Please Stop Talking - Many Such Cases (feat. Noodle & Punk Duck) | Please Stop Talking

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Ceci n'est pas une story. Check out our merch! ▶ https://pleasestopshopping.com/ Support the podcast on Patreon ▶ https://www.patreon.com/SirMeowMusic Join the PST Discord server! ▶ https://discord.gg/YNqTT65 Links: Billy ▶ https://twitter.com/SirMeowMusic Ed ▶ https://twitter.com/PunkDuck_ Julian ▶ https://twitter.com/NoodleVEVO Corbin ▶ https://twitter.com/lobbymemez Podcast ▶ https://twitter.com/PSTPodcast Art by ▶ https://twitter.com/B00_Rad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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subscribe if you haven't, share your favorite moments and episode with friends, and check out our Patreon if you want to give us some financial support, as well as getting a little something in return. All of that stuff helps like you wouldn't believe. Thanks so much for everything and we hope you enjoyed this episode of Please Stop Talking. Have you guys heard like a Modern Simpsons

clip where Marge talks? Holy shit, brother. Give it a rest. You guys know what Marge Simpsons sounds like, right? Hang on. She's like, homeboy! I think that it hits home a lot more if you watched Simpsons before. All right, Julian, I'll take you not having watched Simpsons, but I won't take you don't know what Marge Simpson sounds like.

It's different whenever you have an extreme familiarity with Marge's voice as opposed to cultural osmosis while growing up. Ed, modern Marge sounds like you're trying to start a movement. I was going to say, I thought Modern Marge sounds like a Netflix special. Look in the chat real quick. That's what she sounds like now. Homer,

we just got invited to a wedding in the Poconos. Oh my god. In the Poconos. Yeah. in the polka nose oh my god whoa jesus whoa in the polka nose yeah you know yeah i take everything back that is rough i don't know she still looks young in the cartoon though i tried to watch the simpsons once or twice but every time i shut it off because i really can't stand that little girl that is so annoying and never shuts up and i hate her voice lisa simpson no maggie i hate that fucking baby i'm gonna fucking break her skull so she's so progressive if you were in a room

with maggie simpson would you touch her soft spot would you just fucking push the soft spot it's an off button no it's a reset button i don't think she's coming i think that's a permanent off button this was no no it. This was a debate. No, no, it depends. This was a debate I was having with my friends, right? Is it morally... Whoa! Is it morally correct to...

What? This cannot be the start! And then my second question is, could you imagine you're welcome to the podcast no no no this is actually not this is this is where i say no and put it on the internet that is not something we are doing i of all that's not what's happening you are extrapolating and being extremely reductive not this is not just reductive that is sick it's sick you're viewing this as okay so your answer corbin is that no it's not morally correct pregnant no i think it's fine is this how we're starting no it's not i don't think so this is so much better than the sexy

pregnant woman we're not talking no that is not what that is not you think that's why we're not at it you think that it's because we're talking about like you know they're people. Yeah, I know. That's not why. That's not why. They have a glow to them. Excuse me? Whenever I turn on Eagle Vision, when I'm walking through a crowded public, all of the women who are nine months impregnated glow golden.

Like in fucking... Are you talking about like in fucking Assassin's Creed? Yeah, they're like the quest givers. Are you talking about like in fucking Assassin's Creed? Yeah, they're like the quest givers. Etsy, oh quick, I'm nine months pregnant. We don't have much time. And he just, he assassinates her immediately? Yeah, with his penis.

Why? What is it with you and having sex with pregnant women today you know they're people do they not deserve sex is that what you're saying welcome to the podcast all they go around carrying a person inside their stomachs for nine months and then they have to like they either have to get their fucking stomachs cut open to give birth to a being or they need to have permanently damaged pastrami mud flaps for the rest of their lives god forbid god forbid we throw them a bone do something nice for them for once is you think they they giving birth is? Do you think they open his stomach and take it out? I don't think it's fun. I'll tell you that much. I don't think they're excited for it.

No, no. It's what he said. I look at pregnancy and I go, hard pass. Billy, I don't think there's a single woman who's ever thought about launching a baby out they pussy and being like, oh, yeah! Yeah, they say wahoo like the Mario.

