Please Stop Talking - Low Taper Fade (feat. Kwite & Noodle) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

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Either way, we hope you enjoyed this episode of Please Stop Talking. Hello, I'm your only non-recurring host ever on this podcast. Quiet and welcome back to Please Stop Talking. I'm going to play the funky. Copyright music. Rim shot. Rim shot. Rim, rim, rim, rim, rim, rim shot. What's up, guys? It's like one of those fucking radio stations.

That's awesome. I love FM by Vince Staples. So we are at MAGFest right now. We're in a tiny hotel room. It's fucking hot as balls. We're not at MAGFest. We're in Dark Mag. Yeah, we're at Dark Mag because it's over. MAGFest. We're in DarkMAG. Yeah, we're at DarkMAG because it's over. MAGFest just ended.

Two hours ago. And DarkMAG, DarkMAGFest has just begun. DarkMAG, you don't know what the fuck we're up to. We're up to our asses in fucking sleepies and fucking... Dude, I have my little nightgown on. I have my little candle. Bro, I had one Benadryl last night. I'm going fucking crazy.

I've memorized all of your stenches. Can you fucking stop sniffing me at night? Can you stop being so alluring? He laughs because he cannot. Let's talk about Edward. Not his name. It's Eduardo.

Eduardo Punkduck. And and the surprise the shock yeah the drama the drum so i we it was none of us knew that ed was going to be here yeah it was like we i'd been cooking with him for a little bit and like we managed to sort it out where like he could come around last minute but uh it was basically like we got him out here and like we didn't say shit we almost had a few slip ups you and ed exclusively managed to make it work so that nobody else had any idea he was coming there were some close calls and i accidentally got leaked to court and then ed played it off like masterfully thank the lord which is crazy because ed's girlfriend was going like full court press with it same question, are you sure? You said you were going to DC

in January. Going to MAGFest. Marvel movie budget, just getting spots on Hot Ones. Ed is going to MAGFest. Wow. You surprised us with that stupid homeless man that we fucking hate.

Basically, I just ran out the room without saying much because I had missed a text by like five minutes on discord where Ed said he was there just out in the freezing cold. Oh my God, you kind of bolted out of the room to like it was a brisk walk. I was there. Okay. It was a brisk Olympic sport. Okay, it was a brisk walk,

but you you seemed upset at like at the doorframe. You turn around went really quickly. Gotta go. Gotta go just left slam the door frame. You turn around, went really quickly, got to go, got to go, just left, fucking slammed the door. And we were, I was like, it's quite okay. Billy walked up to me was like, is anything happening? Yeah, because you actually seemed so upset. I was like, is my homeboy doing good?

So I go down, I meet Ed, tears were exchanged. No, they weren't. I'm not crying over that pussy. Oh, I did. Oh, of course not. I did. Yeah, I would never. Just wait until we talk about how I react.

I come back up with him, and I knock, and I open the door, and I'm like, hey, I just found this homeless guy outside. And then Ed walks in with his scruffy-ass hair, and then he's like, hey, guys, do you mind if I stay and just silence for a second? Yeah, no, because none of us registered it at first. I remember looking at Ed and being like, I recognize this person. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

That's fucking Ed. Yeah, no. Really surprised. It was like I was saying earlier, like extreme makeover. We were crying. There was music. Wow. And I was homeless.

The music came in and everyone cried. Actual soundboard guys in the other room we actually got the other apartment with like a two-way mirror that's the mirror holy shit whoa yeah and they were just like hey i took a shower here earlier yeah um i uh that was my my penis was out i don't think oh didn't you say you were like literally laying your ball sack all over my bed when you did that we're recording in my room by the way yeah sorry guys I gotta apologize there's a ball stench every

yeah I did check the footage that wasn't a lie so I'm gonna enjoy that later so I'd like to remind you Billy that I have a big amount of subscribers so I'm gonna make this about me real quick I'm sorry I was not in I'm sorry bigger number better person let's you want a dick measure are the are the subscribers in the room with us right now can you point them out to me

oh shit you're subscribed to julian noodle i know that guy no fucking way what's your favorite video plug your ears for one second julian i hate that guy's videos and uh can we just dub in someone saying, insert your favorite noodle video here, viewer. Yeah, you, the viewer, you chose this video. Good for you. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. Except it's a podcast with a bunch of fucking

mid-20-year-olds that get drunk a lot and taste each other's balls. Listen, the mid-20 descriptor works for you. Relax. So anyway, you guys all met Ed, and he stunk up the bar and i cried a little bit and then i touched down in the plane and i arrive and several hours later than everybody else so we had time to sit with it yeah and we sat with it there was a council we like actual

ass council it's like talking about how we can prank julian writer's room executive producer scorsese was involved yeah you even got the production crew from the first revealing on it. Yeah, yeah. When we opened the mirror, I'm like, okay, they're in on it. They're in on it. And we thought of several ideas to try and get just in true direction by committee. For real, yeah. Actual, like, straight-to-market product.

Could we please, listen, there were a lot of ideas, but one fucking killed me. Could we please talk about the bedbug one? It kills me. Background, background. I have a thing where anytime I travel, I check the room for bed bugs. And listener, you should do that too. Actually real.

Actually real. But it's related to this story because of the idea that Billy wants to talk about. So I had the idea to when Ed gets up here or like before Julian gets here, we have ed just be a gigantic like mound under the covers and when julian's doing his run we just be like hey what's that man you should check that out i would have got such fun i would have got such fucking deja vu

with that because it's just like it's just like chicago whenever mandy got stoned and hit under a pile of covers you would just be like, oh shit, that's Saddam Hussein. One one bit. I wish I had mentioned at the time is like we should have had jump out from it and then bite you as a bedwood bug would. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be so tight and cute. Like, yeah, man.

