Please Stop Talking - Kachow | Please Stop Talking
Episode Date: August 1, 2021This is your brain on Dorkly.   Kachow (Shina's pics): https://twitter.com/BastionMain11/status/1316584192713486337?s=20 Support the podcast and Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowM...usic Humble Bundle Monthly ▶ http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle ▶ https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Avery ▶ https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Mandy ▶ https://twitter.com/Lord_Mandalore Brendan ▶ https://twitter.com/BrendanielH Corbin ▶ https://twitter.com/lobbymemez Shina ▶ https://twitter.com/FujiTheApple Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Miller Lite.
The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer
and the perfect pairing for your game time.
When Miller Lite set out to brew a light beer,
they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can.
They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer.
Your game time tastes like Miller time.
Learn more at MillerLite.ca.
Must be legal drinking age.
Clear your schedule for you time
with a handcrafted espresso beverage from Starbucks.
Savor the new small and mighty Cortado.
Cozy up with the familiar flavors of pistachio
or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shake and espresso.
Whatever you choose,
your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks.
So, why do you keep me in the trunk here?
Am I dangerous?
What do you mean?
The banging in the trunk.
You said it was me.
I mean, it's pretty funny.
Ah shit. Hang on. I got this.
Officer, I'm racist.
That's great. License and registration please.
Oh, of course. Here.
This is a New Zealand license.
Oh, that wouldn't be a problem.
Here.
Where did you get that?
That David is a rat fuck, but he makes a mean fanny pack.
There you go, sir.
You're the passenger?
Alright, I'm gonna need you fellas to step out of the vehicle.
Oh, surely that's not necessary.
What was that?
That, uh, that was me, officer.
I'm cocking my gun. You three stay put.
You actually bought something from that rat fuck?
Well, I needed affordable, fashionable storage, and policestopshopping.com is hardly an easy URL to forget, so yeah.
Please, you gotta help me.
You gotta...
Finally.
Thank God.
Officer, please.
You have to help me.
Oh, no.
Ha!
Classic.
Oh, God, what the fuck is that
that's the Kirby automaton
welcome to the podcast
David was just strangling a cat
that's not an instrument
eat shit banjo
hello everyone
welcome to another episode of please stop talking
I'm Avery but you might know me better as Shammy
I'm joined today by
Corbin
Corbin you might also know me as Lobby Memes from Twitch.
Everyone just go down the list.
We do what we did last time.
Everyone go down the list alphabetically.
Brandon.
I don't have to intro you.
I was when nobody was finished talking.
I'm Brandon.
That got a real quiet.
I'm Darkseid Phil.
No, you're not.
You just wish you were, you fucking liar.
They're coming to take my dog Oreo from me.
Oh, no.
That's not DSP.
That's not Darkseid Phil.
Uh-oh.
I'm Sheena.
Do you want to start over?
I think we should start over
this is fine yeah
let's just skip over David's
because we know who he is so
great yeah
once again David I thought we agreed
we weren't going to be doing this anymore
because after the fucking intro
it's just quiet because no one knows
what to fucking say after that
that's why we stopped
doing them in the fucking first place but it but it's always it's always somebody's first episode
who cares fuck them it's my first episode no it's not i know i just want to fuck up the timeline
corbin the only thing on your spotify is big time rush i don't think you've ever listened i don't
think that's true i think right now it's the jonas brothers and yeah he has he has a lot it's just his sex playlist is all big time rush okay
i had to stop um listening to drake bell because my tinder profile shows up my recent spotify plays oh no how did you explain that one so that every child band he listens to turns into sexual
predators oh my god please no big time rush is just now going on a revival tour yeah it's gonna
be terrible ain't it no it's gonna be amazing how dare you? I can't wait until they play county fairs and all of them die of
dysentery from drinking the corn water.
What the fuck?
Are you listening to Drake Bell or Drake Campagna music?
Mostly Drake Bell.
I don't even know who Drake Campagna is.
Drake Campagna is a lot better.
Drake Campagna is Drake Bell in Spanish,
Corbin.
Oh,
that's Spanish for Bell.
No,
he makes his music in Spanish too.
It's much better.
Also, David, have fun with this audio
because I forgot to turn on
my noise limiter, so I think
I'm no-clipping constantly.
You're no-clipping constantly?
Oh my god! He's going
through his computer!
Christ.
I heard some fuzz. On the subject of your your tender profile i want you to talk about
your what your your co-worker oh no so this it wasn't my co-worker oh it wasn't your co-worker
okay it was my co-worker's roommate ah uh so i was hanging out with my coworker a lot because we're really good friends.
And I finally met her roommate and she laughed at all of my jokes and was was very funny and would continue bits when I would start them.
And I was like, all right, so we're getting married.
So I became very smitten with this individual.
And surprisingly, she liked me back.
And we go to karaoke, like me and my coworkers,
all the time on Thursday.
But one Thursday, no one else could go.
So I texted her.
I was like, hey, we should go.
That'd be fun because we still have fun doing this.
Let's go, just me and you.
And she was like, okay, cool.
Sounds fun.
I was like, great.
I'm in.
Karaoke goes fine. They didn't have any big time rush, but that wasn't a big deal. We end up karaoke and I drop her off back at her place and she her apartment she's like do you want to watch a movie or something and i'm like sure and we're kind of thumbing through and picking what you
want to watch and uh we end up watching uh what oscars adventures through grouch land
oh fuck yeah what what the fuck is that did you guys do the raspberries at the same time they did
them on screen we did do that we did do the raspberries fuck yeah what the fuck oscar the
what canadian says what it's a it's a an elmo movie which she picked out so she picked out a
kids movie and um we stayed up until like four in the morning we watched that movie and
then watched a ton of like shitty youtube boobs and did not sleep that entire night we just sat
together on the couch watching kids media and so at this point i'm like okay if that's not love
then what is that's also a quote from that's a naked
brother's band yeah more uh so i did not sleep that entire night i had to go to work went the
whole day at work and i was like okay i need to hang out with her again because her roommate uh
i don't think she's back in town yet so i'm gonna hang out with her again tonight so I can just make sure it's just me and her so I go back over there uh after work we hang out the entire day and she's
like hey do you want to like watch a movie in my room and you can spend the night and I was like
this is amazing turns out her roommate had gotten home um she actually walked into the room at one point while
we were both in her bed and it was very awkward we just stared at her and i told her to leave
um oh she jumped on the bed too my co-worker what the fuck and i was like please stop this
is not the time uh but we're like laying in her bed and it's pretty late. And I have not slept since the day before.
So I'm like incredibly fucking exhausted.
And we're on Disney Plus and we're looking for a movie.
And she puts on Cars.
Oh no.
