Please Stop Talking - Dances with Coyotes (feat. Noodle) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: December 6, 2020

Pray with me. Check out our merch store ▶ http://pleasestopshopping.com Support the podcast and Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: David ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Ed ▶ https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Corbin ▶ https://twitter.com/lobbymemez Julian ▶ https://twitter.com/LegitimatNoodle Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Miller Lite. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Lite set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller time. Learn more at MillerLite.ca.

Must be legal drinking age. Hey, if you want to support the podcast, check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash showmeyourmusic. We got a bunch of different tiers with a bunch of really cool rewards for you, uh, PST heads out there. Like asking a question for the patron Q&A or naming an NPC for the D&D podcast. We also recently added exclusive mugs for our top tier patrons.

So if you want to check that out, go to patreon.com slash Sermia Music. I hope you like this show. I love you. It's really fun to stand in the shower and just as loud as you can just go. Because it makes me feel like I'm in like a really sad movie pathetic humans prepared to write down the recipe wait what wait what where you guys started wait I don't know I wasn't even paying attention I'm sorry I just said it as a gag i don't fucking

i don't i don't i've never recorded this i don't fucking know we don't know either and we record this i had a teacher one time who told me uh she was like you need to write a story about something personally tragic that's happened to you and i was like i've lived a pretty privileged life and she she told me I didn't have a nice life what what she she was like oh you need to suffer more yeah she was like you have a very uneventful life and I was like well damn you have it too good you need to build some character damn damn shoddy you need some fucking misery in your life i just copy and pasted the uh bellella thorn this is the time i found out i had dyslexia who is the bellella thorn you don't know who bellella thorn is i guess i'm i swear to god no you're right david corbin's

entire brain is just full of like mid 2000s children's media what the fuck and it's all in my head it's honestly mostly sky high and that's it I'm a sky high head I'm a sky head if you will wait is Ed even here he hasn't said anything in forever I don't know sorry I'm really tired

uh hi my name's Ed welcome to the podcast anybody want to start with the fucking story? Did we even start? Oh, wait. We're just going into it. We're not even doing a nice smooth... We don't have a backlog of that. That's why I was saying good luck, David.

Is that what was happening while I was zoning out? Because I zoned out for quite a while. Yes, it is what was happening. Were you having fucking war flashbacks? I was in my mind palace trying to think of shit to say. I was in the depths of the... Welcome to the podcast. Am I lagging again?

No, you're not. I'm looking at the Discord bars. They're going green, red, yellow, now green. You're fine. We really gotta switch this operation to TeamSpeak. green you're fine we really gotta switch this operation to team speak oh i don't think i i don't think i've ever talked about that one time actually this is a good segue

into one of my stories that i don't think i've ever talked about i know i'm really good at this go on this one time uh that was like way before uh It was pretty much like when Skype was becoming irrelevant and it was changing slowly towards like Discord, TeamSpeak and shit like that. I got a TeamSpeak for me and my IRL homies so that we could play Guild Wars 2 and talk at the same time. Because Skype was just garbage at that point. Everybody was like ditching it.

And we were like doing, I don't know, fucking raids or whatever. Like shit where you get matched with randoms. And we got matched with a fucking, the weirdest fucking dude I've ever met in my fucking life. He was just like, he was just talking about how he was working at Best Buy. And he was like flirting with a bunch of girls and he had like all of their numbers and he was like flat he was like sending us their these girls's numbers and he was like yo you guys should call them you guys should call them and visit arizona sometimes i don't know he was fucking weird as shit and we were like oh bro this guy is fucking hilarious let's like let's bring him in on the fucking team speak and we just like eventually like we were doing raids one night and we just messaged that dude back we went into the recent players we played with and we were like

yo bro you want to join our team speak yo you want to join our fucking guild bro and then and then he just joined in he just joined in and he was so fucking like he was the weirdest dude he had like a bunch of stories about fucking fucking people in in the best by bathroom and shit what the fuck what it was just yeah he was a fucking nut job i fucking love that guy if i could have him on the podcast he has listen this man this man has stories best by guy has stories hey women of best buy if you remember the women of best buy bathroom in arizona in arizona call now that's got to be a small amount of people that man is fine i mean i i don't i think dude he was playing guild wars i think he was he

was uh making shit up to be fair nobody fucks and plays guild wars uh david i have a plot twist actually uh holy shit holland fucks and plays final fantasy 14 and that's basically baby's first guild wars david that guy was me was that you was that you living in Arizona Corbin you're the girl in Arizona but no eventually while we were doing a raid

we just start hearing in his microphone like it was just complete silence for a bit because we were all like gamer mode you know when you're in gamer mode everybody stops talking and you're in gamer mode, you get like everybody stops, starts, stops talking and you're just like in the zone. Yeah. Well, everybody was doing that.

