Please Stop Talking - Goblins and Gondolas | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: July 24, 2017

We're back, we're bois, and we're pretty sure episode 2 was a fluke. US Amazon Link: http://bit.ly/PSTAmazonUS CA Amazon Link: http://bit.ly/PSTAmazonCA CCC/Shammy Collab: https://youtu.be/qzdvUcDfdGo Podcast also available on iTunes and YouTube! iTunes - apple.co/2slCqTT YouTube - https://youtu.be/xYWNGXeVp-Y Links: Avery - twitter.com/ShammyTV David - twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Kyle - twitter.com/SirZulu_ Cameron - twitter.com/SuperSneakSheep Podcast - twitter.com/PSTPodcast Art by Madbuns: Twitter - twitter.com/mad_buns DA - madbuns.deviantart.com Other links: YouTube - youtube.com/c/shammytv Twitch - twitch.tv/ShammyYT Reddit - reddit.com/r/Shammy VO in this video was mixed and mastered by David Tremblay (bit.ly/SirMeowMixing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Weird buttholes. Oh, s***. Welcome to the podcast. Hey, David's introing. Hello, welcome to the podcast. David's not introing. Welcome to the Please Stop Talking podcast. I'm your host. My name is Averyvery you might also know me as shammy i'm joined today

as always by david hello nope david hello okay kyle hey how's it going cameron what's up? And David. Hey! I don't want David, but okay. So we should probably start by explaining where we've been for the past few weeks. Yeah, that would be a good idea. So the first week we did put up an announcement video thing explaining because I was dead.

He died. He actually died died he got stabbed but three days later he came back yes like Jesus three days later are you proud of yourself David yeah I am really proud of myself

okay well basically we didn't record that week because I was still in recovery from surgery i was uh in a lot of i was in a lot of pain i had to get i had to get an appendectomy i had uh i had appendicitis really bad my appendix was about to explode they had to cut that shit out of me couldn't take um i couldn't take the hit yep sorry i'm just i'm a pussy when i have an organ cut out it kind of hurts sorry so you might as well just let it explode dude it's a self-destruct there yeah put yourself put yourself in a coma

you fucking idiot yeah you know you bring up a lot of really good points that i didn't think of at the time uh i was busy it's okay you panicked i understand yeah no wait have i have you told you guys uh like when i when i because i i couldn't drive i couldn't drive to the emergency care center i had to call my mom to like come and get me yeah and like drive me there have i told you guys about that about how my mom was like my mom's like pretty pretty openly was like you're being a fucking pussy she didn't think anything was wrong she was like i can't fucking believe i'm taking my son to emergency care because he has really bad gas pains oh my god and i was like on the floor fucking crying i thought i was gonna die yeah good job mom

there was that and also we were all leaving the next day everyone was getting ready to travel so it was just bad timing all around honestly and then the next week after that we recorded a because we were all traveling me David and Kyle

were all going to the same place we met up and we're we recorded a special guest episode with special guest charlie yeah we talked about man of steel and we talked about man of steel penis ships and the lion king and david took his shirt off so we hope you guys david did take his shirt off and it was it was a time because it was a very hot room that we were recording in because we had to turn off the air conditioning. But that podcast...

Okay, whatever. It's not important. Listen, it was just a hot room, David. It was just hot. You get four hot boys in a hot room, it gets hot. Okay? Hot boys in a hot room means shirts come off. It's just what happens. Hot boys in a hot room. That off. It's just what happens. Hot boys in a hot room. That's the second podcast

name. That's the podcast when we officially replaced Cameron with Charlie. Yep. We wound up having to scrap that episode because of technical difficulties and I put up a clip on Twitter showing how terrible

it sounded because something fucked up with Audition. The podcast gods hated Charlie. Yeah, basically. So, we didn't record that week either because we were all dead. Actually, we did record. We did record

but we didn't re-record is what I'm saying. David, correct me again and you're off the fucking podcast. Well, shit. All in favor say aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. No! Outvoted. Outvoted, David.

It's got to be unanimous. David has to say aye. I disapprove. He said aye. No! All right. All right. All right.

Yeah, so that's basically it. So I don't know what we're talking about this week. I think mostly talk about the trip, I guess. Yeah, I reckon we should talk about the trip. It sounds really interesting from my perspective. Like, you guys were meeting up in, like, antics and shoe. No one got stabbed. Yeah, it was weird.

I was expecting at least one stabbing. I'm going to be honest. Really? Okay, so how I got to Colorado. Wait, okay. You can say Colorado. Okay, yeah. I got to Colorado. Wait, okay. You can say Colorado. Okay, yeah. It's a state.

To get to Colorado. We have a location as we speak. To get to Colorado, what I did was I flew to Chicago to meet up with Charles, and then we did a 20-hour road trip to colorado and it was hell but halfway through it like 10 hours in charles i remember vividly because i was dying and i just turned around like with just big black pouches under my eyes i just stare with my gross goblin face at charles and i'm and gross goblin yeah and he just stares right back and he's like what he starts laughing like wouldn't it be funny if we got catfished by avery and i just remember i just remember thinking no that would not be funny at all

that would be actually really fucked up i think didn't uh one of you said who was it yeah you thought you were gonna get catfished yeah that was me and charles yeah no which one of you you you fucking idiot? Use your goddamn phone. Use your goddamn ears. I just said both. We both thought we were going to get catfished. Wow, you're an idiot. You flew to Chicago and drove 20 hours when you thought you were going to get catfished. No, I didn't think I was going to get catfished. I kind of wish I had now so you'd learn a fucking lesson. Look, I didn't think I was going to get catfished until he mentioned.