Yeah, I know.
As soon as she puts on Cars, basically we start making out.
What the fuck?
This is so fucking Corbin. And I'm making out. What the fuck? This is so fucking Corbin.
And I'm freaking out.
It's the most Corbin story ever.
I'm freaking out because I'm like,
this is, I've peaked.
Like this, it doesn't get better than this.
I'm currently making out with this girl
that I like a lot
and Cars is playing on the background.
So we also did not sleep again that entire night because we were
busy um sucking face and uh jesus christ i get a call from my grandma at like eight in the morning
because i had forgotten that i had to bring my car into the shop and she had scheduled it
and she goes hey they're saying you're not here yet and I'm like oh fuck so I scramble out of bed I drive over get my car inspected and I had work again so
I get my car inspected I rush to work and I'm like walking I'm like in the clouds right I haven't
slept in two days and I was like high on emotions and's just, I'm all shaken up and weird.
I get to work.
I walk in, the day's going normal.
And about halfway through the day, a coworker comes up to me and she goes,
ka-chow.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
This is awesome.
I go, this is so.
I just go, this is awesome.
I go, yeah, man.
Ka-chow.
And then I don't really think that much about it
and continue working.
And then like 15 minutes later,
someone comes up to me.
They go, hey, Corbin.
I go, yeah, what's up?
He goes, ka-chow.
And I go, dude, this is like the best day of my life.
What the fuck is that?
He's like, am I in a coma?
I'm like freaking out because i'm like everything is going just perfect like this is my dream world am i still asleep like did i die your dream world is people readily stopping you and going kachow
yeah pretty much shit and then i see um my co-workers, the same co-worker that I was at her house last night,
whose roommate I was watching cars with.
And she's talking to my boss and they're both laughing and pointing at me.
And I go, oh, this is problematic.
So I walk over there and I'm like, yo, what are you talking about?
And she goes, oh, I was just telling him about what happened last night.
And I go, what do you mean what happened last night?
She then explained to me in the middle of making out.
Unconsciously.
I was listening to the movie in the background while making out with her.
Stop.
Opened my eyes.
We locked eye contact.
And at the same time as lighting McQueen, I go, ciao.
And then continue making out.
No!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
You're so fucking Chad! Dude, that is the chattest thing ever holy fucking shit was she impressed um i think i like i barely
remember that i uh vaguely remember maybe she laughed and then we just started making out again she dude she was impressed if she
goes back in she's impressed i mean yeah she kept kissing me but then yeah we're just friends now
because that made me unbelievably sad what What the fuck? Yeah.
Because I was like, she doesn't reply to any of my Snapchat today.
That's weird.
And then, so she didn't reply for the whole day.
And then the next day we were supposed to hang out and she canceled.
And then I was like, well, this is problematic.
So, yeah.
No, we decided to just stay friends.
She decided.
You chowed yourself out of a relationship honestly dude it's it's what the
fuck that's how i wanted to go like if that's if she won't date me because i'm gonna catch out
like i don't want it i'm i thought it was during making out it was i just oh yeah i don't know
no we were just because that was like a step above a bit I'd say
dude what the fuck man
if somebody knew cars that well
that they would stop in the middle
to say ka-chow insane
that's a selling point
that is exactly what I'm thinking
it's a selling point
that's a fucking keeper
I didn't want to tell her hey just so you know
this is the third time I've watched cars this week
why because then she wouldn't believe me i think she would believe
you i i'm pretty sure she would have believed you after that genuine question how many how many
times when you have like a girl over do you put on cars how many times is that your go-to uh no i think with my ex-girlfriend one time we're
watching cars and we started making out and uh she got pissed at me because i just started
watching the movie that's actually a good lead in for like
what's the worst thing you've watched like on a date
that's far too early
yeah
yeah mine was
um
oh fuck I don't even want to say mine mine was bad
say it oh my god
this was in uh this was in high
school when she came over
but she was like really um she was from a very sheltered family.
So I went,
oh, I need to get something that doesn't
scare or offend her.
And I was digging through my dad's DVDs
trying to find something that wasn't like a gun movie.
And the only thing I could
find was Dunstan Checks In.
Whoa!
For those unaware
that's the gorilla channel
that haunted you your whole life
that's the fucking gorilla movie
it's a chimp right
no for those unaware it's about a
a little boy
discovers an orangutan
in a hotel
that's owned by an evil man
and he becomes
friends with a monkey.
Yeah, he plays the
monkey hunter.
How is your life so monkey adjacent, Mandy?
This was just one time
though. It wasn't like I was
always watching Dustin Jackson.
Why is that the one you went for though?
So I was like, oh oh i have like ancient vhs's from when i was like three like oh i have a i have like the tigger movie or something like that it's like no this won't work but
dunstan checks in won't scare her like the rep she was scared by like
they're like the most mundane shit like she would cover her eyes
seeing orcs and lord of the rings kind of sheltered
so I was like oh um
Dunstan checks in surely won't be scary
I think it was
but I don't remember how
what
now I'm curious now I really want
to know what the scary scene was
I don't know so I think someone
has a gun at some point.
I think he tries to shoot
the monkey.
He like does get
shot but survives or something. I think
there's a monkey shooting.
What?
Bat and orangutans are scary.
Orangutans could rip your face
off. They're frightening. They're like the chill monkey
though. They're the chill monkey though. They are but they could do it. They could they're like a chill monkey though they're the chill monkey though they are but they could they could they don't yeah yeah but
they're the chill monkey chimpanzees well those are the i guess they're all apes they're apes
if there's a tail it's a monkey i think that's the rule yeah i believe so i don't know why but
that reminds me when i was straight uh there was this
one time when I okay you're gonna make him correct that I was so fucking when I thought
when I thought I was oh yeah I forgot you've had a year
I can understand how long has it been that long oh my god I can't remember the last time I've been
on this properly no that's not that's not even what I can't remember the last time I've been on this properly and not D&D
that's not even what I meant
forget about it I was talking about what happened when we were
watching Vinland Saga
oh I gotta watch that
oh right I really gotta watch that
you do it's a good show
anyway sorry go on
when I was dating this girl I remember bringing her
home and she was also really
um I wouldn't her home and she was also really um I wouldn't say
sheltered she was uh fucking scared of everything though and I was like oh I want to I want to make
her watch a movie I really enjoy and I was like thinking of like action movies I could put on
and for some fucking reason, my head was wet.
Like,
Oh,
you know what?
What's a fucking awesome ass action movie cabin in the woods.
Action.
I don't know.
She cried.
Yeah.
And yeah,
she cried.
And that's not even cabin in the woods for like,
Oh,
if you really like horror movies,
you'll like this.
Yeah.
