Please Stop Talking - Fear and Loathing in DFW | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

What about the Bourne Identity? PICS MENTIONED: http://bit.ly/PSTEP39 Support the podcast and David on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Humble Bundle Monthly: http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle: https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Join the PST Discord server!: https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Avery - https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David - https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic David's Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2gAtGSJ Ed - https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Mandy - https://twitter.com/Lord_Mandalore Podcast - https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Podcast also available on Spotify and iTunes! iTunes: https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify: https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Art by Madbuns: Twitter - https://twitter.com/mad_buns DA - https://madbuns.deviantart.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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tired of paying full price for gasoline we left the station without filling up and now lay here stranded hope of rescue waning hand in hand with our sanity. We only made it two miles and a tow truck is on the way. Stop lying down and help me push the car, Avery. Cameron hadn't accepted it yet. I don't think he could bear to let down his fans at home, but I've been around. I know the score. Kyle, if you do that when the tow truck arrives, we're never gonna get anywhere. Cut it the fuck out. As I stared up into that bright blue abyss, one thing kept running circles around my mind. What that strange man said on the phone. Stop driving when 3.6 is 15,000.

What did he mean by this? I told you, half an hour ago. It's a Chernobyl reference. The delusions have begun. I'm seeing and hearing things now. Wonderful things. Did you know you can get great video games for just $12 a month? No. This month's early unlocks are Slay the Spire and Squad.

Oh god, I've been meaning to play those. Just head on down to humble.placestopshopping.com now. The Sharks. Good to meet you. Avery! Jesus fucking Christ. What's wrong with you? The tow truck guy's here. We're. The sharks. Get demanded. Avery! Jesus fucking Christ, what's wrong with you? The tow truck guy's here. We're leaving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, um, hang on. 25 to 45 on KHBO. God stopped listening a long time ago.

Wait. Excuse me, sir. What station are you listening to? KHBO. Why? Cameron. Cameron, I figured it out. I wish I never found your channel, Avery. I'm just drinking from mine now. Welcome to the podcast. We're going from there.

I don't even give a shit anymore. Take it away, David. Welcome to season four. Of Frasier. How's everybody been? It's been a while. It's been a while. I'm fucking sweating my balls off for you, David. I hope you know that. I'm sweating my ass off too. I'm sweating so much.

Everybody turned off their AC. It's fine. We're all sweating. We're just a bunch of sweaty boys in a voice chat talking about our vacation stories, I guess. David, do you want to start? Do I want to start?

We have a lot. A lot of small ones. Go ahead with your small ones. I talk about my vacation, but mine was fucking depressing. So go ahead. We could talk about how I tricked Avery at the airport immediately. We could talk about that. We could talk about the traps.

Oh, the deafness at the restaurant? Oh my god, there's so much. There's a lot that happened. Actually. Funny, funnily enough, when we were in the car and you were driving me back to the airport after Colorado,

Avery, you, you straight up told me like, Mandy's going to pull something at the airport. I said, I said, Mandy's going to fuck with me when I land. I know.

I'm so fucking glad. He called it. He a hundred percent called it he 100% called it god what did you do okay you can tell it I'm very excited to hear this so Avery and I really don't know what each other

I kind of know what he looked like but I he knew me from descriptions and I was like maybe he forgot yeah and I was like I said he probably forgot and so I brought Dimitri. Dimitri's a very large bear-like man. He's 6'4 in all directions. Yeah, he's fucking huge.

And so I left a description of him, but I'm like, I'll be waiting for you at this area. And I had him go over there. And so the thing is, I think Avery remembered what I actually look like a little bit more because I looked at him and he looked at me. Yeah. He looked at me and he walked up to me and I just looked up at him with this

fucking blank expression. Like I had no idea who he was and he goes like dying. Yeah. And he goes like, Oh, and he like turns around. He's like looking around. He looks at his phone.

Like, I'm sorry, sir sir and then i see him he goes up to dimitri but i'm like i told dimitri don't fucking say anything because he'll know he'll know that's not my voice and so avery points at dimitri dimitri just points at him and they're just fucking pointing at each other jesus and i'm like okay angle him so i can get behind avery and I'm like okay angle him so I can get behind Avery and I can like you know fucking get him I can sneak up on him but he's not fucking angling him around so then I just had to walk up

and fucking slam my hands on his shoulders but from the side so he could clearly see me approaching yeah I could clearly see him approaching also he was dressed like Nintendrew, which was a detail he loved. What does that mean? You told me about that.

That's exactly what you said. I mean, he's buying a really shitty flannel. That's exactly what I said to David. I was like, Mandy's going to dress up like Nintendrew and then he's going to take me back to his apartment. It's going to be the Nintendrew set. Is that a nightmare of that? You told me you told me

exactly that because we were while we were in the car we were talking about nintendru from some for some fucking reason and you said man he's gonna dress like nintendru at the airport i cannot believe you called it that's right well he said i had a nightmare that your your uh your apartment was fucked yeah i never approached the nintendru set. I immediately said, oh, I'm going to buy a really oversized flannel now. Just like one of those big checkered ones. Except it was fucking hot out, so I was also

wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt, and it was going down to my fucking knees. It looked horrible, but it would upset Avery. Oh, man. He was wearing his epic graphic t-shirt and his flannel and his bright blue shorts.

It was very good. And then we took Avery to a Chinese restaurant. I kind of want to point one thing out because it was my immediate impression of Mandy because I assumed he would be a forest man. And when we get out of the

airport, we're driving down like a road and if you walk 10 feet off the road in either direction you're just in the woods but you can see like three other roads at the same time and mandy just goes god i want to get out of this concrete nightmare there's no trees anywhere and he didn't fucking understand to later like oh this is trees for you yeah so i thought i thought because of everything that happened at the airport that this was some other layer of fucking with me that i didn't understand and i thought i was fucking dying anyways we were into the chinese restaurant i guess context was that um i had a back injury story short, they gave me some medicine that lowered my immunity. And I got an ear infection in both ears, which was over by the time Avery came.

But my ears were still plugged up. So I was effectively half deaf, if not more than that. I would say three quarters deaf. Did the medicine for your back affect your ears? No, it was like an anti-inflammatory thing. Yeah, steroids. Yeah, and it lowered my immunity. And I'd been going to a pool to stretch things out. I tried to do some

exercises, but ended up the water in my ears caused an ear infection that spread to both. Because my immunity was fucking shot. So we're like, oh, we'll take Avery to a nice Chinese restaurant. The thing is, I can't remember half of what I fucking said because only Avery heard it. Only Avery and Dimitri heard what I was saying.

Well, the thing about the Chinese restaurant you took me to was it was a Chinese restaurant behind another restaurant off the road. That was like this giant white stone building that had no windows and lion statues flanking the doors. Yeah. So I immediately thought I was about to be harvested for organs. Well, that's because Dimitri was talking about, like, cannibalism on the fucking drive over. He was talking about cannibalism while we were driving over. He was like, have you heard of cannibals? Do you think they're real?

What? Yeah. Do you believe in cannibals? Personally, I don't believe in cannibals. What do you think you would do when confronted by a cannibal? It was like Pulp Fiction, except there's like a grizzly bear in the front seat, turned around, asking you how you feel about cannibalism and stuff.

