Please Stop Talking - Garden Hoes (feat. Kwite & Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: October 6, 2024

Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE for seven days! ▶ https://Fitbod.me/PST Who out here booshin' on Haze mints? Check out our merch! ▶ https://pleasestopshopping.com/ Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links:  @SirMeowLive  ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic  @BrendanielReads  ▶ https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Cameron ▶ https://twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep  @Kwiteee  ▶ https://twitter.com/Kwite Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Art ▶ https://twitter.com/Boo_Rad13y Video Template ▶ https://twitter.com/HangingRabbit Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments, it's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks and free fast streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation

includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Howdy! PSD and its shows are mostly supported by you And actually enjoy economy. in return. All of that stuff helps like you wouldn't believe. Thanks so much for everything, yeah. I feel like that's like a biological risk. Are you going to keep any just boxed up forever? Yeah, absolutely.

I just also... Are they 10 years old? Yeah, they're about 10 years old. They're hazements. Is there any mint flavor left on them? No, but you can definitely get... It's just caffeine and sugar. Ooh.

It's ca... There's caffeine in them? It's caffeinated mints. Well, because this came out... The hazements came... Call it nectar, please. The nectar mints came out during a out uh the hazemints came call it nectar please the nectar the nectar the nectar mints came out during a time where they were putting caffeine in everything

where you go to like thinking.com buy like a bar of caffeinated gamer soap caffeinated hand sanitizer okay everything is caffeine in it yeah and then they replaced that with cbd is think geek still a thing not really gamestop kind of bought them and then gutted them oh yeah that makes sense i used to go on there and just be like damn i i want to buy this shit so bad bro i can't wait to buy the head crab plushie like pull all the plushing stuffing out of it wearing my head suffocate myself with it i would look at the fucking the fucking awesome geek memes like arrow to the knee and i would clap my little fucking hand nowadays somebody's geeking on the galaxy gas but back in my day i used to be geeking on diet soda and a little bit of gaming geeking on the galaxy gas i got in my loot crate six six mountain dews in one night

back in the day everything was caffeinated then everything was cbd now everything is fucking now everything is whippets i can't believe it now everything is i can't go anywhere my fucking shampoo is whippets in it my shampoo is co2 i can't believe it dude it's like those everything is cake videos but every time i turn around there's some like 18 year old kid wearing like jujitsu kaisen merch hitting the fucking panela cupcake galaxy gas container going bro domain expansion what what are the what are the next microplastics what are the next the next microplastics yeah like it went asbestos lead then microplastics what's next bro i'm talking to the prince of all cosmos getting him up in my

balls he's rolling up all the microplastics into macroplastics i want a new passive poison i'm sick of all this old shit man i don't want't want passive poison. I want aggressive poison, and I want it now. Well, I want one that's ever-present all the time, and will show its effects roughly three decades from now. I want witches in the street with cauldrons making dubious concoctions, throwing people into the poison pits. We are not the same.

Tis the season. Tis the season. It's the October. Tis the season to toil, toil, trouble, boil. I don't remember. You don't remember you don't remember toil fuck you fuck me i don't remember it was it holy shit boil trouble boil boil toilet trouble boil boil make that ass shake make it bubble oh yeah is there a witch's gotcha game what the fuck man everybody's horny for fucking witches all the time dude october is

like peak be horny for witches season though i know i'm not talking about sexy witches so i'm talking like puss covered bitches i know but whenever you get hag maxing hoes don't call them hag maxing hag maxing hoes dude one of like the funniest things to me is that hag-maxing in the internet context is like being 30. Yeah, I'm literally hag-maxing right now at 31, I know. All these fucking fossils. Bro, I love

the karmic state of 20s to 30s because the karmic state is this too shall pass for you. It's like my theory that if you make fun of people for being bald, it's more likely that you will be bald. my theory that if you make fun of people for being bald it's more likely that you will be bald that's why i never make fun of anybody ever that's why i make fun of people who are bald but only because i know i will be bald yeah you've basically you've already been like inoculated you've got nothing left to lose like it's already happening do you

reckon the karmic retribution comes in losing facial hair on other places like maybe you well yeah facial hair chest hair let me tell you getting into my 30s one of the absolute worst things is the weird little black hairs that will sprout all over your fucking body that's what i was gonna say though i feel like i feel like it as you grow older as as a as a male you're gonna you're gonna see hairs where you never knew you had them bro you're gonna be slapping there on your butt crack and screaming is what's gonna happen oh bro i'm hoping that being Asian at all will help counteract that, but I know it's not gonna work all

the way through. It's not gonna work miracles, brother. I know, I know. You can't hide behind your race forever. I mean... Yeah, stop using being Asian as a shield, you fuck. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, I wanted to go back to being a target. That was a lot more fun. I will say fucking another... Moisturize your goddamn face. I'm gonna... No, so real, so real. Moisturize your face and wash your face every fucking day, dude. Because especially if you're like...

I mean, in the morning, man, that's like the best time to do it it wakes you up like you wouldn't believe and then you gotta you gotta do it i just started doing it and already the dark spots under my eyes are disappearing and i know they were bad because two streams ago somebody asked me if i was wearing eyeliner because the dark circles under my eyes were that bad that's eyeliner maxing though that's beetlejuice maxing i'm being everything fucking maxing now is this wherever we've come to everything fucking maxing now? Is this where we've come to? Everything is maxing. Everything is yapping. This is literally the proto-archetypal talk to a podcast episode. Oh, bro.

Oh, brother. You thought you were listening to Please Stop Talking. Psych. You're listening to the talk to. Yeah, you are. You are listening to the protoplasmal. The protoplasmal. The protoplasmal. Please start yapping.

Please start yapping. Welcome to the podcast. Speaking of hags, dude. Yeah, it's my mom's birthday today. Thanks. Thanks. You really wanted to yap? I was not even in a billion years was I going to say that.