I'm a fucking moron. And the worst part is that like right after we finished watching i we went to
a fucking asian restaurant and i got i got like a uh fucking general tsao i think it's called
and it came with a uh oh fuck what's the what's that little thai pepper that's not the Thai pepper I know what you're talking about it's uh it's not fucking
either way I was I was like hmm I'm secretly gay but I need to prove to her that I'm I'm a I'm an
alpha so I was like I'll fucking I'll I'll bite into this pepper why I don't know I had to prove
that I was a man I really like David's thought process of what would a straight guy do in this situation?
2010 me is a fucking weird dude.
I was like, you know what?
I'll fucking bite into this pepper right now.
I started biting into it and I just...
I vomited.
What a nightmare. What? You started vomiting it was really spicy i
couldn't stop i couldn't stop god oh god i i couldn't stop like uh coughing and snorting
and i just vomited i was drinking milk and at one point the milk did not work oh so you vomited. I was drinking milk, and at one point, the milk did not work.
Oh, so you vomited from the milk, not like you swallowed the pepper and instantly projectile vomited all over.
If it's spicy enough, that can make you, yeah.
Yeah, I vomited from spicy food.
I'm just saying she was really impressed.
Was it black pepper?
No, it was Tabasco sauce.
There we go.
Tabasco.
I think black pepper would be like me.
I forgot.
Corbin is like really bad with spice.
Corbin thinks ketchup is spicy.
What?
Hey, I agree with Corbin.
I'm right there with him.
Not regular spice.
Okay, Avery says this out of context every time.
I think spicy ketchup is spicy.
Spicy ketchup from Whataburger isn't fucking spicy, though.
It is spicy.
Hey, dipshit, it's in the name.
Yeah, it's not fucking spicy.
Brendan, have you had Whataburger spicy?
You're an idiot.
Not you.
Anyone else?
I forgot.
I forgot your fucking milk is spicy.
Hey, Avery, is cold water cold?
It's not frozen. What? It's not frozen.
What?
It's not ice.
But is it cold?
What is happening?
Corbin, okay, Corbin, I am now going to call all ketchup spicy ketchup.
Is all ketchup now spicy?
If you classify ketchup as spicy, it is spicy ketchup.
Actually, the only ketchup that's normal ketchup is ketchup mixed with mayonnaise. If it's not mixed with mayonnaise, it is spicy ketchup. Oh! Actually, the only ketchup that's normal ketchup is ketchup mixed with mayonnaise.
If it's not mixed with mayonnaise, it's spicy ketchup.
This is my rule now, so
it's all spicy, according to you. This is just
argument the Joker movie through, like, a few
levels.
It was a bird-eye chili,
also. I just found it.
Bird-eye chili?
Yeah. What was the pepper he ate?
How many Scoville is that
that's 100
what's it compared to spicy ketchup
100k I think
that's less than spicy ketchup
which is similar
nah it's similar to spicy ketchup
like pretty close
got some zeros
yeah
I'm unironically angry now
oh Corbin
yeah I know you are
I uh
also Corbin
while all this was happening, I had a realization.
Do you guys remember
Prom Story Girl, that girl I dated in high school?
Oh, yeah. Yes. I just realized
that she
also really liked children's media.
Look him up!
Look him up!
To the same degree.
She's married now.
I'm talking like
corbin tier like she watched nothing but like fucking disney channel and shit as like a senior
in high school and she's also the one who introduced me to heathers so that's interesting
oh wow that's a weird turn it was children's kids movies and heathers very weird combination
can you give me her first and last name i won't she's married first of all
why who cares why who cares
i'm not doing this i could be her prince charming or her shrek you don't know
or her shrek Since we're talking about
high school stories
and girls,
I have authorization to talk
about a series of events
that I haven't been allowed to talk about
because he was like,
no, don't do it, and now I'm allowed to
talk about it.
Back in high school, my friend
when I went into high school,
he absolutely hated me. So much so that he still has his yearbook and if you go through his yearbook his yearbook you'll find
my face and it's cut out he went through his entire yearbook he hated me so much my freshman
year his sophomore year that he cut my face out i was sitting i was sitting next to him with like
a group of people that i didn't talk to at all and his group of friends and i looked at him and i
said i'm gonna make you my friend sophomore year he's my best friend we're both in choir uh
eventually you know uh he has an interest in um a couple different girls throughout the sophomore year nothing junior year nothing uh going into
junior year graduates and i start dating a girl he really liked uh which was honestly probably a
terrible idea uh because she was really nice but she would only watch monty python on the holy grail
really cool one of her brothers worked at uh blizzard really cool she got like
a lifetime free wow sub i did not care about that i hate mmos but monty python and the holy grail
was the only thing she watched um a couple years later i would end up living with her mother for
like a year which is also quite interesting um skipping over so much we where's this going there's like an entire fucking anime
i i've i've i dated her over the summer of my 16th birthday and 16th to 17th and um
it was very mad at me he would not talk to me he would not answer any of my like skype messages he
would not like answer texts
or phone calls he was pissed because he thought that i stole her from him even though the only
attempt he had gotten to ask her out was leaving notes in her locker so we go to see i go to see
this predator movie with another group of friends this isn't like new predator this is like predators
the first predator remake other than predators that was predators yeah i go to a theater and zuck is there alone
four seats ahead so i'm with a different group of friends he won't talk to me and we're sitting
there we're everybody's watching the movie and i go up to james after the movie is over and he
bolts out to like get away.
So he doesn't have to like talk to me because he's so mad at me.
But we watched the whole movie together.
And eventually this girl and I broke up.
And the day we broke up, I called James and he answered.
He's like, yeah, like we broke up.
And he's like, oh, cool.
I'm coming over.
I'll bring a case of.
What? cool i'm coming over i'll bring a case of what this wasn't the end though of like me accidentally
dating the girls he was interested in the second one is much much worse and this is why i needed
authorization i just needed like a setup this is senior year so i dated this girl named mara i
dated this girl named megan and then i i broke up with megan to date this girl named Mara. I dated this girl named Megan. And then I broke up with Megan to date this girl named Madison,
Madison.
Two of my friends were fighting over her.
It was then my friend Abe,
they were like fighting and like giving her gifts and whatever.
One day she just like comes up to me and says,
Hey,
you're cute.
And then we just start dating.
Like it is,
it is.
They are literally like Goku versus Vegeta fighting over her. And she just walks up and it's like, you're cute. then we just start dating like it is it is they are literally like goku versus vegeta fighting over her and she just walks up and is like you're cute i'm like oh okay
cool i guess we're dating all right megan i'm breaking up with you all right cool because i
was kind of an asshole uh plus she worked at mcdonald's so she smelled like french fries
i feel like that should be a plus for you yeah that was a super plus that was sick
we'd make out and she smelled like french fries.
