Please Stop Talking - I'm Stinky Today (feat. Brendaniel) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

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There's a few little tiers in there with rewards and things such as being able to ask a question for the Patreon Q&A or naming an NPC for our D&D campaign. And even if it's $1 or $2, it helps like crazy. Check it out at patreon.com slash Sermia Music. That's Patreon.com slash Sermia Music. And now on with the show. I coughed because I have to just keep fucking drinking coffee and shitting myself. Do you think speaking of cough, do you think the Franz Kafka's metamorphosis would have

been better if he didn't turn into a bug and he turned into something else like a pair of socks? Why a pair of socks? Like are we talking worn socks, sweaty socks, wet, dry? No, I was just postulating. I was just throwing it out there. Like what do you think would be the funniest thing for somebody to turn into in a Franz Kafka novel if they were metamorphosizing?

Pair of Kings starring Mitchell Musso. Beyblade. I like Beyblade. I like Beyblade a lot actually. Well, wait, wait, wait. Are you a bit beast? Can you have a bit beast? Are you like, are you the Beyblade or are you the bit beast?

You are the Beyblade. Yeah, but what kind of metaphor or allegory would it represent if you turned into a Beyblade? How capitalism just makes us go in circles. Never truly escape me. Whoa. Actually, it would be him saving his marriage because he would look at his wife and say, you spin me right round, baby, right round, and she'd let it rip. That's so true.

And then she'd play with the Beyblade afterwards. You solve the human experience. Why are we starting with TF? I don't know dude. I was just trying to think of how do I- What's the funniest thing? I was just trying to make conversation. Well the minute I heard Beyblade I thought what's the funniest way to work like a fart joke into this and then nobody reacted so like I just have to kind of deal with that one.

Why would we do a fart joke? That's like the lowest common denominator joke. We would never make a fucking fart We did literally me when I am the lowest common denominator. I make fart jokes all the time I'm one of one there. I am also the lowest car. I'm gonna be honest, dude I don't I think farts are the fucking funniest shit ever man If I watch a video and all of a sudden it just like stops abruptly for a farting sound brother. I'm on the floor I'm slapping the walls. I'm laughing. It's kind of crazy how in terms of like farts Nobody has scientifically boiled it down to what makes a fart joke funny. And when does it stop being funny? They don't yeah

Actually, well, no, no, no, no, no because and I'm talking about like this is less akin to Media and more akin to like in real life. When is a fart funny and when does it stop being funny? Like you have to factor in length of time, smell and noise. Okay. Are you talking like somebody actually in front of you farting? Yeah. Like, like, yeah, parts are funny in general. Are you saying like, if somebody starts farting and how long until it becomes worrisome instead of funny? Is that what you mean?

It's less that and more embarrassing and worrisome. And then does it wrap back around to oh god. It's funny again I feel like you want do you want the medical perspective on that? Yes So In a hospital setting we love when people fart because it is a good thing for the most part because it shows that their bowels are working so especially post-op if someone toots they're good to go okay but like i've had times where uh like i've had to you know roll certain patients to clean them or whatever and i remember one in particular we we had like move someone and they just for it had everything

when you're working with someone always feels longer than it actually is. So when actuality was like five to maybe six seconds felt like an eternity, I just heard. And then this old man, this old man, this old man went, oh, my, I'm stinky today. So the answer is it's always funny and nobody will ever get sick of it. I'm yeah, no, actually. Okay. But like then if we're talking about like, it has to be like 10 seconds is like, Oh God,

I think you factor in length, smell, sound, but you also need to factor in environment into the equation because it's dependent. A fart is funny in a hospital like that, like in a hospital setting like that, but what if you're trapped in an elevator and somebody does the same thing? Even funnier, what are you talking about?

Then you gotta murder them. You gotta straight up beat the shit out of them. See, exactly, it's more of a social faux pas. No, I would just start laughing so hard. That's awful. At the heart of it, it's like, that's what is supposed to make farts funny is that they are a social faux pas

and it's always like silly because it's just like a stupid sound that we all make but there are certain social scenarios you're not supposed to fart in. Dude, I wanna get rid of that stigma, bro. Well, there are social scenarios you're not supposed to fart in where farts are funny and then where they aren't elevator not funny. You're gonna die church funeral hilarious

Even though it should not be I say funeral blame it on the dead person exactly the thing is funerals It's impossible not to have farts because it's just full of old people. I thought you'd say have fun to have farts because it's just full of old people. I thought you were going to say have fun. Speaking of ass claps, welcome to the podcast. It's collapsed, but this time it's layered with loud, nasty, wet farts. You could have just said braps. You know that video that's, well, is it like Nerf this? It plays like the really loud wet fart over it. Yeah, that's my glass. You just this? It plays like the really loud wet fart over it. Yeah, that's my glass. You just have like, you have the clives mixed in with that fart.

Remember some, when we put out that one episode of the podcast, when I, when I said like, oh, I think, I think that it's the funniest shit. Farts are the funniest shit ever that I hide them in people's videos that I'm working on. Somebody was like, farts are not fucking funny. Billy is the least funny because he thinks farts are funny. And I was like, you fucking loser. You dumb bitch. Farts are literally so funny.

Motherfuckers who think farts aren't funny are the same type of people who will not read a book but watch a video essay on the book, but then act like they're an expert on the book. Same type of person. Oh, fucking real, real, real. They're the type of people to fucking grab pigeons in the street and start shaking them around. I don't know about that. Yeah, they'll start shaking them around until they start panicking. Billy, I don't know about that one. For what money? No, I was more so talking about like a shared sense of pseudo intellectualism that leads to I am above fart humor because I'm more than human. Not like I don't like fart humor

because all of the birds I pick up in the middle of the street fart on me whenever I pick them up, so I fucking hate it. They get me really mad. They make me so fucking mad. I walk around and I hustle the birds on the street like Mr. Shake Down. Dude imagine you like pick a bird up you throw it on the ground it explodes money like y'all cuz it's zero i turn birds in the coin here's five ways to take hgh to become even larger you could never fucking stop me from grabbing birds from the street if all of a sudden grabbing a bird which are fake by the way so because they're robots oh don't do that we don't need to hear that birds are fake shit don't bring that into this my buddy my buddy in college was the one who brought that up to me.

Yeah, leave that on bark social, please. Yeah, please. Well, then we'll leave that on our millennials, please. How the fuck do they drop coins then from their organs? What are they shitting gold now? We're going to use it to buy things from the vending machine. They're thirsty. I mean, they got a coin acre, don't they?

Oh, no. The first ever recorded joke is actually a fart joke in 1900 BC. Was it on one of those wax cylinders? Because I'm a big fan of wax cylinders. Dude, let's test this gramophone and then you just shit and you guys ever heard like the first recording ever and it's really fucking horrifying because it sounds like ghosts. I don't think they had gramophones in 1900 BCE but do you think Ian the seer farted and that's why people didn't like him not the copper thing but more so he was just fucking blasting straight ass around his shop. Who are you talking about? Ian the seer. It's the guy they were talking mad shit on that uh receipt for. He was he was a copper merchant right the first event post that

was those don't inscribe in general be like no that was genuinely like what people used to do back in the day just like I'm so fucking pissed right now I'm just gonna write this on a big thing in in ancient Pompeii like people would graffiti on the sides of buildings much like they do now. But it was like kind of an accepted form of communication back then. So they would write like the reviews of the city and they would also just talk mad shit to each other. It was basically just their version of like Discord slash Twitter.