If there were humans that were raised specifically to be eaten, would I eat them? Probably. Oh, that's like the manga. Sure. He's asking them all these questions about how you feel about cannibalism and it's like, alright, now we're going're gonna pull to the restaurant with no windows the large stone minecraft like building white stone minecraft building flanked by lion statue with giant heavy

wooden doors and then mandy open we open the door mandy walks in the guy at the front goes oh just three tonight like oh he recognizes him and i'm like i'm definitely getting harvested for organs tonight i guess i had a good 10 days prior to this yeah it's like i'm good with the owner but yeah usually i come with like larger groups like oh just three tonight yeah so so we walk in and then uh we walk through like the fucking lobby area i guess and then we go into the restaurant itself and nobody else is there it is just us and maybe two other people eating in the entire restaurant i mean what day was this like maybe it was just like off maybe you should or maybe it's a front for something.

It's a very nice place. It is a very nice place. Oh, it would be nice. Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it? Yeah. Anyways, and so we were having conversations, but the problem was I couldn't fucking hear. The problem with that is I not only cannot hear,

I also can't gauge my own volume well. Can't gauge his own volume level. In a near dead silent, very nice restaurant. And I can't remember what I fucking said to what. I said, Dimitri asked me something. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I remember that what I said

ended with, I was bored already. And then Mandy just whips his head around around looks me dead in the eyes and yells what about the bored identity i'm not sure it was that loud but yeah it was really fucking loud the problem i know you know it was loud because you told me you saw fear in my oh that's right your eyes started fucking bugging out oh my god well it got worse because like the owner saw me walk in and we're like oh we're with this our friend from out of town and so he has like his staff being super attentive yeah we have like four waiters oh my god problem was, like, one would come across the table and look at me and be like, and I'd stare at them, and I'd, like, nod, and then something would happen.

Like, I would get a refill I didn't want. Or, like, are you done, sir? Like, I'd just stare at them. Like, it was, are you done, sir? Yes. No, wait. It was, you finished, and they said, are you done, sir? Yes. No, it was, you finished. And they said, are you done, sir? And you said, oh, no, thank you.

They just walked away. And you were like, when am I going to take my plate? I thought, like, do you want a refill? I was like, oh, no, thanks. And they just walk away. It's kind of disappointing that those fish antibiotics didn't work. No, they did. Did they?

The thing is, the infection was gone, but just like when your middle ear fills up with fluid, it can take like weeks to fucking drain it. Okay, genuine question. How did you get to the point where you thought that the fish antibiotics were the way to go? It's the same as the antibiotics they subscribe to you. It's amoxicillin.

Are they? Yeah. It's the exact same thing. But prescribe to you. It's amoxicillin. Are they? Yeah. It's the exact same thing. But it's less expensive, I guess. Yeah, and the packaging also says for your beloved fish all over it. No, specifically beloved pet fish. It can help skin slash scales,

lungs slash gills. They're very overt about it, but they also deny everything. I'm just going to become like the fish man in that one movie. No, because I got it off a doomsday prepper website. They sell

knives and guns and they also sell fish medicine. They sell fish medicine. Mandy basically has a table in his apartment that's just all stuff that looks like it's from a doomsday prepper website. The table picture. I don't actually have a copy of the table picture. I have a copy of it't actually have a copy of the table picture.

I have a copy of it. I want a copy of the table picture. This just sounds like a prequel for Resident Evil 7. This is all I'm hearing. It does, doesn't it? Someone post the table picture, because I really want a copy of the table picture. I have it somewhere. We'll post it at some point, like at the end of the episode,

and then we'll link it in the description. I'm sure it'll be in the thumbnail. People should fucking see the table picture that's the first thing the way is that the table picture you sent me avery yeah the table where that's completely covered in jam and shotgun shells and yeah it's the first thing avery just told me like oh i i made it to uh i made it to mandy's place and then i made it to mandy's place and then i made it to mandy's place and then i was like i was like okay and he just sent me the picture i was like what the fuck is going on there's so much to this i said we're drinking now yeah and then and then try the sriracha it's like wow this is gross oh dude how was my sriracha dude it was disgusting it's

fucking nightmarish god it's like wow unfiltered apple juice at one point yeah when it's when it's completely you know watered down with apple juice and you can barely taste the sriracha it was okay disgusting how no you can i think you can taste the fucking sriracha vodka anytime just because of the fucking like i never took an actual good glance at this because I assume there's a lot of classified information inside this picture that I'm not even allowed to see. There's actually not, somehow. What the fuck? Does that bottle say CO2?

Yeah, it's a homemade CO2 canister. Post, I can't see it again. It's in general. Homemade CO2 canister. There's a lantern there for some reason. I'm not sure what that's for. That's not a lantern. There's a voucher for Budokai or Bud K. what that's for. That's not a lantern. There's a voucher for

Budokai or Bud K. Oh yeah, that's the Doomsday Prepper website where I got the fish medicine. This isn't the updated version with the fucking horse girl mug. There's a Bowie knife. Oh, and the get well balloon. That's not a Bowie knife. That's a magazine. Is that Marmalade?

That's on the magazine. Is that Marmalade? No, that's jam. No, that's the jam I sent out. Oh, and then there's the ShamWow, because of course. I didn't notice the sham. Why is there hydrogen peroxide on there? Why is there so much shit on the table? I like the shotgun shells. They really tie the room together.

Is that a bug zapper in the back? Yeah. Oh, it's a bug zapper. I thought it was a lantern. It's not a lantern. No. Yeah. Okay.

No, I got a new bug zapper. Is that the ShamWow from that other episode? He has ShamWow stashed around his entire apartment. What's the one pill bottle? I don't know what that is. That's the fish antibiotics. That's the fish amoxicillin. You can see a fish on it, kind of.

Someone spills something and Mandy reaches into a cushion and pulls out a ShamWow. Yeah. Dimitri spilled some alcohol or something. I had a drawer and I had one of the ShamWow drawers and i opened it and i'm like no problem you said you're mildew but there were three in that drawer how many fucking shamos do you have three in that area okay anyway so flash forward us getting smashed every night that week oh yeah yeah this is avery's favorite part for some reason. No, it's not my favorite part.

And that was like day four. Avery just likes alcohol. Was it day four? Yeah, I'm talking about specifically when we... It was day four. At a certain point, I lost track of what time was. And every morning, we would wake up trying to CSI, like figure out what happened the night before,

which we weren't completely convinced ever happened. I think we watched To Boldly Flee one and a half times. I think so. I think you... The only time I actually blacked out was watching Laser Team, but that's later. That's later in the timeline. That is not true.

Because you don't remember setting any of the traps. But that was... We're getting to that. We're getting ahead of ourselves. because you don't remember setting any of the traps but that was oh you're right well we're getting we're getting to that we're getting ahead of ourselves i don't remember what the first night blacking out was the first night we were like wow we're on such a good pace this is great yeah we were talking about like wow we're at such a good level we were at it for hours just wow i should say that this was my 11th night of heavy drinking. Yeah, because when we were in Colorado, like, every night.

Every night. Every night for you, because you were the only person that wasn't sick as shit. Yeah. Like, everybody at the fucking... I did get sick, I just am not a quitter. Dude, I've never been as sick as that in my life. Like, that fucking morning when I got up and I couldn't even speak like holy fuck Avery got sick a few times but I think that's also later

oh that is later also that was fucking we'll get into that yeah after first night I don't even remember first night was trap day or ringwraith day before I don't remember trap day was before I think it's the same day oh you're right yeah

you are right because traps traps was the morning after trap night yeah should we just skip to trap night yeah just explain what trap night was because I don't so Mandy when he gets really okay so on the third day when I

fourth day I don't remember I think it was the fourth day on the fourth morning I'm waking up I'm sitting in like on Mandy's couch and there's like a it's like a separated couch that's two chairs and there's cup holders and in the cup holder there's just a glass of water and I'm like oh thank god I feel like fucking garbage right now and so I grab the glass of water and I lift it to my lips and I take a big old sip and it's straight vodka. Oh, wait, no, it was a water bottle. You didn't want the water bottle. No, it wasn't.

