Please Stop Talking - Brendy Fazbert's Pizzeria (feat. Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

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If you like, please stop talking. And you ever wonder, what would it be like if those silly boys talked about video games or played Dungeons and Dragons instead? Why not try our other shows? We got Press Start Turbo where we talk with people from the games industry like the Dredge developers and check out games that you guys tell us to play, Peerless Storytelling which

is our sci-fi, fully sound designed D&D campaign with an original soundtrack, and pondering spooky tapes where we just shoot the shit about a horror movie we just watched that you guys vote on. You can find all of our shows and more on our YouTube channel or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaking of we, did you guys know that

fucking Quebec is starting to sell edibles in the form of poutine gravy? That's fucking... Just straight of poutine gravy. That's fucking... Just straight up poutine gravy. That's messed up. It's disgusting. I fucking hate it. That's fucking messed up.

I'm fucking myself up on daddy gravy. I'm so excited. Dude, if you guys want to... When you guys come by for the wedding, let's have some gravy. Let's have some weed poutine. Dude, oh god, it looks so gross, man. Call it a shit poutine. Surely you want to eat poutine when you're already high.

You don't want to get high while eating poutine. That's exactly what I fucking said. And then all my friends were like, well, just prepare it ahead of time. And it's like, no, but that's not the point. The point is you're going to get fucking high and then you're going to get even worse. You're going to make a giant pot of poutine and you're just going to start eating out of the giant pot of poutine. You're going to be like, oh, fuck, this is high a giant pot of poutine and you're just gonna start eating out of the giant pot of poutine you're gonna be like oh fuck this is high this is weed poutine dude it's even crazier because we also have ramen weed ramen we have weed yeah dude oh my god our fucking dude our edibles are so fucked smoking right out the poutine pack got me lazy on the gravy our edibles

are fucked because what they what they basically said was we don't want any of the like our edibles are fucked because what they what they basically said was we don't want any of the like our edibles to be candy because kids love candy right so then they instead of doing that at first they were like okay we're just gonna like make figs that get you high or make like beet chips that get you high and now they're like oh well nobody wants to buy fucking beet chips when they're high so what do we do and now they're making oh well nobody wants to buy fucking beet chips when they're high so what do we do and now they're making like little smokies weeder weeder we they're making fucking little weiner we're making we're we're ramen it's gone too far it's insane it's crazy make it candy a child is gonna eat a little smoky and a child is going to eat a candy just keep it

away from a child the one that the one i'm really like curious about though is the fucking infused chicken ramen that that one's fucking crazy to me 100 grams of fucking how big is 100 grams that's a tiny amount yeah looking up 100 grams of fuck you up poutine right now oh it looks so nasty you know what google didn't come up with anything let me check uh let me. Let me check Bing Copilot real quick and see if Bing's algorithms and give me completely useless information or as i call it bren formation about the way that they doing poutine up in canada but with weed pre-installed inside of it i am very curious as to what the fuck you up poutine will be and curious to if you have any recipes for a normal human being with blood in his body. What that... Oh my god. Stop! Stop! No! You're done. You're done. I'm cutting you off.

Welcome to the podcast. Am I right, guys? You went on for 30 seconds! You went on for 30 fucking seconds! What the fuck were you talking about? I got an answer from it. It said, uh, let's... Wait, oh, you were... Wait, were you doing text-to-speech Bing? I was typing, uh, Bing AI says, let's wait oh you were wait were you doing text i was typing uh bing ai says

let's try a different topic sorry about that what else is on your mind it didn't work it didn't work doesn't know about weed poutine doesn't know about fucking routine didn't know about fuck you up poutine poutine that fucks you up yeah that powers you down we need that protein poutine you know i'm talking about that protein That protein. Shit, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. Fuck, it doesn't work. That does not work. You think they got a tech deck for like adults and like their sexual partners, but they call it a sex deck so I can like do a kickflip off the pussy?

Like a suck and fuck tech deck? Like a sex deck, yeah. Like a tech deck for sucking and fucking? I wanted to start off that. I wanted to start off with that joke. And then I was like, fuck it. We were talking about weed poutine in Canada. And I was like, that's such a ban banal conversation i have to like just a banal

conversation i have to like just throw that banal conversation you're just gonna fucking walk past banal you you fucking we weren't even recording we literally we had an entire moment of talking about weed poutine and then we stopped to do the clap sync because it was not part of the episode and then we kept going it was not part of the episode i don't know why what the fuck you're doing it was banal because it was before the episode i was just i was i was just thinking about the banal conversation we were having about lean protein. You're so... Fuck you, man. You are fucking evil. You're so sinister.

You're so... You're fucking devilish tonight. I would say... You're a little devilish boy. I would say I'm evil with a capital E. I would say that. That is the perfect descriptor of me. Like, if you found me in the movie Despicable Me, I would steal the moon and shove the whole

thing up my ass. Oh, wow. That is what happens in that movie, huh? I don't know what happens in that movie cruz says a slur in that movie actually what he does actually he says a slur in despicable me it's not in any of the sequels and i don't think it's in the home dvd set anymore but he says a slur halfway through the movie at uh 45 38 i think is the time stamp 5 38 why do i feel like you're fucking with me there's no way you have that on the top of your- It's not like I can check. It's not like I can check.

No, no, there's no way you have that information. Does he use the G? I feel like, if anything, it's the G1. What are you, a fucking mint cat? You keeping this information, like, stored? Oh, what is that? What is that? What is that, a Dune reference?

That's a Dune reference. I'm being topical. Oh, this guy went to see Dune. The only fantasy properties I read are Dune and Stormlight Archive because I love characters who are one-dimensional and say, I'm awesome. Let me use my awesome sauce. That's not what happens.

He says, I'm worm. I'm fighting. No, I'm fighting Cameron on the podcast right now about Brandon Sanderson. You're fighting me? Oh, my. That's what the people want. They want nuanced discussion about the writing of Brandon Sanderson. The people want to hear the discussion about the Stormlight Archive that we've had.

Oh, what is that? What is that? Is that some fucking nerd shit? Stop it. The people want to know more about fantasy novels on the podcast. They don't want to hear about poop anymore. They don't want to hear about pee anymore. These are mortgage paying Americans with taxes.