I'm the happiest to know that the more things change, the more they do. We've been doing this for like we've been doing this forever. It's just that nowadays we're all connected so we can all see it at the same time instead. It's like we never change. I like the idea of people taking social media breaks back then. Because imagine like you're in ancient Pompeii and you're like, dude, I gotta stop going down that alley. I just look at the wall and I get fucking mad and then the volcano explodes. You turn to ash.

Oh no. I'm just imagining somebody in standing, somebody is standing in front of the wall and they're like, oh, sorry, you're not verified. You need to check mark first. You need to carve the check mark next to it. You'll have to pay in coin brother. Yeah, you have to carve the check mark next to it.

You're going to have to pay for that one. And only this guy knows how to do it. We got to start doing that shit again. Just like carve, like, I don't know, like really long, oh, what the fuck fuck call out posts on people's cars just with your key I think that if you have a vent channel in a discord before you post the vent you are required to post it like a 10 second video of you touching grass physically and then you can go into the vent among us. Yeah That's not funny. Not funny.

Speaking of like social faux pas, give me give me your opinion on this one. OK, because I already Mike already knows because Mike was there. I was on the I was on the subway going to Montreal and I've never seen this in my life. This dude was like picking his nose, right? But he was like fucking knuckle deep and just like all like Stephen King. Yeah, the excavator. I've deadass never seen anybody go knuckle deep in their fucking nose. And moan itch. He was he was like going, oh,

oh, when you describe this to me and you said moan, he didn't do that. I just thought he was on the subway. No, he was like, you know, he was was like, no, he was like, no, he was like, no, he was like, no, he was like, no, and just going, no, not like that. More like more like like full moanin. No, it was just like, I guess he was like scratching and it was like he hit the goods. The spot. He was like, it probably could get in the way.

He's chasing it. He Minecraft villager emoted at you. You looked like him too with his big fucking schnaz. You was like, whoa. Whoa. Can't say that. Wait, is schnaz not okay to say? No, schnaz is fine.

I was just saying. You just cannot say this man on the subway looks like the Minecraft villager cuz it's fat fucking nose No, it just looked like he just had a big nose. I I didn't think that you're the weird one. You're racist Oh, yeah, no, I was I was literally thinking the entire time Unrelated to that. I was thinking god. He must be getting good brain You know what? The worst part is like bro was like sitting down while like knuckle deep in there The the old lady right next to him was just staring right next to him Just fucking staring at him picking his nose and she was just like

Entranced it was so fucking she wanted some of that. I wanted some of that. Yeah I was gonna say and then she was like mind if I get a pic You know, my husband used to be a prospector. You don't mind if I help you dig for gold, do you? What are you even trying to dig in a nose? I mean, it's, it's a comment. It's a comment saying you're digging for gold up there. Oh, no, I've, I've heard that one. It's just, it's more like, what are you, what are you actually looking for in there? You know,

Guy's got a deviated septum. He's trying to fix it. He's doing an at-home lobotomy on the train lobotomy I guess I guess it's better than an ice pick. Yeah, it's better than going to claire's and getting it done I got my lobotomy at claire's and i've never been the same I got I got circumcised at claire's and I got was this dumb shirt I actually got my ears pierced at fucking Claire's equivalent. Oh me too. My holes closed and because one of them is like pierced at an angle so nothing fits anymore and

I just have loose skin and I'm like oh that's cool I need to go to a real piercer and pay another another second round of holes. Yeah the same thing happened on my circumcision They they did it at an angle now. You have loose skin it closed The phimosis is taking over It in mind while I was in the baby vacuum I hate I like i'm I don't have any memories of that moment, but i'm still peeved They did that shit when I was in the baby vacuum. Oh, I I got so confused

I thought it was like an actual baby vacuum in a hospital or some shit, dude. I, dude, I know. What? What do you mean? I mean what we do? You do use vacuums for like births in the hospital. Yeah. I was in the baby tube. Wait, really? What? Yeah. It's, it's called, it's a vacuum assisted birth. It's just like a thing you attach to the baby's skull and like something like one of the machines Dude suck my dick. This is not a lie. Literally. I took a test on this like a month ago Delivery what yes Complications is they'll have like blood pooling on like Oh my god!

They have a little blood pool on the top of their head and it can cause jaundice This image is amazing! Wait does it actually do that to their skull? No, it can't just go so It literally sucks it? Okay, it doesn't change the shape What's happening in the image is it's sucking the skin and since it's all soft

blood starts to pool up there. So what ends up happening is the blood that pools up there babies have an inability to like process Billy Ruben so cause they have an immature liver and so if blood starts pooling in there then the red blood cells

start to lice and die up there And when they do that Billy Rubin's released and normally that would be processed by your liver, but when it's not you get jaundice So you have to normally put them under a UV like lamp for like a few days if they do end up developing Jaundice babies are crazy man. We get ready. Yeah, do babies are fucking babies are fucking insane. Babies are fucking insane. Babies are absurd. We vacuumed its head too hard, put it in the grill lamp. Yeah, literally! Put it in the grill lamp!

Holy shit! This baby's too yellow, we gotta cook him more. Burn him over. That literally happened to me when I was a baby, not to vacuum, but I had to go into the baby tube because I was born early. I was very late. You the vacuum and I had to go into the baby tube because I was born early No, yeah, I was I was very late your damn slacker Billy. I was actually never that young I was born during a flood my dad had to siphon gas to get my mom to the hospital the power went out of the Hospital the backup generator failed and then they had the lifelike me to a hospital an hour and a half away

Born premature. They put me in the baby tube. I had a hole in my heart and the doctors were like, it just healed on its own. We don't know what the fuck happened. We didn't do anything but put him in the tube. Oh no, that happens all the time. That is very common. That baby just heals itself. Yeah. And then that's so weird because I was born during one of the biggest blizzards

and we've ever had in Quebec. My, my parents had trouble going to the hospital. Really? Holy shit. And then I was late and then my mom had to get a C-section because I was so late. Billy, I get why we're friends now. So weird. Why do we have so much involvement? This is no Billy. I get why we're friends. We're natural disasters.

Oh, opposites attract. You were you were early. I was late. I was just trying to pitch you a tanky name. I was cold flood, I guess. Natural disasters already taken. Yeah, but I'm going to put a Z at the end of it, so grow up, Mike. Oh, OK. Yeah, see? It's not trademarked if I use a Z.

I've been put in my place, I understand. And if we want to, we can call it a Zed. Oh, Natural Disaster Zed. When I was growing up, we would call it Dragon Ball Zed. And then I said that I don't know when on a fucking random discord or Skype call or whatever and I've never been more Absolutely destroyed. This is your version of Bob LePonge This is my Bob LePonge

I think about that all the time It's so fucking funny. I love Gary. What's the good word? Carlo le calamar. Oh. Does that make sense? Is that funny? Calamari. It's Calamari Carlo, basically. Oh, no, it's Carlo Tantacul. Eww! I don't know what you're saying. Eww!