I had a water bottle. It wasn't even a glass because Mandy had prepared. Mandy had thought about that. I wouldn't trust the glass the next morning. So I take a big old swig and it's straight vodka. And I swallow because I don't want to waste good vodka. Crystal? Yeah,

it was crystal head vodka. Nice. Yeah. So it went down easy, but it was still startling. And the further, and then I'm like, oh fucking gross.

Jesus Christ. And then I like stand up and I look at the spot in the couch where I usually sit and there's another water bottle there. And I'm like, ah, okay. So I walk over, I opened that water bottle, I take a swig, also straight vodka.

Just fucking blend vodka everywhere around the apartment. And then we reached, and then... I used to do that too at house parties, it's great. Yeah, and then I spent the, I spent the next hour walking around, like, opening every bottle of water, like opening every, everything that wasn't

sealed sniffing it and going there's some vodka in that you just put a vodka and then no we're i'm not even i'm not even at the worst part also knowing mandy i genuinely thought you were going to talk about how he set up bear traps around your room or something like no that's what i was thinking as well in my head i mean it, it wouldn't shock me, but no. But I fucking... And then after that hour, Mandy stumbles out of his bedroom and he's like, I don't remember not sleeping on the floor last night.

Because that happened a lot, was Mandy sleeping on the floor because of his back. He lied on the floor a lot. Yeah, just during the day. He stumbles out. He stumbles out and I tell him i was like do you remember setting traps for me last night you were like did that happen yeah i was like what because it usually gets myself yeah usually he sets the traps for himself but this time he had

a victim yeah yeah yeah no drunk mandy tries to keep sober me drunk yeah so that drunk mandy can take over it's like a jekyll and hyde situation so the fuck after we go through and he helped he starts helping me find all the vodka in everything and then after like 30 minutes we sit down and we start watching i forget what the fuck we started watching we probably started watching Roar again he's probably a nostalgia critic or Roar, I don't know but I remember the epiphany then after about 30 minutes of us

sitting down and watching shit and just talking he sits up like bolt upright and goes, have you had coffee this morning? and I said no, not yet and then he stands up, he walks over to the fucking Keurig in the kitchen opens the water container on it smells it and then pours it out

because he was trying to poison me with vodka coffee because every morning Avery would have some coffee so drunk me was like ha ha ha he'll go to make coffee he'll never expect it in the coffee even after he finds out about the water bottles i don't remember sending any of them yeah it would work because the water would probably fuck up the coffee maker. But yeah, we reached the point.

If you boil alcohol, doesn't it just like. It doesn't like. Who knows? I think I'm going to stop myself before I say something that makes no fucking sense. I might microwave like liquor later, but yeah, go on. But it's not the same as boiling. We fucking reached. Can you?

After. Okay. 30 minutes after we made that discovery we were both sitting and then we looked at each other and we were like I feel so fucking sick and or drunk and I don't know what's happening for context Mandy has a fucking

air filter in his apartment shut the fuck up you did not do that what are you trying to Shut the fuck up, you did not do that! We were up in drunk against our own will in the morning. What the fuck? That's fucking dangerous as shit. I'm not going to say that because I'm going to be honest. I'm kind of into that.

I don't want to try that at some point. Oh, my God. You guys are fucking insane. It doesn't get you that fucked. It just makes be awesome kind of into that I don't want to try that some point oh my god fucking say does he get you that fucked it just makes you feel kind of ill yeah and then it's like well I feel kind of you're just selling me on this oh yeah cuz that's why I became the ringwraith yeah so at this point we were like, well, we're already drunk. Now you're talking. You try to drink water, tasting vodka. I think I suspected the tap at one point.

Nothing in the entire fucking apartment was safe. I remember you sniffing an orange juice bottle or something. You went to get some juice and you were like, I don't know. I had to check. I didn't know if you made a really weak screwdriver that's right yeah the orange juice container and it was you were making fun of me for sniffing the orange juice when it was a giant screwdriver yeah screwdriver that ended up the screwdriver is vodka and orange juice oh i thought you're talking about like trying to lockpick something yeah i was like what the fuck are you talking

about i didn't know screwdriver was a drink well i i know what vodka orange juice is but i just called vodka orange juice the screwdriver got me later but it did because i forgot yeah after i warned you yeah oh we didn't talk about your carbonation Darth Vader chamber. When you're drunk, how do you even set up these traps? When I get drunk, I just can't get off my ass at all. Oh, no, no. That's definitely doable when you're drunk. No, what happens

is the last thing I remember is being on the floor and then I wake up later and I've done something. At some point, I got back up. You're asking the wrong person. Wait for Mandy to get fucking blasted and then ask him because that mandy might know yeah and so then we just ordered chinese we did order chinese again from a different place yeah yeah so we while we were ordering chinese it's just it's not that funny it was just such a fucking funny visual. It's that Dimitri comes back over and he brings snacks

and we go and buy more booze at some point. I don't remember when that happened. All I know is we bought it out of a warehouse. Yeah. Well, we went twice, didn't we, with you? We did go twice. Yeah, because the lady recognized us.

She's like, wow, you boys are back already. We were buying a lot of booze um and then i don't remember which day that was but dimitri's back and we're talking about ordering chinese food and mandy at one point i'm like hang on every i have to stop you i need context for who dimitri is dimitri's man is this like a bodyguard okay okay just picture a grizzly bear like an actual yeah that's what i was thinking it was like your bodyguard or something i don't know yeah and imagine a man why not imagine a man as tall as you but really fucking wide so me yeah sure yeah ladies so um no fucking dimitri is back over and he brought a bunch of snacks but we had to order chinese food for dinner and just at some point man i just hear mandy say i'm gonna order it online i don't want to fucking talk to anybody and I look over I look over at him and he's

bent over the armrest of the couch covered in a blanket looking like a ring I just start fucking crying laughing cause he didn't even realize I said why are you a fucking ringwraith and he just went fuck because he didn't even realize they said where are you fucking ringwraith

and he just went fuck it was a bad day such a great day no that was the next night when the big event was Avery going haha let's watch laser team and we each had a screwdriver and I just said, you know what, I'll destroy mine.

And then I looked at him expectantly like, are you going to finish yours? It was like 90% vodka. No, that wasn't what it was. You carbonated fucking Kraken. That's right. With one of those fucking

The Darth Vader machine. Okay, let's explain the Darth Vader machine. With one of those fucking... The Darth Vader machine. Okay, explain the Darth Vader machine. With like a soda stream? I have a... Yeah, I have like a soda stream, like a drink carbonator. But the thing is, we were like, we were just mixing stuff.

They were going, ha ha, let's carbonate it. I wasn't doing that. Don't say I was doing that. But the thing is, like, we started calling it the Star Wars machine because it made this really ominous fucking hiss when it was done and then the bottle would fog up and like strange clouds and emerge from the bottle strange so then like me and Demetrius saying Star Wars quotes is like I'm your father and then we pour it and drink it and something bad would happen every time.

How so? He poured a third. We bought really smooth vodka. Let's carbonate it. Yeah, that happened. Why would you do that? It was worse. Is carbonating it do anything to it?