I've been reading the comments and I know exactly what the people want. Comment with the topics that interest you. Do you want to talk about poopoo or cum anyway i searched up six dick and all i could find was like a fucking tarot cards of like six positions so i think you're lying to me about the six dick yeah i googled cameron pst and i actually found six different twit longers what's up with that i'm just trying to like up my fucking status i'm surprised none of us ever had to do a twit longer yet we should we should have a twit longer going on a twit longer off oh that's why are you saying that like a group chat like oh we should all have like a family group you know we should make a family discord and invite all of our families and then make them

battle royale and vc dude you should you should get fucking uncle tom on the v the fucking discord vc you should get him on the on our fucking discord vc the family group chat i would fucking i would rather die than have my family on discord dude they'd look at what i'm linked to and they'd get crazy what oh you're doesn't your family do that i'm calling my mom give me a second what what i'm just i'm just calling my mom i just want to see how she was doing. Okay. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Okay. Hi, we're recording a podcast.

Are there any funny stories I should tell about myself on this funny podcast, Mom? Yeah, how you super glued hot glued magnets to your hand and tried to climb up the refrigerator. I already told that story. That's so funny. That's the second time you call your mom and she says to say that story. Was it you or Garrett that stuck the rock up the penny of his nose? I stuck a button in my ear. Oh, yeah.

It was a button in the ear. Have you told that one? Yeah. I mean, it's not really a story. I just stuck a button in my ear because I thought it'd be funny. Right. It got stuck in your ear. Yeah.

No. Well, we had to go to the hospital. You went to the hospital for that? Yeah. The doctor had to surgically remove it out of your ear. Yeah. No, well, we had to go to the hospital. You went to the hospital for that? Yeah. Yeah. The doctor had to surgically remove it out of my ear, Mom. Well, there you go. There's a funny story.

Okay. Well, I love you. I hope you're having a great rest of your day. I'll think of something. Don't worry. I'll text you if I think of something. I just got home. Okay.

Sounds good. You have a lovely day, Mom. All right. Love you. Bye. Love you, too, Mom. Have a lovely day. Love you.

Love you, too. That was nice. Dude, we should have your mom on we should call my anytime i want an episode i should just call my mom and check in real quick we should call your nana call my nana oh no that's gonna take a while she's gonna she's gonna meander a lot how old were you when you got the fucking button stuck in your ear i was three i remember everything since uh i want to say since like birth that's fucked up i don't even i have every memory actually wait you what do you mean wait do you actually do you are you one of those freaks that remember shit like from when they were way too young yeah i remember my birth actually no i reckon no brendan got brendan no brendan got

clicked brendan brendan's got the remote i did i got the did. I got the time reset. Oh my God. Dude, when I was a kid, I just remembered this. I was at summer camp. It was like a giant summer camp. It was basically like the only summer camp in the entire area. And there were so many kids. We must've been like 150 kids. We all went into the gym because they would do like these movie,

like show a movie day or whatever and they showed click and then when the isn't there like what happens in that movie that's really sad there's some really sad shit that happens during the movie and i can't remember it's the scene in the rain where he's like old and he's wasted his life and he's like crying and christopher walking comes out and says wow you really like that one up yeah dude every like 150 kids started crying at the same time and they had to stop the movie that we had like maybe five counselors there and it was a whole fucking mess and they had to call people's fucking parents because kids were inconsolable. This is fucked up.

When I was a kid, they just showed you Bridge to Terabithia. Oh, dude. I remember watching that movie. We read the book. We were crying and then they were like, okay, movie time. We were like, awesome. Bridge to Terabithia. We're like, what the fuck? We know what happens. You made us read this book. What is it? No.

The kids were like, no, I didn't read the book i fucking i fucking figured out a summary i had no idea time to cry you fucking lose your fucking mind it's like god you couldn't show us i don't know fucking tron or something cool gotta be bridged to terabithia that really fucking puts us in at such a specific age bridge to terabithia and p like crying at at that at school because they would show it is so specific to a certain time because that is not a classic fucking movie never talk about where i was i feel like it is a classic i feel like it okay um i don't remember where i was at 9-11 uh i don't i feel like i talked about this though i was i was really really young we went to Blockbuster. I was

five. And it's one of my earliest memories, honestly, because I was really young and I wanted to play. I don't think that game was out yet. Was Harry Potter on PS1 or Nintendo 64 out? I think Sorcerer's Stone was on the PS1. Yeah, I

think so. I remember I rented a game. It would have been 2001, Sorcerer's Stone on the PlayStation and the PlayStation 2. You guys call it Sorcerer's Stone. That's so gross. Oh, that's right. No, it's Philosopher's Stone. Yeah. Either way,

I rented that game for my PlayStation. November 2001. What was the date? 16th, 16th, 16th 16th okay so that means that means it was not that I don't remember either way what happened is I came back from blockbuster with a rented game and I really really wanted to play it on my Nintendo 64 but then my parents were like no we gotta watch this they were both glued to the screen and looking at it and I was just look I was just like can I fucking play Harry Potter or some shit?

Can I fucking play Kirby, dude? And I remember I got really antsy because I was a little bitch ass kid and I got really mad. Were you even alive during 9-11? How old are you? Me? Too right. I was alive during 9-11. I could have been there.

How old were you? I was two. Aren't you like two years younger than me? Yeah. No, you're three could have been there. I was two. Aren't you like two years younger than... Yeah, no, you're three years younger than me. That's right. Yeah, I was two, so I don't remember it. That's right. The best sleeper agents don't remember it.

I was in third grade and we were learning mathematics. My teacher was trying to teach us some fun little facts and they were trying to teach us multiplication as like a... Oh, here you go. Like three times three equals monkey climatry, like little mnemonic devices, right? What the hell? And it was early in the morning, of course, and very, very funny.

The teacher was trying to do like a cool football thing for five times five. And so the teacher's trying to like tackle a little bit. When you said you remember it, you mean like you remember it. I remember it because it was two events that had happened. One, the teacher was trying to tell us little funny things. And they said they were like five times five. And they were going to say some football thing. And they fell on the ground.

And I got up like a smart-ass little kid and yelled, teacher takes a dive. And then immediately after a teacher ran and said, you got to turn on the TV. The towers are falling. While our teacher is on the ground, bruised and beaten. Holy shit. And you were on top of her pointing and laughing. I was like standing up at my desk laughing and then somebody runs in. Turn on the TV right now.