I mean, that would just be what you said, but his last name. Okay, it is just Gary Lescargot. Or Gary Wilson Jr. That's his full name. What? Wait. Gotta find the picture of his driver's license stat. I got to check this. This is from season eight. Apparently his full name expanded universe. The recent creators of SpongeBob have also come out and said, we don't give a shit

about continuity anymore. Yeah. Have you seen the Patrick show? Because I've watched parts of the Patrick show and it just goes insane. Because it's got a lot of interesting weird mixed media like they do a lot of like really weird mixed media stuff with Patrick show where they do like live-action bits and claymation and different types of animation it misses more than it hits but it's an interesting experiment I think I didn't realize how many seasons there are there's they're like 15 right now that's

crazy SpongeBob Beyond for a while I thought that I kind of thought spongebob was over because they started doing the Patrick show No, they have three know they did the Patrick show and camp coral, but they just keep doing more spongebob Yeah, cuz it's like the only thing they get it's camp coral a thing still. It's not a thing anymore I don't believe I believe it got canceled. Yeah, I got two seasons in the day It's not a thing anymore. I don't believe I believe it got canceled. Yeah, I got two seasons in today Patrick shows weird though. It's basically a bunch of spongebob fans that are just given spongebob. Wait, so Patrick star show is good It's got some good moments in it. It's like a different it's like an AU spongebob or like Patrick lives with his family and spongebob and Like Squidward and those guys are still in there, but they did have bubble baths dressed up like Doug Walker once so that's I got that going for them. I do remember that part. I saw on Twitter today

they did like a whole bit about like the Whatever you want to call the like beanmouth art style of like Steven Universe and stuff I'm like, oh, this is an interesting dig in current year They do a lot of weird stuff with the Patrick show because I think that nobody is watching them So they just do whatever with it from what I've seen. They're just fucking around. It's like late stage family guy where it's like who fucking cares anymore. They can just do whatever the hell they want nowadays. What the fuck? Bubble Bass piss on the floor?

Yeah. Oh baby. He did. He goode his lagoon. Bubble Bass in French is apparently boule de grue, which means lard ball. That's not even a pun or anything. That's not clever. You're just calling it a fat pun. That's it.

Yeah, that's it. Here comes fat ass. I mean, that is basically what bubble bass is in English. Bubble ass. Bubble ass, yeah. Is that what it's supposed to be? Yeah, it's supposed to be that because it's like your big fat ass with big bubble ass I thought bubble bass is a compliment I mean now nowadays it is understand

2000 or a different time they did not want fat asses they they did not want big butts and nobody was lying especially not the United States government or they about in those years then if they weren't about butts they were about movies with oh my god why is is it? Why why is Dane Cook in this movie? Get him out, please Oh god, somebody help me, please. Please help me Dane Cook universe Yeah, the Dane Cook at Ryan Reynolds showing up in every random college comedy Dane Cook being in romantic comedies He was in planes. I mean Ryan Reynolds shows up in fucking every random TV show nowadays. It feels like yeah, but Ryan Reynolds was Different back then like he was like Van Wilder

So it was like the oh I gotta be in the college movies and now he's like, hey everybody Deadpool Oh, you want to buy mint mobile? I might tequila that sucks. I'm compelled to buy mint mobile Yeah, you've swayed me. Will you buy his tequila? Mmm picture to me in a Ryan Reynolds voice, maybe. Hey there, bud. Holy shit. Have you ever heard about my freaking awesome tequila? Crazy thing is, it's really, really good.

And I swear to you, I don't have any hostages in my basement right now. They're not knocking on my door and nobody's trying to kill you or me. Don't worry about it. I'm not tying you to the radiator. You're gonna enjoy my tequila and you're gonna like it a lot.

You see, I'm funny and disarming. I don't drink. I'm Mormon. I'm not gonna lie. That was so fucking close. It was impressive. Very impressive. You are the SNL version of him. Oh, I thought you were gonna say I'm the essence of white because like that's how I think of myself as the default white guy. Oh, I thought you said essence of white. I thought you were gonna say like, I am the progenitor of all that is good in the world. Like if you saw me, well, I mean, if I was braised differently, I'd be saying that,

but like if you saw me out in the street, you would immediately say, oh, that guy loves Nintendo video games. And I've come to terms with that, I think. I think I agree with that. That's just cause you kind of wear shirts, like video game shirts. Cause you wear the Zelda shirt and the cargo shorts. Yeah, it's that. Wow. Don't you Northern Line posted me, buddy. I mean, you kind of do the what the fit is in Northern Line thing now.

Oh, the Northern Line has been talking about that. That's like a bit. Oh, fuck off. That's been the fit for like a decade. Everybody wears that. I don't think I don't think the gamer fit does it anymore, though. I don't think gamers do that anymore i think they're more cargo pants no they they don't go outside anymore they just groom people on discord now it's usually i think like i'm gonna go with like ultra kill shirt cargo pants chain wallet oh chain wallets and then hit him with the chuck taylor's likely i like that your fit is I'm going to commit identity fraud and impersonate fucking Dave Autry from New Blood. Fucking chain wallets, really?

Chain wallets, stupid art. I think I'm gonna go chain. I think chain wallets are gonna make a big comeback. I'm feeling it. Corbin, wait a minute, wait a minute. I just had a moment. Corbin, did you ever have a duct tape wallet? Oh yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, fucking no. I had a cold read there that just went off. Corbin like- Yeah, that was crazy. Paid $5 for it and had no money to put in the wallet. Oh yeah. I didn't want to make one, but some kid on my bus sold them. Oh, that was that a thing in the like, you weren't shit if you didn't have a duct tape wallet. Dude, those were hard.

It was just chain wallets for us. We had a kid in our school who had a, you would open up his locker and he had literally like a tailor's kit of different kinds of duct tape. He would sell the duct tape walls for like 10 bucks, but he had all different colors of duct tape. He had camo duct tape, uh, gold duct tape. He would just make you any wallet with his like suite of duct tapes. Then he got in trouble like six months later for selling monster out of his locker. So looking, looking at these, like some were pretty fucking cool.

No, they were nice. Like for being made out of duct tape. Yeah, I can see that. How I was seeing it was just the gray duct tape. You just take your money to duct tape and carry it around your pocket. Yeah. Yeah, why not? I remember trying to make these because I thought they were freaking epic and I had the material for it and I absolutely destroyed my daycare supply of tape to try making these.

I was never successful though. So shout out to those kids. It was either you were like the duct tape wallet kid or you had like the pens with the duct tape rows on the end of it. I don't know about that one. Have you guys never seen it? Yeah, I had one of those pens as well. Yeah, you really loved duct tape. Dude, what? Duct tape was over for like a clean three years. You guys never seen that? Yeah. I had one of those pins as well. Yeah. You really loved duct tape. Dude. Duck tape was over for like a clean three years.

I thought duct tape was like the coolest thing ever. I was the kid who tried to make his own card game with construction papers. Oh, I did that too. Oh, I mean everybody, everybody did that. Like, yeah, but mine was cool and it was called random. Oh, and it fuck. It was epic. Random. Oh, I think I've talked about that in the podcast before. It was stupid. Do you remember the rules of random-o-nium?

Yeah, it was item cards, monster cards, and magic cards. And then all of the cards were different sizes and shapes because it was random. And then there were also equipment cards. So you could like put, you could like draw a helmet and then put the helmet on the creature. Why don't you work for a fucking uh make make board game company?

Uh because of the means in which I was raised and born and the life that which I live. Holy fucking shit. Because I was not afforded the opportunities that other people are afforded. I had to build my first gaming computer in a cave out of scraps. He's about to quote he's about to quote the opening line of the great gats via you. Oh christ. I am everything and I am nothing at the beginning of the end. I become Brendal. No, no, no.

I remember mine was just like we wanted Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Masters monster. What the fuck? No, no, no. What's the dice dice dice? Dice monsters. Yeah, we made our we made our own like paper and cardboard dice to play like our own version of that, I guess. It was cool. Yeah, it was cool. You know how in the Great Depression, people wore dresses made out of chicken feed bags?

