing sharing like my shame and we're not going to either but like but no that sense of like there are times where I'm just like Lord how is this going to be worked out like not just outside of me like how are you gonna raise the money to build this place or how are we gonna reach these students like that's those are great questions and I get to say them out loud in public. There's many times like I went to confession within the last year and I was like father I do not know how I am going to get unstuck from this place. I don't know how and he said he said this he said it

was so consoling he said you don't know but God knows and I was just like oh he said you don't know how this story is gonna play out but he does you don't know but God knows. And I was just like, oh he says you don't know how this story is gonna play out but he does. You don't know how you're gonna get unstuck but he does. And I was just like, oh because I there's a there's a depth of like pain in some of these areas where I'm like, God I don't know how in the world are you going to heal this thing? How in the world are you gonna do this? I need I was so grateful. I come back to that many, many times. Just that you don't know, but he does.

One thing I wanna ask you about is, you know, I actually went to confession to my spiritual father, Father Boniface, who's the man recently. And I confessed a bunch of things that I was deeply ashamed about. And then one of the things I confessed, I just kinda threw it out there, was cynicism.

Like I'm just frustrated. I'm frustrated with the Pope. I'm frustrated with what's going on within the church. I'm frustrated with people who tell me that I'm wrong to be frustrated. Or that I'm like a heretic, because I'm just like have serious questions about like say the recent document and things like that.

And I said, I feel like I'm getting cynical. And that's what he zoomed in on. And one of the things he said which was so beautiful is, pray to Our Lady, she sees further than you see and she's not cynical. Isn't that what you said? She sees further than you. She sees more than you. So she knows something you don't.

It reminded me of Gandalf's, not even the wisest, to see how things end. So here's my question. What is your advice for Catholics who are kind of disillusioned because of this pontificate, because of their bishop, their priest, their own stupidity, I don't know. How do we get beyond the platitudes? Because I feel like in the beginning we were saying things

like we don't leave Peter because of Judas, and that was enough back then. But now it just feels insulting. So what is your advice to people who are either willing, ready to leave the church, they're willing to go to orthodoxy because they're like that's the next best bet Maybe I can talk myself into that or they're like, I'm not gonna go anywhere, but I'm so disheartened I don't know what to do. Well a couple things one thing is I would say

That the the truth That you don't leave Peter because of Judas It's still true. Even if you've heard it a bunch of times Like it's still true. even if the situation circumstances have changed. So we have to ask the question like let me let me like back up and say are there things that I'm like what in the world like that I think that's a foolish thing to say I think that's a foolish thing to do I think that's an error in some ways whatever the thing is but if I have studied the history of the church, I realized, okay, there's a lot of... This isn't anything new and this is part of the thing of like, again, that's not

meant to be a platitude. I just think that truth doesn't change because of our circumstances. And so if it's still... if it is true that Jesus Christ founded his church and he's protected it for 2,000 years and led it for 2,000 years. That's not gonna change because I'm tired. That's not gonna change because I'm frustrated. It's not gonna change because I'm having to deal with this for the 10th year or 20th, whatever the thing is. And I would say that that, that, I mean, we know that when it comes to, well, any part of our life is at the beginning of a season, Job, the story of Job, the beginning of his entry into suffering and desolation, he says, he says, bless me the name of the

Lord. You know, I was born naked, I'll die naked, blessed be the name of the Lord. The suffering continues and then he starts saying like, ah Lord, I don't get this, I'm angry, I'm gonna talk to you. He doesn't curse God but his song changes. But God didn't change in that. He just got tired. And that's the thing is I think like, okay, what's the... has the truth changed or am I just tired of living in a broken world? And I think that's some... that's what I go back to is when I... again, not even the wise can see all ends. And I don't think it's, I think platitudes get revealed for being empty if they're empty. But they're also revealed to be true if they're true.