All right. I like how every good idea we had went out the window because we were all sitting at the bar getting drunk. We were hungry. We were hungry. We were fucking starving. Yeah, we were all hungry. It was a horrible day.

I like how it turned out. I hate how it turned out. I fucking hate you. Okay, so who wants to start this? So, okay. What we decided on because we were hungry and we weren't going to keep fucking going is we're going to go to a bar. We're going to tell Ed to go to the bathroom and hide there. And while he's hiding there,

you come in, you take, we are adamant. You take like Ed's seat. I'm so oblivious. I just, you were so adamant. I was just like,

okay. Cause I was excited to see you. And also because it's like, he's going to clock that there's an empty seat. Very well. I was like, he's going to clock that there's an empty seat. I was like, Julian, Julian, come sit right next to me here.

We were really playing on your ego, believing that we had selected a throne for you. Yeah, I noticed that it was a nicer chair. It was a foot higher than everyone else's. It was like, oh. It actually was. It was gilded, actually. That was a toddler fucking,

that was one of those toddler fucking seats, dude. It was good. We spray painted it gold just to get at you. It was not spray paint. That was wet shit. Oh, okay. Oh, no. No, that's fair.

Either way, Buddy's heads down. And then as you sat down, I text Ed and I'm like, oh, shit. The bird is in the nest. I repeat, the bird is in the nest and then ed just slowly comes behind you grabs your shoulders and says hey man hey man i was sitting there so i just look i look at him i realize who it is and i'm like oh sorry man and i get up i walk around the table that's not how anybody else registered what happened we just thought you fucking didn't know who it was so hard yeah i i pat

i pat myself on the back for that there's a video of me reacting to it where i just stare you i'm like i'm like looking at you and then i'm like do you know do you do you not know no no this was after i walk around the table dead in the end i'm like can you fucking believe these people do you actually not know who that is that's yeah and I look at you and I'm like no who is that you fucking you got all of us I fucking hate you do yeah you got a brilliant place on your

part but fuck you for that one yeah I mean no Ed got me with it though because he was giving me shit for that the entire four days oh my god yeah he still doesn't let me live it down because you're an asshole. Yeah. No, I just know your room shot room shot

awesome shot. Just shout out my room. Yeah, I don't think there was anything else that happened on a day zero. There was a little thing wherever quite and I went into the bathroom. No, yeah, I went to piss and you came in like ten seconds after and like immediately like, you know, I promise I'm not following you and some guy

washing his hands just looks at us like what? He thought I was talking to him. That's so fucking awkward. I don't know. It's awesome. What did you even fucking say? I played it off expertly by saying, nah, it's for my homeboy here and I gave him a massage on the spot.

Damn. You did do that? While pissing? Yeah, no, I was like, it helped me finish up. So I appreciate it. I'm a good motivator. Actually, though, like when you get a massage while pissing, it helps you get the last drops out. It's like that episode in Ted, you know, wherever it's like you just need

some confidence. Yeah, you relax your ovaries and it helps it flow more. Yeah. Yeah, dude. So that was day zero. I really want to talk about something that happened at the bar. I'm going to be honest. I was making a joke about ed looking homeless because of his hair like to his face and he was like oh is this where you made the decision no that's where he made okay i didn't i listen i yeah because everybody's on my ass about this i never said i would do it he asked me and i said are you sure and i kept

saying are you sure i called ed homeless and then he said i really need a haircut if and his i can't find a barber right around the harbor could you cut my hair i looked at him i said are you fucking sure i have never cut hair in my life. Are you sure? And he was like adamant. He was like, no, absolutely. I live.

We are going to CBS. It's Ed's favorite way to live life. It's the path. Most funny. My biggest problem with this whole thing was I thought his long hair looked really good. Yeah. He made it so well.

It was, and I was like, he just, it was inconvenient. He didn't like it being in his face. He ran to the CVS. He bought scissors for cutting hair.

Which is funny because the kitchen has scissors. You don't want to put those near someone's scalp. Or ears, dude. What? He wets his hair. I tell him, get in the fucking bathtub because there is going to be cleanup. You have a lot of hair. He gets the bathtub he's wet as balls he has no shirt on he gives

he says okay i want a razor trim on the sides of my head i say okay he gets me a razor it is the man it's the man's balls razor he did not bring any of the things that let you like taper it or anything no he fucking he was actually like shave my head with this and i was like okay don't you i did not know that this was his idea that gives me way less sympathy for what happened i never claimed to fucking know how to cut hair but for some reason you started talking like you knew like pretty soon it was really funny it was really funny uh so i had when i came in and you were midway through i could not believe you guys had not been drinking the whole night oh i was i mean to be fair i was drinking i started drinking i cracked open like okay you know what that makes sense because you

had a distinct lack of steady hands that you would need to do a good haircut and i think that shows it's fucking hard there was harder whenever you can't keep your fucking hands still there was like six or seven people in here including ed and billy and everybody was getting drunk watching ed get his haircut and like billy cracking joke we have entire time

we have a shitload of footage of this you should interplay into splice i should i should actually splice in just a few funny interactions from that bit. So I start shaving his first razor hitting the dome. I didn't know he wanted

me to... A low taper fade. Yeah, this is where I started saying it. Ninja low taper fade and it's stuck. It's stuck. I didn't know he wanted me to use a comb to... I thought he wanted the sides to be dead ass bald. I mean, even,

even if that's what you still have to thin it out first so that it cuts better. Yeah. But I didn't do that. I just went in. I know you didn't do that. I just went in and a giant lock of hair falls and everybody in the room went,

no. And I was like, what? That's what he wanted. And then he, he turns to everybody. He's like, yeah, no, I want this. He did not realize. He did That's what he wanted. And then he turns to everybody. He's like, yeah, no, I want this. He did not realize. He did not see what he was talking about.

