Please Stop Talking - Let's Get Sad | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

If by any chance you're going to the Punta Cana International Airport can you please go check on Ed? Just make sure he's eating enough high fiber bars, make him less bored. Humble Bundle Monthly: http://humble.pleasestopshopping.com/ Humble Bundle: https://www.humblebundle.com/?partner=pstpodcast/ Support the podcast and David on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server!: https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Avery - https://twitter.com/ShammyTV David - https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Ed - https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Kyle - https://twitter.com/SirZulu_ Podcast - https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Podcast also available on Spotify, iTunes, and SoundCloud! iTunes: https://goo.gl/X1C3nG Spotify: https://goo.gl/fdVg9V Soundcloud: https://goo.gl/i1zNgC Art by Madbuns: Twitter - https://twitter.com/mad_buns DA - https://madbuns.deviantart.com Other links: David's Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2gAtGSJ David's Soundcloud - @sirmeowmusic Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Clear your schedule for you time with a handcrafted espresso beverage from Starbucks.

Savor the new small and mighty Cortado. Cozy up with the familiar flavors of pistachio. Or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Good morning everybody and welcome to Californian Christian Homeowners 109.7 KSPJ Frequency Modulation. To ease you into the world of the awoken, kick back, relax, and soothe your sins with some wonder thought beats. What a beautiful morning. Fuck! Kyle! You moved! You have any idea how long I've been looking for you? How did you find me?

I've got some shit to show you. My week has been fucking insane. I knocked out a gay bartender, and I had to grab an Uber all the way here. Is... Are you... What is that, rum? Well, it's rum and coke.

A shot of it? Fucking whatever. It doesn't matter. Have you... Have is that, rum? Well, it's rum and coke. A shot of it? Fucking whatever. It doesn't matter. Have you seen they live? Seen who live? Fuck. I... The ads, Kyle.

The ads are everywhere. They followed me here. They're coming right now. Like commercials? No! I'm talking about real ads, Kyle. Real ones. Ah. Real ones. Ah, real ads, but not commercials.

Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. Tell me more about these ads you see. Are there any ads in the room with us right now? No! God, you aren't fucking listening! The ads are following right behind me! We need to go! Would you say you feel like you're being... PURSUED by these feelings? Yes! Of course! If I stop, they're gonna get me! They might have already gotten Cameron!

Uh-huh. And how does all this make you feel, Avery? I'm glad you asked. Here. The video of Cameron's on YouTube. Just let me- Fucking unskippable pre-rolls. The cunts. Here, the video of Cameron's on YouTube, just let me- Fucking unskippable pre-rolls, cunts. Here, hold this.

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No, no, no, that's different. That one was supposed to be there. Pay attention. Avery, this is just a video of a man getting shot in a supermarket. Oh, God, you can't see it. Okay, I don't have time. I'm sorry for this, Kyle. My ribbon comes! No one came to my birthday party! Jesus Christ. Thanks, Cameron.

Please leave. Oh, Ed. Oh, Ed. This is terrible. Why are we dogging him so hard? This is pretty par for the course. You've been missing for a while. Also, hey, Kyle's back.

Wait, what? No, you guys intro. No, we don't. We just did. Okay, well, I'm here, so we intro. We don't do the name thing anymore. Wow, Kyle doesn't go on the podcast for a year and he stops listening. Was it more than a year? That's exactly what happened. Kyle comes back to the podcast for a year and he stops more than a year that's exactly what happened kyle comes back to the podcast for a year and all he wants is clout

wow just wants a name drop god you're the only one who's been name dropped thank you avery you slut you decadent slut yummy is weird. I feel out of place. This is like an out-of-body experience not being introduced. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Please Stop Talking. As always, I am your host, Avery, but you might know me better as Shammy. I'm joined as always by my lovely friend, Kyle. Well, don't say always. I'm joined unusually by Kyle.

Hi. Are you doing the other people or just Kyle? No, it's just Kyle. Kyle's the only one who wants it. No, please introduce Ed. Please introduce Ed. Holy fucking shit. And I'm also joined by the exquisite punk duck. That one felt yucky.

I don't want anyone to ever want this again. Shower time. Can we all just save water and hop in a shower together and record it in the shower? Yeah. I don't know how this... I mean... Let's get in the PST house shower. There's plenty of room for five.

The PST house. Yeah. Alright. That made me sad. Go in the corner. Ed, what are you doing at 3am being sad you wanna go to IHOP oh fuck you

fuck you not even an interesting thing to explain it really isn't where are we going with this I don't know who wants to leave having to do the intro after we did the intro fucked me up

yeah cause I thought we were just gonna naturally lead the conversation I have a question for you is it David of PST podcast fame where were you on the last week what what is going on when did you have your fucking vacation motherfucker oh thank you uh well on the last

week i didn't really talk to many people because i was outside of my little home country of belgium and i went on a little vacation with a couple of my friends. You might know them. You might know only one of them, most likely. His name is Trelli, and he was on the episode. On the podcast. On the episode. On an episode. The episode. On an episode a couple weeks back.

He was the guy talking about plums. Quite a few weeks back. Yeah, and fondling balls. You know him. Yeah, the fifth dimension. Anyway, I went with him and a couple of other friends including rexy and dave and yes but the main thing is we went into this trip me and my friends excluding rexy with a big theory we think rexy is a virgin. Now let me explain. What do you mean think? Exactly.

Let me explain. So Rexy, I'm not going to lie. He's a very attractive man. Right? I think, I mean, he's like conventionally attractive. He's like model attractive. Yeah, he's like, imagine white Josuke, but not as charming. White Josuke?

We had this conversation. Oh, right. You're the one who pointed it out. Fucking stupid. Okay, yeah. Which is ironic because he thinks Jojo's is gay but he's like dude josuke has pretty nice hair not gonna lie um rexy's the guy that saved josuke when he was five fuck um but anyway we have this theory because like rexy talks up all the sex he has a lot, but also, we've never seen him talk to a female, ever.

And he's always like, yo, at Worlds, I'm gonna get some girls. And the only girl he hit on at Worlds was a girl that was being paid to be at the after party to try to sell people drinks. Oh, no. Oh, no. Like, she was, like, going around and giving people coupons and rexy was hitting on her and we were like rexy she's being paid what can i like you coupon to redeem later tonight you know and he was like no no dude trust me she's into me she's into me i'll see her later on the dance floor dude she keeps smiling at me and then he got really drunk and on our way back on the uber he was in a fetal position in the back

of the car crying and going i didn't get any girls tonight man no dude wow because he was giving us all these rules of bringing girls back to the house. He was like, when I bring girls back to the house, I don't want you guys to disturb us for at least like 30 minutes. We're like, okay, big man, you're the last 30 minutes. So yeah, that didn't happen. And the world's after that again, that didn't happen.

But then we planned this big trip to Punta Cana and And Rex was like, dude, I'm so fucking ready. Like, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to nair my balls and my ass. You'll see. This is my year. And can't confirm. He did nair his balls and his ass because we all shared one room. So eventually we're going to see each other's cock balls and ass. And I got the full picture. That shit

was clean shaven. It was like four Mr. Clean heads. You know what I'm saying? Four? Two balls, two ass cheeks. Two cheeks. Oh, Christ, dude. I thought you were talking about like two balls

the fucking tip of the weenie and just like a single ass cheek. Really that's where you went with that. Well that's where my brain went with that. Rexy's ass is just a dome. Why would you need to nair the tip of your weenie? I don't know maybe he's got a

hairy weenie. Maybe he's got a fucking wolf cock. Alright. Like a wolf in his cock? His cock is a wolf. Tell me about Rexy's cock. I was talking about the little art piece with

the Falco, but anyway. What was I saying? You saw the full nair. Oh, right. So he did definitely do it and I was like, there is no way this man is getting laid. If anything, I don't want him to get laid because it'd be funnier. Yeah, way funnier. So we go there and we have this big theory.