You're really irresponsible with your money, David. I don't know if I want to pay you to master my audio anymore you're like sitting in the airport you're sitting in the airport you overhear this they're like fuck i wonder if he's catfish us and you're like you fucking idiots then you just walk off i fucking reverse catfish them it is me but they're not allowed to stay yeah no when he told me that it is me but now they kidnapped me when he when he said that then i started thinking oh god i got catfished but thankfully we saw yours you saw you and you were real and you were actually a person as opposed to isn't it weird that i isn't it weird that i'm a person no not really although i thought it was really weird

when we all when we met up with you because me and charlie just did not sleep even though he thinks i slept i did not sleep charlie fuck you anyways we were both really fucking tired and you just woke up and you look tired and we just like you just i remember he he told me like hide the cat stop filming oh yeah you fucking filmed it you felt you filmed me so many times while we were in fucking colorado yeah but he just tells me, stop filming. He's over there. And I just look up and I just see you stumbling around like really slowly towards the car. Now, to be fair, I know Avery's like an internet celebrity and all, but going up to him first

thing with the camera is kind of weird, David. Didn't David greet everyone with a camera, though? No, he just waited outside patiently for me. Wow. It was definitely the internet celebrity. That's not very courteous of you. He needed footage, he meant sharing. Yeah, I need to prove why.

You can't show it. You can't show any of it. He's now using it as blackmail material so you can't get rid of him. Is that a challenge? Oh, good idea! Cameron! Cameron!

Yeah. And then we just went up into your room and we just sat down and ate muffins very silently. Oh yeah, I forgot. You guys got in in the morning. We ate muffins and there was that sandwich that no one ever wound up eating. It just slowly inflated. That's true, it inflated. It just slowly inflated as the week went on. That was fucking weird. What? You guys had a sandwich that inflated? Oh yeah, no, no. Oh, you guys didn't see it? There were these like pre-bagged sandwiches sort of thing. They were like pre-packaged and they brought a few sandwiches we bought three or so three sandwiches yeah three sandwiches and you brought some some muffins and uh one of the sandwiches just no one ate it i guess and it just slowly as the week went on began to inflate which

was really weird because it's not like so if you bring things like from Texas or something to Colorado, it'll inflate. We should also mention we were in the mountains. We were staying in the mountains. Oh yeah, we were in the mountains. We were staying in the mountains. Which is why things inflate. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like if you bring something from low elevation to high elevation and it's sealed, it'll inflate.

But they got it there. Yeah, we got it there and it was not inflated. It just slowly inflated as the week went on, and it made me feel like the cheese on the sandwich was excreting something. It made me very uncomfortable, because it was in my room for the entire week, and the entire time I was just thinking,

this sandwich is going to fucking explode in the middle of the night. Yeah, I know. I kept telling you, like, wouldn't it be funny if the sandwich exploded during the middle of the night that's yeah i know i i kept telling you like ha wouldn't it be funny if the sandwich exploded during the middle of the night and you would not laugh this is not very funny it's very serious i thought it was really funny anyways it's serious business you ever had a fucking exploding

sandwich in your bedroom david if you'd ever had you'd ever had a fucking exploding sandwich in your bedroom david if you'd ever had you'd ever had a fucking exploding sandwich in your bedroom you would not be making fucking jokes right now david okay well i guess yeah when you guys say inflating sandwich i just think of like a dry sandwich off in the corner it's just increasing in size as the week no no no no it was in like a it was in like a pre like it was in like a sandwich shrink wrap bag bag a shrink not it wasn't shrink it wasn't it was like it was sealed yeah it was sealed it was in a it was in a triangular sandwich seal people know what i'm talking about look this is the sandwich podcast now anyways sandwich cast what was on the sandwich it was ham and cheese so i couldn't eat it anyways i don't know why they brought it neither of them wanted it because i don't eat pork.

Well, I actually bought that one for me, and I didn't want it. Because it started growing on you. David, again, you're proving to me time and time again that you are not very good with your money. I should be sending it elsewhere. I agreed. That $1? Oh, boy. I'm going to miss it.

Actually, it's $2. Anyways. Avery, don't you have a uh oh i mean are we already there i was i thought we were gonna talk about meeting everyone yeah actually wait okay wait i have a story so when we got there we we we had to wait for max our friend max to get there and everybody fell asleep except me so I had to wait for max to get in but I just say you also fell asleep I fell the fuck asleep okay I died why did you say everyone fell asleep but me you also fell asleep okay

because I was supposed to be the guy. It doesn't count because I was slept last. Yeah, you're saying because you fell asleep last? You could have said that instead of saying No, because I was supposed to stay awake because I told everybody no worry guys. Yeah, you were the one who was supposed to stay awake. You said you would stay awake and you're the one who fell asleep. Oh my god, let me finish my goddamn story.

Anyways, so I fell asleep but then I woke up because uh anna human porridge just texted me and she was like we're like human porridge like people are gonna know who that is yeah i don't know why i said that anyways look her up on youtube yeah look her up on youtube she's up and coming she's well yeah she's a she's tomorrow's Jake Paul. I'm telling Anna you said that. No, we don't need to.