It was awesome.
That's so gross. What the fuck?
The reason I needed authorization
and I needed to ask if it was okay
is because Madison and I were sitting in her
house one night and one
her mom didn't want me to teach her
brother about D&D. This isn't just
a weird tangent. Her mom didn't want me to teach her brother about Dnd this isn't just a weird tangent her mom didn't
want me to teach her brother about dnd because she thought it was like satanic so that was just
like a really odd thing to deal with because that was one of my passions at the time and then um
madison brings out this copy uh of like firefly which is like hey I know you're friends with Zach. He gave me this copy of Firefly like a week ago.
I open it up
and he's like, yeah, there's a long
note in there that's asking me out.
I'm just going to close it and
then hand it back to him and pretend I never
saw it.
Oh my God.
Zach. He's been my best friend for 11
11 years I love them to death
I just had to basically ask permission
because it was it was
so awful I ended up breaking
up with her after she cheated on me and then I
dated someone else who led me into like
Shelby and Shelby and I've been together for eight years
what a tumultuous time
Firefly is like a TV
series on Fox it only ran
for one season it's like the holy grail
of does anyone else like Marvel movies
Corbin you know
that like other Iowan
girl that we ran into
at the liquor store in Colorado
oh no she kept
talking about Firefly if that gives you an idea
of what it is
I
want to
know what movie i thought it was oh what i thought it was like firefly as in the superhero that drake
bell plays in that one movie with charlie what what the fuck is that oh my god superhero movie
talking about superhero movie yeah movie, yeah. Oh!
And I was so...
The Waynes Brothers movie.
I was so excited that I finally got a movie reference,
but I guess I was wrong.
Avery, I've been having, like,
I've been having, like, night terrors every once in a while
about that lady in Colorado,
how I just kept, like, being Midwestern
to the point where she brought out, like,
the Baby Yoda koozie that she was making for her friend
i'm never wearing a baby yoda t-shirt just to mess with my friends in public ever again
i was standing in the middle of that conversation and i had no i am so i had no idea of any of the
words that were being said like it was worse than like when y'all talk about anime or video games or movies it was like they were speaking a different
language i was so lost i had to turn on the game stop part of my brain it was really like it was
really funny to watch because i i was sitting i was standing over by the wines and she was talking
to you in like the liquor area and i was just kind of like watching and i got to watch you shift
gears into fucking game stop so we're missing i'm missing context what happened exactly i'm not a story i was just trying to give corbin
context you just like met a woman basically you know you know when you're at the grocery store
with your mom and she runs into someone that she hasn't seen in a while it was like it was like
that but i was the mom yeah Yeah. I just beat by beat.
I was I brought a baby Yoda shirt on the
trip because I thought it'd be really funny to wear
it around because I was like, oh
man, this is fucking awful. It's a baby
Yoda Christmas T-shirt and I walk
into the liquor store and there's like a lady there
and I immediately my fucking senses
go off and no, I know she's
from my area. The slack jaw the like fucking like hunch posture. i know she's from my area the slack jaw the like fucking like hunch
posture i know she's from the fucking part of iowa that i'm from it's the worst what it's
there's chemicals in the air that fuck people up here what you don't you don't come out of the area
i live in without being fucking emotionally or physically scarred there is a dog food factory
and a waste treatment plant that are both way too close to town and they're killing like 500 pigs a
day in the middle of the fucking city you don't come out okay you don't come out of sioux city
okay you just don't jesus christ all right i believe it so i sense it and like i go look at
vodka because i i told avery i'm gonna buy the most expensive bottle of vodka I can find
because I just really want to see.
And I was looking and I was like, I'm not impressed by any of these.
The one that I got the last time I was here, wasn't there.
And this lady comes over and she's like, well, if you're looking at vodka, I'm like, oh fuck.
She's got the fucking Midwestern accent.
I know it.
And she's like, oh, that's's a that's a cute baby yoda shirt
that's amazing you know i'm crocheting one for one of my friends for like their baby and i'm like oh
yeah yeah yeah okay yeah all right that sounds it sounds really interesting yeah uh she's like yeah
let me show it to you she goes back to like the fucking desk grabs this baby yoda like koozie
brings it back to me and we just talk about like i can't even remember. I think it was like a five minute conversation that I phased out of because
once I go into that gear,
I don't remember a single fucking thing.
It's like getting blackout drunk,
but it's like getting white out in Pokemon.
I made it all the way from baby Yoda to talking about firefly the entire time.
I was just holding on to Brendan's shirt,
just tugging it
like it was the worst because like i we were buying alcohol and i hand her my id and she's
like oh my god my grandparents live like 20 minutes from here like i fucking knew it it
was a good time it was uh it was a good time i just i'm never gonna wear a baby yoda shirt again
i can't handle going back into that gear.
I can't do it.
I can't go back to that state.
I really need to return my Baby Yoda shirt that I got.
Why did you get a Baby Yoda shirt?
I was at the wedding reception.
Oh, of course.
I'm really excited for the wedding reception
because my family has decided to bring all of their children. Oh, that'll be great. Oh, God. I'm really excited for the wedding reception because my family has decided to bring all of their children.
Oh, that'll be great.
Oh, no.
And the place that we're going to is specced for 80 people.
96 have said yes.
So...
Oh, no.
Yeah.
So, Brenda, you brought that up by talking about Night's Heirs.
And ever since people seem to like the Brendaverse dream,
I usually think talking about dreams on podcasts
and stuff is really fucking boring, because it's usually
like, oh, this is fucking crazy.
Then I was in the library, and then I was
made of lightning.
But, that's usually
what it is.
I was made of lightning.
I wasn't trying
to umberfuss, but no.
I love Percy. This one's really, really short and simple.
Um, I had a dream. I had a stress dream because all of the dreams that I'm ever going to bring up are going to be stress dreams. I had a stress dream where I was going through a period where I
was really anxious that none of my friends liked me. Um, and it was in the Colorado house and I
would wait and i
would wake up and everyone would be downstairs and they'd be talking and i'd walk downstairs and
every time i would say anything everyone would stop talking for a second and then just stare at
me silently uh and then and then they would all like their heads would all rotate like machines
back to where they were looking previously. And they would just continue their conversation.
Like nothing,
nothing happened.
And so it reached the point where,
um,
it was a bunch of people sitting like out on the,
on like the patio.
And I was like,
all right,
I mean,
does anyone want to go into town for food or anything?
And then they all like heads rotate.
This is there directly at me.