Dude, he still has a giant fucking bald spot. Yeah. I'm going to look great for my niece's birth. One of many that you carved into it. There's like three or four balls. I would like to like elaborate that this was mostly Billy's effort, but like every now and then someone

knew would touch the beacon and then just like like like have a go at the back like really funny way to get a beacon and and then like somewhat confident when like one of the pictures that got posted on twitter is like my hands like yeah like i might know what i'm doing but i i was like trying to wing it like yeah i was like being really slow and methodical because i'm like this is gonna be

very easy to fuck up and eventually i found an excuse to leave because i had a thing at like eight and i'm like yeah guys i gotta go uh i can't be responsible for this and when i'm like out yeah you and me were going together he messages both of us please come back please tell me you're coming back please tell me you're coming back okay to be fair at one point before we saw the result at one point the alcohol started hitting me and i just kind of he he was, nobody, okay, nobody was taking fucking direct action. Everybody kept like pussy putting around. No, no.

No, actually, everybody's like. You're like Fox Stevenson. Yeah. Oh my God. Everybody was around Ed. I used to use his songs in Call of Duty edits. No way. Yeah.

Damn. I used it when it was Stan SB. Yes. Yo, base is fucked. Yeah, we love Stan SB. Let's go. Let's go. For the love of fucking Christ. I understand why they make people go to school for this shit

dude god damn this feels very high up are you cutting is this either way everybody was just talking like how are you gonna do the fade on the back i was like no mother fuck give me that razor i'll fucking cut that hair dude it has to go off because not even kidding there was a council around ed's fucking head that was balding because of my razor sharp skills to be fair you were backseating a lot i was i was backseating the most i was instigating but like he was like billy would put his hands on like ed's head while i'm mid-, like fucking trying to sabotage me. I wasn't trying to sabotage. I was trying to save it.

You were zero intention on cutting that hair. I was just there to instigate. And you did a wonderful job. There was a lot of instigating. You were the first person to start recording. I don't have that footage. My phone exploded. I don't know. I don't know if they want their names on the podcast,

but the one person in the room, like who is like probably most qualified, just refused because they had the good, they had the good conscience to not try. Oh, the conscience not to be held responsible for what would happen. Okay. But to be fair,

she also, yes. Okay. But also at one point, Ed said, oh yeah, I shaved my balls with this razor and she went, oh,

I don't want to touch that. Very fair. Very fair. Very fair. I touch Ed's balls directly, so it's not like huge for us. Everyone here has seen his balls. In person, right above your nose. At some point, we've all gotten intimate.

It's how it is. Wouldn't have it any other way. Should we specify that's a joke for the reasons? Not for me. I'm a really enthusiastic about this. What did you say? No, just specify that's a joke after all he left because of

oh no, he left because I fucked his fate up. So yeah, that's the whole reason he left the podcast. He said I'm never coming back here. Fuck you. He yeah, that's the reason he's not right now. I mean, look at you. Look at me. When was the last time you had a brown person on this cast before me?

Oh my God. Never. Fuck you. No way. I actually think never. Holy shit. I'm the first minority. I'm fucking breaking waves here, man. I'm 25% Mexican. You're 100% a bitch. Oh, that's true. That's actually true.

On your ancestry report. Billy, hit the rim shot button. Oh, that's true. That's that's actually true on your ancestry report. Hit the rim shot, but yeah. Oh, yeah. Like Billy can hear the whole thing. We can only hear the headphones. So yeah, I gave him a haircut and listen. All I'm saying is

I gave him a giant bald spot and it took everything for me not to write my name in it. But also when it was done it looked fine. That's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now look at the other side. So this is the side that's allegedly good, right?

Yeah, that side. That's okay. Let's look at the old one. So do you see? So do you see show do you see can you tell when side was worked on first yes I can

dude I look like a rapist it looks I'm really it looks good depending on the angle and from what side his hair is laid down on I will say though

like me and Julian when we were out and we saw like it finished up yeah when we saw it like finished up. Yeah. When we saw it like finished up, we were like genuinely surprised like, oh, okay. I kept saying I told

you at dinner. I told you at dinner. You are better at cutting hair than me and I stand by that. Thank you. That means a lot coming from you who can't cut hair. Your mouth is still in fucking like jaw ripping off radius. Yeah. What was the meetup?

Was that Friday? That was Saturday. That was Friday. Friday. That was day. That was day two. Starts on Thursday. I guess we could hit that now,

right? Yeah, because there's one part that I really want to day to Daytona racing. Let's go. We did not do that. Let's go. Certified. Certified.

So we had a little meetup. We had a little meetup. And it was mostly uneventful. I mean, aside from the fact that we met fans, and that was very, very nice. Thank you everyone for saying hi, by the way. I'm really sorry for the few people that yelled my name while we were running around late to like events and stuff because it

happened multiple times or somebody was like oh shit billy and i was just like running somewhere i just turned around and i didn't say anything and kept going i feel bad because in my head it literally didn't register that if somebody knows my name it's probably because of the podcast that's a that's the polar opposite of the experience i had. If people wanted to talk to me, they just walked up and said hi, right? People just yell my name. No, I just did this. I started doing this thing where if I met anybody and they said hi, if I saw them again,

I would just start pointing at them. And without fail, they'd point back. We just pogged at each other for a moment. It was like this unspoken thing. Genetic soy face. Genetic soy face. No, it was beautiful, really. But my favorite fucking thing was that at one point someone walked up, said hi to everyone in the group, right?

