Please Stop Talking - FUTURE DAVID | Lost File

Episode Date: October 27, 2019

File recovery date: 10/15/2019, 01:44. Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Humble Bundle Monthly ▶ http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle ▶ https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Avery ▶ https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Mandy ▶ https://twitter.com/Lord_Mandalore Brendaniel ▶ https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Cameron ▶ https://twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Podcast also available on Spotify and iTunes! iTunes ▶ https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify ▶ https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Must be legal drinking age. Please Stop Talking is brought to you by Patreon. On January 28th, 2019, at 7 p.m. Easternpm EST, we scheduled Avery, Brendan, David, and Mandy to record episode 32 of Please Stop Talking. Unbeknownst to everyone, until after pressing record, Mandy had been awake for over 33 hours and was hitting the delusional state of sleep deprivation. After the recording failed miserably, we decided to keep the recording, but Mandy, in his sleep-depressed state, hid the saved audio somewhere on his computer where sober Mandy would never find it again. Until nine months later, the recordings were found. The following is a lost file. Future David. three, clap, two, one three, two, one

do another one I did it your thing didn't circle no, he didn't do the first one I did the second time yeah, I know, but I didn't see the green light it's fine, I'll figure it out we start clapping

I just stopped I just let it happen actually correct so i picked up a pen in my left hand i'll put that down i actually avery and brendan have you guys ever have i ever told you what brendan not brendan mandy always does during. He always starts talking to me mid recordings. Without doing push to talk? He doesn't do push to talk and he's just like, hey, future David. And then he starts to say like, say the randomest shit for like minutes on end while we're talking about different stuff. I should make a future David.

You should make a future david you should make a future david episode where it's just like hey future david uh don't put this in the actual episode i'm ordering pizza you've done you've done that like so many times i don't feel like i have you have i don't i don't feel like I have You have though That sounds like something you would absolutely do Mandy I can see excuses I don't doubt for a second that you've done that No it's not always pizza Of course it's not always pizza Is that what you're denying?

I thought that's what he meant I mean I have five chicken sandwiches on the way I could be apparently You're the mansion. Oh, bartender. The only thing he sugarcoats more than his food are his words. Do you think

lives in a mansion with a volleyball court in the foyer? I don't think sugarcoats his words, Mandy, because then he would have to eat them. Oh. He does does though. Oh fuck. He just denies it. That was f***ing s***.

He tweeted that the Jews should be exterminated. David! David don't use that. That was going away. I'm coming back for that clip later. You're just going to hear this. David will delete it. David knows. I would never. Don't worry.

David's not going to let audio be saying the Jews should be... What is happening? It's my clip. Do you want me to send you this clip? No. David, I have it. I have it. It's in my hand. Did you this clip? No, David, I have it. I have it.

It's in my hand. Did you stop recording? No, it's still recording. I'm pointing at it. What the fuck is happening? Hey, there's an ad read right here. What the fuck? Mandy, I'm seriously asking. Are you capable of recording a podcast episode?

Of course, yes. Are you? I am so alert.? Of course. Yes. Are you? I am so alert. David, you didn't talk to David. You were talking to Avery. What? Who's Avery? You just called Avery David. David.

You're David. Oh, my God. We know. Everyone but you is on the same page. No, I'm on page three. No, this is page four. I'm scrolling back up. That's page one.

Oh, my god. Tired Mandy is more drunk than drunk Mandy. Hey there, sad stuff. You want another drink? That's a hot Daniel line. I know. I'm gonna do a southern accent.

Well, you can do whatever you want. This is all the same character, by the way. When you turn the same this is this is all the same character by the way when you turn into the anchor it's also the same character oh okay it's it's the future david i'm here too they don't even know you might hear me i should probably turn my i need to turn that down i'm so smart do whatever you want you just have every job you have every single job hey there sad stuff you want another drink or are you still

nursing that one oh yeah just give me a rum and unbranded brown soda can you make that more neutral? Can you do that, but worse? Unbranded brown soda. Unbranded brown soda.