She'll hear it. How about we don't tell her and then as a test of friendship, see if she watches the podcast. And if she doesn't watch the podcast, she really is the Jake Paul of tomorrow. Exactly. But yeah. And then I was like, okay, well, I go out so i went out i was waiting for kyle and uh uh i don't remember who else was there other people other people but in that in that batch of people i don't remember who i was waiting for and i'm just standing outside and then i i just see some somebody from because i didn't know what Max looked like

and he just comes up to me and he's like, Kyle! And I was like I was just looking at him I was like, no. I just said no. I love that he just assumed. I love that he just assumed you were Kyle.

I love that he just assumed you were me. But it also kind of, like, come on. I'm not David and I don't look anything like David. I thought it was so funny because I just answered with, like, a dry ass, no. Kyle, you don't want to fucking have a goblin face? I don't want to look like David's goblin face, okay? You don't want to look like David's goblin face? Jesus Christ.

I don't know why the word goblin is so funny to me. It is. It's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. So that's how I met Max. Max is a good dude. And then when I first got out of the car, I thought we were all going to do our hugs

and stuff. And I go to hug David. And then David just like freaks out and is like, what the fuck, dude? Get off of me and shit. And I'm like, what the fuck,'m like David David ain't a hugger I am not a hugger at the end I I tried David in person I tried to hug him oh my god no I look I tried hugs at the end you you saw me you did and it was the most uncomfortable hug of my entire life, I think. Really? Second to Anna? Or worse- No, it wasn't-

Wait, Anna's hug- Are you guys writing each other's hugs at this moment? Yeah, wait, yeah, no, can we write each other's hugs real quick? Greg has the best- Who has the worst hugs? Greg has the best hug. Greg has the best hug. Of course.

Worst? Well, for me it's Anna. Because I did- Well, you and Well, for me, it's Anna. Because I did... Well, you and Anna hugging, I feel like that should be against the Geneva Convention. So here's what happened. I went and I put my arm around her. And then she was just like... Wait, she just started laughing.

She said, oh, okay okay we're hugging now haha and i started laughing so hard and then i was like yeah i'm not really a hugger either and then i don't i'm gonna ask her if i can say that, but she just looked at me and she was like, Oh, when you were a kid, did you also not hug your plushies? And I was just like, what? What does that mean? What are you talking about?

I feel like that's Anna in an interaction yeah hugging plushies is a gateway to hugging real people come on guys oh my god plushies are gateway hugs I think I didn't meet anyone I woke up much later that morning and I just came downstairs and people were there

and I was like oh hey that's pretty much how I met everyone you're just sitting on the stairs and I walk outside and I'm like oh hey it was fun it was good I didn't have to deal with any of the awkward hugging or thinking that

Kyle was David I didn't hug to deal with any of the awkward hugging or thinking that Kyle was David. Thinking that David was Kyle. True, you didn't have to think. I didn't hug you until the end, David. Yeah, there you go. You can't escape hugs. Hugs happened. Okay.

Hugs happened. Hugs happened. Hugs happened and you had no fucking part of it. No, you had a part of it at the end. At the end. Anyways. You were a finale hugger yeah finale hugger

thank you David I'm glad it was the finale one of the stories that you guys have like told that I found really great is like using shammy

as like whenever you order food or something like that every time David would be a fucking tramp every time David would fucking

order food he would give them the name shammy so i'd be like i didn't find out about that till after the trip and i was like like we went to a restaurant where and we just ordered burgers and she was like everybody already ordered i always did the same thing i waited until everybody ordered so i could be last so i could say stupid shit and then she was just like whose name and i was like uh shammy and then avery would sit down so he was so fucking proud of himself i know so fucking proud of himself too

and then she would just say Hey, Shani! And then everyone looked at me. You wouldn't even look at the window. He looked straight at me. I knew it was you. Because who the fuck else would do that, David? Yeah, true. Can we get a movement? You think I think Greg?

You think I think Greg is going to give them the name Shani? Greg doesn't have that in him. Can we do a movement? Next time you guys order food Can you put it under the name Shammy and send us pictures of your receipts Please At PST Podcast Go to Starbucks

I won't be there so go for it Go fucking wild I want to see the fun and creative ways they try and spell Shammy Because we got some good ones while David was ordering What was it S-H-A-M-i-e yeah exactly that's all I know shammy that's fine yeah it's not that bad it's actually looks foreign it sounds foreign I guess so when you tell them shammy tell them to add a random letter be like oh with a K show me with a K show me with a K

like how the fuck see where they throw it in the see where they throw it in the name I'm looking forward to all the shamquizzies no uh fucking god I hate David I hate David I guess David didn't realize it while we were there but the more

I reflect on it the more I realize how much I fucking hate David the more I reflect on it the more I love David hell yeah I'm lovable you're just a fucking contrarian no I he didn't put my name on any...

Okay, same thing happened to me. Yo, David. I'm as famous as Avery because when I went to Chick-fil-A with Chandler and Ahmad and Crowley, Crowley put his name as Kyle, I put my name as Kyle, and Chandler and Ahmad both put their names as Kyle

and the Chick-fil-A order came up to us four times and was like, so this one's for Kyle but I'm guessing it put their names as Kyle. And the Chick-fil-A order came up to us four times. It was like, so this one's for Kyle. But I'm guessing it's not the same Kyle. Everyone is Kyle. Yeah, they were so confused. And Mick was just sitting there being Nick. We started a movement.