And then at the bottom left left hand corner of my fucking vision
i see the counter-strike vote kick thing come up and it instantly ticks everyone voted yes
and i woke up i can't believe i got vote kicked for my own fucking dream
oh my god did you wake up when you uh got kicked yes I woke up the second I got vote kicked
it went like tick tick tick tick tick
and then I woke up
I told you this Avery
but it was like two days after you explained
the Brendaverse to me
I had a Brendaverse
stress stream
I told you about this Avery
the dream starts
and it's pitch black and there's a spotlight and Brendan is just standing there.
And I walk up to him and he goes, hey, man, can you just sign this paper?
What are Brendan's stress?
Corbin, I have to tell you, I've been like on and off trying to like fucking just bring that to your mind
I've been like I've been like in the shower every once in a while
I'm like fuck it'd be funny if Corbin had the Brendaverse dream
Was there more to your Brendaverse?
Or was it just spotlight Brendan?
There was more
I sign the paper and he goes good
And then
Walks back into the darkness.
The lights turn on and there's like four other people there
that I've never seen before.
And they're in like a racing position.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
And they just look at me and they go, get ready.
And then the front door opens and they all run out so i'm starting to follow them and it's a full like
wipe out just obstacle course and there's a black figure just chasing us and slowly picking people
off one at a time that's horrifying terrifying did you have a Brendan you'll play or one?
I finally get into the last room and in the last room is all of the papers that Brendan has made people sign before.
And there's like a million and you have to find your paper and you have to sign it to avoid it.
And I'm going through the papers and I can't find mine.
But I find one that has my mom's name on it. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That's so scary.
What the fuck?
Cleve, save her.
Save her.
This is horrifying.
As I find it, I see the black void person getting closer.
So I forge my mom's signature and get into the safe zone.
And as I get into the safe zone, the light turns on and it's John Cena.
Okay, what the fuck?
And so he walks out of the room and I'm like, fuck, this isn't actually my paper.
For some reason, I was like, I have to go find mine.
So I switch it out. I actually my paper. For some reason, I was like, I have to go find mine. So I switch it out.
I find my paper.
I sign it, and John Cena walks back in,
and he goes, you cheated.
And I go, hey, man, it's just the name of the game.
And then he started crying, and I woke up.
Your stress streams are fucking horrifying.
Yeah, it was terrifying.
I usually love my stress streams.
My paper was made for me
fuck you fuck you man oh my god you signed yourself into like a stress
i think it was a side effect i think it was a side effect of uh the bean stream to be totally
honest because brendan kept telling me you signed a contract, you can't
get out of it. Oh, that's absolutely...
I did, I did.
That's the problem.
If you accidentally get me at 100%,
I will not stop.
I won't. I'm basically
like a wrecking ball. If you agree to do something with
me, you're going to fucking do it.
You signed a contract.
Yeah.
How many others have signed this contract there was a lot of papers there's a lot of people remember the contract you signed when
you got on uh psd i wrote that contract we're all fucked we're all fucked. Stress dreams. I've talked about like if we're talking like dreams as a segue.
I think the only I've had three awful dreams, but I'll only talk about one because it's dream stuff.
And I usually don't have a memory of a lot of my dreams as an adult.
I just vividly remember three dreams from when I was a kid.
And the worst one is the octopus dream.
When I was a kid living with my mom and my dad, I was about
four or five years old and I went to daycare and I had a really bad experience there. And the night
of I had this dream and it's stuck forever in my head. There's a line of children and they're
walking into a big building that says daycare on it. They're going inside, walking through the
doors. And I am sitting there and I'm four years old, blonde,
curly hair. I have sunglasses, a leather jacket, leather pants, and a spiked belt. I don't know
why this is important, but it was very important to me in the dream. These kids are going in
single file, one after a time, and then you hear this ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Finally,
I get through the door of this daycare Inside is a giant metal octopus
And it's picking up the kids
One by one
And it's mouth is full of saw blades
It's picking them up, throwing them in
And then a bunch of parents
Two lines of parents are all clapping
Three times every time a child gets thrown in
Eventually
It's my turn
I turn around and I look at the kids.
I salute them, give them a thumbs up,
and I jump in backwards, and I wake up.
It's like a Hunger Games.
It's this image of this giant metal octopus
with saw blades for mouth.
It's just stuck, like burned into my head.
That could be a good boss in video game.
Oh, man.
Surge 3, finally.
The badger dedicated.
It'll take place in the dreamscape.
Fuck off.
Speaking of
dreams, have y'all seen Jim Carrey's The Mask?
Yeah.
That was the joke.
You're an idiot.
You're such a fucking moron.
That's what the mask is.
Oh, fuck off. It took me a full
fuck off. God, I hate you.
Oh my god.
I hate that it took me that long
to realize it. You really slammed the brakes
with that, Corbin.
Yeah, you fucking ruined my day.
You ruined our day.
Okay, I've been biting my tongue
ever since Avery said dream the first time.
The fact that I held out for like 15 minutes,
I am so surprised.
You're a broken human.
I know.
I guess that's what the point of the mask is.
Shut up!
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, shut up!
I'm sorry I didn't take my normal pills.
I knew that was coming.
And I'm still mad.
And I'm still mad.
Oh no, Corbin, you mixed up your normal pills
with your wacky and zany pills.
Oh, shit.
Your zany pills.
Shit.
You took your zany pills.
Now you're going to shit in the cash register at Whataburger.
I feel like we're somehow talking about the movie Joker again.
Your ketchup is too spicy.
What the fuck are you saying?
Just title this episode of the podcast The Joker 2019.
No.
No. Why would we do that joker 2019 full movie please name it
just gonna message me and be like what the fuck did you do
oh fuck did you do?
What the fuck?
Fuck me.
I wanted to ask you a question, Corbin.
Yes, Machina.
When did your fixation on
cars begin?
It all started in the year
2006.
The release date of cars, yeah. I can't believe you know the release date. 2006. Where are we?
The release date of Cars, yeah.
I can't believe you know the release date of Cars. Can you really not believe that? Really?
No, you know what? Yeah, you're right.
I wanted to ask because
my brother, when he was little,
was very into Cars.
He loved Cars.
He loved Hot Wheels and
Mr. Lightning McQueen.
And my parents were changing up the house a bit, and they decided,
we're just going to give him, like, a race car-themed room.
They went really all out and um so he had hot wheels like wallpaper he even had
like a race car shaped light somehow what um how does that work yeah he did have a lightning mcqueen
bed wait i remember i remember seeing... I need to show you this.
He had it.
Series of pictures I've ever seen.
He had it until recently, didn't he?
Because I feel like I saw it.
No, no, no.
It's so sad.
I've been looking for a Lightning McQueen bed for so long.
They're all just so expensive.
It slipped through your fingers.