Yeah. Is that the equivalent of 2008, you had a duct tape wallet? Yes, a thousand percent the duct tape wallet is like the recession era Equivalent of like a Wall Street Bank or running around with a barrel like over him All I'm saying is invest in duct tape now, why don't we bring that back? I want to fucking walk around and see a barrel overall guy. That's honestly my problem with like, I feel like, uh, like pop culture fashion stagnation is like the current fit right now as

somebody, my wife works in the schools. It's literally sweatpants and like shirts and athletic shorts. And it's literally just like pajamas. Like the current kind of fashion trend is you don't, you've left home. It's like the Walmart fit from 10 years ago. Like you left home and you throw something on. It's like the Walmart fit from 10 years ago. Yeah. How many throw something on? He got it's the full depression fit like everybody's wearing gray. People are walking into the boring McDonald's.

I'm just saying if I was an eco terrorist, the first thing I would do is build parrot statues in front of all the McDonald's and make them lifeless, less lifeless again. OK, I'm sorry. I zoned out. What do you mean? I build statues in front of I would have like a chainsaw and a big log and I would make like totems in front of the McDonald's to make them have more color, more flavor, more spice, more life. Actually, I don't really I can't really picture it, but yeah. Because all the McDonald's look like banks. All the Taco Bells look like banks. All the Wendy's look like banks. I'm not I'm not picturing like your statue. I'm picturing like the cover.

Oh, you mean like when they turned into McCaffes or whatever the fuck their call. OK, I see what you mean. How they look boring now is like every fucking every every every highway or busy street in modern America or in the West in general is you take a picture of it. It looks like that one picture where it's just McDonald's, Wendy's, Carlock, Carlock, McDonald's, Wendy's strip mall, vape store. And I have like a mental image of you on the cover of FF7 with like a giant McDonald's where the Shinra plant is. You just have like a log over your back. Yeah. I'm fucking doing it, dude. I'm getting beefy and I'm going to just start doing it. I'm going to do, I'm going to do, uh, well, it wouldn't be terrorism per se,

but it would be eco art, I guess. I mean, I feel like it would be technically called vandalism. It'd be some kind of vandalism, but what if I put a bomb in the totem? It's like, uh, now we're, but what if I put a bomb in the totem? It's some kind of, it's like a- Okay, well now we're advancing. A bomb? Yeah, but like, I'm thinking- That's like terror.

We kind of went from vandalism to terrorists? I would tell, I would call the police and I would say, I've put a bomb inside of the totem, they open it up, boom, master of disguise. It's a box office bomb, actually. Get fucking chuckled. You're arrested. Yeah, I'm still arrested, 100%.

Yeah, you're not getting out of that one alive. Billy, what do you think about that as a catchphrase, by the way, I'm still arrested. A hundred percent. Yeah. You're not, you're not getting out of that one alive. Billy, what do you think about that as a catchphrase, by the way? I want your opinion. I'm Mr. Giggles. What did you say again? Get fucking chuckled. How do you feel about that? Get chuckled. Get fucking chuckled. Get fucking chuckled.

Yeah. How do you feel about that one? On a zero to 10? Can you use it in a phrase? Yeah, dude, I was, I was walking around and I saw this old lady and I pushed her in the middle of the street in a fucking truck Hit her get fucking chuckled idiot. I like it. I think it truck old Oh get truck old first I chuckle then I truck old then it becomes too niche Oh, you can only use it for some time

No, Brendan can use it all the time if he uses his cat as a summon No, actually like I've actually taking I'm going to be the antagonist of every easy guy I'm the one pushing them in front of the truck every time the one driving one day They'll go into another world they go into a world where instead of it being a corporate McDonald's with Brendan statue It's Brendan statue with a corporate McDonald's in front of it I'm Ronald McDonald now. I'm the clown and you're gonna chuckle everybody. Oh, speaking of actually, you spiked a mind thing. Did I tell you, Billy, that I found out my dad, his last name isn't his real last name?

Oh, please dox your father. No, I can't tell you the exact last. I'm not gonna dox him, but apparently he was talking to my mom recently, and he was really miffed because he had lost his house because he had not put the right last name, because his legal last name is different than the one we thought he had for all

of our lives. Right. And he was talking to my mom about like, why isn't my, why is it that my oldest son has your last name when he's not continuing the bloodline, you know, it's sort of shit where I'm like, yeah, I'm turning 32. I don't have kids cause I can't afford them. But he was like weirdly angry about it when I haven't talked to him in like 10 years. And so like just finding out that, yeah, the last name he has that my brother has, because my brother has what we thought was his last name, just isn't his last name at all.

How did that happen, though? How did nobody like at one point say that's not your last name and we can't give your child? Because there's some like weird legal thing he did when they were running from the cops and went to Arizona. There's some weird. I always forget. See, I always forget. There's always cops involved. Yeah. It was like, I was like three years old. My mom and my dad moved to Arizona to avoid a warrant. My dad found a way to like change his name. So when he came back and my brother was born,

like my brother took that last name because it's my grandpa's last name, but my grandpa wasn't my dad's real dad. But my brother still took the last name. So like it was just a whole weird thing. Apparently, when they were in Arizona, my mom told me they were just shooting a banny freeze. So does anybody in the crowd right now have like a Pepe Silvia type billboard like board where they're just fucking like trying to figure out what is going on? I like parse the information. I am fucking lost.

No, I got it. I got what you were saying. No, I mean, I get it, but not enough. My brother's last name is like an Irish last name. So like I'm McDonald's to Mick so-and-so. And so we just, for the longest- Your dad's Burger King? Yeah, well, basically dude, it's a German last name.

Apparently I'm more German than I thought I was. Okay. There's actually, apparently I never talked about this, but did you guys know that there's somebody like two years ago, they changed their middle name to be PST. What? Oh, I saw you post about this. I thought, I hoped it was a joke. They sent me the, their fucking papers and everything to prove it. And I was like, oh man. Can we send them a cease and assist strike that guy's name?

So he can't sign it or anything. Bless their bless their heart. I do feel bad to a degree because if they're at like a government office or something, do the government officials say like, well, like last names, you normally, whenever you sign it, you just initial never really say it. I like to think his middle name has like- There, please. I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Their middle name had like three parts to it. Like it's three actual names and then the abbreviation is just BST. I don't think so. I think it was like actually the middle name was- I mean a three part middle name would go fucking hard. That's like a musketeer's, what is it, like a Spanish like fencer type energy. I don't actually use Twitter anymore. So I don't know if they're still around,

but if you're still around and still listening, let us know. Do you regret it? How's that working out? How's that working out? Is it awkward? How did you explain that to anybody around you? I've changed my middle name to Cumtown. You guys got boring. Is Cumtown a podcast? Is that another podcast? Damn

We're losing ground I don't I because I can't think of another podcast that has like the fucking listener have have their Their title in the name and there's somebody's name someone walking around with the middle name of Bim Bam BAM BAM Yeah, my name is Jonathan Jonathan behind the bastard Stevenson. I'm just a really big fan. I had to change it. I mean, to be fair, I don't think they made it. Please stop talking.

I think they made it PST not please stop talking. Yeah, no, but even still like a three letter middle name with no vowels is interesting. The first when I heard it the first time, I was like, I was so worried about that because I didn't want more people to do it because I was like, Oh, that's like, that's like a thing you regret really quick. So I didn't want to talk about it on the show until like a few years later. And then I kind of just remembered it today. And I'm like, nobody's going to do that anymore, right? Nobody's going to like do a legal name change.