Everyone, will you go order a fucking coffee at Starbucks? Give them the name Kyle. Yeah, guys. See what happens? See how weird ways they spell it. Maybe we're like, K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K it? Maybe with a K. Don't touch Kyle with a K.

K-Y-E-L. What were you saying, Avery? I don't remember. What are we talking about? Anyways, so to go to the main village, we had to go down the mountain. Are we doing gondola stories now? Yeah, we had to go down and we had to sit in a small box suspended in the air with strangers yes and that's actually one thing i realized in america like strangers talk strangers talk a lot

strangers talk to you yeah they're extremely polite that happens in new zealand as well yeah yeah you fucking americans go it um fuck off i remember one time me and avery we went to get beer and we got like two boxes of beer like that it was just a lot of beer oh you're gonna talk about the family from new york yes the child who seemed like he should be in a bunch of new yorkers the fucking no no not even like that the fucking the child who felt like he belonged in a christmas special it was a fucking christmas special they were a christmas special in summer dude they were it was bizarre they were shockingly wholesome upper class new york but like you were you were extremely polite you're you're good at talking to people yes i'm from texas dude texas is like people don't ever stop talking here

but i like i fucking walk down the street and people say hello and i say go away was that do you hit them like what was that i wasn't born here i don't like it avery just pimp slaps everyone in texas i was born in florida if someone comes up to me and says hello i think they're gonna try and stab me and take my meth. That's all I think they're doing. Your meth? What? Or they're an alligator.

Oh, my God. Wait, did you say take your meth? What? Disregard that comment. Anyways. Yeah, but the family was just there and like the kid just looks at his mom and he's like, the sunset is so pretty with it like i just when i saw that i i remember avery looked at me and with big eyes and i was like yep that's my big eyes yeah you're big don't reveal your big

he fucking turned his neck 180 degrees around and just stared at you. And he was like, who? I don't even hear anything about my dopey eyes from Goblin Face. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I remember you started talking to them. And the only thing I was thinking was like, this kid is so wholesome. I could probably ruin his life in two words. Jesus. And I was just, what the hell, dude?

What the fuck? You're going to be canadian why are you doing that he's he's french canadian okay no you're right i was just thinking like which two words could like fuck up his entire life anyways jesus fucking christ anyways what was your story that's that's such a bad thing. Holy shit. You can't just close on that. You can't just close on that, David.

What are you doing? After I contemplated ruining this kid's life. David, give us some examples of two of the words you could use to ruin this kid's life. On the podcast? Yeah, go for it. Oh, shit. How fucking bad are these? How loud is it? Why did your brain go there if it's so bad you can't say it on the fucking podcast?

Anyways, you just see children. No, you can't anyways your way out of this. I need fucking answers. I don't know. Something. I mean, I don't know. I could talk about. Was he there only with his mom?

It was his mother and his sister. I know a way you could ruin his life. And there was an old couple too. Oh no. There was an old couple in there with us, yeah. You know how to ruin his life? Throw his mom out of the fucking gondola. That's not two words!

What are you talking about? You could say Hasta La Vista after it. I could ruin this kid's life in two words, by murdering his mother. I sound like a fucking maniac. Oh, my God. Just put your head on his shoulder and say, this is because of the divorce, isn't it? Oh, my God. What? he's only

with his mom right oh my god I need new co-hosts yo I'm clean oh Avery there was also that one time it was me you Greg and Ahmad and a couple of old people and they were really asking questions

like and they kept pressing on oh yeah what is your job what do you do what do you do yeah and i was i'm uh audio engineering and then you were like oh i'm a writer and then eventually like you just crack what do you what do you write for and i'm like oh i do you just write writing it's like oh you do you like uh like a stand-up you write for television eventually it was just cracked and he was like i i i short films i do no i did not think short films how dare you what did you say i just said i, I just said, I do like, I do videos on YouTube. I do videos on YouTube. Yeah. And then, but then immediately as if on cue, I don't know.

Okay. I don't know how many people have tried. I'm assuming not many that are listening to this podcast have tried to explain doing YouTube for a living. It is incredibly difficult to anyone over the age of let's say like 28 even like it is so fucking hard but hang on hang on david try and explain doing youtube for a living to me and i'm gonna i'm gonna i want you to experience what it's like so like you make funny hahas no no you explain doing youtube to me oh you want a serious thing? Yes. Okay. So I write scripts.

I film myself doing the scripts. There's like comedy reviews. Wait, am I you? Am I you? You're me. Yes. Continue. We're role playing.

Okay. Hang on. I'm going to be David. Is that a goblin noise? Okay, hang on I'm gonna I'm gonna be David Okay, that's me What is happening are we switching I'll be you I don't want you to be Cameron you be me Wait, well, you know me too well to be me wait am I the am I the youtuber am I the youtuber or am I the you're the youtuber now just okay fucking channel your inner internet celebrity never mind you already is

you don't need to channel it are you focusing your energy are you finding your cheek he's releasing his chakras becoming super saiyan so I write reviews for video games, and I post them to YouTube, and I have, like, a small following. So, it's like, is it like television? You do it for television? In a way, but you can watch whatever you want, whenever you want, instead of having to adhere to a schedule. Okay, but... Here's my URL, by the way. But who pays you?