All right. Unbranded brown soda. If it's bad ADR, how would I do bad ADR? Unbranded brown soda. Make it sound like I'm in a different room you'll put me in the Sahara I could put I'll put you in the desert I'll just put whip sounds in the back

or just remove all background noise during that bit there's never background noise of the bar no I'm saying of the bar so the audio just goes silent Yeah Okay, that's good

Future David's gonna learn so much. It sounds like shit if you want That would be really good. That would be pretty good. Do that. Yeah. All right. I mean do it right now I'll text you tomorrow. Future David. Am I texting me? I've been up for... What's called a record of what? Thirty... Mandy. You ordered five chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A, right?

Apparently. I just tapped the search bar on my phone, and the first thing that popped up was Chick-fil-A. Avery, there's... I have not done anything Chick-fil-A. I have not done anything Chick-fil-A related. I have not done anything Chick-fil-A related in a very long time.

I usually just drive there whenever I want a chicken because it's not that far. Chick-fil-A is fucking great. It's really good, yeah. I don't know if it's five sandwiches good. I love their breeder sandwiches. Maybe two sandwiches if I'm very peckish.

I'll figure this out later. Yeah, because there's no built-in app for voice recording, apparently. Okay, it's fine. We'll figure it out. Okay. Who's eating corn chips? I'm sorry. I'm hungry.

I knew it. I like corn chips. Leave'm sorry. I'm hungry. I knew it. I like corn chips. I knew it. You fucking lips hard. Mandy, you ordered five chicken sandwiches. You can't be on anyone's case for corn chips. I don't know if I did. What the fuck?

Ghost sandwiches. Alright. Alright, Brendan. what the fuck ghost sandwiches alright Brendan what a mood killer what a mood killer less growly that was weird sorry god fuck alright let me

what a mood killer god damn it why do I get so fucking David Hader why am I channeling David Hader? Chicken sandwiches, huh? I put four shambles on my keyboard and I'm about to empty a water bottle over it. Will the absorber sheet prevent it? Or will it go through to the keyboard? Let's find out.

Please don't do this. Please don't do that. It's already happening. I might stop the recording. I might stop the recording. I might stop the recording. Mandy. Fuck, it's not through. Mandy.

Mandy. Please stop. Please stop. To be fair, the top side is a very big stain and the bottom is only a little stain. Oh my fucking God. Holy fucking shit. There's your mildew. Dude, this- holy fucking shit there's your mildew you're also peeking really hard getting this camera guy

please pull away from the microphone just slightly the microphone is three feet away from me david avery i don't i don't think we can record the episode let's record the ad read though let's record the ad no we can try we can try we can try worst case lost episode i i honestly think it's better this way yeah we'll be fine mandy will just be quiet and then every once in a while we'll do a jackass stunt. Something crazy just happens. It derails everything. Guys, I just jumped over my entire chair. I like that the only person that I was like I need Mandy to be here for this story

and Mandy's not. He's not here. He's not here at all. I'll be honest. I've been talking to future David sometimes too, but... Oh my fucking God. Talk to Future David during the ad reads, please.

Oh, sometimes I was talking, and I was like, you know, Future David, I'm so tired. I just started opening up to Future David. Oh my god. Oh. I'm sure future David will support you. Hey, Brandon, you were trying to do a line? Yeah. Chicken sandwiches, huh? Alright, what a... What a mood killer.

Mandy, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, Mandy. Mandy. This is the weirdest recording already. Like, I don't, I cannot even think of a weirder recording we've had. I can't think at all. It's so strange. Okay. Avery, Avery, this

just means you can channel the what the fuck was that more efficiently. This is method acting now. What the fuck? Mandy, I'm in the middle! Los! See, the big thing was on the top and the little one was the bottom of the keyboard.

That's how water diffusion works. Oh my god. Do you just have clothes lying around you? Those are my sweatpants. Those have been gone for a while, ever since the Hardee's Man. Fuck, I'll need to answer the door. I need those. Oh my god. If you can record naked? Not just in his underwear.

I can't believe you would talk to future David in your underwear. Opening up to future David in his underwear. Shit. No, I have a... Man, Colorado's gonna be wild. 40% of liquid absorbed. That's crazy. Mandy, 60% of the liquid on your keyboard is still a problem.