I beg to differ. I'm sure somebody on Reddit is going crazy right now. Wait, isn't that somebody's you because you want to eat your own placenta? What was that about? Excuse me? Mine?

Yeah, Billy had like a moment where he was like, I kind of wish I could get pregnant so I could eat my own placenta that always looks fun. That's true. Dude dude it's not about skincare yeah no i absolutely said that i i always say this i'm always out here saying i i wish i had a tasty placenta drink in my mouth billy the placenta guy you know

they actually sell no they actually sell placenta drinks though fuck you no no seriously seriously placenta drink is real is are we sponsored by them i don't know but i can tell you this it ships in three to five business days and arrives cold where do we go from here fucking anywhere else please what's that like giant fake donald trump tweet that's like boy pussy gets boy pregnant that it's like it's boy preggers and has to get a boy borshin many such cases just ends with many such cases just ends with many such cases this might be the worst episode it's a fitting send-off i don't understand why people like eat their own body parts and i know people are like it's uh self-cannibalism nutritious value

eat a fucking flintstone you're so fucking right for that it's no it's about it's a it's about not contributing to food waste okay they're trying to save the world it's brave in japan they do actually sell like placenta drinks though they're so popular that they're in the popular hit video game persona 5 in vending machines in the game i remember reading the description of that and thinking that i was fucking insane it's apparently real though like apparently like cannibalism kind of no i mean i mean i guess yeah it's acceptable like it's so acceptable i mean in japan yes you can just get it in a vending machine people who uh live in japan uh listening to this and knowing that we are incredibly wrong

about to fucking blow a hole in their monitor i'm just curious where do they find the placentas billy do you know that they actually sell in japan or did you just see it in a video game no i know no no no this is no this is actually true placenta drink is what source you didn't answer the question did you just see it in a video game and go that real i mean it's a it's a real thing like a placenta drink you are not answering the question i saw i saw it on the fucking youtube video where they were showing off okay so it's all right that's so okay high quality video game and youtube video fuck you i swear to god it's a real thing hey billy i believe you hey billy real quick what's that whiskey they sell in japan it's nika oh so we

can't talk about fucking but yeah none of that is making it in wait okay i'm not great placenta drink vending machine am i crazy oh man oh no no i think i got this information from persona i'm gonna die i think you're right i think you guys are right i don't think it's real i think it's just from persona hey billy i have a japanese friend who's online right now and i can ask them real quick we can get definitive info on this if you want here it's straight from the source i know that there is all right billy billy i'm hitting this person up right now and be like hey do you have placenta drinks in japan placenta water dude i it Hey, Kama, do you guys have placenta drinks in Japan? It's a collagen and placenta drink.

I swear I'm not crazy. We're going to find out. They're in San Jose, California, apparently. Anybody in California right now want to get us a, you know, pass a placenta? Let's do a big PST fan meetup in California. Oh, fuck. Corbin, are we going to have to take a road trip? Yeah, you guys should road trip to the morocco factory to get some placenta drink fuck is it like is it like a

brewery okay wait wait wait wait i i just i'm reading what's inside highest quality placenta extract swallow bird nest fermented plant extract hyaluronic acid collagen peptide red wine extract dude what the fuck is this why is there a bird nest in this drink what what the fuck is this they grind up straw and put it in what what the fuck is this oh where are we where are we billy that's like a that's that's just like a i don't think that has placenta in it it said no it says placenta extract there is placenta extract right there placenta x placenta x this ain't your mommy's placenta i mean actually maybe oh my god we don't oh my god billy the level billy i my god, Billy. The levels. Billy, I have terrible news. You are right.

They do. They do have placenta drinks. I'm not crazy. Are they common? I swear to god. Just because. I swear. They have it in fucking vending machines.

I'm not crazy. Julian, can you ask if they have it in vending machines? Yeah, I will ask. Everything is in vending machines in japan like you can get fucking billy's about to go on a fucking chuck mcgill rant no i'm about to go on expedia.com and get a fucking ticket to go get some placentages you don't need to go get you don't need to get all go through all that you could just get boy preggers they say they don't know about vending machines they're not sure about that part i want to know so bad now i need to know i know we have viewers in japan so like or listeners

rather they only see them at certain stores if there's a if there's a listener in japan that wants to give us their placenta if there is a viewer in japan who wants to get boy preggers. I am so uncomfortable. It's natural, Corbin. It's a part of life. It's natural. You were in placenta at one point in your life. Misogyny is alive and well, listeners. Here it is. Billy, at first it

sounded like you were asking one of the viewers to send in their placenta. No! No, we are. We are. Wait, we're not? I mean, if they want to. We can do a big raffle. We can mix them all in a big bowl. We gotta do like a game.