Carbonating vodka makes it much harder to drink. That's what we learned. Does it make it stronger? No. Then what's the point. Does it make it stronger? Nope. No. Then what's the point? We just thought it was funny. Yeah, some of us thought it was funny.

I mean, we've found good mixes. Like, wow, if you carbonate some Kraken, put some vodka in it, then put some Baileys. Like, we were just... It was like a little chemistry set. That's not true. You carbonated the Kraken, poured it into a glass, then downed the entire thing,

poured me one, and looked at me like I was about to do the same. Wait, wait, wait. Did you say you carbonated fucking milk? No, Kraken. No, Kraken. Oh, I thought you carbonated fucking Baileys. I was like, you're a freak. Baileys has milk?

That's horrible. Well, it's a cream. We had rum chata at one point that Dimitri brought. Rum chata, yeah. We mixed it with tenpenny rum and it was delicious. Yeah, tenpen oh we had rum chata at one point that we did have rum chata yeah we mix it with ten penny rum and it was delicious yeah ten penny rum and rum chata mixed really well together that's just good yeah and then at some point we fucking stumbled our way back to the aslan play oh yeah that did happen oh you you went back to yeah it was it was the biggest trial of my back in probably two months and avery said that he could hear it popping the entire time we were driving. I didn't want to say anything.

I was just sitting in the back seat. Mandy and his girlfriend were in the front seats. I was like their kid they were taking to a play. And I just heard Mandy's back going. Jesus Christ. It was fucked. And then at some point, Mandy just looked over at his girlfriend and says, I think it's leaking.

She's fucking size. My back juice is leaking. Mandy, why don't you talk about the Azzlin play? We realize that they've 100% heard the last podcast and they might listen to this one without a doubt. What? Really?

100%? A hundred? I had a suspicion at first because they had the same pamphlet, but there were some alterations to it. Dr. Zaius was back, but his message wasn't quite as overt as last time. It had been toned down a little bit.

It wasn't learn the truth about AIDS. It was learn the truth about autism. Yeah, it was only autism this time. They removed a lot of stuff. Just autism. But when they started the prayer, like, all right, let us pray. Dear Heavenly Father. And we're like,

there's no Aslan. And they didn't talk about the school in trouble or anything they skipped all of that no they what but they they had like a slight little like i still want to talk about this because we did they have a stand for the pledge of allegiance yeah and then after the pledge of allegiance he said isn't it great that we can still do the Pledge of Allegiance in this country, right? Whoa! Oh my god, we got a few fans listening. Hell yeah. Yeah, but they didn't talk about the school and spiritual trouble.

And then, like, yeah. They were done absorbing the gays. I know that immediately after, like, two days after, you sent me a message mandy and it was just like it's already starting and it was just a fucking buckload of people reviewing the theater yeah fucking good google a bunch of listeners were leaving really funny reviews actually yeah i dude i knew some shit like that would happen i did too but i didn't think it'd be so funny because people are really they're still giving it really high scores. Just like, oh yeah,

but there's this one weird part, you know, where, where Aslan swallowed my gay son and I find him working at Chick-fil-A a week later. It was so fucking good. Yeah.

Yeah, but like they recast a few people, but the play was like going as normal, but they, they switched Aslan's reveal to being after the, um,

the intermission. Because before I was like, oh yeah, fucking terrifying Aslan's reveal to being after the intermission. Because before I was like, oh yeah, fucking terrifying Aslan comes out, like scares you to bring your kids to the snack bar. And they moved that scene completely. What? No way. Aslan is different. No way! They changed the puppet completely.

What? They carved a smile into his mouth. Yeah. No way. They carved a smile into his mouth. Yeah. No way. They carved a smile into its mouth. The rib cage is covered up now and it's like solid. They plugged up holes in its head. They removed like the leaf mane and it's just like bark. And yeah, and they got...

They totally heard the fucking podcast. Holy shit. And on its face, you have like a... It looks like they took a big X-Acto knife and they carved like a big friendly smile onto it it's smiling now and they had less cat puppeteers

they only had two instead of like the fucking team they only had two cat puppeteers I could see the cat I felt cheated you don't see the cat and when they had the donkey transformation scene instead of like the Cronenberg who's nuts because i'm in the last podcast is like haha it would be better if you just want you know like hee haw hee haw that's exactly what he did that's exactly what happened

that is exactly what oh they replaced that guy you didn't talk about that yeah yeah they recast that guy they recast that actor yeah they recast screaming donkey man now mandy got someone oh shit but yeah it wasn't once i didn't do it yeah it wasn't like they fixed one thing they fixed every single thing it was everything not even just in the play the fucking program was changed what they said before the play was changed the placement of intermission was changed they changed they re-recorded all of aslan's lines you didn't mention that they forgot about that yeah he sounded less threatening he was like more gentle what would he say like before he'd be like your doom is at the door but like he still he still

did that but it wasn't as like it was at the door. But like he still did that, but it wasn't as like. Your doom is at the door. It wasn't like that. It was more like gentle. It was the same guy, but he was like, he was being more like kind of gentle. He'd be like, I am Aslan and I am here. He wasn't like, I am Aslan. He wasn't fucking Batman.

Yeah, he wasn't Christian Bale Batman. Yeah. Like they changed all his lines around. And we were just walking out like what the fuck happened they there's no way they didn't listen to it yeah because they changed it wasn't like oh they changed one or two it was everything oh do you want to talk about every single point why specifically we think they changed it because of the announcement they made at the end of the play oh please did they just go like no that fucking logos theater is expanding and they're moving you're seeing our play fuck a new location and i think they're really worried about

being known as the weird cult theater yeah like oh we're getting a new we're getting a new location so we're here please you know if you enjoy the play please give a google review or yeah they they sent you an email they did yeah like three emails so please leave a review because they're all stuff like there was this part where aslam's limbs came to the audience and swallowed all the children fucking blood-borne boss aslan yeah and so then so we went to Creel. We went with Creel afterwards. We went to the Creel's bar. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, because Creel

just happened to live in the area. Yeah. I cannot believe that they fucking changed it after listening. That's fucking strange. So we were trying to figure out how they found it. It had to have been through the Google reviews somehow. Google reviews?

I don't know how. There were a lot of teenagers in the production. It was mostly teenagers. Yeah, that's what my girlfriend said. She's like, maybe they had some underage people who listened to the podcast. Yep. Specifically, maybe they have children who listen to your podcast. Hey, if you were in that production, it was super good.

Yeah. Good job, you. Everything about it was really good. It was like I said before. that production it was super good yeah wait good job everything about it was really good it was like i said before yeah it was really good they're just they're just these weird parts that happened yeah stick out it's just weird like moments of where you just fucking weird cryptid moments in the play it's not a big deal yeah and so after that we uh we hung with Creel. We had a great time. We met his family and his daughter. And then I nearly lost my insurance.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. What does his daughter do? Yeah. So Creel has a young daughter. And we were all just hanging out with his family in the living room. And she was bouncing all over the place. And I was like, look what I have it's

a insurance card did you just did you show her your insurance and she took it and she yeah she was mesmerized by it oh I was actually joking she was like she actually had to do with this yeah she did she almost went in the fire because she got really still and she was like

and she saw the card and she took it with both hands and then she looked at it and then she looked up at me she had like purpose in her eyes and she got up and started stumbling towards the fireplace and just chucked it into it immediately what? holy fuck what'd you do? the fire wasn't on

it wasn't lit it was okay it wasn't lit but like there was a TV in front of it, so Cruella's wife was like, oh fuck, we're so sorry, trying to move the TV out of the way. Avery's fucking laughing. My girlfriend's fucking laughing. I'm just laughing in the corner.