Right. And eventually we just hear like in the back of his fucking microphone. What? And every and then we were just like, hey, man, what's happening? And he was like, oh, he just gets up. We just hear like a bunch of rumbling. And like, he got up from his, from his fucking desk. And he's like, yo guys, I think the coyotes are coming after me, man.

And we were like, we were all like, what the fuck are you talking about? He was like, yeah, give me like 15 minutes. I need to get my gun and I need to scare the coyotes off. They're going to eat my dog again. And we were like, what the fuck is this guy? What? And he just left. And he just left.

And we kept hearing like. Did you hear gunshots? No. That's the thing. Did they get him? We were just like, listen, that's the thing. That's where. That's the thing.

This story ends here. What? He never came back. He never came back. Listen, he stayed. He stayed in the voice chat. No. All night long.

And we never heard of him again. And then eventually he got timed out. Because on TeamSpeak, eventually the server times you out. We could never see him again. He was totally gone. After he left for the Coyote, he never came back. David, how do all of your stories end with someone dead you don't know if that man dead maybe he got raised by coyotes david if he said i have to

go get the gun the coyotes are coming and then he left for ages you never heard gunshots but you still kept hearing the coyotes what do you think happened you know what i want to believe that he's still out there joined them and was raised by coyotes and then he and he was just fucking he's still fucking in best buy bathroom stall i just want to believe that's so bad yeah that's a good fucking pickup line. Y'all was doing raids, right? The coyotes are doing raids. That's the story, man. I'm like 90% sure he's still out there. You're gonna find him

on the street. If anybody knows that man. With like a coyote coat. If anybody knows Arizona Coyote Man. Arizona Best Buy Man, please message me. He's gonna have like a coyote skin coat and scarf and he's going to have a million scars and a huge beard. He's going to be

handing out flyers for his guild. Oh god. What a combination of attributes. What a hero. I had a... What's up with TeamSpeak and just meeting weird people? TeamSpeak was like the weird time.'s up with TeamSpeak and just meeting weird people? Dude.

TeamSpeak was like the weird time. The beauty of TeamSpeak, right, is because you didn't have profile pictures. All you had was a name and a voice. So anyone that you'd meet... A name, a voice, and a plan. So anyone that you'd meet on there, it was just like, this guy's weird. I'm going to keep talking to him and see where this goes.

Yeah. I used to play a lot of uh gmod back in the day like a shitload of uh trouble in terrorist town and since i'm european uh everyone on there either had a really heavy accent or was russian uh so i didn't really make a lot of friends on gmod besides just playing with friends from my high school. But like not everybody loved Trouble in Terrorist Town as much as I did. So I did a lot of solo queuing. And one time in one of those servers, one guy there had an American accent just like me.

He's just like me. And he was really funny. Also just like me and he was really funny also just like me so i was like dude was he was he fucking cranking out punk duck originals no he was cranking out what i later found out was stolen jokes from c nanners videos so that was no it was a really heartbreaking moment yeah they were c c originals they were C originals. Yeah. And then I was just like, talk to him, whatever. That's his word. And then we started hanging out on TeamSpeak.

And then we also ended up playing different game modes like Dark RP. I don't know if you guys know that one or like the Prison Break one. Gmod was cool. That's the one where a bunch of 16 year old kids just go like oh i'm gonna buy fucking fake cocaine and then this is this was around the time where star wars old republic went free to play and we were both like oh uh we both like star wars you want to try it out i was like yeah sure fuck it and he had played mmos before uh and i hadn't so we were just like dicking around um and then when i started playing it i was like hey do you mind if i record this he goes why and i went oh because i have a youtube channel and i had around like

i don't even know how many i had like 2 000 subs maybe if that at the time dude and you know what's gonna get the masses it's a star wars old republic video so i started recording it i mean back to be to be fair though back then that was a huge game no it's still going right it's not it's not dead yet like the servers are still active yeah it's still is it actually it's not i mean it no yeah no it's not a game was pretty fucking big when it came out but that was not when it came out that was when it went free to play that was no it was not that big back then it's no final fantasy 14 i'll say that yeah and we were dicking around in it and then an hour later we were kind of bored because we both realized man this game is not that great so then i asked him

what other games do you play and he and he said oh i fucking play league of legends all the time i just went and then he goes oh why do you do you want to play and i go oh nah i've tried playing it with high school friends but i'm like really bad at it he goes oh no it's fine we can do a couple summoners rifts i'm like no dude i need to warn you i am so shit i don't even know the base mechanics or anything my friends taught me nothing he was like no it's good it's fine i'll teach you and then no uh so i got on league with this guy and then he was like you know max level whatever he was fucking x amount of uh mineral and ranked i don't know what they're called. And

we start playing Summoner's Rift and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Like, this was even before I played Smite. Like, I had no idea Homo was worked. So I was, like, inting. I was running at people who were, like, three levels above me. And this guy was getting

so mad. And he was fucking And this guy was getting so mad. He was fucking screaming at the top of his lungs and telling me like, what are you doing? Why do you keep running at him? And then at a point, he just got quiet whenever I kept asking him questions. He just wasn't answering. And then like the 10 minute mark hit.