We all have like a swig of eggnog but one of them has placenta in it. Who is it gonna be? I wonder which one it is. Is it the one that's suspiciously red? Nah, that's why it's eggnog egg nog didn't they do that in uh that one movie what's it called again the one movie with the lady on drugs and then they go to a sweden is it suspiciously red and smells like boy pussy the suspiciously placenta shaped drink

everybody tuned out yeah i fucking tuned out apparently the placenta-shaped drink. Everybody tuned out. I fucking tuned out. Apparently, the placenta drinks are quite expensive. Yeah, they are. Oh, now you're an expert? Yeah, because I fucking Googled that shit. It's like $120. Holy shit, placenta.

Small price to pay for a placenta drink. Well, luckily, PayPal's letting me finance it for four interest-free months uh $30 a month are you serious you can finance placenta drinks uh yeah oh my god you can you're you pay you pay it up for i pay a premium for that shit wonder how much of that is just like shipping and like trade law that you're paying for how do you is what is the trade law on fucking placenta man what's the trade rate what's the what's the conversion on that can you send a placenta across country if you put it in a drink i think within europe you're all good because europe has these like what do you call it like sanctionless borders for for shit being delivered my question my question is just how do you harvest it like what's the process of harvesting placenta for drinking you get boy preggers and then you get a big ladle and you go yum yum they're gonna steal my money and take my placenta

somebody help me budget this my family is dying rent 800 bucks electricity 100 boy preggers boy sent a drink two thousand dollars plus imports what am i doing wrong somebody tell me does nobody have a story uh well i had a story and it got censored by the pst thought police what was it if i repeat it you're gonna cut it that's not a story that's you talking about babies with fucking i'm not repeating what you're it's not a story it is not a story i did think of one the story police so see the puzzle story um yeah that was a thinking man's joke by the way you're welcome bro that was a fit that was a thalker everybody that was a fucking went whoa yeah uh you know i work in leasing uh so i lease apartments yeah i had what yes uh you're a reprehensible human being go on oh yeah no i i evict single mothers yeah how pregnant are they how long have they been pregnant well okay it's please god tell me it's nine months it is funny

you should say that oh are all are any of them boys can we get a boy placenta because i've heard there's so many cases boy sent a dummy boy sent us sorry i hear i hear i hear there are many such cases boy mother can't pay her boy rent it has to get boy victed worst up hey guys worst episode yet wow man remember so don't forget to smash that dislike button it really helps us out how long ago did you title a podcast that says like a weird i'm sorry or some shit that that must have been so fucking tame can the title just be that entire Donald Trump coffee pasta? Can that be the title? No. And then Dash, please stop

talking. No, that's too long. The algorithms. And you can just title it Boy Preggers. Stop not calling it that either. Also, apparently you've never talked about the Bubba Gump story. Okay, because I'll tell that story in a sec, because

this one was a complete lie. I was going to tell a really long story and it was going to end with a pregnant woman asking me the moral implications of fucking a night. Oh my God. Oh my God. You should have committed, man. I would have won. Dude, this might become the most censored episode of the podcast. Congratulations,

everybody. This is the worst. I'm so pissed off that you did not just commit to the boy preggers bit that would have been so good what do you mean by hookah and hate crime what does that holy shit that night was insane that is such a good question two of my friends got engaged congratulations whatever uh congratulations to whatever whatever boy preggers whatever after the whole getting on a knee and engaging part they're like all right we're gonna go fucking celebrate and party and we're in austin and uh