No, not that much got through. a little bit around the the middle keys do you know how percentages work not right now i don't where's my 60 is most of the water yes but most of it was caught in the center let Avery, what the fuck was that? What was all of that shit about video games? What a mood killer. What the fuck? Brandon. Yeah.

Yeah, that's my name. Thank you. What the fuck was that? What was all that shit about video games? What are you talking about? You've been keeping an eye on your drink i fucked that that would still work i didn't like it i didn't like it i didn't like it give me a sec okay the last thing mandy needs right now is screaming from his peers

i've been removing the future david don't worry about no i'm talking to real david don't what is never. What is this noise? He's using I know exactly what he's doing. He's using canned air. He's air dusting the water. Oh my god. First I dust the water then I'm going to dust Hardy's man.

Just do that into the mic. No, that was onto the keyboard. this is the mic what if we had it oh my god can we just have an episode where it's just this i feel like put mandy in a room i feel like we're about to yeah oh my god okay let's let's keep going. What are you talking about? You've been keeping an eye on that mic? What are you talking about? I thought we were just talking to that dude about how he could get Rise of the Tomb Raider a couple monthly.

No he wasn't. That was my friend. Where was that footage from? The Gay News only reports on things that happen in France and LA, so take your pick. I want to redo that line. Yeah, no, that's way... What am I talking about?

That was my fucking friend. Ah, fuck. I'm going to take a sip of coffee. I don't know why. There's a weird thing right now. I feel like I'm being invaded by a ghost. How do you know I'm talking to you? How the fuck do you know I'm talking to you? He's talking to me right now.

Oh, I am. He's talking to me the fuck out. How did you know? Oh my god. I don't like that you informed Mandy about... About future David. Because he apparently didn't know that he was doing that, and now it's gonna be constant. And he's not gonna be listening at all. It's okay, future David, he didn't mean it.

Wait, fuck the button! Oh my god. this is the fucking weirdest recording this is like a vortex of the mind i don't i can't think right now my sleep schedule's been obliterated between lowry lowry keeping me up and then i've probably have maybe five hours of sleep for the past four days. Holy fucking shit. Maybe. Mandy, you need to, after we record this episode, you need to pass the fuck out. Yeah.

I have to wait for the sandwiches, which are currently. The sandwiches will get here while we're recording. Being picked up. Let's make it a shorter episode, think like 45 minutes it's kind of long it's been like three hours oh it's been 16 minutes never mind oh my god brendan why did i say that so whiny all right no avery every you wanted to redo your line yeah yeah okay yeah no that's wait what the fuck am I talking about? That was my friend.

Where was that footage from? The Gay News only reports on things that happen in France and LA, so take your pick. Okay, cool. I'm gonna close my tab. All right, just give me one second. All right, sounds good. Hello? Mandy.

You need to leave. Mandy, stop talking to... Oh, no. They'll be looking for you now. Mandy's gonna have to record his lines another time, I think. Who are you? That's me. That's my line.

You saw the ad. You're a danger future, David. You need to leave right now. I'll explain later. The bad men might be listening. What? I can help you find your friend. Beat.

Don't slam the desk. You might stop the recording on accident. Oh my god. The line goes dead. We're just gonna have to record that bit another time, I think. Yeah. Can you guys record that line another time? Yeah.

Yes. Like, tomorrow, because I really need to... Yeah. Avery slides off the stool and turns to leave. I haven't... We haven't read the rest of the dialogue yet, Mandy. The bugs! The bugs? The bugs on his arms. the bugs the bugs the bugs on his arms

the bugs that Mandy has been scratching at this whole time he probably told Future David about them that's apparently my hair since my hair is getting quite long now I'm starting to resemble a Christ figure but I'll be the Old Testament Christ

when I get to Hardy's Man. Oh my freaking God. Leave in all his ramblings about Hardy's Man, because no one's going to understand what the fuck that means. Future David, you don't understand. But he talks about Hardy's Man. Stop clarifying to Future David who Hardy's Man is. I'll be back. We were just talking about other stuff.