I'm just laughing in the corner. I'm not helping at all. God, that just gave me fucking flashbacks. I had a kid, the son of one of my godfathers or godmothers, he showed up at my fucking dad's place, and he kept fucking around my PS2 memory card, and I kept telling him to fuck off.

And then when he left, oh, surprise, surprise, I fucking lost my memory card, my fucking Gran Turismo 4 progress was on that shit. Continue. I don't care. It fucking sounds like this is important to you. If you need to talk about it, you need to talk about it. That's the story.

I lost all my GT4 progress because some fucking stupid kid I never saw again took my PS2 memory card from his room. I wonder what this fucking plastic box does. I don't even know his fucking name. Dumb cunt. Well, some godsend you are. I don't think his parents named him dumb cunt.

I'm going to be real. They might have, based on his personality I called him afterwards changed his name He took my PS2 card also gave him my PS2 memory card back I don't give a fuck about his name Is what I said to his parents Continue Mandy That's fair

It's like wow we had a great time with Creel There's just that one weird part where his daughter Tried to throw my insurance card in the fireplace Like wow his family's cool. And then we drove back and my spine popped the whole way. Oh, we didn't talk about the time when Dimitri was over and we all got really fucking drunk.

And then at some point... Yeah, okay, I know. Listen. It was like three... Which time? Okay, which time was this? This was the time when you and Dimitri started watching my No Man's Sky video. Oh, yeah. Actually, I didn't tell you this? This was the time when you and Dimitri started watching my No Man's Sky video. Oh, yeah. Actually, I didn't tell you this.

This is a podcast exclusive. I found a video on my phone, but you can't actually see you because you're covered by a blanket. Because we were watching... Avery was passed out underneath a blanket. We were watching his No Man's Sky review, but we were both like giving critiques.

They were talking to me the entire time. Yeah. Like you should be like, wow, that was such a good joke, Avery. And Avery was like snoring under a blanket. Oh, earlier in that same night, I don't have any memory of this, but I know that earlier in that same night.

Yeah. I went out, I went over and I grabbed a trash can and put it next to me for a bit and i was just having a conversation with dimitri leaned over the armrest vomited into the trash can leaned back over and continued my sentence oh no there was a part where um he was eating pizza and he went he's like yeah and he started throwing up the trash can they like wiped his mouth and we started fucking eating more pizza what the fuck man it was when you when you ordered that pizza you and dimitri get up to go stumble over to the door and get it oh no i forgot together like like you needed backup that's right and the guy asks, how y'all doing tonight?

And then Mandy just goes, pretty fucked, to be honest. And then Mandy gives him a $40 tip on accident. Oh my fucking god, Mandy. You made that guy's day. Well, I was like, I think it was like about $20 or so, but I had like cash, and I only carry 20s. And so I was like, uh, was like about 20 bucks or so but I had like cash and I only carry 20s

and so I was like uh this looks like enough he just gave him 60 dollars and then another night that was dominoes night and then

yeah oh no the exclusive is um there's a video on my phone of us of me and Demetri drunkly going show me on the tv show me on the TV, show me on the couch.

But you're just covered with a blanket and snoring. I have that on my phone. Because it's just like the little owl talking to the screen. We pan over and it's just like this snoring blanket mound. It's such an awful week. It's such an awful week. I had such a good time.

I remember like six hours of the entire time I was there. Because, oh yeah, Papa John's night was the really bad night. Papa John's night was the really bad night because you told me you were ordering pizza from some local place. Yeah. But then they turned out to be closed. So I went, what else is open?

And then you're eating it. You're like, wait, I was, I was, what made fun of you is that you open the Papa John's box and you're eating slices. Then later you're like,

wait, you like pull the lid down. Is this Papa John? Because I started feeling sick. That's when I realized. Wait, Papa John's is still around? I thought they closed down after the little bigot thing no the

the lore behind Papa John's pizza is that for some fucking reason I can't eat Papa John's pizza because every time I eat Papa John's I will vomit at some point it wasn't like we got something crazy. We got a cheese pizza.

It was like a nothing pizza. Mine was just like cheese, yeah. I had a barbecue chicken, I think. Shout out to barbecue chicken. I thought somebody was going to join the cheese brigade. Go on. Because Abe wasn't that drunk yet, he just kept the trash can

between his legs. He'd just throw up into it occasionally in the middle of conversation. We'd just keep talking. We wouldn't have thought anything of it. And then we watched Scorpion Thunderbolt one night. Oh my god! I have no idea what that is. The best fucking movie.

Dimitri fucking drank for the witch. Yeah, every time the witch appeared, Dimitri drank. Dimitri died. That movie is so fucking good, dude. Don't fucking drink time the witch appeared, Dimitri drank. Dimitri died. That movie is so fucking good, dude. Don't fucking drink for the witch. I'm going to drink for the witch. David, can you imagine? I'm going to drink for Chad.

I'm going to drink for the lizard. Yeah, he drank for Chad, the witch, and the lizard, David. And I need you to know that he wasn't drinking beer, David. He was drinking 45% rum. We didn't have any beer that whole week was that blood diamond no it's called scorpion thunderbolt okay it's a fucking it's an amazing b movie don't if you don't look up anything about it don't look up anything about it yeah don't look up any of the production you're gonna get it all right you can drink up it's you can drink up I'll drink for Chad scenes

Chad scenes are worth it fucking Avery casually vomiting reminds me of this one time me and my like really old honestly Avery always casually vomits every time I've seen you you always fucking casually vomit

and come back like fucking in Telluride when I was there. I vomited one time. Under the table. I'm just going to go like down. I'm going to go sit up. That's not vomiting. I know, I know.

But it's a hint. It's a hint of vomiting. This year you did vomit, I think. I vomited last year too. Once. It wasn't casual. I went to the toilet. Every time I see you, you just casually go like, oh't casual I went to the toilet I see you just casually

go like oh what do you mean casually I'm vomiting in the bathroom you can't see how I'm vomiting David this one's different he's actually vomiting mid-conversation yeah I'm vomiting in the middle of sentences and continuing them that's casually vomiting why can't you stop vomiting because he ordered fucking Bob and John's I don't think we straight? Because he ordered fucking Boba Johns! You just had some fucking chips and you vomited from those too. I did vomit from the chips, but that was mixed with unfiltered apple juice, sriracha vodka, and whatever the fuck else we were drinking that night.