I think Rexy's a virgin. Just I think Rexy's a virgin. Like, there's no way that he is. But it really seems like he is. But there really is way um and then the entire week we're like sitting at bars and there's like groups of girls that are like coming up to us but like sitting on the chairs next to us which is the very telltale sign of hey come up and talk to us or am i wrong i think i'm right i I wasn't listening, but sure. Okay. Oh, that's

fucked up. So anyway, they come up to us and I was like, yo, Rexy, you want to go up and talk to him? And then he's like, nah. They're attractive. You can go up and talk to him. He's like, no, I don't want to go

by myself to a group of girls. And I went, okay, I'll go up with you. So it's just the two of us. And then I'll introduce you. And then you can work your magic. And he went, I don't know, man. I'm not really confident when I'm sober. I'd rather do it when I'm drunk.

Oh. And I'm just like, wouldn't it be better if you did it while you were sober like if when you're drunk you can say some dumb shit and he's like no no no no you have no idea i get i get way better when i'm drunk you can only roll his r's while drunk does rick say sound like this no he does he does and like at this point at this point i'm like uh-oh it's happening so that that that basically happens throughout every like day portion of the week. And then there was this one night where me and Dave just ate a fuck ton of old pizza. And then we got really tired.

So we just slept in. So it was only Trelli and Rexy that went out. And they went to this nightclub. And just so you know, just for context, Trelli has purple hair right now. This comes into play later. So Trelli and Rexy go to this nightclub. They're dancing. They're having a good time.

And then this group of four chicks start talking to him. And according to both of them, only one of them was hot. Right? Uh-oh. And then somehow Rexy got stuck. It's like an in-betweeners, the first movie. Rexy got stuck talking to the least attractive one. And then they werexy got stuck. It's like an in-betweeners. The first movie, Rexy got stuck talking to the least attractive one.

And then they were just talking and talking and Rexy just suddenly goes, you know, I got to ask you something. Well, is your, is your friend single? Oh, fuck dude.

And then she goes, actually, she's more interested in the purple guy. And then Rexy gets up and goes, Trelly, we're leaving. Oh, my God. What a bitch, dude. What a cunt.

What? What an absolute bitch. What an asshole. That dude hasn't been in the same fucking area code as a vagina holy shit oh my god talking to and then no no and then no no i wake up the next day and i'm still like because like we drink we kept fucking up and we kept drinking during the morning slash day we almost never went out at night like on accident no uh and then like i slept in dave actually went out they all went out and then charlie kvek was like ed i'm drunk

at 11 a.m what's up and i need to ask you something and i'm like okay what's wrong rexy says they were all here they're all present and charlie was visibly upset. He said, Rexy says he's never eaten a girl out and he's fingered a girl once. What? Oh. At this point, I can feel my lifespan shortening. I can feel the wrinkles in the veins

showing up in my forehead. And I tell him, Rexy, how? And he says to me, don't i don't i don't care if she's enjoying it no no dude no so fucking irredeemable okay even if you don't care that she's enjoying it right i assume no one enjoys a dry vagina right no it's listen if they look at him soaked you've seen that hair um and then i tell i assume you don't enjoy enjoy a dry a dry vagina and he's like oh yeah but i i just use lube and then i'm like wouldn't it be cheaper to just eat them out even if it's for a second he's like i don't care i don't care if

it's oral i just wanted to be on me what the fuck what a yeah do you have any idea how much money rex he makes it's the other thing he talks about, right. He doesn't need to worry about lube cost. Like, and then... So that happens. And then a giant penny drops, right? Because two days after the trip started, me and Treli started having a lot of inside jokes because while Rexy was sleeping,

we spotted a pack of still unopened trojans in his bag and we were just laughing our ass off like oh he's not gonna he's not gonna use them all trip right and then on one of the last days trellis went up to me was like ed i just thought of something rexy has dead ass said on the strip i've never worn a condom and i never will what what the fuck the money he makes he'll pay for the abortion no

but and he'll also buy condoms just to flex exactly what is this we think he's actually never had sex i'd buy it when he said that i started laughing We think he's actually never had sex. I buy it. And when he said that, I started laughing.

And Rek'sai was like, what are you guys talking about? And I just went, oh, nothing, nothing. And I just looked at Treli, and I said the line from Django that Leo says, there's been a lot of lies told in this era. And then Rek'sai was like, no, really, what are you guys laughing about? We were just like, oh, yeah, we're just quoting leo at each other it's all oh my god that's a really great cover and then yeah we were just yeah he didn't get laid he brought the trojans trojans were left unopened and then he he shaved his ass and balls and nothing came of it. And then this is a tiny theory that I had on the very last night.

Me and Charlie were out on the balcony. We were drunk as shit. And I was like, Charlie, I don't think Rexy is a virgin. I think he's an incel. Oh. He doesn't want to eat girls out. He's fingered a girl once and hated it and then whenever he does get laid quote-unquote get laid he doesn't like do anything else with them he doesn't he just tells him to leave

i think he's an incel holy shit he has He has to be. I really love finding out the reasoning for all of the words you put in the topic chat as the story goes on. I know, it's so fucking good. I know, I've been watching it. I'm just like- Dave, Amanda, Mama Juana, Naps and Pizza, Mono, Connor. I'm writing down topics, Cameron. Let's Get Sad, Mental Clock, Nightclub, the fucking Canadian 50-adian 50 year old i'm pretty excited for let's

get sad for all of these yeah i love the story unfolding not in the order you put the words oh hell it's not it's gonna be all jumbled up it's gonna be like beyond two souls i'm gonna pick and choose the timeline oh i love david cage i'm gonna pick the canadian 50 year old right now because that story is still pretty fresh in my mind all right about david cage no because we're talking about rexing oh right um so the hotel was pretty big and one of the things they had was a karaoke bar, which I fucking loved. Oh, nice. I fucking love getting drunk and just singing.

It's the best. It is pretty good. Singing in front of strangers is the best. It's also the best when they join in. What's not the best is when you're singing your 3,000, and then the entire bar is clapping along, and like five people climb on stage to sing with you. And the moment the hits the fucking song buffers oh i'm still i'm still pissed about that i'm still so fucking sucks dude we're at the karaoke bar and the karaoke bar was closed but then we were like yo if rexy can beat you in arm wrestling we can sing three songs what like we were talking to the owner oh the owner was the owner was jacked and we were like

okay arm wrestle our friends and if he beats you we get three free songs and it was like okay my friend that's amazing and then they arm wrestled is rexy jacked yeah rexy's pretty jacked i'll give him that and then they arm wrestled and rexy won we thought he won but like you know he leaned the other guy like completely in his way and like we were like yeah all right we got our three songs and the guy was like no no my arm never touched the table and you let go of my hand. So you are disqualified. And we were like, what? And like, the thing is, if we had lost, we would have had to pay him. And then we just came to a compromise like, okay, how about, because, you know, the karaoke bar was closed.

So even if we paid him, we wouldn't get any songs. We're like, okay, how about we still pay you, but we also get our three songs. And he was like, all right, fair enough. So Trelli gave him, we were all going to give him $2. But the thing is, I wasn't used to the currency. So everyone gave him $2. And then I also gave him my,

I mean, not $2. It was the Dominican Republic currency. Yeah, pesos. Thank you. So I also gave him what I thought was the equivalent

of $2 in pesos. And then he held it and he looked at me and went, is this for me? And I went, yeah. Okay. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. of two dollars and pesos and then he held it and he looked at me went is this for me and i went yeah oh okay oh no oh no i looked back at the note that i gave him it was 20 dude how many songs was that is this for me okay it was three songs this is all for three songs and like i just love that he was so shocked

like is this for me and i went yeah enjoy yeah he didn't stop to double check this man lost to arm wrestling and lost the bet entirely and he made 26 dollars but anyway fucking happy but then we said here here's the songs we want we want ocean man we want the original naruto second opening and i and we want brian adams summer of 69 and he wrote all of them down and then we went on stage we all sang ocean man it was great and then the naruto opening came on we were all into it and then we realized oh we didn't request the opening version we requested the full version and the full version's five minutes long

oh god everyone passed out because that's i don't know if you know that song that song has a lot of screaming i was the only one which one is the age is it uh wait everybody's there okay yeah yeah that one has a lot of yelling like pure yelling not it's not even doesn't even count as singing my voice was fucked by the end and then some fucking huge canadian dude shows up and he was like oh wait pass me the mic a and they're like no no we got one more oh no friend I'm pretty sure it's me no David why can't you be like that why can't you have it I cuz I'm from the east is from the bad we told him no I'm pretty sure we have Brian Adams Summer of 69. And then I turn around and it says,

next song, fucking whatever by Bruce Springsteen. Oh. He's like, oh, come on, kid, pass me the mic. Like, he was fucking old.