It really did.
I wanted to ask if he had one.
And he also had a Lightning McQueen table set for very small children.
I just want to bring a girl home, have a Lightning McQueen bed, and go,
You ready for the race? Don't worry, I always come first.
Jesus Christ.
My brother dated someone in high school.
This is not my story, it's his story.
What a gentleman.
He dated someone in high school for like a year, I think.
And one day after school, he brought her home and they laid down on the...
Lightning queen bed.
On the lightning queen bed because his room has not has not changed since like 2000 whatever and
they looked at each other and then he got up and he played overwatch for like two hours and
she just laid there in the bed and then she what your brother is living my dream.
For people interested in seeing the pictures.
I'll put it in the description.
Yeah, very important.
It's good.
Life is so unfair.
I work so hard for these moments and for some people it just comes naturally
you could just uh
you could buy a
lightning McQueen bed
they don't make them in like king sizes
or queens they don't make adult
sizes
you need to get
you need to get a lightning McQueen bed
and a mater bed and you cut out
the middle boards
and set them together.
Think about it.
Think about it.
Mater and lightning McQueen.
Just go on
Etsy and find somebody who makes
adult sized
kid beds. All you have to do is
find a modified race car that
looks like lightning McQueen and then cut out
all the car stuff.
Is there an actual Lightning McQueen out there?
Yeah, guaranteed.
Was he based on a real
person?
Yes, he is based on a real person.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
No, that's John.
Jeff Gordon. Dale Earnhardt Sr.
I think it was John McQueen
who he's based off of.
Oh wait, this is real.
I was just making shits and funks.
I think I would joke about... Corbin, are you going
to attend Dale Earnhardt
Sr. College?
That's a college?
Yeah.
What do you learn?
Turn left?
Isn't that what happens at most colleges?
No, based on what we heard about this one,
this one might be turned right.
Brendan, I got it.
I got it.
I also got it.
Wait, what are we getting?
Don't worry about it, Sheena.
It's fine.
It's fine.'s fine hey not cut so good just watching it just watch an episode of king of the
hill you'll get it immediately I love king of the oh should have added Hank to What? What? What?
Should we go into Patreon questions?
I don't even fucking know right now.
I guess.
King of the hill.
I don't.
Shut up.
Wait.
When are we starting recording?
Oh, did y'all start?
Corbin.
No.
Cut all of this.
This is so shit.
So, Patreon questions. been no cut all of this this is so shit so patreon questions you you ask them we answer them that's not wrong from its abbeys have you ever been in
any cringy fandoms if so do you have any stories from your time in those fandoms i was a brony
surely you've talked about why you stopped being a brony on the podcast
before i i'm like i'm pretty i'm pretty sure i stopped talking about it but like there are a
couple reasons a dude looking at brony porn in the middle of the like uh cafeteria of my college
the fact that i like hype myself up into giving a speech and speech class about my little
pony in college the fact that a hot topic employee tricked me into buying a women's jacket because it
was the my little pony like flyers jacket the fact that my mom found out and then one christmas
she got me a ds but she also got me like a hundred and fifty dollars of my little pony toys
And I threw them all away the next day. Oh my fucking god
it was I did make some cool friends in the friendship gaming brigade, but I
What I was in a brony gaming brigade for a little bit
It was a forum
My cutie mark was taxes what do you mean taxes taxes i mean like it
was imagine saying the words my cutie mark was taxes i thought it'd be really funny i thought
it'd be really funny if i had a pony that had like a shaved head that looked like that one fat guy
from the office that i don't know his name is and he had like just a cutie mark and it was fucking taxes and he looked depressed as shit and his name was
i'm just confused was it the word taxes like a pile of paper no it was like it was like a pile
of paperwork with a pen yeah i made it in gimp i was so proud of myself shout out to your mom
supporting you and all of your interests she did it to make
fun of me she didn't buy it to support me they were like a bunch of like really cheap she bought
like bags of these cheap toys she didn't do it because she was supporting me she did it so i
could open them on christmas and she could laugh at me so thanks mom love you holy shit rescind my
shout out i love my mom to death but she
likes to fuck with me too much it's a
it's why I don't visit
as often wow
what the okay okay
alright alright
I'm gonna send her this episode
I don't think that's a good idea
so David what are you
do you have any extremely embarrassing
moments from the
furry fandom
do you
I don't go to
cons or anything
so no
so you've had no
embarrassing moments
from the furry fandom
I feel
I mean I do
and I've
I've told them
before though
that's the thing
that's true
I feel like
you have told your
I thought of one
oh yeah
yeah the fandom is Christianity
oh my god
I applied for a job to be a camp counselor
for a Christian camp
oh my god
that's right
they didn't like
they wanted me to be a janitor at the
camp because I didn't open,
I wasn't,
they were trying to get me to say that gay marriage is a
sin and I wouldn't do it.
Whoa.
Whoa, okay.
Woo, boy.
It was, they were not nice people.
It was very uncomfortable.
The guy, he sat me down and he was like,
do you believe everything in the Bible is true?
I was like, yeah.
And he goes, okay, cool.
So it's a sin to be gay, right?
And I went, no.
And he goes, okay, well, you're a janitor.
Did you actually work at that job?
What?
No, I started ghosting them.
And they always contacted me.
They kept calling me.
And I would just never reply
and then he got mad at me one day he left me a very passive well no it's just aggressive voicemail
oh really he was just he was like i've been trying to contact you forever you haven't shown up for
work at all he's like where are you he's like we're leaving to on the bus in like two days
and we have no idea where you are it's like like, yeah, but I'm not showing up.
Good on you for ghosting them for the gays.
Yeah.
Damn.
It was at that moment I became an ally.
Corbin, when I took that test, it said I'd be the overseer.
Because you're really homophobic?
No.
Is this the joke?
I'm confused.
I don't know.
My brain made a connection to Fallout 3.
I don't know.
Ignore me.
Why would we know that?
Because, I don't know.
Corbin was talking about this, and I was just imagining him sitting in the vault at a desk and somebody was questioning him about like
No the worst part is we were in the middle of the library
on campus so no one else is talking
we're sitting in this room and he's like it's a sin
to be gay right and I'm like dude
we're like surrounded by people I'm embarrassed what the fuck
I just was thinking about
the goat test from Fallout 3 because he
asked you a question and then gave you a job
I don't know I can't explain it I just was thinking about the goat test from Fallout 3 because he asked you a question and then gave you a job.
I don't know.
I can't explain it.
I'm sorry.
It's a webcomic.
It's okay, Brendan.
Oh my God.
This is a fucking... This is a Penny Arcana webcomic.
This is a control delete episode, dude.
Fuck me.
I got dorkly on the brain.