And he was like, hey, you see the F6 button or whatever the surrender key button was please hit that and then we hit it and then i hit it and the game ended and he just went on a fucking rant at me about how a waste of space oh my god all this shit and i was like what what do you mean i mean i warned you i'm just not good at this game and i and he was like there's a difference between not being good at this game and being fucking retarded and i was like i don't know how this game works and he was like i never and this one i remember as a quote and he was like i never try a new game without at least watching like 10 tutorial videos on YouTube because if I don't do that I'm just wasting my fucking time and that's what you did to me you wasted my

fucking time and then he made me watch as he unsubscribed from my channel he made you watch and uh held my eyes open I have never spoken to that man ever again

he disappeared what the fuck it was the weirdest shit for the longest time I thought that was a thing that like, quote unquote, hardcore gamers did. Because I just like, I know I play games casually. So I asked my friend who was like a semi-pro, who was a semi-pro CSGO player. And I was like, hey, did anything this guy say make sense?

And I was like telling him how like, oh, yeah, every time he tries a new game game he always watches like a billion streams and videos first to learn it and then my friend just went oh man that guy was a fucking psycho i mean yeah no that's fucking psychotic that's fucking insane i can't believe he made you watch him unsubscribe that's the funniest part of that story just like all right this is what you get motherfuckers we because we always talked on gary's mod and then when we um when we uh were playing uh old republic we switched to uh skype why man good time i because we didn't have a fucking team speak server because with team speak you can call people you just have a server oh yeah Yeah. Shouts out. Jesus fucking Christ.

Fucking weird man. I don't know what he was expecting. I told him like so many times, like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm legitimately terrible at this game. So I was just, I was like,

like during the minion farming phase, I was just like running at people like under tower. That's what I do. That's what I do. people are just fucking crazy no yeah he seems fucking psycho i want to meet him i want to meet him too we should have him on the podcast weird development because he was so chill and we were just like dicking around on old republic and like like, I know the Old Republic jokes. Maybe they were stolen. Who knows?

But like, I mean, because like on TTT, who was just going like, oh, yeah, tell me a joke. And if I don't laugh, you're you're the traitor or whatever. Classic. Yeah. Crazy, man. I had this crazy fucking person coming to work this was pre-covid uh i was at best buy and uh i hadn't been working there for very long it was like my first or like second month there so i'm still very new and like learning how to talk to customers and stuff.

And, um, this one dude is like looking around, he looks really confused. And so I go up to him like, Hey man, like you need any help, like find anything or anything I can help you with.

And he's like, Oh yeah. He's like, I don't know if you're going to be able to help me with this. Uh, but I'm having some problems with an app on my phone. I was like, I was like,

Oh, I can, you know, I can look at it. He probably just doesn't know how to open the phone because he's a boomer. I was like, yeah, I don't really know anything about this app, but I can help you look and see what's going on. He's like, okay, anything helps.

He seemed pretty nice. And it was a security app, and it like all of his cameras around his house and they weren't connecting and i tried to mess around with it for a little bit but then eventually i was just like hey man like without actually going to your house uh there's nothing i'd be able to do to like really help you unfortunately don't tell me oh no no no i wake up in his house uh no he's like oh that's that's all right he's like it's fine because if you can't help me with that though can you help me with one thing i was like yeah sure man what's up and he gets this is pre-covered so he gets really close to me and he goes do you know when you're gonna die and I was like

what uh I do not have the social skills to get out of this conversation but I am shitting my pants I was like my heart was just beating so fast because I was like yeah

this is how I die this guy's gonna stab me in the middle of a fucking best buy he's gonna ruin this shirt that i got a month ago oh man that's the worst part man never fuck with a man's best buy shirts and i was like what do you mean he's like do you know when you're going to die is this some cult shit is he gonna like so fucking slip you a fucking fire or something kind of oh no and i was i was like no hopefully not soon and he goes well have you repented for your sins there it is and i was like ah now i understand and like i'm christian so i was like, ah, now I understand. And like, I'm Christian. So I was like, all right, I'm ready to be like, yo, I'm about to own zone this cult guy with actual Bible fact.