But the question I have to ask in those moments is, has truth changed or am I just tired? That is really great advice, thank you very much. Praise God. I'd like you to speak to this. I think we all are spending emotional and intellectual energy on things that we have no control over and it's exhausting us to the point that we no longer put emotional and intellectual energy into the things that God has given us authority over. So if I spend my time worried about the Pope or worried about the

set of accounts, so worried about God, you know what's happening in the war in Israel or Ukraine, I have, I don't know if I can do a single thing about that. But I have been given authority over my wife and my children. I've been commanded to love them. Talk to them. That's it. And not just from your point of view, because we all do this. Like I wanna love scripture more than I love political radio. Right. So I know this. This is one of the things that happens to all of us. Our circle of interest vastly outstrips our circle of influence. That's just 100%. I mean always. And so what I need to be reminded of is when I, because I get ramped up too, I'm like I have the arguments in my head. Like I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna say this. I can't believe this. I'm arguing with

people I just listened to on the radio or I don't listen to radio but like on the internet or whatever and I realized, wait a second, I need... this happens so often. Typically, well it happens all the time but a lot of times it happens when I'm trying to write a talk or write a homily that, here I'm writing the homily, writing the talk. This is about the, this is God's Word for this weekend or whatever the thing is. I'm writing, writing, writing and then I get this wild hair about Israel. I get a wild hair about what you're talking about, the Pope. And I start having this argument about this whole thing and I realized, wait, wait, wait, that is not what

God has asked me to do. I need to write a homily for this weekend and so like kind of like you're saying when it comes to, wait, is that what God is calling me to? Or, okay, here's my wife, here are my kids, here are our students who are knocking at the door. We're like, okay, they need you, they need you now. No one needs to hear what you, I mean, here's the PG version of a saying my uncle would always say.

He said this so often that I'm like, he said, opinions are like noses, they all smell. He said something else. But I'm like, he said opinions are like noses. They all smell. He said something else. But I'm like, yeah, that's it. They just, who cares about my opinion? Nobody cares about my opinion. People might say like, Father, weigh in on this. The moment I weigh in on what I think versus what scripture says or the church says is the moment when people say we no longer care what you think because now it's a limited insight as opposed to eternal wisdom. And so I would just say that it keeps going back to that place of nobody cares what you think. But these people do care whether you show up or not. That's the thing. Nobody cares what you think. And if you find

people who care what you think, you're gonna have a bunch of cheerleaders and a bunch of haters. Neither of which are worth that amount of time and that amount of effort. Because the cheerleaders will just always cheer on your anger and the haters will always hate whatever else it is. I think sometimes we see people like this. I remember listening to a priest who kind of got popular for being angry and he was given a, he was giving this kind of talk on the internet but there was no one there in the crowd and it was one of those things he's just like delivering it to like the camera, right? And he went gave one of these lines that in a rally people like, yeah! But he gave the line like, ha ha!

And there was no one in the room to go, yay, and he was like, okay, move on. Because that's not really the truth, that's just your talking point that your cheerleaders like to hear. That's your anger that you summarize for them and you put it into a pithy statement. And I was like, oh, this shows how hollow

just sharing my opinion is and catering to my cheerleaders or angering my haters is. I don't know, so stupid. I love it. Makes me mad. Actually, you got me mad. Well, one thing that we don't have to be mad over and they didn't ask me to do this but I want everybody here to please download the Ascension app. I'm not saying this because they're paying me and they are paying me. Okay, but I can say it and they're not paying me.

It is unreal. It's so good. It's my new favorite app. Yep, same here. It is, it is. The level of thought that went into this thing is insane. On so many levels. Yes. It is, you have the entire Bible,

you have the entire Catechism. That's completely searchable. Like, so how many of you have ever read the Catechism? Okay, so how many times do you see the little footnote or the side note where it's like, oh, it also references Catechism paragraph 2262. You're like, oh, but if you want to flip to it, you have to flip, flip, flip, keep your finger in the first page, flip, flip, flip, flip. And then, okay, oh, that's neat, flip, flip, flip.

This has a thing where you just tap on that, it pulls it up without losing your page, without losing your spot, pulls it up, like, oh, that's what that reference is. Close, you're right back. And the Bible, so many- It's so hard to explain. That's why we're able to download it. Just try it out.

Because I, I mean, I went to Australia, I listened to all those old Bible studies, yeah. Ascension.com slash Fred. Ascension.com slash Fred. Don't use your phone, sign up on your desktop. That way they like me more. Although they're around there, they should hear this. No, but all the old Bible studies, like I used to have Jeff Cavins 24 CD pack.