We're all thinking it. What the fuck good lord I love his mom his mom is a great woman I really love her mom all I'm saying my mom is single she is not looking to mingle

she's not looking to mingle but is she looking to have another gay son it'll happen Brendan she adopts so many people that's why she's just add another one put another one in there throw another one into the mix not in there just throw another one in there bro i'm sorry but from the womb to the tomb speaking of hags and tombs i've been gardening lately i i feel like i i've talked to you guys about it but i don't think i talk about it on the podcast ever

i have like bell peppers fuck yeah i do man i have a beautiful lot in the local garden and it's like a giant it is giant billy yes i i feel like you've been like transformed into like a fanfic written version of the first part time i met you what what does that mean you were you were you were written like a fan and version of a canon character it's great what the ao3 god damn shit are you for site no seriously about like what is that what are you no you have to explain if you were a character in a show character yeah like the way that fans would write your character is who you are now compared to when i first met you it's beautiful gay husband podcast darling bro this is just like that fucking fan fiction i read about alucard's podcast you're right actually

either way all that to say i have a beautiful lot in a huge garden i've never been somebody who talks to their neighbors i just don't think it's i don't know how if it's just a i feel like it's an american thing to hang out with your neighbors a bunch like no no i think i think it's if you work from home you are a lot less likely to have random like interactions with them through your commute i guess so i've been loving thy neighbor at my local garden recently and uh these older women are so fucking mean it's insane they're all 70 year olds and they're like the nicest people to your face but when they turn around they're like this pill popping bitch all right granny uh recently we had to clear up our garden because you know it's end of the season we had our beautiful hall we had our tomatoes we had our garlic we had our bell peppers we had everything and while i was

getting while i was getting stuff off were you jerking the plants that's basically what pollination is so yeah i was cleaning up our fucking garden get your mind out of the mess where you got it up that's crazy yeah geez what are you doing there doing there? I noticed that one of my neighbors had these tomato cages that were not rusted like the ones I'm using. So I was like, oh shit, I'll go. He seems old and dying. I will go ask him if I can have them.

You laugh, but I swear to God, every fucking year when we go to the garden, our neighbor next to us, she's like this fucking hilarious old woman. neighbor next to us, she's this fucking hilarious old woman. She comes to us and she lists everybody that died at the garden this year. And as she's saying who died, she's like, her son was gay and she sucked. And she just lists the people that died and starts talking shit about them.

And then at the end, she's like, it's a great loss. It's a big loss. Big loss to the community the community i saw those beautiful cages i wanted them i go to him he's like this super old man probably like 65 70 i just start talking to him and i'm like oh could i have your tomato cages and he's like oh yeah and then we you know we just start talking and he starts berating my garden because it's not uh efficient enough wait efficient enough what the fuck was wrong what does he mean efficient irrigation i don't know like they all they all have something to say about if you are not running your home garden like a subsistence farm then you are a failure literally how they talk about it like they'll be like your fucking tomatoes aren't efficient enough you need to use more uh

fucking bone marrow and you need to powder the bone marrow in there or whatever and they're like well you played minecraft to be fair you should have known that and we're just talking about tomatoes we're just talking about stuff eventually he just goes hold on a minute and i just looked down he he has a shovel in his hand i looked down there's a little marmot there's a little marmot digging around his garden grabs the shovel puts it under the marmot under the fucking dirt throws the dirt in the fucking air with the marmot in the air the marmot is like doing fucking spins and he just he devil may cries fucking combos that thing on the ground and smashes the marmot on the he fucking air juggled it i i gotta look up what a marmot looks like so i there is a little rodent

he just fucking threw it in the air and just smashed it down and it just goes and after that he just keeps talking to me about this fucking garden like he didn't just devil may cry murder that thing that's crazy i i heard like a thing where like getting hurt as a wild animal is just raw as fuck because ain't no one helping you just gotta get the fact like the fuck back up he wasn't hurt he was fucking dead yeah these things are fucking tiny you get hit with a shovel it's over like your whole fucking shit's rocked just splatted on the floor and then he kept talking to me about like how my dad should have taught me better about how to take care of fucking green beans dude he probably he probably makes his own bit bone meal by the sounds of it like jesus christ it's possible this is normal dealing with pest behavior

i mean it's no i i it's not like i i haven't seen this before like it's pretty normal that they sometimes just murder an animal in front of you like it's nothing it it flew into the air man like he fucking threw that thing in the air so high up and then just smashed it down with so much weight and it was this frail old man every every year my great grandpa would make it a competition where we'd like we'd go over to his house and we'd kill garter snakes in his backyard. He'd give us all implements and tools and score us on how many snakes we killed. I don't know if I talked about that. I think I feel like

I talked about this on the podcast. Are you serious? Yeah. No, it's like a thing. He had a scoreboard for all the grandkids and all the great-grandkids where like... Alright, what was the scoring matrix? Just kill the snake, you get a point. But what if I killed a bigger snake? Doesn't matter. You kill the snake, you get a point what the well that's bullshit not nearly as fleshed out a system as parkour civilization not even close go down there we'd get gardening implements

we just start cutting snakes in half like there were a ton you get a bunch of yeah like a hoe a shovel nice um like a spade what's your tier list for like most effective probably a hoe because you could just snap it down yeah how often would you do that uh i think we went up to well because my my family's younger so like my grandma still had a good relationship with her dad and we like to go there whenever i was with my grandparents the last day we'd always like take a day drive up there and then drive back and i go back to my mom's or my dad's depending on who i was living with um so i go there like once every week every couple of weeks do gardener snakes eat like plants i don't know i don't know if it was like a full pest thing or if he just liked to kill him like i

don't well he didn't like to kill him he liked you guys killing them yeah he didn't have to do it he just drank a beer and watched like the grandkids and the great grandkids running around killing snakes that's some squid games imagineer shit do you think he buys the snakes so god i gotta get them used to killing shit we we called the population too fast i gotta artificially reintroduce them the fucking the pitch off i want to be like man you really like these snakes actually no i don't i fucking hate them what what the fuck is parkour civilization quite you know uh parkour civilization is this uh two hour long full feature length video made in minecraft and it has one of the most rock solid like magic systems i've ever seen in the world with some fucking brandon sanderson fiction it's really weird to me because it came out last year and i i

just kept hearing people talking about it and now when i look when i looked it up like a few days ago i was i just realized like oh shit it felt like a shadow of israfel but like peak the peak time the zenith of that like it's so weird it is built off of like actual minecraft parkour mechanics and it's like written in a lot of ways like a shonen but like a good one where like the power creep doesn't get fucking ridiculous the spectacle goes up but it's always built like on the foundations it's laid out and like it gets like really mechanically deep and subversive it's fucking annoying how compelling it is isn't like doing parkour a currency or some shit yes yes parkour is currency in parkour civilization the harder the parkour move you do the more worth uh something is

like also there's you can get parkour delivery to your house so you can get like parkour routes built in your house to practice and you have to pay the parkour delivery man in parkour but you're expected to tip all the u.s service industry this shit is unbelievable man it's actually kind of it's kind of cool i i sat there last night in in like four hours straight i watched the first one in the sequel then i watched like the behind the scenes notes by the guy who made it then i watched like the history of like the civilization simulations and how that plays into fucking like the behind the scenes notes by the guy who made it then i watched like the history of like the civilization simulations and how that plays into fucking like the modern version of the civilization and basically like it's like someone on twitter called it a meritocracy past its prime and as a reason it's like oh my god it has grown stagnant and the illusion of being able to

progress is maintained to like keep the facade alive where only the man at the top is the truly free one it's a critique of capitalism that's amazing ironically yes yes it is crazy it is a critique of capitalism how's this got it's got 25 million views as well holy shit it like dissects you know how like titanfall 2 like has a gimmick every level yes and then it just like fucking like stretches it like till it's like a gaping asshole and you've learned everything there is to learn about it by the end of a level like the concept of parkour as the baseline value for civilization the ultimate currency is explored in every fucking tangible way you can in this series across like the two different things.