Something is happening. The towers are falling. Jesus Christ. In front of the kids? Yeah. And then they turn on the TV and we all watched something is happening the towers are falling jesus christ what in front of the kids yeah and then they turn on the tv and we all watched and i was like holy shit that's crazy my dad picked me up in a suburban and i went back to the farm and i was like dad the towers fell he's like what i remember it but like really barely you just had like a straight up fucking like you remember i

was sentient when that happened like i was aware of my existence at that point I was like half sentient I was like I was still becoming I want to know like what happened to the kids that were in the classroom of George Bush when like he found out about 9-11 like he's like doing like a fucking story time

they're our age they are our age they were younger than me when 9 younger than me we should get them on the podcast see what happened yeah so i want to hear their perspective like how was it like did he actually tell the story good or was he like garbage yeah did someone come in and finish the story like did he make voices like did he do voices did you imagine ge George Bush doing like fucking like kids voices for a story time and then learning about 9-11? Could you imagine George Bush in like the teacher's lounge dunking a cookie into a cup of coffee going, Oh, story time.

Sir, 9-11 is happening. Jet planes are en route. Oh, man. This is so fucked. out oh man oh fuck episode dude that was the same year i got to see real human lungs actually is third grade really were they like yeah well because we're talking to like messed up school things so like i'm like i'm like fully pulling it back to like third grade um so i was in this i maybe have talked about this a little before. I was in a group in third grade for kids who didn't have a mom. I did have, no, I did have a mom, but my mom wasn't like there at the time.

Like she was fucking, so like you just went in there, stolen Valor at all. It was a small stolen mom Valor. It was, it was, it was this group of kids because in rural small schools, sometimes they didn't know what to do with kids who had problems. Yeah. So it was like, okay, let's make a support group for kids who don't have moms. And this was, I had a class of 14 kids in third grade, like 14 total, like throughout the entire grade.

So they're like, oh, let's make a little support group for kids who don't have moms so it's me this kid wesley and this girl it's like three of us my mom at the time may or may not have been incarcerated wesley's mom was just sick all the time and not available and another girl's mom was dead oh my god and they didn't know what to do with us and we met once a week on like a wednesday so like sometimes there would be the guidance counselor we'd come in we'd show for like an hour is this one of those stories that's really sad and not actually funny or no okay so like this is more so about like they did they they created the group of kids but it's only three kids and they had no idea what to do with us yeah so they brought in a speaker for just the three kids but the speaker was confused and either they got the wrong speaker or it was just a really weird thing

they brought in one of those stop smoking dare advocates for a group of three kids without moms and they brought in a real pair of human lungs more like a model of human lungs of what a smoker's lungs would look like. We were literally talking about that before the fucking show. I was thinking that might be where it's going. Is that they're gonna fucking show the smoker lungs, but Jesus Christ.

The three of us, for an hour talking to this dare advocate about why smoking is bad and poking at these human lungs brendan do you know they they're actually they probably lie to you about those being actually like smoker lungs because i've heard the way that they get the lungs to look like that is they just attach it to the fucking exhaust of a car and let it go for like a few hours until it's blackened because like getting actual look because to get actual real smoker lungs is

quite difficult um because you need you need to have like a fucking smoker who was willing to like yeah you give their lungs up like they have signed consent forms for that shit so like the way they do it is they just get like you know cadavers that that are just given up from car crashes or whatever the fuck and then they just put them on an exhaust to like simulate what smokers lungs would look like oh dude i'd be so dude i'm not gonna lie i'd be so fucking pissed i because i actually did do the thing where it's like on the back of my uh health insurance card where it's like i want to donate my uh body to science or whatever like Like I'm willing to donate my body. If so, dude, I would get so pissed

if I learned that they use my fucking organs and just shove them in the fucking- They just made them look shitty? What the fuck? That's awful. You know about the story about the guy whose mom donated her body to science and the US military was using her in explosives testing?

Yeah, yeah. That's what I know that happens. Guy's mom donated her body to science and they used her to test out like explosives. That is fucking I have. Here's the thing about me. The thoughts I am having are all evil and awful.

I am okay with donating my body to science. I don't give a shit how you use it. If you want to just fucking like embalm that shit and put it out in front of a dead Chuck E. Cheese's is like a joke. I don't fucking care. I'll be dead. If you're going to do something fucking hilarious with my body, I'm so down. Yeah, put my brain inside

of the like somebody's fucking Keurig so you can you can be brewing Brendan. Put my brain into Keurig so you can brew some dubious Brendan brew. I want to see what happens. Put my eye in the cauldron so you can fucking... I want to be the first Futurama hit. I want to be the first Futurama hit. That would be

fucking fun, I reckon. Me and Nixon hanging out. I'm just saying, like, I think podcast hosts, I think as podcast hosts, we're pretty low on the Futurama hit totem pole, I'm not going to lie. I think we're actually below regular people on the totem pole. No. Below regular people, we could

be fucking hilarious for years to come. The train never ends. The train never ends. We'd have one talking head podcast. I mean, literally talking head podcast. Get it? The naming convention

for the podcast we'd create would be so fucking funny. There's so many ways we could do it. What's a PSD abbreviation for heads? Person? Person, thing, service.

That's PTS. Oh shit, fuck. I give up. I'm sure there's some scientific name for a neck or some shit that we could... I'm trying to think of synonyms of head right now and I'm just getting weird search results back from Pornhub.

A synonym of head is a fucking... is a really deep porno. You're not fucking ready for the questions they ponder. I feel like not having a body is a good reason to get rid of the PST nomenclature i i feel like that's a we could get rid of it i send it we've got a better bit now got a better yeah because our only bit right now is the fact that everything is pst dude you know what's fucking crazy every time we mention p that every show we have is pst

there's always a bunch of people that are like, what the fuck? I got it. I got it. Penis skull time. Why penis? Why penis? You know what actually is, we could do like a, if we were all just like disembodied heads, we could just have like full

30 minute videos of the heads getting washed. So it's preparing skulls time before the podcast. It could be like a pre-show. Shouldn't we be great? We could get any guest we wanted. Because what are they going to do? Run away? No, they have little spider legs on the bottom of the head. I'm not going to lie. That's something they don't think of in Futurama.

No, but that's only the rich ones. That's only the rich ones. The poor ones just have to sit on a shelf. We could get Cliff Blazinski's head on there. Oh, true. Finally, we could get Cliff Blazinski's head on there. Oh, true. Finally, I can learn more about Lawbreakers. Dude, Lawbreakers was fucking awesome, man. I'm tired of

acting like that game wasn't fun as hell. Cameron, we're going to have to kill Billy. Have the Lawbreakers nostalgia goggles on. No, no, no. Cameron agrees because I was playing with him. I don't know. Do you remember the Royal Endorb? Do you remember the Royal Endorb? I was playing with him. I was playing with Cameron.