It's all on the app. All of them are. It's unreal. I listened to it on the way to Australia. You mentioned this in one of your shows. You had a commercial for this and you had mentioned that Genesis chapter one, one of the questions that comes up all the time is evolution. We're like oh yeah click on this here's someone explaining here's what the Catholic Church believes about this whole thing. It's so good, that's so

good. I don't know how much time we have left but one of the questions a local supporter asked me to ask you was about pornography and I know a lot of us struggle with this because we were born into a pornified culture and our parents were stupid and gave us iPads without locking them down and this stuff is just thrown at us from all the big networks and It's a struggle for our generation in a way that it probably wasn't for those who lived 50 hundred years ago I'd love your advice. You know I had someone write to me today on locals, and they said I've been free for two years Thank you, Jesus. We said I can't say I hate it like there are times I really really want it just in

general. One thing I you know one thing I know that you have victory yeah it's victory app. Well no go to strive21.com is that yeah right and so so there's there's those resources but one of the things that's that slash Matt one thing that I would always say, and maybe before you say this or other people say this and I just keep repeating it, is that one of the reasons why pornography is so powerful other than our concupiscence and our attraction to evil and our distort... we were made for love but we have this distorted version of it, is because pornography is available, it's everywhere, it is affordable, it's basically free, and it's anonymous. Like these three A's, right? It's available, it's affordable, it's anonymous.

And so if there's a way to make it unavailable, well, we've taken out one of the legs of the stool that has so much power over us. So we can have internet blockers and those things which are helpful, but if you're good at your computer, you can know how to work around an internet blocker. That's, that can be something. You can't make it cost you anything,, you can know how to work around an internet blocker. That can be something. You can't make it cost you anything, but you can get rid of the anonymity. That's one of the reasons why I always recommend this is not a commercial upon commercial. But Covenant Eyes is so helpful. I have so many people's accountability partners. I have accountability partners. I'm part of Covenant Eyes. I don't get paid by them.

I just use their product because it's one of those things where even if you can't block the site, this Covenant Eyes program tracks where you go and then sends an email to the person you have as your accountability partner saying, here's where this person just went. And there's something so good about that realizing like you've just taken out the anonymity and introduced accountability and that is so powerful. Now that doesn't heal the heart, that's the big thing. But it does give a person some reprieve. That gives them a little bit of breathing room to be able to work on their heart. So if I can get rid of the availability or get rid of

the anonymity, then it gives me room for like something like Strive 21. Where I get to say, okay now what is going on in my heart that's brought me to this place? Like what is it I'm actually looking for? As opposed like here's the pattern go to confession on Saturday I'm good for a couple days Tuesday night I fall. Wait till Saturday go to confession wait a couple days Wednesday night hey even better just give yourself some grace by building up that nature. I think you're getting rid of the availability which is hard but getting the accountability I think is is so much more powerful. Have you heard of Father Mark Foley?

He's a Carmelite, writes a ton of books. Carmelite tables over there have amazing books. One thing he said that I keep referring to is, and we all have this experience, right? As we grow in the Lord and we still struggle with those vices and we think to ourselves, when will I ever be free of this? And he said, only when I was able to accept the answer, never.

Was I able to just kind of breathe a sigh of relief. And he says to his spiritual directees, don't make a decision to sort of eradicate or sin from your life. Okay, that sounded bad. I didn't quote that well. Go read the book. But what he means is just make a decision to, you know, make the right decision in the moment. It's one thing to say, I'll never struggle again, I'll never do that again, but it's a better thing to say, today, what kind of decisions do I have to make

to be a good man or a good woman? I think freedom from pornography is the wrong way to think of it because the destination as Christians is heaven and you're not gonna wake up one day and go, oh my gosh, this is a very different sensation I think I'm free. It's like you won't have that. It's not like a finish line. It's a daily choice Well, that makes sense. I mean every person I've ever talked to who's in recovery Yeah, I mean, what's the one one of the things they say is that it's day by day

Oh, I gotta do a shout out if you're a lovely woman struggling with pornography check out magdala ministries org Because they are unbelievable and they're doing beautiful work with women who are hooked on porn lovely woman struggling with pornography, check out MagdalaMinistries.org because they are unbelievable and they're doing beautiful work with women who are hooked on porn and wanna be free. And that's the thing too, it's like, again, how many years every pornography talk was, hey guys, guys, guys, guys.