But who pays you? Well, uh, they run ads on my videos, and a bunch of idiots, uh, give me free money, and, uh... Okay, so, wait, no, no, no, hang on, where, where, where do the ads? The ads go on the video. Where? Uh, in front of the video, like, uh, like a commercial break, but at the start only. Only at the start? only the start okay well some people like to do it for the metal how ads uh have you uh why do you have bad english too but but who pays you where does um i get money from the ad company they uh they give me money to

but where where where uh Into my bank account? Are you fucking retarded? You're no longer just an old person. You're just stupid. But where does the money come from? No! No, Cameron. I have explained this. Stop breaking fucking character! Wait, are you a woman? Are you a man? What are you, Avery?

I'm a man-woman. Yo, wait, Avery, how old are you? And give us a description of what you look like real quick. I am fucking 60. How dare you? You're 60? Are you a man or a woman? Yo, wait, Avery, how old are you? And can you give us a description of what you look like real quick? I am fucking 60. How dare you? You're 60? Are you a man or a woman? I'm 48.

And my birthday is next Tuesday. Please be nice. What color hair? Please be nice. Please be nice to me. It's like, it's brown, but there's some gray in there. Okay, okay. And you're a woman?

What the fuck is happening? My man or a woman? Does it matter uh yes can i join can i join yeah no you can join in the conversation okay david you also ask questions okay you also try and no david you are you are the friend of the youtuber you are also going to try and explain it to me okay uh so you're ask questions, you fucking old fart? Where does the money come from? Motherfucker, piece of shit. You fucking pussy. Do you not fucking understand? The Googles, they pay us.

Oh, my word. The Googles, they pay us, dude. Yo, you're just part of my entourage, you fucking idiot. I'm bringing you up. I'm going to fucking break you. I'm going to fucking break you. We're part of team 11 That's 10% of my fucking money

You can't Oh my god I'm the man I'm your audio engineer I can fucking explain it Better than you You fucking Do you know how many

Audio engineers there are You fucking idiots Oh god I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I own the YouTube game I own it Scene

What just happened That derailed so fast That was That was I own the YouTube game! I own it! Scene! What just happened? That derailed so fast. That was, that was, we didn't even get rolling. Like, Cameron,

you're never invited to meet with us in person. I'm scared of you. Am I just a part of Cameron's entourage? I guess so, yeah. No, but it's, it's impossible. It's basically impossible to explain

because no matter how many times you explain where the money comes from they will never understand where the money comes from have you tried explaining like oh well if people click on the ads then it's showing engagement like more than Cameron

you lost him dude even I know it doesn't work. But, like, if you, like, just ask them, like, oh, so where do you think the money comes from on TV, then? Like... They're not going to know. They're idiots. They don't know.

They're going to ask... They would ask the same questions if I did TV. Actually, no, they probably wouldn't, because TV was around when they were kids, so they just assume, oh, the money factory gives... What? We just say that next time. We're like, the money trees.

They give boxes of money to the tallies. Actually, the best way would be like, oh, well, they take some of your tax and they just give it to me. Oh, my God. That's brilliant. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm technically a government employee. I get a lot of benefits.

Just try and enrage them as much as possible. Oh Oh my God. Yeah, I'm technically a government employee. I get a lot of benefits. Just try and enrage them as much as possible. Oh my God. That's actually great. The worst part was for some reason they kept pressing on that we should collaborate together. And you just said, I actually pay. Oh, I said. You just. I was like, oh, he works for me.

I actually. That's what I said. No, you didn't say that. You said, I was like, oh, he works for me. That's what I said. No, you didn't say that. You said, I actually pay him. And then you specified he works for me. And they just looked so fucking baffled. They were like, what the fuck? Wait, you actually told them that?

Yeah, I told them he works for me. Because he does. Yeah, he does. And they asked so many questions. Oh my god. actually told him that yeah i told them he works for me because he does yeah he does and they they they ask so many questions oh my god yeah they were question machines they were like oh so you guys like friends from college and we were like we said yes yeah at first we were like yeah we are yeah and then they're like oh so what what college is this they start, they ask me, I'm like, they look at David first, and David's like, I graduated in Canada.

And they were like, oh, so you all went to Canada? And I was like, no. And then they then turned to fucking Ahmad, and Ahmad's like, oh, I go to a community college in California. And they're like, oh. And then they look at me, and I'm like, I go to community college in California. And they're like, oh.

And then they look at me and I'm like, I dropped out. And then they ask Greg and he's like, I'm not in college yet. And it was just, they got stuck. You guys are such a rag-tag group of guys. Dude, fucking the best college friends.

We were all roommates. Yeah, we all roomed in fucking Iowa so we could have the same fucking commute yeah the center of all that shit but honestly though one thing i'm still not used to that's not related to like hard to explain things is telling everyone that you that you all met through the internet and yeah that's where you're all that and then that's what we had to explain i was like uh so we're not actually college and then they're like oh so where did you meet we were like the internet and they were like that works that's right the old man kept kept looking at us like that works i don't know how does that work did you, so it was just like you met in like a chat room? Skype?