they go we could either go to six street which is the regular bar area yeah not fun or they're like we know this one weird location that has three bars that are all connected to each other one of them is like just a fucking weird bar that attracts crazy peoples the other one's a strip club and the other one's a hookah bar oh i love a hookah bar and so we're like well we'll go to that because there's a you know we're probably not going to go to the strip club but those two other bars sound fun because one of them just weird and crazy the other one's like you know dancing all that shit so we go to the first bar which is a weird and crazy bar and um you gotta describe you just keep calling it weird and crazy we don't know what that means fucked up and crazy i'm i'm going to describe it that's just like

that's just what the bar is like known as i don't know what it's fucking called but like yeah this is just a weird and crazy bar oh joe's fucked up and crazy bar so i i i did not plan on getting very drunk but we walk into this bar and um at first it kind of looks pretty normal like it's it's a pretty bright bar in the sense of like a lot of clashing colors and patterns and whatnot. But the more you look at little things, there's just really weird shit. From the ceiling, you don't really

notice it, but they have hanging lights. But if you look at the shape of the light bulbs, they're angels fucking. What? Rad. There's a giant picture on the back wall of um what's that one marble sculpture with the guy with the tiny penis i think it's david oh the the vaporware guy the

mannequin piss no that's a that's a baby that's i think it's a statue of david we get it we know the we know we know the one all right it's literally called of David. We get it. We know the one. All right. It's literally called David. A picture of that statue, but over the penis is Santa Claus. Okay. If you walk up to that painting and you lift up the Santa Claus, there's a giant camera and it projects your face onto the other half of the wall with the projector. So everyone knows you're looking at a penis. That's awesome! That's

fucking awesome! That's really funny. It also has a bunch of hidden rooms that are all giant fire hazards. Dude, what the fuck? Because they don't have any labeled exits. And there's like just random... There's like you pool on a picture frame that's not labeled as a room.

You have to just... This is the most Austin place I've ever heard of. You just have to either see someone who has gone in this room or know someone who's been there before, but you open this picture frame and you're in a giant ball pit. This is a hookah bar? No, this is not the hookah bar. This is the weird bar. Oh, sorry.

I thought it was a hookah bar. The hookah bar. No, the hookah bar is next door. I was like, man, that's a fire hazard. Imagine having a bunch of lit coals. I mean, the hookah bar is next door. It's still a fire hazard. Oh, no.

Well, no, because it's well ventilated if it's a separate spot. I mean, there's no labeled exits. No, no, no. 100% fire hazard for so many multiple reasons. Oh, God. That shit is is 100 not up to go we're talking we're talking to the construction guy here i trust his word on this oh yeah the second i fucking walk in there i go this room is illegal uh this does not pass code i say ready to have a fun night i I love the sentence. This room is illegal. Do you think the way that you walk into that room is the same way that like

someone who validates like OSHA violations would walk into a room? Do you think it's like the same kind of mindset? They'll walk in and they're just here to have a good time, but they'll notice like hammers on the wall or something. It'd be like, Hmm, if I was on duty, I would be tearing this place apart.

It's 100% all I see now. That's very funny. I have had to take like actual OSHA classes to where you get certified. Oh my God, this guy is OSHA certified. Try and find those things. And it's all I can see now. I see so many OSHA violations every day and it drives me insane. I'm doing most of them. Yeah, that time that you stacked two ladders on top of each other to change a light bulb had me raising some eyebrows, but you know, they trust you more than... You have the highest ceiling of all time.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. I realize that this bar is too strange for me to be this sober. I started drinking a little bit more. I really had only planned to have like one or two beers because I had to drive back early in the morning. So I partially leave the group to go back to the bar to get a mixed drink, like something stronger. And as I walk into the bar, I see this guy break dancing.

And I'm like, yo, this is fucking sick. No fucking way. Also, keep in mind, this is not like a dance floor. This is like there are tables and a bar and this dude is just break dancing and i'm like well i have to fucking watch this shit so get my drink and i'm just watching this guy break dance and then this dude comes up and he's first of all the guy break dancing is dressed very similar to that one picture of Dwayne The Rock Johnson where he's got the black turtleneck. Oh, yeah.