It's nuts. Why has it gotten so because like I've seen this everywhere and this thing's been out for like a year. Why is it like coming back now? It was always popular numbers wise and then Twitter kind of got a hold of it just because of like the beef and chicken in joke. And then when you actually look at it, the fact that it's like even if you think it's corny there's like substantive like so there's some it has something to say is it is like insane yeah especially because it's in this format yeah i'm i like i was like scrolling through the fucking video and it's all first person like so just first person fucking minecraft parkour gameplay that's amazing i i'll probably watch it

because it's so strange and it's it seems very cozy i didn't i didn't talk about my canada trip at all i just realized oh go for it i had a fucking shitty airport experience and and i hate texas now oh yeah didn't you get like locked down no oh yeah i went to so on the way over to billy's wedding i i had a layover in houston well it wasn't supposed to be a layover. It was supposed to be like a transit from there to Chicago. Yeah. Where I was going to go meet up with another friend.

When I fucking landed in Houston, it was like in the middle of like one of the fucking worst storms that they've had, I think. Lightning and shit going everywhere and it was fucking up stuff. So my flights just were getting perpetually delayed but they wouldn't just cancel the flight outright they would go oh your flight's now from a different gate and it's gonna be in an hour's time and i was like oh fuck so you know you'd get up and if anyone's gone to been to the houston airport before they'll know it's a fucking liminal space i like i is it the is that the one that's like the george bush yeah george bush yeah george bush uh international airport george is it

george w bush international airport or is it just george bush god knows they're all the same except for jeb he's special yeah jeb is special that fucking airport sucks it's laid out like everywhere you go in the airport looks the same there are no indicators that you've like you're in a different space other than like if it says terminal a b c d e on the side of the wall somewhere but they all are like designed the same have like fucking. Like, the lighting is just awful. So it really is like you're playing a randomly generated liminal space game made in Unity. Yes, literally like that. Like, even down to the fucking textures being shit

because it's all just fucking concrete. The textures being shit. Trying to go to the food court, I literally fell through the world. Who fucking made this game? I keep fucking ragdolling on the escalator. Please, somebody call somebody. Some more steam shovelware, cramp.

So I'm, like, running between terminals, because I'm like, oh, fuck. Because there's no gauge on how long it's going to take to get anywhere or how far away places are. It'll just be like, oh, go this way to this terminal, or go this way to get to this gate. And I'm like, what the fuck? So, like, I get up and, like, run over, and then it's like oh actually it was like you know only five minutes

or sometimes it'll be like 20 minutes away i'm like oh my god as soon as you get there you sit down for half an hour to an hour and just as you think you're about to start boarding they go okay your flight's delayed again by another hour and it's also at another terminal again and they did it about like five times like i i think i arrived five is ridiculous i arrived at like midday i think it was like 9 p.m before they finally called it and they're like all right we're just canceling all of the flight we're not you guys aren't leaving i can't believe your airport made you do live service daily quests and then shut down the server yes they did and i then i had to fucking call like customer support to get a fucking shitty

hotel room for the fucking for the night over and meanwhile i'm like jet lagged as as shit i had done the smart well i thought it was smart at the time i was like all right i'm not gonna sleep on my first leg of the flight because i'll get to chicago around 11 p.m and like i'll be tired but i'll go to bed and then my sleep schedule will be like on a good track for like being in a different country so I I was like oh yeah I'll just like take the L the first night and get there at this time and just like sleep as soon as I get there but little I know fucking now I'm like on no sleep for fucking 24 hours in Houston airport wanting to kill myself so they give me the they

like hand out these little business cards essentially with like a helpline to call and like so i rescheduled the next day and all the time i'm messaging um charlie who's who i was going to go visit in chicago not to give away his assassination coordinate but i'm messaging him like complaining and then so the hotel they put me up in and i don't know anything about like american hotel chains or anything is a super eight oh my god hotel or motel eight i don't know one of the one of the two that's pretty fucking bad no super isn't super eight the jj abrams movie super eight's the jj abrams movie but i don't know motel eight is super eight is the one the one you're Talking about it's dog shit So yeah all the time I'm like communicating

With Charlie being like oh like This is what's happening sorry to fuck you around Like you're not gonna pick me up this time And so I was like telling him I went on the phone I had to wait like ages for this customer support Cause I'm pretty sure every single person From my flight was calling them I don't know what it was So I messaged Charlie I'm like oh they're putting me up

In a Super 8 uh like is that any good and he goes oh it's nothing fancy but you'll be fine over the night you're really being nice man super eight is dog shit i like get out of the fucking the the i had to like figure out how to fucking leave the airport which was a goddamn challenge because there's no fucking sign that just says exit this way it's just like fire exit and stuff like that i had to talk to this lady i was also getting followed by this fucking old couple who are also on my flight who didn't know what the fuck was going on and then they just like ended up just following me because they're like would you know where the exit is and they just like they got so stressed out actually it was like ridiculous this couple were like oh no that's so sad they're having a fight in in the airport

over like this stuff and complaining the entire time i'm like jesus christ it made me feel a lot better about my situation nothing to uplift you like the suffering of others that's what i'm saying especially if they're old i fucking find my way out of this this goddamn circus and get out into like what is the parking lot pickup drop off it's a fucking rat maze i i i like get outside and there's just roads everywhere cars everywhere and like people just packed to the brim on every corner and i'm like trying to figure out how to get the fucking shuttle to because the worst part is is that the hotel was like five kilometers away max if not like a little less which is like a 20 30 minute walk something like that you ain't walking shit yeah which i was like i was like oh i'll just get out and walk to the airport or give me some fresh air and stuff like that because i've been fucking cooped up inside a airport all day but no you can't walk anywhere it's all just fucking roads nothing but

roads i never thought i'd get to hear the authentic experience of a european thinking that a walkable distance is walkable in like the south i couldn't believe it i never thought i'd get to hear that in real time but the thing is is that after waiting like half an hour for a fucking shuttle we're packed into this thing like sardines and then we're like sent off and i'm like looking outside And like thinking like hey, why the fuck are we in this shuttle for so long? It's only like you know, it's it's this should be like a five minute drive, but it's so fucking inefficient You have to do like three fucking loops to get out of the airport. I was I was like shitting myself Like this is this is

crazy it's gonna take me like longer than it would have taken me to walk if if i was given like a fucking par it's really fucking weird because that's like mo that's most u.s airports are like this where you want to exit and it's just like oh you have to go you have to go through a loop and then you have to get out there and then there's like five fucking exits yeah it's really they're so poorly constructed yeah it's the amount of like space that's allocated just for parking for people who are driving to the airport themselves to leave their cars there yeah that's gonna be so expensive though yeah it's super fucking it's ridiculous i always uber chelsea and i usually fly to omaha or minneapolis we always have to leave the car for as long as we're like there and it's always like it's always so much but yeah we I finally get to the fucking hotel I realized that