That was a nightmare cocktail in my stomach. You guys drank sriracha vodka just for fun? I drank it. It was the Halligan. Why would you do vodka just for fun i drank it was the apple juice why would you do that we mixed it with unfiltered apple juice to mask it it didn't mask it that well i just threw up but wait i actually didn't i actually didn't vomit really that entire night i was just retching into the trash can because i was in pain oh i'm pretty sure there's some

clear vomit noises that are on Twitch somewhere maybe I don't ever think I actually got any real vomit out I just retched and spit out whatever was in my mouth I'm pretty sure there was like you'd hear liquid hitting a bag maybe I don't remember much of the stream all I remember is the poor woman

I want somebody to caption those vods and just at one point you see brackets liquid hitting bag sound but um yes speaking of casual vomiting i was in barcelona with a bunch of like old fucking friends i knew them since i was like six or seven years old uh and we all took a big boy strip to barcelona but one of them one of those assholes was like hey i'm gonna bring along a friend i met in college that nobody else knows and like the entire trip i was like ah i don't know about this guy and then on like the very last day i think i talked about this story we were supposed to go to a nightclub and then we

met a local and she was like oh which nightclub are you going to we went like we said the name of the club she went you guys know it's a gay night right and we all just looked at each other and went well we didn't but fuck it let's still go. Then we were in queue for the fucking club, and I was just like, we were all pretty hammered because we already pre-drank before the club because we were like, well, fuck, if we're going to a gay club, we might as well get really fucking blasted and see who ends up sucking

dick, right? Because that would be fucking funny. And then I was just talking to the guy at the back of the queue, and I'm just like, I'm saying shit, and he's saying shit back. And then he goes, oh, hold on a second second and then he just leaves like i was in a conversation i was like what a asshole and then he just goes to the most nearby tree throws up like four times comes back crosses his arms and goes continue and i'm just going this guy's alright! That's kind of sick.

That guy was sick. I wish I could vomit on fucking command. I can't vomit at all. The moment I start... What? I don't know. It's like... What?

That's bulimia. Bulimia? Isn't it? Isn't that the vomit on command? Bulimia is just when you force yourself to vomit to lose weight. That's not the same thing. Oh. I feel like you force yourself to vomit to lose weight that's not the same thing I feel like you guys can just vomit you can just vomit like that

but if I feel like shit I have to fucking I have to do everything I have to build up to it hence the retching oh so you do and it's like practice it's just opening up your fucking okay that's why i said i don't casually vomit unless i eat papa john's in which case i will absolutely casually

vomit if i know i'm gonna drink a lot a night i'll take i'll order a pizza i'll eat like a little bit of it and then i'll leave the rest of it out like out in the open like on like on sunlight so in the morning if i have vomit, I'll just eat a slice and I'm good. That's fucking disgusting. I thought you were going to say it's genius. I was about to agree with you. I didn't tell the story about my fucking layover

in DFW. Oh, with the hallucinations. Yeah, with the hallucinations. Is that after Mandy's place? This is before I landed and then I had to meet Nintendrew Mandy after all of this. So,

I had a one hour long layover in DFW at the airport. I don't know if anyone here has ever been to DFW airport. I've been there for 30 hours. DFW? 30 hours? Yeah, Dallas. Dallas-Fort Worth, right? Yeah. My plane was delayed for 20 hours. I had to stay there

for 33 hours. Holy shit. I'm so sorry. That's such a shit airport to get stuck in. That's the one where people thought I was I left a bomb near a bathroom and I almost got arrested. Did I talk about this? I don't think so. Oh, well. A story for another time.

It's really short. Oh, is it? Okay short i literally just oh is it okay okay it's i literally was just waiting for like i had like my entire like technology like fucking counter set up i had my laptop my phone both plugged into shit and i was just on on those for like a shit ton of time and then i just i was so close to the board that tells me when my plane is coming that i like leaned over and i couldn't barely see and i was like ah fuck it no one's gonna steal my laptop i'm just gonna get up and go look at the board right i'll just leave it behind i go for like two minutes i'm really

sleep deprived so i'm trying to find my flight it takes me a little bit longer than usual and then when i come back there are three police officers around my laptop and my luggage. And I go, hey, hey, what's wrong? Sir, is this yours? Yeah. You're not supposed to leave this stuff unattended. And because,

and then he was like, gonna explain why. And I just went, oh, I just went to check the board and he instantly put a hand up and went, do not interrupt me. What the fuck? You don't interrupt.

You don't interrupt playing cops. Yeah. And I just put both of them... I instinctively put both of my hands up. Because I was so fucking scared. Dude, that's the worst thing you could fucking do to raise your suspicion. Dude, I was fucking terrified.

These dudes had guns and they were looking at my fucking laptop. I don't even know if I was watching. Probably Ray William Johnson or something. I was terrified. Are you b around says fat damon good shit and then yeah they just told me like oh yeah don't leave stuff unattended people might think it's bombs and i went yes yes i understand then they left me alone nice i thought i thought i would get in i don't know if you remember but when i was in on this one hour layover i had not eaten anything all day okay and it was about lunchtime when i was there and you know how dfw is like segmented so there's like one restaurant

at every fucking like terminal basically i got lucky and mine mine was chick-fil-a mine was chilies oh do you remember when i texted you you remember when i remember when you texted me i'm gonna eat some chicken and waffles at an airport chilies wish me luck and you said it was chicken and waffles right chicken and waffles i was so fucking angry i know you got so mad so ed hang on i need to find these messages give me one i'm gonna go do that too i have them it's just no no no no no no i gotta find the messages with ed because those are very very important uh okay so i said about you at the med halfway through no ed you're a fucking you're We're doing dramatic reading of these messages. Fine, fine, I'm there.

About to eat chicken and waffles from the Chili's in the DFW airport. Fin of vomit on this last flight. What the actual fuck are you doing? Stop that. Right now. Nah. Avery, I am eating a delicious meal and that almost made me throw up. Please do not As a Belgian resident

This is extra offensive Nah Did you just type for that long And just send nah Took 10 years to send Okay So that was the interaction we had And then we continued having a normal conversation

While I ordered, waited for for and ate chicken and waffles so and then i get the hang on go ahead no it's just i said i mean i'm about to say this and then i wanted to continue the dramatic reading the dramatic reading's over at that point though no it's not no look up the word waffles and then pick like the second latest message which should be one from me hang on so i send i sent avery like a giant fucking paragraph about my girlfriend's current condition and then he says this is so much food. What the fuck? Well, in fairness to me, there's another message I sent first, but that's funnier.

I was so fucking mad. What the fuck is this? I said first, I'm glad she's doing alright then. That's really good to hear. Immediately followed up with, this is so much food, what the fuck? And then, Ed, are we continuing from there? Or is that it? Oh, no, no, there is a bit that I'm really angry. Okay, and then I said, said yeah it's chicken and waffles

you fucking idiot chicken and waffles is fucking great eat shit and i said i'm good it looks like you're already digging into it i mean this is from chili's so yeah i hate a third and i'm good why is it so much food so fuck off. Stop talking to me about it. So, Ed, I didn't give you any updates to what happened after I ate the third of the chicken and waffles that was given to me by Chili's. Go on. But I stopped eating, not because I was full. I stopped eating because I started to feel sick and hallucinate. I pieced that together.

My vision started to swim, and I felt like I was going to vomit so after sitting at the terminal being like I don't want to leave the terminal and go into the restroom because if I'm there for a while I might miss the flight and then I look and I'm like I have 20 minutes until they start boarding I should be okay so I stand up I grab my bag

I throw away the rest of the chicken and waffles and I stumble through the airport looking for the bathroom and I see a water fountain and I'm like ah water I could use that right now so I go and I start drinking from the water fountain and then a woman materializes

next to me and she starts she starts talking to no one about the separation of church and state what the fuck was this a hallucination i don't know i was in dallas so it could go either way so that's why i stopped drinking before i'm done because I've had enough of listening to her talk about the separation of church and state. And I stumble further. I find the fucking restroom. Luckily, there's a stall available.