Do you remember the Royal Endor? I love Radical Heights. I want to go bring that one back. They were trying to brainstorm a name and they were thinking this new game will bring us to Radical Heights. No way. It was like a fucking last ditch effort to make money

and it was completely soulless so who knows i mean yeah fucking i mean yeah love break love breakers did kind of rule apart from apart from the bots being a completely soulless um since you opened the door to darkness i.e open the door to video game talk we're since we are we are currently in a in our own little space of press fart turbo. Hey, that show's fucking great and people should listen to it. That's a great plug. Yeah. Over the last two weeks,

I've played every mascot horror video game, almost. Dude, I fucking hate you. Dude, you're the only person. The worst part is you were really nice. I'm going to be honest. You were way nicer than I could ever be about those games because you were actually like, you know, those games simply not for me, but I can see how they're for some people. And I was like, you are so nice.

I just have to say about those games. After playing. Yeah, I did play Choo Choo Charles, but that was like a year ago. Okay. Choo Choo Charles is in Ban Ban. What? Yeah, there is a Ban Ban 4 Ban Ban 6. There's a dream sequence. No, I think it's 4 where Choo Choo Charles

comes in and Nab Nab has to stop him. You know what? Mandy must be so happy right now because I asked him if he could be on the episode today and he said he couldn't because he was the real message was Mandy was afraid that Brendan would bring up Ban Ban or communist or ha or haze again okay but to be fair last night last night we recorded the we recorded pondering and you fucking mentioned band band and mr tum this chases at you which io game okay but

that that's how we came up with the tumness tunnels and i'm a big fan of it i'm a giant fan of the tumness tunnels i'm gonna wait give me a sec i gotta drop the the tumnus you do have to reset your something violent awful is gonna happen nobody knows yet but the the once the count once the countdown hits zero on the tumnus counter it's gonna be evil it's gonna be devilish cameron you were saying uh is there a mascot horror connected universe then no like is banban the avenges of mascot horrors uh the euphoric brothers who create banban are friends with the creator of choo-choo charles so like charles is just in banban uh but fnaf and poppy and banban the big three are not connected i want to say the big three merch movers are not connected in any way shape or form choo-choo

charles did you just say choo-choo charles is one of the choo-choo charles i don't think that one is poppy banban and fanaf are the big three those are the merch oh yeah yeah i i see dude i i was at i just got back from a fishing trip i was so far from fucking civilization at a gas station and they were selling fucking poppy playtime plushies like it is dude it is crazy those are everywhere for the benefit of nobody watching this will probably care anyway i will say this i respect markiplier so fucking much after playing through the like original fnaf games i respect him so fucking much now i didn't know he's probably listening right now and his heart just grew three sizes he does that whenever he wakes up as he goes hello everybody my name is mark i'm liar and then

he like looks at himself in the mirror and says what have i become and he goes out about his day with his big pile of money bless his heart i i genuinely have the utmost respect for that man after playing those fucking games because they are miserable. BNAF original is, aside from 1 and 3, they are an actual exercise in misery for me. You're like sitting in a chair watching cameras. No.

Is it no? Because I don't know nothing. Only in 1 are you sitting around watching cameras. 2, there's 11 animatronics instead of like 4. And you're sitting and watching cameras? Two, there's 11 animatronics instead of like four. And you're sitting and watching cameras, running a music box, checking vents, and also flashbanging Foxy so you don't die. Three, there's one animatronic. Can I tell you about one part in Sister Location that is actually mind-numbing?

Sure. There is a three-minute section in Sister Location where you are in a springlock suit a la William Afton, and you have to keep yourself alive for three minutes. To the left of you are five buttons. Wait, is Sister Location the one that came out this year? No, that was 2016. Security Breach is the newest one. Okay. There is a segment where you are in a springlock suit, and to the left of you are five buttons. To the right of you are five buttons. to the right of you are five buttons.

These buttons are all continuously counting down constantly. And you also have to press A and D three times to wiggle little puppets off of you, or else they'll just kill you. And every time you wiggle, it also lowers the buttons. If one of these ten buttons goes

down all the way, you just die. The great part is, is they click up as slow as they click down. And they actually click up slower than they click down in the last minute. So I spent an hour on this part and realized this was futile for the normal person. Like only the most unhinged psychotic individual

who has consumed the most copious amount of caffeine. The entire thing you just said is so confusing to me. I can't even imagine it. It seems like these games... I mean, I haven't and will never play any of these because... Fair. There's no way. Never say never.

You can always vote on Press Start Turbo. Oh, shut the... Don't let them know. Oh. Don't let them know. Now that's an evil thing it just seems like 75 000 subscribers and we forced cameron to watch the fnaf movie on pondering spooky tapes i'm going to fucking does that count as a spooky tape um yes it is it's spooky it's a horror movie but

like these games just seem seem like you're just it's just meant to annoy you and like you're yeah it kind of feels like it i'm gonna be three has a genuine path to victory and also is much more easily understandable four and pizzeria which is considered six are much more reliant on audio cues um and that's why i don't really like them Pizzeria Simulator is 6 like that's Ban Ban that's fuck that's wait how many fucking how many games does FNAF have 1 2 3 and 4 Sister Location Pizzeria Simulator which is free which is

6 and FNAF World which is the RPG and that's also free and it's dog shit but like a lot of these games you're just like waiting around and Security Breach and Help Wanted Wanted 2 and Help Wanted 1 and 2 VR and FNAF VR and Ultimate Custom Night. Oh my god. Oh my god. But like the things that happen

in FNAF 1 right that's it. And it's just. No. Is it not? It's all RNG. It's all RNG based? It's all RNG based. It just gets difficult every more difficult every night. There are there are literal like impossible to beat states within FNAF 1. Right. Like the Golden Freddy where you see like Golden Freddy 5 Bear night there are there are literal like impossible to beat states within fnaf um right one like the

golden freddy where you see like golden freddy five bear uh he he can just show up and then you have to like if you don't know about golden freddy you have to like fucking pull up your tablet again and look at the cameras and if you don't do that you just die and it ruins your whole night and it has a one in one like one in 60 000 chance of just spawning in. See, what do you get? I don't understand how these games are so popular when that was the fucking starting point. The point is, literally once I played them, I realized they're not puzzle games.