Charlie's life yeah no it's it's not just like a middle of the road like motel or whatever that's fine it's like oh no this is like the cheapest most dog shit thing they could fucking find me when you go into a motel and the fucking front desk is behind plexiglass i i'm like oh this is oh i did yeah this is a this is a fears to fathom game i'm like oh i'm going to prison i guess or a hospital or you're a hospital or you know just somewhere not good and like all of the walls are blank, and, like, there's, like, the fucking default. You've gone to IKEA and just grabbed the fucking picture frame and left whatever default thing was in there.

But, like, you know, I have to wait in line because everybody from my flight got the same fucking deal. They shrank the numbers. I'm surprised that Charlie told you it was fine because I remember staying in a Motel 6 with with him and we had somebody that kept trying to oh no it wasn't with him i was i was in a super 8 and somebody kept trying to get into our room all night it was super fucking weird that was another thing it's on the door it has like a bolt and it's like always keep bolted make sure you don't open the room door i'm like holy fuck where the fuck am i bolted with there

was a bolted room well it was it was like a a door bolt like a just like a re like most hotel rooms will have them oh that i thought there was an extra door with that was bolted in the room and they told you not that would be crazy you'd say that's crazy but in a lot of airbnbs they do that and it always makes me feel like somebody's sleeping in the airbnb with you yeah have you ever seen like those videos on like on twitter of like the host randomly like coming out of a secret door behind a bookshelf and they're like only have a towel on i mean that literally happened to us when we went to chicago what yeah the host just slept in secret in the in that one clue house we stayed at that's's fucking weird. Like, we were just hanging out at one

point during the night, and we just hear some weird noises, and we're like, what the fuck is happening? And then he just comes out. Yeah, it was awful, and then I fucking finally get to Chicago the next day, and I'm like, Charlie, what the fuck? That hotel sucked. And he's like, yeah, I just didn't want to ruin your day anymore. I'm like, you busted.

And then it's a lot of sense. I would not have lied to you though i'm i'm i'm a real one i would have fucking told you oh you're gonna have an awful night dude yeah i'm gonna try to fucking kill you i would have laughed on you at you over the phone as well i would have seen you i would have pushed you down the stairs better to have the expectation that it's going to be shit rather than a ray of hope that immediately is dashed yeah passable bed maybe nope you're lucky they gave you something instead of because sometimes all they'll

do is like, here's a voucher for a hotel and then it's like, oh, I guess you have to pay for the rest. I would have been fucking livid if they, I mean, I was still mad. Yeah, I'd still be fucking pissed. Holy shit, if I just only got a voucher after fucking wasting like 20 hours of my time.

Have you ever had to do like the overnight at the airport itself oh staying at the airport you mean like you mean like sleeping at the airport yeah in the chair fuck that that was another thing there's no fucking like there's fuck all seating in houston airport what yeah everywhere i went there was like no seats left every it was everything packed there was just not enough at all. I'll say, like, there are very few airports where, like, I go and there's, like, no seats. But the ones I like, I've, like, gone to airports where baggage claim doesn't even have seats to sit at. Like, it's just fucking standing room only. Like, they don't even provide it.

Cool. I'm glad that's not the norm and I can specifically say, shit airport. At least somebody didn't try to break in. And at least your bed wasn't full of worms. Actually, I don't think he knows. Did you check for worms? No, somebody didn't try to break in. And at least the bed wasn't full of worms. Actually, I don't think he knows. Did you check for worms? No, I didn't check for worms. Yeah, did you look for the guy from Click Holding? Yeah, I made sure he was

there. He made me comfortable. Made sure he's in his chair. He was watching the door. Made sure nobody broke in. That's what the chair is there for. Yeah. Oh, God. Or you had access to American TV. You could have turned on Cartoon Network and watched Wee Baby Bears and you chose not to. Howdy! This episode of Please Stop Talking is brought to you by FitBod. If you follow me on Twitter, you've probably seen me talk about my fitness and weight loss journey since 2021. I've lost a total of 30 pounds so far, but since I started using FitBod, that actually went down

another five. And it's all thanks to the app keeping me accountable and giving me fresh curated exercises every time i go to the gym i've never been really good at keeping up with a workout plan but fitbod makes it really easy by giving me a personalized workout routine based on my goals fitness level and available equipment within the time restraints i have as i'm talking right now my fitbot gave me an hour-long workout which focuses on working my freshly recovered muscles and has dumbbell lunges, shoulder presses, balance trainer push-ups, and more. My favorite thing about this app is that it tracks my muscle recovery so I don't burn myself out and has over a thousand demonstration videos, so I don't accidentally drop the dumbbell on my foot and let out a big ol' ouch.

Lock in and stay focused. Join FitBod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me slash psd. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-e slash psd and now back to the show uh i think i remember the blacksmith story i was trying to like internalize it do you remember it so back in high school i was like the i want to say like the token poor kid um i.e like there was a group of rich kids

and i would hang out with them and i would be like the poor kid because I was like a theater kid. I was like, Brendan, I was like, you grew up in Iowa. Damn! Way more than just one. What do you mean by that? Oh, no, but like, but like, okay, so I would hang out with the poor kids. Like, I'd go over to my friend Syrit's house and yeah, he was also poor and his mom would be

upstairs RPing as a vampire mistress on Second Life, right? Yo, that's actually awesome. That's the real thing that happened. Like, she would literally just be up on there playing Second Life and RPping as a vampire mistress on second life right yo that's actually awesome that's the real thing that happened like she would she would literally just be up on there playing second life and rping as a vampire mistress do you think she's on vr chat now bro she was moaning through the door into her microphone let me tell you the fucking nightmares oh dude i miss i miss second life is that still is are people still hang out on there there's gonna be a playstation home revival don't worry about it you can't no it's not the same it's not the same playstation home is coming back and i listen i am