I sit down. I start trying to shit because I feel like I really need to shit. Yeah, you can't shit in a bottle. It's got one of those automatic sensors for flushing and no matter how I'm sitting it will not stop flushing. So there's just... I'm just sitting

over a whirlpool. My asshole's at world's end. Nothing is coming out. Nothing is coming out. I'm there for 15 minutes i go i'm gonna miss boarding so i've accomplished nothing i've listened to the separation of church and state i stand up i pull up my pants shamefully walk out of the stall wash my hands with my wet ass because it was just splashing water at me the entire time and i was i got looks when i walked out of the stall because everyone was like why the fuck is this motherfucker

just flushing was he jerking it in there so i wash my hands which makes me look more like i was jerking it and i walk back out i start walking towards the terminal. I sit down because my group's not boarding yet. And then my vision starts to lose color. And I go, I need to go back to the restroom. So I stumble run back to the men's room. And I burst in

I walk in there's another stall open thank god I walk in I scream into the toilet and vomit just explodes out of my mouth and I am yelling I'm yelling into the toilet and my yells are being broken

up by chicken and waffles and then I stand up and I and my yells are being broken up by chicken and waffles. AHHHHH! I hate this! And then I stand up and I still feel like shit because I didn't get all of it out, but I go, I'm gonna miss my boarding group! So I walk back out of the bathroom, I wash my hands, I walk over to the terminal, I board the plane I vomit into one of the little bags

and then as I'm flying over to where Mandy lives I look out of the fucking window and I see an amusement park that has never been mentioned to me in my life the entire time I've been talking to Mandy about potentially moving

to the same area as him and i legitimately like i look into it and no one is in the entire park it is completely empty none of the rides are going and i legitimately think to myself that park isn't real and then i land and i'm greeted by fucking Nintendru, and a giant bear in the airport waiting for my bag. But honestly, I relate with you with that wiping after not shitting detail, because when I was in the Dominican Republic airport for 54 hours, I kept trying to shit

because the only thing I was drinking was fucking a protein bar. Future David, what do you drink? Mandy, you're not on Push to Talk. Oh, fuck, I forgot. What? God damn. Don't continue.

What's continue? Nothing continue? what continue nothing what the fuck happened to this episode it's just fucking I forgot I'm sorry oh my god I forgot I have to tell talk about your thing and then I have something really important to talk about

the only thing I had to eat it's because all the restaurants were inside the airport proper after you board. The only food eating thing you had at the airport entrance, like departures, was just a little grocery store. And I thought, the most filling thing I can buy

is protein bars. You told us this! No, but I need to give a detail that Avery mentioned. Which is, they kept making me want to shit. But the thing is, protein bars are really fucking small. So they're not going to, you know, give it mass. Yeah. Right.

So every time I went to the bathroom, I tried to shit and I get so close every time. But it was a fucking airport. So it always be some dad and his kid that walk in and you know how hard it is to shit while a father is teaching his kid in Spanish

how to shit in a public bathroom? I couldn't fucking focus because I kept hearing a guy going Andale, andale, mijo and I couldn't shit. I was laughing.

So it's like a fucking Twilight Zone episode. I just give up and go wash my hands and some fucking janitor would give me a look like, what were you doing in there? I wasn't jerking off. I can't jerk off when a kid's next to me. So I just

fucking left. Go on. Okay okay so i don't know how many people remember the second ever episode of this podcast when i told a story about an older gentleman who sat next to me on a plane pouring water on himself for the entire duration of a flight oh yeah that's episode one technically but it is yeah okay so for anyone well that's that's basically the cliff notes of it so yeah so he's all wet i have a friend who i don't think any of you have met but uh she started listening to the podcast somewhat recently. And she messaged me like a few months ago when she started listening. No, it was in a voice chat when I joined. And she was like, hey, Avery, I have a question. Was that guy who was pouring water on himself, was that flight San Diego to Houston?

And I said, yeah, it was. Why? What the fuck and then she said because one time i flew from san diego to houston and that same fucking guy sat next to me pouring water on his head the entire flight was it like crazy amounts of water there was a lot of water yeah it was the entire flight he was just getting refills of his plastic cups of water pouring them on his head and then asking the flight attendants for more water and then they would look at him and he would say i'm very thirsty and they can't deny him water. Like, legally.

So. He found the loophole. So. So, my friend. I immediately went, fuck off. No, you didn't. And then she leans back in her chair and she goes, Hey, roommate. Get over here.

And then I hear someone walk up. And that person's like, what do you want? And she says, you remember that story I told you a while back about that guy on the plane? The guy on the plane who was pouring water on himself the entire time? And she was like, yeah,

exactly. And I said, what did the guy look like? Because I don't remember, I don't think I said anything about what he looked like specifically in the fucking episode. And she went, he was Asian. He had short black hair and glasses and he wore like a button down. And I went, that's the fucking guy! Maybe he's super well known on that airline.

Holy shit. He's just always flying to San Diego. He's going between San Diego and Houston, pouring water on him. He's always getting wet. What is he getting wet? What is he getting wet? He just wants to get so fucking wet that he becomes like the creature of the

black. I'm all wet. Requiem. so fucking wet that he becomes like the creature of the black moon, but for people. That's it. Soggy bandit. I have fuck all else to talk about. I'm dying. That's your Patreon questions. Yeah, there it is.

If you're part of the $5 and above tiers, you can ask a question or a hypothetical for the Patreon Q&A. David, did you pick them this time or are we just going to pick random ones? Fuck no, we're picking random ones. Oh, boy.

We got a backlog now. Nate asks, Joe, after dating Nate for a year, you've prepared him for a lifetime with you. Your smile makes him happy, your laugh gives him hope, and you also drive him everywhere, which is a big plus in his eyes

This year has been life-changing and I think we are both ready for the next step So here's to many many more years with you my best friend and if it's alright with you my current fiance Will you marry me? Fucking G. That was a fucking long question. I'm not answering that nobody on the podcast is named Joe I don't... Is this from the right Patreon? Is this from fucking Joseph Anderson's Patreon? What the fuck?

Yeah. What the fuck? Wait, is this guy even a patron? You trying to get freebies on our podcast? If you're not a patron or humblebumble, get out! Fuck you, faggot. Hope it fails. Hope it fails. Hope it fails.

I hope he said yes or else we're really terrible. Oh yeah, we are really fucking terrible if he said no. Anyways, Gay Taco Underscore asks, Which weird habits do you have that most people don't? Avery eats ice. Weird fuck. You eat ice? It's not that weird. I eat the ice when I'm done drinking a glass of water.

It's not that weird. Thank you. Fuck you, Ed. Avery eats ice. I thought you just meant like Ron. No, I don't go and grab ice and just chomp on it. That would be weird. That would be weird.

Is that a feshy looking ass? That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. No, the meanest thing was meeting you for the first time ever, looking at you and going, wow, you're short. Because you're 6'4". You're 6'4", and we were standing at a fucking incline. I felt like such shit afterwards. He's such an asshole.

No, listen, I had not slept for 40 hours. I was just saying the first shit that came to my mind. I don't know what I said when I met your dad. I must have said the weirdest shit to him. Hi, dad. Probably. Good times.

Weirdest habits? Who asked this? Sorry. It's Gay Taco. Gay Taco. Good name. Did you put an emoji on that? Where is it? How far up is this? It's pretty high up. Which weird habits do you have

that most people don't? I have a habit where probably traps. Traps is a fucking weird habit to have. I used to do that too. I guess. To yourself too though? He sets traps for himself.