And they, I mean, women's hearts are as broken as men's hearts. And so we're all broken. But that's the thing is like, I think sometimes there's two ways we've gotten rid of shame. One is becoming shameless. Yep and saying like no, it doesn't matter. Yep Your porn stars are now star stars like well, I don't know if that's the case to becoming shameless isn't the answer but also stepping out from the shadows Towards the light like towards the Lord and not being a shame not being bound up or paralyzed by shame to be able to say actually I need to bring this to

confession, I might need to bring this to a trusted sister or a trusted brother because I can't do this alone stepping out from that shame is so important because or else what do we do? We just spend our lives hiding. You've been a priest for long enough and you know enough priests to know the answer to what I'm about to ask you and I think the answer will be beneficial to those here. What is your opinion of somebody who comes to confession and they share things that are like objectively shameful and things that they're deeply ashamed of? What is what do you think of that person when they do that? I'm so proud of them. I got

that's it. I'm just I just get to be in this place of like, oh my gosh. I mean, especially when people bring something like that they realize, you realize this was really hard for them to say. Some ways, the more difficult it was for them to say, the more proud I am. It's just like... And would you say that's true of other priests as well? I hope so. I don't know... I think if I were a priest, I'd be so annoyed at people coming to confession and like dancing around things. Shut up! That's not why we're here. Go to war on your ego. That's why we're here. No, the funny one is when people come to confession, this is kind

of a little tip, people come to confession and say is kind of a little tip. People come to confession and say, ah, Father, lust. Okay, you realize that encompasses a lot of stuff. You need to be more specific. It's like saying anger. Like, what do you mean anger? Well, I killed five people. Okay, that's a, I mean, anger can be anything from, like, I swore at somebody on the street

to I killed 10 people, right? So, lust can be anything from, like, you know, I gave in some lustful thoughts, as I da da da da, or you know, the other extreme. And like, let's, you have to name, that's the only frustration sometimes. It's like, okay, it is not even frustration. It's more like this, more like, okay, I hear you mentioned lust. Do you want to name the actual like sin? I remember when I became a Christian at 17 and was still struggling with sexual sins in a serious way I would say I was disrespectful to my body

The hell does that mean? He ate too many donuts. What did you do? Like your stupid hand you're dumb. Yeah I'm disrespecting you. I want to encourage our brothers and sisters here if you are in a state of serious sin Don't walk run to confession. And don't feel awkward about grabbing a priest and saying, I'm sorry it's not an option for you to leave. You're my father, be a father to me, hear my confession now. That's the thing is I always say there's two questions every priest loves to hear. The first question is, Father, how do I become Catholic? The second question is,

Father, will you hear my confession? And I remember, there's a couple times, I remember, I distinctly remember one time in college, I grabbed a priest by the shoulders and said, listen to me. No, I grabbed, he's before Mass, and I was like, Father, could I go to confession quick? And he said, no, you can't. And he wasn't being a jerk, it was just like, Mass starts in three minutes, and I have to get, you know,

but I know what that feels like. I also know what it's like to be in the line as the people ahead of you are taking five ever and you're like what in the world of recounting down the time before Mass and you're like just come on and then you're the next one and he's like I'm sorry I gotta go to Mass and feeling because of that like that's a sign God's done like he's mercy is over. That's not what that means. I know it's happened to a lot of us here. That's not what that means. It just means the time was up and it gives us an opportunity. It gave me an opportunity to be like, okay, I'm going to mass now. I'm not going to be able to receive. But I get to feel the pain of

losing Jesus. Get to feel the pain. What if I was stuck here forever? I'm not stuck here forever. But I get to actually enter into this. What if I was stuck here forever? I'm not stuck here forever, but I get to actually enter into this. What if I was stuck here forever? I don't want to be here forever. But so, grab the priests. Again, they're here because they love you. I'm so grateful to you and to priests. Thank you, priests. Let's give the priests a round of applause. Because it's not easy to be a married man or a married woman in society. And for goodness sake, it's not easy to be a married man or a married woman in society and for goodness sake It's not easy to be a good priest and there are so many terrific priests and they we owe them a beer If they want one or just in gratitude very least february 1st But that sense of like my friend nick he always says if you fall

Fall into the confessional If you fall just fall into the confessional and uh, yeah If you fall, just fall into the confessional. And, yeah. No, literally. But yes. But no, my response is, God is God is proud of you, I'm proud of you. I've got a question for you, because a lot of people are telling me they're struggling with this. I think, I don't know if it's a generational thing.