And you know what? I'm always like, you know, I think about it. They started thinking about it. This is the equivalent of OSW does. If some of the tattoo, they review their favorite shitty wrestlers because they realize they can't stop. Oh, what should we do if somebody does something for us? What should our bit be?

What do you mean? It's a PST tattoo or changes their middle name to PST. Oh, so what we should. OK, so you mean like if somebody gets a PST tattoo or name change, we need to do something for them now? Yeah, of course. Because they did that. Yeah. You want to incentivize parasocial relationships like this.

That's horrifying. I don't want to do that. I don't care. Just didn't do that? Give me a sec. I need to think about this one. Yeah, I mean, a bit. My idea is give us the worst improv prompt you can think of

and then we have to fulfill the obligation. You know what? You know what? Actually, I fucking love that. No, and it can be- You have to give us three choices so that we could at least true Still PST you can give us a prompt but you have to prove it because other we gotta see it

We gotta see a driver's license. Yeah, I'm not gonna fucking well, maybe not the full driver's license But like the part where it says your fucking your name and PSC and if you have PSD tattoo, just show it to me. Wait, I have a PSD tattoo. Do I? Yeah, I do. What a mark. What the fuck? It's my husband. Fucking hot dogging out there, looking at people pulling down your glasses, being like, so I'm a podcaster. It's on my chest. It's a PSD speaker that's that's like blowing. Yeah, it would be blood and gore.

Have you never seen this? Seriously? No, I've never seen this. I guess why would you see me? I'm working my way in. Yeah, see. Oh shit. Yeah, look at that. It's still you in the back. It's still me in the back.

I have a PST tattoo. Do I get a PSD tattoo. Do I get a prompt or go for it? Wait now? Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. On the spot. Let's do some high school level improv here.

Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm just gonna keep saying no. Okay. Okay. No, I would never do that. So you guys are part of a crew that cleans up the street, the streets of pigeons by grabbing them and shaking them.

And Brendan is the owner of the company and things are not looking good this quarter. OK, OK. You've given me a character, I see. All right. I've been looking at the numbers. Walter. Yeah. Walter. I got to be honest with you. A lot of rats are getting in. Really? Walter? Yeah? Walter? Yeah? I gotta be honest with you. A lot of rats are getting in.

Really? Yeah, it's birds only. It's birds only and a lot of rats have been getting in. So how do we fix this? Hey boss I got a shit ton of rats over here. Oh god damn it Stevenson, what the hell? They just keep getting in. Oh my god, they're everywhere.

Has anybody been cleaning out the pigeon traps? I mean. Where are those? Oh my god, you guys don't know where the pigeon traps? I I mean where those oh my god You guys don't know where the pigeon traps are they were clean the last time I looked at them. Oh Jesus The rest of multiply it over here. Oh my god not rats that are expediting and multiplying Oh, no anything but that boss boss Yeah, I got a plan to get us out of this hole, you see?

Yeah, I already have a plan. It's called cutting your health care. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Not the health care, not the health care, okay? Listen, what do people call pigeons in the big city? Wait a minute, rats with wings. And I got this duct tape here, and I can fashion these wings

that we can attach to the rats, and then we throw them off the building, then they fly. All right, Stevenson, Tacky on Wilson get the hot glue. We're going in hard. We're fixing this problem numbers I go crazy boys I got bad news. I got bad news. I used all the duct tape. I made wallets Fundamentally I said hot glue, but you've used that too to match- you've bedazzled all of the wallets as well! Wait a minute. I'm thinking about a beautiful pivot here. What if we just throw everything away and start a beautiful wallet company?

Uh, boss, I gave them all to the rats that are taking them. Son of a bitch! But they look fly as hell. And scene! Wow, thanks, girl. That was really good. So if you want more of that, get tattooed or change your name. I hope it was worth it.

Dude, that's like the most expensive. I mean, I guess it's not that. How expensive is a name change? Oh, how often can you? Oh, is it? Is there a limit on name changes like an Xbox? The first name change is free with the with the gen gender change I think or am I crazy because I think otherwise it's not free You know what the other like the kind of lateral cuz I feel like it's it's low-key kind of lame

There's just a bunch of people changing their middle name to PST If you change your middle name to the name of like one of the episodes that I was thinking I was thinking if you change your name to be an acronym of psd like preston sucker harvestin oh yeah you're creative yeah we only we only do unique sees no doubles oh that's really good actually if it's like an episode somebody's gonna call be called like gay bar or some shit i don't fucking my name is uh chasing women no but it'll be like cool because one guy is gonna dig deep He's gonna do a pondering episode is gonna make his middle name gooby. Oh fucking I'm not we're ignore that guy new rule We ignore that get new rule. We ignore whoever the fuck that is I only see this ending horribly because all the prompts will be pretend to be gooby one of you pretend to be gooby one of

You pretend to be Norman and make out one of you has to be Gooby, one of you pretend to be Gooby, one of you pretend to be Norman and make out. One of you has to be the personification of Big Pizza, then you have to... Is this legal? Can we tell people? No, you can tell people to change their name. But if you do, you'll get an improv bit out of it. Morally in my heart, I feel afraid. That's what I'm thinking though. It feels like it shouldn't be allowed to say, you should get a name change. I'm not saying you should get one be allowed to say if you get you should get a name change I'm not saying you should get it. Not actually not

I definitely unless unless it's a proper name change and you really need it. I can't do that me with a name I got a fucking name change. I can't be the fucking like obviously there are good reasons to get a name change But getting a fucking bit in an episode is not a good name change. I think it's a pretty good reason. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not do that. Well, funny, I mean, let's let's if funny is subjective, you will get to say you'll get an improv at your request. Yeah. There's going to be like a discord of people who like unite together and they're going to change their middle names to be the names of podcast

hosts and then just try to replace us. I don't like that. Like the the fucking what's the warship called? Ship of the ship of that ship of fad. It's I like the shabby version. Have you heard of the new version of the ship of Theseus? The the eternal stew? Oh, you mean perpetual?

Perpetual. Yes. There was a warning recently. Did you see? I think I sent it in the discord. Yeah, too much to do. I can't remember which Australian fucking newspaper made a warning about people making perpetual stew and actually eating it. Do not imbibe in the perpetual stew. Perpetual stew is wild because that's basically what the Thames is. That's true. Can it really be that bad? Because if it's boiling. Well, the thing about perpetual

stew is if you keep it at a certain heat for a while Yeah, real perpetual stew does not go bad. The problem is is like what I'm thinking it would be gross But it's the counterfeit if somebody just has a fucking crock pot on all the time Like I mean, that's just dangerous. That's just dangerous That's just like a fucking electric. Yeah I used to have this guy in college used to make weenies and then he'd leave the crock-buck on for a week while it got disgusting, but he'd still be eating out of it.

Yeah. That's so fucking vile. I don't, I can't. That same guy, he was roommates with one of my friends who later went on to scan Jeff Bezos' head for a VR company. He lived with my friend and my friend told me a story one time where he would literally be in the top bunk in the college dorm

and he would be sleeping with his girlfriend in their bed and the guy would be above them in his bed. And sometimes he would just scream out, stop fingering my butthole. I mean, start slapping the wall. Yeah. He doesn't sound like a very fun person to be with. Sounds awesome. He was a part, I've talked about them before,

but he was a part of like the Boothies at my college. I don't want to talk about the Boothies. Yeah. I don't think we should tell people to do that. What the perpetual stew or like getting a name change. Oh, right. Oh yeah. No, don't do that. I mean, cool that somebody did it. Like I, I, my heart goes out to you and I'm like, Oh, yeah, my heart goes out to you. You're the originator that I really goddamn hope you aren't regretting it. Cause God dude, fucking nothing is stopping us from doing something evil.