Usually it's primarily myself. Fuck no. Looking around. Weird shit. I set traps for myself too sometimes but they're fun traps. They're like when I get really high and I know I'm going to get the munchies, I hide the burger I just bought

under a sheet. David, what do you think a trap is? It's more like a gift. What do you think a trap is, David? It's more like a nice surprise for yourself. Okay, then it's a fucking munchie surprise. Do you walk downstairs Christmas morning and go, ah!

No, it's like a pleasant m then it's a pleasant, munchy surprise. I, like, buy a bunch of Big Macs or whatever the fuck when I'm high and then I hide one and when I find it, I'm so happy because I'm high and I want it. That's not a trap! That's a gift! It's a surprise! It's still a habit, though. It's a gift.

Is this one a habit? Every time I get drunk, I end up going to McDonald's and buying six regular hamburgers for a euro each that's specific sure why would you why would you buy no it's fucking amazing one it gives you like no listen one it's actually really filling when you're drunk and it tastes fucking amazing because when you're drunk you don't have any standards right and two you could just like get full and have too many burgers and obviously you had a good night out so you got like a chick around your arm that also wanted to

go to mcdonald's because they love mcdonald's so when you get out of the mcdonald's you get to give a couple hamburgers to a homeless man and then you look sick and then she yeah she has sex with you yeah this is the most fucking specific yeah this is elaborate. Yeah, this is such a specific and elaborate fucking habit. I remember you telling me about this one time when we were really drunk in the kitchen. Dude, it worked! Yeah, I'd say that counts. Yeah, that counts. What specific habit do I have? I don't know.

I don't really have any really weird habits, I don't think. Whatever. I have a habit of vomiting every time I eat Papa John's. I lived with Avery for five months. I can definitely think of a weird fucking habit. My face turns into an X

when I get angry. That's not a habit. I know. That's a trait. It's just something you bring up every time you mention that. Uh, fucking...

You guys keep answering. I'll have to think of something for Avery. Alright. Uh... For Avery. For Avery? Paris Marino asks, pro or anti-pineapple on pizza?

We already answered. We're waiting for Avery's. Oh, okay. Well then, fucking sorry. Pro or anti-pineapple on pizza? Pro, whatever. Who gives a shit? I don't give a shit. I guess. I don't like it that much myself. I wouldn't ask for it but I'd eat it

I won't take your eyes If the pizza's old enough I'll eat whatever We know I remember that story It's a fucked story That's coming from the trap guy too Yeah okay You guys wouldn't eat old pizza

I would absolutely eat old pizza It wasn't that old It It was just moldy. Depends where it's from. Alexander Monroe asks, do any of you besides David have pets? If so, what are they?

I had a pet turtle, then it died. I don't have pets no more. I do not have pets. I have banjo. What? What? You have 17 dogs? Not mine. Oh. No, they're not his yet. Right, okay. They're cunts. Those dogs are cunts.

Nah. Fuck you. Their barks have lisp. I have so many pictures. I go back and look in my phone gallery every once in a while of pictures of your dog just staring at me outside and I'm just pointing at it and laughing. Fuck.

Not my dog. Specifically during nights that had thunderstorms. You are cursed, Adam Allen Diver. Diver? One of those. I think it's Diver. Diver? You are cursed so that whenever you hear music of any kind, it is replaced in your mind with a

30 second loop of one specific song of your choice. This happens for the rest of your life. What is that song? Oh my god. That's really fucking hard. The Marvel vs. Capcom 2 character select theme. That's a good one fucking

i'm gonna hate it fucking hate that oh god but you're gonna i mean anything you're just gonna go ape shit and start beating people up every time you know it's so good it's like it already loops over and over like the song itself is already a loop so i don't mind oh that would make it worse i think nah good point just don't listen to music it would make it would hard loop at 30 second though so it would fuck up the loop i want to take it i want to take you for yeah no that'd be funny i'd like that it would be funny the first time okay are we all just gonna flame my choice or are you guys actually gonna answer your choice and have you like been here for any of the Patreon questions?

That's usually what happens. Just fucking say a song then, bitch. Let's see it. Find the fucking Dragontails theme song. Who fucking cares? Willamania, the opening theme of Will Rogers' Follies. Dragontails, Dragontails. Mine would be the chorus from Hey Ya slash The Way You Move by OutKast

where they go, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright. Yeah, that'd be it. Forever. Nice. Just punish myself. Kyle Ripper asks, what's your preferred pizza toppings? Old. I don't know, man.

Fucking cheese. On a serious answer, jalapenos. Chicken and waffles. That's not a pizza. I can make it a pizza. You can make anything a pizza, though. So why are you correcting me, bitch?

Why the fuck did I just think of a big circular waffle with chunks of chicken on it? I mean, that would be nice. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. That would be so nice. A waffle with chunks of chicken on it. Yeah?

Yeah, like fried chicken. It's just fucking fried chicken fries. It's like chicken waffles. I need all of you to stop talking. They don't have to be cooked together. Chicken and waffles is good, Ed. You're just a bitch. I don't want to make sweet and salty. Oh, my palate is too weak.

Shut up. You fucking... There are two Eds. Imagine mix sweet and salty. Oh, my palate is too weak. Shut up. You fucking... There are two Eds. Imagine thinking sweet and savory don't go together. Imagine being that fucking wrong. All right, coming from the hallucinations vomit guy after chicken and waffles. The fact that I can have that experience

with bad chicken and waffles and still say chicken and waffles is amazing should tell you how fucking good it is. Eat shit. Yeah, to tell you this is coming from the I eat ice guy. The guy that's fucking- It's not that fucking weird! We've established that so many times!

You keep on bringing it up like I'm a freak for it when no one but you thinks it's weird! Damn, the ice eating guy sure is defensive about eating ice. He goes- You've been bringing it up for a year, Ed! Just shove it. He doesn't shovel ice in his mouth. You weren't there, it. He doesn't shovel ice in his mouth. You weren't there, David.

He doesn't shovel ice in his mouth. I cannot believe that Avery would do that. I tip the fucking glass back and then I eat the ice with my mouth as it hits it. He brings a shovel. What? Ed.

David. This all sounds true. Thank you, Andy. I've never seen you eat fucking ice. David. This all sounds true. Thank you, Andy. I've never seen you eat fucking ice. You probably have and just didn't notice because it's not that fucking weird. Probably. Exactly.

If it was weird, I would have been like, oh shit, he's weird. I've definitely done it at a restaurant with you in Colorado. I guarantee you I've done it. Exactly. So he doesn't shovel ice. Wait, there was a time at the Chinese restaurant where everybody got the chopsticks and was like fishing ice.

Please tell me that's not real. It isn't. David, what are you doing? My ears weren't working but my eyes were. I'm fucking I believe things. I believe my friends because I'm trusting. You're an idiot. I trust. Do you believe that. You're an idiot. I trust.

Do you believe that? You're an asshole. Yeah. Thank you everyone for listening to this episode of the podcast. All right. We got to end it on a good one. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Ed, you're the one who keeps bringing it back to ice eating. You don't get to complain when we end on ice eating. Alex.

Alex asks, favorite pasta or Italian food. I know which one is Avery's. What? We don't keep going. We ended. We ended. We're ending on the alright, alright, alright. Yeah. Mine's pizza.

Wait, that's not pasta pasta you fucking pasta slash italian food oh yeah pizza's pretty good we're actually still going I think so howdy thanks so much for listening here's a special

thank you to all our top supporters on patreon such as alan diver buckshot papaya eric sc Gillies, Grant Shee, Jeff Smith, Spooky Ghost, Tyler Collins, and Unarmed Toaster. Thanks so much for the support, guys.