Oh, no. That didn't happen solely because he kept scaring the shit out of me. Like, he was like, well, are you going to hell and i was like what do you mean i was like oh man like i don't know like that's not really for me to decide like you know how am i to know and he goes well if you repented for your sins you would know that you're not going to go to hell and i was like you're sounding like i'm like you're gonna send me there pretty soon dude and he's giving off real creepy vibes now and then he starts talking to me about the bible and i'm like okay like shut your mouth

i'm at work and then i kind of just zone him out until he goes will you pray with me and i i was just like excuse me and he goes pray with me and then like grabs my hands and in the middle of the best buy in the middle of the best buy like we're not even in a corner we're not behind a desk we're straight up standing in the middle of best buy and he was like repeat after me and i was like i want to have the i want to have the perfect image of what's happening here what area are you in like the dvd area are you in the mobile are you in the videos game mobile in the very middle of the store no that's like the middle front isn't that yes that's like the front of the fucking place and i'm holding hands with this oh my god middle-aged man and he's screaming at me to repeat what he's saying.

And I was like, I don't know what you're saying. I don't want to repeat them. Like screaming? Screaming? Like yelling? He was like, repeat after me. And I was like, I don't want to. And he was like, repeat after me.

And I was like, okay. And so we just started praying. And I was just like, and I'm like, I'm about to start fucking crying. Cause I'm freaking the fuck out. And he's, he's like screaming at me, making me pray with them.

And I think he's thinking I'm having this. He's going through a breakthrough. That's why he's crying. No, I'm shitting a hole through my pants. I'm fucking terrified. And then he's done. He goes, okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

And then walks out. I'll see it. That was secret boss. That was undercover boss. That was a test. I mean, I did a good job because i stayed with the customer the entire time and i immediately the season he's gonna give you a raise you did you did good with that church thing you know that crazy i really liked how you cried when he was praying at you that was me he

pulls off his fucking mask i noticed you shed a hole through your pants i got you new pants corbin here's a 12 gift card to the gap i'm just like standing there though just like shaking like floored presumably right i mean like what the fuck like on the edge of a panic attack because like what the fuck just happened uh like i'm new here this is this how every day is that's that's such a i can't believe he closed it with i'll see you tomorrow that's so ominous is the scariest thing he could have told you yeah that's the Yeah, that's the worst. Did you see him tomorrow? Well, immediately after that,

I was standing there for a minute just like, what the fuck? Just trying to compose myself to understand what the fuck was going on. And I immediately sped walk over to my boss and I was like, I just had a really strange customer interaction. He was like, are you okay? And I was like, I think so, but I don't know. Because I was worried about it because he was like are you okay and i was like i think so but i don't know

uh because i was worried about because he was like i'll see you tomorrow i was like this guy's gonna like follow me home from work or some shit uh and he's like well what happened and i was like well he just asked me like a seemingly normal question i tried to help him but it was something that i couldn't help him with. And then he asked me if I knew when I was going to die and made me pray with him. And he goes, Oh,

John, I was like, what the fuck? He goes, yeah. Next time that guy tries to talk to you, just walk away. And I was like,

I didn't know what was going on. I feel like this should have been like day one preparation. Hey, if fucking John comes in walk away he's like yeah that guy tries to pray with everyone here what the fuck have you seen John recently he did not come in the next day

and I have not seen him since because I know his face yeah I would assume so after that although my my vision was distorted from the tears in my eyes holy fuck that's fucking insane i had something like not as scary happened to me when i when i started like it was maybe my um well it was around like my first or second month when I was working at McDonald's. When I was in secondary, which is like middle school, high school.

At one point, the employee door had a code on it. And you had to press the buttons to open it. And at one point, it was my break. And I just was my break and uh i i just i i just like finish started my break i got i opened the code i go get my my clothes and shit and i exit and there was this old man like sitting right next to the door and he he just like he just said like, you know, I could steal everything in there. And I was like, and I was like, I was like,

excuse me. I just like looked at him. I said, excuse me. So I didn't hear. And then he was like, everything in there. I could steal it.

I was like, I'm sure. I was just like i i just said like okay what the fuck do you answer to that no that's the perfect answer like there's there's nothing to that and then he just kept saying like he just said like the numbers of the code and he said that's the code right and i was like i'm not saying i'm not i can't say and then he just said like the numbers of the code and he said, that's a code, right? And I was like, I'm not saying I'm not, I can't say. And then he, he just said like,

no, I, I know I'm right. I know I'm right. And then he got up and he never broke eye contact and he just left the restaurant. And I was like, whoa,

whoa, he's going to stab us. He's going to come in and stab us. What the fuck is it with these people? Dude, I just like, I just like remembered being so scared. I just went in. I was like, bro, I don't want him to steal my fucking vape. I don't, I think not all of these people are crazy.

I think because some of these are relatable. I think some of these might just be people that lost an odds on. No, no, that was an old man, but they don't play odds on. I would play odds on if I was old. Yeah, but you're not. Those kind of people, boomers don't play odds on. Okay, that's fair. Boomers are just whack.