setting myself up as dark master four five if you meet me in the vampire halls of playstation home nice please i am summoning i'm summoning a coven by moaning like very loudly yeah i'm gonna be in the dark halls of playstation home you're the guy that made that friend group feel better about their lives is what basically yeah so like my my friends like everybody else lived in uh the country club which is like the nice part of my town like one of my friends his dad was the richest guy in town so he had like the biggest house in country club he owned the steelworks here in town and i'd hang out with all of the rich kids and just be like i'm going to steal so much food from you and you will never know how much food i'm stealing from you you will never know the reason i bring a backpack over to your

house is to steal from your fridge are you serious you would go into their fridge and just go to the pantry and just start grabbing food they never fucking knew because they had because they had a fucking pantry i didn't have a pantry who the fuck has a pantry oh they must have been they must have been like so pissed that every time they tried to eat a craft single they had none uh anyway so like one of the one of the kids i would hang out with it's either like cole or mick cole or something basically he was an only child and both of his parents were doctors so they spoiled him rotten they built him a black smithery in his garage so like this is like spoiled like actual yeah like an actual like they were building him

forges and so one day what the fucking middle ages what the fuck one day i talk him into like he just kept talking about brendan one day i'm going to make you a leather gauntlet i'm going to make you a leather gauntlet it's going to be so epic and i'm like yeah man cool he never made the leather gauntlet because he was also one of those kids who wouldn't stick to a project so he'd be like working on this or that or this or that and he'd always like fucking like jump off and be like oh no dude sorry i'm too busy making a spreadsheet for uh like like i don't know my my mom's shower cycle or something like i don't that's not something i ever want to think about yeah because she needed it to she needed it for fucking second life he was a weird kid but like i would text him and he'd he'd take me to mcdonald's and buy me

mcdonald's so i'm like you're all right man you pay for mcdonald's and i get free mcdonald's from you i'll hang out with you until you're cool i yeah one day i uh i i told him like you have all this larping equipment we should actually gather people and get larping so i started calling up a bunch of people and we went out to the local park and he had blacksmithed himself a full set of like LARPing gear built with like leather but also pillows and everybody else was just using them. So are you saying that he

also did leatherworking? He did leatherworking and he made like he made leatherworking but he also like incorporated all of his blacksmithry stuff into LARPing gear so like a lot of the the only larping gear we had was the stuff he would make so when he arrived he brought this big steel barrel of like larping swords war hammers and hammers dude was like fucking like going ham on this shit

basically built a giant like project into his mind and said i have to complete this i have to do this this is what i will do and so we get to the field it's it's like there's like 10 or 12 of us um nobody's magic and literally what happens is i grab a double hand i think it's a two-handed sword and i just start wailing on him the entire time i was running around and i just spot him and i just start beating the fuck out of him with this two-handed sword and he just fall on the ground and go stop stop pause pause and i'm just fucking wailing jesus christ were you working i don't know i just thought it was funny he was the most like set up person so everybody'd be having fun and i just spot him and i'm like enemy spotted and i just start fucking running towards him as fast as i could i just fucking

would wail on him i had like tunnel vision about it that reminded me we did the we had kid larping as well when we were kids and we had like these big weapons made out of pvc and like foam at one point one of the kids like stopped the larp and told everybody come check this out this is the weirdest shit it just brought me back i haven't thought about this in years with this fucking kid at one point he's just on the top of this slide and he's like check this out and he just started pissing on the slide and letting it like go down the slide and he made all of us watch did he did he fucking slide down the slide afterwards he's like look how fast i go now no he just he just pissed and made us watch and i just i he was like an

older kid oh no he was older by like two years it was not that crazy i i haven't thought about that in so long and now i'm just thinking about watching this fucking kid pissing down a slide i can't believe we unlocked memories in your mind of the pee pee slide. Oh, I mean, there's, there's a story that's worse than that that happened to me. I can't remember if I talked about it on the podcast before. But at one time, I remember we were on a I was this is when I was in kindergarten. And it's one of my core memories because I, I was too young to remember most things. But I remember this so specifically because it was so fucking insane to me at the time. We were on a field trip and everybody had their little backpacks and their little snacks. And we were like walking around because we're fucking toddlers. And I just

remember one of the kids in front of me, I was like, I think I was bullying him or something. Because I don't know, you know, fucking when you're a toddler, you're a pure shit. Man, you fucking love bullying. I love bullying. I do it all the time and i i just remember like pushing this kid around i'm sorry it's so nasty at one point i just push him i i push him and i i was like give me your backpack and i opened this backpack and he just like dude this is so insane he had a fucking turd he had like he had like dog shit in his backpack he was collecting he was collecting specimens i remember being so grossed out and that's where the memory ends and my brain i i sometimes it comes back in my head and i'm like why did this fucking kid had a fucking dog turd in his fucking

backpack his scooby-doo backpack nonetheless bro i had a fucking dog turd in his fucking backpack? His Scooby-Doo backpack. Nonetheless, I had a friend in like elementary school and I remember he would like we'd be like walking around the town and every once in a while he'd be like, okay, tell me if you see any white dog turds. What? He just got really obsessed about like this idea of like finding a white dog turd. You know what? Like a like a turd gets like bleached in the sun and it becomes like white and chalky.

Yeah. He had seen one once and now he he had become obsessed uh fuck what is it sky skyler yeah skyler had become obsessed with like finding the white dog of course his name was skyler are you fucking kidding me he had he had he had become absolutely ensconced with this idea of finding the white dog turd and uh one day he comes into school and he says brendan i found it do you want to see it and i'm like the mythical white dog turd hell yeah he opens up his backpack it's just sitting right there and i'm like that's cool man he's like i know you're fucking kidding yeah you also had a poop backpack kid yeah is it basically but like this was 100 like i knew i knew what was going on like he was

looking for it he was seeking it out it was a treasure for him it was a cherished object a cherished do you think he still has it i'm assuming he still has it on some kind of plaque or pillar somewhere sitting on a marble column he put it in thinking about his success he framed it in a plaque dude kids are fucking nasty my made a diorama with it yeah he just more like a diarrhea more like a diarrhea rama oh shit speaking of diarrhea and educational patreon questions oh that was good that was a good segue that was a good one because all your questions are stupid and if you want to ask ask good questions you go to patreon you have to pay us for us to berate your dumb ass questions we hate if you're part of the five dollar tier on our patreon you can ask a question for the q a

i feel like brendan would fucking brendan would probably have one uh pharmacy fruit bat asks what's the best slash worst intrusive thought you've acted upon i feel like i i knew you fuck it i knew you would start i knew you would start that's such a fucking brendan question you okay because i think i think you might be one of the only people where you don't have intrusive thoughts you just have the thoughts and you act so when i was a kid uh there are a couple at my grandparents trailer that i immediately come to mind and they're they're at the same trailer and in the same time period so they like kind of go together one time i had just got done reading like a this is when i was i want to say like below 10 maybe

maybe like 9 or 10 around there and my grandparents trailer i i got this idea in my head that i should steal spray paint and spray paint sigils on the door to try to like send myself to a different realm and i got in a lot of trouble because i was just spray painting different sigils on the door my grandma gets home she's like what the fuck are you doing and it's just me with a gray spray paint can't just fucking i'm going to go to that magic place i'm going to go to the magic place because they had a door leading to the outside of the trailer with no steps so it was like if i magic the door i'll open it and go to like narnia or i'll go to a different world

reality shifting yeah i was like i was like i was like this is the intrusive thought the second one was the there was no running water in the sink in my grandparents trailer for a while so i thought ah i will be smart about this so i would take my tasmanian devil plastic sippy cup dip it in the toilet bowl and that's what clean water is. As long as I flushed before I did it, it was clean. That's so smart. Kids with poop and pee and shit.