A lot of people are talking about social anxiety. I just, sometimes I don't like people and I want to be away from them, but I don't consider that like social anxiety. So what is your advice? Because people were asking me like how to overcome it and I'm like, I don't know. I was like, you're a good-looking man. What do you get to be anxious about or something like that? What is social anxiety? Why are people experiencing it more and what should they do about it?

Caveat, this is not medical advice. But my understanding, my understanding of social anxiety would be something along the lines of going back to vanity. And that excessive preoccupation with what other people are thinking. So I remember hearing this, that there's a psychologist who said that, he said, the parts of the brain that get lit up by depression is the same part of the brain that gets lit up when you think about yourself. So being preoccupied with oneself is akin neurologically to depression. And so in a conversation with someone else, if I find myself being really uncomfortable

in the conversation, it's most often because I'm thinking about myself more than I'm thinking about them. And so similarly with this conversation, if I remember that you exist, like how do I sound, then I feel weird. But if I'm talking with you and thinking about what you're saying and here you are in front of me, then like oh yeah we're having a conversation. Tell me more about yourself. And so I think sometimes, again, clinical anxiety is a whole other beast. But that sense of being able to say, is it possible? And the anxiety's

coming because every interaction I'm having, I'm thinking about me. So one step forward, and this could be one step forward, is when I meet someone new, someone old, whoever this is, I want to think about them. If I brought my mind going back to myself and how I'm feeling, how I'm doing, how I'm coming across. And I would say, not just think about them but but how can I put them at ease? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the guy. That's how do I make them? Yeah, right now You're a dude and you're approaching a woman you're trying to it's yeah, how do I put just how do I make them not feel frightened? Yeah, yeah, that's a good way to say I haven't figured that out

but there's something about that there's I mean one of the things that happens here that I I'm really grateful because people come up and like with you too, and they're like, hey, thank you for your show, thanks for all your talks and everything. I'm so grateful for that. One of the things I want to do with every person is just like, what's your name?

Yeah. Because where are you from? Like, it's because there's something about this, like, I think too many of us, we walk through life, we have a kind of motto at UMD, at the Newman Center. It's seen, known, loved. Because too many of our students walk around campus and they're unseen and they're unknown and they're unloved. And so the idea is, okay in our community we don't do this perfectly but I just want to see you.

I want you to know that you're seen. I want you to know that you're known. I want you to know that you're loved. But if I'm thinking about myself then I... that doesn't always happen. So social anxiety, I think again you might even say, here man you even mentioned like here's a good looking guy, here's a guy or a gal who's got it all or Sheila who's got it all together. That's what you say right? Sometimes. Although I think when I left Australia we said that but apparently they don't say it now and so even Australians are confused that I say that continually. They have a bloke or a Sheila and they're and they're attractive one of the things is how many people who are Successful who are attractive who are competent in some area a lot of their life becomes image management

You so every time I interact with someone I've got to protect that image Yeah, and so again my thoughts go back to myself and you look at it all together. Well I want you to keep thinking that I have it all together by protecting this image. And so again, that goes back to the sense of like those who, whether you don't appear to be someone who'd be competent or maybe you really appear to be someone who's competent, either way we can be afflicted by the same thing, which is I'm uncomfortable talking to someone because I need to manage your impression of me. Yeah. Okay, Thursday has texted me something. Can I read it out loud? You should give that, I'm just gonna do it, you should give that advice I learned

about giving women your number. Alright, so here's not my number, here's what he meant. So, Thursay has learned this trick. Rather than saying to a woman, can I have your number? He writes down a ton of numbers on his little cards, and he gives it to them. All right, you should. So you have a picture of yourself,

and then you put it on a telephone pole. Sure. And the number is really weird. I had my head shot professionally airbrushed. None of this is true. No, no, no. No, so what I heard is instead of walking up to a young woman and immediately asking for her number or a date and then putting her on the spot... You got no ribs.