They noticed you. They noticed 10. They saw boo. They noticed Ed. And I think they even said hi to other people there. But yeah, they I don't know if they even registered. I was part of the group that you guys were in they had all of us autograph

a shit to they had magic the gathering cards picked out for all of us. Everybody signed one like boo signed one ed signed one Julian did not they grabbed their box and they walked away. Yeah, they didn't even offer it to me and I was like, oh okay weird. I guess they

I guess they don't want to fucking um they they didn't recognize me they don't know who i am i don't know they they they come back and say hey some people didn't sign this and they like go to 10 or ed or whoever right yeah and someone in the group points to me and is like do you know who this guy is no i i know i i that's not what i did uh it was me and I pointed. I said, do you also want do you also want Julian? And he looked at you and looked a bit confused. It was like, oh, yeah, no, no. What kills me is the reason because he looks at me and he's like, oh, I thought you were black.

Yeah. Okay. No, that's not the best part. I know. I was there. I was there. No, that's not the best part. No, that's not the best part. That's not the best part. He says that and some black guy that none of us have met and never saw again, looks at me, smiles, pass me on the back and walks off immediately.

All he heard was, oh, I thought you were black. That's it. That's all he heard. He flicks at some cracker and is like, you know what, you're all right, man. And then just flicks off. I forgot about that. I thought I was fucking. It was like a it was like a curb your enthusiasm. I can't fucking and the guy who said he didn't even see that happen. He

didn't know how fucking funny he just made things so random guy because I know you're listening. Thanks for that moment. Yeah, thank you for that. Very funny. Yeah, it's kind of fun. Why do you think I was black for what comment on this? I'll pin it. Yeah, we can do not do that. There is no

good answer. You can give you there's no good answer. Do not give us a reason. I it was kind of funny for me though, because just the intentional lean over because I got to lean over to press a little and also and also we have to see it because every time you hear a sound effect, Billy has

to lean way over and make a exerted effort to do it. Can you program vine booms into this? I wish there was vine boobs. I don't have boobs. You can put it in. Here's one. Thanks, man. Can you play it again, but in reverse?

Yeah, okay. I really like that sound. Thanks. What were you saying, Dwight? It was kind of funny because nobody in our party knew Ed was going to be here, but no one knows I was here until this podcast goes up, was nice nobody recognized you nobody knew i was here oh they recognized you weren't in the get up but to be fair like we barely were camouflaged dude exactly exactly you're saying this like you're upset this was your game plan you precisely you won it was i was just noting the irony am i not allowed to have opinions on my experiences you

know what go fuck yourself man can you please do it for me? I'm getting nervous. Can we get this guy off the podcast? One brown guy you ever have on. First brown guy you ever have on. This is their room. You are so white passing. It's winter, okay, man? Me too, man. Me too. Yeah, you get it there.

Yeah, we didn't do a whole lot of like actual con stuff. Like we stopped by the arcade here and there. But other than that, we were just kind of like walking around. This was my first mag though. And I was like so impressed with like just the entire thing. I didn't know how nice the Gaylord was. It's a vibe.

It's like such a it's like the first proper convention. I've been kind of crazy that this con is allowed to happen. Yeah, because you see so much crazy shit everywhere. Well, no, what I think there's a reason for that. And I think it's because most of the crazy shit is self-moderated. The cockroaches don't come out until at least 6 p.m., right? The creaturezoids. People don't go crazy until it's after hours.

Yeah. They actually have... Magfest is a very kid-friendly place to in until you hit a certain point of time i mean they they have like they got mag scouts yeah which i think i mean i mean i'm sorry i think it's weird that it is bring their kids to magfest because magfest is very much don't know and and that's by design magfest you have it's like adult swim it's like it's like adult swim i get it i i guess it's true it's like dinner time you vacate the premises after hours, like when it becomes dark, and then suddenly it's a different fucking convention.

The rats appear. I mean, in the words of Proto Man, if you remember MAGFest, you weren't really there. By the way, fucking Proto Man. They were really good. You can get away with the MAG Scouts thing early in the day because everybody who's here to do the MAGFest thing

is sleeping until like four in the afternoon. That's true. Like yeah, because you're here to just get fucking schwack. I didn't get out of bed before five like except for one time and I think I've only told court this, but part of that was I was rereading a fan fiction. I really like so I spent three

hours in bed like just fucking hold on a fan fic of what it was a it was one of those child abuse simulators. I was talking to you about. What? Okay, we're moving on. I don't know. Let's talk about Megfest.

Real angsty. I don't know. Those who know, know. You get some fucking creatures here. Me and Julian had a run-in with the same guy, the guy with the frog. Yes! Oh, you're talking about Jiraiya?

Are you talking about Jiraiya? Yeah, it's your fucking Jiraiya. I was going to try to avoid calling this guy out. There's multiple Jiraiyas. Yeah. We're talking about the same Jiraiya? Yeah, it's your fucking Jiraiya. I was going to try to avoid calling this guy out. There's multiple Jiraiyas. We're talking about the same Jiraiya. We met him last year. Did we met him last year? What?

I did. I didn't. I didn't. Same guy? Me and Jello, we definitely met him. No, he goes to every MAG, dude. I'm not surprised. He looked like a MAG goer.