Yeah. They are reflex games, especially 2. 2 is such a reflex and memorization game because imagine FNAF 1, but instead of just four guys there's 11 guys yeah but this is like one of those fucking games they give to toddlers so they can recognize shapes

like why would I it is genuinely the most difficult video game I've played in my entire fucking life are you serious? yes FNAF 2 especially by night 5 is the most difficult piece of shit I've ever played in my life and I never want to play it again. Well, if it's randomized, it's not like the difficulty curve

can be fucking planned for. No, the difficulty curves up because they keep adding more animatronics. Right. So there's more things you have to keep looking. In FNAF 11 by night 5, here's what you have to do. You have to watch your two vents and you have to watch the corridor in front of you. However, different animatronics respond

to different stimuli, i.e. Foxy and Mangle when they're in the front corridor. You have to flash the corridor in front of you. However, different animatronics respond to different stimuli, i.e. Foxy and Mangle when they're in the front corridor. You have to flash them with a flashlight. Whenever an animatronic pops into the room, you have one second, not even half of a second, to put on your Freddy Fazbear mask to dissuade them from just killing you. You have half a second.

It is a full reflex. When an animatronic is in the vents, you also have to be watching for them to pop up or you have to flash them balloon boy is different because he doesn't pop into the room when he pops into the room he steals your flashlight and foxy or mangle can kill you from the hallway you have to i talk like an insane person but these games are i i was gonna say i was gonna say yeah but that's okay i was gonna say like my my sister my sister just announced to us that she's pregnant and i feel like when i'm gonna hang out with her child that's my sister, my sister just announced to us that she's pregnant. And I feel like when I'm going to hang out with her child, that's my sister.

Don't bring up Dilbert pregnant. You bought the Dilbert pregnant cell. I did. I did. I did. I did this. I need to hang it up. But I feel like that's what I'm like.

I'm going to be I want to be present for this kid and I want to be there in their life and I want to like be supportive. But I feel like every time I'm ever going to be there in their life and i want to like be supportive but i feel like every time i'm ever going to be like so what are you doing like you know you've been playing anything fun whatever they're always going to be like yeah i literally sound like a three-year-old trying to explain it because that's the only way to explain it is you have 11 animatronics and it's literally a psycho shit fest of reflex in hell this This is a nightmare. I don't like it. Also,

also, also that child will, by the time the child is old enough, they're not going to be playing Freddy Fazbear. Yeah, it'll be something else. I mean, you never know fucking what's going to be popular with kids,

dude. It was Paw Patrol. Then it was this. Then it was that. I don't know if there can be anything more esoteric, like, and hard to explain than FNAFf i don't think there will be another fnaf like ever again like it is that's i think the reason that i played it i don't know man

garden of banban is something fucking wild yeah but like i think about like gaming trends growing up and like video games do get weirder and weirder and odder and odder in like more mysterious ways the reason i enjoyed exploring fnaf was genuinely out of like a morbid curiosity more than anything because it was something that i like kept away from myself for so long as like a have you played have you played ban ban or is that just played all of them yeah okay i wasn't sure if you like because i know mandy's been playing them for some fucking reason i i know well i say that but i know it's because of you all right brennan most important question why because there is this um thing that i have in my brain that makes me want to explore niches that aren't available to me um i always like learning and

i always like growing as a person uh when it comes to jokes when it comes to being a human being and something that helps is exploring niches that are foreign to me i'm not going to be somebody immediately who is like this sucks and it's poo-poo and I hate that because I think if you close off your mind to certain niches, even if they seem cringe, you're limiting yourself

and what you can learn and what you can do. If you see something that somebody else is enjoying and your immediate focus and onus is, I'm going to dismiss this because I am cool and epic, I think you're fucking lame.

So in essence, I want to explore something like that because it's something that I missed out on as I grow older. I like exploring're fucking lame. So in essence, I want to explore something like that because it's something that I missed out on. As I grow older, I like exploring these niches. Plus, when you meet somebody who is interested in this niche and you have forbidden knowledge about this niche, you can surprise them and scare them with your knowledge because they'll say,

you're not supposed to know about Homestuck, Brendan. And I'll go, hey, Dave Strider, right? All right, taking that all into account, what have you learned and how have you grown from playing the fucking mascot games let me let me hit you with this no stop no shut up no oh man what i've learned in mascot horror my my journey through it is is that i don't think any of them are good games in the terms of like games that I would want to play. I think that they, especially the original FNAF games, occupy a

weird space where they were a product of their time and they were interesting because of the time they came out. But as video games have come further, they're not something that interests me except as a novelty. Beyond being a novelty novelty the fact of the matter is every single one of them does they're turning the kids into creatures but in a different way um i think there are way more interesting themes you can explore rather than they're turning the kids into creatures but the the art and the the fandoms that that inhabit them and the wealth of positivity that has come from communities surrounding mascot horror is very interesting

to me. It's like being in a dimly lit cave and you come out and there's a bright and shining sun and you look closer at the sun and it's kind of like the Teletubbies but Freddy Fazbear's face is in there. How long before we get an It mascot game like Stephen King and have it be really faithful, mascot game? Like Stephen King.

And have it be really faithful, you know? Like with... No! Cameron! Cameron! No! Oh, Cameron. Oh, good.

Cameron doesn't even know about the Bigger Bodies Initiative in Poppy. What? There's no way. There's no way it's worse than what happens in... Google the Bigger Bodies Initiative. No, I know what I'm talking about. No, Brendan, there's no way it's... No it's worse than google the bigger bodies initiative no i know no there's no way it's it's not no i know i know what you're talking about there's no way it's worse than stephen king's novelization of it like man enough cocaine and maybe one day no no i mean i mean an interesting discussion uh but like i i don't think i've learned anything from mascot

horror except for they're putting the kids inside the creature and every mascot horror video game I've played FNAF is at least interesting and distinct and unique within the world space like I haven't played security breach yet and that's the big fuck off one um but the way that the game is is I have never played a video game like it before even if I disliked it I was gonna say do you think the draw of these games is like the mascots and just like, you know, the designs, I guess, and like the... I think that's a huge part of it because as somebody who played the games and considers

himself pretty gamer, they're fucking difficult. So I understand if people grab an attachment to themselves from just watching like YouTubers play them. I understand I understand, I guess now, why they were such a big part of the zeitgeist

because if you're a kid playing these games on an iPad, you are having a horrible fucking time unless you're building the muscle memory in real time. Right. They're so important to the cultural zeitgeist of so many Zoomers because if you're 22 23 when fnaf 1 came out you were 13 14 these were games that you grew up with like not games that

i really grew up with games that like the like people that i am friends with grew up with and understanding that perspective uh helps me grow as a person even if i don't like those games this episode took such a strange turn from 9 11 to 5 night at freddy's welcome to the podcast that's because i drank a whole celsius and i'm feeling evil what is a celsius it's an energy drink of 200 milligrams of caffeine so i napped before we recorded and i was also like let's drink a whole big caffeine are you not jittery are you not just fucking going like that shit would not be legal in new zealand i probably consume about like 600 to 800 milligrams of caffeine a day i'm not gonna lie oh my god not because i don't get i don't get jittery from caffeine it just makes me normal good for you i

could not stimulants work in a really weird way i could never i need that stimulant uh i could drink water but then i get a caffeine headache. And I'm like, I want my drinky. I need my, what is it? Celsius also has what? Fucking a thousand percent of your daily needed biotin. So I am biotined up today. My fingernails and my hair are going to be fucking strong.