He was probably lonely and he was like bro i'm gonna look so badass when i tell this kid i think i can think lonely is how most of these happen yeah i think for the listeners who don't know of the odds on that we do is like hey go fuck with this person if you lose i think i think i mean that's fair my favorite was um we wait really quick for the listeners who don't know what's odds on oh some people might know it as odds are it's just a thing wherever you like you're like um it's like pick a number yeah like oh like one out of five and you're chilling out with the boys and you'd be like yo what are the odds you go walk up to that dude and scream in his face and then run away

we just call that what are the odds yeah and then it was three two one and then you both say a number and if it's the same you have to do it yeah over here we more often call it odds are or what are the odds but it's the same shit yeah okay westerners just odds

regardless my favorite one was probably um we were just walking up to this bar area and then uh there was for some reason people bring their kids here sometimes it's the stupidest shit and i'll never get it i don't wait at a bar like a bar area like a little aaza with just all bars and tables. I guess they go there with their kids to eat, but I would not go there. Okay, okay, okay.

Because there's a lot of drunk teenagers. And there was just a dad with his kids, and one of them was on a little tiny bike. And then he fell and started crying. And I turned to my friend and I went, odds on you go up to that kid and you go cry more which the actual quote itself was odds on you go up to that kid and go qq more because when you type hang on for the non for the listeners currently uh when you type, hang on, for the listeners currently, when you type QQ, it looks like two crying eyeballs.

Oh my god. Like the two letters Q. And that was a thing that we said a lot. And it was like 1 in 20, and we both said 14. Oh fucking god. Me and my friend had to watch the guy who lost casually saunter over to a crying child with a beer in his hand. No. And then for the entire time that he walked over to him, the dad never broke eye contact with that guy.

Oh my God. And then I just, we couldn't really hear it. No. But I just saw him walk over to the kid, point at the kid, and then walk back to us. That's so fucked. The point is what makes it. I think... Why?

Because he walked up, pointed, went, QQ more, and then left. He probably thought he was speaking a different language I think the worst one that my friends ever got me with was someone was like what are the odds you walk up to that guy and then just elevator pitch your YouTube channel to them

no that's awful I know I had to do it yeah I lost that one that's fucking great so what do you say? I don't remember. I blocked most of it out of my memory. It's a coping mechanism. I don't want to remember that.

It's like the worst. It was at a convention too. Oh, yes, dude. Dude, I should do that to someone and like, okay, I should make business cards and next time me and david next time we go and you say that like that's out of the realm of possibility but

i have had multiple people give me their youtuber business cards yeah yeah no that's what i'm saying okay when we went to pax okay next time we go to pax yeah we we have to make business cards we make business cards and we have to do odds always. And if he loses, he has to do an elevator pitch sale of my channel. No, of my channel. Oh my God. And if you lose, you have to do it for PST. Easy. Oh, dude.

No, that's easy. I feel like it's so much worse to do your own channel. It is. It absolutely is. It is so much worse to do your own channel. It is. I feel like it is so much worse. Speaking from experience, it is. If I had to elevator pitch PewDiePie or something, it would not be anywhere near as bad. Yeah, I wouldn't have any...

I feel like I would have an easier time. I'd be like, yo, listen, man, my friend's struggling over here. Yeah, my friend PewDiePie, he needs some more subscribers, man. Yeah, I feel like I could struggle my i could like go for the sad puppy part like yeah man my my friend just lost his his wife you know but yeah it's so bad you it's like your own yeah if it's your own then then you it's so much worse because you can't you i mean i mean i guess you could be like yo i just lost my wife. Can you just support me? Why is this the angle I'm going for? You don't know where she is.

I don't know where she is. My channel is dedicated to finding my wife. No, listen, I don't know where she is. If you can find her, can you comment on this video? I have no idea where my wife is. The last thing I heard was coyotes. Listen, if you see her, just shoot me a comment.

Shoot me a comment on episode 50. Who was that really weirdly pathetic man at the bar when we were at PAX who gave me his business card for his World of Warcraft channel? I swear, you've talked about this before on the podcast. No, it was not a Smite channel I was the Smite channel

You did talk about that on the podcast I'm getting deja vu Yeah cause he asked me what I What I did and I was like Oh I do stuff for Smite He was like oh I was a beta tester for Smite That game was some ass And I went it is

Sounds like he's a beta male i swear i still have a business card because what this thing i have my wallet is so fucking fat not for money i am a very poor man but because it's either pictures of me and my girlfriend or youtubers business cards that i still have i have i i still have uh... Do you remember Jewel from the Monster Hunter Festa thing? Fuck. She took our coats. She took our coats? No fucking way.

She was like, Hey, sweet. She was like, Hey, sweeties. And she was like, she was like, if you need me after the show, just give me a call.