He's a MAG goer. He's an OG MAG goer. Because MAG coded. He looked like a mag goer. He's a mag goer. He's an OG mag goer. My first interaction with him is we were trying to go up to the rooftop nightclub because they were doing a SIVA gunner set up there. Yeah. And we're all standing in line and they can only get so many people on that elevator that goes straight up like 20 floors. So me and Ed get stopped because there's only so many people that can get in the line. We're sitting there. We're that can like get in the line. We're sitting there. We're watching everybody else get on the elevator and all of a sudden it just smells like weed

behind me and I see some smoke. Oh yeah. Because he's he stood directly behind me. Just like I think anytime he enters a scene like that is just how he enters the smoke appears before he he took a hit. He's got a crew too. Yeah. He took a hit like off of a pen right behind me,

blew it right into my back. And I turn around and I give him this look and he goes, oh, my bad. Sorry, man. And he hands it to me. It's like,

I'm not going to say no. I'm at mag fest. I, my, my only question was, what is this? And he goes, oh,

it's live resin. Okay. I'll take a little bit going up to a nightclub. Damn. He was like on wax. Yeah. Oh yeah. And he, and he gave me a little bit going up to nightclub Damn He was like on wax And he gave me a little You never see Jiraiya at Mag Sober

I'm not surprised because the thing is You guys only met him at the nightclub The reason why he approached us in the first place Or like started talking to me Was because I just finished doing a Ed and I went and did a Soul Calibur 2 tournament and Jiraiya was there and he was... He also got washed.

He got washed and he was so stoned the entire time. He was staring at the screen going, oh! I didn't see that part. So I take a hit off his pen. I'm like, all right, we'll be fine. I took a little bit and he walks by me and starts trying to get the security guard's attention.

I was like, what is this fucking guy doing? He's like, hey, hey, hey, you having a good day? Hey, man. Security guard does not want an answer. Well, he couldn't hear him. He's got earbuds in. And the security guard did answer him. But I leaned into Ed.

I was like, I just hit whatever he had. If he's tweaking, I don't know what that was. He said it was live resin. It was so we were fine god. I mean he he's I think he's crossed most of you. You had an experience with him. Yeah, the same day so same night. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had a Julian. I had a rough first night right. I got the big anxiety. I did did the vomit in the bathroom. It was yeah. Oh yeah, but we don't have to thank I did the vomit in the bathroom. It was rough. But we don't have to linger on that. Thank you for doing it in the bathroom, by the way.

I drank a whole lot and I learned my lesson. It's been a while. It took a second to figure out where my limit was. Anyway, so I'm feeling rough. I go up to the nightclub to meet up with the homies before I go to bed early, try to recover. I see

Ten and Co. outside on the balcony um i walk up i say hi and the first thing you do after saying hi right is point at jariah who's like a few steps away and point at the fact that he is lighting someone's cigarette with his cigarette and you call it your fucking hero it's it's because it's because people in our group were like really needed cigarettes and i was like i don't really buy cigarettes in the harbor so i was like oh dude you can go over there and you can bum him off jariah because i turn and he's like lighting a cigarette off of a cigarette somebody else has lit because nobody had a lighter up there and i think i i think that is when i called him my hero yeah now you say that i remember and i'm like okay I'm going to stay right here.

And Jiraiya wasn't having that. He noticed me, noticed I was chilling and walked up to me immediately. He was like, hey, man, how you doing? Oh, yeah, you made a friend. Oh, yeah. You fucking, you pulled aggro. So I look at him. He's like, hey, you doing okay?

And I'm like, I puked in the bathroom half an hour ago. I'm drunk and I feel fucked up. And he's like, hey, that makes two of us. You want some mushrooms? He's on everything. That dude is wild. Connoisseur Jesus. And like, we have like a two minute conversation about like, you know what? I think I'm good.

I appreciate it though. I'll let you know if I'm wanting mushrooms later. And he's like, look, it's cool. I just, you know, There's a lot of people here. They want mushrooms, and they don't know where to get them. I just want them to know I'm here for them. I've tested it. They're clean. Yeah, no. I can vouch

for them. I'm on them right now. If you want them, I can do that for you, man. I'm here. Oh, dude. If I heard I'm on them right now, I would have started screaming. I was like, oh my god. Just shaking him. Nightmare! Nightmare! And then he fucked off. hurt. I'm on them right now. I would have started screaming. I was just shaking. And then he fucked off. Oh, and I saw him the following day wandering around in the of the market like he doesn't think he didn't know who he was. That's

so yeah, he didn't know. Well, he was looking at everything like he'd seen the thing for the first time in his life. He was having a ball. He was. He was having an experience like no other. But all this weekend, me and Ed kept like leaning into each other and just saying like sage mode to each other and being like, dude, I'm having the worst day of my fucking life.

You want some mushrooms? I wasn't there for that. That's been like me and Ed's thing. Like if nobody's saying anything, we just look at each other and just say one of those two things. That's so fucking funny. Yeah, I love Jiraiya. Hope he's okay. Hope he's listening right now. I hope I got to get him next year. Yeah, I hope we meet him again this year. I when is he not there though?

What is my turn? I mean, he's been there two for two for me. So yeah, yeah, yeah, whenever there's like too long of a silence, you just can't handle it. Rip shot, rip shot. Well, because it gets us talking again. It does, it does. Is that copyrighted? Yeah, that's copyrighted. I'm going to switch it with like, I don't know, something else.

Are you sure that's on a different channel? The make work for yourself button. Probably. Usually we do Patreon questions. I didn't get Patreon questions though. I wanted to talk about the other only really funny thing that happened to us was the Art of the Deal in Smoker.

Oh my god, yes. Right after Proto Man. We're all fucking exhausted. That show was two hours long. It was two hours. It felt so short because it was so good, but it was two hours. I was enjoying it.