Classic. From his WWE days. I'm already like, this is pretty fucking funny. The Rock is breakdancing. Some dude walks up and he's dressed straight out the Victorian era, but not a costume. You can tell these are real clothes. This is what he wears every day he's dressed up like he's living in like england in the 1800s but he's like an aristocrat he starts

break dancing okay this is fucking sick oh i shit you not if my friends did not come to join me in watching this no one would have believed the next part so the guy dressed as the rock stands up and backs off because this victorian man who's break dancing is clearly winning he's winning was there like in an official battle just happening no sometimes you just know you know when you're being showed up yeah okay here here's here's another weird thing i i've been to clubs where dance circles form and everyone's always like yeah yeah yeah everyone's dead fucking silent like there's music playing but no one's saying anything they're just watching so you've got to sit your white ass down and listen i i shit you not. Adolf Hitler. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You're fucking kidding. You're lying. He walks into the break dancing circle. There's no fucking way. And starts busting it down. No. You're lying. I am not fucking shitting you. Fuck you.

You're fucking lying. There were no swastikas on it, but it was a man in a military uniform with the mustache. Did he have the hair? You're fucking lying. I don't know what Hitler's hair looks like. Yes, you do. It looks like... It looks like James Somerton.

You're his biggest fan. Don't lie. No, he did not have the hair. He didn't have the hair. Then how did you know that was Adolf Hitler? The mustache. The mustache is... I guess it could have been Charlie Chapman.

It could have also been J. Jonah Jameson. Charlie Chaplin in a military uniform. That was his role in the dictator oh he was playing the role of charlie chaplin in the dictator it wasn't hitler guys there was there was no swastika i mean if there's no swastikas no hair just the mustache that might have actually been charlie chaplin tbh but the military uniform bro but the dictator i truthfully don't remember the details of the uniform. He's probably listening right now. Can you tell us if you were Hitler or Charlie Chaplin?

Let us know in the comments down below. Let us know in the comments down below. Are you Hitler? Yes or no? I can tell you this. He was walking a fine line. Like, look, military hat, military uniform, mustache, no swastikas. I think it all checks out, boys.

This boy would be like, I mustache you a question nice so hitler broke it down sexual so hitler walks into a bar well once hitler started break dancing we kind of looked at each other and said we're probably not in the right bar what so i i i don't know about you billy i'm not about to break it down with hitler if i if i was there i'd be like i am in the right place at the right time right now not because of hitler but because of the shenanigans i mean if i saw hitler at a bar i would go to him be like bro you would love brickelberry hear me out it's kind of like i'm we we went to the hookah bar after that and i know one more thing fuck really fucked up happened but for the life of me i can't really remember it only because one of my friends was

like you are not drunk enough you need to get fucked up and we got bottle service and i got wasted what an interesting way to close this off and then hitler broke dance i don't remember what happened next everything after that was isn't that what happens in inglorious bastards i swear to god not not exactly uh you you could definitely say that he busted down in inglorious bastards i just remember that bit in the glorious bastards where they talk about star wars i just remember all the scalping yeah julian you've seen inglor glorious bastards yeah yeah yeah it's like fucking he's talking to hitler at brad pitt's talking to hitler and brad pitt's like dude i'm losing my mind how many star wars movies out there are there and hitler says nine nine nine what what that's funny wow so i'm glad you're leaving man

also you 100 did not ever talk about bubba gump really apparently not i think it was actually during football you just told that story but now i can barely remember it i just remember you pelting women with the pregnant women with shrimp or something. I was pelting them with something else. Billy, why'd you have to say pregnant women again? It's just on the mind. We finally got off that topic and started talking about Charlie Chapman. I'm going to start

pelting you with rocks. Like you did for those boy girls. Boy girls? That sounds like a hate crime to me. that's not right let he who is without boy pregnant cast fuck oh my god awful awful hey. Hey, I could make another Hitler pun if that's the stuff you prefer. Go for it.

Give us everything you got. Adolf Hitler walks into a bar and then the bartender says, Hey, I love Prisoner of Azkaban. And I really thought you were going to say Adolf Hitler walks into a bar, he starts breakdancing, no one will believe Corbin. I believe you.