I'm literally going to be scratching at the chalkboard and nobody can fucking stop me. I'm ripping that shit apart. No, no, no no no no do you guys have any regulations in america on how much caffeine should be in fucking drinks because like i remember that that whole panera oh the panera yeah i was gonna say i was gonna talk about the panera i could probably drink five of those without dying um i actually have a caffeine story that i can tell a good a good segue yeah go for it let's have a little caffeine story when i was in high school my senior year I had a friend who loved to go to science and nutrition

because they were like, dude, I'm 18. I'm going to science and nutrition and buy fucking anything. I was like, sick, dude, sick, awesome. So he bought this drink and this drink had probably, I want to say an unimaginable, ungodly amount of caffeine in it to the point where it had a limit on the drink because it was a specific pre-workout that literally had a warning on the bottle and little markers. Don't drink more than one third of this a day. And I can't remember the exact amount of caffeine, but when something warns you,

hey, you're supposed to buy this and then just drink a third of it and then work out. Don't drink any more. So I bought one from him at the very beginning of his school day i drank the whole thing in one one big drink right i just went through the whole fucking thing and i saw god and i will tell you on this day this specific day i aced every test in every class it was the most productive and best day of my life in academia.

I had never ever before had been able to pay attention to every single word a teacher was saying. And that could have been the marker for me realizing I had some kind of ADHD, but it wasn't. I just wanted to buy more from him. And the next day he said,

Brendan, i want to tell you this i had seen you between classes you were sprinting to each of your classes you were not okay i am not selling you another one dude he's denying you your acting oh my god what what about the fucking turn in your life where you just had unlimited access and got fucking straight a's for the rest of your like scholastic career on like c's and b's i would have gotten like straight a's and gotten into college a lot easier there's a world where you're the president oh my god i'm imagining fucking today. Welcome to the State of the Union. I gotta tell you. Big deal today.

Signing a bill into law. What are you going to say to Obama? Gotta say it. Horses are now illegal. Big deal. Don't worry about it. I do not like inferior forms of locomotion, so I'm signing an executive order.

Horses are now illegal. You deal with it. Grow the fuck up. Get over it. Imagine this all coming from like a six foot five dude wearing neon fucking yellow piss glasses and minecraft show you know if i was ever president the first thing i would do is i'd get a fucking freddy fazbear suit oh my it would be a i mean yeah you use the you use the people's money for it as well. Oh, I got to tell you, we will be drone striking, but it's going to be Antarctica.

It's going to be Antarctica because I fucking hate those scientists, so I just want to see what happens. There's going to be shelling and mortaring. Just a lot of fun. I hear this will help with the climate. More ice in the water. That's going to be my presidential campaign. My slogan is, it's going to be my slogan is it's gonna be fun it's gonna be fun but brendan actually had his campaign brendan sweet at the chucky cheese and he made sure it was an abandoned

that no i thought you were just gonna have fun with the senators just go play fucking house of the dead with a senator no no the first thing i'm doing executive order i know the president doesn't have this power i'm aware of politic but like uh senators fight again in the middle of congress with fists we're going back to the 1920s we're going back to fist fights in congress i don't give a shit how old you are you're getting powdered no more no more fucking yeah no more talking about issues or whatever the fuck solve issues with murder the stronger senators will eat the weaker senators for protein let's make a let's make a purge day oh purge day for senators but who's only in the senate

like who's exempt nobody fuck that that's awful oh i mean i guess if i'm the president i'd be like oh yeah president's except what if they're like super into like mascot horror games would they get if you eat the president you become the president that's the new rule what i mean dude honestly we that should be a rule oh one second actually i'm typing into ping ai again asking can you write me a book called big and round in the oval office it's like the opposite of turning into a giant worm bringing it back to dune let's go. That joke got me pissed into my still suit. Good thing it recycles that shit. Oh, yeah.

Going to drink the piss. Oh, is that a thing? Yeah, your still suit recycles your piss. Recycles your piss, sweat, tears. Yeah, that's right. Wait, no, no, that's right. They talk about that. Do they do that?

Is that also a thing that happens in Master Chief Hale? I swear that was a thing. No, that's a thing that happens in Dune, actually, with Timothee Chalamet. They actually... Weird fact about dune he kept pissing in the still suits so they just had to have 50 of them on tap for him to like switch in and out of and people on set said that the squeaky leather was the worst fucking sound they said it's the worst fucking sound when timothy chalamet in the middle of the set they say this is the worst fucking shit because it makes chalamet in the middle of the set they say this

is the worst fucking shit because it makes oh yeah did you hear the it was like quoted saying to like staff services that like did you know i'm gonna be willie wonka as he like squelched out of his still suit literally had jared leto moments on the set of dune no yes i i know it's not true he really is saying it it's you saying it I already know it's not true I already know I gotta come up with more real fucked up facts so I can get you on your feet again Brendan why would I ever fucking believe that Timothee Chalamet

is walking around with piss filled I'm just saying don't sit here to only respond to Paul or Willie he would not respond to Timothy he would actually tell a lot of people. He would go to craft services and tell the people who worked in catering that he's working on a new movie where he's an old-timey prospector digging gold out in Nevada. But actually, he was just trying to get them to sign a contract so that he could mine in Nevada in an old abandoned gold mine. And he was just trying to get money from them.

He laced all of staff services' food with Adderall as a fucking pension for spice. He wanted to like, you know, he wanted to feel awakened. Hey, Timothee, that's not cool, man. Timothee Chalamet was literally actually quoted on set going, what's a spice for? No, no, no.

No. You will not. You will not you will not that's the most fucked thing I wonder how many people listen to the show and fucking they just at this point they're just like out of nowhere they just do that

I feel like we've done better marketing for the whale than the fucking Darren Aronofsky could ever I think they should just do a sequel and go full gremlins 2 with it. They should send Brendan Daniel in the fucking moon on Europa or whatever. They should send me to Europa just for fun.