I mean, so I swear to God, if I changed my middle name to PST, I w it was just the initials PST anytime I talked about my name, I'd just be like, Oh yeah, Brendan, I would just, I would just, I would just have fun with her. You have to get in real close to here. Yeah. You got it. Well, actually to find out my last name, you have to do a wordle. Oh man. I'm gonna have a UI on my chest, yeah. Yeah, you gotta do the wordle.

Solve my Sudoku puzzle. Oh my gosh. Speaking of falling down, that sucked. Patreon questions. Oh, that's where you're going. That was really awful, man. You did your best, and that's appreciated. I really didn't, though.

I, if anything, that was maybe the dude. It's so hard. It's a scorcher, brother. It's a wash, dude. It's fucking like 32, 33 degrees right now in my room because I don't have the AC on while recording. I'm sweating balls. I'm not liking it.

I'm not enjoying myself. In fact, I'm pissed. Patreon questions. If you donate $5, you get to ask a question for the Patreon Q&A, but you cannot ask improv prompts because that's only for people who get name changes, which is not guys. Patreon question. Can one of you pretend to be wearing a cheese hat and then the other one's wearing a hamburger hat and then one of you is wearing a lettuce hat and then one of you is wearing a tomato hat and then you all have to fit together

to make the hamburger even better. No. Damn. I quite like my lettuce hat. You look quite sexy. Would I be, I feel like I'd be, no, I wouldn't be bread. I don't like bread. I don't like bread. I don't want to be beef either.

Guys, I got confused. I went to go buy a patty hat and I accidentally bought a patty hat from the Simpson store. I got confused. I'm just imagining like Ashina like in a heat wave and she's just doing the fucking, what you call it, the Bobby Hill. Like this flower is Wilton. This is the fucking lettuce is falling down. From Lukovia. Lukovia.

If you were sent back to a moment in another podcast member's life to fuck with it, who slash when are you picking and what are you doing to make their past inevitably worse? So I have mine this past weekend. I visited Billy's house They were so excited to show off their grill. I would have just pushed the grill off the balcony Why would you fucking do that? What the hell would actually you could never grill in your life? I can just buy another one What do you fucking mean? I'll always be there to ruin it

But that's like a you can't perpetually break my barbecue. What the fuck? You broke my grill I can always Break your grill. It's only once and also Fuck off. I would also choose Billy and I would go back and hide with Billy told bully that he was a podcaster at a youtuber But I would sit like right next to them or behind them and just cough loudly anytime Billy talked like right next to them or behind them and just cough loudly anytime Billy talked. Just. You turn up the volume on your PSP.

I just, you just hear like, you just hear like Sonic racing behind. I've got a game gear or something just with Sonic on it. You would just like make a bunch of noise. So I can't get a word in. I just, I just, I just make the moment. I just make the moment more uncomfortable. Fart loud as hell right next to me.

Yeah. I'm going to eat like 50 cans of refried beans and I'm just going to keep be farting. I'm just going to be farting. And every time I'm going to go, oh, that was a stinky one. Oh damn. I'm stinky today. I'm stinky today.

Ooh, another one is anytime child Corbin would go to church, I would dress up like Pennywise the clown and just dance Like just within just barely barely his vision just out of the corner of his eye That way when Corbin finally found out about it, he'd be like, oh fuck. I know that clown That's my guy. That's my slide. That's my dude. He's in Texas. I don't plug the generator at the hospital. Oh, when I was born, die, I'd go, dude, I'd go back in time and fuck it. You know that hole? I just make another one. I just get it like a little prick and just I'd use the gumball suction machine on Britain. I like how mine is make social like give a little trauma, maybe, maybe,

maybe mess around and give a little social social foot pause. And yours is I'm gonna fucking kill Brendan By the way Mike you remember how excited you were to pass your fucking your nursing exams and shit Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'd go back in time and just destroy Kill you I don't know I'm gonna go back in time, kill Brendan, then you gotta go to Brendan funeral. Sorry.

It's just all just, let's just get him, says Brendan. I'd keep eating your fucking test. I'd perpetually show up, eat your test. I'm really impressed with that because we take all of our tests on laptops. So you're just like crunching down on a MacBook. You're gonna eat the whole laptop. It's that Cromartie high bit

where he like eats all of his pencils, but you just have like my MacBook in your mouth. Yeah, I just fucking eat laptop. It's have you ever it's that chroma artie high bit where he like eats all of his pencils We just have like my Macbook in your mouth. Yeah, I just fucking you have to nav. Yeah, you know, what was yours? I I think I would go back in time into Billy's life and I'd stand under the balcony I'm just imagining it's like one of those old cartoons. No, it's just one of those old cartoons where like a piano drops on someone's head with like the grill lit open so you just see Sheena just like with one tooth. I'm like, hey guys. It's like the grill marks. Crispy.

I like that that's a double whammy. But that's like, how would that make my life worse? I mean, I guess it would make my life worse. You would feel bad that you didn't protect Tina. I'm making Mike's life worse. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what I get. You know what? I'm waiting until Brendan's in a very long elevator ride and just releasing the biggest Judeo-Christian fart I can imagine.

Judeo-Christian fart? I can imagine. Now, now with this, with this, like you would have to get me before I knew you too. So like. Alert, alert the papacy. Corbin is threatened to drop the dog Madukey. The dog Madukey. Oh my fucking God. You've heard of time looping. Now get ready for time pooping.

Oh, he's clever. This one. That's the power of me taking my medications. So I would go back in time and, uh, no, that's, Oh yeah. Why you should go back in time and not like, don't let me get medicated. You should just be like,

Brendan up front, the future. Don't do it. In fact, I'd make them prescript you worse things. I would, I would go back in time. I'd swap out your meds with fart pills and make you fart everywhere. Aren't you stinky now, stinky boy? I like how you've, I like how we've just veered towards fetish territory. Now we're just, yes, of course. Wait, is that where we are? I know. We've just veered towards fetish territory now. We're just yes, of course

I know my map is that where we got to He wants to fuck with my prescriptions Really? Nobody wants me to see the demons again I would go back in time and I would give pillie the pills that makes him blue and round and I would give Pilly the pills that makes him blue and round. I, I would, I, you know what? I could go back in time if I was able to do it multiple times and just replace all of your medicine with Eminem minis. That way you're like, Oh, you know what? That was fucking really suck.

Yeah. But candy, yeah. Candy's nice, but now I'm depersonalizing every day. You get to watch yourself. You get to watch yourself eat the M&Ms in third person. Damn, he looks like he's having a good time. I wish that were me. This should be like a real life QTE. You get to live every day of your life as Indigo privacy.

Oh my god, that is, you know what? I should get more M&Ms today. I don't like that I'm scared we gotta find a new question. This is why we don't mess with time. I go back in time and read a different question Yeah Back in time to Luke Kavya's room and just stop them It's not worth it this leads to dark places you have to let go. This leads to Judeo-Christian farts in an elevator. Woah!