I just think he wasn't Adolf Hitler. The other weird thing is, why were people dressed up in costumes? This was not Halloween. Why didn't you ask? Were you scared they were going to eat you? I was nervous. And become suspiciously Corbin-sized? You could have just asked Hitler, like why are you hitler someone

should have tried that i'm kind of losing my mind because this is like a recurring joke in archer of like whenever they flash back to archer's childhood it it's almost always halloween and he's always dressed dressed like charlie chaplin and then when the flashback ends i have a different thing that i always flash back to with this i have there's an old obscure british sitcom called bottom that my dad would always make what he really likes and it's uh very questionable in terms of social anything at times but one of the funniest jokes it continually repeatedly did is that one of the main characters his full name is called edward hitler and anytime some anytime he told some other full name

they'd chuckle and be like oh that's funny any relation and you just be like yes oh i do think it was charlie chapman that's what i'm saying because that makes sense why the other guy was dressed up like he was from the Victorian era. Oh! He was Charlie Chapman too. He just didn't commit to the bit. You keep saying Chapman. I don't fucking know his name. Chaplin?

Chaplin. I've never heard him say it. He was in the silent era! That's good. That's good. Nice. That's good. Film buffs are clapping right now i like jokes i like jokes oh by before we get into patreon questions we should probably we should

probably mention uh that ed you're you are not coming back oh i have gone forever yeah pst 2.0 not coming back yeah this is it real pst 2. 2.0, when I was given the terms and conditions that we have to sign annually to be a host. That's not, that is not real. One of them was a distinct lack of being funny. So I was like, well, I can't be on this anymore because I'm hilarious. That's why 50% of this episode will probably not air is because i was on it yeah man um and yeah this was it this is the end of the ed era this is the end of the punk duck makes it extremely hard for billy to land sponsors era of please stop talking oh my god

you're making it sound like I'm actually forcing you out. Oh no, you're not. There's no bad blood. There's no bad blood. No one be fucking weird about it. It's just because you want to focus on your own stuff. Yeah, sure. Whatever. Alright, Patreon questions.

Who's going to explain how Patreon questions work? Oh, Patreon questions. You give money and we fucking answer your question if we feel like it. Most of the time we don't feel like it. Yeah, end of the podcast. End the podcast.

End it right here. Okay, fine. Let's see. HL Long Girl asks, is it morally acceptable to fuck a bitch? long girl asked is it morally acceptable to the term well ed this one's for you give us your answer you know scientists say that adolf hitler was actually born with a penis penis-shaped skull that's the source of his racism that's why you were so mad all the time

adolf hitler asks who's that white boy sitting across the bar who keeps eyeing me i like his vibe me what was that fucking pose that's like me and my girlfriend like your vibe bitch boy want to come i go to kevin spacey's house to get an autograph i leave with a penis shaped skull we should read these questions by the way guys what are we doing well we read two already what are you talking about oh that's right dummy little dummy come on all right let's see remember when kanye was gonna name an album yitler and that leaked and we were all like no way that's not real yeah we all thought that wasn't real but then he you know then then he went through his newest arc he was actually gonna call

it yitler yes he ended up calling it yandi or some shit i thought that was a meme i didn't think i might be spreading misinformation but honestly i don't care it's funny and also i don't care it's kanye west you can yeah it's kanye west like this is the whose reputation am i damaging at this point and also whatever shit you make up about Kanye West is probably not going to end up being stranger than what is real. Right, exactly. It's like, what harm am I doing to this guy right now?

Remember when he was going to run for president and he revealed his campaign logo and it was just a big fucking swastika? Like, oh, yeah. That's sick. Was that real, too? Yes, that was real. I keep seeing shit and I'm like,

oh, that's a meme. There's no way. And then I learned that it's real and I'm like, man, all right. That's Kanye West. Wake real too? Yes, that was real. I keep seeing shit and I'm like, oh, that's a meme. There's no way. And then I learned that it's real and I'm like, man, all right. That's Kanye West. Wake up, Mr. West. Check the analytics of the PST YouTube channel. Biggest subscriber past 90 days, Kanye West. I mean, but he made Disney World.

What? No, that is true. It's not Disney World. It's Yizney World. That's true. Fuck you. Funny. Hey, we should read some questions. We should read. I was going to say.

Fucking hell. We could do diarrhea note, I guess. I was about to say we should do diarrhea note. Diarrhea note. Alright, you go. Okay. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Adolf Hitler asks, a book falls from the sky in front of you.