Oh my God. And then she gave us her... David, please stop. I still have Jewel. You need to stop doing the voice good fucking lord because you sound like that guy that did the audiobook for the southern black woman essay oh no david if you're a fucking coward you're gonna not put that in the in the podcast for context i'm gonna keep it i'm gonna keep it but you're gonna you're a fucking coward you're gonna not put that in the in the podcast for context i'm gonna

keep it i'm gonna keep it but you're gonna you're gonna put a little clip of that every you have to put a very tiny clip just so the listeners know what we're talking about please the art of speculating i'm a southern black woman who stands in the long shadow of the civil rights movement. Southern hip-hop helped me navigate the contemporary black South. Oh my god, I didn't even notice I was doing that, dude. I will send it to you. I was fucking

crinkling in my chair, you fucking idiot. I was like, why are you doing the voice? Stop doing the voice! Listen, he's just trying to show off his vocal range she was a southern woman that's all I remember and she just she was just like

she was just like if you need if you need after the after the show man I'm fucking free and I was like oh my god was she a prostitute I mean that's the vibe I got she looked like one Jewel is a prostitute with a name like Jewel man

yeah she was a prostitute can I have her card? what else would we need her for? I mean I guess emotional support she was such a sweet lady I mean rumor has it prostitutes are very nice

rumor has it I wouldn't know, but you know, sources say. According to statistics, most prostitutes that get called on the job, the guys just ask her to like, hey, could you just be nice and pretend to be my girlfriend for like an hour? Most of them don't even get laid. Yeah. Wow.

A lot of old people hire prostitutes. It's really sad. I mean, fucking Japan made a whole business out of it oh okay never mind patreon questions oh yeah yeah wow story if you're gonna be invited to this podcast you better if you if you get on this podcast you better have a story or else we're cutting out your audio that's fair or someone subscribing and making you watch well I was actually waiting for I was waiting for a smaller

segue because this isn't a story but it just tied into the Corbin Best Buy shit because I also used to work at Best Buy and like in multiple ways I worked at Best Buy and I also did like over the phone support for people who worked in Best Buy

so I would be more specific, but I can't because I'm literally under an NDA to not be more specific. He was the Best Buy prostitute. I'm confused. NDAs don't expire. I'm just a bit confused.

What do you mean by they don't expire? That's not true ndas do some ndas do real shit some ndas okay well i mean probably not the ones i signed uh uh what was i what what is the what do you mean by best buy support group i was helping out sales representatives for a company who didn't know what they were doing oh that's good um and i wish i was there for it but i'd mostly it's fine you're talking to us no one else will be able to know that's true that's true yeah nobody you're just it's just let me stop recording real

quick that way it's off the record shit fuck fuck so um i most of these stories that i have from best buy are second hand because i wasn't there for it i was just hearing the accounts of it but there were people who would like one dude brought in an entire like industrial sized uh trash bag full of phones he just lugged in his back to the kiosk and he was like hey i need you to format every single one of these um they're in the trash bag because the government is trying to spy on me the moment you said it does feel sized i knew this guy was going to be the tinfoil like conspiracy not tinfoil it was like a double xl

fucking black garbage bag and he just brought out all these phones and half of them didn't even work but he's just like one by one okay format this format this what the fuck man you know how long it takes to format one phone it takes a fucking while because yeah i mean shit does he pay it's a free service do you don't yeah that's fucking ass i think we just had to turn them down we're just like yeah we can't we can't do this dude yeah um that sounds like a fucking eric andre sketch that wasn't just eric andre because that is something he would do yeah just pull up to a fucking like tech store with an industrial bag full of phones and just ask them yeah fix it. Yeah. You're right. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Most of the Best Buy shit is like, what's weird is that it feels, I guess this isn't too weird, but like most of the stuff that happens there feels crazy at the time. But in retrospect, it's like not that big of a deal. Like that's the only one that really stuck out to me. Shut up, Zoe.

That's my dog. That's your coyote. Yeah, that's my dog that's your coyote yeah that's my coyote your coyote she's coming to eat me be right back guys speaking of vor let's saw let's go to the patreon oh my gosh damn i actually had another story something for related no i i mean probably hey julian maybe next time hey david remember remember to kick Julian after this episode. Yeah, absolutely. Tier five dollar question. Okay, cool. Pick it. Yeah, yeah.

That's fine. Yeah. Was there any question that you guys found? I didn't check the questions. Julian, what's your story? It's cool that you asked that, Casey. So you can stop fucking crying about it. Thanks for asking, Casey, but we'll have to wait until the next podcast for that one.

So Winchester Curse asks, how are all of you doing? I was going to read that one. Sorry, Corbin. We don't all get what we want. Some of us work at Best Buy. What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. All left. Dude, what the fuck? What was that? This is why you can't talk to fucking YouTubers anymore. They're all the same. How are you, Corbin? I'm doing pretty good.