Well, there's that. Okay. Don't do that. Embrace being old. No cap. No cap. Yeah, no, don't. Do I sound a little sus? We're cooler than them because we've been here longer. You don't have to do that. And also, never mind. Did you hear the laughter I got? Say it quickly. Say it quickly. Okay, okay, okay. So you write down your number and you give your number so there's no pressure

in the moment. Yeah. That's what you should do. And then when someone texts you this number. Doesn't that put a different type of pressure on the woman Here's a question. All right ladies, listen to me Okay, would you rather a man say can I have your number or him give you his number and say call me later? We're gonna do it like a shout competition. Wait, the first one Reese's give me your number All right, or would you rather him give you his number in a non creepily way? All right, okay That lady she looks lovely I would rather him give you his number in a non-creepily way. Alright. Okay! There you go!

That lady. She looks lovely. With that sense of like, then she texts and you're like, new phone, who dis? But it kinda puts the pressure on her to reach out to you, I don't like that. Yeah, I mean, well you initiate it though. Yeah, this is- She receives in response. Oh yeah, this is TOB. What if when you give her the number, a ton of cards fall out so that she knows this is

Just a thing the it's just a thing. You're not writing them down ahead of time. I'm not like, oh, okay You don't like photocopy Joey from friends How you doing? I? You're made Pope next week. You're like, well, that was super surprising. I thought they just elected Cardinals. What do you what do you do? So I thought they just elected cardinals. What do you do? So, what are some things you do? What are some things you don't do? Here's what I do, just to kind of warm you up, because you weren't expecting that question.

I'm definitely wearing the red slippers and the freaking tiara, and I want my papal apartment back. All right? And then I just go hide in a room, and I don't do anything. And if I preach I only read the Church Fathers. And maybe every month I give people an old encyclical to read and I don't put anything else out there and I just drink espresso and hang out with my bride. I was literally, that's a great

answer, because I was literally gonna say nothing. In the sense of like, no here's the thing, I know I have a pretty strong sense that they'll never ask me to be a bishop for a number of reasons. One is I don't have that skill set. That's not in my... Secondly, only if the Lord really needed to purify me would he make me wear those big, big hats. I just do not like... I think they look ridiculous. Just to say that right now the miter I don't get it I just I think it's... Wow that was a hot take no one like that one. Make that a short keep going. Um yeah if you're the Pope if I was made the Pope it would be a matter of like just like you said is I would probably stink at the

governance part of being a bishop because that's a very important part of the bishops role. He has to govern and and that's one of the things is we've had great popes. No, no, no, what would you do? You might stink at it, sure, that's fine, that's not the question. The question is someone is telling you you are the Pope now. I would surround myself by some really wise people like Matt Fadde, Mike Gormley, definitely Gormley. No, but I think that there would be, I think just like you said, I would surround myself by some really wise people like Matt Fad, Mike Gormley. Definitely Gormley. He's a wise fellow. No, but I think that there would be, I think just like you said, I would just preach. From the Church Fathers though? Yeah, there would be no innovation whatsoever.

I gotta wrap up. Can everyone give Father Mike Schmitz an applause and thank him for being a good man, a good priest? Thanks you guys. I'm gonna head to the Exodus 90 booth and I'm happy to meet folks for a while because if you're a fella and you're not doing Exodus 90, you can do it right now, you can start today and I'd love you to do it.

God bless you, thank you so much, I love you. Can I say one thing? Yes. So you guys, at the Ascension booth, there is a recreation of my living room. I don't know if you saw it, if you walked past that already. But there is, because it's in the living room, that's where we filmed the Ascension videos,

is there's a little photo of my niece Sophia and I right next to each other, and I'm like, Soph, you made it to this big, she's like, is that for real? Is everyone seeing that? So if you have the chance, take a picture of me and my niece Sophia in that little picture in my living room,

that would be awesome. And if you're not yet subscribed to Pines with the Quietness, do it right now. See ya. Amen. Thank you everybody.