Hey guys, it's awesome. I just came back from the future and I realized we should read a different question. The GMNCL asks, A man child's parents are making him get his first job at the ripe young age of 26 and have tasked you with dressing him for his big boy interview. He insists on wearing some sort of epic graphic t-shirt to show off how cool and epic he is. How do you dress him? It has to be a graphic shirt. Easy way that will actually get him hired even better. His resume is the graphic on the shirt. That is nice, but also gay. I'm going with an Aperture Labs t-shirt. Why Aperture Labs of all things?

He's not even, he's not even getting hired not even getting hired like like an engineering firm or anything like that. It's just a Starbucks. What are OK, we're are we talking like a Starbucks hire? Wait, because it's a young man. He's like a man child. Yeah, like man child who has no like I'm imagining like a neat just a guy who's done nothing since high school. I'm going to say it's like a Starbucks.

I mean, no, but if they're a man child, that means that they're, they have interests closer to like game stores and shit. So in my head, it's like, Oh, game stop. Okay. I'm sorry, Brendan. Brendan, what did you wear? I wore a nice dress shirt because every job interview I've ever had, I'm like nice dress shirt and black pants. Fucking nerd. I'm stealing a, I'm stealing a saying from a bumper sticker I saw and it just is a bright yellow shirt with black letters

It says keep honking. I'm sitting in my car listening to the cranberries 1993 hit single linger I put that on a shirt right now. That's a based song man. I'd hire on the spot Oh a shirt that just says women in comic sans font women and a thumbs up so that you know that they're feminine. Just women with bad kerning. Yeah, so the letters are askew, but it just says women in Comic Sans font lowercase and then it's got bad kerning. So the letters are a little askew. Okay. They would definitely wear cargo pants and a chain wallet so that you know that they always keep their wallets close to them is the duct tape wallet? No chain wallet fired I mean it could be both nothing is stopping you from doing a channel amalgamation. Yeah, that's what I'm saying Oh, we're in a wallet loop. I do actually one of my friends It has to be like what two years ago at this point for my birthday He came over and he was wearing a fucking Bible black t-shirt. He was he's one of these fucking people

So like we went out to the bar whatever he changed obviously and then like got home and all that Because he looks like fucking jackass dog cowards so then like I get hammered whatever fall asleep next day I wake up and there's like a shirt at the top of the stairs and I was like, what the fuck is this? I see it's a Bible black shirt and I'm like what the fuck is this I see it's a Bible black shirt and I'm like oh god he fucking left it here great and as I'm like doing like whatever for the day my own goes by the way put your shirt on the top of the stairs so he's wearing that shirt he's wearing this one Bible

black shirt now I was I was I was thinking about this he says he has to wear a graphic tee but it doesn't say that he can't wear anything over the graphic tee. So what I would propose, what I would propose the summer Games Fest fit like the Game Awards fit. OK, yeah. Well, no, what I would propose is like the graphic tee and then above that on top of that would be it would be like a fursuit, but like a businessman instead,

like a businessman mascot costume. That way, when he walks in, they'll never suspect that he's wearing a great skin. Are you talking about like a skin suit? No, no. We're talking like a full like plush mascot costume, but if a businessman, that way they take him seriously. Is she, what about a shirt with the person's face that's interviewing them? Yes. Or it's just a big mirror. The shirt with the person's mother's face.

Yeah, and it says the mother's address in small text. Yeah, and her social security number on the front of it. Do I know you? Of course, we met at your house. I'm there right now. I met you in my dreams. On the back of it, it says, you better. You will.

If you hire me, I will give you the shirt. If you do not hire me, I will give you this shirt. If you do not hire me, I will walk through the prison system, showing everybody this shirt. You will acquiesce to my demands. Job now. I'm either going to be hired or you're going to be famous. Oh my God.

I have a legacy to pass down. Growing up, my mother would dress my brother and I in matching clothes. Oh no. That's always, I'm sorry, but that's always like, I would have, I think I would have died. I would have done something to myself if my parents would make me dress like my sisters. That's why they did it the other way around. Cause my mom thought it'd be less weird if I-

I think it's always weird. I'm going'd be less weird if I- I think it's always weird. I'm gonna be honest. In her opinion, it would be less weird if I wore boy clothes than if my brother wore girl clothes. So we wore matching t-shirts and jeans every day. I'm gonna share a picture with you guys as proof. This is an example.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. This is an example It's a red t-shirt that says I didn't do it I didn't do it. Oh my god That's a school picture. Yeah School picture of you wearing an I didn't do it red shirt 2008 that's Incredible. Yeah, just we were always like a fucking incredible yeah just we were always like a fucking meme dude so i was always wearing these graphic

t-shirts from the voice section at target and one of the ones one of the ones is it's like a long sleeve blue shirt that says i i'm pretty sure it said someday i will be your boss I'm pretty sure it said someday I will be your boss Yes, I will be yours that's a strong that's a strong one to wear where do you see yourself in five years where you are Above you Whoever the interviewee is I pass on on to you. You're gonna have to make it fit somehow. My, my, my. Oh, that's what this is, okay. We're not like, we're not sizing up our kids. No.

Okay. You've gotta do it, you gotta, you gotta do what I never could. You gotta put the child in manchild. Well, you gotta do the, what is it, Pete Davidson manchild or Chris Farley manchild? Chris Farley, it's more tasteful. Chris's more tasteful. It would be funnier to I thought your suggestion was gonna be like so I'm gonna dress him

Like I was dressed and then I'm also going to dress like that. We walk into the interview together Stand behind him like arms like over like a tough guy pose just be the muscle What if we all came in and the interviewer has to guess who wants the job? We make a game out of it. This is actually a Nathan for you bit. This is actually, I'm sorry. No, this is a rehearsal bit.

This is season two of the rehearsal. It is actually like- I'm just imagining us all wearing the same shirt. We walk into the job. We walk into the hiring manager's office. We're wearing pit vipers. We all have earbuds in and then we're just touching our earbuds going, operation is to go.

And then we open the door, let them in. They sit down and we just stand imposingly behind them. I was scheduled to interview a John S. Manchild, but it appears as though I'm conducting an interview with a group of Pikmin. Why a group of Pikmin? Cause we all walk in carry and going, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. I didn't realize we were, we, I don't have the fucking strength for that. We're the muscle. It's a manchild. It's probably heavy

I didn't even realize I was doing it until I said it. It should not speak unless spoken to. Oh my fucking god dude. I absolutely love the idea of going in with fucking all the same shirt and going, you have to guess. And we get to be talking riddles. the idea of going in with fucking all the same shirt and going you have to guess you have to guess and we get we talk in riddles no i like the idea that we all go in and they're like you have to guess and then we like slowly shuffle around like we're fucking shuffling cups we're like kind of bumping into each other oh excuse me oh my fucking god. That's so stupid, dude.

You have to guess. It's a Mario Party minigame. And then one of us lifts off our propeller hat, and there's a little red ball under it. It's me. Ta-da! It was me all along. We're getting arrested.

Oh yeah, we're getting tackled. They can't take us all though. One of us is getting that fucking job. One of us is getting arrested, the other one is getting paid. I'm fucking out. Okay, one more. Let's do one more. I'm fucking crying, dude. That's so stupid. TheLiverKing asks, where can I find Joe Rogan?

No! I need to talk to him. I just want to shake his hand. Well definitely not in prison where you are buddy. Aldox asks, you found a magic lamp. After mentioning the usual rules, no killing anyone, no making anyone fall in love, no bringing anyone back from the dead, no wishing for more wishes, the genie is expecting your command, what do you wish for that makes the genie add an additional rule? I have it in three.