Corbin, how are you? I was doing... You know what? I was doing good. I was fine. Jesus. Well, that's good to hear. Julian, what the fuck?

That's good to hear. Anyway. Julian, how are you doing? You know, I'm great. I'm that's good to hear. Julian, what the fuck? It's good to hear. Anyway. Julian, how are you doing? You know, I'm great. I bet you'd be happy after that one. Yeah, I bet you'd be great after that one. Fucking asshole. Julian, I wasn't even the one who didn't let you tell your story, but you took it out of me.

Noodle Animations is such an asshole, bro. You know, I thought i could tie it around because i was like we work at best buy and i was like well i mean i used to i'm wearing this shirt right now so you know i'm wearing this shirt right now fuck yeah you're wearing a best this is comfy why are you wearing polyester i just got off work julian you may have worked at best buy but you ain't no best guy oh shit this is so fuck you asshole also i really want to read this question just because of this person's name sure hey shadow looks like a hedgehog got your tongue step aside and let the real ultimate life form handle things asks what song did you lose your

virginity to and can you still listen to it just i i just want the i just wanted this on record i bitched about this question before we started recording because it is so unnecessarily specific anyway continue i don't think i've ever listened to music and fucked i have or if i did i wasn't paying it i mean i would if i did i wasn't paying attention to the music okay what song do you sing the way this question is phrased implies that you can lose your virginity more than once and also listen to music yeah actually multiple times no i mean like no yeah that's not what he's implying at all he's just saying that like can you still listen to the song that you lost your virginity to because what it's implying is

i wasn't listening the experience of you losing your virginity was terrible because that's what most people's is. It implies that whenever you lose your virginity, which you can do at least once, you also A, happen to have been listening to a song and B, can also still listen to it. Like, what?

Why are we dissecting the mechanics of this question? It fucking sucks! It doesn't suck! Okay. It doesn't suck. Julian, okay. It doesn't suck. Change it. Okay, let's change it.

Julian, I haven't been on this podcast long enough to see questions that actually suck. Okay, how about that? How many ducks can do this? It wasn't during when I lost my virginity, but this one time I fucked to... I'm also changing it from music to movie. What?

What? Since when? I haven't even answered it. Because it's funnier if... My answer's funnier if it's not about music. My answer's funnier if I change the question. Yeah, I was listening to... I was watching The Adventures of food boy and i fought

okay i'll give that we fucked during the bread scene oh god okay uh i went over to a girl's house um and the song teardrops on my guitar was playing uh oh no she she had already mainly disrobed I start to take off my shirt she looks at me and laughs and she goes you're joking right oh yeah

I love that song oh man I still listen to it when I need to cry oh my god mine was the um what's it called again hang on i need to look at their discography to to figure out what this song is called it was a song by bare neck bare naked ladies naked lakeys yeah bare naked lakeys what did it and um i was listening to the theme song from big bang theory when i fucked

oh bazinga yeah um yeah nice dude because she had um she had big bang theory on in the background this was the swedish lady by the way she had it on in the background over tv yeah and then i think it's just the big bang theory theme yeah that's the name i got ahead to um the lyricist going our whole universe was in a hot dead state oh my god i was doing it to the movie princess and the frog and i was like i'm sorry i have to turn this off um and i have a similar dig a little deeper sorry for me uh for me i literally like lost my erection because the song freaking you started playing and i just went i can't do this i can't do this anymore wow because it was the all about sex from part five a song about sex turns you off because it's related to the anime you like fucking hilarious have you ever actually listened to

yes it's fucking hilarious yeah i i literally just went soft and went we're gonna have to pick this up tomorrow yeah well mine is this is so sad the joke for everyone is that I have not had sex this is so sad anyway okay um thanks for listening to the podcast oh my god are we ending on that

are we ending on the fucking I'm a virgin bit I don't know about that bit? move on move on let's find a question let's move on i haven't read the questions i'm waiting for you guys to move on hey hey i found a i found a question if we want to do the question oh yeah yes what's the question um i don't know what amoral means i need to know what that means first not moral oh oh okay why why would they not just say immoral amoral lacking a moral sense amoral like something that's just wrong and you know it i don't have a thesis in reading oh

amoral i don't know never mind that's based so shafter blaster asks what's the most amoral thing someone you know has done that you 100% supported slash agreed with? Oh, that's a hard one because I never... Yeah, because if something is amoral, I'm not inclined to agree with it. Amoral is like really bad. No, amoral is like morally neutral.

It's like ambiguous, right? Amoral is lacking... Isn't amoral lacking... Isn't amoral lacking like bad like no that's immoral morality i thought i understood this i thought no wait no you're right you're right yeah amoral is just like there's no rightness or wrongness of it yeah i i think they meant immoral well this is a pretty drastically different question depending on that specificity. Because, I mean, amor is just like...