He was old and fat, but he was sick. So he grabbed the mic and at every lyric, because he was smashed, every time he sang one lyric, he turned to one of us and go,

you know Bruceuce springsteen he's one of the greats and we were just watching him go at it and then he was also doing air guitar which was pretty sick i'll give him that and then we thought this guy was pretty cool so we were like hey dude all our songs are done like he totally forgot about summer of 69 he didn't play it let's go get some shots and then the bad vibes started happening oh no when oh oh no walked up to the counter and he said, hey, bartender, can you change out of these fucking gay sports

and play some hockey? I don't want to watch fucking soccer. Oh, no. Oh, no. Jesus. Now that's more like David. So where are you guys from? And then Rexy took the lead and he went, oh, I'm so. So, where are you guys from? And then Rexy took the lead

and he went, oh, I'm from Canada, these two are from Florida, and he's from Portugal. Portugal, eh? Oh, that's your fucking problem. Oh my god. Holy shit,

can we get this guy on the podcast? Oh my god. I'm telling you right now, Portugal and soccer are some of the gayest things on the planet Earth. But I'll tell you one thing, the Portuguese, they have great hair.

Jesus Christ. I was getting so many mixed signals from these guys, I was like thanks oh no no problem my girlfriend's portuguese too she's fucking hot and then he said we have a daughter too and then i asked is she hot he went nah He went, nah. Jesus Christ. I mean, not really any right answer there. And then we went, whoa, come on. Then he went, nah, I'm kidding.

She's pretty hot. And then we were, what? He went for both of the wrong answers. He hit both sides. Jesus Christ. He flipped the coin and it landed on the edge we got both we got the best of both worlds and then he said a bunch of other awful shit that i for the life of me cannot remember but he did say one more thing that I was,

that was pretty much the bit where we all went, we got to ditch this fucking guy. We were already getting pretty bad vibes from this dude. Cause he was very loud too. The bit where we said we have to ditch this man was when we got four shots cause he was in the bathroom and he came back and he was like, all right, let's do some shots. And then he went, Oh no, this one's for our friend. And and he came back and he was like, all right, let's do some shots. And he went, oh no, this one's for our friend.

And then he said, and I quote, well, you only ordered four. What am I black? Oh no. Oh no. I don't want this guy. And then, and then we just looked at each other and we took the shots and we just fucking left. Jesus Christ, dude.

Fuck, wow. You give him Inward Carl's number first? To be fair, he didn't drop any N-bombs. Good on you, man. What was it? We'd hang in there. Little bonus fact. When we went outside, we met up with these dudes,

with this group of dudes like our age that were here too, and they were all from Toronto. It was a big group of people that came from Toronto. And we were like, oh, dude, we just do not go in the karaoke bar. That fucking weird Canadian dude is in there. And then one of the guys from Toronto went, oh, is it my dad?

Oh! I knew where that was going immediately. No, no, no, no. He's not actually my dad. He's just a fat Canadian dude that hangs out at the karaoke bar all the time and constantly wants me to call him my dad. Oh, Jesus.

So I think him calling soccer and Portugal gay might have been him projecting a little bit. Maybe. Seems that way. and then we were just talking about how funny that dude was and then I said oh yeah apparently has a really hot daughter and then and then one of the guy goes oh no dude I've met her daughter she's fucking hot and well that's it for the 50 year old Canadian man the big fan of Bruce Springsteen and Jesus. Not a bit.

Not a big. He's one of the greats. And he was not a fan of Portugal or soccer. In fairness, you're not a big fan of Portugal or any sport that wasn't hockey. I know that's true, but I'm

allowed to not be a fan of Portugal because I'm from Portugal. It's true. Jesus fucking Christ. What's next? There's a big list here. Yeah.

I know. I know. Well, there's not much of a story for the Earth. I feel like a lot of this is just a part of the incel story. Like nightclub. Most of it, yeah. The nightclub one's already done. The let's get sad isn't really a story.

It's just whenever me and Dave got any type of drinks, we just clinked our glasses together and then we said, yeah, let's get sad. Did it work? Oh yeah, we just went to the bathroom. Oh yeah, real easy. One of the nights we were actually getting sad, me and Dave just did not feel

like going out anymore. So we just like wanted to stay in. And Charlie and Rexy were like, come on, dude, let's go out. Like, we're only here for five days. And we're like, OK, fair enough. Dave, let's have a quick power nap for one hour. Then we'll wake up in one hour and we'll go out. And he said, you're going to set an alarm?

And I went, no, don't worry, man. I got a good mental clock. And then we just looked at each other and Dave went yeah i just set an alarm and i was like yeah you're right you're right and then i grabbed my phone i just looked at it and i just went i turned on the alarm and i went mental clock i kind of i kind of want to prove a point and i turned off the alarm And then we woke up at noon. Rexy was very upset. Oh, man.

You pulled a Cameron. What else is there? I feel like I'm pretty much done here. Oh, right. Okay. The naps and pizza one is really good. Because after that night, we kept making jokes about how we constantly drink during the day and we just sleep during the night where everyone actually goes out and where you're actually supposed to go out and then like at night we'd just be tired and we wouldn't even go out to eat we'll just order room service and they had this really fucking bad and greasy pizza that

we'd constantly order so we had like eight boxes of it and most of them weren't even finished right jesus and at some point rex was getting really fucking angry this was like on the last two days and he was like i can't fucking take eating pizza anymore we're going out tonight and then he was like getting ready he was like like showering. He was shaving again. He was putting on hair gel. And then while he was in the shower, me, Trelli and Dave were all showered. We were waiting for him because he takes fucking ages. He's like the guy that's like, oh, we're going out.

We're going out. I'll give me a second. It was like like a fucking basketball jersey. OK, let's go. No, dude. So we're just chilling playing smash waiting for x you get done and then like trellie just looks at me and he goes yo ed you seen those and it's the fucking two year two year old two days old boxes of pizza i go yeah i see them they look pretty fucking tasty and then without saying a word trellis opens the box i think he opened the oldest one and just grabbed the slice and took a giant bite out of it and i could like while he was tasting

it i feel like i could taste it too when he was chewing it you know that like that really wet cold pizza sound oh yeah the squish wait did you guys have it in the fridge no it was out on the fucking counter man there was no refrigeration going on in that pizza and then Dave starts gagging

and I start gagging too but then I'm like this is pretty funny and then I grab a slice and I start gagging too but then i'm like this is this is pretty funny and then i grab a slice and i start taking a bucket i can't believe trelly's like man two day old pizza hits kind of different and then you guys said cheers we turned today we're like you want in on this and they was like leaned over the couch like We go yo, Rexy and he was in the shower It's like what we just point at the at our pizza in our hands that has like at least two bites taken out of it And then Rexy fucking lurches over the sink and he's like you guys are fucking ass Toilet nice swear to, he vomits for five minutes straight.

What? Really? Ew. Because he kept warning us, if you guys open these, if I see this fucking pizza ever again, I swear I'm going to vomit. And then we didn't show him the pizza for 24 hours. And then we just go, yo, check this out. And we're just chowing down on him.