Okay. I'm sorry. When future David got brought up, I'm starting to talk to him. But like, when you started talking to me, I apologized to him for having to talk to you. But he is now.

Wow. David's gonna be really interesting interesting i should just make a bonus episode where where i just answered past mandy as future david past mandy future david episode one a conversation in time oh my lord anyways mandy's gonna be a timeless entity in the fucking ad readReed universe now. Mandy and David warring from the beginning of time. Anyways, Ad-Reed... What did you say your name was again? I think that

line should be changed to, what do you think about sharks? What do you think about sharks? What do you think about sharks? How do you feel about sharks? How do you feel about sharks how do you feel about sharks how do you feel about sharks how do they make you feel when you see the fin on a shark when you see the teeth do you think about things things that make you go hmm things that make you go on and stop future david something strange i gotta tell you sharks i've never touched one in my life. I want to put a shark fin in my mouth and go... You ever want to pick your teeth clean with a shark fin?

No. What? Just end it there. Yes. How are we going to do this episode? I don't know. I feel like I'm actually like... I don't know how.

Let's just rip right into it. How is it going to happen? Okay, but how the fuck do we start? Welcome to Please... Let me get the piano. Get Cameron back in here. Can you guys hear that? Alright, Cameron.

We need you to play us in with the piano and say, Welcome to the podcast. And then you need to fuck off. Welcome back, no sleep gang member. Wait. Wait, oh shit. Also, Mandy is dying. I'm not dying.

Mandy is currently talking to Future David. No, I'm not. Wait, no, I'm not. I'm talking to you. I'm recording. Do you need me to clap sync? Yeah, we do need to clap sync. Ready?

Yeah. Three, two, one clap sync? Yeah, we do need to clap sync. Ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. Mandy definitely clapped there. I was a little slow. I didn't get the first one. Don't worry. It's fine.

You didn't get the first one last time either. Don't worry, you're sweaty. You're doing good. How'd you know I was sweating? I told you I was sweating. I told you, David you I was sweating. Mandy, I'm gonna be real with you. It would be way weirder if you weren't sweating right now. I'm like hunched

forward. I'm like seeing through my monitor. I'm just fucking sweating. Wow. Welcome to the podcast no cameron's only here to intro us and he's gonna fuck off right now catch you guys later my audio looks like legos every other tired guy not me oh my god goodbye cam all right everybody welcome to another episode of please stop talking the first episode of season three uh i'm your host as always uh my name is avery but you might know me better as shammy i'm joined today by uh the voice brin daniel sexy cameron yes it's me david hello what are you doing we are we have we have have current Mandy on this episode. Future David, no. Doing gremlin voices, David.

I don't know if I can take that right now. Okay, get together. Mandy. It wouldn't be safe. Mandy, stop talking to future David. We're actually doing the episode right now. Hey, everybody. Okay, can we quickly explain what future David is? Yes, I think we need yes i think we need to explain this real quick so

every time i'm editing the podcast and met or anything really any any recording that i've worked on that mandy has sent me he always just randomly starts talking to future David like all the time he's just like hey future David so I just ordered a chick-fil-a sandwich and just shit like that all the time I really hope that while you were explaining it Mandy was talking to future David so while you're doing your impression you can crossfade I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't talking to future Davidia David then. The fact that he just ordered five chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A on Postmates

right before we started recording and at some point he's going to need to get up and get them. What a fever dream. I don't think I ordered them. Yeah, Mandy? What? Mandy, seriously.

What? Oh my god. I didn't talk to him till after. I... I... I forgot to hit the button. Welcome to this episode where Mandy just... Mandy did not sleep.

Mandy has not slept for two days. Wow. It's 29 hours. I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since. I'm gonna check my calendar. Oh my god. Oh my god. Should we tell everyone about how while we were recording the ad read,

he started pouring water on his keyboard to see if it would go through the ShamWow? He did, and he just sent us a picture of the aftermath. Explaining to us how the circle that was bigger of water was the top and it was absorbing the water because it's German. Don't forget that he mentioned that it looks like loss. Thursday. Thursday.