I'm so sorry.
Dorkly on the brain.
Dorkly on the brain. I got dorkly on the brain i'm so sorry asks the psc hosts are transported to the brindaverse and are being hunted down by
everyone there how long will you survive always yeah i mean i'll just forge my mom's signature
i feel like everyone whether what are the rules of the Brendan rules
is it just normal I thought it was just
normal life with Brendan it's every single
person on the planet is now Brendan
but this this
poses something that I think is going to come with me
in my sleep tonight which is that everyone
there is looking for me
that's awful
are they looking for us that's what the fucking question says David it wouldn't be hard because they just have to look for someone that's awful are they looking for us that's what the fucking question says david it wouldn't
be hard because they just have to look for someone that isn't brendan yeah you can't hide brendan
would survive because he's just like i'm brendan i mean i they would find him and they'd be like
this can't be right it would be the weirdest painhole recording ever that's a lot of brendan you're thinking yeah i'll just
be doing painhole while being hunted by my co-host i'm already hunted for being on painhole what does
you but by brendan yeah that's what i said there's lots of them and he wants to kill you he's going
to try and kill you that sounds like painhole yeah that sounds like painhole to me i don't know
about you.
I like the idea of it's just Painhole,
but that Brendan is staying there as a distraction so that all the other Brendans can close in on your location.
So just in the middle of the Painhole,
you hear people banging on the walls and windows.
It'll be like being at Mandy's place.
Do they have Brendan's voice?
Wait, do they have Brendan's voice? Yeah, they all have brendan's voice then it is painhole if everyone
is transported at the same time i will i will offer protection it's easy i know my weak spots
i can't believe we're gonna get isekai'd into fucking the brendaverse listen all i have to do
is turn on my dad voice and then all of them will be too terrified to reach me what's your dad voice
huh i'll just say oh yeah hey dad's on the phone and then i'll hit i'll like show them the phone
and they'll back off like light light versus darkness oh my god it's like alan wake but with
father issues alan wake with father issues is so good. Holy shit.
Thanks, Brendan.
I don't think I'd survive that long.
I wouldn't want to hurt a Brendan. I would absolutely hurt a Brendan if it was coming for me,
but I don't think I got the attrition for it.
I don't know what I'd do.
Brendan's like twice my size.
Oh, but not everyone's like that.
They're small Brendans.
The children are scaled down Brendans.
Everyone else is roughly Brendan's size.
That's like Brendan a roughly Brendan's size. That's like
Brendan a million times my size.
Yeah, it's a lot of Brendan.
Wasn't the worst part of the Brendanverse
be food would taste like nothing?
What?
Huh? Because my favorite food my mom makes
is like slow cooked chicken and potatoes.
They don't all have your personality though.
That's not part of the Brendanverse.
It's everyone dressed like they normally would be with their own personalities, but everyone's you, and they look at me all the time.
I don't know if this is a boring question, but I feel like I have a really exciting answer.
Then go for it.
Oh, dang.
Okay, I've hyped it up too much.
But William Oliver asked, what are your guys guys favorite video game weapons and why
I don't know if you guys have good answers
but for me
I really like the hunting horn
the hunting horn
is really fun I like the hunting horn
a lot
so fun
but also music
think about it
help your friends
and you go wow and you hit them.
I don't really have a good answer for that.
Fire axes.
I feel like it would be an Ultra Kill weapon.
Yeah, probably Marksman from Ultra Kill.
If I'm doing an actual answer.
The glue gun.
Yeah, probably that.
Oh, yeah.
Corbin loves it.
Corbin knows how to use it just fine
wait what the fuck am I saying it would be a keyblade
of course
yeah I'm like what the fuck David
I mean I don't think that
it's just a sword but it's a key
it's not my favorite weapon like genuinely
that doesn't have to go in the episode
if it's not very interesting
there's a lot to pick from.
Yeah, there's so many good ones.
There are a lot of good ones. For a real answer,
I think it would come down to something
in Ultra Killer Blood. That's what
I'm thinking. Maybe the TNT
from fucking Blood. Like, holy shit.
What a fun weapon. Yeah, Dynamite from Blood is
very good.
Ethan Howell asks, if you could put two
podcast members alone on an island,
who would it be and how would it go?
I would want to be alone with Brendan and I would hope
that a ton of boats would
come by to come rescue us. They would hear our
conversations and then just sail away.
Sail away, yeah!
Jesus Christ, they would!
Fuck!
Oh my gosh.
I would pick Ed, because I think that's the longest
I would be able to stay sane. How would he keep you
sane? We live together,
and we live together with
no air conditioning and no
internet for a while.
I'm trying to think. That sucked.
I'd put Ed and Cameron together
and wait for them to come. Oh, that was what I was going to pick.
Yeah, Ed and Cameron together and wait for it to go. Oh, that was what I was going to pick.
Ed and Cameron together would be a very good one.
I just want to see how gay it's going to get.
I didn't think it'd get gay. I think it'd get very
confrontational.
Maybe it might.
He's going to start talking about
being kino-sexual or something.
It would be fucking awful.
Which one of them is going to say kino-sexual first? Cameron. Cameron, are you fucking serious? or something it's gonna it would be fucking one of them is gonna say kino sexual first cameron cameron are you fucking serious of course it's cameron ed keeps saying
kino sexual i think ed would bring it up first to joke around i think ed would bring it up first
what does that mean i learned it today it means you like good movies
so it's what it means yeah it's this is like a strange question because i feel like by putting
them alone and like i'm thinking like deserted on an island that's what i'm thinking yeah i feel
like i'm just cursing two of my friends yeah yeah i literally imagined that one little tiny
circle island with one palm tree. That's exactly.
The newspaper comic.
That's.
Yeah, that's like the deserted island.
I was thinking the island you
see in like the Spongebob intro.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a far side comic. Yeah.
Oh my God, we're all just agreeing and saying the same
thing over and over again.
This is the Brent. Have you ever opened an almond joy i love almond joys i like to take the almonds off i fucking hate you i don't know what an almond joy is
it's got like coconuts and almonds but i don't like to eat the almonds i just like that it
touches the chocolate and the coconut oh Oh. What the fuck?
What? You're such a fucking weirdo, dude. I like to take the
almonds off, I suck the chocolate off, and then I throw the
almonds away because I don't like almonds.
But I don't like mounds either.
Dude, mounds are fucking shit. I'm fucking losing
my mind. Stop!
Mounds are good. Mounds are shit.
Almond joys are way better. Wait.
Which one? No, wait. Almond joys.
Wait. Yeah, no. Almond joys are mounds with the almond, right?
I think it's the other way around.
Okay, then I was wrong.
Oh, it has no almond.