Third intrusive thought in that same era was magnet man. But I think I've already told that story in this podcast where I got the idea to hot glue magnets to my head and my hands to climb the bridge. You have a hundred percent. That's fucking amazing. God. Well,

and also one time in the same area, I did just try to climb the fridge in that same era and a big knife fell on my toe and cut my big toe in half. And I had to walk like no pain, splooshy from like leaking a bunch of blood from my big toe over my grandpa who was sitting on the couch I just pointed at it and said hey look at that he went what the fuck did you do

one of my intrusive thoughts it's not like that crazy but I don't usually do this but I was very drunk and it was at a hundred I was at a of course it was but it was at a hundred gex concert very recently and i just saw this dude and i i never do this i never start like i i like i talked with people but i

never like start really uh i i i i just saw this guy and he had this cool vibe he he he was dressed like very similarly to me with like the punk the punk battle vest and like all the jewelry and i just saw and i was like you know what i don't know this dude i'll just buy him a beer and see where it lands where where it goes so i was just like hey man want a beer and then he was like oh yeah dude thank you and then like we go get a beer and then we're talking through the first act which was i think it was machine girl and that was insane because machine girl climbed on top of the amps and then security had to like try to tell machine girl to get down from the amps and they were like no and this dude and i were just hanging out and at one point i point to his like

he has this really cool metal metal font necklace and i'm like oh what does that say and he just said oh it says cum slut i love cum and i was like okay like he buys me a drink and then i buy him a drink and event like we're just we just keep talking and talking during the during the first acts and eventually he just turns around to me and he like after the after the 100 geeks show and he just turns to me and he's like so um can you suck my dick could you could i suck your dick could we go to the bathroom and i we could suck dicks and i was like oh you've i've misread this situation i thought we were just homies and uh i just left that's it i i i got i got scared then it was like i was married. I wasn't going to get married.

I didn't know when this happened. I didn't know when this happened. It was like this year. I don't know. I thought he was a cool guy. We were talking about a bunch of really cool stuff. To be fair, now that I think back,

I feel like all the signs were there because he kept talking about cum. He was like, you're like, oh, you're a dick in cum. You're like, oh, this guy's a friend. I was so drunk, man. I was just like on a few shots. And in my head, I was just like, well, this dude loves cum.

Everybody has their little thing. He's just like me for real, for real. Maybe he's just got a special interest. I don't know. Hyper fixated. I just like to check the viscosity of it. It's not a sex thing. He's just like me for real for real. Maybe he's just got a special interest. I don't know. Hyper fixated. I just like to check the viscosity of it. It's not a sex thing. I just like to check the viscosity. What's your diet?

Write it down for me. I don't want to know what his diet was, but he loved cum. It's all pineapple. He would have hated me. I'm allergic. Do you guys, do you two over there, do you you have one nothing that comes to mind i've definitely done a lot of dumb stuff drunk but like i can't think about like right because i

don't think it's intrusive thoughts i think it's just a thought you have when you're drunk and you just do it because you're like fuck it what what's the worst that can happen i've definitely thrown my phone out of like the car window and that's what i think of when i think of intrusive thoughts where it's like i'm going to throw my car my phone out the car window and then i do it and i'm like wait a minute stop stop i gotta get my phone why would you do that i have like really like dumb thoughts that i don't act on but like i also get like real kind of intrusive thoughts with the ocd the closest i can think to this is when i was a kid i in kindergarten you know how i don't know if i've told this story before but like you know how like uh a lot of kindergarten bathrooms will like have a dedicated bathroom per classroom yeah

yeah because the because if a kid has to go you're not gonna they're not gonna have they're just not gonna have enough time to fucking for some fucking reason like there was like a kid in the boys one who kept peeing in like the fucking corner of the bathroom a person would keep like having to like come out it's like someone peed in the fucking corner again and then it came down to like the fucking corner of the bathroom a person would keep like having to like come out it's like someone peed in the fucking corner again and then it came down to like the sit down with uh where they're like listen we don't need to know who did it but you have to stop otherwise we can't let you keep using the bathroom the janitors are mad and for some reason i decided to come out and tell the truth and raise my hand in front of the class like i it was me oh i don't

know why i started doing it i just no i did it oh you did oh i don't know why i started doing it i just no i did it oh you did it i don't know why i was doing it i think i was just like fucking like not even thinking there was no emotion attached to it just wanted to pee in the corner instead of the toilet i just remembered never mind oh i have no excuse for the things i do because i just remembered something i did that was not similar. Just fucking stupid. I was really drunk and my friend was with me. We were at a bar. We were pissing at the urinals and he was next to me.

And I was just like, this would be the, this is probably the funniest thing ever. I should probably do this. And I just like, you know how I just like fully dropped my pants instead of just like what am I saying I know what I mean I know what you mean I just dropped my pants fully instead of just like having my dick out you peed in public like you usually would pee at home and uh somebody came in the bathroom they probably they're like man what a fucking bowler goddamn that guy's fucking they're probably like holy holy shit that's also straight up a scene in letter kenny too that happens yeah it's uh i think it's a urinal scene and then one of the guys walks in and he just pulls his pants all the way down to start pissing

at the urinal and the other two guys leave did kids used to do that at like primary school oh all the time all the time that's why i thought that's why in my brain i was like this is hilarious it's just me and my boy me and my boy pissing i'll make him laugh and then i just dropped my pants fully and then he saw my ass and he laughed then somebody else came in and it was not so funny because then i felt like a moron i think like the only intrusive thing i can think of recently is or not legally not recently is like uh like being drunk uh you know like i'd pick there's gonna be like a construction going on and i just like oh there's a cone i should pick that up and then i like pick it up and then i like walk two blocks and be like i don't want this and i just put it down that's like that's like funny goofy no harm like that's just like so

like harmlessly stupid i love it I don't want this cone anymore. Billy, didn't we have a cone moment on one of the Colorado trips? Yes, I did that. I was going to say I did the exact same thing, except I don't have the, I was not drunk. I just did it because I was like, I would love a cone. Was it me or Charlie that were like, you got to put that back? It was you. It was me.