It was a good concert. It was amazing. I don't even fucking listen to very much, but like they got to be one of my new favorite performers. Oh, yeah, they're amazing. They were everyone firing on all cylinders. The drummer. I don't know how the fuck he has that energy. He scares me. I don't know what he was

like. He was around at one point. He like, do you think he's friends with Jiraiya? He stood up like on the fuck on the fucking seat and then leapt down with his full body force to hit a snare like eight times. Billy, you you said the Jiraiya thing Ed elbowed me during the concert. He said

he said new theory. Yeah, Jiraiya dealer right there and went crazy. Yeah, like getting a mag crowd go at his talent. It was tip whenever mag eventually releases that on their YouTube channel. You should have a look. It's a great performance. You know, it was a good show. It was super packed, so it was super hot in there. We were standing for two hours, very so like we're all drenched in sweat. It's like twenty

degrees outside and windy, so it's like let's just go outside for a little bit. We can stop down by like smoker alley, have a smoke and just like cool off as soon as we get down there and start lighting up cigarettes this girl leans in and like tap shane um foxcade on the shoulder because he had the lighter and said hey like could we get a cigarette from you guys we'll give you a joint in return i i have to interject because the way ed told this story to me kills me he was telling me about this, right? And he was telling it through the lens of how much he's driven insane by Shane, who doesn't realize that he has game.

No, he was just telling us this like two hours ago in the broom. Yeah. So like the girls come up and they offer, they say, hey, can you get us a few cigs? Like we would like to have the smoke, right? Yeah, they said it like that. Like a fucking... Everyone is about to...

Yeah, and everyone is about to be like, yeah, sure, I guess. Like, whoever has cigarettes was about to offer them. And then they say, we'll give you a joint for it. And so it's... I'm standing right there, but I look at Shane, because it's Shane's cigarettes, Shane's lighter. Right. And before I could even look around to see what everybody else was doing,

Ed was going, are you fucking kidding me? That was a great Ed impression. I was going to say, you sounded exactly like Ed. I got a good Ed impression. Yeah. No. He's like, are you fucking kidding me? Of course we'll take that.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Ed is yelling like, that's a fucking amazing deal. And I never make the first offer. Never make the first offer. Art of the deal. One joint for one cigarette

and borrowing a lighter. It's the art of the deal. Yeah. Shane's reaction drove Ed insane because who the fuck comes up, ask for cigarettes and doesn't want to at least chat. They clearly want to continue talking.

They seem chill as fuck. I'm fully expecting them to be a part of the squad for a second here. And before any of that can happen, Shane is like, oh, I hope you have a good night. They seem chill as fuck. I'm fully expecting them to be a part of the squad for a second here and before any of that can happen. Shane is like, oh, hope you have a good night. They apparently they asked about his tattoos and he just started they did do that. These these were

different people. I was told we get he's right. It happened twice. It happened multiple times the way I understand it. Shane doesn't even have game. He just looks like that and when people approach him, he doesn't understand he looks like he looks like david hater but like prime david he's hot as fuck bro our boy shane hottest motherfucker we know listen i know men that's a man that's a lot that i point i say damn that's

alluring oh yeah yeah man is that the end of the story? Yeah, it wasn't even my story. I thought the end of the art of the deal was that the art of the deal was actually them getting it because the weed was bad. No, it wasn't. It wasn't bad. It was just sleepy weed. We we we did that make you to EP. We didn't negotiate at all. We said

yes, we're taking that. Yeah, here's a cigarette. Here's the lighter. You have a nice night. Nobody bothered to ask what it was, so we all smoked it, not realizing it was indica, and also it was late, and we were all asleep. So everybody kind of dropped out before we started hitting up room parties.

Oh, you fucking the room. I made it most of the night, but I was so tired. I stayed up. First off, I was so fucking insanely trashed. Also, I stayed up with court until like 7 a.m. You kept saying 8.39.

I was told Starbucks was open by the time that you went to bed so you got breakfast before you went to bed. Yeah, at 7 a.m. And then I went to bed at 8. Like this morning. That's so beautiful. Any details on what you did in that time? I desperately want to talk about

what happened but i don't want to get blacklisted from those probably a good shot probably not not because anything illegal happened they were tight just because they were nice to say people there were really nice to say yeah billy and court and co had a fucking incredible night they could probably never tell us about okay well actually well, actually, there's one... We went to one room party. I don't give a fuck about talking shit about that room party, because people were really weird. They had a giant mattress case

on the wall with anime children. What? And there was rave music playing, and so many people that were just going crazy next to the like little girl poster. Oh, I saw that. And everybody.

It was a whole ass fucking rave in one person's hotel. Yeah, it made me so uncomfortable and it felt like nobody was like. I did not hear about this one. Yeah, I didn't know about that detail. I just saw there was a big rave in a hotel room. That's where I smelled the most gamer. I dude, there was a dude i dude more than once he was alone and he just passed me and i genuinely gagged i could not believe

this more than once this mag i i noticed that like i'd walk into an area and it does stink bro some someone he was someone yeah this was this one wasn't thrown by anybody like someone. I don't think like I don't want anybody like no invited. No, we know we got in because we know a guy who knows a guy who was friends with somebody. Yeah, I don't want anybody who listened to this podcast. Thanks for talking about some shit. They directly invited us. We I mean, it's a it's

MacFest room party. We just kind of like you just show up to someplace because somebody that somebody that somebody you knew said that you're invited. You know, yeah, I just had a great time at all the ones like we got like pretty direct correspondence. Yeah, but those are like more like chill get togethers. Also, like that was a rager and we're not people that usually go to ragers. We were only there because the alcohol was free and then they ran out.