You guys fucking him the entire room just smells like old peeps oh my god you guys failed human evolution holy shit I can't believe you or he threw up from that like wow that's some weak stomach shit yeah and then when Rex was done

vomiting he was like can we fucking go out please and then me Charlie and their slicky show like, I don't know, man. I'm kind of tired. Let's get some naps. Oh, God. And he was just getting so mad. And then we kept making a fucking pizza nap joke while he was on the couch, just on his phone.

I could tell he was gripping his phone so angry not looking at us while we're making these jokes and then either me or dave made another pizza joke and rex just went oh yeah guys keep going these jokes definitely aren't getting old and then i just went yo speaking of old pass me that pizza Fucking Christ. Did he vomit again? Nah, he didn't. He just yelled. Oh yeah, at some point he was like, I swear to God, guys, if we don't go out in the next five minutes, I'm gonna start screaming. And then he did. He started screaming for like a minute straight.

And then he went, I'm not gonna stop until we either get a noise complaint or we fucking go out. Oh. Oh, God. So Rex is a virgin? and they go yeah yeah I was going through the group chat to try and find pictures that could jog my memory I just found this instead hang on I'll put it in general oh jesus dude dude you could you could tell it's like i can smell that yeah that looks fucking awful it looks so like dried grease and at the same time like none of the grease

was on the crust at the top it looks like there's just flour on it fucking dried at the top. It was definitely dry. Oh, God. It's pretty tasty. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty tired, actually. Yeah, I don't know. I think... Which one of the stories that you're going to tell us unplugged, is that in the topics chat? Yes.

Is that Mama Juana? It has to be amanda mama juana mama juana was a the name of a drink that uh they had and i don't remember why i typed that in oh i think that was just us taking shots with the canadian why why did i type that in i swear there was a story regarding that is it connor no no it's the one after dave Amanda? Why are you being cagey about it? Who is Amanda? Because I have to be cagey about it. Do you know Amanda? I'm very familiar with Amanda.

Did you tell Amanda you have a podcast? Hey Amanda, if you're listening to this, He's not telling any stories about you. Amanda, if you're listening to this I should have said yes take him back Amanda does that wrap up the punta saga

yeah pretty much punta saga are you dying? What the fuck is going on? I drank some water because I just felt filthy. I need to close this JPEG of the fucking pizza. Just delete it. Just delete it from general. Oh, I'm not looking at general anymore.

I'm leaving that there. That's fucking nasty. My vibes are all fucking bad now. Oh, I mean, I have a couple more. Oh, wait! I haven't told you the best one. I'm a retard. Hello. I didn't write down the topics.

I'm stupid. So our vacation was technically. This is how long our reservations were. Our reservations were from the 18th to the 23rd. Check in at 11 a.m. on the 18th. Check out at 11 a.m. on the 23rd. Remember these dates. But my plane tickets were from

I didn't even listen to the first time. 18th to 23rd. I got it. But my plane tickets were from the 16th to the 24th. Those are different dates. Because when I tried to buy my tickets, last minute they told me that they wouldn't take PayPal. So I had to wait a day for that money to transfer to my bank.

And then by the time I transferred the money to my bank, the tickets that were on the 18th were all sold out. Oh no. So I went, eh, fuck it. The tickets that put me there on the 16th are cheaper anyway. How bad is it going to be? Well, then. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So did you get tickets, like plane tickets, without getting, like, hotel?

No, we reserved the hotel from the 18th to the 23rd. He's asking if you bought them separately. Oh, yeah, we did buy them separately, yes. We bought the resort separately, and then we bought our plane tickets. So you had nowhere to stay from the 16th to the 17th. Well, here's the thing. My plan was like, well, I mean, it's just a two-night layover. It's not that bad.

And then Trelli told me, well, if you don't want to stay at the airport, you can just get a taxi. You can just go to the resort and tell them, hey, I landed earlier. Can I just stay at the resort and fuck around? That's not. Oh, you're fucking. Can I just. Trelli said, well, you just tell them you landed earlier.

You can just chill by the pool. And I went, Trelli, that is a fantastic idea. Oh, yo, no. You can't entirely blame that on trelli you're a moron for believing that no no i i blame that on me that all of all of what i'm about to tell you was a hundred percent my fault anyway yikes continuing so i land in punta cana and originally i i honestly thought there's no way that resort plan is going to work i'm going to stay at the hotel i mean at the hotel, at the fucking airport.

What I didn't realize is that if anyone listening has ever been to Punta Cana, staying at the Punta Cana airport overnight is kind of impossible because it's outdoors. There's no walls. Yeah. So it was kind of weird to stay in a place that has no walls. It's basically a bus terminal. Like you get out, there's just a bunch of fucking buses. Yeah, exactly.

There's a bunch of buses and taxis trying to steal your organs. I'm just there and I'm covered in mosquitoes, which, by the way, are the bites are still here. They're all over my fucking feet. I don't know why. Nowhere else in my body is covered in mosquito bites. It's just my feet. I'll send him to johnny he's gonna love these you're a cunt um and then i'm just there like okay well i'm gonna try the plan trelli told me because i don't want to fucking stay in a place that has no walls so i get uh it but the thing is i sit at the

airport way too long for me to make my decision because by the time I realized I should probably go to the resort instead. It was midnight. And the buses stopped. No, there was no buses. I mean, there was buses, but you're supposed to get a taxi. It's easier. OK, so I went outside and I was like going to the taxi area.

There was no one there. So I went up to a very nice lady that was just getting off her shift. And I said, where are the taxis? And all she did was look at me and then give me her phone, which was open on Google Translate. And I just typed in the English section, where are taxis? And then it translated to Spanish. And then we just went back and forth. And then she called a taxi driver that she knew.

Oh, that's sweet. And I was like, all right, thank you very much. And then I got in the taxi bad vibes started happening when i noticed that all of the leather of the seats was torn and i went i mean can't be can't be that bad at least it's a car that works 10 minutes into the drive oh no there's a loud noise and then I start hearing this like loose rubbery sound and the driver just starts laughing like a maniac and I'm like

and I'm like what happened and he's just like problem he just looks at me raises one finger and goes problem okay which finger what's the problem and then he slowly stops the car on the side of the road oh no

and then he goes to the back seat and he gets a spare tire and he just slaps on the side and i go oh flat tire and he went yes yes i i i asked him do you need any help and he goes how are you okay so i just sat in the front seat thinking i was gonna get murdered yep yeah it took him at least an hour or two to fucking fix it and at some point i think his wife called him because someone called him and his positive demeanor immediately shattered. And I can kind of speak Spanish and I could kind of tell he was just saying I'll be home soon. So that was definitely his wife. Or his husband. Yes,

exactly. The Dominican Republic is very progressive. Thank you, Avery. So he puts the tire in and he goes, okay, let's go. And then I ask him him how long till the resort he said uh 25 minutes 30 minutes like all right fair enough so the murdery feelings started dissipating until the last five minutes of the trip we just went like it was just roads and like fast food places and gas stations you you know, civilization. Yeah. And then suddenly we hit the favelas.

Oh. And I go, I don't think this is where a resort is. Oh my God. And that lasts for like five minutes where I think, okay, this is it. He's going to drive me somewhere where they're going to put me in the bathtub, knock me out, and I'm going to wake up without the rest of my kidneys. But turns out, we're good. The resort is actually just past some favelas

for some reason. And then I get to the resort. And then Charlie tells me, just hang around the lobby. They won't, like, kick you out unless you look suspicious. I'm like, alright, I'll pretend like I belong. The thing is, I get to the resort at at least 2 a.m.