Alright, I wish everybody gets a wish. I wish everybody's wishes cannot affect me. And I wish that nobody can wish for their wishes to be reversed. Isn't that a plot of fucking a Fairly Oddparents episode? I swear to God. Oh, I don't know. I don't remember Timmy Turner's bit. I just want to cause chaos.

I don't think that was... What if his name was Tiddy Turner's? The whole reason that he needed the genies to escape the rules. Also, the genie was voiced by Norm MacDonald. That's true. I totally forgot about that. That's right. I only have one wish and I think that he would immediately things would change immediately. I would wish for him to turn into a pigeon. Back to the birds. And then I would grab him and shake him really, really violently. Okay. The way you said that made it sound like you're pulling a clipboard back out and you're taking a nose like, okay, and Billy's back on the birds again. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, it is, I'm just writing down the birds. He would not like that.

Mine would be wish one, a wish for a beer. Wish two, wish for another beer. Wish three, wish for another beer. A pure curiosity. The genie gives you a fourth wish and I just smile and it cuts the credits. What? Wait, okay, wait.

I did not get that one. He wouldn't make a rule about that though. He would just summon the beers and be like, all right buddy, they're your wishes. He would just even just let, he would just summon the beers and be like, all right, buddy, they're your wishes. He would just keep going. Wish number six, you already know what's gonna happen. Why would he give you more wishes? Cause he's curious.

He wants to know if my desires will ever change. But I am getting into Nirvana. I am escaping Sam's heart tonight. You're arousing his fucking, you're just arousing his curiosity. Yeah, nobody does what that guy fucking. Oh There's like, okay. I always forget the actual post there's such a fucking stupid one Oh, wow, the the wish worked. It's like my dog who now speaks. I wish I wish him money. What I wish me back. No talk

money wet, I wish me back, no talk. One day inconvenience is owner and two to make him not talk anymore. It's ice cube in the hand. Ice cube. Yeah, ice cube in the hand. Me wish no talk. It's written so stupidly. It always makes you laugh. OK, I do remember that one.

Oh, that's a good one. Oh, God, just making me think of a Years of Longing and how the plot device for why Idris El-Bajini can't like do anything is because 5G towers are keeping him from being a genie. Is that real? Yeah, it's like the signal towers in A Thousand Years of Longing, it's like, oh, why can't you like live and just do magic and fall in love with me, Idris El-Bajini? Because the 5G signals are, They interrupt the magic flow or something.

Oh damn. Wifi or something. I don't know. My back hurts. It literally it's literally like wifi antenna transmitters. They fucking die. My magic. Ah, it hurts.

Oh, what about you guys? What would you do? You have an idea Corbin? I've been trying to think of an idea and I'm just I thought like oh I know I'll I'll I'll make like Aladdin be in and say you're free genie and for some reason I thought the genie would think no you can't do that then I can't make it more wishes I can't make it more wishes but I guess he would be out of a job but But it's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. He wouldn't do that.

Hey Genie, I wish you were unemployed. I'm just thinking, I wish the Genie was free and could never come. What? Just send him out there. Oh, my alarm. My alarm for 650 is going off. The Genie's here. Oh no, it's Genie time.

The Genie's here. You're gonna have to turnie time. He's here. The genie's here. You're gonna have to turn off all the clock radios, all the cell phones too. Otherwise it's gonna disrupt his circadian rhythm. And he can't come. And he can't come. He can't come, Peter. He can't come.

And he's just a plot to a thousand years of longing, though. He just can't come. I can't think of any. I can't either. I'm only thinking of like- What if I wish that nobody could lie, but not in the sense of like- That's a in the sense of like, no, no, no, no, no, but different, but there's no Ricky Gervais.

My first wish. Nobody can lie. My second wish. No Ricky Gervais. No more Ricky Gervais ever. No, but like your third in the sense of if you tell a lie, it becomes true. That is the plot of persona. I don't know who that is.

It's starting rumors. You start when they start rumors, the rumors become true. So I guess a rumor can kind of be a lie. Rumors are in essence kind of lies. My first wish JFK's head did actually just do that. My second wish Abraham Lincoln's head did actually just do that. My third wish John Lennon's head actually did just do that. My third wish one Abraham Lincoln's head did actually just do that. My third wish, John Lennon's head actually did just do that. My third wish, one beer.

One beer. One beer to enjoy it all. And he gets curious again because he remembers the last guy. Let's see where this fucking goes. God damn it. I said no extra wishes or just go waste them. I know that. The fucking genie beer paradox.

He's too curious. How can you arouse the curiosity of fucking genie beer paradox. He's too curious How can you arouse the curiosity of a genie here outside of beer? Oh wishing for like a really small amount of money like I wish I had 32 cents dude. I need five bucks right now I I like the idea of like you have to kind of like arouse the genie's curiosity and mildly creep him out before he even gets There so like you get you get the lamp and it's so like, you know Kind of beholding it and like rubbing it, you're just go, koochie koochie koo. And he's like, what was that? What the fuck?

He gets out of there, he's like, what the fuck was that? What are you doing? Oh, you know what? I would summon the genie by using his lamp like a neti pot. I got genie in your nose and it comes out the other side. Water in there and I'm just, I'm mainlining Jeannie dude. What happens? What happens if I mainline Jeannie?

He goes through your nose, comes out the other side, goes, what the fuck? And I'd be like, that bitch looking like Slimer now. You got to stick your finger up to the knuckle to get them out. Oh, he's trying to get the Jeannie out. Trying to get the Jeannie out. Oh, that's what the guy was doing. That's why that lady was so interested.

She wanted wishes. It wasn't a one knuckler. It was a one lampler. She could hear the genie going. Ah! Woo! Oh yeah, just. You gotta get me out of this guy's nose, man!

You gotta get me out of this guy's nose, dude! He's got so many boogies up here! Oh god, dude! I just start rubbing the guy's nose. Put a little pepper on it. There's a button up here and the Lego. How do you get a stud up here? It's full of homework.

It's full of homework. I want to rub the lamp outside of a grocery store at one of the little horsey things. You know, like the little horse horses that rock and then just keep pushing wait corbin bring the lamp to a hardware store put him in the paint mixer see what happens i love that idea corbin i'm just continually wishing for nickels to ride the pony wait so the paint mixer you would wish for him to just like no i would just put the lamp in the paint mixer but new rule new rule don't put lamp in paint mix don just put the lamp in the paper but new rule new rule don't put lamp in paint me don't put the lamp in the paint mixer but why

would that what would that mean that the paint mixer is rubbing the lamp and wouldn't that make it so that the lamp must do a wish now that's a new rule that the genie has to be master of the lamp What are your wishes three? Granted and the paint mixer starts mixing a can of beer Hey, thanks so much for listening this episode would not have been possible without the help from her patrons. I'm so sorry I'm gonna apologize. I realized that in the episode we talked about farts for like 15 minutes at the start, what the fuck, are we okay? Are we okay? Huge thank you to Alan Diver, Boopoo Lu, Brain Soup, Brass, Cassandra Crash, Chipples, Chips, Chris Chapman, DX Studios, Edward McMillan, Eric Scott Gillies Ethereal GEEF Generic Phoenix

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Training Bark Tritty Bird, Toucan Farben, Ulbert, Will9455, and Woodstock. See what I did there? Anticipation, baby. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the podcast and we will see you next time.