Chat room? They just kept saying Skype? It was like, yeah, Skype. Repeating the words Skype and chat room. What the fuck? I think Ahmad was like trying his hardest to make it harder for them. To die? Yeah. No, because he kept being like, no, no actually we don't use this or no actually no no yeah it was like amad please stop yeah i'm on such a fucking troll like that and now i'm i

was like actually no we don't use skype anymore we use discord and they're like yeah really why would you like the specifics matter yeah fucking amad so speaking of Ahmaud in gondolas there was one day where Ahmaud and I headed back to it was like the last full day we were there you guys were hanging out in town you went shopping but Ahmaud and I wanted to go ahead and head back to the house and like get cleaning early

I remember that yeah it was just me and Ahmaud and we get on this gondola and it's like fucking sick. We have a gondola to ourselves. We can talk shit about David. As the doors are about to close, this like 50

something year old woman just sprints up and like jumps into the gondola with us. It's like, oh, hello. That alone is already uncomfortable enough but then she immediately starts talking to us um and uh i'm on there trying to have a conversation because we we uh the day before we went to another town in colorado and we all got uh cigars or most of us got cigars. And so we were talking about,

uh, we were talking about smoking cigars, but we were just saying smoke. And then, uh, Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

It's going to be, oh my God. It's Colorado. So no, no, no. And then, but then,

uh, and then Ahmad said something like, ah, like, and I was like, ah, it might rain tonight again. And then I don't knowmaud said something like oh like and i was like oh it might rain tonight again and then i don't know what we're gonna do and i was like even if it is still gonna we can still smoke and then she just pipes up and then goes i know you kids it doesn't matter what's happening you'll find a way to smoke it anyways

yeah no no and then and then we weren't even like she was like joking like oh my god oh my god that's amazing yeah no no and then we weren't even like she was like joking like haha funny like haha weed but um and then Ahmad like it didn't register for either of us until then that it sounded like we were talking about smoking weed yeah and then Ahmad and I both went

oh no actually uh we uh the two of us like we don't we don't actually we don't we, we don't, we don't smoke weed. And we're talking about, we're talking about cigars. And she's like, oh, okay. Perfect. No, no, no. You missed.

No, no, no. Awkward avoidance. No, she said, okay. And then there's like, there's like five seconds of just complete silence. And it's like, you could cut the silence with a fucking knife. It's thick. It's thick of just complete silence. And it's like, you could cut the silence with a fucking knife. It's thick. It's thick,

meaty silence. And then she just kind of like, she's like nodding and she's looking at the two of us. And then she just looks over and she says, it's evil. Oh my God. And then, and this is the long gondola because there are two gondolas

and this is the long one yeah and amand i just immediately lock eyes and we're like oh that's actually amazing and then so and she was like i was i was i was i was i was you know i was around in the 70s i know all about it i know it's evil. And we were just like, we don't... Ma'am. Oh my fucking god. We're not on the reefer, ma'am. Please. Holy shit.

We just had to play it cool. Like, yeah, no, we, the devil, you know? It's the green devil. And you were brought immediately back to Texas in that moment. Yeah, it was like I was home. I felt so at home. First it's the I'm all wet

guy, now it's the... I don't know what it is. What is wrong with you? It's you. I'm cursed. David, you... Okay, so I found out that David speaks fucking voodoo while we were in Colorado. What?

And I'm pretty sure he put a fucking hex on me. I know. He's fucking shouting at me in Creole about stinky pussy or whatever. That's true. What did you fucking say? You did. I'm not teaching young impressionable podcast listeners. David. What? Put a hex on the listeners, please.

Just say one of the phrases. Don't you have to explain it. Just say one of the phrases. Okay, wait a sec. I'm so scared. Yeah, it's fucking that shit. He said that three times with some of his own blood over Avrian. I'm cursed to be put with people who have no idea how to behave socially

in situations with strangers with stinky pussies. That's all. That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. I like how David started explaining like the stinky pussy Creole like in the cab like with the people based on the words and phrases that David knows how to say in Creole I have a theory

about why he knows how to say them because David knows how to say disgusting pussy and urinary tract infection oh my god which makes me think that in the backwoods of Louisiana which was the last time he was in

don't make people think that in the backwoods of Louisiana, which was the last time he was in... Don't make people think that! In the backwoods of Louisiana, David found some voodoo hut. Oh my god. He fucked some gross pussy. Avery! And he cut a urinary tract infection. Fucking! It adds up!

I'm just saying. Fucking TV! I'm just saying. That is the most reasonable conclusion I can draw from the things that you know how to say in Creole. The most reasonable. What's the least reasonable?

I don't know. He smoked weed and the devil got in him. Why do you think he has a goblin's face? Quick question. What is Creole? I've never heard that term before hi it's haitian it's haitian yeah yeah okay it's just the language yeah yeah it's based on french okay which is why i know just a bit of it yeah you know you know just a bit of it. Just enough to say gross pussy urinary tract infection. Just enough creel. Just point and just say that at the fucking like the other hut next door. That you have to rush to. The hut. Jesus.

You're in the backwoods of Louisiana. My entire family's from there. I can say that shit. Oh my god. Wow. Okay. We got personal. Yes, how are you guys doing? Wow. Okay. We got personal. Yes, how are you guys doing?

Disclaimer, Avery has no family from Louisiana. That's not true. Really? My entire family is from Louisiana. Oh, no, dude. How dare you? You're not from Louisiana. How dare you? Who do you think you are? But I feel like even

Texas has to be better than Louisiana. Oh yeah, it is. I made a map recently of all of the states of the United States, but described as varying degrees of Texas and Louisiana, because that's what they are. Louisiana is Texas New Game Plus.