At the earliest. Guess how many people are trying to fuck around in the lobby at 2 a.m.? I'm going to guess not a lot. The correct guess would be one 50-year-old drunk couple. And that's it

so I was like they won't get on my ass so I sat in the chair in the lobby I got on my phone I started watching Goodfellas because I hadn't seen it yet I had it downloaded on my phone and then 10 minutes into the movie I start glancing up at the receptionist

they're both looking at me and I'm like eh they're probably wondering why I'm in the lobby at this late of an hour. And then one of them walks over and he goes, are you here to check in or are you here to check out? And then, you know, a very awkward conversation begins where I tell him, oh yeah, I have a reservation

under Frelli's full name. And he went, okay, I can't find it. What day does it start? And I went, um, the 18th. And he went, what? They went okay. I can't find it. What day does it start and I went? Yeah Yeah the 18th that is two days from now No one yeah, I mean I just chill in the lobby, you know while i wait no i'll just chill here like i'm good okay pretend i'm not even here exactly oh my god i'm six four i'm inconspicuous

you're fucking and then he tells me that that is not possible my friend i just go okay so what do we do? And he says, well. And then he says, well, I mean, what you can do. Here's what we do. I give you a room for the next two nights. At first my brain goes, oh, it's for free. And then I instantly go, no, it's not. And then he's checking.

I will check for the cheapest one. And I go, okay, perfect. Yes. And then he goes, okay will check for the cheapest one and i go okay perfect yes then he goes okay i found cheapest one it will be because he put it on the calculator because he was calculating already for like two nights in total it would be he only told me the number 734 and then and then my head i go oh thank god they have fucking monopoly money this shit is like what eight dollars they go yeah sure i'll pay and i start getting like the fucking dominican money oh, thank God, they have fucking monopoly money. This shit is like, what, $8? They go, yeah, sure, I'll pay. And I start getting the fucking Dominican money out. And he goes, oh, no, my friend, it's US dollar. Oh.

Oh. You called their money monopoly money? And then I just go, okay well that's that won't do what else can we do oh no it won't that will not be 700 oh dude i going to go chill in the favelas. This fucking story is stressing me the fuck out. I have anxiety. Holy shit.

And then he goes, here's what I can do. I can call a different, cheaper hotel. The manager. He's my friend. I will call him for you. And then here's the thing with the Dominican Republic. I always told people I didn't speak Spanish, but I do. I don't speak it, but I can understand it. So whenever they talk shit about me, I'd know.

It didn't really give me an advantage, but I just get sad. It gives me an advantage, but then I get sad. Let's get sad so i could tell these guys were trying to shit me oh no like he was like on the phone with the guy and he was like yeah i got this schmuck that came two days earlier and then he was like getting the price and he was like oh okay so uh i just got off the phone with my friend. The hotel is fully booked. I'm going to call a different one.

And I got like halfway through Goodfellas while he was like finding it. To be fair, he was pretty nice. He did call a bunch of different hotels to try and get me a room. I mean, he was probably like going to get a cut from it or something. Yeah, that's probably why. And then he comes back to you and goes, well, I'm sorry. All my manager friends, all the hotel is fully booked.

What I can do for you is I can call a cab and you go stay at the airport. Oh my god. I love this story. Jesus. A little bit of context. When he was trying to check for my reservation He had to take my passport

And then he basically held my passport hostage For the entire time So I couldn't like run While he was checking for hotels So he'd make sure I'd like stay in the lobby While he was like checking that I wasn't like I don't know Wait why would he be scared of you running

Where are you gonna run to Exactly to Favelas. I don't know. Like because the hotel is pretty big and if you're just fucking around you actually do look like a customer. Why weren't you walking around? Why were you trying to chill in the lobby

where everyone is? Yeah. Why didn't you just go in a bar or something I was tired I wasn't thinking anyway he says I call your cab you go stay at the airport

I'm like alright fuck it that was my plan from the start who cares I'll just sleep and then he calls the cab and then I get to the airport and then the cab driver I pay the cab driver and the cab driver gets a call and then he passed me the phone and the guy goes my friend i still have your passport oh oh my fucking god ed oh get back in the cab drive the 30 minutes back to get the passport pay the cab driver

get back in the cab again you could have just bought the hotel room at this point yeah holy shit no I could have yeah I could have how expensive was all that each cab ride was $40

Jesus dude and you took what 5? you're a fucking idiot no I took 4 wow yeah it's a little bit anyway and then I was like you know it's whatever I'll just get on the airport wifi and I'll watch it on my phone

cause I had a charger I'll just be on my phone for like 2 days straight that's fucking everyone can do that I mean it's gonna get boring but whatever I can like message people who cares and then I'm on my discord and I'm like messaging the boys I'm telling them what happened they're laughing in my face

of course I'm gonna go watch I'm gonna go watch shit that I downloaded on Netflix and I'm watching it and I want to get on the Wi-Fi again to message people. And then it says, oh, your session timed out. I go, huh, that's weird.

I guess the Wi-Fi just turns off when it's like 3 a.m. Then I went to sleep. Then I woke up on the 17th at like 10 a.m. or something, and I still wouldn't let me log in. And then I go to the counter, and I ask them, hey, how come the airport Wi-Fi doesn't work? Oh, you only get 30 minutes, and then you get locked out.

Jesus, Ed. Did they take your clothes next, too? Wow. So this is the 17th at 10 a.m. The boys land the next day at 1 p.m what do you think i did for more than 24 hours nothing was there no way to pay to get more wi-fi nope no they told me oh but if you once you're past uh once you're past check-in once you like have boarding pass and you check in you're inside airport then it's unlimited oh nice did you buy a plane ticket

yes i did your cheapest flight wait wait are you serious no of course oh i don't know okay you sounded serious i i believe yeah dude fucking after everything you've just told us i believe anything and then yeah i just chill in the lobby i was just on my phone i was just like i think at one i think at some certain parts i got like start getting delusional most of the time i was just writing shit on my google keep notes like just my thoughts at one, I'm pretty sure I wrote a fan fiction. Oh, yeah? What?

Because I was that bored. Was it a PST fan fiction? No. Was it a Smite fan fiction? Not a real fan. Oh, it was a JoJo fan fiction, wasn't it? Yes. And then at one point, I think I wrote a song?

I don't know. It was, and then I just like started I watched Goodfellas like five times how was it? because it was like one of the only movies on my phone it was pretty good really good movie it's pretty long it's really boring after the fourth watch

it's really predictable I can just see you like as soon as it ends the third time you're just like, and dragging the meter back to the beginning. That's exactly it. For most of them, I just stop the movie and then I'm like, all right, break time. And I just get on Keep Notes and I just write down, I'm going to kill myself. This is the worst. Why didn't you try to go find something to do?

Looking back at our DMsms i love just seeing the moment where hey sorry i'm in putakana shit wi-fi here lol and then i send like three messages and you send the first two parts of a thought and then you stop for two days and there it is and what did you do what did you do on the last day then because the last day you also didn't have a fucking hotel oh on the last i mean i mean i went to sleep again got more mosquito bites and then i woke up and i was just like dude it was thrilling i was just looking at the clock like they landed five hours they landed five hours and i was just like counting like

actions that i could do to make time go fast. Like if I go take a shit, that's going to be like at least 30 minutes. And then. So I was just like, I was just chowing. I was just chowing on protein bars at the fucking snack bar so I could shit fast and so I could shit more. And I could. Time would go faster.

I love you experiencing more ways to dilate time. That's incredible and then i just like on the last like hour i was like how long does it take to walk across the entire airport and then i just like started doing that like get some exercise so i was sitting down and i was like damn this is fun i'm just like walking from arrivals to departures and then departures to a ride this is fun and then once once 1 p.m hit i was like i'm gonna go to arrivals i'm gonna wait for trellian dave and then i realized shit their flight's not listed in arrivals and i walked back oh no and then i realized wait didn't i message them yesterday saying i was gonna chill at departures the entire time and then i realized it's 1.30 and they're still not here. And I'm like, oh god.

Oh god, they lost me. And then I got so desperate that on the 17th I started using fucking my international data plan and that ran out in like 10 minutes. That ran out like instantly. And then I realized if I don't have my

international data plan and I don't have WiFi-Fi, how the fuck do I contact them? Yeah. So instead, I'm going on my phone and I'm praying to God that I have Trelli's phone number. And then I look at his phone number and I go, if my international data plan is done, that means I probably can't afford to call him. Like it probably won't let me call him, right? So if I call this number and it doesn't work, they're never going to see me. They aren't going to find me.