Well, regardless, my friend who was dating this girl that she was fucking head over heels for him, but he could not give a fuck. He was at this stage where like he was just looking for any excuse to break it off with her and then at a point he tells me um you know what man i think i'm just gonna break up with her tomorrow

and i was like all right fair enough and then his girlfriend was talking to me and she said oh what do you think blank wants for Christmas and I was like oh god she doesn't know yet no this was ages ago

and I was like oh I didn't say anything I just went like oh I don't know. I don't really know what he wants. I'm not really going to get him anything. And then she went, because I'm thinking of getting him an Xbox One. Oh.

Whoa. I was close. Proud of you. And I went, hey, that's a bit pricey uh and then uh later on we were on discord uh i was telling him about that because like i didn't really like her either she was just asking me because i knew him and i told him that like hey it would be really funny if you didn't break up with her and you just waited till Christmas. Oh my... No, Ed. Ed, you did not. You're a fucking asshole.

Oh my fucking god. And then he said, oh, I'm totally gonna do that. No! Oh no! And then he fucking did. Thanks for the xbox also you know what the funniest shit is

he was like oh man i'm really looking forward to the master chief collection and then that fucking bombed so he never used it ever again oh my god yeah that is immoral that is and not yeah that's pretty decisively

not good i didn't do anything i don't think i've ever done to be no i know but you were the one that told him i did tell him because i was like, that'd be funny if you did this, but don't. And then he just did. I would say for me, it was when I had a friend who wanted to tell a story. And then another friend named David didn't let him. And at first I disagreed with David. But after some things that Julian said to me, I now fully stand by David saying. It wasn't even David, it was me. It wasn't even David.

It was Scott Free. I like that you were really vague and then later just name dropped everyone and then got one of the names wrong. I should have just kept it vague. Fuck! Now everybody knows, god damn it! Now everybody knows that I'm actually a bad person. This is so sad. Dude, I've never done anything like that though that's the thing i feel like every time one of my friends is doing something really shitty i would that's not true do tell

oh that's not true actually well it's not one time one of my friends was bullying a brony. And I just... Okay. And I mean, I guess I just egged him on and I was like, oh yeah, keep going. He deserves it. He's a brony. I mean, that's like the worst it got. I mean, he just got bullied until he left the Discord server and that's pretty much it. Yeah.

I think I've done something like that with a Homestuck fan once or twice, but that was a long time ago. What the fuck is Homestuck? Can someone tell me? It's a webcomic. It's a webcomic? It's a webcomic. I don't know what it is.

Is it Undertale? No, but Toby Fox worked on Homestuck prior to creating Undertale and that's... So he wrote for Homestuck. He wrote music for Homestuck. But it's a webcomic. It's like a webcomic but it has animation. Yeah, it has some animated Flash

based animation sequences for important events. Yo, can't believe Undertale died. Yeah, really fucked up. Fucking hell. Yeah, because Flash is dead. Flash doesn't exist no more. Wait, I can't play Undertale anymore?

This is a bit. I'm opening CoolMathGames right now. I have no fucking clue what's going on. It's an unfunny bit, don't worry. This is so sad. Just Flash was there. can we end this episode i'm can i be honest like i've had like i've been i've been just like i feel it peaking out dude i need to go to the bathroom so bad it's been an hour. Well, in that case,

Boomstick asks, if you could insert another podcast member into a moment in your life, which moment and what? This is a bad question. I want to be in David's bathroom right now. I want everybody to come with me to the bathroom right now so that you can just clap.

Can we do the clap check in the bathroom? Yeah, okay. Okay, wait. Three, let's go. Can we do the clap check in the bathroom? Yeah, okay. Okay, wait. All right. Three, two, one. Here's the headline. Patrons on a mission.

Kill the competition. Sell the next edition We'll be out there Carrying the podcast through it all Hey, I want to thank a few patrons For sticking with us Top tier patrons, you might say Huge thank you to AJ Wigglesworth

Alan Diver Alex Steer Ark Ben Chrisman Ark, Ben Chrismanik, Bike, Bake? Sorry. Boop Hulu, Buckshot Papaya, Capsad, Clayotic, Dead Dreams, Desric Gothroy, Dreams of Ice, Ducky Madness, Eric Scott Gillies, Fang Jade, Generic Phoenix. Hey, Shadow Shadow, looks like the hedgehog got your tongue, step aside and let the real ultimate life form handle things, Jeff Smith, Jonathan Sobrin, Manuel Martinez, Marcus Sotelo, Miyako, Notoriety, Pyropat,

Seawolf812, Sky, Taylor, Teague, That Man, Travis Vapes, Unarmed Toaster, William Oliver, Thanks so much for supporting the podcast, y'all. Thank you.