God damn. That's a pretty good one. I think that was pretty safe of you. Yeah. That was gentle pretty good one. I think that was pretty safe of you. Yeah. Yeah. That was gentle. How we- wait, quick question, how are we doing? I don't know where to- I don't know how- I don't know where to go from here. How- how we do- no, this would- I don't know how we get off this. This would be a great time for an ad read.

This would be a great time for an ad read. Ad read, excuse you? Today's episode- Do you have an ad read to whip out? Today's episode is brought to you by Strychnine. Odourless, tasteless, slip it in a drink. Oh my god! What the fuck? Oh my god!

Wait, can you get that written out for me real quick? Can you just do that again? Who are we sponsoring that with? Yo, while we're advertising terrible products, today's episode of the Please Stop Talking Podcast was brought to you by Loot Crates. Whoa! Yo, that's worse than my Rooster Teeth comments. Come on, dude. Whoa! You don't need to say that.

I'm not comfortable right now. I'm just going to keep my relations with Rooster Teeth on the side from you guys. I love Rooster Teeth. And my relations with Loot Box. relations with Rooster Teeth on the side from you guys. I love- And my relations with Loot Box. I love Versatation. Hey, Rooster Teeth, Ruby sucks! No!

I have a question for you guys. Go ahead. If you are what you eat, what, like, main dish would each of us be? Hmm. Uh, I was about to say, I feel like, you know,

the you are, you're asking because you know your answer. No, I know my answer to Avery's. Oh no. That's, that's like targeting him. I feel very,

I feel very much targeted right now. Are you going for subscribers too like what's your wait okay you're can we talk about what david said before we started recording this podcast what did i say i don't remember what i said i'm scared you aren't famous oh my god okay remember what that was in response to. Okay, wait a sec. Yeah, no, I have that recorded. I'll insert that into the YouTube version because I have to upload those. Okay. Insert clip here.

I feel bad. He got a new microphone, so that's probably what he wanted to ask you about. Oh, well, I feel- What a douche cunt you are. Yeah, well, I'm famous. I'm really- hang on a second, I have sound right now. Done. Wow. Done.

Nicely done. Anyways, I say that Avery would be a breakfast sandwich from Sonic. What? Yeah, based on if you are what you eat. I've literally never eaten that oh Actually eat it to be Every you wouldn't you know what I would say for you No You know what I would say for you. No! What are you saying? Chicken and waffles for my hub!

Oh yeah, chicken and waffles for my hub. That's fair. You eat a lot of chicken and waffles? Dude, chicken and waffles are fucking great. I'm from the south. How dare you? He literally only eats chicken and waffles. I only had chicken and waffles once.

That's not true. I do not only eat it. His diet is chicken and waffles. That's all he can afford. Chicken and waffles and hate is what fuels me. Kyle's in and out because he's from California. Ooh, that's fair enough. I'd rather say Chick-fil-A.

Yeah. Because he hates the gays. I hate more Chick-fil-A than in and out. Because you're racist and you hate the gays. Because you're a fucking homophobe. Learning a lot about Kyle. What is Cameron? But I love Rooster Teeth, so, you know. Actually, what is Cameron? But I love Rooster Teeth, so, you know. Actually, what is Cameron?

I always thought that Cameron just... Cameron's a kangaroo because he hates Australians. Cameron's what? Because he hates Australians? He hates kangaroo every day because he hates Australians. It's a big misconception that New Zealanders hate Australians. We don't. We just think we're better.

We don't. No, you don't hate Australians. You're like the French people of the oceanic people Not like the New Zealanders. That's okay. I'm like second-hand offended for Cameron right now. How dare you Why is it the French people are always the worst like French Canadians French people? God nice French people you just named her nice groups dude that's all you really need to list that's all you really need to list it's a whole spectrum

I feel like every episode of this podcast is just about shitting on French people to be honest we got David though that's fair enough David's the bastion I'm sorry I'm the bastion? well shit

Cameron what are you What do you eat What the fuck are you dude What would you say What food are you David's a goblin I'm chick-fil-a What are you I eat goblins

I'm a goblin I don't know I eat goblins. I'm a goblin. I eat goblins. I don't know. I have eaten a lot of roast chickens and pizza. It's like a God, could you be more

fucking boring? No, that's a better that's a better resume than what I have, honestly. Resume? Are you applying for what are you applying for? Can I be poutine? Can I be poutine? for can i be poutine can i be poutine

everything i want to be poutine i'm poutine you're already a goblin i'm a poutine goblin oh my god poutine goblin goblin oh that's me oh boy that's that's a new nickname that is poutine why is that okay so i want to say something really quick david saved that for the podcast what the yeah saved that question for the podcast and that was the conversation we had he said you were the fucking sonic sandwich and then what like he was confused by like he realized that you had to actually eat it was Was that supposed to be a burn? I don't understand what you were trying to say there. Like, where did you get the Sonic sandwich? Because I ate one and it was disgusting.

So Avery was there for it and he eats a lot? No, I wasn't even there! It's okay, guys. He's famous. I'm famous. It's okay. He's famous. It's fine. Don't worry guys. We got a fucking internet

celebrity here with us. Get out of jail free card is David's fame. You asked a question that you didn't even know the fucking context was. You didn't understand your own question that you saved for the podcast. I feel very insulted every time we do the podcast.