Holy shit. So I call it, and the only good thing happened. It actually started fucking ringing. And I have never been so happy to hear trelly's voice trelly went ed think fuck where are you i like how it sounds like you've been stranded on a like deserted island for days it took him like an hour to find me we're like on the phone because the airport was actually

way bigger than i thought it was and then when they finally found me they it was it was them too because rexy landed at 3 p.m it was them too and some like fucking weird dude with ray bands like super tan and he come up to me and just like hugged me he was like i I finally found you, my friend. I was like, sure. My name is Tony. And I go, oh, my name's Ed. Nice to meet you. And then Charlie was like, dude, this man is the only one that wanted to help us. We went up to like a bunch of taxis

and we kept asking him, does anyone know where the parters are? We need to find the information desk. And every single taxi driver went up to us and said, hey, forget about your friend. I give you a good deal. $20 taxi. What? Where do you need to go friend jesus christ tony was the only guy that would help us and then we got in the cab with tony and i was telling them all the fucking horror stories

and i was telling them listen i know this airport like the back of my ass i got you so i was just like walking them through it and then we got to the car and tony was like hey call me call my name is tony tony transfer but you can call me tony montana because no one party like tony montana and then he got a little he got a little white bag out of his pocket oh no and he started tapping it next to his nostril. And he was like, you guys want to party like Tony Montana? And Tony was like, no, we're good. And at this point, I was so like, this was like rescuing a man from the desert.

I was fucking zoned out. So I just went up to him and I was like, what is that? And he gave me the bag and I started sniffing it. I was like oh, that's cocaine Like not snorting it. I was just like smelling it just yeah, yeah, of course he's safe. Hey, can't don't do drugs, please And then I just gave him back cocaine he was like hey like just let me know my name's Tony Montana You need coke you need weed you need crack i'm your guy here's my card he had a card he had a card a card called tony transfer and of course you still have it no charlie kept it fuck oh yeah and then we said tony we need your help because we have a friend that lands at 3 p.m. Can you go back to the airport and go pick him up too?

Oh, yes, of course. I'll make a sign. And he actually made a fucking, he didn't even write it. He printed out a sign that said Rexy's full name on it and fucking Comic Sans. What a hero. Wow. Jesus. That's amazing.

And you didn't even buy cocaine from him. That's just inconsiderate. Dude. and you didn't even buy cocaine from him. That's just inconsiderate. Dude, Dave in the last couple of days was like man, I keep getting sad from drinks let's just call Tony. So, note to self, if I ever go to the Dominican Republic, I gotta find Tony

Montana. Tony transfers. Ask for Tony transfer. Wasn't it until the 23rd that you had your hotel? Yes. What did you do on the 24th? The thing is, here's what happened.

I landed on the 24th. My plane was actually on the 23rd too. So we're all checking what time our flights are because checkout was at 11am. And then we're like, how are your flights? Ricky's like, Oh, mine's at noon.

And then Charlie's like, Oh, mine's at, mine's at 2 PM. Ed, Ed, when's yours? And I go,

I actually, I never checked. So I go, you're such an idiot because it said the 23rd. So, you know, I was happy with those flights and I just put a hand to my face and I go, Oh my fucking God.

And they're like, what? It's at 11.30pm okay that's better than 3am yeah it is better I mean that would be on the yeah dude fuck and then I spent 9 hours at that airport and I was like well it's fine I'll go to the airport

I actually have a boarding pass now you know I actually have a flight to go to so I can go through the fucking. I actually have a boarding pass now. You know? I actually have a flight to go to. So I can go through the fucking gates. Have Wi-Fi. And get the normal Wi-Fi. Oh my fucking God. David, let me finish.

So I went to the airport. And I was looking for where to check in. Because I needed my fucking boarding pass. And then I couldn't find it. It was Air Europa. That specific airline. I couldn't find a single thing. And then I couldn't find it. It was Air Europa, that specific airline. I couldn't find a single thing. And then I went to the board

and it said it should be desks 31 to 40. Desks 31 through 40 were some weird shit instead of Air Europa. So I go to the info desk and I go, hey, I'm trying to check into

this Air Europa flight and I don't see any Air Europa check-in desks. And then the info lady says, what's your flight number? And I give her my flight number. And then she checks and she goes, is it the flight to Brussels at 1130?

And I go, yes. Oh, you can't check in. You can only check in three hours before your flight. Oh my God. What? Really? No way. Ed, what the?

Are you podcasting from the airport yeah really live from Punta Cana airport so oh basically

back to protein bars and lots of shitting because the best part is I didn't know my flight was at 1130 so while I was in the resort I I didn't download anything to watch. Oh my god, dude.

So back to Goodfellas. Back to writing. You watched Goodfellas again? Back to writing my fucking manifesto on Google Keep. Holy shit. Ed. Fucking idiot. Yeah, that was my holiday. holy shit ed you fucking idiot oh yeah

that was that was my holiday that was my quote unquote holiday and I'm back it's quite good the good outweigh the bad was it worth it can we move on

holy fucking shit I have no idea where to go I'm like yo Kyle Can we move on? Holy fucking shit. I have no idea where to go from here. Yo, Kyle, hang on, hang on. That's fucking horrifying. Kyle, do you have any traumatic experiences you need to share? Nope, nope, nope. No, my life is sick. That's fucking horrifying, dude.

You probably should have just gone to the yeah honestly you might have had a good time like Tony would have definitely helped you with the last day you should have fucked up with Tony I could have just took some crack

dude those last days would have gone by in a flash just fucking call up Tony hey I want a good time. Can you help me? I didn't know Tony in the first few days. You might have found him, though. I know. That's true.

So start taking cab rides around the past the time. Hey, where are you going? Take me to a party. What was all y'all's first exposure to, like, drug abuse? My dad. I went to a furry convention. Really? That was the first?

I mean... Well, I mean, marijuana also counts. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Well... To drug abuse? I'm not talking about, like, fucking... The first snorting coke off someone's dick or something.

Does it have to be abuse or just use? I was thinking abuse because I was going to mention that. I think I've talked about it briefly on the podcast before. The dude who went to my middle school who was held back two years just getting barred out in the cafeteria at lunch one time.

No, I don't remember this. Have I not mentioned that? I think you posted this one time? No, I don't remember this. Have I not mentioned that? I think you posted this in Topics, but I don't think... Oh, yeah. Dude got barred out at lunch in middle school. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's not the story.

The story is me remembering why I got kicked out of my shop class in middle school. Oh, right. But this guy was in that class. So, I mean, that's basically that entire story. But that was how I found out about drugs, essentially. Or that's how I found out people use drugs, because I just thought drugs were something that people made up for, like, NCIS and shit. I didn't think they existed. I mean, I guess I kind of knew they existed, but I was, like, operating under the assumption that, like, it's like, oh, no one I know is ever going to do drugs.