I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since Thursday. Oh my god. He did tell us about... What is wrong with you? He did tell us about... What is wrong with you? He did tell us about loss. What? Who's... What did we lose?

Oh my god. We lost you. I feel like... Yeah, we definitely lost Mandy. I was... I wonder if Cameron's still recording. I wonder if we could get him back in here. I wonder if he's predicting current Mandy talking to future David and derailing the podcast to the point where we need

a fifth member. No, not David. Present Cameron hasn't slept as much either. Okay, we don't need to talk about time travel right now. Present Cameron is not in the same state as you are, Mandy. Present Cameron is also not present. He is absent.

Present Cameron also thought that New Year's was the day after christmas that's true is this a special kingdom hearts episode where we just keep talking about time travel holy shit what the fuck is kingdom hearts anyways i never understood i don't i don't understand it was like in middle school like you'd have people in like their zipper jeans they'd be like mickey help fight sora one of the poo is here it's like what the fuck as someone who is currently playing Kingdom Hearts 1

I don't know okay I've been playing most of the games and as someone who has played most of the games I don't know David I've heard that for nicktoons the the only the my first exposure really to kingdom hearts was when i was uh in that shop

class that i got kicked out of i was making a keyblade sorry future david and then they explained it to me and it didn't clear anything up. Yeah, it's hard. It's very hard to explain. It's like one of those things that you have to experience, I guess. They're here. I just love that the chicken is here. Should we take a break while he comes back?

I was going to talk about Square Enix's The Bouncer real quick. I was thinking about Light Yagami being in the chalk zone. Let's cross over to the chalk zone. Rudy's got the chalk, the chalk, the chalk, chalk zone. Rudy's got the chalk, the chalk, the chalk zone. What the fuck? The post-match demon is making me go outside like an animal

I'm gonna run like on a don't run on all fours Mandy I can't find my pits where did I put them they're right next to the ShamWow oh my god they're in the picture what do you mean which one how much ShamWow do you have he has four sham wows right next to him this was established

in the fucking eu if you were paying attention sorry it's there's just so much lore being dumped on worry it's oh my god what uh it's good it's good i'm really glad you know i've i've been waiting to tell this story until the next time i had mandy on at the same time i know this is a story that i want there's a lot of related lore in a way maybe not lore but related links to what what are you doing are you okay mandy's like a vortex of the mind i feel like wait i need to eat the chicken are being being stolen and they're like like being given to mandy and he's still this he's getting he's gonna give them back to me tomorrow to future david when i'm editing

he's gonna have a j Neutron brain blast. I'm gonna fucking brain blast while editing. Oh my God. The longer I know Mandy, the less I feel like I know Mandy. It does feel that way, doesn't it? I'm less convinced at this point that he actually exists

because you know why. I don't need to explain why everybody knows why still not back is he no he's not um dude I'm terrified of what he's going to do to that post mate guy I think... You guys seen Split? Yes. You know the fucking dog run? Yes. Oh, yes. That's what I was thinking as well.

I think Mandy's doing the dog run. That's what I was thinking as well. We're not... This isn't in the episode right now, right? I hope not. Yeah, I'm gonna... Holy crap. Are we switching to Cameroneron well no i was gonna

invite cameron so that we have at least four coherent people like to wrangle mandy oh my god i'm gonna we got a reclap sync oh my god i started recording yeah i know mandy is currently answering the door to get his five chicken sandwiches he ordered from chick-fil-A. He is not... He doesn't remember this. I was arguing about economics for Charles in fucking general chat, and I'm coming back for this. Are you currently recording? Because if you're not, why are you talking? Okay, good shit. Let's clap, Zink. Okay.

Is that all that's worth to you? One, two, three. One, two, three. Is that all I'm worth to you? A fucking waveform? Okay you can you not hang a waveform okay yeah so and you don't talk until mandy's back and then like two minutes later just start talking i want to see how he reacts to it i dude this is gonna be really hard to gauge how much time has passed oh boy is it because we spent about 30 minutes on minutes on the ad read and we are also going to have to go back and

re-record all of me and Mandy's lines together. I know. Holy crap. It's a mess, but it's funny, so. To be fair, I'm just reveling in all of this. I know. You're a nightmare person. This is like juice to me.