I feel insulted that you saved that question for us. Honestly. I feel insulted for the audience that you saved that question for them. The question was fine. The answer was wrong. Was the question fine? Did we have an interesting conversation based off of it?

More than okay. What were you going to say then? What were you going to say?? What were you going to say? What was I going to say? It was your question. It was your question. Why is it suddenly my fault? Okay.

What if I didn't have the question? What would you talk about? Huh? Let's talk about that. We're not in the podcast. We're like an hour in. We're not an hour in at all. We're 50 minutes in, David.

Oh, my God. Well. We didn't take a deep breath. Reset. We're not an hour in at all! We're 50 minutes in, David! Oh my god! We didn't take a deep breath. Reset. Who did that? This episode is brought to you by Strix9. Stop! Ugh. I'm gonna have to look that up real quick.

No you what? Why? Oh my god. Let me just... Are we really doing it? Highly toxic, colorless, bitter, crystalline, alkaloid. Used as a pesticide. Oh, nice.

We did it. Dude, we have good sponsors. Who got us that sponsor? Cameron. Dude, Cameron. Dude, we have good sponsors. Oh my god. Who got us that sponsor? Cameron. Dude, Cameron. I have connections. Yeah, dude. Oh, dude, Cameron does have...

Should we talk about Cameron's connections? No. Or should we save that for another podcast? Yes. Save that for another podcast. No, no, no, no. No, we're already far... We're already...

Oh. Yeah. Oh, those connections. Yeah, save that. What did you think I... What? I don't know. I thought you guys were going to talk about some illegal shit I didn't know about.

The only Kyle knows about? I thought you were going to talk about some illegal underground drug cartel that he was in or something. The only... I told you. The closest thing to that that I can think of is when Cameron was like, if we're going to tell drunk stories on the podcast, I don't want to implicate any of my friends, so I'm going to do something really fucking stupid tonight.

That's pretty good. That's in the podcast. Are we working on that same? That's in the podcast. I think so. I want to plug something really quick before we end. I was, I was, I did a collaboration with a friend of mine nick cloud cuckoo country on youtube he did he's doing a second thing of a series he does called book burnings

on youtube where he does sort of a similar style of review to me but for books because he's qualified and not retarded um so uh if you like my videos if you want to see me read a published book that has owl sex scenes in it then you should go check them out youtube.com country come on why do you always clap on other people's videos reading owl sex scenes man i listen i didn't ask for it i didn't ask for it i've been approached for it twice now okay but yeah there will be a link to that in the description of the youtube version and maybe Listen, I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for it. I've been approached for it twice now, okay? But yeah, there will be a link to that in the description of the YouTube version and maybe the other versions, David? If I send you the link, can you add it?

Yes. You're the one who writes the description, you fucking idiot. How dare you? Wow, way to description expose. All right, I think we're good. I think we're done. So, shall we do all the plugs? Plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, a description exposed. Alright, I think we're good. I think we're done. So, shall we do all our plugs? Plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs.

Wait, no! First, rate us on iTunes so we can... Oh, yeah. Please rate us on iTunes so that we can be Fiatored. Please rate us on iTunes. It helps, I swear. It does help. Okay, wait. It helps because it keeps us on the charts.

Yes. Please rate us on iTunes. That's very important. Podbean podcast box. Link will be in the description, right? For the iTunes. Podman, Podson, Podfamily. Also, don't forget to click our Amazon Associates link if you want to support the channel.

The link that is your country is down there there's every flavor and me flavor u.s and okay okay well isn't it also uk no because amazon uk declined for some reason they declined true we don't have a uk person. The exact, listen, the exact I'll be right on it. The exact same, like, we did the exact same thing, like, exact copy of the

application, but they were just like, nah, fuck this one. Yeah. I don't know, why was I going Russian with that? Anyways, let's stop insulting the people who pay us. Okay, so...

I think that's it, yeah, so plug our shit. Cameron first. David first! Cameron first! Okay, David first! I'm at SuperSneakSheep on Twitter, you can find me there. I don't usually tweet, but maybe I will. He retweets pictures of New Zealand so that people will stop thinking he's Australian.

And reply to Avery in usually condescending ways. It's great. Yeah, generally. I'll do that too, but I'll do it. At SirZulu underscore. And sometimes tweet at other friends and try to be more active. Okay. And then David

I'm on Twitter at Sermiao Music and on Twitch at Sermiao Music I'm currently streaming Persona 5 so and on SoundCloud plug your fucking music Sermiao Music let me finish what I was saying

you fucking asshole Jesus I'm on SoundCloud and Spotify at Sermiao Music Let me finish what I was saying, you fucking asshole. Jesus. I'm on SoundCloud and Spotify at SermiaoMusic and Sermiao. Okay. I am on Twitter at ShammyTV. Also Twitch and YouTube. But you... ShammyYT, Shammy...

Fuck you. Wow, the pronunciation on YouTube is the worst of this. Got it this got it we just uploaded alt f12 to this channel so let us know what other type of videos you guys would like to see on this channel outside of podcasts outside of compilations

if you'd like to see any who do you think you are Kyle thank you for watching thank everyone for watching thank you for listening new episode next week assuming no one dies for watching. Thank you all for watching and listening. Thank everyone for watching. Thank you for listening. New episode next week, assuming no one dies. We swear. Hopefully. We'll try. Collect the

jar of horror!