Oh, no. Which is really funny when you think about the fact that Ed and I lived together for a while. I, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so I guess that's, yeah. So I, um, I told a joke in the recall review ages ago. Yeah. I couldn't remember like the specifics of it. And it's about how I was forced to sit outside of my shop class, like outside of the school,

like on a piece of paper with my name on it. And I'd forgotten like everything leading up to that point. So when I was in elementary and middle school school and I had a conversation with Mandy about this because we both did the same shit where we would try to come up with schemes to make money like we were trying to buy jawbreakers and ed ed and eddy or some shit and uh a big one I had in middle school was when I started taking shop class I designed these really easy to make little wooden dude like figures it was like uh i mean it was just a shitty little wooden figure dude that was like also a square and you could just like throw it i don't i don't really know what it was for

you can throw it it would always land on a side it was not this is brilliant but uh you could make them really really quickly so i would just be sneaking um like scrap wood and when i was i would like rush through and finish all my projects really quickly but then i would hide them and i would continue working using scrap wood to make these little dudes and i would be selling them uh to other people and people were buying them because everyone in middle school is a fucking idiot or they're barred out of their minds apparently but barred out is xanax if you guys didn't know yeah so eventually my shop teacher uh discovers that uh i've been doing this and i am forced to sit in the corner and I'm not allowed to do any more of my projects and I just get a C grade on all of them for the rest of the year. Jesus, really?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't think, I don't think that's like allowed by the school, but that was the punishment. I was not allowed to do any projects anymore, but I didn't get detention. So, you know, it was fine. Yep. But an effect of me

sitting in the corner is that the shop class is really loud so he wasn't paying attention to me like and he also spent a lot of time in his office so i would leave the corner and i would be recruiting people to make the little square dudes for me and i would tell them that they could get a cut and uh they're doing all the work but i'm the mastermind yeah i'm the one selling i'm the one out there on the streets dude you're the kingpin i'm the distributor and the ideas guy so i have two people working for me at this point i have two employees in my shop class uh hardworking boys very good big recommend they are making my little wooden square men and eventually one of them drops one on the floor and doesn't notice that they dropped it while they were walking back to their table

and my shop teacher comes out of his office, and he's going to look at everyone's progress over the day, and he finds a little square dude, and his fucking face flips like 90 degrees and looks at me. And I'm just sitting in the corner, and I just shrug. I don't know. I didn't touch it. I haven't moved.

And he squints. And he starts looking well yeah because he was paying attention he would pay he would notice if i was using the tools i was luring people over to my corner like a fucking gremlin to get them in on my square scheme so he starts paying closer attention and the next over the course of the next week he catches the two people that i had recruited so now there's a boy in three corners each like one of three corners of the room there's my corner there's two and there's the other two boys corners and i am a very hard worker and i really believed in this project so i have recruited two more people

at this point jesus christ no i recruited one more person at this point and no it was two it was two i recruited two more people they eventually get caught because of course they do because he's paying attention now yeah but i think i've got him beat i'm like i'm a genius what are you gonna do there's five of us how many corners are in this room because i thought i thought if he's out of corners he can't do anything he's a wood teacher he can just just make more corners. There was definitely four corners. Yeah, there was only four corners. His initial plan was to put me in the far recessed corner

because there was like these unused sinks and there was like a little cubby beyond the room that I was forced to sit in where there were no lights. Jesus Christ. I really was like a little shop goblin getting people to make my square men. Oh my God. Jesus Christ I really was like a little shop goblin Getting people To make my square men Oh my god

So eventually he runs out Of corners And I don't actually have him Had because he just takes out A big piece of paper Writes my name on it and then puts it outside And says go sit on it Jesus writes my name on it, and then puts it outside and says, go sit on it.

Jesus. And I'm like, okay. And I turn in to edit the airport because I have an iPod Touch that I couldn't use while I was in the classroom. And I just start watching. I start downloading movies onto it. How? I mean, I'm not exactly like Ed. I don't, not at school.

I mean, school had a Wi-Fi. No, I'm saying how the fuck do you download movies on an ipod touch i had one of those that shit was impossible you could i was renting them on itunes i wasn't like yeah yeah i was renting movies on itunes and uh i was just watching them and i eventually was like that tree like across the little bus drive looks pretty comfy to sit under. And I started sitting under the tree. And he would just never come out and check on you? He wouldn't bother checking. Wow.

Because I figured he wouldn't. That's why I was watching shit on my iPod. And at one point, I just started drawing on the little piece of paper with my name on it to personalize it. Because I was like, if this is my home now, I want my home to be nice. How much were you selling those pieces for? I don't even fucking remember. Like a buck? I used to do this.

I actually used to do the same thing, but with erasers. I would just get erasers and make shapes with scissors and shit. I'd cut them into stars. And people would buy them for a dollar. Nice. I used to sell fake Yu-Gi-Oh cards. That was about it. Mandy had a fake Yu-Gi-Oh game that he made.

With like all... I forget what it was. Mandy and I both had a lot of schemes. Mandy had a big one where he tried to monetize the water fountains at the school okay nice i don't i don't know that story i i know i know i know yeah sorry but i'm not actually done with my story because one time when i was sitting under the tree the vice principal would make the rounds of the school every once in a while and look at the and like look at the teachers and he would show up unannounced. And I was just chilling across the bus drive under the tree.

And he walked over and I didn't know he was coming. I was watching Zoolander. And so he walks over and he like, and I noticed when he gets close because I'm a child and this is an adult. So I think I'm about to die. And he, he asks, what are you doing out here?

And I said, Oh, I'm not allowed in the shop. And he was like, why? And I was like, I was making square men. Did you say word for word you were making square men?

I think so. I was making these square men and I had one because i kept it because i thought these things are sick so i just had it in my bag uh no i had it in my binder because we weren't allowed to have our backpacks in the classrooms because middle school made a lot of sense yeah but uh i had it in my little fucking zip up binder and i whipped it out and i was like look i got a little square you want it i wish, he didn't think it was sick at all. He went and he talked to the fucking shop teacher and he was like,

why are you disciplining a student and making him sit outside across the bus drive for something in class instead of going to the principal's office and having him disciplined the right way

and he said I didn't tell him to sit across the circle drive and then the principal looks at me and I just give my patented shrug and the fucking credits roll and I found out because that was when i was in um that was when i was in eighth grade i found

out after i graduated went to high school because my brother went to the same uh same school and i asked him hey you what's up with the you taking shop or? And he's like, no, we don't have shop as an elective anymore. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. Wow. Man, I think I might still have one of the square men. I would need to look. Just make one.

I don't have a fucking saw. But they're so easy to make. Just make one. I definitely saw some type of saw in your garage. They're easy to make when you have a fucking saw! But they're so easy to make, just make one. I definitely saw some type of saw in your garage. They're easy to make when you have a fucking belt saw. You wanna have one? Get a belt saw, what? Yeah. Okay, yeah, you're right. I could be selling these things for a buck.

Yeah, you could sell that shit as merch, bro. That's the saw page. On your stream, I need a saw. I gotta make my square, man. Just carve a little PST into it and sell it for $80. Just add it as a goal on the PST Patreon donation goal.

Just say, at $1,000, Avery buys a saw. Speaking of the... Please stop talking Patreon. If you're part of the $2.10 and above, you can ask a question for the patreon question time and the best question gets a square man what's a square man what does it look like i like the third most recent one that one what is it who said it jan de olivierda and he says what's your favorite character in media

wherever it may be from and are they a straight mom or a gay dad gay dad oh oh wait single favorite character wait wait let's let's let's just let's let's try to guess i'm gonna say mine i'm just gonna say what what they are oh and we guess if he's a gay mom or straight dad. Okay, I'm alright with that. Oh wait, no. I thought it was the opposite. I was just gonna say straight mom. And you guys guessed like... That is not a 50-50 shot. There's so

many characters we can pick from. Do you know how many characters in media exist? No, but I'm alright with David's because that means it's a more interesting guess, you know? It is way more interesting. His taste. Straight mom. Sora.

Fuck. Can I do another one? Can I do another one? No no that was your one gay dad gay dad mickey donald eddie you're the only one who could possibly guess this oh i think i i think i know i'm not in on the whole wait i i don't know i don't know his i don't know I know it's a Jojo Is it Wheelchairman? It's not a Jojo It's a character from Jojo

Wheelchairman? Who are you talking about? It's not Johnny But Wheelchairman is clearly Johnny What? You just said it's not Johnny What the fuck are you talking about? It's not Johnny I said it's not Johnny. What the fuck are you talking about?

It's not Johnny. He said it's not Johnny. I said it's not Wheelchair Man. What's happening? David's the one who said Wheelchair Man. Oh, for me? No! Oh my goodness. What? Gay dad. I don't know. I didn't watch that far.