Yeah, it was me. I was like, I took it away from you and I put that back. It was you. It was me. It was you, you fucking straight mom ass. I took it away from you and I put it back. Of course it was you. I put it in the car and then while I went to the bathroom, you took it back. I did take it back, yeah. Brendan, if they didn't want us to take them, why did they put so many out? They would have put a sign that said free cone. If there was a sign that said free cone, it would be okay.

Fuck, he's got us. Imagine, all right, somebody has a long day at the construction job work factory, and they're like, God, I can't wait to get back to work tomorrow and look at my beauty. They're so excited to get back to their construction job work factory and see their beautiful arrangement of cones, but alas,

one of the cones has been stolen, and he looks at his conicular budget, and there's no money. There's no room to buy more cones. He goes home. His wife leaves him. He loses his three ferrets. He's done. He's dusted. Bro is crashing out because you took that cone.

Think of the butterfly effect, or maybe even the margarine fly effect. Grow up and be better. Nice. Margarine. You cannot stop me from stealing cones. It's just a harmless act. You just take it home. And stop signs?

Oh, yeah. No, stop signs. Oh, stop signs are totally okay. You should take as many as you want. Yeah, no. That's actually... That's an actual... The funniest thing ever.

Legally, we are joking. Of course we're joking. What the fuck? Unless you're willing to do it wink no that's a also we're full of jokes come on happy international podcast day road work ahead i sure hope it does i'm reading the last one you put in patreon questions what the hell is a crack ship oh a crack ship crack ships are like this is perfect for me it's like is this an a03 thing yes um it's like really stupid pairings in fictional media a lot of them are like it like just there's levels of

crack ship where like they're just two characters who like don't interact in a series at all so why the fuck are you putting them together cameron and stinger flan and then and then there's like fucking obama x rainbow dash type shit okay i i feel like crack ships wouldn't be that funny if it's just like two characters from a series that are like drastically different i feel like it needs to be characters that would be awful for each other i mean the thing the question pertains another member of the podcast with a character from fictional media so i said somebody read it properly though because i was as it's i just wanted to know what it was before i read it in case it was like something fucked um tristan mccall asks if you could each crack ship another member of the podcast with a character from fictional media who are you choosing and why

oh with fictional media oh fuck i posit cameron and stinger flynn what is stinger flynn again garden of ban ban oh in that case i mean i feel like it would be a bunch of ban bans though you get one of the fazbears but not the fazbear oh wait are they all get glam rock freddy me who would get glam rock freddy i've seen him in porn you have to wake up the accident was your fault, Gregory. Who's the chicken? Chica. Toy Chica, Withered Chica. That's how I'm shipping with Brendan. Fuck you. This is a very

large range, Cameron. They can be very... You get the chicken. Toy Chica's hot. Original Chica, not so much. Withered Chica is hot if you're into that. I just realized we're like... Karen and I are in this call with two people who actually know about this stuff.

This is an evil fucking day for us. Yeah. Bro, do you know about Fazgoo? Is this like the fucking Prometheus black goo that turns you into Freddy Fazbear? Have you ever heard of MatPat in canon getting

pregnant with Springtrap's child? Getting pregnant, yeah. What do you mean canon? In the books. What do you mean in the books he's pregnant? In the books he's pregnant. I have like five of them on my shelf. Oh my god.

All unopened because they're going to go up in value. What a fucking strange flex. I was going to make a video on them but then like resale there's 12 books there's books i'm more surprised by the fact that grown-ass man owns owns them business expense bro i bro i'm like in canaan married to springtrap online like what the fuck do you think this is do you ever just fucking wonder what your life could have been? No, not really. This is kind of how I wanted it. I want it to be fake.

Okay, crack ships. We are so far, man. We're so far. Crack ships. Okay. Let's go through us. Brendan, Brendan. Again, Chica from Five Nights at Freddy's. They deserve each other. That's not crack enough.

It's not crack enough considering who Brendan is. I'm going to say Pico's gun from Friday Night Funkin', but only the gun, and it has like one bullet in the chamber. I have worse than that. Brendan and the atomic heart hand that's really horny. No, the fridge that's horny. Okay, that's it. Billy and the Two-Headed Man

from Callisto Protocol. Which one, Brendan? Which one? Which of the four is he? There's like four. Both of them. How about an amalgamation? How about we hit up

the four-headed man? Oh, shit. What if they sign him? Billy, Chris Lyft. Billy, Chris Lyftiss you have to dodge you have to priss live i'm actually getting the worst one what the fuck yeah i'm gonna have to say uh mandy and shane carpenter from haze did you open a mint as you said that please tell tell me to open a mint as you said that. Yeah, let me pull up AI. I opened up and ate a hazement again. I'm so fucking fucked up on nectar.

I'm bushing. Cameron and the fictional version of David Cage in Fahrenheit. Oh, fuck off, man. Cameron and the primordial voice from Disco Elysium. David Cage, but he's wearing the heavy rain lady protagonist's fucking underwear from the start of the game. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

He has to go to the shower five times in a row. I can't believe I was checking AO3, and I just saw there's a 4,000-word fan fiction about Cameron and the crash test dummy from Indigo Prophecy. The fucking tutorial? You're talking about the tutorial dummy? The tutorial dummy from Indigo prophecy tutorial tutorial I'm gonna I'm gonna say Cameron and Kia D Monday you're one of his five wives so you don't really get a lot of attention from him you keep talking about fucking Chica I feel like it quite really hard though

quite is one of the because you you you would feel at home with anybody. Oh, Quiet and Jimmy Carter. That's just disrespectful. That's a good one. He turned 100. Fictional. That's true. Oh, yeah.

I forgot the caveat. We forgot the... He is fictional. What are you talking about? It's true. Yeah, nobody's 100. That's crazy. Is he like the only non-war criminal president? No, he was still a war criminal.

Aw. Every American president is a war criminal. It's just part of the puzzle. Sorry. I thought that's why you only won one term, because then like, you know, war criminal audience not really appeased. No war. Can't win a second term. No, they just hated that he owned a peanut farm.

They just really hated his peanut farm. Skellycopter asks, what is your favorite guilty pleasure bad movie? Kung Pao Under the Fist. Master of Disguise. That one also gets right there. That one's also tops for me. I don't know if Kung Pao, I would say, is like, it's not a bad movie.

I feel like because it is what it wants to be. Scorpion Thunderbolt. Scorpion Thunderbolt is a good one. I watched Madam Whib earlier. Oh, that one too. I would put that one in there too. Dude, it's made me watch like five other bad movies in hopes of like rekindling what I felt watching Madam Whip.