So and it was shortly after the art of the deal happened. I was at a rager last night. It was not the little girl mattress wall one, but it was solid. No, yeah. We just moved into another party and it was really nice and the people there were actual adults that were not creeps

and it was really nice and we love those people. That's so beautiful. I need to piss out of my penis, so I'll be right back. There was also a dude that we really like. i can talk about this because it's not insane uh just fucking had an accordion and he's just slaying on the fucking accordion just like uh because i i came up to him and i was like oh shit that's a really nice accordion because when i was growing up my

parents were like oh our little french boy needs to learn accordion so i oh my god he is pissing lasers over there the death stars winding up holy shit dude i don't i'm registering on the microphones but that is the loudest piss i've ever heard i'm so upset that nobody except the two people sitting in front of me right now quite and billy will see the look on my face when that started that that was the flush was quieter than the stream that was the loudest piss of all time good bro your kidneys healthy you are gonna have you never need that shit replaced put her there put her there so proud i'm so glad you all helped me get here it's only fair I'm doing the favor No that dude was just like

Slaying on the accordion playing Megalovania and everybody was like You know like clapping along And singing with this dude it was really nice It was just awesome It was fucking magfest Shout out to that dude he's fucking sick I walked up to the accordion guy

And I was super fucking drunk and people were just like asking songs and he was on French music and I was like, oh, do you know? Yeah, the Ratatouille one, Le Festin. Le Festin, yeah. Le Festin. And he was like, I don't know how that one goes. And I tried to hum it for him

and because I was drunk and stupid and also- It was rough, dude. It was rough. Well, I didn't even get the right song. Oh, did you not? No, no. Did you do like- I did the X-Men theme song. Da da da da da da. That's right, you did the X-Men theme song. No, no, did you do like I did? I did the X-men theme song that

did it slower. I did it like in the and then I turned to my friend next to me went. It was a fucking X-men theme song that wasn't even the right song, and yet he did it. He did the X-men theme song, and I mean did it great. I don't know. I was hammered and I stopped paying attention after that. He was one. He's one of those fucking musicians that can just play by year. Yeah, but you're nuts that insane. I hate those people. Don't take that out of context. Musicians. Oh, somebody clip him saying I fucking hate those people and then use it for your own clip me saying I fucking hate those people. Do you hate those people despise them? I'm glad we see it. Why do I on something? Julian was talking about gay people. I was talking about not gay people. Oh, sign anybody have anything else that they want to bring up?

Can we talk about the ring of fire one or is that one we want to? Oh, let's you want to talk about ring of fire. That was that we had a lot of fun. I think like just the rule sets. We like ended up adding are good enough. I think it's talking about the cup and the cup. Okay, the king's cup. I don't I don't know. I I think it's talking about the cup. And the cup. The king's cup.

I don't know. It's just a drinking game. It's just a drinking game. Is there much of a story to that? Just the rules were kind of funny. Somebody said no names, no human names at all. No F-bombs. No pointing. No gesture. You cannot gesture

or say their name. you just kind of have to like to let yeah we were all calling we were all calling each other like blue blue shirt yeah beanie also just green head i have i have my own personal favorite rule um it's just you ever get you ever get uh fucking you know no one knows what the rules for this fucking no one knows what the rules for this fucking thing are people do it's a popular one popular one. Yeah, I played it like at home, like completely outside. Well, if you ever get the one where you get to make your own rule, I highly recommend putting on one of those one hour of silence

occasionally broken by fine sound. Yeah, just every time everyone's got to take a swig. So I got I got like the second king. The cup had already a little bit of beer. It was like half full of beer. It was half full of beer. You're such a scumbag to this. Yeah, my turn comes

up to get to put something in the cup and I was like I have the funny I was I was getting there. We did a few waterfalls. I was pretty drunk. Context the rules are that whoever pulls the final king has to take a swoop of the communal cup in the center, which anyone who they have to drink it and

yeah, the three kings ahead of that time, the person who pulls the king gets to put something edible of their choice inside the cup. As long as you can, in fact, ingest it, it is fair game. Yeah, I was thinking like, what's something that's like liquid,

but weird in a drink? Grody and Chunky. Yeah, Grody and Chunky. And I thought to myself, oh, I mean, you can technically drink the insides of a Hot Pocket so i went i went into the i went into the freezer i got a i got a hot pocket that ed bought i warmed it up i i you you you opened it and de-gloved it was horrible you dissected that thing like a donor organ. And it was the molten cheese

petrified in the beer. Oh my god. And you know what's worse? The next person after me decided, oh, what if I just pour a shit ton of Smirnoff in there? Just a bunch of vodka. Beer, vodka, and Hot Pocket.

Yum! It's the breakfast of champions. So much vodka. Like three or four shots. The breakfast of champions so much vodka like three or four shots the rest of the cup was vodka yeah yeah we i do we like we we should figure out a name for that drink either way the the the worst please don't the worst please don't filter of illness puke shit i i i looked at it i looked at it thanks man the person the person who got the fourth yeah my my husband your poor poor husband no no yeah cosmic cosmic irony i know so good it was perfect i know i i thought it was gonna be me so dude we were at the last cards and i was everybody was like freaking out horrified two turns

before me. I was so I was so fucking drunk that I didn't realize that I was it was possible in danger. So I was just like chilling. I don't know. I was horrified and when my husband actually got the last king, I did not feel bad

because I didn't listen. I feel sympathy when you mostly feel relief. Yeah, I was mostly feeling relief and you know what? That could not have been the best... He is the best person. If anyone could have handled that, it would have been him. Dare I say, King.

Yeah, he... Oh, I get it. He drank the King Cup full of vodka, molten cheese, and egg because there were eggs in the hot. Yeah, my fucking favorite one. My favorite fucking thing.

Ed was telling other people about ones that he had to do after the fact. He told me about a game that he played of King's Cup where the first person got the king, took an egg, just cracked it, put it in the cup, right? Yeah.