No, it's Adam Wittrich. Adam Wittrich. Oh, sorry. Sl. Adolf Hitler asks, a book falls from the sky in front of you. No, it's Adam Wittrich. Adam Wittrich. Oh, sorry. Wittrich? Slip of the tongue. A book falls from the sky in front of you. I thought you were just going to say again and it was just going to be Adolf Hitler again.

Would have been funny. It would have been, yeah. You should make a joke next time. Third time trying to read this. A book falls from the sky in front of you. You see on the cover it says diarrhea note you write someone's name in it and find they violently shit immediately how do you use this power to better your own life or mankind in general i open it up i type ed ed ed ed ed

how violent is it like is it like dehydration like death diarrhea presumably the more times you write down the name the more it increases in severity it increases in like velocity hydrate yeah i mean it stacks is what i'm imagining it's like it's like a debuff that stacks i like to i like that i like that it stacks who's who's a stank bitch we all hate? Fucking Adolf Hitler, personally. I would write Charlie Chapman impersonator just to see if I'm right. Go back to the bar. Yeah, yes. Wait till he starts breakdancing.

I sit there and wait. They said this man's been sitting here every day with a black book that just says diarrhea note on the outside. He's been waiting for something, but we don't know what the one day they see me writing my notebook and leave and discuss yeah what if he just doesn't shit his pants then you're like i still leave what do you do then yeah i feel like you would leave and discuss anyways presumably you need to like once you get this your first instinct is gonna be like okay i need to test this to make sure that it works right like who do you test i mean am i okay do you write myself am i yeah am i constipated oh you can become such a doctor how backed up am i i would probably like test it on myself yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm

saying how how backed up it's pretty low stakes so wait do you get like a little shit demon like in death note you know how in death you have to make one person poop a day you know like in death note you got like uh oh it's gone no you gotta even billy it was right there you get a shitty gami you get a shitty gami and does he explain the rules to you like like in like in death note is he like uh if you write down his name does he shame no no that's not how it works in death no you can't kill him he dropped the poop note he dropped the poop note because he was bored yeah he dropped the poop note because he was bored. Yeah, he dropped the poop note because he was bored.

So now you have a shitty gami. I mean, the question is if you make enough people shit themselves, do the forces get a savant to come after you? I really want Willem Dafoe to turn to light poopy gami. And he goes like,

you know, whoever uses the poop note, they don't poop themselves naturally. I will be the one like you know whoever uses the poop note uh they don't they don't poop themselves naturally i will be the one to write your name in the poop note dude holy shit i rebranded it to poop note because i thought that's funny this is actually the worst episode we've ever recorded this is one of the worst you're right i like i like poop note though poop note is a fun time yeah this is the highlight we need to better the world that's the question who would we kill oh i mean i was thinking i'd become a street performer i'd gather a crowd and for my first trick i'd ask for someone's name and make them shit themselves

in public i really like the idea of like just finding a youtuber you really think needs to stop uploading and then try and like trying to train them like a dog every time they upload you write their name down oh my god dude every time they make a tweet you write their name down just anytime they use their platform it's like okay you're shitting yourself oh i don't like that because then people use it on a day they don't have the poop note for being the word they would write pst and literally every member at the same time hey billy you don't want to group shit are you serious i mean it depends is it like one of those nice toilets with like all the toilets facing each other in a circle like that it's a fucking bob odenkirk and the guy from american

psycho staring each other down with the toilets to face each other just like that i was gonna say how i would better humanity is i would just have like a charity stream with like incrementally increasing um like donation tears so like fifty dollars i shit myself hundred dollars i shit myself two hundred dollars i shit myself a thousand dollars i shit myself and i've got great news you do not need the poop note for that have i ever talked about that one time i took laxatives and went to see avatar 2 no i'm gonna have a sharded i have a sharded yeah no i i took it i'm gonna be honest that was one of the weakest moments of my life i i was i it was like after my surgery and i was backed up so they gave me some uh they they we got some uh laxatives hey ed weren't you the one

who told me that you thought for the longest time that being bricked up means you need to shit yes wait bricked up doesn't mean that no it means you're hard no fuck you no are you serious no no way i thought bricked up i'm saying is listen i just i had i was i was bricked up and bricked out and i had to i i took laxatives and then i i was like oh avatar is avatar is at our movie theater we should go do that it was like a few a few like minutes after it was like maybe 15 30 minutes i go to boo and i'm like let's go do that let's go to the let's go see avatar and he was like okay and i had just taken my uh laxatives and i uh went to see one of the longest movies of all time while on laxatives worked out well i'm sure i didn't