Yes, almond.
Mounds is just a coconut and chocolate.
It would be really weird if the almond joy was the one that didn't have almonds.
That would be a great prank.
They're like, get it, because like mounds, like the bumps of the almonds.
Oh, wait, no.
Carbon, you tricked me.
I was like, that's such a good way to remember.
Sheena, there's an even easier way to remember.
One of them is called an almond.
Oh my gosh, it's all coming together.
I'm sorry, Sheena, it's my fault.
Purple Cucumber asks,
this one is from Andy.
Did you ever keep in contact
with Viper?
And if you did,
what are the chances
of being a guest?
Guest chances,
I'd say are
like
zero.
He hates you?
No, no, no, no.
He's
He had a falling out?
No, there was no falling out.
He's very,
he's very preoccupied
with, um, Getting his son. He's, he had a falling out. No, there was no falling out. He's very, he's very preoccupied with,
um,
yeah,
with that,
with actual real life drama.
So that's probably not happening.
That was not a funny answer.
What the fuck?
I was going to keep it vague.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Can you,
can you base boost savory when he says that I'd like an echo to it.
Why,
why would I do that?
Cause I was like, Oh,
you know,
you had some stuff going on son
the fuck but i mean even before that he was um he was communicating with him was very sporadic
like it'd be 3m he'd be like fam you up yeah i have new music okay
from goku drip
sorry uh they say hello boyos hypothetical you've just been brutally murdered and have
returned as a ghost who killed you and how do you haunt their
every living moment? I guess this is basically
how would you mess with people as a ghost?
And which one of the other
podcast members do you think would kill you?
I feel like Avery would kill me.
Oh, absolutely.
Okay, well,
I think
Gotta watch my back now.
What the fuck? I think... Gotta watch my back now. What the fuck?
I think anyone here could.
Maybe he would kill me,
but I'd keep slightly turning his sink on
for the rest of his life
throughout the three parts of where he lives.
I keep...
I keep, like...
Can I set macros on keyboards?
As a ghost?
You're gonna...
You can just haunt the keyboard, can't you?
Can I...
I'm gonna haunt the keyboard. That you can i i'm gonna haunt the
keyboard that sucks who killed you david i did it was avery if you haunt his keyboard he loves
keyboard so if i fuck up his his keyboard then he's gonna be so pissed switch out all the switches
for blues oh every oh i'm gonna every time you have like every time you switch your fucking your switches
i'm gonna do that back in yeah but you're gonna when i start putting blues in
i imagine this goes like this david infects avery's keyboard and it starts being spooky
and moving it around avery puts it in the closet and then he trades it because
it's an unusual now.
I feel like Brendan would
kill me.
I mean, okay.
But it's what Corbin's feeling.
I honestly feel like it would be a team effort
and he would give me to sign a contract
and he wouldn't purposely kill me. He would give me
to sign something. It would lead to my death.
But then in the contract, it's a ghost clause.
So now that I'm a ghost I have to do
his bidding. A ghost clause.
If you were a ghost that had to do my bidding
that'd be sick. I could do haunted house dreams. You could just make
shit move for me. Yeah there we go.
Damn. Hey Corbin I got
some papers I'm going to send you. Okay I'll sign them.
Did you just get a pin? I don't know who. Who would kill Shia? Yeah who would kill me I don't think anyone good I think there's like an accident who would kill you one accident yeah that narrows it down who would kill Sheena on accident? It's gotta be Brendan. Why?
Ah, Brendan charged with two counts of manslaughter.
How far can we go with this?
How would he kill her?
He would send my ghost to scare her.
I get so frightened, I just fall over and die.
Now you join the league.
Yeah, I want to be like Casper,
and just do all your chores.
What the heck? Why is this all on me?
This question has turned into a ghost butler army.
This fucking is the rule.
But it'd be cool, like, me and Corbin could hang out.
Like, Corbin's helping with your stream
and I'm just like quietly doing the dishes in the other room
I'm just yelling at Brendan
about my fucking keyboard
this is such a weird
this is such a weird
fucking roommate situation
but it'd be so cool
like what if he had a friend ghost
and two of them
how many people are living in this house
what do you mean how How many people are living in this house?
What do you mean, how many of them are living?
This is such a good sitcom idea.
What's that?
Yes, it is. Write it down. Why is this sitcom me running around blindly, accidentally committing manslaughter and summoning an army of ghost butlers?
It is. It's a good idea.
Shut up.
Now that the plot is about Brendan accidentally
killing more people, it's better.
And he keeps going
his catchphrase is,
Oh, cripes, I've done it again.
Daniel slaughters.
Who would kill me?
Brendan, we just met.
He just kills everybody by accident. I think i just make you so mad talking about
bethesda games i think you just die on the spot that's the one time you've ever screamed at me
it wasn't real scream it wasn't but i still got scared because it was
i was defending fall Fallout 76 and Avery
had turned direct
vision at me. What the fuck?
I would have vote
kicked you in that moment if I could.
Avery, I think just based
on past stories in the podcast,
I think drunk Mandy would.
I think he's the most likely. Yeah.
I'd kill me too, actually.
It's me!
You have to hunt yourself now.
Because, like, I remember drunk Mandy
would just, like, leave traps for himself or something.
Yes, and me!
You know what?
Mandy would kill himself.
But how would he hunt himself?
Haunt himself?
Can you get drunk in the afterlife
and bamboozle yourself again?
You would set traps
for yourself in the afterlife.
What if your ghost split into
Drunk Mandy and Sober Mandy?
That would make so much sense.
Two separate ghosts.
That would be so scary if
Mandy died and Drunk Mandy was left.
That sounds like a twist on a
shitty Insidious sequel.
When your son died, he became two ghosts.
One's his angle
and one's his demon.
His angle and his
devil.
Your son Siamese Twin was living in him
the whole time. And he was living
in the walls for 20 years.
Oh, that's like Belial from Basket Case.
Mandy, it's like the house is the womb.
Oh my God.
I like Monster House.
Oh, fuck.
What the heck? you're still here?
Okay, well, thanks for listening.
And a huge thank you to all our top patrons, such as... Crust, Boo Poo Lou, Cab Z, KC Brownow, Kleotic, Daxter092, Destrick Gothroy, Dreams of Ice,
Ducky Madness, Eric Scott Gillies, Fang Jade, Generic Phoenix, Harry Norris, Inverted Van Man, It's Abbey's, Jeff Smith, Manuel Martinez, Mellowolf, Maya, Notoriety, Pyro Pat, Schizolingvo, Seawolf812, Snake Asylum, Teague,
Travis Vapes, Trevor Wood, William Oliver, Winchester Curse, and Zoroacurl.
Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you next time.