Second person got an egg. And the third one person twist, twist, twist. Another egg cracked it, put it in the cup. Fourth person, Ed. He loved eggs. The Rocky Balboa diet. Yeah, dude. He had one of those like fitness diets, you know,

where people nearly killed themselves. Lots of protein. Salmonella shake right there. Yum. Can you get salmonella? It might be raw chicken. I'm not sure. I think it's a myth, but whoever's listening should not take this

as any kind of advice. Please don't poison yourself. Hey, Rocky did it and he's a champion. I don't think you should eat raw chicken. It's also not real. Yeah, that's just yucky as hell. He is real. There's a statue like right over there. We're not in. We're not in Philadelphia. I'm so dumb, dude. You're so Philadelphia is in Philadelphia. Philadelphia might

might want to miles away. What did he simply said? Israel question mark question. How long have we been going for? Rich Schwartz asks if you could go on questions. Rich Ward asks if you could go back in time and make any change to the Bible, what would it be? So like we

are the council. I would make Jesus awesome. If I were here, he already is man. My God is an awesome God that we could make Jesus way awesome. This guy fucking Jesus is a cool guy. All right. He was never awesome. I'm going to be honest. I'm not fighting that. We could make Jesus way more awesome. This guy fucking stinks. Jesus is a cool guy, all right? He was never the issue. Yeah, but he's not awesome.

I'm going to be honest. I would have like, if I was God, which I'm not, and I would never claim to be, I would not have taken back the order to make Abraham kill Isaac. I would have like,

do it, pussy, and then just watched, and then watched. Wait, hold on. I don't know the Bible deep lore. Did God like- Abraham ordered- Did God go take back? He's at one point God ordered Abraham to kill his son in his name as a test and then he's like you passed the test. You didn't you don't do it anymore. I'm sure Isaac was totally fine with it. He was he was like he was like you got to take your son up to the top of a mountain and like butcher him on a slab for me and then he was going to go do it and then God was like it was a test dude I'm like you got punked it was it was pretty cool that you were gonna do it but you

should stop like right you should actually wow even though I just said let that be a lesson to you God loves inflicting trauma to test people I would have just looked at the whole point well it is it is come on fucking do it Jesus Christ I would have changed the

three gifts that they gave to little baby boy Jesus. Give me. Oh, what would you have done? I mean, I would have given him an

iPad, an iPad, Wi-Fi router, and tech deck. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With one like this, I just think like no offense, no

offense to the three kings. They are dog shit at gifting. Like who the fuck wants myr? If I was the wise man, I would have given him three things inside of a hot pocket, a rolling rock and some smear off vodka. Y'all got me on like some like this. This kid's going to change the

world. Let's get him started. Let's get him started. This is just gonna change the world. Let's change his life right now. Implications for like what boo will go on to do now is fucking incredible. He's our baby boy Jesus. If I would have been able to write the Bible the way I wanted yesterday, that would have been the second coming. That would have been the second coming.

Okay, so I have an alt answer and that's the last thing I'll extend the runtime for. I would have made the original God of War plans canon to the Bible. Oh my god. Do you all know this? You would, by pure tangential shit, you would be canonizing...

Trust me, this, it ties in. So, Kratos was supposed to kill his entire pantheon and then he was supposed to meet up with the Norse and Egyptian equivalents of themselves and in the original canon, there was where they're going to be the three wise men. Oh my God, and they would have

that would have gone so hard and what would have in the inside of a hot pocket and the other one would have a beer. Do you ever think that the three wise men hung out after that? Real question, real question like is that a party where you forge a bond for life or that you're like traumatized collectively

and never want to see anybody that night. All right, any Bible heads in the chat. Can you tell me where the wise men like they were kings. They were kings. They were kings. They were kings. And the thing is like they were kings of different nations and they were all like, okay, I guess we I guess we'll hang out with a literal. They all had a premonition

and they had to follow a star that kept showing up at the sky that wasn't there before and it led them to Bethlehem. I went to Catholic school. Oh yeah, Kratos does that in the comics. Fuck you. Is it comics? Yeah.

I thought it was video games. I'm pretty sure he follows a star to Northeastern. The star to Bethlehem? I don't remember. What the fuck? That's crazy. I mean, maybe they chilled afterwards, you know? Like maybe they went for...

What do you do at that point? Maybe they went and played Kings Cup. God is like, hey, son of God, born here, you got, like maybe they went for what do you like? Maybe they would do it. Maybe they went and played Kings Cup. God. God is like, hey, son of God born here. You got to go there. You show up. It's just some baby in a major. It's like, all right, dude.

Yeah, we wasted all our rolling rock and vodka. What would you do if you just followed you? You followed the end of a rainbow and it's just a fucking dumbass baby. What the fuck? I'm changing my answer. The little drummer boy was actually there and he was stop motion animated in real life. He was just a big clay guy. I would fuck. He was just

animated on to his IRA. I would I would change it to interpolate him. Okay, he was 60 FPS, but made a clay. Yeah, in real life. I wanted to be like hyper realistic, you know. Okay, I think what can I say? I like that. I like that. like that thanks for listening thanks for

cool still couldn't hear it yo thanks so much for listening this episode would not have been possible without the help from our patrons such as alan diver art of agan beck davis pure bland but funny boopoo loo brain Soup, Caffeine Addicted Chemist, Chris Chapman, Christian Van Engen, Delling City, Dog Named Bear, Dreams of Ice, DX Studios, Eric Scott Gillies, Ethereal, Generic Phoenix, Guy Beam, Handsome Destiny, Hater 115, John Requires Lasagna, Kawaii Boy Toy, Lambda, Leo the Geotech, Loudon Woodworth, Mr. Shirt, Random Diamonds, Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.