shit myself but i i definitely took you know he to be fair what's his name did say that you need to get up and go pee pee during the movie james cameron yeah james cameron was like you need to go poo poo or pee pee and i was like yeah i did does the movie have an intermission built in no it doesn't he just says like oh during the movie just fucking get up and leave and go piss that's awesome billy i'm also pretty sure bricked out means you're you're on xan really i didn't know that we gotta fucking you you fucking you anglos need to figure your shit out with your with your bricks with all these bricks and shit anglo sax tons what the fuck is going on anymore i don't fucking know. We were talking about the poop note and then I talked about going to see

Avatar 2 in theaters while on laxatives. Are we doing another question? Oh god. If we can find another good one. Oh man. Lyric Sagsgård? What Pokemon would you absolutely dick down like a feral beast?

We're not doing that we are not doing cop outs or vanilla answers like loo punny is there like a is there like a nine month i was about to say nine months oh my god Stop Oh my god I'm so off guard Oh my god Is there actually Dick down like a feral animal

There's no way somebody said that How are you surprised These are furries They absolutely said that shit How old ago is this Corbin Yeah it's right there it's a lyric scars guard yeah dick down like a feral beast no bitch cop out wow yeah wow wow would you look at that y'all really just they they really just type that down and hit send huh dude they typed that

down sexual style and hit send not only only did they type that down, they went to a separate keyboard to get the emoji out. That's true. They did get the emoji out. They still had the confidence to hit send. And they even added who they would fuck. Wow. Right there.

I'm a fan of Salazzle. What is Salazzle? I don't fucking know any of these. Oh, isn't Salazzle the fucking... We don't know Pokemon. What is it? It's the black and purple one. Oh, I think it is. Yeah, it looks like a salamander type deal

yeah that's a weird pick can we put uh salazel in the uh in the thumbnail so this person is enticed oh my god do not type salazel on google image i think we found out i don't think that they're alone or they're making all this art yeah no this one dude this one dude is going crazy drawing salazzo with breast they've got a very flexible art style huh um i was uh damn dude i i've decided which one i would dick down like the like a feral beast. Why are we still on this? What's the one that's like a fucking turtle and it's also an apple pie or whatever the fuck? Apple pie? That's just a turtle, bro.

It's just a turtle. No, but it looks like an apple pie. No, it's a fucking apple pie. That's true. Like American pie. I feel like I would pick that one because I feel like I'd be able to see the damage afterwards. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Ed.

Wait, what was this? Appleton. First, we're talking about nine-month pregnant. Now we're talking about whether or not we can dent the Apple. Stop. Why are you talking? What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. You you did it again i did it a second time

appleton is like the it's it's this it's a turtle with but it's it's a turtle but it's also an apple pie one of their uh attacks and it has a is thick mucus that's what i gave him the apple the apple yeah the fuck boy come on gets boy pregnant with boy mucus oh it is i can't believe you went out and just fucking dropped a hot stinky bomb like i want to see the damage you're so fucking vile that's that's one of the worst things you've ever said. That is one of the most reprehensible answers you could have given. That is disgusting. I'm so grossed out right now. That is so putrid.

Ed, do me a favor. Go ahead and open that package on your desk. Huh? Hang on. What is this? Go ahead and open that package on your desk. Huh? Go ahead and- Ugh. What is this? Huh? Hey, thanks so much for listening over the years. We're really happy with how things are going with 2.0,

all the new assets, all the new art, all the new vibes. And we really hope that you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it. But that's going to be in January. So let's think about right now. Thanks so much for listening. And here are some of the top supporters that made this show possible. Thank you. Alan Diver, Art of Vagin, Björör, Bland But Funny, Boopoo Lou, Caffeine Addicted Chemist, Cheese Dreams, Chris Chapman, Christian Van Engen, Dasul Bert, Delling City, Dog Named Bear,

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for that you're gonna see more of it very very soon have some happy holidays and we'll see you in pst 2.0.