Just get rid of me. Transplant me out of Europa. See, this is why I'm not on the main podcast because I either bring chaos or I'm quiet. They should send you there with your Twitch setup and just set you up there. Yeah, make sure that they have my diapers though. quiet you should uh they should send you there with a fucking with your twitch setup and uh just set you up there yeah make sure that they have my uh my diapers though quiet brendan scares me the most because at any point you can just interject with the most like cursed knowledge known to man

oh no that's that's why i love when like uh that's why i love when like somebody else is the focus of the episode because then i can just sit there quietly and like formulate some devious and dubious hijinks and at one point you just always say something and then it's over for all of us. It's like a power word. I've domain expanded. Oh, like a shout. Like a Skyrim shout.

The horror star. Can you do dos or da in Brendan? Dos or you do dos or da in Brindis? Dos or da. Dos or da. No, dos or da. Fuck, I'm not a character. I am Dovahkiin.

Dovahkiin. Dovahkiin. I don't fucking suck the dragon souls. I fucking eat them. We can't do this. Literally can't do this. We can't do this. I'm trying do this. We can't do this. I'm trying to think of other props.

Other props. Other props. What do you mean other props? What would you do if you had the power of God for a day? Should we do fucking questions? Patreon questions. If I had the power of God for the day. I asked a question.

Answer my fucking riddles. Fine. Fine. I'll answer your riddles. Collect my eight pages, Cameron. I put you in Brendan's forest. Collect my eight pages, diphead. I would.

Oh my God. Are you slender? I'm slender. Collect my eight pages, dumbass. Just for a day? You were god for just a day. Just a day? I would make the Dragon Balls from Dragon Ball Z real. That would be so fun. I would put them all around and make people

collect them and then they have to wish. But I would make it so the dragon has final say on if they get the wish or not. So if it's a lame wish, he can just say no. And if I was God after you, I'd make the dragon big and round. These are incredibly basic

answers, but I know that I would have only an evil answer, and I have two answers for this question. Number one is make the date infinitely long so I'm God forever. Fuck you two is i would probably you're you're if you you're that motherfucker who would be like uh genie i wish for more wishes shut up no no i wouldn't my yes you would yes i've formulated my genie plan already third wish is always to set the genie free but without powers and he has to work in an outlet store. You're an asshole.

If the day was infinitely long, that's a monkey poor curl fucking wish, because the Earth's just gonna stop rotating, and we're just all gonna burn and freeze immediately. No, because if the day was infinitely long, it would just have infinite suns. I mean, it depends. Is it a

good genie or a bad genie? Then that's even worse. Then I would harness the power of the infinite suns and break through to the next reality over. You're inventing rules. You're a kid on the fucking playground inventing rules. Yeah, you're cheating, man. You know what's crazy about inventing rules? That's what God does.

You know who likes inventing rules? The Patreon people. Oh, inventing little rules for the Patreon question. Yeah, they're inventing little rules for us and then they're asking us their fucked up questions. Oh, I'm sticking my thumb up my ass and pulling out a whole plum and saying, what a good boy am I?

What a good boy you are. If you're part of the $5 and above tier on Patreon, you can ask a question for the Patreon Q&A. Let's read them. Charles Andrew Ponge asks, what are y'all's diagnoses? Mine is terminal, because I love putting airplanes.

Didn't we fucking answer this one before? I don't know. I just like eating airplanes. Real diagnosis? Dyslexia? I don't know. That's lame. What do you want me to say? I just have unmedicated ADHD.

I have medicated... What's the fucking... Dissociative disorder. What a fun question. Yeah, what's the fucking... Dissociative disorder. What a fun question. Yeah, what a fun question. Thanks, Brandon. You did us good. You did us good. Yeah, I know.

I picked a really good one. Adam Wurchitz asks, you can isekai other people into fictional IPs. Who do you use this on and how for the sole purpose of annoyance and inconvenience? Cameron, song of the south.

You fuck. God damn it. My fucking internet career is never living that down. Wait, that one's in... Does that one have sound? I can't actually remember. Song of the South? That's a Disney

movie. Yes, it does. It has sound? Okay, that's just me constantly... It's a racist musical. This is like me constantly going to the camera being like, I don't want to be here, guys. Like me constantly, like... It's a racist musical. This is, like, me constantly going to the camera and being like, I don't want to be here, guys. Like, please. Like, oh, these guys. What are they up to?

That's fucking weird. Racism? Ooh, not cool. While Disney getting the taser because you're an animated bird? Get back in there. Oh, I would just, like, be one of the dicks in the background

that, like, one of the fucking people was, like, put in there. That'd be would just be one of the dicks in the background that one of the fucking people was put in there. That'd be me. I'd be dick-shaped. Oh, you'd be like the fucking little mermaid? Yeah. Yeah, I want to be the stars in The Lion King that spell out sex. Yes.

No, no, they spell out SFX. It's a cute little Easter egg. I want to be the priest's erection in The Little Mermaid. Well, I'm saying Chippendale Rescue Rangers. When I was a kid and I saw Gadget, I... I fucking knew it. I knew you would... I knew it. I knew it. I'd isekai you into Inspector Gadget,

Brendan. That's fair. I'd just be a normal civilian, though, and I'd never be able to enjoy some of the Gadget hijinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I know the deal. That's fair. Do you think Matthew Broderick would kill a guy in that, too? Yes. I think he... I think canonically Inspector Gadget has killed at least like three people. Like at least in the testing of his gadgets, you know, like one of them's got to fuck up. Go, go, Gadget.

Thermite penis. I think he would say feel the burn. I used to kite Brendan in the ukulele apology video. Oh, I just popped over there. Okay, but like, can you specifically- Give him Macarena's. Can you tween it a little bit so when I pop into the ukulele apology video,

I pop in as like, it's me, but I'm in the body of like 1998 Stone Cold Steve Austin with a steel chair. Oh, that guy's in the Dilbert episode where you get pregnant. Yeah, true. What? True.

I should have said what? That would have been a great wrestling pro. Steve Cold Stone Austin. What? What? That's's what stone cold says what would you do in the fucking banjo apology video what would i do in the ukulele apology video i'd probably just throw up i would make myself throw up immediately so you wouldn't even be able to be you couldn't post it no it has to be posted it's already posted you would post okay okay they're adding me in in post i'm just vomiting on a green screen somebody's just putting it over it just going like a boomer from life or dead i take cameron and i'm i'd put cameron and i'd isekai him in the youtube video the the pizza power or

turtle power the one where all they all like get jizz on a pizza what i? I'm going to easy cut you into the Mandela catalog. Actually, no, I'm easy cutting you into Skinner. No, no, no, no, no. I fucking, I would be so upset. I'd be so upset. Where would I pee? Where would I pee? Come on, Billy. You have to run into the tunnel.