This is home. Yumbie, yumbie juice. Oh, pineapple juice. My favorite. like this is like juice this is home brendan's home yeah yeah i'm home juice oh pineapple juice my favorite david how did you know mostly just excited that the podcast has finally caught up oh my god um i don't think mandy's gonna be able to talk about expanded universe i don't think mandy's gonna be able to talk about expanded universe I don't think Mandy's gonna be able to talk I think we I think this might be a lost file already did did I ever talk about the Berenstain Bears story on the podcast you did not I have I I I'm gonna I have a quick random encounter that happened also it's Berenstain Bears it is Berenstain Berenstain Bears okay

I have a Berenstain Bears story and I can't remember if I told it on the podcast or not. You have not. Okay. You have not. I think I'm going to... I have a quick little random encounter that I can go through. Good. Hey, Cameron.

Yeah. Cameron. You remember when I said I have a flask of emergency schnapps? No. No right now. I feel like it calls for it. I feel like I don't want to edit this tomorrow.

Yeah, probably not. It smells good, though. It's peppermint schnapps. Oh, peppermint schnapps are fucking... It's fucking 50% and it tastes like it's 20. I mean, I think it's because of the mint.

Usually mint enhances the flavor of alcohol. It tastes like it's substantially lower alcohol content. Oh, lower? Yeah. I thought you said more. A napkin with four fucking... That's a sham law. Yeah, we brought in an expert.

We brought in a wrangler. At that point, we realized that Mandy had stopped recording when he went to get his five chicken sandwiches. Some time passed. Some time. What? Mandy? sometime what mandy you stopped recording when you went to go get the chicken oh my god mandy start recording again we're gonna clap sync again. Can you save... No, please save that audio file first, please. The one you're... You're gonna have to make a new audio file.

I know, but please save the one you currently have for the ad read. I'm telling Mandy that he needs to save it. I'm agreeing with you. David. Okay. What? This is all in one audio file, by the way. Good luck. Oh, my fucking God. I'm gonna cry. this is all in one audio file by the way good luck

oh my fucking god I'm gonna cry I hate living welcome back David you enjoy your hiatus maybe he's too busy tying up the postmates guy I'm here

how is the chicken oh um I wanna talk about it I'm here. Welcome back. How is the chicken? Oh, um... I want to talk about it. Oh, no. Are you recording, by the way, Mandy? I can't wait to know your opinions on the chicken tomorrow. Mandy, don't record over the things you already recorded, please.

Make a new audio file. Well, they're doing this crossfade sicko mode right now but i'm sure that's more of the system what are you doing mandy send a screenshot running no send a screenshot of what's happening on your screen really quick oh i know what the problem is well not a problem it's the fact that you stopped recording that's the problem no this isn't are you recording another layer underneath the recording you already did you know when um in that Batman movie when he's like

this isn't a car and it turns into a plan it turns into like a plane okay imagine that plane is Sony Vegas instead of Audacity. Oh my god. I can still export the audio. I can still export the audio from here. This is just fine. How did you mix them up? They look so different. Dave was like, Avery's like, start recording.

I'm like, all right. And I made the audio track and I armed it. Welcome to Please Stop Talking, the extra stop edition. How do you? I think, I think. Because this is a fun clusterfuck, but I don't think that we can make an episode right now. This is not. Yeah, this is impossible.

This is, this is going to be a lost file. I can already tell. And I don't want to tell my story when Mandy's going to be talking to fucking Future David the entire time. I haven't talked to Future David for like an hour. We can't record right now, though. Why?

I don't know. Do we do a lost file? I mean... Are you ever going to start that? I mean, that's the thing. Because I don't have anything else to put as the first season 3 episode we could do it tomorrow

Mandy you need to sleep I think Mandy I'm not playing around right now I'm worried about your health you need to sleep okay let's stop let's stop everybody just stop I'm sure you've slept less than this before

But you also you also wound up this way. So I feel like that just proves my point if anything Okay tomorrow we'll record again because this is Like it's gonna be way too much of a mess. I had fun. Wait, I started recording again for no reason