Who is my favorite character in all of media? They are a gay dad. Oh, I thought David said gay dad. No. Because we said David gets one. I know. It sounded like David's voice. It's Gyro. Shut up. Jesus.

Christ, move on. Don't dwell on it. Kyle. Okay, I'm just thinking of one person in particular, but i feel like i want to say and then have you guys debate whether he's a straight okay okay okay is master chief a gay dad or a straight mom master chief is your favorite character in all the fiction no i don't think so but it's just the one that's coming to mind right now i don't know i feel like he's I feel like Master Chief's a straight mom I think Master Chief's a gay dad to be honest

I've only played the first half of Halo 1 He's only a gay dad when you play him online in matchmaking and he's a 12 year old Wait why are 12 year olds gay dads? You can hear David being bitter about the fact that he's a straight mom You can hear David being bitter over all the teabags he got.

Have I ever explained that the reason that I know Kyle is like really, really extrapolated from the fact that I got really mad about someone's guest on Xbox Live teabagging me on Snowbound? You've explained it, yes. Yeah, I think that was on the Q&A. It's pretty good. Okay, shit.

You can say street mob. Oh yeah, I know, hang on, I'm looking at my books. My big gallery of books, give me a second. Oh, fuck. I always forget that Ed records from his library. What a proper fuckin' lad. Yo Jeebs, pass me the one on the top shelf, please. Ah yes, thank you.

Oh, this one's an old. This one's old. I'm going to dust on it. Okay, mine is Straight Mom. Is it also Sora? No, I've never played Kingdom Hearts. Is it a JoJo? It's not a JoJo.

It's not from JoJo either. Is it from jojo it's not a jojo it's not from jojo either is it from is it phospholipid that is not a character in fiction that is a real thing devil may cry what no i don't know i'm just i'm just saying i'm just asking i'm just asking from like series what but we have to make it like we have to funnel it we have to take something big and make it not big is it the may is it the devil from the bible is it the month of may what

is it a d20 dice from dungeons these all exist david what are you doing alright avery you get your try and i'm just gonna say it if you don't get it dice from dungeons? These all exist, David. What are you doing? Alright, Avery, you get your try and I'm just gonna say it if you don't get it. Wait, I need a try? Kyle didn't even try. Is it in video games?

Is it in books? It is in video games and it's... Oh! Kiryu! No? No. Also, Kiryu's a gay dad 100 that i mean yeah from a video game ed's favorite character in anything i get to guess it's on a konami franchise a konami franchise i'm out and for that reason i'm out uh. Straight mom in a Konami franchise. Oh, Konami.

I don't know. I can't remember what Konami makes. They made Metal Gear Solid. Oh, it's right. It's... It's Big Boss. Yeah, it's Big Boss. that was a really good question thank you yeah um we didn't answer it at all like you wanted it to but thanks for the question doesn't care we made a fun game out of it see we had fun i didn't have fun you guys fun. Do we want to answer the one right below that?

You can. They did it all for us, Kyle. Yeah, sure. Someone with the fantastic name of Kyle Ripper asked, how did you guys get the idea to do a narrative ad read, and how did you decide

on the I'm glad you asked storyline? It happens. We did the...yle had the idea to make the cameron the poster ad read cameron sitting at his desk and david bursting through the wall i think i did that yeah you did i'm pretty sure it was i've been i've been accredited this twice now and i i just i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure it was. I've been accredited this twice now, and I just... I'm pretty sure you did. You were involved in the decision-making, at least. I was saying David...

It's because Cameron wouldn't shut the fuck up about his tickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, Kyle, your idea was to incorporate his fucking tickets into the ad read. Yeah, because he couldn't stop talking about it. That's what spiraled into the ad read being him sitting at his desk and David breaking down the wall I'm glad you asked was Avery though I'm glad you asked was me

and then it becoming narrative was also me because we were starting the next ad read and I went what if we just continued what if it was just Cameron calling me and being like I swear to god David broke through my wall and tried to sell me a poster just Cameron calling me. It just happened. Being like, I swear to God. David broke through my wall and tried

to sell me a poster. It just kept going and getting more and more complicated and honestly. And it will continue to get more and more complicated. People apparently love it. So yeah, it's good. That's fun. That's about it.

Also, it doesn't seem like many other podcasts do that. I don't think any other podcasts do that. Yeah. If any other podcasts do that. We'll sue. Nope. We'll sue. Yeah, we will.

We are coming for you. I'll go to law school. Ed's going to write our lawsuit in his Google Drive notes. I can't talk about lawsuits I'm being audited any other questions I found a good one but I already picked one so I feel like it's not fair

go ahead it's your day you deserve a day after this was the Ed show Kyle's back and he's just giving me the you deserve a day after those two days you know what Kyle's back and he's just giving me the spotlight like this Kyle you're a good dude you know I appreciate you saying that

guys you fucking bought it hang on I deafened him guys you fucking bought it nice this guy's saying his name is Sean Lane or Slaney I've been a fan of Yes for many years. So when JoJo's turned around about into a meme, I got really giddy at the prospect of people rediscovering one of my favorite bands. So on that note, has there ever been something you're a fan of, particularly something a bit older and somewhat forgotten that has recently reentered the limelight and you like it?

The Lion. What? What? What? David, cut that. Jesus, David, boost that. I'm gonna fucking censor that. That was fucking vile. Yeah, my bad, my bad. I hope it fails.

Mine is... Oh my god, i'm having a fucking brain fart the anime not the anime the manga about the guy that has a gun for a head they're making an anime out of it gunhead man yes is that it uh are you kidding me is that gunhead man for real i need to find the trailer but yeah it's it's the one that people meme the shit out of because there's this one panel where he just says, I have a gun for a head, I don't have to explain shit. It's the name of a detective, like a noir detective that just has a gun for a head. Let me find the trailer. The West is so far behind Japan. No uh no guns life that's what it is i will post a cover of it it's really fucking good i recommend you guys read it and the art for it is fucking sick here's the

cover of the first volume oh yeah that's pretty good wow jesus wow i'm on board yeah that's enticing here's the trailer it has 300 views I really hope it gets popular cause this shit is so good for me it's Kingdom Hearts 3 cause it's the fastest selling and most popular Kingdom Hearts game now and it definitely disappeared for a couple years

yeah and people are going back into it because they also really uh released uh story so far on ps4 so now all the game not all the games technically but most of the games are hd on the ps4 so it's way more accessible even the weird game boy mobile one no well they made a they made an actual like remake of the game boy one like chains of memories they made a ps2 game for it but we don't talk about chains of memories oh no i don't know what's wrong with i don't know it's a card game yikes uh I guess mine would probably be Heathers when they made the Heathers musical. Gay.

A bit gay. I don't know much about that. I haven't watched the Heathers, but I have read the script and listened to the songs. That's it. Oh yeah? The movie is better than the musical, for the record

really which movie substantially the original movie from 1988 oh okay because that's on netflix for me i should watch that you should it's on youtube very good it's on youtube it got taken down from youtube ah it had been up for like years and then i started linking it to people like it's on youtube just watch it oh they immediately took it down you did that what the fuck I don't know I'm trying to think of something like old and like forgotten maybe I'm just

stuck in a Halo set of mind but Halo's not old and I don't even remember you being that in day I mean Master Chief collection is coming back so I guess I guess it does count I'm gonna steam But it ain't forgotten Nobody forgets

Why isn't it coming to the Epic Games Launcher God damn it I'm just waiting for Fortnite To make a comeback Shut the fuck up alright yeah let's be done Fortnite remastered in two years hey Kyle you wanna plug your shit?

me? you get top billing alright um thanks for signing me back on to another season David thanks for the money no problem you can find me on twitter

at sirzulu underscore and I might even tweet there whoa someday are those electoral fucking promises did we complain on this episode about how this was supposed to be a reunion and Cameron is a bitch we did not

but we're at the end of the episode. No, Cameron's right here, look. Or you can find me on Twitter. I'm SuperSneakSheep and nothing else because I have no drive. Jesus Christ.