There's a tunnel there, Billy. Run into the tunnel. You have to run into the wall, Billy. I've been skinnering. I mean the tunnel, Billy. Run. Have you seen the video of the guy? Have you seen the video of the guy of the... Have you seen the video of the skitter? The painted tunnel.

I would isakai you into VHS the 2012 version. Let me isakai Cameron into the Rugrats movie, but as a baby. And they just add Cameron to the cast. But you're fully cognizant as an adult trapped in the mind of a baby. That would freak me out. You're gonna be dill pickles, Cameron.

I'm sorry. If the monkey want the nanners, Tommy's going to give them the nanners. If the monkey want the nanners! I'll give them the nanners. That fucking baby's angry. I don't fuck with an angry baby. At some point, somebody's going to find a Tommy Pickle vinyl Funko Pop and say these words. This baby is ancient.

What? Billy, I'm going to put you into the wild Thornberries, and you're going to be like an animal, and you can't say anything when they abduct you. Oh, and you're going to be Donnie's pet. So you're going to have to sit around somebody going, To be fair, I'm really good at doing that. I feel like I could live a long, fulfilling life. If I have food and a place to sleep and hang out with a psycho creep i'd be good this is not you know what you thought i would be upset i don't think it's that bad okay well all right i'm ecycling you directly

into the what is it the 19 maybe 1800s the siberian comet i'd be fucking killed no inside of the comet they're gonna find you oh they'd find me they'd be like they'd find is it, the 19, maybe 1800s, the Siberian Comet? I'd be fucking killed. No, inside of the Comet, they're gonna find you. Oh, they'd find me. They'd be like... They'd find you and say, the Comet is going to crack open, hit the ground, it's going to crack open, and you're going to come out like a Terminator. They'd be freaked out. And then some old farmer with a pitchfork's gonna run up to you and go, devil, devil, devil!

I'd steal his crops. Fuck that guy. Give me your fucking wheat, idiot. I'm going to turn this into grain and then bake my own bread, dumbass. From scratch. Should we do one last question? One last question. Here we go. Drazen asks, PST is given an unlimited budget to make merchandise. However, it can only be spent on creating

late 90s to early 2000s products you'd see on commercials all the time, like Fushigi balls. What are you creating? I am creating Billy and Cameron yo-yo balls. Oh my God. I forgot about yo-yo balls. I'd like to be...

Oh, Brendan Moonshoes. I'm making Tamagotchis of all of the PSD hosts. Clearly not feeding mine. I get it. Writing a note down. Brendan Tamagotchi, do not feed. What was the fucking box stick figure man's where you could put them

together and then they'd do stuff? Cube World. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine would work like that where you could put all the hosts together and then they would

like start like talking about like random shit. See, the problem is you're going to have to keep mine separate because mine's going to be feral. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Brendan kills all the other ones as soon as you like connect them. Yes, you can't attach the... If you want to wipe their memory, you have to attach the Brendan cube and he runs through and

rips them apart with his bare hands. It rips them apart and then it replaces them with clones of Brendan. So your Tamagotchi is now just an... It used to be like a Billy one, but now it's a Brendan one. I used to give you facts about Kingdom Hearts 2 and Ape Escape and now I give you

facts about Iowa. No, no, it just brendan soundboard that just plays like repeatedly oh we haven't had a brendan soundboard no there it is okay there it is like yeah yeah that's fair i knew what i was doing i invoked it i think mandalore gaming ball and hoop or no ball in a cup mandalore mandalila gaming stick and stick and ring wait whale themed hungry hungry hippos holy oh my god and the the it's little pieces the little balls are pizza balls oh my god i need to get on the phone with mattel or asboro or whoever owns the hippo who owns owns the hippo? We need to know. Do you think there's braille versions of the Kama Sutra?

There has to be, right? It must be so awkward to have sex when you're blind. Like, how do you know where you're putting it? There's no braille on the pussy. Have you, I mean, not to get like graphic, but have you never had sex in the dark? Like, I mean. Your eyes can adjust to the darkness in the dark that's not the same it's like what are you fucking invoking evil to promote are you talking like having sex

in a fucking people had sex no way daredevil has sex all the time yeah daredevil has sex all the time that was just a genuine inquiry it's like i and i've like is that a book that they would do in braille yeah comma suture for the blind why would they do do in Braille? Yeah. Kama Sutra for the Blind. Why would they do it in Braille? It's an image. That's a pretty funny image. Found this image as well, which is pretty great. You're just sending us Braille boobs. That's just Braille tits. Please stop sending us Braille tits.

You are literally just sending us Braille tits. Hey, man. What did you expect? Braille sex manual. How much does that cost? Can I buy that? Definitely, you can buy it. Can you read Braille? Yeah.

Really? No, I lied. I'm sorry. I was like, there's no way. I mean, I feel like a lot of it would be about like sensations and sounds. Surely, you just get the audio book. Especially if it's narrated by like an acclaimed actor. Christopher Walken reading the Kama Sutra.

Wow. Oh, geez. Oh, wow. it's narrated by like an acclaimed actor uh christopher walken reading the kama sutra wow oh geez oh wow spio i can't do a good christopher walken pick a different actor uh uh brendan frazier rogan spio pulls out his ma of avenger he uses his penis like a hot dog windshield wiper and then plays with Roach's breasts like an X-Men arcade cabinet. And Sonic High School Chapter 8, I'm sorry. Wait, is that actually? Yeah. Oh, fuck.

And I'm getting art. I'm getting art commissions of myself with a sock-a-mopper butthole. No! Fuck! Fucking fuck! You know, it's more fun than a pillow fight. Hey, hey, hey. Thanks so much for listening.

This episode would not have been possible without the help from our patrons, such as Will9455, WinnieRab, Ulbert,

The Frostace, SphericalMay, Smeat Mono, RockoTheRaccoon, Random Diamonds, Mr. Shirt, Mediocre Client, LeoTheGeotech, Lambda Man, Kawaii

Boy Toy, Handsome Destiny, Guy Beam, Generic Phoenix, Ethereal, Eric Scott Gillies, Echo Stalker, DX Studios, Dog Named Bear, Delling City, Christian Van Angen, Chris Chapman, Cassandra Crash, Caffeine Addicted Chemist, Brain Soup, Boopooloo, Bland But Funny, Beer, Beck Davis, Arda Vagan, and Alan Diver. That's right, I fucking got you. I did a reverse. I fucking did the reverse. I did from Z to A instead of A to Z, bitch.