Ken, do you like the scene where she leaves the kids in the woods? She's gone for like two weeks to like travel to the jungle and then she comes back from the jungle and it's like the kids were only gone for like two weeks to like travel to the jungle and then she comes back from the jungle and it's like the kids were only there for an hour wait i know she travels to the jungle but was that but while there i thought it was while the kids were in the woods were they in the woods i thought it was while they were in the woods i remember it being while the kids were in the woods it feels like she travels for like an hour things that happen in that movie that make fucking zero sense it's great

it's cameron i have a shot in the dark suggestion for something that might work spider-man lotus i don't want to watch that fucking movie i really don't want to watch that movie what the hell is that uh spider-man lotus is a fan uh film no i'm done i'm out that's it i i hear fan film and it's a marvel fucking never wasn't it made by a racist the guy who played spider-man apparently like tour sixes i can't it might have been both it's been a minute it's been yeah oh the the the classic both uh but i remember the hearing about the fucking commentary where they're just shitting on the like the woman that they got

to play Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy being bad at acting or something like that which is crazy John Watts DM'd the director saying hey man I think it'll good luck looks cool and then like the director of the fan film getting you know encouragement from the director

of the actual movies right now is like it's just gonna be way fucking better than watson you fucking act fucking hate john watson what would be for me that i have so many bad movies that i love ah it would be lame if i said the happening again but i really like the happening you know what i really like the happening because it's so fucking bad it It's good. What? No! I like the new M. Night Shyamalan movie. Trap is also a fucking massive piece of shit

and I think it's so fucking funny. I don't understand how people watch these movies and genuinely think these are good. He's back. He's back. Trap and The Happening have the exact same vibe. The exact same vibe where Josh Hartnett just like sounds like he's on another fucking planet.

He doesn't even sound human in that fucking movie. It's so bad. It's great. I love it. I love a good M. Night romp. M. Night Parmesan. Because he's cheesy. My favorite thing.

I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on Madam Web. My favorite thing is that she's a fucking EMT nurse. Just, like, hates people. She hates children. Remember when, at the start of the movie, they save, like, that kid's dad, and he, like, brings her a drawing,

and she's like, I don't fucking want this. Get it away from me. And you're like, what? She gets a drawing for saving, like, this fucking kid's dad. And the kid goes up to her and is like, thanks for saving my dad. And she's like, oh, gross. And then she sees her friend.

She's like, where's the closest garbage bin? I want to throw this out. Dude, I think that was like... The best part is that I'm pretty sure that type of dialogue was just how uncooperative Sidney Sweeney was being on set because you got duped into being in that fucking movie. No, Dakota Johnson. But yes, Dakota Johnson. That's yeah.

No, Dakota Johnson is the best in that movie because it's clear in every scene. She does not want to be there and thinks it's fucking stupid. Like it's so great. Did you like the part where they weren't allowed to say Peter Parker, but the baby at the end, they zoom out at the very end and the curtains look like spider webs. Oh, are you kidding me? No, because his parents are in the movie. Wait, is Madam Web Sony?

Anything Spider-Man is Sony. Yeah, it's the Spider-Verse, bro. It's Sony, but they didn't want to call the baby Peter Parker. They didn't want to call Adam Scott Ben Parker, so they just call him Ben. I don't think they ever say the last name Parker in the movie. It was really odd. I thought Sony owned this. Were they not allowed to directly

reference Peter Parker's Spider-Man? No, I don't. Yeah, they keep doing Spider-Man movies without Spider-Man in it. It's awesome. Let them cook. Dude, it's just like, let them cook. We're going to get Crank the the hunter it hurts me because there's just really good villains that will never be used in a spider-man movie with spider-man in it

yeah we're getting an r-rated craven the fucking hunter movie with taylor johnson i forgot about that it looks really awesome it's been delayed like three times yes dude that's the that's the mark of quality i am just waiting for one of these like fucking like slop sludge fucking movies to just end up being a fucking like visionary like piece one of these days it'll happen one of these days i'm just saying watch watch watch madam webb don't say a word that you're you kind of make me want to watch it now if i'm honest like it sounds awful you should i genuinely think it's a great time it's it's like if it's it's the it's a high budget fucking the room and i mean that's that's going too far probably but like it's really i was gonna

say i don't know i could imagine re-watching this in cinemas like a year from now and like bringing spoons or something. This dude just called Madam Web's cinema. To scoop your own gray matter out with? Yeah. The big thing about watching The Room is everybody brings plastic spoons at room showings to throw it at the screen. What would you bring to

Madam Web? A child? No, no. You'd get the fucking like, uh, web blasters that you could buy. Oh, yeah! I'm getting convinced, dude. That sounds awesome. No one swings! There's no wib!

Wait, Evil Spider-Man crawls on the subway seat. Yeah, he does crawl. I don't know if he doesn't swing. The best part about Madame Web is that in the comics, she's, like, blind and a paraplegic. I don't want to spoil it for you quite, but it's her origin story bro okay i'm sold i'm sold i'm sold i've never wanted to watch a movie more in my life that's fucking awesome oh it's so good hollywood does it again oh wait did you quite did you even i said said Master of Disguise. You said Master of Disguise?

You call that movie bad? Don't start. Not with me. I didn't say it was bad. I said I was guilty. Hello, slapping dummy man. Is this the one where he found out about 9-11 while in the suit? Or is this a different one?

I don't even want to get into it. People get so mad about if that's true or not. Dana Carvey said on a podcast what happened. If it did happen... It's driving me insane. What about Monster Disguise makes it

good to watch? The part where he says, hello, slapping dummy man. And then a little tiny dude pops out of the slapping dummy man. He's like, oh, Slapping Dummy Man. The ghillie suit disguise is still peak. And I don't know.

I still quote the hand smacking thing and his mom also being really cool and being the shit of the guy that's going to kill her when the hands are coming out of the sink. Twelve kids go into the water. Eight kids come out of the water. The ice cream man, he take the rest. You know what you should do? The world a favor and take myself out? Hey, thanks so much for listening.

This episode would not have been possible without the help from our patrons, such as Alan Diver, Blind But Funny, Boo Boo Lou, Brain Soup, Brass, Cassandra Crash, Chips, Chris Chapman, DX Studios, Edward McMillan, Eric Scott Gillies, Ethereal, Gieff, Generic Phoenix, Guy Beam, Invictus Echo, Jaybird, Lambda Man, Leo the Geotech, Mr. Starchy, Mr. Shirt, Pharmacy Fruitbat, Preston Husk, Random Diamonds, Rat Supreme, Ryan Rocket, Spherical May, The Frost Days, Tokutera, Ulbert, Will9455, and Woodstock. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.